Latest / Marriage Life and More and Bible Study / Spiritual Warfare in Marriage (Marriage as a Mission) Pt 1 - 347

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Spiritual Warfare in Marriage (Marriage as a Mission) Pt 1 - 347 · Marriage Life and More and Bible Study

• 0:07
  Daniel Moore: If you've been married longer than about 14 minutes, you already know this truth.
• 0:11
  Daniel Moore: Sometimes the biggest arguments start over the smallest things.
• 0:15
  Daniel Moore: One minute, you and your spouse are happily eating dinner, and the next minute you're in a passionate theological debate over who keeps leaving the lights on all the time in every room.
• 0:24
  Daniel Moore: Somehow a forgotten trash bag and unentered text or a tone of voice can escalate into a conversation that suddenly includes phrases like, you always, and that's not the point.
• 0:35
  Daniel Moore: Marriage has a funny way of turning everyday moments into emotional obstacle courses.
• 0:39
  Daniel Moore: But what if some of those moments are more than just stress, personality differences, or lack of sleep?
• 0:45
  Daniel Moore: What if there's a deeper spiritual battle happening underneath the surface that we don't always recognize in the moment?
• 0:51
  Daniel Moore: This week's episode we're pulling back the curtain on spiritual warfare in marriage.
• 0:55
  Daniel Moore: Not the dramatic movie version with creepy music and flying furniture, but the subtle kind that slips quietly into miscommunication, pride, emotional distance, busyness, offense, and isolation.
• 1:07
  Daniel Moore: The enemy doesn't need to destroy a marriage overnight if he can slowly weaken it through unresolved hurt and constant distraction.
• 1:14
  Daniel Moore: But here's the good news: God never intended for us to fight these battles alone.
• 1:19
  Daniel Moore: He's given us spiritual weapons, biblical wisdom, and the armor of God to help protect the unity that he designed into marriage.
• 1:26
  Daniel Moore: So this week we're gonna laugh a little, get honest about the real struggles couples face, and learn how to stop fighting against each other and start fighting for each other.
• 1:34
  Daniel Moore: Because your spouse is not the enemy, even if they still load the dishwasher like a raccoon digging through a dumpster.
• 1:41
  Daniel Moore: Welcome to Marriage Life and More.
• 1:46
  Daniel Moore: This is a podcast about marriage, Bible, and book studies.
• 1:48
  Daniel Moore: Wonder if you build have inspiring stories.
• 1:50
  Daniel Moore: I'm Daniel Moore, your host.
• 1:51
  Daniel Moore: Over here next to me is my beautiful co-host, my wife Michelle.
• 1:54
  Michelle Moore: Hey, hey.
• 1:55
  Daniel Moore: Thank you guys for joining us this week.
• 1:57
  Daniel Moore: If you're not familiar with our show, check out our website at marriagelifeandmore.com for the links to our platforms.
• 2:02
  Daniel Moore: We're also on YouTube and Rumble.
• 2:03
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• 2:06
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• 2:10
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• 2:13
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• 2:14
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• 2:17
  Daniel Moore: And we'd be thankful to you for doing that.
• 2:20
  Daniel Moore: Well, this week we're going to be getting into episode 10, as we finished up with episode 9 last week in our series on marriage as a mission.
• 2:30
  Daniel Moore: We also want to let you know that you can visit our website at connectingthegap.net for this resource.
• 2:35
  Daniel Moore: This book is there with the six session study guide.
• 2:39
  Daniel Moore: And you can pick those up there on the website on Amazon or different places online.
• 2:43
  Daniel Moore: We also have a new book available at this time.
• 2:46
  Daniel Moore: It's a uh verse by verse study, the book of Isaiah.
• 2:49
  Daniel Moore: And we finally got that one released for the first 39 chapters.
• 2:53
  Daniel Moore: We're now putting the uh chapters 40 through 66 together, so that'll be out at a later date.
• 2:59
  Daniel Moore: But you can also go check that on our website as well.
• 3:02
  Daniel Moore: All of those are available at connectingthegap.net.
• 3:05
  Daniel Moore: Well, we've covered lots and lots of territory so far as we've been moving through this series on marriage as a mission.
