Latest / Privycast / Ep. 153 Elf Unions and Unfair Work Conditions w/ Dingle the Elf (Privychat 37)

Transcript

Ep. 153 Elf Unions and Unfair Work Conditions w/ Dingle the Elf (Privychat 37) · Privycast

• 0:14
  >> Hunter Hoover: Uh, welcome back to Privy. Privy
• 0:17
  is a podcast about bathrooms
• 0:20
  recorded this week. I'm
• 0:23
  a little bit undercover. I'm definitely
• 0:25
  not in home record studio
• 0:28
  to end our privy
• 0:31
  Christmas celebrations.
• 0:34
  Uh, my intention and my goal
• 0:37
  is to, after three or four years of failing
• 0:40
  to do so, bring you
• 0:44
  Hunter's top 10
• 0:46
  winter festive treats. Now, the
• 0:49
  problem with this is in years past,
• 0:54
  I've tried to bring you these festive
• 0:57
  holiday, uh, offerings via my home record and my
• 1:00
  secondary recording studio at our church
• 1:02
  bathroom. And while the
• 1:05
  interruptions that we have endured
• 1:08
  have been a treasure, um, and
• 1:11
  shout out to Santa and Mrs. Claus for stopping by in years
• 1:14
  past, um, we gotta get to this
• 1:17
  list. The top 10 list of hoovy
• 1:20
  snacks needs to happen. And
• 1:22
  so I am stowed away in a secret
• 1:25
  location, not my home, not
• 1:28
  secondary recording studio, but a secret location
• 1:30
  unknown to any
• 1:33
  Kris Kringle or Mrs. Kringle,
• 1:36
  uh, unknown to any reindeer, totally off the
• 1:39
  grid and removed from anywhere
• 1:41
  where one might be able to detect me. And
• 1:44
  of course you might hear the echo as a result. There's
• 1:47
  a bit of an echo this week. And, uh,
• 1:50
  that is for anonymity. We've gotta keep things
• 1:53
  quiet, otherwise we're not gonna get through this list.
• 1:56
  And so I am in recording studio,
• 1:59
  recording studio away from recording studio. Top
• 2:02
  secret. Uh, and to bring you
• 2:05
  the hoovies'holiday treat list.
• 2:08
  And in years past, I've spoken
• 2:11
  and on this list, and they're in no particular order, you
• 2:14
  guys understand it. Um, and in no particular order, um,
• 2:17
  on the list is divinity. And
• 2:20
  if you don't know, divinity is like little clumpy marshmallow
• 2:23
  looking guys. And they're just sugar and they're
• 2:26
  delicious and they're great. And it's a
• 2:29
  key to any holiday, uh,
• 2:32
  hualy whaty. And just get
• 2:34
  divinity in your life. It's very good.
• 2:37
  So second on the list, uh, of holiday goodies
• 2:40
  is definitely going to be the salted nut roll.
• 2:43
  The salted nut roll. And I'm not talking about the weird kind of
• 2:46
  turd shaped nut log that you find
• 2:49
  in most grocery stores. While those are delicious,
• 2:52
  I'm talking about there's this homemade nut roll.
• 2:55
  You know, I think one goal I
• 2:58
  have is in this list, in
• 3:01
  compiling this list of delicious treats
• 3:04
  and getting it out to you, is that
• 3:07
  you understand the importance not only of the word nut
• 3:10
  rol, um, but in its significance
• 3:13
  in our lives. It's a
• 3:15
  delicious delight, uh, to be enjoyed by
• 3:18
  all. It's very good, very friendly,
• 3:21
  estimated in that it's so Simple.
• 3:24
  But it's got that soft bottom.
• 3:27
  Soft bottoms are where it's at. Next on
• 3:30
  our list, and it's one that we
• 3:33
  visited before. And I understand that there's
• 3:36
  a bit of controversy around. Around this hoovie
• 3:39
  holiday treat. Um, is the presence of
• 3:41
  fudge on the Christmas
• 3:44
  like festive treats platter the
• 3:47
  holiday. Hello?
• 3:50
  >> Speaker B: Hello.
• 3:51
  >> Hunter Hoover: Oh, u.
• 3:52
  Uh,
• 3:56
  how. How did you. Who. Who are.
• 4:00
  Who are you?
• 4:01
  >> Speaker B: Dingle.
• 4:03
  >> Hunter Hoover: Dingle?
• 4:03
  >> Speaker B: Yeah. I came from North Pole.
• 4:06
  >> Hunter Hoover: How did you. I'm stowed
• 4:09
  away. I, uh,
• 4:12
  have been trying to get my hoovies'holiday
• 4:15
  treat sample list out for four years,
• 4:18
  and I have hidden myself in this bathroom.
• 4:21
  So I, uh, don't understand
• 4:23
  How. How did you know I was here?
• 4:26
  >> Speaker B: I'm a very big fan of your podcast.
• 4:28
  >> Hunter Hoover: Oh, shoot.
• 4:29
  >> Speaker B: It's one of my favorite things to listen while I'm working, actually.
• 4:32
  >> Hunter Hoover: Oh. So I don't wan. Toa
• 4:35
  assume so. Dingle, you're an elf,
• 4:38
  Correct. Okay. Uh, I mean that in the
• 4:41
  nicest way possible. Um,
• 4:44
  are you, like, a traditional. What type of elf got.
• 4:47
  Are we getting into here? Are we, like Keebler
• 4:50
  cookie tree elf or like, what sort of elf
• 4:53
  are you?
• 4:54
  >> Speaker B: Unfortunately, no. I'm actually
• 4:56
  the lowest of the lows of the
• 4:59
  elves, in all honesty. U.
• 5:01
  Um, I'm the guy that
• 5:04
  works.
• 5:05
  >> Hunter Hoover: Oh, Dingle.
• 5:06
  >> Speaker B: With Santa.
• 5:07
  >> Hunter Hoover: You work with Santa?
• 5:08
  >> Speaker B: Yes.
• 5:09
  >> Hunter Hoover: That's gotta be, like, physically.
• 5:12
  That's gotta be, like, the best gig ever, though, working with Santa. S.
• 5:15
  He's like the big man. No, it's the big show.
• 5:18
  >> Speaker B: He definitely is big.
• 5:20
  >> Hunter Hoover: He's big. Well, yeah, he's gotta be. He's. I
• 5:23
  mean, he's Santa. That's. It's not a good gig.
• 5:25
  >> Speaker B: It is the worst gig I've ever had.
• 5:29
  And I know as an elf, we once made cookies in
• 5:32
  a treehouse, and the treehouse said caught onto
• 5:35
  fire.
• 5:35
  >> Hunter Hoover: Yeah. So I never really understood that. It always
• 5:38
  seemed like a bad idea.
• 5:39
  >> Speaker B: That's what I was saying. But no,
• 5:43
  it just seems.
• 5:44
  >> Hunter Hoover: It just seems like a bad place to stick at an oven
• 5:47
  is inside of a tree.
• 5:49
  >> Speaker B: You would think so.
• 5:50
  >> Hunter Hoover: Yeah.
• 5:50
  >> Speaker B: Uh, but Santa didn't.
• 5:52
  >> Hunter Hoover: Santa. Oh, Santa put. Santa is in chart.
• 5:55
  Oh.
• 5:55
  >> Speaker B: Santa calls all the shots.
• 5:57
  >> Hunter Hoover: Okay, so he's like, in charge of all elves?
• 5:59
  >> Speaker B: Yes.
• 6:00
  >> Hunter Hoover: Okay, so are you like a. Are you like a toy elf
• 6:03
  or you like a. Are you. Do you work with the reindeer?
• 6:06
  >> Speaker B: Um, um, I do a little bit of time with reindeer, but I
• 6:09
  mostly actually help Santa with
• 6:12
  his, um, toy making.
• 6:15
  We'll say the health needs.
• 6:16
  >> Hunter Hoover: Health needs?
• 6:17
  >> Speaker B: Yeah. U. Um, you know, he's a big guy.
• 6:20
  He can't really reach his back. So, uh, it's.
• 6:24
  >> Hunter Hoover: Wait a minute.
• 6:25
  >> Speaker B: A lot of the time it's like sponge bath type
• 6:28
  to space.
• 6:28
  >> Hunter Hoover: Wait, wait, so you're
• 6:32
  m. Uh, okay, so last year, Mrs. Claus
• 6:35
  came on the show. She aired grievances against
• 6:38
  Santa for a lot of things, but
• 6:41
  she did mention that there were elves that
• 6:44
  helped him bathe.
• 6:45
  >> Speaker B: That is my job.
• 6:46
  >> Hunter Hoover: That's your job?
• 6:47
  >> Speaker B: Yes. The lowest of the low.
• 6:53
  >> Hunter Hoover: What. How do you get. There's other
• 6:56
  elves at the North Pole? How you. How do you
• 6:59
  get into Santa? Scrub
• 7:01
  duty.
• 7:02
  >> Speaker B: Well, speaking about the treehouse that caught on the fire,
• 7:05
  I may or may not have been the one to preheat the
• 7:08
  oven a little too hot that day.
• 7:10
  >> Hunter Hoover: O.
• 7:11
  >> Speaker B: And this is more of a punishment than
• 7:13
  anything.
• 7:14
  >> Hunter Hoover: Got it. Oh, do you get
• 7:17
  paid?
• 7:18
  >> Speaker B: Uh, about 50. 50 cents less
• 7:20
  than everybody else.
• 7:23
  >> Hunter Hoover: Just out a spite.
• 7:24
  >> Speaker B: We only make a dollar 25 cents an hour.
• 7:27
  >> Hunter Hoover: Dollar 20. Is that like. Is that like North Pole dollar?
• 7:30
  Is that like. Is that like bitcoin? What does Santa
• 7:32
  use? Does he like. I don't know,
• 7:36
  Is he. Is he USD?
• 7:37
  >> Speaker B: He is not USD. He's actually a peso. Okay,
• 7:40
  Peso.
• 7:41
  >> Hunter Hoover: There you go. Mexican currency
• 7:43
  it125 peso. That's,
• 7:46
  um. So. But you're on one set. Uh, are you at like
• 7:49
  75 cents then?
• 7:51
  >> Speaker B: Is that like that? Correct.
• 7:52
  >> Hunter Hoover: Okay. Uh, that seems
• 7:54
  like not enough to be. Do
• 7:57
  you just run his bath? Like, just get the bath ready
• 8:00
  and.
• 8:01
  >> Speaker B: I would love to say yes.
• 8:04
  >> Hunter Hoover: Okay. So why can't you say yes? Do
• 8:07
  you do more than running Santa's bath?
• 8:10
  >> Speaker B: Um, I, ah, have been known to do the
• 8:13
  occasional feet soaking.
• 8:15
  >> Hunter Hoover: Okay.
• 8:15
  >> Speaker B: And clipping the toenails.
• 8:18
  >> Hunter Hoover: Uh.
• 8:18
  >> Speaker B: Oh, God, yeah. Yeah. It's not.
• 8:22
  I don't recommend it.
• 8:24
  >> Hunter Hoover: Yeah. Do you have like, does
• 8:27
  anybody. Can you have. Is there other elves that like, take turns
• 8:29
  or is this like.
• 8:31
  >> Speaker B: I've got one other person, but he's kind of, you know,
• 8:33
  Santa's got big legs, so he's kind of there
• 8:37
  as like the stool or.
• 8:39
  >> Hunter Hoover: Okay.
