Latest / Privycast / Ep. 144 Prison Toilets feat. Glock Dookie

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Ep. 144 Prison Toilets feat. Glock Dookie · Privycast

0:01
>> Hunter Hoover: You know, dirk's a turd. He probably
0:04
vapes. He probably vapes in the bathroom and
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doesn't respect his mom like an idiot.
0:14
Welcome back to privy. Privy is
0:17
a podcast about bathrooms
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recorded in my home
0:22
bathroom. I'm your host, hunter
0:25
Hoover, and I love bathrooms.
0:27
Welcome back, everyone. It's strange,
0:30
uh, if you're hearing this, it's only. It's been
0:33
the same normal amount of time since I last
0:36
was here with you on the podcast, but it has been
0:39
well over a month. I had a little peek behind the curtain. I
0:42
had a little bit of stuff banked, and I have started
0:45
back at the high school. Um, and
0:47
my banked episodes are now gone.
0:50
So, um, here I am, late night. Not
0:53
super late, but late for me. I am an old man.
0:56
Um, late night record, uh, just
0:59
to get caught up here and get
1:01
back into the swing of things. The good news
1:04
is that we are well on our way out
1:07
of the heat. The awfulness that has
1:10
been the heat of summer. The trees are starting to turn a
1:13
little bit red. The pumpkin spice
1:16
is back in stock and in
1:19
season, and things are looking
1:22
up for fall consequences of
1:24
pumpkin spice. It seems to have gotten
1:27
more expensive, as did everything. And also,
1:30
pumpkin spice, when it is. When it is in the
1:33
form of coffee, seems to just fly
1:36
through me at a rate that. I mean,
1:39
coffee does that, but the pumpkin
1:42
spice variant seems to fly through me at a rate that
1:45
is. That is unique to pumpkin spice. I don't know
1:48
if the pun. If it's the pumpkin or the spice, I'm gonna blame
1:51
the vegetable, as I usually do. Uh,
1:53
but, yeah, it just seems to really cruise right through me.
1:56
And. And now, you know, more than. Than you
1:59
ever hoped or. Or could ever possibly
2:02
dream to know about pumpkin spices
2:05
effect on my. I would
2:08
say gut health. Um, yeah, gut health
2:11
is good. Or gutted. Gut
2:14
unhealth, depending on how you look at it.
2:17
As I said, I'm back to work at the high school,
2:19
and, um, one of the things.
2:22
And the bathroom calls have already been happening.
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I was but two weeks in, and I'm standing in the hallway,
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and a girl comes out of the bathroom, and she tells me that, um,
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there's blood everywhere. And I'm like, first of
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all, I used to be a janitor. So, like,
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I know I have that, like, this guy has seen some
2:39
stuff in the bathroom look. But, like,
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I'm sitting here thinking, like, as a young lady,
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I would have wanted to tell anybody but a male
2:49
adult about any sort of blood in the
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women's bathroom. Like, that's just in my
2:54
brain. I would not want to cross
2:57
that. But, man, she had no, she had no problem
3:00
letting me know. I get on the horn to the, to the
3:03
custodian, like, hey, um, hate to be this
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guy, and I bet you're wondering why this radio
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call is coming from, again, adult male. Um, but
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yeah, there's report of blood in the, in the girl's bathroom.
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It's just this, it's just this crap that, like,
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I'm almost thinking, like, go find a female
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trusted adult and tell them about the blood.
3:23
But happy fall.
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One of my coworkers at the high school, um, she often
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says something that, that
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rings very true, and that is, is
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that this, this coworker, she doesn't like to go to the
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bathroom in front of people, which is a fair, which is a fair
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thing. Um, to not like. It's not that I don't like, it's
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not that I like going to the bathroom in front of people. I
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just. I'm kind of agnostic on that point. Like,
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I'm. I'm kind of bathroom fluid, if you will. I'll,
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I'll go to the bathroom if there's people in the bathroom, if there's people
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outside the bathroom, if the stall doors open,
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it's really all the same. Uh, the experience
4:00
is, I guess it's a little different. Most people are more afraid of
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you than you are of them. If you don't shut the stall door, is what I
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found. But she doesn't like to go to the bathroom in front of
4:08
people. And she has remarked that that fear of
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having to use the restroom in front of people you do
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nothing know is what has kept her
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out of prison. Now, the us
4:20
prison system has fallen under
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much scrutiny. Some at the
4:26
criticism of bad premises, that the
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prison system fails to do what it is supposed to
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do, um, which seems to say that there aren't really
4:35
any real crimes and people are just the product
4:38
of their circumstance, la deda, so forth and
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so on. Prisons, however, do serve a
4:43
purpose. Um,
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some have questioned the purpose of prisons. Do
4:49
they do what that purpose is? Um,
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the idea was that they were to reform people and give a
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chance to, uh, uh,
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perhaps come out of prison better than they went in,
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I think was one of the desires and goals.