• 3:12
  Daniel Moore: And this week we come up to one of my favorite chapters that's in this book, and we're going to be talking about spiritual warfare in marriage.
• 3:20
  Daniel Moore: You know, sometimes we get in these little tiffs and these arguments, and they just don't seem like there's a resolution, and we want to blame each other.
• 3:27
  Daniel Moore: But you know, there might be another sinister reason behind that of why that's going on.
• 3:31
  Daniel Moore: So we're going to dig into that a little deeper this week and next week as we get into episode 10, Spiritual Warfare in Marriage.
• 3:39
  Daniel Moore: If you've ever found yourself in a full-blown marital debate over something as life-altering as the correct direction of the toilet paper roll, over or under, and somehow ended up questioning your entire relationship 20 minutes later, welcome to marriage.
• 4:08
  Daniel Moore: One minute you're discussing bathroom supplies, the next minute somebody's bringing up something that happened in 2017.
• 4:14
  Daniel Moore: It escalates fast, doesn't it?
• 4:17
  Daniel Moore: But beneath those everyday disagreements, there's often something deeper happening that we don't always recognize in the moment.
• 4:24
  Daniel Moore: Spiritual warfare in marriage.
• 4:26
  Daniel Moore: Now before you picture dramatic movie scenes with creepy music and flickering candles, let's clear something up.
• 4:32
  Daniel Moore: Spiritual warfare usually doesn't show up looking spooky or sensational.
• 4:36
  Daniel Moore: Most of the time it slips quietly into everyday life.
• 4:40
  Daniel Moore: It hides inside assumptions, hurt feelings, miscommunication, pride, exhaustion, and unresolved frustration.
• 4:48
  Daniel Moore: The enemy rarely needs fireworks when he can work through sarcasm, silence, resentment, or emotional distance.
• 4:55
  Daniel Moore: A cold shoulder after an argument can sometimes do more damage than a screaming match.
• 5:01
  Daniel Moore: And this is one area that I think even as we look back into our marriage, I think we had a lot of spiritual warfare going on at different times when we were having some of our issues.
• 5:14
  Daniel Moore: And I think that, you know, this is one of those areas as well that I think is really easily overlooked.
• 5:21
  Daniel Moore: Because a lot of times when we go through these issues and these problems, we're always looking for something to blame or someone to blame for all of that.
• 5:31
  Daniel Moore: But it seems like a lot of times we never really realize or or seem to notice that, you know, maybe Satan's at play here a little bit.
• 5:39
  Daniel Moore: Maybe we've had a breakthrough in the last week or two or something, and God started to use us for a purpose or a testimony that we've got.
• 5:47
  Daniel Moore: Maybe we've we've shared that with someone and we're having some good progress with another couple that's going through some things.
• 5:54
  Daniel Moore: Satan doesn't like that.
• 5:55
  Daniel Moore: You know, when he sees unity in a marriage and he sees that things are going God's way and the biblical way in marriages, the first thing he wants to do is stick his nose right in the middle of that and start wrestling the waters just a little bit and creating some issues and some drama.
• 6:12
  Daniel Moore: And if we're not careful, if we don't stay prayed up, I think we can miss that valid point.
• 6:18
  Daniel Moore: And then we're in essence sitting there fighting this battle, trying to, you know, fix the issue and whatever it may be with all the wrong weapons, you know, or looking at the other direction at what we think's the issue, and we're totally not realizing that Satan's over here, you know, dealing with all of this.
• 6:37
  Daniel Moore: So as we get started here, um, I'm gonna go ahead and let you start with the first point that we're going to discuss here.
• 6:45
  Michelle Moore: Okay, the enemy's favorite strategy is turning small moments into permanent distance.
• 6:50
  Michelle Moore: That's why marriage becomes such a significant battlefield.
• 6:54
  Michelle Moore: Marriage isn't just a legal agreement or a social arrangement, it's sacred.
• 6:59
  Michelle Moore: According to Ephesians 5, chapter 5, 31 and 32, marriage reflects the relationship between Christ and his church.
• 7:09
  Michelle Moore: Think about that for a moment.
• 7:11
  Michelle Moore: Your marriage is designed to display love, covenant, grace, sacrifice, unity, and faithfulness to the world around you.