• 8:40
  >> Speaker B: Yeah. Kind of just resting for Santa to put his legs up
• 8:43
  there.
• 8:43
  >> Hunter Hoover: Oh, that sounds, um,
• 8:46
  displeasing. Yeah. And it also sounds like a bad look
• 8:49
  for Santa. Like, the more I learn about
• 8:52
  Santa, the more devious he seems
• 8:55
  he is.
• 8:55
  >> Speaker B: I mean.
• 8:56
  >> Hunter Hoover: Yeah.
• 8:57
  >> Speaker B: What other guy? Or, uh, I guess
• 9:00
  who else in the world knows when, like,
• 9:03
  you're awake at all times.
• 9:04
  >> Hunter Hoover: That's true.
• 9:05
  >> Speaker B: And. Or sleeping.
• 9:06
  >> Hunter Hoover: That's true. Does he hold that against you? Guys, Is that
• 9:09
  like part of his blackmail is like, does he
• 9:11
  blackmail the elves?
• 9:13
  >> Speaker B: I haven't been black.
• 9:14
  >> Hunter Hoover: Okay. But, uh,
• 9:17
  uh, so the bath time.
• 9:20
  Dingle.
• 9:24
  Do you. Don t. You don't
• 9:27
  scrub Santa? Do you like.
• 9:30
  Do you bathe Santa?
• 9:32
  >> Speaker B: Yes. So actually.
• 9:34
  >> Hunter Hoover: God.
• 9:35
  >> Speaker B: Um. One of our favorite things to do in the North
• 9:38
  Poles actually watch of Grey's Anatomy.
• 9:40
  >> Hunter Hoover: Okay. So, um, Wild
• 9:43
  was Okay.
• 9:43
  >> Speaker B: I know we're very big on health and doctors.
• 9:46
  Andado, I guess up there.
• 9:49
  >> Hunter Hoover: That's right. Yeah.
• 9:49
  >> Speaker B: Yeah.
• 9:50
  >> Hunter Hoover: Well, it depends on where you're at. I mean, right.
• 9:52
  >> Speaker B: Currently it's up there for us, but.
• 9:55
  >> Hunter Hoover: Right.
• 9:56
  >> Speaker B: Yeah, it depends where you're at. But yeah. No, um.
• 9:59
  >> Hunter Hoover: Grey's Anatomy.
• 9:59
  >> Speaker B: Yeah, it's crazy. So, uh,
• 10:02
  it's more of a sponge bath.
• 10:04
  >> Hunter Hoover: Okay.
• 10:05
  >> Speaker B: So at least I don't have to try to get him into the
• 10:08
  tub or anything.
• 10:09
  >> Hunter Hoover: Yeah, he's like. He's doing like sink bath type stuff. Yeah,
• 10:12
  that's good.
• 10:13
  >> Speaker B: Yeah, good. One bowl for the
• 10:15
  dirty water that we're getting in. One bowl that has
• 10:18
  a bunch of clean water.
• 10:22
  >> Hunter Hoover: Would it be better if he was in the bath? So you didn't have to see
• 10:25
  as much, though? Like, this is where I'm stuck
• 10:28
  on. I've thought too much about
• 10:30
  Santa in the bath at this point.
• 10:33
  >> Speaker B: I don't know if me and the other elves can make a
• 10:36
  bathtub big enough.
• 10:37
  >> Hunter Hoover: Oh, shoot. He's so. Is he bigger than people
• 10:40
  think?
• 10:41
  >> Speaker B: He's pushing almost £500.
• 10:43
  >> Hunter Hoover: 500? Yes. That's a big boy.
• 10:45
  >> Speaker B: Yeah. We're trying to put him on a diet.
• 10:47
  >> Hunter Hoover: Yeah, well, but he's like only. He's like cookies only. Right.
• 10:50
  >> Speaker B: Cookies only. And that's the thing. Like,
• 10:53
  his blood pressure is high. My blood
• 10:56
  pressure is like through the roof.
• 10:58
  >> Hunter Hoover: Yeah.
• 10:59
  >> Speaker B: I can't.
• 11:00
  >> Hunter Hoover: Just dealing with Santa.
• 11:01
  >> Speaker B: Just dealing with Santa eating a bunch of sugar. Yeah,
• 11:04
  I'm very bloated. I'm getting there too.
• 11:06
  >> Hunter Hoover: It'll do a guy in. Do you. Um.
• 11:09
  So Mrs. Claus said that sometimes
• 11:12
  Santa invites the reindeer in to bath
• 11:15
  time with him. Are you guys also required to help scrub the
• 11:18
  reindeer with Santa? Why does Santa do
• 11:21
  that? I have so many questions.
• 11:23
  >> Speaker B: Um, I'm not sure why Santa would do that, but
• 11:26
  yes, that is a thing we do do.
• 11:28
  >> Hunter Hoover: Yeah.
• 11:28
  >> Speaker B: Uh, it's not very often, but hu. It's
• 11:31
  probably like a once a month thingay.
• 11:34
  They're outside in the snow a lot, which, you know, it's a
• 11:36
  reindeer, so I don't. I kind of
• 11:39
  view them as. Yeah, they're outside a
• 11:42
  husky of the deer world, I guess you want to.
• 11:45
  >> Hunter Hoover: Say, hey, that's pretty good. That's pretty good.
• 11:47
  >> Speaker B: And, uh, so we do have to get them cleaned
• 11:50
  off a bit, but it's. Yeah, they're never
• 11:52
  oily. It's kind of weird.
• 11:54
  >> Hunter Hoover: It doesn't seem like any of this should be a thing that
• 11:57
  you're doing.
• 11:58
  >> Speaker B: No. And wholeheartedly, I
• 12:01
  believe that we should have a North Poless. Union North.
• 12:04
  >> Hunter Hoover: So are you guys, like, uh.
• 12:07
  Is that part of why you're here is to, like, begin the
• 12:10
  process of unionizing?
• 12:12
  >> Speaker B: I mean, partially.
• 12:14
  >> Hunter Hoover: Partially. Okay.
• 12:15
  >> Speaker B: Um, but the biggest thing is my ears rang for
• 12:18
  fudge.
• 12:19
  >> Hunter Hoover: Oh, yeah. You know, I have to admit,
• 12:22
  I don't have. I mean, there was probably fudge made
• 12:25
  in this bathroom at some point today, but, like,
• 12:28
  I have none.
• 12:30
  >> Speaker B: I think that's a different kind of fudge.
• 12:32
  >> Hunter Hoover: Does Santa. Does Santa
• 12:35
  make you guys interface with any of his fudge?
• 12:39
  >> Speaker B: No, I don't have to do that.
• 12:41
  >> Hunter Hoover: Okay. You don't have butt wiping?
• 12:42
  >> Speaker B: No.
• 12:43
  >> Hunter Hoover: Okay, that's good. Is there an elf who wipes the
• 12:46
  butts, or is he, like.
• 12:47
  >> Speaker B: We don't necessarily wipe his.
• 12:50
  But it's. We kind of power
• 12:53
  wash it. Like
• 12:56
  a standing bidet almost.
• 12:58
  >> Hunter Hoover: Okay. Is it like a bigger bidet?
• 13:02
  How much girth does Santa got on his butt?
• 13:06
  I don't.
• 13:08
  >> Speaker B: I would say take a. Take.
• 13:11
  Take a medicine ball or, like, even
• 13:14
  better, two yoga balls.
• 13:16
  >> Hunter Hoover: Oh, wow. Yeah.
• 13:17
  >> Speaker B: Yeah. It's kind of a big butt.
• 13:21
  >> Hunter Hoover: You know, I'm wondering. There's these videos that
• 13:24
  sometimes parents show their kids, and it's
• 13:27
  essentially two balloons that they have taped
• 13:29
  together, and then they spread Nutella in between
• 13:32
  the balloons, and then they teach
• 13:35
  their child how to wipe their butt, and they
• 13:38
  practice wiping the balloons to get the Nutella off.
• 13:42
  Could this maybe be a thing that you guys try
• 13:45
  with Santa? Um, I'm just trying to think
• 13:48
  of the guy that's having you help
• 13:51
  with bath time and sometimes,
• 13:54
  like, pressure washing the be.
• 13:57
  I worry, like, even though I think y'all's
• 13:59
  unionizing might be in your best interest, I worry that
• 14:02
  Santa's going to react strongly to it.
• 14:05
  >> Speaker B: If, uh, we were able to get Santa
• 14:08
  to wipe on his own
• 14:10
  accord, that would have to
• 14:13
  involve a loss of 200 pounds.
• 14:16
  >> Hunter Hoover: Oh, okay. So we're.
• 14:17
  >> Speaker B: He can't really.
• 14:19
  >> Hunter Hoover: Jez.
• 14:20
  >> Speaker B: Yeah.
• 14:22
  >> Hunter Hoover: Have you ever seen him try? Like, I'm wondering if maybe
• 14:24
  Santa is just not trying and he's just,
• 14:27
  like, likes that you guys do it.
• 14:29
  >> Speaker B: Have you ever tried to scratch the midle
• 14:32
  middle of your Back up top.
• 14:34
  >> Hunter Hoover: Yeah. Yeah.
• 14:35
  >> Speaker B: It's not very successful, is it?
• 14:37
  >> Hunter Hoover: Not usually.
• 14:38
  >> Speaker B: That's kind of what it looks like.
• 14:43
  >> Hunter Hoover: Oh, dingle. Do you guys
• 14:46
  watch like, as he. Do you ever. Is it one of those
• 14:49
  things where it's like. I think I just asked you if you
• 14:52
  watched Santa poop. That's not what I mean. Um,
• 14:55
  is it one of those things where
• 14:58
  he begins the. And it's like, nope, you gotta try
• 15:01
  and kind of like, you know, little kids. You want him to try something before you
• 15:04
  just do it for him. Is it kind of like that where it's like every time
• 15:07
  Santa does a brown, he's got at least attempt
• 15:10
  it?
• 15:10
  >> Speaker B: Correct.
• 15:11
  >> Hunter Hoover: Okay.
• 15:11
  >> Speaker B: Yes.
• 15:12
  >> Hunter Hoover: Oh, so you guys watch this disaster happen for you?
• 15:14
  >> Speaker B: Yes. Yes.
• 15:15
  >> Hunter Hoover: Okay, so there's not. Okay, so this is not like
• 15:18
  a. All right, Santa, that's enough. You can do it. He's
• 15:21
  truly. He's truly in trouble.
• 15:22
  >> Speaker B: Yeah, we actually, like,
• 15:26
  we sit there and we make sure Santa's not lying to
• 15:29
  us. Oh, and he's fully
• 15:32
  not capable of being able to wipe his butt.
• 15:34
  >> Hunter Hoover: Yeah. Has he ever. Um,
• 15:36
  so why doesn't Mrs. Claus's help with any of
• 15:39
  this? Have you guys ever talked to her about, like, why she's
• 15:42
  not playing a role in her husband's
• 15:45
  health care and wellness?
• 15:46
  >> Speaker B: Uh, during my time in the North Pole, I've
• 15:49
  probably seen her once.
• 15:51
  >> Hunter Hoover: Really?
• 15:51
  >> Speaker B: Yeah.
• 15:52
  >> Hunter Hoover: Where do you think she's at?
• 15:54
  >> Speaker B: Hopefully making the chocolate milk and the hot
• 15:57
  chocolate. Yeah, I know
• 15:59
  that. Mrs. Claus'hot chocolate and chocolate
• 16:02
  milk and.