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But others have questioned how effective
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is prison? We here on
5:09
privy desire and plan
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to tackle none of those problems this
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week. Rather, if you do the
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crime, you do the time, but while
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you do the time, you will have access to a
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toilet. And this week on privy we're
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talking all about that access
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as we dive into the world of
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prison bathrooms. Prison toilets.
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If you're listening to this episode from a
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prison bathroom, I don't know if you're allowed to send
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emails, um,
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but email us. Privycastmail.com
5:52
um, the idea of prison bathrooms and where
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you would go if you went to jail.
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Uh, prisons prior to the
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18 hundreds were less about
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changing those who had done wrong and reforming
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them. That's where this idea of reformatories comes in.
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But the prison system prior to the 18 hundreds
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was really less concerned, um, with
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that. Rather, it was more
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about holding the person in prison
6:20
and in jail until they were either
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sentenced to their full punishment, killed,
6:26
or removed to some other
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place that, you know, who knows where they end up?
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It's difficult to say. You know, back then,
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there wasn't this big push to really keep
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track of where everything was and where everyone was.
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But it wasn't until there was a shift in
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seeing what changes prison
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or penitentiaries could make in a person,
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whether they could make them penitent
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penitentiaries. Um,
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and for a lot of the history of prisons, it wasn't
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until those changes took place that the
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idea of where they went to the bathroom was of a chief
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concern for a lot of history
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and a lot of the history of prisons. Uh,
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your toilet was often a plastic
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bucket placed in your room to be used
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for all of your functions, top, top, bottom,
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and bottom, round two. And that bucket would be emptied
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once per day. And that was in the good situations.
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There were some situations in those
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pre prison era prisons where you
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were expected to skeet it in the corner, you have to establish
7:34
a pea corner. Dwight Schrute taught us that.
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Um, but it is reported
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that the American Bar association
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states that those under
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incarceration, so those who have been incarcerated
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have the right to regular access
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to public bathroom amenities at any
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time. And those public
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bathroom amenities must be
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reasonably clean, have reasonable
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function, and have a minor level of
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privacy under the 8th amendment of the
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constitution, um, barring
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the use of cruel and unusual punishment.
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So, in other words,
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in time,
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as the prison systems have changed, so too
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have the laws, uh, that
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surround and the rights that the people in those
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systems have. Now,
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we're not here to make an argument about whether or
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not those rights should exist and to what extent.
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Rather, we are reporting what is the
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history of prison toilet. One of the
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solutions they have undergone in
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many prison facilities where there are sufficient funds
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to do so, um, is they have just opted
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to put, like,
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open faced toilets. Toilets in
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each cell. Well, not open face. That's a different situation. We're gonna get to
9:01
that. But, like, toilets in each cell, for
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individual inmates to have their own toilet.
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Now, this makes prison
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facilities legally abiding with that bar
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associations ruling about toilets. But in a
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world where prison inmates love
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being in their cell, because my understanding is, is when
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you tell a person, hey, you need to sit in this box and you're not allowed
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to leave, nine times out of ten, they really enjoy it.
9:27
Right? Like, they're. They're super happy about that.
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No. Um, um. For the audio only
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viewer, you didn't see my. My stupid face,
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but no, they don't.
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And these toilets, you would then
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presume, would be a source of relief to the inmates
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and those guarding them. All parties involved have
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a place to drop a stack. But prison
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toilets end up being
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the source of much trouble and frustration
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to the prison staff, especially
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in these individual cell toilets known as
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wet cells. Wet
10:04
cells. Speaking of wet.
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Yeah.
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Oh, it's got a grip and
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rip. We gotta keep things moist here on the show,
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you know, just keep it real damp.
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But wet cells often come equipped.
