Latest / The You Project / #2216 Identity - Bobby Cappuccio

Transcript

#2216 Identity - Bobby Cappuccio · The You Project

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: G'day team. It's a podcast. That is you, the TYP,
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: of course, Tiffany Ann Cook, Robert Joseph Capuccio, Craig Anthony
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: Harper every two weeks or thereabouts. Oh, every week. Is
• 0:11
  Speaker 1: it week? It is week. Every week we get together
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: and do this, I should probably know. We've just been
• 0:17
  Speaker 1: having a minor argument before we went live. I'll tell
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: you what the argument was about. The argument was about
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: the fact that Bobby wants to ask questions and steer
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: the show a bit at times, which he is welcome to,
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: as is Tiff. Then when I say, mate, let's make
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: this a conversation, not an interview, and I go, today's
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: your day to shine, he asks fucking zero questions. Then
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: we get post-show and he sends me a message saying,
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: I thought I was going to ask questions. And I say,
• 0:49
  Speaker 1: me too. But you didn't. So today's your time to shine, Bobby.
• 0:55
  Speaker 2: Well, here's a question then. I come over your house,
• 1:03
  Speaker 2: Casa de la Hopper.
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 1:06
  Speaker 2: A beautiful, beautiful place for a little soiree, which I've
• 1:09
  Speaker 2: done on quite a few occasions. And I say to you, Craig, hey, mate,
• 1:15
  Speaker 2: you got some water?
• 1:17
  Speaker 1: I'm a bit thirsty.
• 1:20
  Speaker 2: Any problem with that? What are your thoughts on this
• 1:23
  Speaker 2: interaction so far?
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: See, I feel you're making something very simple, complicated right now.
• 1:30
  Speaker 2: No, no, I'm just saying, just saying, what are your
• 1:32
  Speaker 2: thoughts so far?
• 1:33
  Speaker 1: It's a question. I'm asking a question. Sure, Bobby, you
• 1:35
  Speaker 1: can have some water. Let me just get a glass
• 1:38
  Speaker 1: and I'll head over to the fridge and get you
• 1:40
  Speaker 1: some cold water. That's lovely of you.
• 1:44
  Speaker 2: Thanks, mate. Now, scenario number two, I just rock up
• 1:48
  Speaker 2: into your house. I open up the fridge and I
• 1:51
  Speaker 2: just start looking around. I move things around.
• 1:54
  Speaker 1: I grab a hold.
• 1:54
  Speaker 2: Next thing you know, I turn around. I got a
• 1:57
  Speaker 2: chicken hanging out of my mouth. What are your thoughts
• 1:59
  Speaker 2: about that?
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: Worst analogy ever. Move on.
• 2:03
  Speaker 2: You just don't walk. You just don't come into someone's
• 2:05
  Speaker 2: kitchen and start eating their chicken.
• 2:08
  Speaker 1: See, I feel like a podcast is a different thing,
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: both literally and conceptually.
• 2:14
  Speaker 2: For chicken, yeah, but the analogy works. There's a certain etiquette.
• 2:22
  Speaker 2: I'm your guest, mate. You are the maestro of this band.
• 2:28
  Speaker 1: You are definitely not my guest. We do a show
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: every week. You are definitely the co-host of the show. Oh, no,
• 2:35
  Speaker 1: I told you that. I got a guy on yesterday
• 2:38
  Speaker 1: called Christian O'Connell from Gold FM. We've never met. He
• 2:42
  Speaker 1: was a guest. And even then I said, mate, let's
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: have a chat. Let's don't do an interview. But so
• 2:49
  Speaker 1: what are you telling me? Are you telling me you
• 2:51
  Speaker 1: don't want to co-host? You want me to ask you
• 2:54
  Speaker 1: all the questions? Is that what you're telling me?
• 2:57
  Speaker 2: Yes, I'm lazy and I'm taking zero responsibility. No, what
• 3:01
  Speaker 2: I'm saying is if I'm co-hosting, I want to talk
• 3:04
  Speaker 2: about Dolly.
• 3:06
  Speaker 3: All right.
• 3:07
  Speaker 1: Well, there you go. There you go. That's fine. He
• 3:09
  Speaker 1: said before the show, everyone, I want to talk about
• 3:11
  Speaker 1: Dolly Parton. I said, I think it's been overdone. But
• 3:14
  Speaker 1: then he protested and I'm like, all right, if you
• 3:17
  Speaker 1: feel passionate about it, let's talk. See, this is what
• 3:22
  Speaker 1: I have to deal with, everyone. It's like trying to
• 3:24
  Speaker 1: fucking herd cats. It's just.
• 3:28
  Speaker 1: It's just, oh, God. But it's beautiful and exhausting. So
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: you told us before we went live that you literally
• 3:36
  Speaker 1: cried last night. So we're recording this Thursday morning in
• 3:42
  Speaker 1: Melbourne time, and Dolly died, I think, yesterday morning Melbourne time.
• 3:49
  Speaker 1: What was your affinity with Dolly Parton? Why did you
• 3:51
  Speaker 1: love her so much?
• 3:53
  Speaker 2: Because I thought she was awesome. an original who was
• 3:57
  Speaker 2: unapologetically herself. And the byproduct of being unapologetically Dolly Parton
• 4:06
  Speaker 2: was generosity, compassion, originality, and just a larger-than-life persona that
• 4:16
  Speaker 2: was incidental. She wasn't trying to be that. She couldn't
• 4:19
  Speaker 2: help but be that. And last night when I was
• 4:23
  Speaker 2: thinking about, you know, cause she's in, in the U
• 4:26
  Speaker 2: S arguably one of the most recognizable performers and figures
• 4:31
  Speaker 2: in music and in a lot of places around the
• 4:34
  Speaker 2: world as well. And, you know, she grew up in
• 4:37
  Speaker 2: a one room cabin, like abject poverty. And she had
• 4:42
  Speaker 2: something like she has accomplished so much, not only through
• 4:47
  Speaker 2: Acting and.
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: Performing, but songwriting. She's a masterful songwriter.
• 4:53
  Speaker 2: And all of those things are only the second best
• 4:57
  Speaker 2: thing she's known for. That's not even what she's known for.