• 16:03
  >> Hunter Hoover: Is it a game changer.
• 16:04
  >> Speaker B: It's the best thing I've ever had.
• 16:07
  But I can't go ask Carlos the elf.
• 16:10
  >> Hunter Hoover: Yesus.
• 16:11
  >> Speaker B: Carlos usually always burns the milk.
• 16:13
  >> Hunter Hoover: Okay.
• 16:14
  >> Speaker B: Yeah.
• 16:15
  >> Hunter Hoover: Is Carlos like, help. He helps in the kitchen or is he.
• 16:17
  >> Speaker B: He tries.
• 16:18
  >> Hunter Hoover: He tries. Does he.
• 16:21
  Does he ever, like. Does Carlos the elf ever
• 16:24
  mix like, hot cocoa and
• 16:26
  coffee into a concoction of any given
• 16:29
  name?
• 16:30
  >> Speaker B: Yeah. And actually, uh, depending on where
• 16:33
  you're from in the North Pole. Cause there's a little different
• 16:35
  locations.
• 16:37
  Um, some places
• 16:40
  call it a ghetto mocha G.
• 16:42
  Okay. Or a poor
• 16:45
  man's coffee.
• 16:46
  >> Hunter Hoover: Oh, o. Does he do that?
• 16:49
  >> Speaker B: Carlos will.
• 16:50
  >> Hunter Hoover: Does he give it to Santa?
• 16:52
  >> Speaker B: Yeah. And that honestly might be why we do so much
• 16:55
  defecation.
• 16:56
  >> Hunter Hoover: Okay, see. Cause my understanding, based
• 16:59
  on Mrs. Clau's report, is that Santa's. His
• 17:02
  poo is mostly like liquid, which.
• 17:05
  >> Speaker B: Is troubling that the two
• 17:07
  stories add up. Then, you knowh.
• 17:10
  >> Hunter Hoover: Shoot.
• 17:11
  >> Speaker B: He's just drinking a lot of caffeine inst.
• 17:14
  Instead of milk. Unless he's lactose.
• 17:17
  >> Hunter Hoover: That could be. I've never. I mean, these are all
• 17:20
  questions that, uh. So when I talked to Santa years
• 17:22
  ago, he was more
• 17:25
  frustrated. So maybe this is a confession to
• 17:28
  you, Dingle, and your elf partners
• 17:31
  is in
• 17:33
  22:23. Not. It's not important. And
• 17:36
  Santa'totally forgiven me. It's fine. I told the kids of the
• 17:38
  world that they need to catch Santa,
• 17:41
  and the way to do it is to give him X.
• 17:44
  So, um,
• 17:48
  Santa was mad, but it's water under the bridge,
• 17:51
  and I'm pretty sure Everybody involved. Santa, Mrs.
• 17:54
  Claus, and the elves have totally moved
• 17:56
  on. Um, but do you think,
• 17:59
  like, maybe. Was there a particularly.
• 18:02
  Do you remember a particularly bad year? Is
• 18:05
  it, like, it probably wasn't like,
• 18:08
  two or three years ago?
• 18:10
  >> Speaker B: No, just. Let's
• 18:12
  see. I would say the worst thing that
• 18:15
  I've ever seen was probably
• 18:18
  three, four years ago. And,
• 18:21
  um,
• 18:24
  it. Have you
• 18:27
  ever been to Minota Falls?
• 18:31
  >> Hunter Hoover: You know, oddly enough, Dingle, I have, uh.
• 18:34
  I have been there. Is.
• 18:38
  Why do you ask?
• 18:41
  >> Speaker B: Yeah.
• 18:42
  >> Hunter Hoover: Okay.
• 18:42
  >> Speaker B: Yeah.
• 18:43
  >> Hunter Hoover: Santa had his own little Multnoma
• 18:46
  Falls.
• 18:46
  >> Speaker B: Yeah.
• 18:47
  >> Hunter Hoover: Okay.
• 18:47
  >> Speaker B: It did not sound pleasant. Was not pleasant.
• 18:51
  >> Hunter Hoover: Yeah, but y'all were, like. You didn't have to
• 18:54
  deal with it.
• 18:54
  >> Speaker B: Not there? No. I was in the treehouse at that
• 18:57
  time.
• 18:58
  >> Hunter Hoover: Okay, so you hadn't made it to the North Pole.
• 19:01
  Um, so your
• 19:03
  main concern is, like, workplace conditions.
• 19:06
  >> Speaker B: Correct.
• 19:06
  >> Hunter Hoover: At the North Pole. Okay. Do they got HR up
• 19:09
  there? I don't know if they got hr.
• 19:11
  >> Speaker B: We have one person.
• 19:12
  >> Hunter Hoover: Yeah.
• 19:13
  >> Speaker B: Name's Becky.
• 19:15
  >> Hunter Hoover: Becky?
• 19:15
  >> Speaker B: Yeah. She doesn't do much.
• 19:18
  >> Hunter Hoover: I'assumed you've taken this concern to Becky.
• 19:22
  >> Speaker B: Becky's scary.
• 19:24
  >> Hunter Hoover: Okay. Becky.
• 19:26
  >> Speaker B: I wouldn't. I wouldn't talk to Becky.
• 19:29
  Even with a megaphone, she's scary.
• 19:31
  >> Hunter Hoover: Well, but. But it seems like Becky's the one that could
• 19:34
  solve the Santa diarrhea bath time
• 19:37
  problem. For you, maybe.
• 19:39
  >> Speaker B: Unfortunately, she's the one who rides our schedules.
• 19:41
  >> Hunter Hoover: Uh. Oh, do you think Becky's putting you on
• 19:44
  bathroom duty more often?
• 19:46
  >> Speaker B: Probably. And that's probably cause I complained about her
• 19:50
  candy cane cookies not too long ago.
• 19:53
  >> Hunter Hoover: Becky. So Becky's kind of petty.
• 19:55
  >> Speaker B: Yeah.
• 19:56
  >> Hunter Hoover: Okay. So, Dingle, it sounds like a.
• 19:59
  It's kind of a rough spot. Cause, like,
• 20:03
  obviously Carlos isn't gonna be helping Santa at bath time.
• 20:08
  He wants to be a chef. I don't know.
• 20:09
  >> Speaker B: What's Carlos'deal Yeah, he's just
• 20:12
  trying to work in the kitchen. Yeah,
• 20:15
  I don't know how successful that's going.
• 20:17
  >> Hunter Hoover: Are you not allowed to Work in the kitchen. Cause of the treehouse thing.
• 20:19
  >> Speaker B: Correct.
• 20:21
  >> Hunter Hoover: Got it.
• 20:22
  >> Speaker B: I wanted to be a baker.
• 20:23
  >> Hunter Hoover: Okay. Do you still want to be a
• 20:26
  baker?
• 20:27
  >> Speaker B: Not after the treehouse incident.
• 20:29
  >> Hunter Hoover: Okay, so you got some trauma.
• 20:32
  Um, so main grievance
• 20:35
  scrubbing Santa. Does he.
• 20:39
  It's not. But, like, how dirty can
• 20:42
  he get? Like, I mean, it's Santa. He's like,
• 20:45
  magic. Doesn't like the filth. Just magic
• 20:48
  itself.
• 20:48
  >> Speaker B: Unfortunately, no.
• 20:50
  >> Hunter Hoover: What.
• 20:51
  >> Speaker B: He is, um. Let's just say
• 20:54
  we're frequent flyers of, uh, switching out his
• 20:57
  bedheets because. Oh, Lord, he's a big
• 20:59
  guy. He sweats a lot in sleep.
• 21:02
  >> Hunter Hoover: You know, o. This is gonna be a weird question
• 21:05
  that. I don't know why you would know the answer to this,
• 21:08
  but when Santa sweats, is it
• 21:11
  similar to, like, when. Like, m. I don't know
• 21:14
  about elves, but, like, when humans sweat, it's kind
• 21:17
  of salty. Is. Is Santa's sweat different?
• 21:20
  Like, is he built different?
• 21:22
  >> Speaker B: I will not confirm nor deny the fact
• 21:25
  that it might taste like sugar.
• 21:27
  >> Hunter Hoover: Oh, no. Do the.
• 21:30
  Oh, my gosh. Do the reindeer lick Santa for,
• 21:32
  like, as a treat.
• 21:34
  >> Speaker B: It wasn't the reindeer.
• 21:38
  >> Hunter Hoover: Dingle. No, no.
• 21:40
  Is this. Dingle,
• 21:43
  dingle,
• 21:46
  dingle. It's gonna be hard for me to continue
• 21:49
  the grievance under the
• 21:52
  assumption that you or another elf. I'm notnna say it
• 21:55
  was. You may or may not have licked Santa.
• 21:58
  We're gonna say his armpit or his arm.
• 22:01
  You know, he's a sweaty guy. I know. It couldn't have
• 22:04
  been the back. Does he have back hereir?
• 22:06
  >> Speaker B: Yes. And it feels like
• 22:09
  80 grit sandpaper. Oh.
• 22:12
  So, yeah, it's pretty rough in coars and
• 22:16
  bad.
• 22:17
  >> Hunter Hoover: So you. But you've had to interface with that, correct?
• 22:20
  >> Speaker B: That's. That's my main job of
• 22:22
  washing Santa. I got the backside.
• 22:25
  >> Hunter Hoover: Like, the whole backside or, like.
• 22:28
  >> Speaker B: No, just his back. U. Um, okay, again,
• 22:30
  we power wash. Yeah.
• 22:32
  >> Hunter Hoover: Oh, that's right. That's right.
• 22:34
  >> Speaker B: And I don't really have to get the
• 22:37
  legs.
• 22:38
  >> Hunter Hoover: That's good.
• 22:38
  >> Speaker B: You know, he's kind of a big guy. He doesn't move whole
• 22:41
  lot.
• 22:42
  >> Hunter Hoover: Yeah. How does he do the chimney thing? Like'm,
• 22:44
  um. Is it just Christmas magic? Is that
• 22:47
  just how he does it? Like, how does he do the chimney thing with.
• 22:50
  >> Speaker B: So Santa actually did tell me that
• 22:53
  when he goes down a chimney, he's able to use his
• 22:56
  magic, and he expands it out to his body
• 22:59
  size. Okay, now what you guys
• 23:02
  are thinking is what happens when
• 23:05
  there is no chimney and. Or fireplace.
• 23:08
  >> Hunter Hoover: Right? Right.
• 23:09
  >> Speaker B: Whatever misconception You've heard.
• 23:12
  >> Hunter Hoover: Okay.
• 23:12
  >> Speaker B: He does not go in through your window like a
• 23:15
  burglar.
• 23:15
  >> Hunter Hoover: Okay. I was gonna say, is it classic home invasion at that
• 23:18
  point or.
• 23:19
  >> Speaker B: No. So, actually, again, this is where his magic comes
• 23:22
  in. He'll put a fireplace in chimney.
• 23:24
  >> Hunter Hoover: He creates one.
• 23:25
  >> Speaker B: Yes. Just for the time being. So he can, um, slide
• 23:28
  down because he always lands on the roof.
• 23:31
  >> Hunter Hoover: Is Santa. Does Santa got a thing for
• 23:34
  sliding down shoots? Like, is that. I, uh, mean, is
• 23:37
  he.
• 23:38
  >> Speaker B: I honestly believe before he wanted it be. Before
• 23:41
  he became Santa, I think he actually wanted
• 23:44
  to be a fireman.
