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044 - Midnight · Whats Mines Mine

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  Speaker 1: Volume three, chapter nine of What's Mine's Mind by George
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  Speaker 1: mac Donald. This LibriVox recording is in the public domain.
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  Speaker 1: Midnight Mercy sat alone, but not lonely, at her window.
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  Speaker 1: A joy in her heart made her independent for the
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  Speaker 1: time of human intercourse. Life at the moment was livable
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  Speaker 1: without it, for there was no bar between her and
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  Speaker 1: her lover. The evening drew on, they sent her food,
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  Speaker 1: She forgot to eat it and sat looking till the
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  Speaker 1: lines of the horizon seemed grown into her mind like
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  Speaker 1: an etching. She watched the slow dusk swell and gather
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  Speaker 1: with such delicate, soft blending graduations in the birth of night,
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  Speaker 1: as Edwinois loves to seize and word paint through all
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  Speaker 1: its fine, avanescent change of thought and feeling. She watched unconsciously,
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  Speaker 1: and the growth, death, and burial of that twilight were,
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  Speaker 1: ever after, a substratum to all the sadness and all
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  Speaker 1: the hope that visited her Through palest eastern rows, through
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  Speaker 1: silvery gold and golden green and brown, the daylight passed
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  Speaker 1: into the shadow of the light, and the stars, like
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  Speaker 1: hope and despair, began to show themselves where they always were,
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  Speaker 1: and the night came on, and deeper and deeper sank
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  Speaker 1: the silence household sound expired, and no step came near
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  Speaker 1: her door. Her father had given orders and was obeyed.
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  Speaker 1: Christina had stolen, indeed from her room and listened at hers,
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  Speaker 1: But hearing nor sound nor motion, had concluded it better
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  Speaker 1: for mercy as well as safer for herself to return.
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  Speaker 1: So she sat, the sole wakeful thing in the house,
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  Speaker 1: For even her father slept. The earth had grown vague
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  Speaker 1: and dim, looking as it must look to the dead.
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  Speaker 1: Its oppressive solidity, it's true of heareness dissolved in the dark.
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  Speaker 1: It left the soul to live its own life. She
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  Speaker 1: could still trace the meeting of earth and sky, each
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  Speaker 1: the evidence of the other. But the earth was content
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  Speaker 1: to be and not assert, and the sky lived only
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  Speaker 1: in the points of light that dotted its vaulted quiet.
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  Speaker 1: Sound itself seemed asleep and filling the air with the
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  Speaker 1: repose of its slumber. Absolute silence the soul cannot grasp.
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  Speaker 1: Therefore deepest silence seems ever in Wordsworth's lovely phrase, wandering
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  Speaker 1: into sound, for silence is but the thin shadow of harmony, say, rather,
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  Speaker 1: creation's ear agape for sound, The waiting matrix of interwoven melodies,
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  Speaker 1: the sphere bowl standing empty for the wine of the spirit.
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  Speaker 1: There may be yet another reason, beyond its too great
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  Speaker 1: depth or height or strength, why we should be deaf
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  Speaker 1: to this spheral music. It may be that the the
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  Speaker 1: absolute perfection of its harmony can take to our ears.
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  Speaker 1: But the shape of silence, content and patient, Mercy sat waiting.
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  Speaker 1: It was just past midnight, but she had not yet
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  Speaker 1: lighted a candle. When something struck the window, as with
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  Speaker 1: the soft blow of a moth. Swing Her heart gave
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  Speaker 1: a great leap. She listened breathless. Nothing followed. It must
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  Speaker 1: have been some flying night thing, though surely too late
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  Speaker 1: in the year for a moth. It came again. She
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  Speaker 1: dared not speak. She softly opened the window. The darkness
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  Speaker 1: had thinned on the horizon, and the half moon was
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  Speaker 1: lifting a corner above the edge of the world. Something
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  Speaker 1: in the shrubbery answered her, Shine, and without rustle of branch,
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  Speaker 1: quiet as a ghost, the Chief stepped into the open space.