• 5:01
  Speaker 2: What she's known for is her humanity. And her love
• 5:06
  Speaker 2: and how she made people feel. Think about that. We're
• 5:10
  Speaker 2: in a society that has this thing with celebrity, whether
• 5:14
  Speaker 2: it's hatred or whether it's an affinity. We're kind of
• 5:17
  Speaker 2: obsessed with it. And her celebrity wasn't even the thing
• 5:20
  Speaker 2: that she was famous for. One of the most recognizable
• 5:23
  Speaker 2: celebrities in the world. She's recognized as being someone who
• 5:27
  Speaker 2: epitomizes the best in us.
• 5:29
  Speaker 1: Holy shit.
• 5:30
  Speaker 2: Wow. That's what a loss.
• 5:32
  Speaker 1: The thing we lost is the thing we need more.
• 5:36
  Speaker 2: More of.
• 5:38
  Speaker 1: Most of the time in the world today. We need
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: a little bit more Dolly in the world. Yeah, I
• 5:43
  Speaker 1: loved her too. I thought she was amazing. And when
• 5:48
  Speaker 1: I first saw her early days, you said the word persona,
• 5:52
  Speaker 1: which is an interesting word, right? In that because she
• 5:59
  Speaker 1: had this larger than life personality, appearance and presence and
• 6:04
  Speaker 1: energy and generosity and love. And it was almost like,
• 6:10
  Speaker 1: I just think nobody can actually be like that, but
• 6:14
  Speaker 1: she never showed a crack like that. That seems to be,
• 6:18
  Speaker 1: or seemed to be in whatever it was, a 60
• 6:21
  Speaker 1: year career that just seemed to be a constant. And
• 6:25
  Speaker 1: I thought, yeah, nobody can act that well for that long.
• 6:29
  Speaker 1: Like this is just who she is. And also the
• 6:32
  Speaker 1: fact that she came from, as you said, complete, like
• 6:36
  Speaker 1: she had, not only did she have no advantages, she
• 6:40
  Speaker 1: had all the disadvantages. Like, was she one of 13 kids? Yeah.
• 6:46
  Speaker 2: So like her background was something absurd like that. Like
• 6:49
  Speaker 2: just not someone who you typically would bet on, which
• 6:55
  Speaker 2: is a horrible statement, but it's not someone like, oh, well,
• 6:57
  Speaker 2: this kid definitely is going places.
• 7:00
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, yeah. And I wonder how much... What's the word?
• 7:07
  Speaker 1: The self-pity was going on with her. I would think
• 7:11
  Speaker 1: not much. She just didn't have time or energy because
• 7:15
  Speaker 1: she was trying to survive.
• 7:17
  Speaker 2: Talk about that a little bit more because what I
• 7:21
  Speaker 2: noticed in that is you saying she just didn't have time.
• 7:25
  Speaker 2: And that's an interesting distinction.
• 7:27
  Speaker 1: What do you mean? Well, I think... Well, I don't
• 7:32
  Speaker 1: mean that literally, but I mean, when you are one of, say,
• 7:34
  Speaker 1: 13 kids, say 15 people in the family, dad, I
• 7:39
  Speaker 1: know dad couldn't read or write. Dad was illiterate. You're living.
• 7:42
  Speaker 1: So she was born 80 years ago, which is 1946-ish.
• 7:48
  Speaker 1: The war has just ended. There's a depression. I think
• 7:55
  Speaker 1: you're so busy just surviving that Like you're so busy
• 8:00
  Speaker 1: just trying to figure out how not to die or
• 8:02
  Speaker 1: freeze or starve that most of your energy and therefore
• 8:07
  Speaker 1: time goes to surviving and trying to thrive in the
• 8:12
  Speaker 1: middle of the worst. I don't think there's too much
• 8:15
  Speaker 1: sitting around and contemplating the quality of one's life or
• 8:20
  Speaker 1: the opportunities in the context of other people in the world.
• 8:24
  Speaker 1: I think... I think it's much bigger than that, but
• 8:27
  Speaker 1: I think we have, look, people will argue this because there,
• 8:32
  Speaker 1: of course, there are lots of people in the world
• 8:34
  Speaker 1: who have it very difficult, but there are also a
• 8:37
  Speaker 1: lot of people who have it very easy. I would
• 8:39
  Speaker 1: put myself in that group. I think I have it
• 8:42
  Speaker 1: very easy, very comfortable, and I didn't deserve or earn
• 8:47
  Speaker 1: any of it. It's just where I grew up, how
• 8:49
  Speaker 1: I grew up, and who my parents were.
• 8:53
  Speaker 2: That's why I'm your co-host, because like I'm your karmic debt.
• 8:57
  Speaker 2: I'm the adversity that you needed in your life. But
• 9:02
  Speaker 2: I love this conversation because a lot of people are
• 9:06
  Speaker 2: struggling and we have to acknowledge that the world seems
• 9:11
  Speaker 2: like it's in a particularly complex and difficult place. And
• 9:15
  Speaker 2: rightfully so, I understand this, the advice that we're given,
• 9:19
  Speaker 2: and it's empirically valid as well, is to look in.
• 9:25
  Speaker 2: Like when things are really rough, like look in, self-care,
• 9:29
  Speaker 2: be mindful, breath work, emotional regulation. Good, good, good, good.
• 9:37
  Speaker 2: I think it could get stuck there, though. And when
• 9:40
  Speaker 2: you're talking about Dolly, like when you're like, OK, she
• 9:43
  Speaker 2: didn't have time. It's not about her. It's about anybody
• 9:46
  Speaker 2: who has all of this responsibility and urgent and emergent
• 9:51
  Speaker 2: pressing needs involving other people. And on top of that,
• 9:55
  Speaker 2: you think about a performer. There's this thing pulling at
• 9:58
  Speaker 2: you that becomes. all-encompassing like this one thing i kind
• 10:04
  Speaker 2: of feel like when you're down sometimes the only way
• 10:09
  Speaker 2: up is looking out not in yeah uh.
• 10:16
  Speaker 1: I i In that context, I agree. Where I would
• 10:22
  Speaker 1: disagree is if it was like, I've got all these
• 10:24
  Speaker 1: problems and it's not me. It's that thing over there.
• 10:29
  Speaker 1: It's that person. It's that teacher. It's this where we
• 10:32
  Speaker 1: try and rationalize all of our suffering having nothing to
• 10:39
  Speaker 1: do with us. It's just all the people. It's the circumstance.
• 10:43
  Speaker 1: It's the government. It's the weather. It's everything but me.
