Latest / Legacy Living with Dr. Gloria Burgess / Servant Leadership: Della Reese | Episode #386

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Servant Leadership: Della Reese | Episode #386 · Legacy Living with Dr. Gloria Burgess

0:21
Hello, and welcome to today's show, Legacy Living, Make Your Life Count.
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I'm your host, Doctor Gloria Gloria Burgess, international leadership expert and trusted
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advisor. Welcome to Legacy Living, Make your Life Count. I'm so delighted
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that you joined me today. I have a special show for you. We
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are going to talk about leadership, a topic that is very near and dear
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to me. I am going to focus specific on authentic leadership. In other
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words, today's focus is all about being being true to who you are,
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being true to being yourself. Right now, today, I'm going to share
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with you a true story. This is a story about singer and actress Dela
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Reice Patricia Early Now. Many of us know her by her stage name Della
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Reese. Miss Reese was born in Detroit, Michigan. Now. Although she
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had siblings, she was actually raised as an only child. When she was
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very young, six years old to be exact, she began singing in her
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church, a beginning that would eventually lead her to become an avid gospel singer.
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On weekends, she and her mom would go to the movies. When
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she got home, Della was fond of acting out scenes from the various movies
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that she saw. Who knew that this would eventually lead her to a career
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that included radio, television, and films. In the mid forties, Della
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began her career directing the young people's choir at her church. While she was
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still in her early teens, she was hired to perform with one of the
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best known gospel singers in the world. That's where Della's life was touched by
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an angel. In her own words, here is Della's story. The summer
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I turned thirteen, I was given an opportunity that would ultimately shape my life.
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You might say I was in the right place at the right time.
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I prefer to think God sent an angel. I was chosen directress of the
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youth choir at the Church of Our Faith in Detroit. All the major gospel
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singers came to our church, the Soulsters, Mighty Clouds of Joy, Pilgrim
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travelers, but the most celebrated was Mahelia Jackson, the woman who would one
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day be known as the Queen of Gospel. That day, our church was
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packed to overflowing. Dressed in their Sunday finery, people cooled themselves with hand
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fans. I was to sing the first song of the concert, christ Is
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all excited. I began softly and built from them. I tore it down,
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and the youth choir was with me all the way. Then Michelia was
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introduced and started to sing. Tambourines were playing, people were clapping. Everyone
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was caught up in the joy of singing praise. The heat in the room
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rose along with the spirit. Suddenly, the lead soprano in Mehelia's group collapsed.
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A doctor discovered the soprano was pregnant. There were six weeks remaining on
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the group's tour, but the woman's husband was adamant. Did she not get
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back on the bus. Mehelio was going to need a replacement fast. Reverend
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Travis, one of our ministers, recommended that she take the soloists and directress
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of the youth thirteen year old Delaerice Early. Now, the challenge was to
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convince my mother. When Reverend Travis offered to speak to her, Mihelia decided
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to come as well. They walked the four blocks to our apartment building,
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me tagging behind them, praying all the way, Please God make Mamma let
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me go up the three flights of stairs. We climbed. Mama met us
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at the door good evening, Reverend Travis. She said, I'm always glad
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to see you. Her eyes let me know. She assumed that I had
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done something so wrong that the preacher had to bring me home to her.
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But the first words from Reverend Travis were, Missus Early, it's my honor
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to introduce you to miss Mahelia Jackson. I am the one being honored,
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my mother insisted. Now Mama started looking at me with those looks that could
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cut rock. It was clear she thought whatever it was I had done,
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I had done to the offense of Missus Jackson. The reverend made his case
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for letting me join the tour. My mother listened politely. Missus Early,
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I assure you, Mihelia spoke up. I will take personal good care of
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your daughter and see to it nothing happens to her. It will be a
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great learning experience for Dela Reese. The reverend added. Mamma was impassive.