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Wet cells sounds bad, by the way. Wet cells
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often come equipped with a toilet and
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a sink, which both share a
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water line in some way. Um, usually
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these toilets and sinks are often made from stainless
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steel. Think, uh, about, like,
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parks and recreation bathrooms if you've ever been to,
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like, a park or a campsite, that. That
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stainless steel vibe. Yeah, they do it for a
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reason. As was noted, many prisoners
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don't like to be in prison. Get
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it? I know it's weird, but as
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a way to get a break from their cell, these wet
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cells, they would clog the toilet, make it
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back up or flood into their cell. So then they would have
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to be removed from their cell while it
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is being cleaned. In situations where maybe
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they share a cell with a cellmate,
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this is done sometimes to get back at the
11:16
cellmate or to get away from the cellmate for some
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time. It's really a roll of the dice,
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though. I think prisons should have a set of
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rooms that are just slightly less comfortable
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than the regular cells, where the inmate will have
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to live until they can correct the problem they've
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caused. Like, if you. If you
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jam, like, pillowcase after pillowcase and. And
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you're just wadding toilet paper all up into
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that. All up into that toilet, and you just jam pack
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that g just like Bink
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and it's just stuffed full,
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and then you flood your
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cell, you should not get what you want
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like, put them in a slightly less comfortable
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cell while it's cleaned. Not permanent. It's just a holding
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pattern. Um, and maybe they'll do it less
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often. I don't know. That's just my thought.
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But as a way to get a break, they'll sometimes do
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this. Um, and
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this doesn't always work. In some prisons, they have
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begun using a vacuum plumbing system,
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which we're going to be discussing a little bit as a solution to these
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problems. Another problem
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with prison, uh, toilets is
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the overuse of water.
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It's estimated that inmates flush their
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toilet anywhere between 35 and 65
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times a day. Now, it is not that they are dropping
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that many piles. Rather, it
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seems that
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this act of flushing the toilet is an
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act. It's something they can control about their
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surroundings. Um, it's also like, I
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imagine you get bored of, and if you're bored, you're going to
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look to all sorts of things to entertain yourself.
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And for many inmates, flushing the toilet is one of the
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things that gives them some sort of feedback.
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Prison toilets are constructed, as I noted, out of this stainless
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steel, often to cut down on vandalism.
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If you bust up a porcelain toilet, you're going
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to have shards of porcelain that could
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very well be used as a weapon. And as you can
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guess, the toilets cause problems in
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more ways than just clogging. Prison
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bathrooms, much like bathrooms
13:30
literally everywhere on in the universe,
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can be a means of disposing of all sorts
13:37
of types of things. I've told the story on the pod before
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about how I had to, like, scissor
13:43
a diaper, uh, out of an s bend of the
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toilet. People will flush all sorts of
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nonsense, crappy shreds, you know,
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toilet paper, sometimes feminine hygiene products don't do
13:54
that. Wipes evidence in
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contraband. When you're getting ready to be searched,
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can be flushed down prison toilets.
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Prisoners with access to toilets
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have access to the means by which they can flush
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evidence or other contraband down those toilets. Now,
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I'm not saying that prisoners should not have access to toilets. They
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absolutely need a place to drop a stack.
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But the truly sneaky of them who have come
14:19
by some sort of string, could even tie it off
14:22
in some way, flush it, and then retrieve the
14:24
contraband later. In some prison
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toilet systems, prisoners, uh, can actually
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send messages to one another via the
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prison toilets. One simple way is to
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empty out the water from the toilet, like the
14:38
bowl itself. Um,
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and then you can kind of talk
14:44
into the toilet,
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uh, whose water has been
14:48
emptied that shares a
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main plumbing line with yours. You know, those, like,
14:54
weird, like, playground message
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tubes with the cones at the end of it.
15:00
And the yellow jackets love to nest
15:03
in those cones. Um, and then you go
15:06
up, and then you, like, stick your face up to it and you shout into
15:09
the cone, praying to God in heaven
15:12
that the yellow jackets don't fly out at your face. Um,
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and so that way, your friend, who is 30ft away,
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who, by the way, obviously just heard what you said because
15:21
you're 30ft away and you screamed it, um,
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can pretend like he didn't hear you outside the
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comb, but he heard it through the
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comb. Um, and then you stick your ear up to
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it again. See? Yellowjacket comment from
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before. And then he pretends to, like,
15:37
scream into the cone. Well, this
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toilet phoning like thing is kind of like that,
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except for you're shouting into your toilet
15:45
bowl. They can also pass things to each
15:48
other using this, this emptying the toilet bowl
15:51
method. Um, it's called
15:54
toilet fishing. Instead of catching
15:56
fish, however, or passing turds,
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inmates will attach pieces of paper or other
16:02
material to a string called kites and
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flush them down the pipe to the person
16:08
down the plumbing line to receive them.