• 10:47
  Speaker 1: I am zero part of the problem. Like, I think
• 10:51
  Speaker 1: it's not... unreasonable to suggest that suffering comes from within
• 10:57
  Speaker 1: as well as from without. We can literally create our
• 11:01
  Speaker 1: own suffering with overthinking, with rumination, with storytelling, you know,
• 11:08
  Speaker 1: and with beliefs that we hold on to that are destructive,
• 11:12
  Speaker 1: not productive. And So I think, but both is true.
• 11:17
  Speaker 1: Like you live in a war zone. Well, fuck, that
• 11:20
  Speaker 1: is hard. That is suffering. That is pain. You didn't
• 11:23
  Speaker 1: cause it. That is real. You have a disease. That
• 11:26
  Speaker 1: is real. That is something that you didn't choose or
• 11:29
  Speaker 1: want or create. You have a partner who's a fucking
• 11:33
  Speaker 1: violent prick, right? That's not your fault. That's external. That's
• 11:40
  Speaker 1: I get it. There are these external factors that can
• 11:43
  Speaker 1: fuck up lives. Totally get it. And also, sometimes I
• 11:50
  Speaker 1: sit and tell myself a story that isn't true and
• 11:53
  Speaker 1: I inflict pain upon myself. It isn't one or the other.
• 11:58
  Speaker 1: These things can coexist, I think. Yeah.
• 12:02
  Speaker 2: I feel like it's about Being psychologically in the middle
• 12:08
  Speaker 2: of that bell curve of an internal and external frame
• 12:11
  Speaker 2: of reference, kind of like the Yerkes-Thompson curve. A little
• 12:14
  Speaker 2: bit of stress is good for you. A little bit
• 12:17
  Speaker 2: of more stress elicits high performance. Too much of that
• 12:22
  Speaker 2: for too long is deleterious to your mindset, your mental
• 12:26
  Speaker 2: and physical health in every way you could possibly imagine.
• 12:29
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Not everything is my fault, right?
• 12:32
  Speaker 2: I think I've been told that that's a trauma pattern
• 12:35
  Speaker 2: with a lot of people where everything that happens is
• 12:37
  Speaker 2: my fault. And I guess because especially with early childhood trauma,
• 12:43
  Speaker 2: that becomes a safer way of processing things than the
• 12:47
  Speaker 2: reality of the situation. But, you know, everything might not
• 12:52
  Speaker 2: be your fault or you're doing, but a lot of
• 12:55
  Speaker 2: things are. So there are things that you might not
• 12:58
  Speaker 2: be able to do anything about, acknowledge that. But what
• 13:00
  Speaker 2: are the things that you can do something about? And
• 13:02
  Speaker 2: what are the things that's pulling.
• 13:03
  Speaker 1: You towards that?
• 13:05
  Speaker 2: Even in the midst of struggle, what are the things
• 13:09
  Speaker 2: that elicit engagement, meaning, purpose, connection? I think obsession matters.
• 13:17
  Speaker 2: can be a very healthy thing if it's not something
• 13:21
  Speaker 2: you do out of avoidance, but you do it out
• 13:27
  Speaker 2: of meaning. Like, wow, this is so important. And this
• 13:31
  Speaker 2: takes up my time. It crowds out everything else. I
• 13:34
  Speaker 2: literally don't have as much time or tolerance.
• 13:38
  Speaker 1: I think obsession, I know what you're saying, and I
• 13:41
  Speaker 1: actually agree with you. I would reframe obsession into... focus.
• 13:48
  Speaker 1: Like I'm completely focused. Cause I just think obsession has
• 13:53
  Speaker 1: negative connotations, but you said something else that I fucking love.
• 13:56
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 13:58
  Speaker 1: And you know, when we talk about drugs, we talk about,
• 14:01
  Speaker 1: you know, it, Not so much the thing that we're doing,
• 14:04
  Speaker 1: the exercise or the food or the drug, the medicine,
• 14:08
  Speaker 1: but it's about the dose. It's about finding the right dose.
• 14:12
  Speaker 1: And you were talking about certain amount of comfort is good.
• 14:15
  Speaker 1: A bit more comfort maybe correlates to high performance, but
• 14:18
  Speaker 1: too much comfort is deleterious. It's bad. It's going to
• 14:22
  Speaker 1: create negative outcomes. It makes me think about finding the
• 14:26
  Speaker 1: right dose of discomfort or the right dose of pain.
• 14:31
  Speaker 1: What's the right dose for me? And then how do
• 14:34
  Speaker 1: I build my threshold or my tolerance, right? So that
• 14:39
  Speaker 1: eventually I can deal with a lot of pain without
• 14:42
  Speaker 1: too much of a negative consequence.
• 14:44
  Speaker 2: I mean, you know my take on this. We've talked
• 14:47
  Speaker 2: about this a lot. I think that there's a lot
• 14:51
  Speaker 2: of misunderstanding or regurgitation around certain themes. I feel like
• 14:57
  Speaker 2: reward is in the striving. I feel like struggle is
• 15:00
  Speaker 2: something that is built into fulfillment.
• 15:03
  Speaker 1: I think seeking.
• 15:05
  Speaker 2: Comfort and like, you know, a little bit like you've
• 15:07
  Speaker 2: worked an 80 hour week. It's like you got a
• 15:09
  Speaker 2: day off, like seek comfort. It's the best thing you
• 15:12
  Speaker 2: could do for you and the world around you. But
• 15:15
  Speaker 2: I feel like comfort is what people default to when
• 15:20
  Speaker 2: they don't know what the next step is, when they're confused,
• 15:24
  Speaker 2: when they're overwhelmed, when they're unclear. I think when you're
• 15:27
  Speaker 2: really clear about what it is you want, like there's
• 15:30
  Speaker 2: that meaning. I don't think people shy away from that. Well,
• 15:34
  Speaker 2: I'd rather deal with comfort because comfort, like at the
• 15:38
  Speaker 2: far end of it, is excruciating.
• 15:40
  Speaker 1: It's extreme boredom. Yeah.
• 15:43
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 15:45
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't know. I tend to think that people
• 15:49
  Speaker 1: choose comfort. Like you say, if they know what to do,
• 15:52
  Speaker 1: they'll generally do it. I disagree. I think people choose
• 15:55
  Speaker 1: comfort because the thing that they should do is hard
• 15:58
  Speaker 1: and people avoid hard. People choose instant gratification, quick fixes,
• 16:03
  Speaker 1: magic pills. Like you want to get in shape, there
• 16:06
  Speaker 1: is a pretty fucking simple but difficult answer to most
• 16:11
  Speaker 1: people's problems. And it's just that it won't be fun
• 16:15
  Speaker 1: or painless.