• 7:21
  Michelle Moore: So naturally, the enemy targets it aggressively.
• 7:25
  Michelle Moore: If he can divide a husband and wife, he can weaken the home, discourage the children, distort God's design, and slowly chip away at faith itself.
• 7:35
  Michelle Moore: And honestly, most attacks don't begin with catastrophic failure.
• 7:41
  Michelle Moore: They begin with neglect.
• 7:43
  Michelle Moore: A little less patience here, a little more criticism there, a few more nights of emotional disconnection, one spouse starts feeling unheard.
• 7:53
  Michelle Moore: The other starts feeling unappreciated.
• 7:56
  Michelle Moore: Before long, two people who once couldn't stop talking now communicate mostly through size, grocery list, and passive aggressive dishwasher commentary.
• 8:08
  Daniel Moore: So as we look at this point here, I think that a lot of times, you know, a lot of spouses have communication issues, and we do, we criticize or pass judgment a lot of times in our marriages.
• 8:23
  Daniel Moore: And I don't think sometimes, you know, when whenever we look at the Bible, the Bible tells us that God is love, right?
• 8:30
  Michelle Moore: Right.
• 8:31
  Daniel Moore: And so whenever we treat our spouses with love and we are patient with them, we are kind with them, then we are being Christ-like in our relationship.
• 8:43
  Daniel Moore: And in essence, we are probably striving to be Christ-centered in our marriage.
• 8:49
  Daniel Moore: But how easy is it to fall off that bandwagon and get in the gutter and get into these arguments and these frustrating conversations?
• 8:59
  Daniel Moore: And the first thing that happens is Satan starts putting playing in our in our playground, our mind.
• 9:06
  Michelle Moore: Yeah.
• 9:06
  Daniel Moore: He starts getting in there, putting these little thoughts in.
• 9:09
  Daniel Moore: And, you know, I think I think everybody deals with that, you know.
• 9:14
  Daniel Moore: Um not only does he deal with our us as far as our relationship goes, but he constantly attacks us just individually.
• 9:22
  Michelle Moore: Yeah.
• 9:22
  Daniel Moore: You know, there's times that I've wondered, you know, does Michelle deserve me?
• 9:29
  Daniel Moore: You know, it was the things that I've done, should she really forgive me for what I've done?
• 9:33
  Daniel Moore: Uh, you know, I know other couples that have, you know, I'm not good enough.
• 9:39
  Daniel Moore: Uh, you should have married that person, you'd have been a lot better, a lot further along.
• 9:43
  Daniel Moore: You know, I don't think a lot of those comments are really just idle comments sometimes.
• 9:48
  Daniel Moore: I think sometimes Satan's kind of stirring that pot a little bit, and he's the one because because God speaks over us for who we are.
• 9:56
  Daniel Moore: Right.
• 9:57
  Daniel Moore: You know, we are created in his image.
• 9:59
  Daniel Moore: And when, you know, God calls us by our name, he knows who we are inside and out.
• 10:05
  Daniel Moore: Yep.
• 10:05
  Daniel Moore: Where Satan wants to call us by the things that he wants us to think we are.
• 10:09
  Michelle Moore: That's good.
• 10:10
  Daniel Moore: And that can roll over into our marriage as well.
• 10:13
  Daniel Moore: And, you know, there's times that if we get into big issues and it starts happening repetitively, we start feeling like we become a burden, you know, to our spouse and that kind of thing because it seems like we're just, you know, there's constantly that it seems like there's no happiness in the home.
• 10:29
  Daniel Moore: You know, there's just a lot of stuff going on.
• 10:31
  Daniel Moore: Satan loves that kind of an atmosphere.
• 10:33
  Daniel Moore: He thrives in it.
• 10:35
  Daniel Moore: And, you know, he wants us to fight against each other.
• 10:38
  Daniel Moore: So his strategy, you know, like it says, he doesn't just come in and just all, you know, this big old humongous blow-up dynamite thing happens every time when he gets in the middle of things.
• 10:48
  Daniel Moore: He starts with the little nitpicky things, right?
• 10:50
  Daniel Moore: The little small stuff that we don't really think about because we're human.