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It is noted some inmates have been known to
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pass drugs, weapons, and food in this way. And you might be
16:17
hearing this and thinking, how do they catch it?
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I get the one guy passing it, but how does the next guy get
16:24
it? The inmate receiving the items will
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shove a bit of bedding and clothing down into the toilet,
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clogging it. And when the sending inmate passes
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by, when it runs through the system, because it's
16:36
like a connected line, it gets caught and then they
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just pull it up through with the clothing.
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Apparently this is evidenced in a Netflix
16:45
drama called jailbirds not seen. It probably won't.
16:48
Too much tv to watch,
16:50
and I just don't care. But the
16:53
inmates in this, who are also
16:56
somehow contestants. Reality tv is weird, but
16:59
it makes you really question the quality of prison systems here in
17:02
the US. I'm just saying. But. But these inmates on the
17:04
show will actually try to date each
17:07
other. Like they're going on.
17:10
Like they're sending each other like
17:12
salacious toilet
17:15
kites through their various correspondence,
17:18
sent through these pooper pipes. It's a wild
17:21
world that they live in, but
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it's wild beyond belief.
17:26
Prisonmingle.com TMTM
17:28
TMTM Other, perhaps less
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nefarious uses for the prison
17:34
toilet include cooking, unsanctioned, um,
17:37
food, or food purchases from
17:40
the commissary or otherwise. Many of these
17:42
concoctions scream of
17:45
an incarcerated witch's brew. They're a mix of a
17:48
lot of things together. Whatever you can get, toss
17:51
it in. There's many famous
17:54
prison toilet bowl recipes. One
17:56
famous toilet bowl recipe is to make prison
17:59
wine. Toilet wine. Um, or as it's
18:02
called, prison hooch.
18:05
Colloquially, it's known as pruno. One
18:08
famous recipe for pruno calls for a one gallon
18:10
plastic bag, ten oranges, 8oz of fruit
18:13
cocktail, some sugar cubes, six teaspoons of ketchup,
18:16
and a towel. I want to note
18:19
the trash bag in this recipe is used
18:22
in place of the toilet bowl. Nothing
18:25
like mixing up a batch of prison hooch in your toilet
18:28
bowl. Maybe something we need to try
18:31
sometime. Stay tuned.
18:34
Some inmates will do their laundry in the toilet if they
18:37
don't want to wait until laundry day, or
18:40
they're cooking to freshen things. Uh, or they're
18:43
looking to freshen things up. Perhaps one of their
18:45
toilet note passing dates. Uh, meet
18:48
me at yard time. You know what I'm saying? It is
18:51
fascinating. Yeah, it's weird.
18:54
Others might use their toilet to stay
18:56
cool, the water in the bowl being
18:59
cooler, often dunking their head in it.
19:04
It's a tough look. It's a tough look. They'll
19:07
use this cooling ability to chill their milk. They'll put
19:10
things that they want to keep cooler down in the toilet
19:12
water. You got to do what a baby's got to do. What
19:15
a baby's got to do. There's a number of
19:18
problems surrounding prison
19:21
toilets, and we've noted that. But before
19:24
we look at some of these problems and maybe some
19:27
possible solutions, um, it is
19:30
important, I want to share a few
19:32
bathroom related prison
19:35
slang as it relates to bathrooms.
19:37
So, some prison bathroom slang
19:41
includes the term porcelain
19:44
termite. A porcelain termite is a
19:47
prisoner who breaks their toilet or sink
19:51
when they get angry. Not m sure where this
19:54
one comes from, but the name is outdated, as prisons have
19:57
pretty much gone away from porcelain. So this one's
19:59
probably not used too often anymore.
20:02
Another one is the term roadkill. Roadkill
20:05
refers to cigarette butts picked up by the side of
20:08
the road by prison work crews. They're brought back to the
20:11
facility, and the collected tobacco
20:14
is re rolled with toilet paper, thus, uh, creating your own
20:17
tobacco cigarettes. So, that's fun.