• 16:17
  Speaker 2: Well, you don't have to look too far to get
• 16:18
  Speaker 2: evidence for that argument. I feel like while I agree
• 16:24
  Speaker 2: with that, I feel like a lot of people don't
• 16:26
  Speaker 2: know what it is they truly want and why. And
• 16:31
  Speaker 2: I feel like when your values kind of align with
• 16:39
  Speaker 2: what it is you're doing, All of these attributes that
• 16:42
  Speaker 2: we associate with being successful within your health and fitness,
• 16:47
  Speaker 2: within your family, your relationships, your work, a lot of
• 16:51
  Speaker 2: them do tend to show up. I've just seen that
• 16:55
  Speaker 2: with people. A great example of this is this lady
• 16:59
  Speaker 2: I used to work with. She was an executive in
• 17:03
  Speaker 2: the organization and she was exceptionally driven. Like when you
• 17:08
  Speaker 2: talk about someone who shows up, does the work, even
• 17:13
  Speaker 2: when it's.
• 17:13
  Speaker 1: Hard, it was her.
• 17:16
  Speaker 2: And she had that personality type as well. But you
• 17:18
  Speaker 2: get to know her and she was talking about how
• 17:22
  Speaker 2: she was just insufferable to people when she was younger.
• 17:28
  Speaker 2: She was one of those people that could not get
• 17:30
  Speaker 2: her shit straight, could not hold down a job. Like
• 17:33
  Speaker 2: it was always about the next party, the next fun thing,
• 17:36
  Speaker 2: the next comfortable thing. and then, you know, she got
• 17:39
  Speaker 2: pregnant and they.
• 17:41
  Speaker 1: Thought, oh, we should get married.
• 17:43
  Speaker 2: And the day of her wedding, she shows up like
• 17:47
  Speaker 2: conspicuously pregnant in her wedding gown, no groom, never showed
• 17:53
  Speaker 2: left at the altar.
• 17:55
  Speaker 1: Now think about that.
• 17:56
  Speaker 2: Right. And she's raw. And obviously she's feeling a lot
• 18:02
  Speaker 2: of horrible feelings, but, The rest of her pregnancy, she's
• 18:06
  Speaker 2: just going, that's it. My life is over. Like, God,
• 18:09
  Speaker 2: I don't want to be a mom. I love my life.
• 18:11
  Speaker 2: I love my lifestyle. And then she has her baby
• 18:15
  Speaker 2: and they put her baby on her chest and she
• 18:20
  Speaker 2: just looks at this kid and it's like, oh my God,
• 18:25
  Speaker 2: I never knew I could be this.
• 18:26
  Speaker 1: Deeply in love. I never even knew this existed.
• 18:30
  Speaker 2: And like, The next day, she didn't wake up and
• 18:33
  Speaker 2: put her life together, but that was it. She was like,
• 18:37
  Speaker 2: I am going to be the best mom for this kid.
• 18:40
  Speaker 2: You know, she was an executive. She flipped houses. I mean,
• 18:44
  Speaker 2: she was like doing everything that we would look at
• 18:47
  Speaker 2: and go, well done there. And it showed up when
• 18:52
  Speaker 2: something aligned.
• 18:54
  Speaker 1: With a deeply rooted value system. Yeah, I love that.
• 19:00
  Speaker 1: I think that That is a good story. Thank you.
• 19:02
  Speaker 1: Believe it. And that is genuinely an example of somebody,
• 19:10
  Speaker 1: you know, turning their life around and kind of displays
• 19:13
  Speaker 1: our potential. Also, at the same time, let's say you
• 19:19
  Speaker 1: do a gig and you're in that gig and you've
• 19:21
  Speaker 1: got 100 people in the room and you say to
• 19:25
  Speaker 1: the room, without overthinking this question at all, How many
• 19:29
  Speaker 1: of you would like to be healthier, fitter, trimmer than
• 19:35
  Speaker 1: you are right now? Probably you'll get 90 hands. So
• 19:39
  Speaker 1: the vast majority of the room, one of their goals
• 19:43
  Speaker 1: or something they would definitely like to achieve is a healthier, leaner, trimmer,
• 19:47
  Speaker 1: maybe not leaner, healthier, more functional body. Now, those same
• 19:51
  Speaker 1: people who want to be healthier consciously choose booze five
• 19:55
  Speaker 1: days a week, consciously choose food that doesn't align with
• 20:00
  Speaker 1: how they want to be. So the truth is that
• 20:05
  Speaker 1: we can say, yeah, I want to be this, but
• 20:08
  Speaker 1: I'm not going to do the work. I know I
• 20:10
  Speaker 1: shouldn't eat junk food. Nonetheless, I eat junk food. I
• 20:13
  Speaker 1: know I shouldn't drink booze multiple days a week. I
• 20:15
  Speaker 1: drink booze multiple days a week. I know I shouldn't over-medicate.
• 20:19
  Speaker 1: I over-medicate now. I'm not trying on any level to
• 20:23
  Speaker 1: be judgmental. I'm just being practical. The real world truth
• 20:28
  Speaker 1: is that many of the people who want to create
• 20:30
  Speaker 1: change know what to do, or at least in part
• 20:35
  Speaker 1: know what to do, but consistently don't do what they
• 20:39
  Speaker 1: know because it's hard or it's not instant. It's not quick, painless, easy,
• 20:44
  Speaker 1: all those things. So I just, you know, and you
• 20:49
  Speaker 1: look at If we looked at charts of information, education, research,
• 20:54
  Speaker 1: science around obesity, wellness, high performance, blah, blah, blah, since
• 20:58
  Speaker 1: 1970s till now, you would see a kind of a relatively,
• 21:03
  Speaker 1: maybe not so linear progression of research and science around
• 21:07
  Speaker 1: how humans work and how to optimize the human body, blah, blah, blah.
• 21:12
  Speaker 1: What else you'd see if you looked at another graph
• 21:14
  Speaker 1: is a very similar progression in obesity.
• 21:17
  Speaker 4: Right.