• 23:45
  >> Hunter Hoover: Fireman, yeah. What a strange
• 23:48
  man.
• 23:48
  >> Speaker B: Yeah.
• 23:49
  >> Hunter Hoover: You know, I will note that when I talked to
• 23:52
  Santa, he completely left out
• 23:56
  the fact that he has the elves aid
• 23:59
  him to this degree.
• 24:00
  >> Speaker B: Why would you tell somebody that you can't help your own
• 24:03
  self?
• 24:03
  >> Hunter Hoover: I guess. I guess. Yeah. It's a bad look. And it
• 24:06
  makes sense that Mrs. Claus doesn't want any part it. Because,
• 24:10
  you know, I mean, I think it's
• 24:12
  hard to stare down the thing you've created. You know what I mean?
• 24:15
  >> Speaker B: Before there were elves, she had to do it.
• 24:18
  >> Hunter Hoover: Okay.
• 24:19
  >> Speaker B: And guess who had to clean the reindeer.
• 24:23
  >> Hunter Hoover: Was it Mrs. Claus?
• 24:24
  >> Speaker B: It was M. Mrs. Claus.
• 24:25
  >> Hunter Hoover: Okay, so you guys are. So
• 24:28
  did you get hired? Or is it like a.
• 24:31
  I dare to say, is it forced labor?
• 24:33
  >> Speaker B: Not forced labor. It was kind of like an adoption
• 24:36
  agency.
• 24:36
  >> Hunter Hoover: Okay, that's also
• 24:39
  interesting. Um, I don't know. I almost
• 24:42
  wonder if forced labor is better than that even. That's
• 24:45
  kind of dark. You guys were adopted? Are you his kids?
• 24:49
  >> Speaker B: Adoptive kids.
• 24:50
  >> Hunter Hoover: Okay.
• 24:52
  >> Speaker B: I've been with Santa for about one, uh, hundred fifty
• 24:54
  years.
• 24:55
  >> Hunter Hoover: Oh, my gosh. And,
• 24:58
  uh, so, Santa.
• 25:01
  Uh, yeah, I do think you need to. I do think
• 25:04
  we need to get some sort of unionization. HR something
• 25:07
  in place. Cause.
• 25:08
  >> Speaker B: Will you help me with that?
• 25:10
  >> Hunter Hoover: Well, I. See I don't. Around here.
• 25:13
  I'mnna be honest. And from where
• 25:16
  I'm from. How do
• 25:19
  I put this? Dingle. I struggle
• 25:22
  sometimes to see how effective things
• 25:24
  are.
• 25:26
  Um, and a lot of times when I go to
• 25:29
  hr, I don't see anything happen. And that's
• 25:32
  why I was curious. And it sounds like Becky's not gonna
• 25:34
  help. Um,
• 25:38
  I'm trying to think of, like, who could keep Santa in line.
• 25:41
  Cause Mrs. Claus doesn't seem willing to. She probably could,
• 25:43
  but it sounds like she doesn't have to do it. Y'all are on
• 25:46
  it. And she's like, I'm not breaking what's not fixed here.
• 25:50
  Um, Jack Frost.
• 25:53
  >> Speaker B: You know, my. That was. That Was my
• 25:56
  go to, man.
• 25:57
  >> Hunter Hoover: Really?
• 25:57
  >> Speaker B: Yep.
• 25:58
  >> Hunter Hoover: Does he help you guys out at all? Or is it like, Jack Frost
• 26:00
  is.
• 26:01
  >> Speaker B: No longer allowed in the North Pole?
• 26:04
  >> Hunter Hoover: Did Santa banish him, or is it.
• 26:06
  >> Speaker B: Yeah, and there's a story behind that.
• 26:08
  >> Hunter Hoover: Um.
• 26:08
  >> Speaker B: Um. Okay, what was it?
• 26:12
  Jack Frost went up to the North
• 26:14
  Pole, and I believe he tricked
• 26:17
  Santa.
• 26:18
  >> Hunter Hoover: Oh, yeah.
• 26:19
  >> Speaker B: Okay.
• 26:20
  >> Hunter Hoover: Okay. Yes.
• 26:21
  >> Speaker B: And then created fake Santa.
• 26:23
  >> Hunter Hoover: Yes. Have we ever thought about
• 26:26
  maybe. Hmm. M. This is a little
• 26:29
  unconventional. And I don't know, this might take, like, elf power
• 26:32
  that we maybe haven't tapped into
• 26:34
  since, like, the Treehouse days. But, like, have we
• 26:37
  ever thought about hog tying Santa and just, like, having
• 26:40
  Jack Frost make a fake Santa and just see if Ms. Claus doesn't
• 26:43
  notice? Like, do it all over again.
• 26:46
  Cause. Because fake Santa doesn't poop.
• 26:49
  >> Speaker B: So, like, I'm not against the
• 26:51
  idea.
• 26:52
  >> Hunter Hoover: So, Jack Frost, if you're
• 26:55
  listening, the elves might.
• 26:58
  Might be behind you on this. I'm not gonna say yes,
• 27:00
  because we love you,
• 27:03
  Santa. Wink. Not wink, but,
• 27:06
  like, it might be worth a shot.
• 27:09
  And I don't know. I'm curious about
• 27:12
  his role.
• 27:13
  Um, but Mrs. Claus
• 27:16
  doesn't support your grievance. She's. See, this is why
• 27:19
  I'd be problematic again.
• 27:20
  >> Speaker B: I've only seen her about once.
• 27:23
  >> Hunter Hoover: Really?
• 27:23
  >> Speaker B: Yeah.
• 27:24
  >> Hunter Hoover: That's baffling because, uh,
• 27:27
  she was here last year. She interrupted our show last
• 27:30
  year, and,
• 27:32
  and, man, she was just as upset with
• 27:35
  her husband as you are with him. Maybe not just as
• 27:38
  upset. Y'all's grievance seems a little more
• 27:41
  real, maybe.
• 27:42
  >> Speaker B: The thing is, is, like, she might see
• 27:45
  all of the other elves, but,
• 27:47
  uh, she doesn't really see the house
• 27:50
  elves.
• 27:50
  >> Hunter Hoover: She doesn't see.
• 27:53
  Do you, um, um, Dingle.
• 27:59
  Do you have clothes?
• 28:02
  I, I, I One set once.
• 28:05
  Yeah.
• 28:05
  >> Speaker B: See, this is two pairs of underwear.
• 28:07
  >> Hunter Hoover: Two pairs of underwearay.
• 28:08
  >> Speaker B: So what happens is,
• 28:11
  Monday, wear them correctly.
• 28:14
  >> Hunter Hoover: Okay.
• 28:15
  >> Speaker B: Tuesday, inside out.
• 28:18
  Wednesday, new pair.
• 28:20
  >> Hunter Hoover: Okay.
• 28:21
  >> Speaker B: Thursday, inside out.
• 28:23
  >> Hunter Hoover: Okay.
• 28:24
  >> Speaker B: Friday, we go commando because it's wash day
• 28:27
  and because all of the house elves
• 28:30
  wash there. Uh, closed
• 28:33
  together.
• 28:34
  >> Hunter Hoover: Okay.
• 28:35
  >> Speaker B: You might be getting an extra large
• 28:38
  size.
• 28:39
  >> Hunter Hoover: Oh, uh, so it's not like you don't own your clothes.
• 28:41
  It's like. No. Okay.
• 28:43
  >> Speaker B: It's more of a rent to hire type deal.
• 28:46
  >> Hunter Hoover: Does. Why don't
• 28:49
  y'all have, uh, more clothes? Is it just.
• 28:53
  >> Speaker B: Again, house elves only get paid $0.75,
• 28:56
  and that's pesos.
• 28:58
  >> Hunter Hoover: Sh. And
• 29:01
  Santa's. He seems as
• 29:03
  if he has y'all making magical toys.
• 29:08
  What would happen if y'all created, like, can you
• 29:11
  guys, magic clothes.
• 29:13
  What if you stole Santa suit?
• 29:17
  I know it's too big, but you could, like, chop it up and maybe.
• 29:20
  >> Speaker B: You're giving me an idea.
• 29:22
  >> Hunter Hoover: Yeah.
• 29:23
  >> Speaker B: We will shove five LVEs in
• 29:25
  there.
• 29:26
  >> Hunter Hoover: You guys could, like. You could, like, uh,
• 29:29
  Space Jam, uh, the Alien
• 29:32
  Tune Squad, like, stack yourselves.
• 29:34
  >> Speaker B: Up in Santy'suit or, like.
• 29:37
  >> Hunter Hoover: Or like, you don't even need Jack Frost.
• 29:39
  >> Speaker B: One of my favorite movies is the Little Rascals.
• 29:41
  >> Hunter Hoover: Yeah. And so, like, Grey's Anatomy
• 29:44
  and A Little Rascal.
• 29:45
  >> Speaker B: Yeah. It's actually. We live our best lifeah most
• 29:48
  of.
• 29:48
  >> Hunter Hoover: The time, I guess so.
• 29:50
  >> Speaker B: U. But there was that
• 29:53
  scene where three boys climbed on each other's shoulders
• 29:56
  to go get a bank loan. We can do that with Santa
• 29:59
  with his outfit.
• 30:00
  >> Hunter Hoover: That's not a bad idea.
• 30:03
  Think. Um,
• 30:06
  do you think that could.
• 30:09
  What are the odds? I'm trying to figure out, like, what are the odds that
• 30:12
  y'all end up in a precarious situation with a reindeer?
• 30:14
  Because I don't know. I have never had a confirm or
• 30:17
  deny, but I think Santa's up to some nefarious things
• 30:20
  with. I think it's blitzing.
• 30:23
  Um, and so I'm wondering if Blitzen's gonna,
• 30:26
  like, see y'all in the Santa suit stacked
• 30:28
  up five atop each other and get the wrong
• 30:31
  idea.
• 30:33
  >> Speaker B: Blitzens's the snitch.
• 30:35
  >> Hunter Hoover: Blitzen'snitch M.
• 30:38
  What is he snitched on? Is he, like.
• 30:41
  Do you think he knows you're here?
• 30:44
  >> Speaker B: No.
• 30:44
  >> Hunter Hoover: Okay.
• 30:45
  >> Speaker B: No, I took Rudolph, actually.
• 30:46
  >> Hunter Hoover: Uh, Rudolph. Do you like Rudolph?
• 30:50
  >> Speaker B: Yeah. The only thing I don't like is the nose.
• 30:53
  >> Hunter Hoover: The nose. Does it actually glow like in the documentary?
• 30:55
  >> Speaker B: Yes, but the issue with
• 30:58
  Rudolph's nose glowing, it's kind of a
• 31:00
  Pinocchio type deal.
• 31:02
  >> Hunter Hoover: O. Is it
• 31:05
  triggered by lying, or is it triggered by something else?
• 31:08
  >> Speaker B: I think it's triggered by something else. But that's a
• 31:10
  conversation for a later day.
• 31:12
  >> Hunter Hoover: Yeah. With probably Rudolph's
• 31:15
  consent. He might not
• 31:18
  like that.
• 31:19
  >> Speaker B: Correct.
• 31:19
  >> Hunter Hoover: Got it. Um. Wow. So,
• 31:23
  Dingle, you're here. I wish I could do more for your
• 31:26
  cause. Um,
• 31:30
  is there a reason why the other elves have kind of, like,
• 31:32
  also. I mean, that they're not helping you out, that they
• 31:35
  kind of. I mean, it's dingle duty.