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She said she would pray over it and let them know her decision in the
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morning. I barely slept that night. At breakfast, I crept into the
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kitchen, trying not to too hopeful or desperate. I made the coffee,
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set the table, and washed the dishes as Mama used them. My mother
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said nothing. My father came in for his breakfast. Afterward, Mama fixed
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us lunch, kissed him goodbye, and cleaned up the remaining dishes. I
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waited after what seemed an eternity. She said, we have to talk,
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and you know God is going to be talking right along with us. Didn't
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sound good. Mama took a drink of coffee. I didn't think you should
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go, but I asked the Lord to tell me if it wasn't right.
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He didn't. I exhaled a sigh of relief. I know this can be
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good for you. She went on. All I need is your honest word
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that you will do the best you can. I promised, and hugged and
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kissed her. I thanked God and everybody in the Bible, Reverend Travis and
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Miss Mahelia Jackson. When I finally quieted down, Mama said, and I
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will never forget these words. We don't need all of that. All we
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need is your honest word. And remember you won't just be giving it to
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me, you will be giving it to God too. I give you my
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honest word, I said, I'll do my best. Mihelia turned out to
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be twice as tough as my mama. Where are you going? What are
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you doing? Why are you wearing that? Things? Even Mama let me
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do on my own. Mehelia had to know about the music. However,
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more than lived up to my expectations. The crowds were sensational, and Mehelia
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was magnificent. Our last engagement, a grand Sunday afternoon tent revival, was
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in Chicago, Mehelia's hometown. This was going to be my chance to show
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what I could do. People from all over would be coming to hear Mahelia
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and me. In my mind, that was the group, Mahelia and me.
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The other three singers were just for background. When Mehelia called on me
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to start the program, I confidently began to walk the sawdust cover of the
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tent floor and do my thing, singing with all my might. Responses came
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from all around me. Amen, Hallelujah, Praise the Lord. I even
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heard Mahelia at her own sing child. Everyone was applauding wildly, asking for
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more. But that was it, my big solo. I had no other
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number. Thinking fast, I began to sing another chorus. I turned it
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out and tore it down, then sat down, smug as could be.
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When the crowd quieted down, Mahelia remained seated and began to moan, no
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words, no song in particular, just moaning low and deep, until she
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broke out and Precious Lord, take my hand. Mehelia sang the entire song
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seated. It seems she was speaking directly and only to God. The audience
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responded with reverence and awe. They got a different kind of feeling from Mehelia
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than from me. What was it she had that I didn't, I wondered.
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My voice was just as good. In fact, in my mind it
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was better because I could hit higher notes. It took two more summers of
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touring with Mahelia for me to realize just what that something was. My singing
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was enjoyable, rhythmic cute. Hers was a deep spiritual experience. She was
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worshiping God, and I was showing off. When Mehelia sings, said my
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mother, you can feel God in her. By the end of my third
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tour with Mihelia, I thought I had learned all there was to learn from
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her. I was wrong. One summer day, we arrived at a church
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in a field outside Richmond, Virginia. That night, the church overflowed with
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people. When it was my turn to sing, I started with all guns
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blasting. As I hit my high note and held it, I heard a
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note higher than mine, clear and powerful. Undaunted, I hit a higher
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note and held it. As I walked down the aisle, trying to see
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who was singing there in the back row, I saw a girl with braids,
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dressed in coveralls and a farm shirt. She smiled at me, still
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singing higher and higher until she hit a note that I couldn't even reach.
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Ooh, was I mad? Who did that? Country bumpkin thinks she was?
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When the program was finished, Mahelia talked to the girl and her mother.
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Seeing that, I stormed out to the car, where I sulked.
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Soon I heard Mahelia saying, there you are, Dela Reese. I look
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the other way. That was something, wasn't it? Mahelia said? Ain't
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it grand? The way God has of bringing up talent in the strangest places.
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I jutted out my chin and said, I guess now, you warn't
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her right? What makes you think that? Well? She sang higher than
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I did. It's not about how high you sing, it's about feeling the
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presence of God. I knew she was right, but I said nothing.