• 21:18
  Speaker 1: So one doesn't correlate. It's not like, oh, we know
• 21:21
  Speaker 1: more now. So we're doing better. I think quite possibly
• 21:25
  Speaker 1: the opposite is a bigger correlation. The more we know,
• 21:29
  Speaker 1: the dumber shit we seem to do. So, you know,
• 21:33
  Speaker 1: and the more resources.
• 21:35
  Speaker 2: There's a lot of variables that go into that. But,
• 21:38
  Speaker 2: you know, to pull out some wisdom that you had
• 21:42
  Speaker 2: brought into this conversation earlier. Not everything has to apply
• 21:46
  Speaker 2: to every single person. I mean, yes, there are a
• 21:48
  Speaker 2: lot of variables. It's very complex. But sticking with this
• 21:51
  Speaker 2: particular thing about, OK, I know that if I do
• 21:55
  Speaker 2: certain things, and mostly around diet, sleep, food, stress management,
• 22:01
  Speaker 2: maybe a bit of that, in the future, there's going
• 22:04
  Speaker 2: to be positive consequences. And if I don't do it, well,
• 22:07
  Speaker 2: it's likely that there are going to be some not
• 22:09
  Speaker 2: so positive consequences. So do I have that ability to
• 22:15
  Speaker 2: delay gratification and say, right, I'm going to align my
• 22:19
  Speaker 2: behaviors with my desired future outcomes?
• 22:22
  Speaker 1: See, I'm one of those.
• 22:23
  Speaker 2: People in that audience that would go, yeah, yeah, I'd
• 22:26
  Speaker 2: love to be healthier. And then like at the bar,
• 22:30
  Speaker 2: I feel great having a conversation and drinking a bourbon.
• 22:34
  Speaker 2: So I'm that person in the audience. And it's like, wow,
• 22:38
  Speaker 2: I came up in the health and fitness industry. And
• 22:41
  Speaker 2: I might be projecting, but for me, the intellectual understanding
• 22:48
  Speaker 2: of benefits in the future never really compelled me to
• 22:51
  Speaker 2: turn my life around. In the beginning, it was, I'm
• 22:54
  Speaker 2: in so much pain. I just want to be isolated,
• 22:58
  Speaker 2: left alone. And I'm going to torture myself physically to
• 23:02
  Speaker 2: kind of like, distract myself from what I'm going through emotionally, psychologically.
• 23:10
  Speaker 2: And then, wow, if I could just, if I could
• 23:13
  Speaker 2: just exercise, maybe people look at my body and not
• 23:17
  Speaker 2: my face, but then it became something different for me.
• 23:20
  Speaker 2: It wasn't, well, what benefits do you want in the future?
• 23:24
  Speaker 2: Would you like to be healthy? It was like, oh
• 23:26
  Speaker 2: my goodness, I want to participate in learning and development.
• 23:31
  Speaker 2: I want to help build people. Well, Who do I
• 23:35
  Speaker 2: have to be to do that? That's exhausting.
• 23:38
  Speaker 1: Yes. Doing what I want to do.
• 23:40
  Speaker 2: There's a lot of time on the road and not
• 23:43
  Speaker 2: aligned with great health outcomes. Sometimes there's not a lot
• 23:46
  Speaker 2: of sleep because you've got plane delays.
• 23:48
  Speaker 1: You've got to wake up early in the morning. It's like, oh, hey,
• 23:51
  Speaker 1: you're on at 7 a.m. No, thanks. I need eight
• 23:53
  Speaker 1: hours sleep.
• 23:54
  Speaker 2: Can I take the 11 o'clock slot? No, you're opening. Okay, great.
• 23:58
  Speaker 2: I guess I'll, you know, sleep four hours instead of eight.
• 24:02
  Speaker 2: So I totally get that. But for me, it was like, what,
• 24:05
  Speaker 2: not what do you, what health benefits do you want
• 24:08
  Speaker 2: to have?
• 24:08
  Speaker 1: Who do you want to be? And that's like, oh, okay.
• 24:11
  Speaker 2: Well, that's what's required because the second I engage in this,
• 24:16
  Speaker 2: I'm being who I want to be in that instant.
• 24:21
  Speaker 1: If that makes sense. Yeah. Yeah. Lock it. I think
• 24:25
  Speaker 1: you mentioned something I can't specifically remember, but it prompted
• 24:29
  Speaker 1: me to think about like we're always moving towards something
• 24:33
  Speaker 1: we want or away from something we don't want. And
• 24:37
  Speaker 1: I feel like with a lot of things, until we
• 24:42
  Speaker 1: associate more pain with staying in this thing than doing
• 24:46
  Speaker 1: the thing we should do to get out of this
• 24:48
  Speaker 1: thing or potentially help us, we'll keep doing the thing.
• 24:52
  Speaker 1: Because we're like, where I am right now is not optimal,
• 24:56
  Speaker 1: but it's familiar and it's okay. And I'm all right.
• 25:01
  Speaker 1: And there's a level of comfort and predictability that comes
• 25:04
  Speaker 1: with it versus I've got to stop these habits and
• 25:09
  Speaker 1: behaviors that give me pleasure in the short term. And
• 25:13
  Speaker 1: I've got to go and step into this process, which
• 25:15
  Speaker 1: won't give me pleasure in the short term. but it
• 25:18
  Speaker 1: will make me a better version of me over the
• 25:20
  Speaker 1: long term. I think it's almost that pain point of, yeah,
• 25:25
  Speaker 1: I'm just in too much pain now. Fuck it. I'm
• 25:27
  Speaker 1: going to go do it.
• 25:30
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 25:34
  Speaker 1: And those are all valid points.
• 25:37
  Speaker 2: And my question for someone in that situation is, yeah,
• 25:40
  Speaker 2: I understand. These are hard things to do, right? You
• 25:44
  Speaker 2: want this, but you're so conditioned to behave this way.
• 25:49
  Speaker 2: If you were already, let's say like in the multiverse,
• 25:53
  Speaker 2: there's a version of you right now that is the ideal,
• 25:58
  Speaker 2: the epitome of what you would ideally want to become
• 26:01
  Speaker 2: if it required nothing at all. What advice would that
• 26:03
  Speaker 2: person give you? Future successful you having a conversation, just
• 26:08
  Speaker 2: grabbing a coffee with current version of you. What's that
• 26:13
  Speaker 2: conversation like? Like what's the sage advice there? Like, and
• 26:17
  Speaker 2: if you could just, I feel like when we have
• 26:22
  Speaker 2: starting points that allow efficacy to seep into our lives,
• 26:28
  Speaker 2: it opens the door. It's almost like... It's probably not
• 26:31
  Speaker 2: a bad analogy. My cat flips out when my door
• 26:34
  Speaker 2: is shut. So I leave it open just a jar.