• 31:38
  Again. Like, is there a reason that you get tossed
• 31:41
  to this so often?
• 31:43
  >> Speaker B: Um, in all honesty, I believe it's because of what
• 31:46
  my last name is. I
• 31:49
  am Dingleberry.
• 31:51
  >> Hunter Hoover: You're less. What?
• 31:55
  Okay, so
• 31:57
  Dingleberry.
• 31:59
  >> Speaker B: Yes, it does. It sounds like
• 32:02
  something that happens while in the bathroom.
• 32:06
  >> Hunter Hoover: Yeah. That's tough.
• 32:08
  >> Speaker B: You know, I think they're bullying me
• 32:11
  because of my name.
• 32:12
  >> Hunter Hoover: So this is like workplace harassment.
• 32:14
  >> Speaker B: Yes. And that's another reason why I believe we should try
• 32:17
  to unionize.
• 32:18
  >> Hunter Hoover: Well, and it also does. I mean, uh, it's hard for me to wrap my
• 32:21
  brain around the idea that like Santa back
• 32:24
  scrubbing is anywhere in the elf
• 32:26
  like employee
• 32:29
  agreement. I mean, it just simply. I struggle to
• 32:32
  believe that.
• 32:33
  >> Speaker B: I've actually have never seen the employee
• 32:36
  handbook.
• 32:37
  >> Hunter Hoover: Really? Yeah. That's a good tactic that a lot of employers
• 32:40
  do. They hire you and then never show you the.
• 32:42
  >> Speaker B: And then another thing too actually is I've never
• 32:45
  seen my contract that's fascting.
• 32:48
  >> Hunter Hoover: I mean, it starts to make one wonder if you even have
• 32:51
  one. I mean, working under without a
• 32:53
  contract is. It happens.
• 32:56
  Um, but man, it can be troubling.
• 32:59
  People get really upset when it happens.
• 33:01
  >> Speaker B: Oh, yeah. I think I've heard a little bit
• 33:04
  of something about that recently.
• 33:06
  >> Hunter Hoover: Yeah. You know, it's just.
• 33:08
  Yeah. Do you. Do y all have
• 33:11
  like the Internet in the North Pole or is it
• 33:14
  like magic Internet? U. Um, I guess that's
• 33:17
  still Internet.
• 33:19
  >> Speaker B: We do have Internet, but we don't have to worry about
• 33:22
  a satellite dish or anything.
• 33:24
  >> Hunter Hoover: Sweet.
• 33:24
  >> Speaker B: Yeah. I don't quite know how we do it. I'm actually
• 33:27
  pretty positive that all of just
• 33:30
  power and electricity might just come from the North
• 33:33
  Pole.
• 33:33
  >> Hunter Hoover: Okay. Yeah, that's cool. Does, um,
• 33:37
  does Elon Musk have any like, influence over the North Pole
• 33:40
  yet? Has he met Santa? Has Santa met Elon Musk
• 33:42
  yet? Do you know. I mean, dingle.
• 33:45
  >> Speaker B: Again, I will not confirm nor deny, but
• 33:48
  I do know that he's on the. There might be
• 33:51
  some plans for a sleigh upgrade.
• 33:53
  >> Hunter Hoover: Oh, okay.
• 33:55
  >> Speaker B: Yeah.
• 33:55
  >> Hunter Hoover: So it sounds like. I mean, sounds like he is
• 33:58
  like. Yeah, do elves.
• 34:01
  Sorry, I have so many questions. And I have some bathroom questions
• 34:04
  to ask you. Dingle. But kind of last,
• 34:06
  because is there an
• 34:09
  elf like, uh,
• 34:12
  who's like. Can you think of maybe Is there an elf whose
• 34:15
  name that you could like, swap in? I
• 34:18
  mean, if everybody's like, well, Dingleberry needs to be the one that's
• 34:21
  like pressure washhing Santa's b.
• 34:25
  There's gotta be somebody that's got. I mean, obviously
• 34:27
  Carlos is on hot cocoa duty and
• 34:30
  Becky's got the microphone, but like. Or
• 34:32
  megaphone, but who. There's gotta
• 34:35
  be someone that could swap you in.
• 34:38
  >> Speaker B: Maybe Phil.
• 34:39
  >> Hunter Hoover: Phil.
• 34:40
  >> Speaker B: Yeah, McCracken
• 34:43
  Phil.
• 34:44
  >> Hunter Hoover: Oh, see? And he
• 34:47
  sounds Irish, so he probably.
• 34:50
  I'm not gonna Say it.
• 34:53
  But he'd probably be good at it. You know what I'm
• 34:55
  saying?
• 34:56
  >> Speaker B: Yes.
• 34:57
  >> Hunter Hoover: Yeah.
• 34:57
  >> Speaker B: 100% yes.
• 34:58
  >> Hunter Hoover: Um, man, Phil McRaven, that's.
• 35:01
  He. Do you think maybe, like, you could talk the other
• 35:04
  elves into making Phil
• 35:07
  take your spot?
• 35:10
  >> Speaker B: I can try.
• 35:11
  >> Hunter Hoover: That might be your path forward. Cause'just I'm worried
• 35:14
  that that sounds like HR is worthless. Sorry,
• 35:16
  Becky. You're great.
• 35:18
  Um, and it also kind of sounds
• 35:21
  like, you know, I feel like you turn to this
• 35:24
  show to try to help you, and I mean,
• 35:27
  unionize. But it also sounds like the elves are kind of throwing you to the
• 35:30
  wolves here. And so I'm wondering how much they're
• 35:33
  gonna be into it. You know, it's a classic. Our lives are good.
• 35:36
  I don't. You know, why would I do anything?
• 35:38
  I worry for that.
• 35:40
  >> Speaker B: It's. It's tough out here.
• 35:43
  >> Hunter Hoover: Yeah.
• 35:44
  >> Speaker B: But I believe we might be able to get Phil.
• 35:46
  >> Hunter Hoover: Phil? Yeah, dude. Phil McCracken.
• 35:49
  It might be the only path forward. Have you ever thought of
• 35:52
  running away from the North Pole? Like, I mean, you can
• 35:55
  leave. Um, I mean, you're here, you've left, but, like,
• 35:59
  do you have to return?
• 36:01
  >> Speaker B: I could probably go a couple days without them
• 36:04
  realizing I'm gone.
• 36:05
  >> Hunter Hoover: Okay, so this is like, this is like a
• 36:07
  journey plead for kind of
• 36:10
  desperation, or is it like last ditch effort.
• 36:16
  >> Speaker B: Without the terrific things
• 36:19
  that have happened in previous, uh,
• 36:22
  people's lives?
• 36:23
  >> Hunter Hoover: Yeah.
• 36:24
  >> Speaker B: I would say we're close to the Charlie Banson cult.
• 36:26
  >> Hunter Hoover: Okay. Wow. That's.
• 36:28
  >> Speaker B: Without the bad thing.
• 36:29
  >> Hunter Hoover: That's striking. Yeah. Without the bad parts.
• 36:32
  >> Speaker B: Yeah, without the bad part.
• 36:34
  >> Hunter Hoover: Okay. Um, yeah, you
• 36:37
  know, so think. I think what I'll say is, Becky, if you're
• 36:39
  listening to this, you. You put your megaphone down and, like,
• 36:42
  do something. Um, I don't think
• 36:45
  Mrs. Claus listens. She
• 36:47
  mostly seemed annoyed with the idea of this
• 36:50
  entire thing. Um, but Mrs. Claus, if
• 36:53
  for some reason you hear this, number one, I want you
• 36:56
  to sort out the Rudolph thing. I've got some questions about
• 36:59
  Rudolph's, uh, nose. Um,
• 37:02
  but also, I think maybe you need to start playing a role in
• 37:04
  Santa's wiping and washing or pressure washing.
• 37:07
  I guess it's all washing. Um, I guess
• 37:10
  reduces friction. Um,
• 37:12
  and if y'all decide to unionize, I
• 37:15
  mean, I guess hit me up.
• 37:19
  I, uh, just, you know, I really wanna also stay off the naughty
• 37:22
  list. That's something that I also, um, keen
• 37:24
  on.
• 37:25
  >> Speaker B: So that's actually a.
• 37:26
  >> Hunter Hoover: Not in Sana's control
• 37:29
  who controls the naughty list. It's actually Mrs.
• 37:32
  Claus that makes sense. That makes a lot of sense.
• 37:35
  >> Speaker B: She's like everybody's mother. She knows more than.
• 37:38
  >> Hunter Hoover: Has Santa ever been on the naughty
• 37:41
  list?
• 37:42
  >> Speaker B: Oh, yeah.
• 37:43
  >> Hunter Hoover: Is he on the naughty list?
• 37:45
  >> Speaker B: Like, not at this time being. But it is.
• 37:49
  I've probably have seen him over there about three or four
• 37:52
  times.
• 37:52
  >> Hunter Hoover: Really?
• 37:53
  >> Speaker B: Yeah.
• 37:53
  >> Hunter Hoover: And, uh, was one, like, three to four years
• 37:56
  ago when he had a lot of diarrhea?
• 38:00
  >> Speaker B: Yes.
• 38:02
  But I think. I think most of the time,
• 38:06
  Mrs. Claus will put Santa on the naughty list just
• 38:09
  to just like. Just to
• 38:12
  be petty.
• 38:13
  >> Hunter Hoover: Yeah.
• 38:13
  >> Speaker B: Santa's not listening. Well, guess what?
• 38:16
  >> Hunter Hoover: On the naughty list, it's the classic sleeping on the couch for
• 38:18
  Santa. Yes. Yes.
• 38:20
  >> Speaker B: I think that's. I think it's just. I mean,
• 38:23
  a calm situation type deal.
• 38:25
  >> Hunter Hoover: Yeah. I like the idea of Mrs. Claus being in charge of
• 38:28
  the naughty list a little more. Um.
• 38:30
  >> Speaker B: I don't know why she's a little bit more lenient.
• 38:33
  >> Hunter Hoover: Yeah. Well, it sounds like Santa can't lean at
• 38:36
  all.
• 38:36
  >> Speaker B: No.
• 38:37
  >> Hunter Hoover: Yeah.
• 38:38
  >> Speaker B: If he tries, he. I'm kind swinging
• 38:41
  like a Raing ball.
• 38:43
  >> Hunter Hoover: Has Santa ever fallen over and, like, you guys have to help him
• 38:45
  up? Is there, like, a special piece of equipment
• 38:48
  that y'all use to move Santa when he falls down?
• 38:51
  >> Speaker B: I will tell you that one time,
• 38:54
  Santa was trying to walk down the stairs.
• 38:56
  >> Hunter Hoover: Okay, I see you said the word
• 38:59
  trying.
• 39:00
  >> Speaker B: Well, he took a stumble and he fell.
• 39:03
  And in that process, he kind of looked like
• 39:06
  a, um, landed fish
• 39:09
  when you're fishing.
• 39:11
  And he. It was more of a flopping
• 39:14
  motion.
• 39:14
  >> Hunter Hoover: Yeah. Uh.
• 39:15
  >> Speaker B: Um.
• 39:16
  >> Hunter Hoover: Wow. See?
• 39:17
  >> Speaker B: Yeah, that one was hysterical.
• 39:20
  We have it on Elf tube.
• 39:22
  >> Hunter Hoover: Oh, let's go. Yeah. Do you think us
• 39:25
  humans down here can get elf tube? Like, is that possible that we could
• 39:28
  get that hookup?