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  Speaker 1: Mercy leaned toward him and said, hush, speak low. There
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  Speaker 1: is no need to say much. He answered, I come
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  Speaker 1: only to tell you that, as man may I am
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  Speaker 1: with you always, how quietly you came, I did not
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  Speaker 1: hear a sound. I have been two hours here in
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  Speaker 1: the shrubbery, and I not once to suspect it. You
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  Speaker 1: might have given me some hint, A very small one
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  Speaker 1: would have been enough. Why did you not let me know?
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  Speaker 1: It was not your hour? It is twelve? But now
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  Speaker 1: the moon comes to say so. I came for the
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  Speaker 1: luxury of expectation, and the delight of knowing you better
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  Speaker 1: attended than you thought. You knew me with you in spirit.
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  Speaker 1: I was with you in the body too, my Chief,
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  Speaker 1: she said softly, I shall always find you nearer and
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  Speaker 1: better than I was able to think. I know, I
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  Speaker 1: do not know how good you are. I am good
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  Speaker 1: toward you, Mercy. I love you. A long silence, save
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  Speaker 1: of shining eyes followed. We are waiting for God, said Alistair,
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  Speaker 1: at length waiting, isl answered Mercy. She leaned out, looking
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  Speaker 1: down to her heaven. The moon had been climbing the
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  Speaker 1: sky veiled in a little cloud. The cloud vanished, and
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  Speaker 1: her light fell on the Chief. Have you been to
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  Speaker 1: a ball, said Mercy? No, Mercy, I doubt if there
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  Speaker 1: will be any dancing mourn Strathrud, Then why are you
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  Speaker 1: in court dress. When should a celt who of all
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  Speaker 1: the world loves radiance and color put on his gay
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  Speaker 1: attire for the multitude or for the one? Thank you?
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  Speaker 1: Is it a compliment? But after your love, everything fine
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  Speaker 1: seems only natural. In love there are no compliments. Truth
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  Speaker 1: only walks the sacred path between the two doors. I
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  Speaker 1: will love you as my father loved my mother and
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  Speaker 1: loves her. Still I do like to see you shining.
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  Speaker 1: It was kind of you to dress for the moon,
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  Speaker 1: and me, whoever loves the truth, must love shining things.
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  Speaker 1: God is the father of lights, even of the lights
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  Speaker 1: hid in the dark earth, sapphires and rubies and all
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  Speaker 1: the families of splendor. I shall always see you like that.
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  Speaker 1: There is one thing I want to say to you, mercy.
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  Speaker 1: You will not think me indifferent. However long I may be.
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  Speaker 1: In proposing a definite plan for our future. We must
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  Speaker 1: wait upon God. I shall think nothing. You would not
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  Speaker 1: have me think a little while ago, I might have
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  Speaker 1: dreamed anything, for I was fast asleep. I was dead
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  Speaker 1: till you waked me. If I were what girls call
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  Speaker 1: in love, I should be impatient to be with you.
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  Speaker 1: But I love you much more than that, and do
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  Speaker 1: not need to be always with you. You have made
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  Speaker 1: me able to think, and I can think about you.
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  Speaker 1: I was but a child, and you made a woman
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  Speaker 1: of me God and Ian did said I, yes, but
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  Speaker 1: through you, and I want to be worthy of you.
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  Speaker 1: A woman to whom a man's love was so little
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  Speaker 1: comfort that she pined away and died because she could
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  Speaker 1: not be married to him. Would not be a wife
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  Speaker 1: worthy of my Chief. Then you will always trust me.
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  Speaker 1: I will. When one really knows another, then all is safe.
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  Speaker 1: How many people do you know, asked the Chief. She
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  Speaker 1: thought a moment, and with a little laugh, replied, you
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  Speaker 1: pardon me, Mercy, but I do want to know how
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  Speaker 1: your father treats you. We will not talk about him, please.
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  Speaker 1: He is my father, and so far yours. That you
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  Speaker 1: are bound to make what excuse you can for him.