• 26:37
  Speaker 2: Because if it's open just an inch, he could push
• 26:41
  Speaker 2: that door open a lot wider. But he can't if
• 26:44
  Speaker 2: that door is completely shut to him, which leads to
• 26:46
  Speaker 2: him screaming his head off.
• 26:48
  Speaker 4: Right? So.
• 26:49
  Speaker 2: Like one meal a day. Be the best version of
• 26:56
  Speaker 2: that person. The other ones, stay the person you are.
• 26:59
  Speaker 2: Just experiment with being that person. Not 24 hours today.
• 27:03
  Speaker 2: Just one hour today.
• 27:05
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 27:05
  Speaker 2: Just experiment with being that person two nights a week
• 27:09
  Speaker 2: when it comes to sleep hygiene. Because I think once
• 27:11
  Speaker 2: we start to do that, because a loss aversion is like, wow,
• 27:15
  Speaker 2: I do feel better. Wow, I can do this. I
• 27:18
  Speaker 2: think two meals a day becomes far more possible.
• 27:24
  Speaker 1: So Malcolm Gladwell wrote The Tipping Point, which is not
• 27:27
  Speaker 1: about what we're talking about right now, but an interesting book, everyone,
• 27:30
  Speaker 1: if you haven't read it, one of my top 10.
• 27:33
  Speaker 1: What is the– is it an emotional– feel free to
• 27:38
  Speaker 1: jump in. Is it an emotional and or psychological tipping
• 27:43
  Speaker 1: point that we get to or something else perhaps where–
• 27:48
  Speaker 1: We just go, fuck it, I'm doing it. Like it
• 27:51
  Speaker 1: seems like something has to happen that moves the needle.
• 27:56
  Speaker 1: Like for me, I would think nearly every time I've
• 27:59
  Speaker 1: done something significant, there's been an event, big or small,
• 28:06
  Speaker 1: that has prompted that change before the change.
• 28:10
  Speaker 2: Yep.
• 28:10
  Speaker 1: Like I could have done it at any time, but
• 28:13
  Speaker 1: I just didn't. A real-world practical used too much on
• 28:17
  Speaker 1: this show, so I apologize. The example is year eight
• 28:20
  Speaker 1: swimming sports. I was morbidly obese. I'd been morbidly obese
• 28:24
  Speaker 1: for years, so it's not like this was new. And
• 28:26
  Speaker 1: I had this time where I was just wildly, wildly
• 28:30
  Speaker 1: embarrassed and humiliated. The next day, the same guy with
• 28:35
  Speaker 1: the same genetics and the same potential and the same
• 28:38
  Speaker 1: knowledge totally changed fucking everything internally. That experience led to
• 28:45
  Speaker 1: an inner revolution that led to a physical revolution. Had
• 28:50
  Speaker 1: I not stood on the blocks and had that moment
• 28:52
  Speaker 1: in time, I don't think it would have happened. Definitely
• 28:55
  Speaker 1: not then anyway.
• 28:58
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that is so because I feel like when you
• 29:00
  Speaker 2: look at a lot of people who have turned their
• 29:02
  Speaker 2: life around and we see that in the health and
• 29:04
  Speaker 2: fitness industry where somebody was one way and then they
• 29:09
  Speaker 2: completely transformed like everything about them. They were that person
• 29:14
  Speaker 2: where it's like, oh my goodness, this guy's going to
• 29:16
  Speaker 2: go on about health and fitness and diet and exercise.
• 29:19
  Speaker 2: And you would see them as salespeople. They would come
• 29:22
  Speaker 2: into the fitness industry and they would either make the
• 29:25
  Speaker 2: worst salespeople ever because it's about them and their story
• 29:29
  Speaker 2: and what you should do. And I know your problem
• 29:31
  Speaker 2: and I know how to fix you. Or they would
• 29:34
  Speaker 2: become this empathetic champion for other people. to where you
• 29:41
  Speaker 2: sit down and talk to them for 10 minutes. You
• 29:42
  Speaker 2: feel like you can do anything. But in a lot
• 29:45
  Speaker 2: of cases, when you spoke to these people, there was
• 29:47
  Speaker 2: this activating event. Like, this is it. Like, I can't
• 29:52
  Speaker 2: deal with this level of pain anymore.
• 29:54
  Speaker 1: It was like their.
• 29:55
  Speaker 2: Ebenezer Scrooge moment where it's like, this is not help.
• 30:00
  Speaker 1: Me in my past.
• 30:01
  Speaker 2: I am miserable today. And if I keep going, my
• 30:04
  Speaker 2: future is more of the same.
• 30:06
  Speaker 1: Like, screw this. I'm going to change and I'm going
• 30:08
  Speaker 1: to do it right now.
• 30:10
  Speaker 2: And that can kind of go the other way. based
• 30:13
  Speaker 2: on how you interpret those activating moments.
• 30:18
  Speaker 1: Tiff, was there a point in time for you, because
• 30:21
  Speaker 1: it's not that you were a party animal, but you
• 30:23
  Speaker 1: were just a regular late teen young woman who was
• 30:29
  Speaker 1: doing life and hanging out and socializing and having the
• 30:31
  Speaker 1: odd drink, but you weren't really an athlete or anything.
• 30:35
  Speaker 1: And then over time, you became a relatively high level
• 30:38
  Speaker 1: athlete with quite amazing skills and physical performance and capacity,
• 30:46
  Speaker 1: or was that a gradual evolution?