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Then Mihelia said sternly and directly, Dela Reese, You've got to get over
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your miss wonderful thing and just be who you are. You are not in
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competition. You are in God's service, she paused, smiling. Now be
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glad that he called you, but always remember you are not the only one
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he called. Now get out of this car and come meet this child.
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I followed Mahelia inside and went over to the girl, who asked how I
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sang so well. She didn't even know what a power how she was.
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Mahelia was my guiding angel, though I didn't know it at that time.
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The lesson I learned that night helps me to this day. I never could
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sing like some of the top artists who inspired me, Dinah Washington, Sarah
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Vaughan, Ella Fitzgerald. But you know what, they could not sing like
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me either. What I had was my own. Today, I'm free of
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the fears of my youth and settled in the assurance that comes only from surviving.
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And Mahelia's words have echoed throughout my life. You are in God's service.
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I just love that story. It provides a great example of what being
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authentic is all about, doesn't it, And what a great fit for today's
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topic, authentic leadership. Now, remember I said that earlier. Authentic means
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really being true to who you are are. It's all about being yourself.
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Now, it's been said, in a world where you can be anything,
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be yourself. So I know some of you are asking how does that work?
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I mean, it's not always easy to be yourself. In fact,
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for some of you, I know that being yourself is easier said than done.
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I hear you. I once taught in a graduate program where the entire
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focus of that program was helping my grad students become comfortable with being themselves.
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This was a program that equipped them to work in what we lovingly call the
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helping professions. So when they graduated, they would become consultants, therapists,
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nurses, educators, attorneys, assuming some kind of leadership role in their organization
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or community. Now, I know firsthand that being yourself can be quite challenging.
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Think about it. So many of us focus on pleasing other people in
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the process, we can easily lose track of who we are along the way.
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Now that's a pretty steep price to pay. Fortunately, there are many
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ways to get back on track with being who you are meant to be and
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to discover your strengths as well as you're growing edges. You can begin by
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asking yourself a few questions. Ask yourself, what's unique about me? What's
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unique about me? What makes me so special? Right? Another question to
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ask is what are my top three strengths? Another question, what do I
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enjoy doing so much that I lose all track of time? What do I
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enjoy doing so much much that I lose track of time? How about this
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question, what do I enjoy so much I would do it for free?
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And another question to ask is what am I curious about now? Any one
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of those questions can help you figure out who you are really, who you
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are at the core, what is your authentic self right now? These questions
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are important. They are designed to help you reconnect with what's meaningful to you
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and to help you reconnect with who you are to fully claim your glorious self,
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your magnificence. Now. There are few critical skills that we all need,
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skills that will support you in truly being yourself, not only as a
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leader, but in all other realms of your life. Are those skills,
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Well, there are four of them, four that I want to shed the
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light on today, and these are essential. Now. I actually write about
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these skills in one of my books. It's called Flawless leadership, connecting who
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you are with what you know and do. So here are the four skills.
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The first one is self awareness. That's right, that's a skill,
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self awareness. The second one is openness. The next one transparency and curiosity.
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Now let's start with self awareness. Being yourself actually begins here, okay.
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It begins with self awareness, the conscious knowledge of your own desires,
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feelings, motives, thoughts, and traits. This skill also includes the capacity
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for introspection, for looking inward another one words, and the capacity for reflection.
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Okay, Now, this skill of self awareness is vital to your ability
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to ignite, influence, and inspire others. When you are self aware,
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you will be better equipped to embrace, reflect on, and use your unique
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strengths, talents, and gifts. You will be able to recognize what drives
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you and what gives you energy, focus, and purpose. You will also
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be able to develop and clearly communicate your vision. Right now, Why is
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this important? Because you will be able to inspire your team or your organization
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to take meaningful action. Now, this is essential whether you are leading at
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work or in your family. The next skill is openness. Now, this
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skill is often misunderstood because we confuse openness with self disclosure. Openness simply means
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being able to internally recognize, being able to freely access, and then being
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able to appropriately express your feelings and thoughts without being defensive. Right now,
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this sounds pretty straightforward. I'm going to repeat those things again. Openness simply
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means being able to internally recognize, freely access, and appropriately express your feelings
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and thoughts without being defensive. Pretty simple, right. However, demonstrating this
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skill in the moment can be quite challenging. In fact, it can be
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downright difficult. Why because when we're triggered by someone or something and we don't
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realize it, we can easily respond inappropriately and defensively right in that split second,
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In that nano second, right we become temporarily immobilized. We actually freeze,
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which impairs our ability to internally recognize, freely access, and appropriately express
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our feelings and thoughts without being defensive. We've all been there, right.