• 39:28
  >> Speaker B: It is a North Pole subscription only.
• 39:30
  >> Hunter Hoover: Yeah.
• 39:31
  >> Speaker B: Yeah.
• 39:31
  >> Hunter Hoover: Dang it. Regional locked. Um.
• 39:34
  Shoot. Well, little kids, if you're
• 39:36
  listening, I don't know why you would be, but if you're a little
• 39:39
  kid listening to this,
• 39:42
  Santa's okay. Like,
• 39:45
  he does some bad stuff, but we're gonna get it sorted.
• 39:48
  You don't have to be mad at Santa. Or if you are,
• 39:51
  um, and I might just be so bold to
• 39:53
  say, and I can't stress,
• 39:56
  this. Don't do the Xaxx thing
• 39:59
  again. Like, you're gonna think about doing it.
• 40:02
  Don't do it. Like, I cannot stress. Do
• 40:04
  not Xaxx Santa this time use
• 40:07
  Mirrax. Oh. Oh.
• 40:10
  Spin it into that milk.
• 40:11
  >> Speaker B: Yes.
• 40:12
  >> Hunter Hoover: Oh, man. And mirroa milk. He
• 40:14
  gonna. He's gonna. Y'all
• 40:17
  should maybe Hook Santa up with some depends this year. Cause I have
• 40:20
  a feeling that sleigh is gonna need a recoat if we
• 40:24
  do the Miralax sitch.
• 40:28
  >> Speaker B: Monot my fals.
• 40:30
  >> Hunter Hoover: Um, dingle, I have some questions since you're here.
• 40:33
  I hope it's okay. And I know I didn't really help you a
• 40:36
  lot. Um,
• 40:38
  yeah, that seems to be the trend whenever North Pole friends
• 40:41
  visit me. Um, but I wanna know,
• 40:44
  what type of toilet paper
• 40:47
  does Santa provide you guys with up there at the North Pole? Is it.
• 40:50
  It'sably. Like, it's probably pretty good. I mean.
• 40:55
  >> Speaker B: Have you ever used school toilet paper?
• 40:57
  >> Hunter Hoover: Oh. Huh? Uh, yes, it's.
• 41:00
  Yeah.
• 41:02
  >> Speaker B: Yeah. We. I don't even
• 41:05
  know if you can call it one ply.
• 41:07
  >> Hunter Hoover: Santa's given you bad paper.
• 41:09
  >> Speaker B: It's like half ply.
• 41:11
  >> Hunter Hoover: Is that why he pressure or has you guys pressure
• 41:14
  was him isuse he doesn't want to use it?
• 41:16
  >> Speaker B: That could probably be the possibility.
• 41:19
  >> Hunter Hoover: You know, I'm convinced that employers
• 41:22
  who stalk
• 41:26
  any space, but specifically spaces
• 41:29
  where their employees are gon toa have to wipe their butt with
• 41:31
  bad toilet paper. I think that that's a
• 41:34
  hostile work environment. Um, I would add that
• 41:37
  to your list of grievances immediately.
• 41:40
  >> Speaker B: Very well noted.
• 41:41
  >> Hunter Hoover: Um, at the North Pole, does the toilet paper. Is it like an
• 41:44
  over an under? Does. I mean,
• 41:47
  Santa's not messing, but
• 41:49
  actually.
• 41:50
  >> Speaker B: We don't have any toilet paper rolls.
• 41:52
  >> Hunter Hoover: Oh, okay.
• 41:53
  >> Speaker B: And we do have
• 41:56
  separate bathrooms. The boy elves and the girl
• 41:59
  elves.
• 41:59
  >> Hunter Hoover: Yeah.
• 42:00
  >> Speaker B: But we don't actually have any stalls.
• 42:02
  >> Hunter Hoover: Okay.
• 42:03
  >> Speaker B: They're more like counters.
• 42:05
  >> Hunter Hoover: Okay.
• 42:06
  >> Speaker B: And so instead of the toilet
• 42:09
  paper roll.
• 42:10
  >> Hunter Hoover: Yeah.
• 42:10
  >> Speaker B: We actually put them in, like, the napkin boxes.
• 42:13
  >> Hunter Hoover: Okay.
• 42:14
  >> Speaker B: That you'll see at, like, burger King or McDonald'oh.
• 42:16
  >> Hunter Hoover: That's interesting.
• 42:17
  >> Speaker B: Yeah.
• 42:18
  >> Hunter Hoover: Is the toilet up on that counter?
• 42:20
  >> Speaker B: No, the toilet's down low. But,
• 42:22
  like, if you look to the left or to the right,
• 42:25
  you'll see a bunch of heads
• 42:28
  but no bodies.
• 42:29
  >> Hunter Hoover: O. Because every, uh.
• 42:32
  >> Speaker B: If people are in the bathroom.
• 42:33
  >> Hunter Hoover: Got it. Oh, man. Yeah.
• 42:35
  >> Speaker B: So you do have a little bit.
• 42:36
  >> Hunter Hoover: Of privacy, but not enough. Not as much as
• 42:39
  you'd want.
• 42:39
  >> Speaker B: Not from the front.
• 42:42
  >> Hunter Hoover: That's the worst spot to not have.
• 42:44
  >> Speaker B: Privacy when you're going to the very vulnerable.
• 42:47
  >> Hunter Hoover: Has Santa ever come in on y'all when you're in the bathroom?
• 42:50
  >> Speaker B: No, he has his own.
• 42:52
  >> Hunter Hoover: Right. But like. Hm. Hmm.
• 42:55
  Has Has Rudolph ever
• 42:58
  been in that bathroom?
• 42:59
  >> Speaker B: Rudolph has.
• 43:01
  >> Hunter Hoover: See, I'm not so sure about Rudolph.
• 43:03
  >> Speaker B: And it was weird because that was one of the moments
• 43:06
  when his nose.
• 43:07
  >> Hunter Hoover: Got right See, I. Dang it. Rudolph.
• 43:10
  Gosh. You know,
• 43:13
  I notice in the documentary Rudolph's
• 43:15
  nose when Absolute ape escape, when Clarice or
• 43:18
  whatever her brain was. And I
• 43:21
  think you might be onto something. I'm.
• 43:25
  Huh huh. Um, do do
• 43:28
  Dingle. Do you and the other elves, are you bar soap or
• 43:31
  liquid soap elves?
• 43:33
  >> Speaker B: Um, to sw. Each his own.
• 43:35
  >> Hunter Hoover: Okay.
• 43:36
  >> Speaker B: I am a liquid soap guy.
• 43:38
  >> Hunter Hoover: Okay.
• 43:39
  >> Speaker B: I get a three in one. Peppermint smelling, so.
• 43:42
  >> Hunter Hoover: Oh, okay. Yeah. A little twisted. Peppermint or
• 43:44
  like.
• 43:45
  >> Speaker B: Yes.
• 43:46
  >> Hunter Hoover: Yeah. Has Santa ever got. Man. I just. I
• 43:49
  don't know why, but in my brain. I want to ask you if
• 43:52
  Santa's ever got anything lodged in either fat rolls
• 43:55
  or maybe his crack. You know,
• 43:57
  you sit down on a peppermint patty and it. It just
• 44:00
  gets fully yinked. And I. I just don't know. I
• 44:03
  guess you'd find it as you wash him.
• 44:05
  >> Speaker B: But the strangest
• 44:08
  thing I've been able to find.
• 44:10
  Um,
• 44:12
  unfortunately, I don't even know if
• 44:15
  Santsa's probably gonna get mad at me here.
• 44:17
  >> Hunter Hoover: Oh. Um, I find that if you say
• 44:20
  that it wasn't this. Oh, he can't be
• 44:23
  mad.
• 44:24
  >> Speaker B: So. Okay.
• 44:25
  >> Hunter Hoover: It definitely wasn't this.
• 44:26
  >> Speaker B: So one day when I was
• 44:29
  pressure washing.
• 44:30
  >> Hunter Hoover: Yeah.
• 44:31
  >> Speaker B: Um, one of
• 44:33
  the, like, uh, a whiffleball baseball bat
• 44:36
  came out.
• 44:37
  >> Hunter Hoover: Whoa.
• 44:39
  >> Speaker B: Like, I don't know if it
• 44:41
  was vertical or horizontal, but it's just
• 44:44
  in therewhl. Out of his crack.
• 44:46
  >> Hunter Hoover: That's wild.
• 44:47
  >> Speaker B: M. Mhm.
• 44:48
  >> Hunter Hoover: Hmm. Think he's, like, trying to scratch with it or like.
• 44:50
  >> Speaker B: I have no idea.
• 44:51
  >> Hunter Hoover: Santa.
• 44:52
  >> Speaker B: He might have been trying to pop his back.
• 44:54
  >> Hunter Hoover: Ooh. Oh, I bet that would.
• 44:57
  Oh, probably would.
• 44:58
  >> Speaker B: Felt great. But he might have fallen asleep. I don't
• 45:00
  really know. But yeah,
• 45:03
  the yellow bat came out.
• 45:05
  >> Hunter Hoover: That's wild. I bet that bat has seen
• 45:08
  some things. Um. I feel like I know the answer to
• 45:11
  this based on the job that you're
• 45:13
  forced to do, but how do you feel about
• 45:16
  baths?
• 45:19
  >> Speaker B: I love them.
• 45:20
  >> Hunter Hoover: Oh, you. Oh, big fan. As long as it's just you. It.
• 45:22
  >> Speaker B: Just me.
• 45:23
  >> Hunter Hoover: Yeah.
• 45:24
  >> Speaker B: Cool.
• 45:25
  >> Hunter Hoover: Huh. Huh. U.
• 45:26
  >> Speaker B: Uh, we don't do very big.
• 45:29
  Like, we're not a hot tub kind of place.
• 45:32
  >> Hunter Hoover: Yeah. Uh, does it melt the ice?
• 45:35
  >> Speaker B: It would.
• 45:36
  >> Hunter Hoover: Yeah. Okay.
• 45:36
  >> Speaker B: But like, for us,
• 45:40
  we actually kind of just cut a hole
• 45:43
  into a lake.
• 45:44
  >> Hunter Hoover: Okay.
• 45:45
  >> Speaker B: As if we were going ice fishing.
• 45:47
  >> Hunter Hoover: Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm with.
• 45:48
  >> Speaker B: But like, we live in the cold, so the cold
• 45:51
  to us is the heat.
• 45:53
  >> Hunter Hoover: So you're like, into that?
• 45:54
  >> Speaker B: Yeah.
• 45:54
  >> Hunter Hoover: Who. Man, you know, there's Some humans that
• 45:57
  are like. They're like cold plunge people, and they're like, oh,
• 46:00
  it's gonna open up my pores and
• 46:03
  fire my endorphins. And then they, like, shrink
• 46:06
  their wean getting into this ice water, and it's like, what are we.
• 46:09
  What are we doing?
• 46:10
  >> Speaker B: That's only a myth.
• 46:11
  >> Hunter Hoover: It's a myth.
• 46:12
  >> Speaker B: Yeah. Well, for us at the North Pole, we. Because we're so.
• 46:15
  >> Hunter Hoover: Got it.
• 46:16
  >> Speaker B: Immune to it.
• 46:18
  >> Hunter Hoover: So that's like unicorns to y'all.
• 46:19
  >> Speaker B: Yes.
• 46:20
  >> Hunter Hoover: Weird. Do you guys have unicorns in North Pole?
• 46:22
  >> Speaker B: I've never seen one.