• 30:49
  Speaker 4: So I was just thinking about this when you guys
• 30:51
  Speaker 4: were talking, because I think one thing that we don't
• 30:54
  Speaker 4: do is put any awareness or curiosity around what influences
• 31:03
  Speaker 4: what I am and who I am now and how
• 31:07
  Speaker 4: I do life. And I think I look at how
• 31:10
  Speaker 4: people would have looked at me over the years when
• 31:13
  Speaker 4: I was fighting and when I was training, and they
• 31:18
  Speaker 4: would say, you're so disciplined, you're so dedicated and motivated
• 31:23
  Speaker 4: and all of the things. Good on you. Good on
• 31:25
  Speaker 4: you for changing. Because, yeah, I smoked cigarettes when I
• 31:28
  Speaker 4: was young. I would go out drinking. I wasn't fitness
• 31:34
  Speaker 4: or health-minded, but I was fortunate because– I found myself
• 31:41
  Speaker 4: putting my hand up for a ridiculous boxing challenge and
• 31:44
  Speaker 4: that challenge just happened to be something that it wasn't
• 31:47
  Speaker 4: that I walked into a gym and said, oh, I
• 31:49
  Speaker 4: want to be the best version of me. I said,
• 31:51
  Speaker 4: I want to fight. And a part of doing a
• 31:53
  Speaker 4: fight camp, when I looked at the people around me,
• 31:55
  Speaker 4: they were all going off booze and doing the thing.
• 31:59
  Speaker 4: So you go, oh, I have to get really uncomfortable
• 32:02
  Speaker 4: for these 12 weeks and I'm not going to have
• 32:05
  Speaker 4: a glass of wine with dinner because that's not what
• 32:08
  Speaker 4: fighters do. And then I fell in love with a
• 32:11
  Speaker 4: sport and many of my choices and behaviors became supportive
• 32:15
  Speaker 4: of prioritizing that. It wasn't a health and fitness mindset thing.
• 32:20
  Speaker 4: So sometimes we look at people and we think that
• 32:25
  Speaker 4: they're lucky or they're dedicated or they're whatever, and we
• 32:29
  Speaker 4: don't realize what influenced. I could have very easily stayed
• 32:32
  Speaker 4: the cigarette smoking, drinking at bars, and I'd be a
• 32:36
  Speaker 4: very different person today.
• 32:39
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, and choosing bad men.
• 32:43
  Speaker 4: I could have kept doing that, definitely.
• 32:49
  Speaker 1: Well, you've got a ripper now. So, yeah, I guess
• 32:51
  Speaker 1: sometimes it's a little bit depends on who you're around
• 32:56
  Speaker 1: and what you're around and, you know, it's like people
• 32:59
  Speaker 1: that I love and respect and look up to. I
• 33:03
  Speaker 1: remember when I was in my early 20s idolising a
• 33:06
  Speaker 1: few people and just wanting to be more like them.
• 33:10
  Speaker 1: But what I really wanted was I wanted the attributes
• 33:13
  Speaker 1: that they had. I wanted the calm, the confidence, the intelligence,
• 33:18
  Speaker 1: the impact. Like, that's the stuff. But they just embodied
• 33:24
  Speaker 1: kind of a version of who I wanted to be.
• 33:27
  Speaker 1: You know, I think that's why, I.
• 33:29
  Speaker 3: Don't know, Bobby, that's maybe why you and I were
• 33:32
  Speaker 3: very much addicted to or enamored with, you know, all the,
• 33:38
  Speaker 3: the early pioneers of self-help because I used to believe it.
• 33:41
  Speaker 1: Like I used to watch Tony Robbins and go, I
• 33:43
  Speaker 1: don't know, people laugh now, but it's like, how clever
• 33:46
  Speaker 1: is this dude? Or, you know, whoever it was, Deepak or,
• 33:50
  Speaker 1: you know, Stephen Covey or any of these dudes doing that.
• 33:54
  Speaker 1: Go on, Tiff. I feel like you've got, yeah.
• 33:55
  Speaker 4: Yeah, because it's funny that you mentioned Tony Robbins because
• 33:58
  Speaker 4: when you guys first started talking about people changing or
• 34:01
  Speaker 4: not changing, I looked up the six core human needs
• 34:05
  Speaker 4: and And two of the top ones are certainty, the
• 34:09
  Speaker 4: need for safety, stability, and knowing what to expect, and variety,
• 34:14
  Speaker 4: the need for change, novelty, and excitement. So two completely
• 34:17
  Speaker 4: polarizing things. And we are getting put there two of
• 34:20
  Speaker 4: the four main human needs, and we're getting pulled by
• 34:25
  Speaker 4: those unconsciously in that decision-making, I want to change process.
• 34:30
  Speaker 1: Yeah. It's something of a dichotomy because they are quite–
• 34:34
  Speaker 1: You know, certainty comes with a level of predictability, not unpredictability,
• 34:40
  Speaker 1: but variety comes with unpredictability. So it almost seems confounding. Robert?
• 34:48
  Speaker 2: I think when you understand these things, you can step
• 34:50
  Speaker 2: back a little bit more clear and go, how did
• 34:52
  Speaker 2: these things impact me? Especially in reflection. Because I think
• 34:57
  Speaker 2: we tell ourselves a lot of stories when we're in
• 34:59
  Speaker 2: the midst of a certain pattern, but stepping back and
• 35:02
  Speaker 2: looking at it and going, oh, wow, I wonder what
• 35:04
  Speaker 2: drove that. I wonder what the need was behind that.
• 35:07
  Speaker 2: You said people laugh like with Tony Robbins. I found
• 35:09
  Speaker 2: Tony Robbins to be extraordinarily helpful when I was younger.
• 35:12
  Speaker 2: And here's the thing. Everybody I know that follows Tony
• 35:19
  Speaker 2: Robbins are exceedingly successful people. I mean, people that are millionaires,
• 35:25
  Speaker 2: deca millionaires, and people who have passed that point a long,
• 35:28
  Speaker 2: long time ago. Like they'll spend 30 grand to go
• 35:31
  Speaker 2: to a weekend seminar with Tony Robbins, which they're not
• 35:34
  Speaker 2: going to do if there's not value. So I think
• 35:38
  Speaker 2: Tony Robbins has a lot to offer. And I just
• 35:41
  Speaker 2: want to circle back to a theme here that I
• 35:44
  Speaker 2: know Tony Robbins has talked about. I know James Clear
• 35:47
  Speaker 2: has talked about it.
• 35:48
  Speaker 1: Identity.