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The key is to develop your ability to self regulate so that when you're emotionally
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triggered by something or someone, you can consciously manage your own reactivity. This
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is one of the many aspects of what we call emotional intelligence. Now,
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the third skill is transparency. Transparency allows leaders to make information that is normally
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selective, okay, normally seen by only a few people. These leaders allow
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that kind of information that's selective, okay, information to be available to all
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as appropriate. An example is providing insight into a leader's decision making process.
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Providing such insight can be very helpful during times of change and transition. And
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we're always going through some kind of change or transition, right. I remember
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in one company I worked for, the staff learned that we were going to
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be bought out. We were going to be acquired by a rival company.
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Now, the staff were intensely loyal to this organization that we worked for,
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right, including me, and not surprise, when we heard the news about
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being bought out by another company, we were all just kind of wobbly,
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right, shaken, shaken to the core. It seemed as though we were
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being taken off guard, blindsided, right, as if no one had seen
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this coming. However, the really senior staff had seen it coming, even
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though they couldn't reveal the specifics until after the buyout, after the acquisition was
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complete. Now many of us have heard something like this information information is the
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solar energy of an organization. In other words, even a little bit of
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transparency will go a long way. Now, the need for transparency has never
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been greater in our organizations and communities and families act as old, outworn containing
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structures and systems and hierarchies continue to dissolve, and as our organizations and communities
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struggle to survive. Leaders must be equipped to fill the void in a world
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what we call a VUCA world VUC A right where volatility, uncertainty, ambiguity,
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and chaos are becoming the norm. Such leaders will be equipped to support
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their organizations, their communities, and their families to adapt, innovate, and
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flourish. Now that fourth skill, curiosity, let's talk about that. Leaders
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who are curious are inquisitive, avid learners who desire to learn or know more.
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They actively and vigorously cultivate and nurture and leverage the skill of curiosity.
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You know what, even though we're naturally curious as children, as we grow
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older, we may not necessarily retain our curiosity. I remember as a little
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girl, my family moved from rural Mississippi to the inner city of Detroit,
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Michigan, and we lived in some pretty rough neighborhoods okay. Now, during
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the hot, humid summers, instead of playing outside with the other kids,
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I had to go to school. Unlike most kids who attend summer school because
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they flunked a course, I went to summer school because my dad said so.
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He actually mandated it. He was the headmaster. Our house was the
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classroom, and my sister and I were his pupils. So every day,
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while our friends played outside our house, in the street or in the yard,
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we completed our daily lessons. Now we studied hard, me and my
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sisters to pass the tests that Daddy gave us after dinner. During those Detroit
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summers and for years afterwards. I remember asking my dad about particular words or
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concepts that interested me, and without fail, Daddy always said, look it
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up, look it up. Can I just tell you something. This is
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not what a young person wants to hear. But as a dutiful daughter,
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I always followed my father's advice. Now was my dad being mean? When
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I admit that's what I thought, though I had the good sense to keep
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it to myself, right, So what was he doing? My dad was
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actually helping me cultivate an appetite for curiosity. He was instilling in me and
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my sisters the awareness, knowledge, skills, and resourcefulness for life long learning.