• 10:54
  Daniel Moore: And so we have these ways that we we react to each other sometimes.
• 10:58
  Daniel Moore: If we're not careful, if we're in a bad mood, you know, we've had a bad day.
• 11:02
  Daniel Moore: Uh maybe something at work took place that just really irked us, or something that's been happening on a regular basis that's just building.
• 11:10
  Daniel Moore: You know, after a while, that becomes a huge burden on some people, and then they start losing a little bit of control, and then it can start slipping into their home life.
• 11:18
  Daniel Moore: They start bringing that stuff home, and then you start seeing little things between each other.
• 11:22
  Daniel Moore: You see things happening in the stability of the home.
• 11:26
  Daniel Moore: And that's where that's just Satan.
• 11:28
  Daniel Moore: He's in there working around and all that, and he takes pride in being able to take these little bitty things and make them big.
• 11:34
  Daniel Moore: I mean, back, you know, looking at where we came from at this point, you know, how our marriage started, how did we get to where we were when it was so bad?
• 11:43
  Michelle Moore: It it was little stuff, and little stuff that we created in ourselves, but I saw I think also the enemy worked worked with some of those things that we did, and then the enemy didn't want to see us love each other again.
• 11:57
  Michelle Moore: Right.
• 11:57
  Michelle Moore: So he worked extra hard to keep us from being together.
• 12:01
  Daniel Moore: Yeah.
• 12:02
  Daniel Moore: And the longer that both of us went without seeing what was going on, you know, we really concentrated on ourselves individually for our happiness.
• 12:10
  Daniel Moore: There's a little bit of pride in there, I think.
• 12:12
  Daniel Moore: I know I can I can definitely say that from my side of it.
• 12:15
  Michelle Moore: Yeah, same here.
• 12:16
  Daniel Moore: And, you know, he took advantage of that and he made those little things become bigger and bigger and bigger, which then that division between us got wider and wider and wider.
• 12:26
  Daniel Moore: And that's that's what that's his goal, that's what he's after.
• 12:29
  Daniel Moore: And you know, this carries on into the fact that a marriage rarely falls apart in one moment, it drifts apart in unguarded ones.
• 12:36
  Daniel Moore: If you look at Song of Solomon chapter two and verse 15, it warned us about those little foxes that spoil the vineyards, and we've talked about that before.
• 12:42
  Daniel Moore: Um that's a very good scripture to to relate to when you have these issues going on in your marriage that these small things and you don't fix them, this is what's gonna happen.
• 12:54
  Daniel Moore: Yeah, those little those are little foxes, and they're gonna spoil everything.
• 12:58
  Daniel Moore: It's often the little things left unchecked that slowly create larger destruction.
• 13:02
  Daniel Moore: Not every conflict is spiritual warfare, but every conflict becomes an opportunity for either division or unity.
• 13:09
  Daniel Moore: The enemy loves to whisper lies during those moments.
• 13:11
  Daniel Moore: He'll say things like, You're not appreciated.
• 13:14
  Daniel Moore: They'll never change.
• 13:15
  Daniel Moore: You deserve better.
• 13:17
  Daniel Moore: Why even try anymore?
• 13:19
  Daniel Moore: But when we look at Jesus, he speaks to us differently.
• 13:22
  Daniel Moore: He calls us toward forgiveness, humility, gentleness, and reconciliation.
• 13:27
  Daniel Moore: Colossians 3 13 reminds us to bear with each other and forgive one another.
• 13:32
  Daniel Moore: And you know, a lot of times we hear that in church, and it sounds beautiful in that atmosphere, but it hits differently when your spouse forgot the thing you reminded them about three times already, or when they say, I'm listening while staring directly at a football game replay.
• 13:46
  Daniel Moore: And if we're honest, you know, marriage has a funny way of exposing what's already inside us.
• 13:50
  Daniel Moore: Sometimes the argument isn't really about the laundry basket sitting three feet from the hamper.
• 13:55
  Daniel Moore: Sometimes it's about stress, or it's fear, maybe feeling unseen.
• 13:59
  Daniel Moore: Even old wounds can bring this stuff back up.
• 14:02
  Daniel Moore: And of course, the big one pride, insecurity, exhaustion.