20:20
That, my friend, is the face of addiction,
20:22
and I'm the weirdo, uh, for snitching coffee out of the trash. In
20:25
college, time to feed the
20:28
warden is another way of
20:30
saying that you need to go to the bathroom. Well, it's time to
20:33
feed the warden. I'm not really sure where this comes from.
20:36
It seems just mean another one.
20:40
And this is going to transition us into some,
20:43
some bigger concerns as it relates to bathrooms. Is the
20:46
term Glock dookie. Glock dookie is
20:48
just foul. Um, and it's related to other
20:51
very, very nefarious activities
20:54
related to control and using what you
20:56
have, um, to assault or
20:59
get back at people. One common occurrence in
21:02
jail is other inmates
21:05
throwing or using their bodily fluids to
21:08
assault other inmates guards or
21:11
as a means of intimidation or power tactics.
21:14
To my coworker, who says
21:17
that their fear of going to the bathroom in front of other people is what
21:20
keeps them out of prison,
21:23
I get that fear. But for me, the aspect
21:25
of prison which would be much worse
21:28
is just people slinging skeet at
21:31
you or projectile urinating on
21:34
you in an attack, or to get something from you that's just
21:37
like, that's just awful. It's
21:39
wild. But one invention that has been
21:42
circling the Internet, um, and I believe it surfaced
21:45
as there was this podcaster that was sharing about his
21:48
time in prison, is a term called a Glock dookie. Now,
21:51
a Glock dookie is essentially a water bottle
21:54
or other container filled slightly with
21:57
water. And then you poop, pee,
21:59
whatever into the water bottle. Likely or, um,
22:02
is likely the case. My turret is usually bigger
22:05
than the top of a water bottle. And so, like,
22:08
it's hard to imagine
22:12
how you don't interface with the turd
22:14
first to get it into the standard size water
22:17
bottle. It's not worth thinking about. Maybe you got little sky,
22:20
tiny, little skinny little pencil turds. Let us
22:23
know. Privy castmail.com.
22:26
but you get the turds down into the water bottle,
22:29
mix it up with all of the other wet that you got in there, and really
22:32
shake that guy. And
22:35
then you just like, walk up to the person and
22:38
it sprays out the stank juice inside.
22:41
It shoots, hitting them in the face. It's wildly gross.
22:44
It is assault. And with all these, it's just
22:47
bad and disgusting. And with all these challenges
22:50
posed by prison bathrooms and prison toilets, there
22:53
needs to be something done to cut down on the nefarious
22:56
deeds that can and often are done
22:58
there.
23:03
It should be noted
23:07
there are other, often less
23:09
security prisons where it is standard to have the
23:12
toilets centrally located
23:15
for all of the inmates to go out and use
23:18
them, along with showers so the inmates can be tracked
23:20
coming and going by the guard on post.
23:23
But one method many prisons are turning to
23:27
to help cut down on shady bathroom
23:30
deeds is the use of vacuum centers
23:34
to help power the water supply and plumbing
23:37
of prison bathrooms. The way that these
23:39
vacuum centers works is this.
23:42
The interface of atmospheric pressure
23:45
at the point of the toilet bowl and
23:48
a constant vacuum pressure in the waste piping
23:51
network provides a highly efficient
23:54
flush. So, pretty much think of it as,
23:57
like, when you flush the toilet,
24:00
there is a vacuum that sucks
24:03
it out. It's just like. It's really got a whole Luigi's
24:06
mansion vacuum backpack vibe on those
24:08
turds. Um, but because of the
24:11
suction power of the turd vacuum
24:14
toilets, it uses only about half a gallon of
24:17
water, which is great. When the push button's
24:19
activated, the extraction valve opens.
24:22
Think like, camper bathroom toilets, they got a little
24:25
extraction thing, allowing atmospheric pressure to push
24:28
the waste into the vacuum piping and towards
24:31
the vacuum center. A water valve is also
24:34
activated, allowing the toilet to be rinsed and
24:36
refilled as a result. So, by using less water and
24:39
implementing that suction,
24:42
they can help clear the poop from the bowl more
24:45
efficiently, and, ah, as often the case,
24:47
quicker. The nice part about these systems
24:50
is when they are used appropriately, is
24:53
you can shut vacuums off to inmates cell
24:56
toilets. Individual like, oh, block 13
24:59
is getting searched. The toilet suction to block
25:02
13 is shut off. This is useful if you believe
25:05
there's contraband. You can shut the toilet
25:08
flush off, and then they
25:11
can't flush their toilet and get rid of the contraband
25:13
that is believed to be there. It's an interesting thing.