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  Speaker 1: That I am bound to do if he were no
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  Speaker 1: father to either of us. It is what God is
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  Speaker 1: always doing for us. Only he will never let us off.
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  Speaker 1: He has had no one to teach him, Allister, and
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  Speaker 1: has always been rich and accustomed to have his own way.
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  Speaker 1: I begin to think one punishment of making money in
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  Speaker 1: a wrong manner is to be prosperous in it. I
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  Speaker 1: am sure you are right. But will you be able
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  Speaker 1: to bear poverty? Mercy, yes, she answered, but so carelessly
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  Speaker 1: that she seemed to speak without having thought. You do
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  Speaker 1: not know what poverty means, rejoined Allister. We may have
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  Speaker 1: to endure much for our people. It means you anyway,
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  Speaker 1: does it not? If you and poverty come together, welcome
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  Speaker 1: you and your friend. I see I must confess a thing.
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  Speaker 1: Do you remember telling me to read Julius Caesar? Yes?
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  Speaker 1: Do you remember how Portia gave herself a wound that
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  Speaker 1: she might prove to her husband she was able to
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  Speaker 1: keep a secret. Yes, surely. I have my meals in
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  Speaker 1: my room now, so I can do as I please.
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  Speaker 1: And I never eat the nice things dear mother always
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  Speaker 1: sends me, but potatoes and porridge, and bread and milk.
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  Speaker 1: What is that for Mercy, to show you I am
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  Speaker 1: worthy of being poor, able at least to be poor.
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  Speaker 1: I have not once tasted anything very nice since the
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  Speaker 1: letter that made my father so angry. You, darling of
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  Speaker 1: all men, a highlander understands independence of the kind of food.
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  Speaker 1: But continued, Alister, you need not go on with it.
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  Speaker 1: I am quite convinced, and we must take with thanksgiving
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  Speaker 1: what God gives us. Besides, you have to grow yet,
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  Speaker 1: Alister and me like a may pole. You are tall enough,
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  Speaker 1: but we are creatures of three dimensions and need more
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  Speaker 1: than height. You must eat, or you will certainly be ill. Oh,
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  Speaker 1: I eat, but just as you please. Only it wouldn't
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  Speaker 1: do me the least harm, so long as you didn't mind.
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  Speaker 1: It was as much to prove to myself I could
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  Speaker 1: as to you. But don't you think It must be
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  Speaker 1: nearly time for people to wake from their first sleep.
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  Speaker 1: The same instant, there was a little noise like a sob.
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  Speaker 1: Mercy started, and when she looked again, Alister had vanished,
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  Speaker 1: as noiselessly as he came. For a moment, she sat,
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  Speaker 1: afraid to move. A wind came blowing upon her from
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  Speaker 1: the window. Some one had opened her door. What if
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  Speaker 1: it were her father, She compelled herself to turn her head.
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  Speaker 1: It was something white. It was Christina. She came to
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  Speaker 1: her through the shadow of the moonlight, put her arms
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  Speaker 1: round her, and pressed to her face a wet cheek.
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  Speaker 1: For a moment or two, neither spoke. I heard a
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  Speaker 1: little mercy, sobbed Christina. Forgive me. I meant no harm.
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  Speaker 1: I only wanted to know if you were awake. I
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  Speaker 1: was coming to see you. Thank you, Chrissie. That was
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  Speaker 1: good of you. You are a dear and so is
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  Speaker 1: your Chief. I am sorry I scared him. It made
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  Speaker 1: me so miserable to hear you so happy that I
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  Speaker 1: could not help it. Would you mind forgiving me, dear?