• 14:07
  Daniel Moore: You know, marriage acts like a mirror, and occasionally we don't like the reflection staring back at us.
• 14:13
  Daniel Moore: And I think with our emotions, the way that we're created, the way that we're made up, it's so easy for us to lose control sometimes when we have other factors out there weighing on us as a weight on our shoulders.
• 14:27
  Michelle Moore: Yeah.
• 14:28
  Daniel Moore: And, you know, even looking back at our example again, you know, as we kept going through the things we were going through and we kept digging that ditch deeper, that weight on our shoulders kept getting heavier and heavier.
• 14:40
  Daniel Moore: And that in essence, since we weren't really trying to take care of that with each other, we were trying to fix it on our own.
• 14:47
  Daniel Moore: And every little thing that we did to each other, that we said to each other, just kept adding to that load.
• 14:53
  Daniel Moore: And it just kept kept, you know, driving us further apart.
• 14:55
  Daniel Moore: Right.
• 14:56
  Daniel Moore: And then, you know, that's when the spiritual warfare starts happening in our minds.
• 15:01
  Daniel Moore: We start getting all these thoughts.
• 15:02
  Daniel Moore: So go ahead and carry on there with the next one.
• 15:05
  Michelle Moore: What irritates us most in conflict often reveals what God wants to heal most within us.
• 15:10
  Michelle Moore: That's why it's so important to remember this truth.
• 15:13
  Michelle Moore: Your spouse is not your enemy, not during the argument, not during the misunderstanding, and not during the silent card ride home.
• 15:23
  Michelle Moore: Not even during the I'm fine conversation that every married person knows absolutely does not mean fine.
• 15:30
  Michelle Moore: Ephesians 6 12 reminds us that we wrestle not against flesh and blood.
• 15:37
  Michelle Moore: The real battle is not husband versus wife, it's truth versus lies, unity versus division, grace versus bitterness.
• 15:47
  Michelle Moore: The enemy wants the couples fighting each other while ignoring the real spiritual battle underneath.
• 15:54
  Michelle Moore: But here's the good news: God has never asked us to fight alone.
• 15:59
  Michelle Moore: He has given us the spiritual armor for this very purpose.
• 16:03
  Michelle Moore: Truth when lies creep in, peace when emotions flare up, prayer when communication breaks down, humility when pride rises, grace when frustration boils over.
• 16:16
  Michelle Moore: The tools God provides are incredibly practical, even in everyday marriage moments.
• 16:23
  Michelle Moore: Sometimes spiritual warfare looks like shouting prayers for hours and more like choosing patience when you're irritated.
• 16:32
  Michelle Moore: Sometimes it's apologizing first.
• 16:35
  Michelle Moore: Sometimes it's praying together when you'd rather stay offended.
• 16:39
  Michelle Moore: Sometimes it's choosing connection over being right.
• 16:43
  Daniel Moore: You know, as we work with couples and we've been in their same shoes before also, where they're just constantly nitpicking at each other and constantly fighting at each other.
• 16:53
  Daniel Moore: Uh we have to remind them sometimes as you know, as the mentors, as we're sitting there talking with them, we have to remind them, you know, several times throughout the process of going through the curriculum that your spy your spouse isn't your enemy.
• 17:10
  Daniel Moore: You know, we have to bring that up quite often because it's you know, it's interesting how us, the way that we're created and the way that we're built on the inside, that it's easy for us to look at our spouse when we're in a fighting mood and things are not going our way, the heat of the moment, and we just want to attack.
• 17:31
  Daniel Moore: And that's not how marriage is supposed to be.
• 17:34
  Daniel Moore: God did not create marriage to be that way.
• 17:37
  Daniel Moore: He created marriage for us to be in unity and not have the division.
• 17:41
  Daniel Moore: He treated, he created us to have grace, like he shows us grace and not let that bitterness grow.
• 17:48
  Daniel Moore: If we let that bitterness grow, we know what's going to happen with that.
• 17:52
  Daniel Moore: Um, you're gonna get to a point where you're gonna hate that person.
• 17:55
  Daniel Moore: Yep.