25:16
Likewise, much like a parent taking their teens phone so
25:19
they can't talk to their loser boyfriend, Dirk, they
25:22
kiboshed prison pipe dating.
25:26
You can't date through the pipe. And, you know, Dirk's a piece
25:29
of crap. You know, Dirk's a
25:31
turd. He probably vapes.
25:34
He probably vapes in the bathroom and doesn't respect his
25:37
mom. M like an idiot.
25:40
But these vacuum centers are pretty
25:42
useful. As noted, another technology
25:45
to decrease misuse is stainless
25:48
steel toilets and centrally located showers and bathrooms. We've
25:50
discussed this, and these things cut down on many of the
25:53
bathroom problems. But these guard controlled
25:56
toilets have been the discussion of another concern
25:59
in prisons and prison bathrooms,
26:02
because it's reported, and I imagine it is
26:05
happening, that the guards will shut off
26:08
inmates toilets as punishment or simply just
26:10
to mess with the prisoners. And while it is
26:13
reasonable to be able to shut off the water for limited
26:16
amounts of time, moving inmates searches, et
26:19
cetera, the American Bar association,
26:22
as we stated at the beginning of the episode, has
26:24
noted, um, that
26:27
they need access to clean,
26:30
um, water working
26:33
toilets. And so there's an ongoing
26:36
discussion about how long the inmate
26:38
can be kept in their cell with the water
26:41
off. In fact, in many
26:44
circles, when this is kept off for too long, it's
26:47
viewed and likely is a form of torture.
26:49
It's removing a reasonable,
26:52
reasonably expected and regular. Right
26:55
now, I understand that there's an argument
26:58
that's like, well, the person's in prison.
27:01
And I understand like, people do stuff that's wrong. And I'm not here to
27:03
like weigh in on whether or not I think that
27:06
they should be able to do this. I'm just telling you that there is an argument
27:09
on both sides that about for
27:12
and against these vacuum center
27:15
toilets. The other thing to remember
27:18
is prisons have changed so
27:20
much. What was once a bucket and
27:23
maybe even just a peek corner and something that was
27:26
viewed as a privilege and a courtesy has
27:29
now turned into the right,
27:32
the right to running and flushable water
27:35
for long periods, if not all periods of
27:38
time. Prison toilets are
27:41
weird. They're wild. Who knows what's going on. Apparently
27:44
we're dating each other through the toilet and I
27:46
pray that no privy listener makes their way to prison.
27:49
If you're in prison hearing this again, write to us. We'd love to hear from
27:52
you. Privycastmail.com. we'd love to get your
27:55
perspective, share your perspective on the toilets that you experience
27:58
there. But this is going to bring us
28:00
to the end of another episode of Privy. Thank you so
28:03
much for joining us. Um, thank you for being here.
28:06
As always. Leave us a rating, a review.
28:09
The five star option is our preferred and every review
28:12
left on Apple Podcasts and Spotify podcasts.
28:15
We will donate a, uh, dollar to the wounded warriors and living
28:18
water international, reminding you to keep pooping in the free world.
28:21
And that free world was not always free and some parts of it
28:24
are less free than others and don't have safe water.
28:27
Rating and review a reminder, we do have a sticker
28:30
shop. Um, it's very limited in that
28:33
when I'm out I will have to make more, but, um, you can
28:36
check that out at privy
28:39
dash, cast.com, at our website and at the top there
28:42
should be a link that will take you to the Google form to fill
28:45
out. I will admit it's a little clunky, um,
28:47
but in an attempt to, um,
28:51
see if there is interest, this is how we're doing it.
28:54
Uh, I want to thank Kevin McLeod and Poddington bear for
28:57
the use of their music this week. Thanks Kevin and Poddington. You
29:00
can check Kevin and Poddington's music out links in the
29:03
description below. This has been another episode of
29:05
Privy. Thank you so much for being here. Follow us on social at
29:08
privycast. Keep pooping in the free world. Own your
29:10
stank. Avoid the Glock dookie. And now,
29:14
as always, don't forget
29:17
to flush.