• 46:23
  >> Hunter Hoover: Okay, that's. I was like, this seems. I gotta ask. Um, um,
• 46:29
  besides scrubbing Santa, do you have any bathroom pet
• 46:32
  peeves? Does Carlos do anything that annoys
• 46:34
  you?
• 46:35
  >> Speaker B: Carlos is a talker.
• 46:37
  >> Hunter Hoover: Oh. Yeah. So, yeah,
• 46:40
  that'll.
• 46:40
  >> Speaker B: So again, if you look left or look right,
• 46:43
  you might see somebody. Uh,
• 46:46
  Carlos will not shut up.
• 46:48
  >> Hunter Hoover: Yeah. Just.
• 46:50
  >> Speaker B: He gets me off track. Disc
• 46:53
  concentrated.
• 46:55
  >> Hunter Hoover: I m. Wonder if during imo. I know that
• 46:58
  obviously having conversation in the bathroom just doesn't make
• 47:01
  any sense. Um, yeah.
• 47:03
  >> Speaker B: No, Never. Never would make sense.
• 47:05
  >> Hunter Hoover: But maybe the next time Carlos tries
• 47:08
  a conversation, you can give him some really
• 47:11
  bad hot cocoa recipes and see if maybe he gets a
• 47:13
  demerit and see if you can get, like,
• 47:16
  him bounced down to bathroom duty.
• 47:20
  >> Speaker B: That is a great idea.
• 47:22
  >> Hunter Hoover: Yeah.
• 47:26
  I like the fil move better, but I just. Yeah,
• 47:30
  I just don't know. I think Carlos has some untapped
• 47:33
  bathroom potential that he could live up to. And maybe
• 47:36
  Becky. Maybe Carlos. Becky Combo deal.
• 47:39
  They could combo Santa and I
• 47:42
  take Becky's job. Hey,
• 47:44
  Becky. Uh, it's. It's like
• 47:47
  undercover boss. We could do like an undercover boss. And
• 47:50
  then instead of switching back, when Becky's done
• 47:52
  undercovering, she just stays. She just stays there and
• 47:55
  continues to wash Santa.
• 47:57
  >> Speaker B: Yeah, I think that's what we could try to do.
• 47:59
  >> Hunter Hoover: Interesting. Um, yeah, that, you know, could be onto something
• 48:02
  there. Um, Dingle. Do you ever eat
• 48:05
  out, like, fast food or fast
• 48:08
  casual? U.
• 48:09
  >> Speaker B: Uh, yeah, we kind
• 48:12
  of m m.
• 48:14
  Sometimes we go to, uh,
• 48:17
  Burger Queen.
• 48:18
  >> Hunter Hoover: Burger Queen.
• 48:19
  >> Speaker B: Yeah.
• 48:19
  >> Hunter Hoover: Does that. How does Burger Queen treat you? Is it. Does it. Do you in or
• 48:22
  is it like. It. Is it kind of just. It's. It's there.
• 48:25
  >> Speaker B: It's okay. Yeah, I like the burgers, but then their
• 48:28
  ice cream is pretty good too.
• 48:30
  >> Hunter Hoover: Huh?
• 48:30
  >> Speaker B: Uh, and then I also do a lot of
• 48:33
  Delbell.
• 48:34
  >> Hunter Hoover: Delbell. Yeah.
• 48:34
  >> Speaker B: Yeah.
• 48:35
  >> Hunter Hoover: Okay. Yeah, man. Yeah,
• 48:37
  Delbell. Is that like. That's got toa be a North Pole
• 48:40
  region, like Hotspot for,
• 48:43
  I'm assuming tacos, but I'm not.
• 48:45
  >> Speaker B: Yes, tacos and burritos. You are correct.
• 48:48
  Actually, we do enjoy the. The.
• 48:52
  I can't say authentic Mexican food,
• 48:55
  but we do like the American made of Mexican
• 48:58
  a lot.
• 48:59
  >> Hunter Hoover: That's awesome. I mean, you know, I think it's. I
• 49:02
  think it's fascinating that. That these places are
• 49:05
  so far spread. Do you guys have one, like, in house?
• 49:07
  Like, do you actually have to leave the facility at the North Pole to get to it? Or
• 49:10
  is it, like, in, like, kind of like an airport where it's in the thing?
• 49:13
  >> Speaker B: We actually just have one restaurant within,
• 49:16
  like, our facility.
• 49:17
  >> Hunter Hoover: Yeah.
• 49:18
  >> Speaker B: And that's actually Wendy's Jr. Wendy's Jr.
• 49:20
  Yeah.
• 49:21
  >> Hunter Hoover: Okay. Do they. Hmm.
• 49:24
  Does. Wow. Does Wendy's June. Is it, like, because
• 49:27
  your elves and it's smaller. Is that racist?
• 49:30
  Are you a race. I don't even know how to ask this
• 49:32
  question.
• 49:33
  >> Speaker B: We are a racist. No, it's not racist.
• 49:35
  >> Hunter Hoover: Okay, cool.
• 49:38
  I've made it. I've saved myself again.
• 49:40
  Um, does Wendy's junior Mess
• 49:43
  yet?
• 49:45
  >> Speaker B: Not me, but it does mess up a lot of
• 49:48
  the older elves.
• 49:50
  >> Hunter Hoover: Becky.
• 49:52
  >> Speaker B: Yeah.
• 49:52
  >> Hunter Hoover: Oh, we could foul Becky up, and then she has to be in the
• 49:55
  bathroom, and that's how you sneak
• 49:58
  in.
• 49:59
  >> Speaker B: I like that idea.
• 50:00
  >> Hunter Hoover: Okay, Wendy. So we're hitting Becky with
• 50:03
  Wendy's Jr. Santa's getting mirror milk.
• 50:06
  We gotta get something going on for Rudolph.
• 50:10
  I think Rudolph needs to try one of these,
• 50:12
  like, cold bath plunges that the elves are
• 50:15
  into. I think that might be what Rudolph needs in his life.
• 50:18
  >> Speaker B: I think Rudolph actually needs to go to camp.
• 50:23
  >> Hunter Hoover: Oh, he's gotta go discover himself
• 50:26
  out at North Pole camp with the Nor Waalsl and
• 50:29
  the.
• 50:29
  >> Speaker B: Actually, it's kind of ironic. The
• 50:32
  camp's actually in the South Pole.
• 50:34
  >> Hunter Hoover: Oh, really?
• 50:35
  >> Speaker B: Yeah.
• 50:36
  >> Hunter Hoover: Oh, shoot. Is it, like. Is the South Pole
• 50:39
  evil, or is it, like. Is it just, like. Well, it's just
• 50:42
  down there.
• 50:42
  >> Speaker B: Um, I've never been there, but I have heard that
• 50:45
  the penguins down there are these.
• 50:48
  >> Hunter Hoover: They're pretty hostile.
• 50:49
  >> Speaker B: One of the scariest things. Yes.
• 50:52
  >> Hunter Hoover: Uh, maybe what you could do is you could figure out
• 50:55
  how to get the penguins to team up with you. And,
• 50:58
  like, maybe you could get the penguins
• 51:01
  to do the Santa duty.
• 51:03
  >> Speaker B: And that would be a good idea. And then I could
• 51:06
  change my name from Dingle Bery to, like,
• 51:09
  Dingle Penguin.
• 51:10
  >> Hunter Hoover: Dingle Penguin. Maybe, you
• 51:13
  know, Dingleberry, I think. I think
• 51:15
  we. I think Dingle Penguin'something you should
• 51:18
  lean into. Uh, maybe when
• 51:21
  you go back to the North Pole after this.
• 51:24
  And they're like, dingle, you're back. And you're like, yeah, but
• 51:27
  it's Dingle Penguin now. Uh, please call
• 51:30
  me Dingle Penguin. Um, I
• 51:33
  think that might be it. That might break that
• 51:36
  like, name association that,
• 51:39
  that they have for you.
• 51:41
  >> Speaker B: This could take my weekly paycheck, but I think after
• 51:44
  here I might be going running down to
• 51:47
  the a government agency and doing that.
• 51:50
  >> Hunter Hoover: Yeah. Do you, um. Weekly paychecks that coming out
• 51:53
  to like 5, 6 bucks, 10, 15 bucks?
• 51:57
  Is it too soon to like,
• 52:00
  does Santa tax the 75 cents that you
• 52:02
  get?
• 52:03
  >> Speaker B: Yes.
• 52:04
  >> Hunter Hoover: Got it. So.
• 52:06
  >> Speaker B: So it's like
• 52:09
  my gross is 75 cents an hour.
• 52:12
  >> Hunter Hoover: Yeah.
• 52:12
  >> Speaker B: But really my net is like
• 52:17
  60 cents an hour.
• 52:20
  >> Hunter Hoover: Oh, man. Sant. Santa's, uh,
• 52:23
  what does Santa do with the North Pole income
• 52:26
  tax?
• 52:28
  >> Speaker B: Again, not gonna confirm nor deny, but we might
• 52:31
  be getting some upgrades on the sleigh.
• 52:33
  >> Hunter Hoover: Okay. Yeah, it's that sweet, sweet Elon Musk
• 52:36
  upgrades possibly
• 52:39
  alleged. Um, um. Dingle, do you
• 52:42
  ever take a shower in the dark?
• 52:45
  >> Speaker B: Yes. Uh,
• 52:48
  I'm a late showerr.
• 52:49
  >> Hunter Hoover: Yeah.
• 52:50
  >> Speaker B: Yeah, so. And most of our lights
• 52:53
  on the North Pole are on a timer.
• 52:55
  >> Hunter Hoover: Okay.
• 52:56
  >> Speaker B: And, um, well, first'supposed to be in
• 52:59
  bed sleeping. They want to be sleeping.
• 53:01
  >> Hunter Hoover: What's your bedtime?
• 53:02
  >> Speaker B: It's actually like 6. 6pm
• 53:05
  Correct.
• 53:06
  >> Hunter Hoover: So you're like out past your bedtime right now.
• 53:08
  Yeah. Who checks on that? It's not
• 53:11
  Becky, is it?
• 53:12
  >> Speaker B: No, not Becky. That's actually Kevin.
• 53:15
  Yes.
• 53:17
  >> Hunter Hoover: In my brain. Have you ever. Are
• 53:20
  you up in the North Polear? Are you familiar
• 53:22
  with, um,
• 53:25
  uh, Despicable Me?
• 53:27
  >> Speaker B: Yes, actually.
• 53:28
  >> Hunter Hoover: Is life kind of similar as to the
• 53:31
  Minions? I just, I feel like. I
• 53:34
  mean, obviously you're not yellow and you're not
• 53:37
  one eyed. Well, I guess some of them have two eyes.
• 53:39
  >> Speaker B: But we are loyal.
• 53:41
  >> Hunter Hoover: Yeah. Except
• 53:45
  when Santa's got you pressure washing his butthole,
• 53:47
  like that'll undo some loyalty fast.
• 53:51
  >> Speaker B: You would think so, but again, I've been here
• 53:54
  for 150 years.
• 53:57
  Oh, no, you,
• 53:59
  uh, loyalty lies in our
• 54:02
  blood, Dingle. And that's
• 54:05
  honestly probably why I've never left.
• 54:08
  >> Hunter Hoover: Yeah, you know,
• 54:12
  maybe. Maybe that's just. Maybe that's where you're meant to
• 54:15
  be. That feels wrong to say, but
• 54:18
  I don't know. Santa seems to enjoy
• 54:21
  it from what.