• 35:50
  Speaker 2: Like who you think you are or who you think
• 35:54
  Speaker 2: you are not is so powerful. in terms of sustainable
• 35:57
  Speaker 2: behavior change. Tiff said it and she reminded me of
• 36:01
  Speaker 2: someone I know and love when she said, well, I'm
• 36:04
  Speaker 2: a fighter. The second you are like, I'm a fighter
• 36:08
  Speaker 2: and fighters don't do this. It's not like, well, do
• 36:11
  Speaker 2: I want a wine with dinner tonight? You know, I
• 36:14
  Speaker 2: really like it all, but you know, it's not really
• 36:16
  Speaker 2: gonna help me get ready for the fight. No, I'm
• 36:18
  Speaker 2: a fighter and fighters don't drink when they're preparing for
• 36:21
  Speaker 2: a fight. Like one of the most effective discipline, like
• 36:25
  Speaker 2: this person, again, force of nature. She was one of
• 36:30
  Speaker 2: the most effective fitness managers I've ever worked with and
• 36:34
  Speaker 2: just driven and super successful. She could walk into any
• 36:39
  Speaker 2: health club that's top performing and get them to perform
• 36:44
  Speaker 2: at such a higher level financially, right? due to her
• 36:48
  Speaker 2: cultural development, team development. That's hard to do. You walk
• 36:51
  Speaker 2: into a mediocre club and you turn it into a
• 36:53
  Speaker 2: high performing club. Well done. You walk into a high
• 36:56
  Speaker 2: performing club and you double anything they've ever done. She
• 37:00
  Speaker 2: did that consistently. Like that was her track record, but
• 37:04
  Speaker 2: she smoked. And that was the dirty secret. And she
• 37:07
  Speaker 2: was so she was one of these people that would
• 37:10
  Speaker 2: like smoke a cigarette and like the perfume, like spraying around.
• 37:15
  Speaker 2: You could smell that like everybody knew what she was doing.
• 37:18
  Speaker 1: And she would.
• 37:20
  Speaker 2: Try to use willpower and discipline because that was what
• 37:23
  Speaker 2: worked for her in every other aspect of her life.
• 37:28
  Speaker 2: But it wasn't working. And then she moved. So she
• 37:31
  Speaker 2: moved across to a different part of the country. And
• 37:35
  Speaker 2: she had no friends, no social life.
• 37:38
  Speaker 1: She was lonely.
• 37:39
  Speaker 2: First person she met belonged to a running club. I
• 37:44
  Speaker 2: was like, hey, you want to come to the running
• 37:45
  Speaker 2: club this weekend? She's like, shit, I've got nothing else
• 37:49
  Speaker 2: going on socially. Yeah, I'll go running. Well, what do
• 37:52
  Speaker 2: you think happened? Like coach pulled over and said, you know,
• 37:56
  Speaker 2: if you could do anything else, like literally anything, I
• 38:00
  Speaker 2: would consider it because running is not for you. I mean,
• 38:03
  Speaker 2: just smoking a pack of cigarettes a day. You know,
• 38:06
  Speaker 2: smokers don't typically make great runners. But like she just
• 38:10
  Speaker 2: grew up in an environment where I think that was
• 38:12
  Speaker 2: like her dad. Well, you can't do that. You're not
• 38:15
  Speaker 2: good at. So she developed this rebellious.
• 38:17
  Speaker 1: Oh, yeah. Yeah.
• 38:18
  Speaker 2: So eventually, she started getting better and better and better.
• 38:21
  Speaker 2: She became pretty much in the middle of that team.
• 38:25
  Speaker 2: But something shifted. She started to consider herself a runner.
• 38:29
  Speaker 2: She was a track athlete. Problem is, track athletes don't smoke.
• 38:34
  Speaker 2: So after years and dozens of failed attempts at quitting,
• 38:40
  Speaker 2: that's it. Boom. Cigarettes went away. Never lit up again.
• 38:45
  Speaker 2: Because runners don't. So identity is that thing that we
• 38:51
  Speaker 2: do not talk about enough.
• 38:54
  Speaker 1: I love that. That's a good story, dude. You should
• 38:57
  Speaker 1: have wheeled that out years ago.
• 38:58
  Speaker 2: Well, I just, when I heard Tiffany say like, no,
• 39:02
  Speaker 2: I like it. I'm a fighter. I was like, yes,
• 39:05
  Speaker 2: of course.
• 39:06
  Speaker 1: I've never looked at it like that. It is, that
• 39:09
  Speaker 1: is such a, it's such an interesting thing. And when
• 39:13
  Speaker 1: you tie in, When you kind of own that identity
• 39:17
  Speaker 1: or you feel like that is a big part, not
• 39:19
  Speaker 1: the total, but a big part of who you are
• 39:21
  Speaker 1: and you go, yeah, well, runners don't smoke. So I'm
• 39:25
  Speaker 1: either a smoker or a runner. I can't be both.
• 39:29
  Speaker 1: You know, that's. oh, well, it's been a good chat.
• 39:33
  Speaker 1: You too. I quite liked it. And despite the, uh,
• 39:37
  Speaker 1: the volatile start, you.
• 39:40
  Speaker 2: Know, now we accept your apology about that. Everyone has
• 39:45
  Speaker 2: those days.
• 39:45
  Speaker 1: It's all right, man. That's what I'm saying. I'm saying
• 39:48
  Speaker 1: I was the problem. I am so sorry. Bobby, where
• 39:51
  Speaker 1: can people find you?
• 39:55
  Speaker 2: Well, I've restarted my podcast episodes, so you can find
• 39:58
  Speaker 2: me anywhere that podcasts can be found. You find a podcast,
• 40:02
  Speaker 2: I'm there as well. I'm right there in the queue.
• 40:07
  Speaker 1: You might want to tell them what it's called just
• 40:08
  Speaker 1: to help out.
• 40:11
  Speaker 2: Oh, my podcast. I was like, okay, yeah, I thought
• 40:14
  Speaker 2: you meant podcast.
• 40:15
  Speaker 1: I was like, well... It's like a radio show, but
• 40:17
  Speaker 1: it's virtual.
• 40:18
  Speaker 2: Anyway, yeah, the self-help band to do.
• 40:22
  Speaker 1: Fucking hell. Have you ever heard anyone make something so simple,
• 40:25
  Speaker 1: so complicated? It's like literally what's the name of your show?
• 40:29
  Speaker 1: And he looks dumbfounded. Tiff, what's the name of your show?
• 40:35
  Speaker 4: Roll with the punches, Harps. Thank you for asking.
• 40:37
  Speaker 1: See, there you go. So easy, Bobby. So easy. I've
• 40:42
  Speaker 1: got such great role models. So good to catch up,
• 40:46
  Speaker 1: you two, everybody. I hope you have a good evening
• 40:49
  Speaker 1: or day, whatever's ahead of you. Thanks for tuning in.