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And you know what, it worked. I became very good at being
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curious and quite skilled in satisfying my curiosity. In fact, I became a
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voracious learner. The more I learned, the more I wanted to learn,
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and the more curious I became. Now, as a visual learner, I
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was very good at memorizing words and their definitions. I was fascinated to learn
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that some writers had a knack for arranging words in such a way that their
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work I just came alive. It just kind of leaped up off the page
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right, while other writers were just, I don't know, just downright dull
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and boring. Although I didn't realize it at the time, I was actually
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learning about the writer's voice, about the writer's tone, and about the writer's
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style. Looking up words and other concepts stimulated my thinking, fueled my appetite
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for learning, and spurred my lifelong curiosity. Cultivating the skill of being curious
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also expanded my world far beyond the one I knew the six square blocks of
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my neighborhood in East Detroit. Being curious, along with other qualities of being
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has opened so many doors and so many opportunities to build relationships, to be
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able to work with people that I would never have otherwise met, and to
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serve people in over thirty countries on six continents. So what am I saying
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here? I am saying that the skills of self awareness, openness, transparency,
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and curiosity are the foundation stones for developing personal mastery. They are the
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foundation stone for becoming yourself. Each skill is distinct, and each one is
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essential. Each skill builds on itself and all of the other skills together they
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work in concert to support you in being who you truly are. Now,
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for those of you listening today all around the world, if you want to
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make your life count, if you want to be the change you seek,
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remember this. How you live is how you lead. That's right, How
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you live is how you lead. It's how you do everything. You have
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the power to make our world a better place by showing up and showing up
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in your own two shoes. Showing up as your authentic self. All right,
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now, I want you to be sure to listen to this show again
31:44
and again, and hey, be sure to tell somebody. You can find
31:48
me right here on iTunes, Audible, Alexa, SoundCloud, iHeart, tune
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In, Spreaker, dot Com, Talk Network, Rate and so many other
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places. Now, if you happen to miss any part of this week's show,
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or if you missed last week's show, you can simply download the recording
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and listen to it at your convenience. You can even listen to it on
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the go. Check us out at www dot talknetwork Radio dot com, Forward
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Slash Hosts, Forward Slash Legacy Living. That's Talknetwork Radio dot com. Forward
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Slash Hosts, Forward Slash Legacy Living. You can learn more about my work
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and Legacy Living. Make your life count by visiting the Gloria Burgess website,
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and that's very easy. It's Gloria Burgess dot com. And as I've mentioned
32:52
before, if you love to be inspired, you can actually subscribe to my
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inspirations right on my website. Just scroll down a little bit look on the
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my weekly inspirations it's that simple. Each week you get a lovely photograph and
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a short quotation that inspires you, or by visiting me on LinkedIn or Facebook,
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and on Facebook you can find me at Facebook dot com forward slash dr
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for doctor Dr Gloria Burgess, pH D. You can also find me on
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the TEDx site and listen to one of my ted Talks. Just type in
33:37
my name to find me there. Before I close today's show, I want
33:45
to thank each of you for tuning in today for allowing me to share a
33:49
bit about my journey with what Legacy living is all about, not just living
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and learning, but living, learning and serving so that you make a difference
34:01
in your own life and in the lives of other people. It's about being
34:07
on purpose every single day. Three sixty five twenty four seven. Legacy Living
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is a powerful way to make your life count. Once again, I want
34:23
to thank you for joining me for today's show. I'm your host, doctor
34:29
Gloria Gloria Burgess, and this is Legacy Living. Make your Life count.
34:37
Please join me again next time right here on Talk Network Radio for another show
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of legacy living. Make your life count. Don't just count the days in
34:51
your life, make the days in your life count. That's what legacy living
34:58
is all about. Have a fantastic day and remember make the days in your
35:06
life count. God bless that's our show today. I'm your host, Doctor
35:25
Gloria Gloria Burgess. I hope you'll join me again next time. Until then,
35:34
don't just count the days in your life. Make the days in your
35:37
life count. That's what legacy living is all about. Here's to you.
35:44
Have a fantastic day and be sure to make it a yes kind of day.
35:50
Remember to celebrate the music of your life. Make the days in your
35:59
life. Cult