• 17:55
  Daniel Moore: You know, there was a time when you had, you know, tons of bitterness towards me and you had some not so nice thoughts about me.
• 18:02
  Daniel Moore: You know, and that's exactly where that heads when that happens.
• 18:08
  Daniel Moore: And, you know, if you look back at where we came from and the things that you had to fight through to get to where we're at now, do you see moments where the armor of God came into uh a spot where it helped you?
• 18:22
  Daniel Moore: You see the different things that we get with that armor and where maybe where you applied it?
• 18:27
  Michelle Moore: Definitely later on, after you know, we kind of resolved some stuff and everything, because if not, it was, you know, I I was doing things in myself, the pride that I wanted to correct everything or blame you for stuff.
• 18:43
  Michelle Moore: I had to take a look, a hard look at myself.
• 18:46
  Michelle Moore: But you know, the words that I was saying saying, first of all, they weren't good words, like so, you know, speaking anything not lifting you up was definitely not the right thing to do.
• 19:00
  Michelle Moore: And now putting the armor on, I don't allow the enemy to cross that path.
• 19:06
  Daniel Moore: Right.
• 19:07
  Michelle Moore: I can usually always tell when he does because my mind goes automatically to criticism and disappointment and unmet expectations.
• 19:18
  Michelle Moore: And I'm like, wait a minute, there was no communication and why am I criticizing?
• 19:23
  Michelle Moore: That's coming from something the unmet expectation.
• 19:26
  Michelle Moore: I haven't I haven't even told you that yet, you know.
• 19:28
  Michelle Moore: So I have to stop and think, and you know, you our marriage is not like that, you know, and I know that's the enemy trying to trip me up and to you know to fight you.
• 19:39
  Michelle Moore: Yeah, I just punch you out is what I would do.
• 19:43
  Daniel Moore: No, punch me in the face.
• 19:44
  Daniel Moore: Yes, that you said.
• 19:48
  Michelle Moore: You made me feel bad about it because I'm like, I am not a mean person and you're always teasing me about it.
• 19:54
  Michelle Moore: And I'm like, okay, yes, I do say that.
• 19:56
  Michelle Moore: I probably shouldn't say that anymore.
• 19:58
  Michelle Moore: But but honestly, you can definitely tell when your armor's up.
• 20:02
  Daniel Moore: Yeah.
• 20:02
  Daniel Moore: And next week we're gonna actually get into the armor of God.
• 20:06
  Daniel Moore: I don't think a lot of couples realize that that they don't apply that to marriage.
• 20:10
  Daniel Moore: You know, we look at the armor of God and we think, you know, we're out there fighting this battle as a Christian, and God's gonna give us all these different parts of the armor so that we can fight Satan, you know.
• 20:20
  Daniel Moore: But there's a huge opportunity to use that within the aspect of marriage.
• 20:26
  Daniel Moore: And, you know, we both can look at that looking back, we can see where we've put those different pieces of armor into play.
• 20:34
  Michelle Moore: Yeah.
• 20:34
  Daniel Moore: And we'll get into that next week.
• 20:35
  Daniel Moore: But what we have to remember is that winning an argument is meaningless if you lose intimacy in the process.
• 20:42
  Daniel Moore: You know, one of the most powerful things that a married couple can do is refuse to let conflict become division.
• 20:47
  Daniel Moore: Healthy couples don't avoid conflict.
• 20:50
  Daniel Moore: They learn how to fight for each other instead of against each other.
• 20:53
  Daniel Moore: That takes intentionality, it takes maturity.
• 20:57
  Daniel Moore: And sometimes it takes taking a deep breath before responding to your spouse's tone at 10:30 at night when everyone's tired and nobody should be discussing important, you know, conflicting things anyway.
• 21:08
  Daniel Moore: You know, Proverbs 15:1 says a gentle answer turns away wrath, and that verse alone could probably save half of our late-night arguments.
• 21:16
  Daniel Moore: If we're honest, sometimes we're not trying to solve the problem, we're trying to win the courtroom case we created in our head five minutes earlier.
• 21:23
  Daniel Moore: And I see so many times where we do lose intimacy when we argue.