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  Speaker 1: I don't mind your hearing a bit. I am glad
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  Speaker 1: you should know how the Chief loves me. But you
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  Speaker 1: must be careful, Dear. Papa might pretend to take him
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  Speaker 1: for a robber and shoot him. Oh no, Chrissy, he
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  Speaker 1: wouldn't do that. I would not be too sure. I
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  Speaker 1: hadn't an idea before what Papa was like. Oh, what
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  Speaker 1: men are and what they can be. I shall never
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  Speaker 1: hold up my head again. With this incoherent speech, to
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  Speaker 1: Mercy's astonishment and consternation, she burst into tears. Mercy tried
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  Speaker 1: to comfort her, but did not know how. She had
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  Speaker 1: seen for some time that there was a difference in
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  Speaker 1: her that something was the matter, and wondered whether she
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  Speaker 1: could be missing Ian. But it was merest surmise. Perhaps
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  Speaker 1: now she would tell her. She was weeping like a
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  Speaker 1: child on her shoulder. Presently, she began to tremble. Mercy
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  Speaker 1: coaxed her in to her bed, and, undressing, quickly lay
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  Speaker 1: down beside her and took her in her arms to
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  Speaker 1: make her warm. Before the morning, with many breaks of
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  Speaker 1: sobbing and weeping, Christina had told Mercy her story. I
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  Speaker 1: wish you would let me tell the Chief, She said,
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  Speaker 1: he would know how to comfort you. Thank you, said Christina,
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  Speaker 1: with not a little indignation. I forgot I was talking
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  Speaker 1: to a girl as good as married, who would not
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  Speaker 1: keep my secrets any more than her own. She would
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  Speaker 1: have arisen at once to go to her own room,
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  Speaker 1: and the knight that had brought such joy to Mercy
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  Speaker 1: threatened to end very sadly. She threw her arms round
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  Speaker 1: Christina's waist, locked her hands together, and held her fast.
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  Speaker 1: Hear me, Christy, darling, I am a great, big, huge brute,
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  Speaker 1: she cried, But I was only stupid. I would not
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  Speaker 1: tell a secret of yours, even to Allister, not for worlds.
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  Speaker 1: If I did, he would be nearer despising me than
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  Speaker 1: I should know how to bear. I will not tell him.
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  Speaker 1: Did I ever break my word to you, Chrissy? No, never,
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  Speaker 1: Mercy responded Christina, and turning she put her arms round her. Besides,
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  Speaker 1: she went on, why should I go to anyone for counsel?
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  Speaker 1: Could I have a better counselor than Ian? Is he
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  Speaker 1: not my friend? Oh? He is? He is? He said so,
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  Speaker 1: he said so. The words prefaced another storm of tears.
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  Speaker 1: He is going to write to me, she sobbed, as
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  Speaker 1: soon as she could speak again. Perhaps he will love
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  Speaker 1: you yet, Chrissy, No, no, he will never love me
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  Speaker 1: that way. For goodness sake, don't hint it such a thing.
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  Speaker 1: I should not be able to write a word to him.
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  Speaker 1: If I thought that I should feel a wolf in
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  Speaker 1: sheep's clothing. I have done with tricks and pretendings. Ian,
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  Speaker 1: she'll never say to himself. I wish I had not
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  Speaker 1: trusted that girl. I thought she was going to be honest.
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  Speaker 1: But what's bred in the bone? I declare, Mercy, I
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  Speaker 1: should blush myself thought of being to learn he thought
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  Speaker 1: of me like that. I mean to be worthy of
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  Speaker 1: his friendship. His friendship is better than any other man's love.
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  Speaker 1: I will be worthy of it. The poor girl burst
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  Speaker 1: yet again into tears, not so bitter as before, and
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  Speaker 1: ended them all at once with a kiss to Mercy
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  Speaker 1: for his sake, she said, I am going to take
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  Speaker 1: care of Alister and you, thank you, thank you, Chrissy.
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  Speaker 1: Only you must not do anything to offend Papa. It
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  Speaker 1: is hard enough on him as it is. I cannot
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  Speaker 1: give up the chief to please him, for he has
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  Speaker 1: been a father to my better self. But we must
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  Speaker 1: do nothing to trouble him that we can help. End
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  Speaker 1: of Volume three, chapter ten. Recording by Hannah Mary