• 54:23
  >> Speaker B: You'Re saying, a little too much.
• 54:24
  >> Hunter Hoover: Yeah. Yeah. Does
• 54:27
  his nose ever turn red?
• 54:31
  >> Speaker B: Yes.
• 54:32
  >> Hunter Hoover: Dang it. Santa. Um, Dingle, have you ever
• 54:35
  eaten an orange in the shower as if it was an
• 54:38
  apple?
• 54:39
  >> Speaker B: No.
• 54:40
  >> Hunter Hoover: No.
• 54:41
  >> Speaker B: But I think I Did ask somebody.
• 54:43
  I've heard this before.
• 54:45
  >> Hunter Hoover: Yeah.
• 54:45
  >> Speaker B: And I'm pretty sure I asked somebody the last time I
• 54:48
  was, uh, taking a vacation from the North
• 54:51
  Pole.
• 54:51
  >> Hunter Hoover: Yeah.
• 54:52
  >> Speaker B: If they've ever done that. And I told them to, like,
• 54:55
  hey, you give me your research.
• 54:57
  >> Hunter Hoover: Y tell me if it.
• 54:58
  >> Speaker B: It's, like, worth it.
• 54:59
  >> Hunter Hoover: I mean, uh, I think it's worth it.
• 55:03
  I think it's worth. I think it's worth trying ones, you
• 55:05
  know?
• 55:06
  >> Speaker B: Yeahthing's worth. Doesn it t have to be an orange? Like, does
• 55:09
  cutie or Mana win?
• 55:10
  >> Hunter Hoover: Oh, think. I think any of those are fine.
• 55:13
  Yeah. I'd say go in peace with all of those.
• 55:16
  >> Speaker B: Um, but the hard thing for us, too, is since it's so cold in the
• 55:19
  North Pole, we don't really get that good vegetation.
• 55:21
  >> Hunter Hoover: Yeah. Yeah, that's true.
• 55:25
  Um, yeah, I bet oranges are expensive
• 55:28
  up there. That's crazy. Um,
• 55:31
  well, this is fun.
• 55:34
  Dingle, the lights have gone off.
• 55:36
  >> Speaker B: I'm scared.
• 55:38
  >> Hunter Hoover: Is there a light over there? Yeah.
• 55:40
  Oh, there we go. Speaking of lights going off
• 55:43
  in the North Pole, uh, here we are.
• 55:46
  We just in my secret location, we just had a light turn off. That
• 55:49
  was hooy, boogy. For a second, I thought it was gonna be dicey.
• 55:52
  I'm not gonna lie to you. Um,
• 55:55
  I'm confident that I'm gonna have to call a friend when we
• 55:58
  try to leave this place, um, because I think they shut the lights
• 56:01
  off out there, and I'm wondering if they have set the alarm.
• 56:03
  Um,
• 56:07
  it's okay. I have an inside guy. We got this. It's
• 56:10
  gonna be fine. Um, Dingle, Dingle,
• 56:12
  have you ever performed a waffle stomp?
• 56:19
  >> Speaker B: Uh, oh, yes, I have.
• 56:21
  >> Hunter Hoover: Oh, did you do it in Santa
• 56:24
  shower alle?
• 56:26
  >> Speaker B: Yes, I did.
• 56:27
  >> Hunter Hoover: Oh, you.
• 56:28
  >> Speaker B: That's no, allegedly, it's like a power move.
• 56:31
  >> Hunter Hoover: Huh? Huh?
• 56:32
  >> Speaker B: It was the biggest thing I've ever done.
• 56:34
  >> Hunter Hoover: Yeah, that's brave.
• 56:35
  >> Speaker B: And I think I left a little bit on the drain.
• 56:38
  >> Hunter Hoover: Oh, shoot. Think you think Mrs. K. Claus
• 56:41
  saw?
• 56:41
  >> Speaker B: I don't think this is clau saw it.
• 56:45
  I think Santa saw it.
• 56:46
  >> Hunter Hoover: Is that part of this is. Is this like
• 56:49
  revenge?
• 56:49
  >> Speaker B: I don't know if he knows it was me.
• 56:51
  >> Hunter Hoover: Oh, we could blame Phil.
• 56:54
  >> Speaker B: We could blame Phil.
• 56:57
  >> Hunter Hoover: Phil McCraken did it. Um, um,
• 57:00
  man. Yeah, that's not a bad ideam.
• 57:02
  Um, do I do wonder, do you ever there
• 57:05
  the bathroom? Like, do you take any snacks in the shower or
• 57:08
  bathroom when you go? Are you allowed to have food in the
• 57:11
  North Pole bathroom?
• 57:12
  >> Speaker B: Um, yes, but, like, most of
• 57:15
  the times like, for us elves, we don't
• 57:18
  get the good cookies.
• 57:19
  >> Hunter Hoover: Oh, shoot. Really? Do you guys get, like, the extra
• 57:21
  leavings?
• 57:22
  >> Speaker B: No, we get like, sugar cookies.
• 57:24
  >> Hunter Hoover: More times than not, it's like, almost.
• 57:27
  >> Speaker B: So if I go
• 57:29
  and take it into the shower, I'm afraid it's gonna, like, dis.
• 57:33
  >> Hunter Hoover: Yeah, yeah. Shoot.
• 57:35
  >> Speaker B: Or break apartuse. It's just sugar and
• 57:38
  flour.
• 57:39
  >> Hunter Hoover: I just had a terrible, terrible thought.
• 57:43
  Are they using Santa's sweat to sweeten,
• 57:46
  like, everything at the North Pole?
• 57:49
  >> Speaker B: I think that's a possibility.
• 57:52
  >> Hunter Hoover: It's sweat. Gate 2024. We're gonna have
• 57:55
  to.
• 57:56
  >> Speaker B: If you viewers were able to see my face, my jaw
• 57:59
  just dropped because
• 58:02
  I have seen vials.
• 58:04
  >> Hunter Hoover: Yeah. Oh, it's
• 58:07
  like Santa sweat. It's essence
• 58:10
  of Santa.
• 58:11
  >> Speaker B: I think so.
• 58:12
  >> Hunter Hoover: That's wild. That. Ugh. Uh,
• 58:15
  Mrs. Claus, you gotta stop.
• 58:18
  Um, well, Dingle,
• 58:21
  I'm glad you came. I don't feel like I
• 58:23
  helped you.
• 58:25
  >> Speaker B: Um, it's okay. I just know
• 58:28
  if we do unionize, I would ask for
• 58:31
  you to possibly be like,
• 58:34
  president or vice president. Maybe
• 58:39
  you don't have to be at the North Pole.
• 58:41
  >> Hunter Hoover: Oh, um. I think VP is a good spot
• 58:44
  for me. Feel like, um. I feel like I
• 58:47
  was president. I'm gonna have to involve myself with
• 58:49
  Santa in a way that I can't commit too.
• 58:53
  Um, but I think VP is a good spot.
• 58:57
  I really think that Jack Frost might be a good president.
• 59:00
  Like, he's already got that vested
• 59:03
  interest to.
• 59:04
  >> Speaker B: But how can we get him back?
• 59:06
  >> Hunter Hoover: I don't know. I don't know. Maybe
• 59:09
  that's what I'll work on this year. I'll have to figure something out.
• 59:14
  In my luck, Jack Frost is gonna pop
• 59:17
  up next year and we'll see what we can do.
• 59:19
  >> Speaker B: Please. And if I need to be in here for a
• 59:22
  meeting?
• 59:22
  >> Hunter Hoover: Oh, man. Classic three way in
• 59:25
  the school bathroom.
• 59:28
  >> Speaker B: Pause.
• 59:31
  >> Hunter Hoover: Um, well, Dingle, we'll see what we can do.
• 59:34
  I really appreciate you. You coming down from the North
• 59:37
  Pole and, uh, just sharing your
• 59:40
  story. Do you want to leave the listener with
• 59:43
  any bathroom wisdom for from the North Pole? Or maybe just,
• 59:46
  you know, air your grievance however you want toa leave
• 59:49
  people with this.
• 59:50
  >> Speaker B: The biggest thing is if you're ever going to
• 59:53
  use the restroom and you know, there are plenty of people
• 59:56
  in there. Take the
• 59:58
  poopurri.
• 1:00:00
  >> Hunter Hoover: Oh, yeah. Do you guys have,
• 1:00:02
  like, mint, like, peppermint poopery up there?
• 1:00:05
  Pepper me peppery.
• 1:00:06
  >> Speaker B: Wait, we actually use the honey one more?
• 1:00:09
  >> Hunter Hoover: More than that Honey. Wow.
• 1:00:12
  Hmm. M. Have you ever tried? Now this is I've never
• 1:00:15
  done this, but I have thought about doing it. You've introduced
• 1:00:18
  a topic. Poop pori might be something we need
• 1:00:21
  to discuss on the show one day. But, uh, have you ever thought about,
• 1:00:24
  like taking that thing right to the source and
• 1:00:26
  deodorizing the whole itself
• 1:00:30
  prior to the job?
• 1:00:33
  >> Speaker B: That actually might be something that I might
• 1:00:36
  try.
• 1:00:37
  >> Hunter Hoover: Right.
• 1:00:38
  >> Speaker B: And I just. I'm afraid there
• 1:00:41
  might be a chemical reaction
• 1:00:44
  it.
• 1:00:44
  >> Hunter Hoover: Could you hit Santa with it? You know how sometimes
• 1:00:47
  like they wash your car and they like, will hit it with like a smell
• 1:00:50
  goody. I don't know why they do that, but maybe you could hit like Santa with uh,
• 1:00:53
  that like after. After spray
• 1:00:56
  just in right up in.
• 1:00:58
  >> Speaker B: Them yoga balls and
• 1:01:01
  accidentally telling I sneezed. Yeah.
• 1:01:03
  >> Hunter Hoover: Oh, yeah.
• 1:01:03
  >> Speaker B: Out.
• 1:01:04
  >> Hunter Hoover: Yeah, that could be good. Helps with the
• 1:01:07
  smell.
• 1:01:07
  >> Speaker B: True.
• 1:01:08
  >> Hunter Hoover: Mrs. Claus probably be into it.
• 1:01:10
  >> Speaker B: Mrs. Claus would probably.
• 1:01:12
  >> Hunter Hoover: Rudolph's probably into it.
• 1:01:14
  >> Speaker B: Rudolph know might go redd if we do
• 1:01:17
  that.
• 1:01:18
  >> Hunter Hoover: Rudolph. Well, dingle, I appreciate you being
• 1:01:20
  herena. Um, I'm gonna. So every time
• 1:01:23
  I end an episode, I guess we'll get to the holiday
• 1:01:26
  the hoovie's holiday treat list next year.
• 1:01:30
  Don't worry, it hasn't changed. Um, but I
• 1:01:33
  always have to end the episode. So, um, I guess
• 1:01:36
  there's nothing I to ll say but like thanks for being here and,
• 1:01:38
  um, yeah, keep pooping in the free world.
• 1:01:41
  Uh, don't be afraid to unionize your elves.
• 1:01:44
  And I, um, guess take the poopur straight to the bee
• 1:01:47
  hole. Just give it a shot. It's worth
• 1:01:49
  anything's worth trying once. I suppose that'll do for another
• 1:01:52
  episode of Privy. And now,
• 1:01:55
  as always, don't forget to flush
• 1:02:04
  the toilet.
• 1:02:11
  That was a good flash.