• 21:29
  Daniel Moore: Because if we're in one of those types of arguments where both spouses constantly lose, neither one of you can come to a place where you can agree to disagree and move on and feel like that, you know, neither one of us probably really won this argument, but we're okay with where it's landed.
• 21:45
  Daniel Moore: Let's just move forward, put this in God's hands, and we'll just pray through this thing and keep building our marriage, keep being positive with where we're at.
• 21:55
  Michelle Moore: I like that little comment.
• 21:57
  Michelle Moore: Uh, just pretty much.
• 21:59
  Michelle Moore: When it was says because if we're honest, sometimes we're not trying to solve the problem.
• 22:03
  Michelle Moore: We forgot all about the problem, but we're trying to ru win the courtroom case that we created in our head.
• 22:09
  Michelle Moore: And you really think about it.
• 22:11
  Michelle Moore: We created it.
• 22:13
  Michelle Moore: Yeah.
• 22:13
  Michelle Moore: As in, like if me and you were fighting, I created that already.
• 22:17
  Michelle Moore: I lost the problem.
• 22:18
  Michelle Moore: I want to go on something totally different.
• 22:20
  Michelle Moore: And those thoughts are in my head.
• 22:23
  Daniel Moore: Yeah.
• 22:23
  Michelle Moore: So I think sometimes when we allow those courtroom cases to come up, we have to stop and think about like, is this of the Lord?
• 22:32
  Michelle Moore: Is this where the Lord is leading me to?
• 22:34
  Michelle Moore: Or is this me, myself, and my pride?
• 22:36
  Michelle Moore: Because I know there's times that when we discuss things, or like if we have just a minor disagreement, you can be talking to me and I've already checked out, and I'm already on something totally different that I'm gonna say to you because earlier you made me upset over something stupid.
• 22:55
  Michelle Moore: Yeah.
• 22:56
  Michelle Moore: And lost track of what we were even talking about or fighting about, and we're on something totally different.
• 23:02
  Daniel Moore: Yeah.
• 23:03
  Michelle Moore: The enemy is sly, he knows how to work those thoughts sometimes.
• 23:07
  Michelle Moore: And he just pumps in there and he's just like, Michelle, Michelle, Daniel said this, Daniel said that.
• 23:14
  Michelle Moore: And I'm like, hmm, no, really.
• 23:16
  Michelle Moore: But he did.
• 23:17
  Michelle Moore: So then it's like twisting a little bit more.
• 23:20
  Michelle Moore: And then I'm like, oh, you did.
• 23:23
  Michelle Moore: And I'm like trying to respond back to you on something totally different.
• 23:27
  Michelle Moore: Because I think a lot of couples can get into trouble when their our their mind is already on something else and forgot about the problem.
• 23:35
  Michelle Moore: But now they're gonna create another problem.
• 23:37
  Daniel Moore: Yeah.
• 23:38
  Daniel Moore: And the Bible tells us in many places that if we respond with kindness, it changes the atmosphere in the room.
• 23:44
  Daniel Moore: And I think a lot of times we forget about that because we want to be right so bad.
• 23:49
  Michelle Moore: Well, I think people want to win the battle.
• 23:51
  Michelle Moore: That's right.
• 23:52
  Michelle Moore: Because kindness does not come up when you're disagreeing.
• 23:55
  Daniel Moore: Right.
• 23:55
  Daniel Moore: Yep.
• 23:56
  Michelle Moore: I mean, I think that's as we were talking earlier, we were just talking about something today that that had happened, and Dan was talking about marriages and how God is the foundation of marriage, which most people do that, but they don't apply it.
• 24:11
  Michelle Moore: And so if you really think about it, our marriage is uh an example of God Himself.
• 24:17
  Michelle Moore: Like it's like, so if you can't be kind to your spouse, you need to take a step back and check within yourself where you're at with the Lord.
• 24:24
  Daniel Moore: Yeah.
• 24:25
  Daniel Moore: And that brings us to this next point.
• 24:26
  Daniel Moore: Why don't you go ahead and share that one with us there about grace?
• 24:30
  Michelle Moore: Marriage thrives when grace becomes louder than pride.
• 24:33
  Michelle Moore: As we walk through this chapter together, we're going to uncover how spiritual warfare often disguises itself in ordinary moments.
• 24:41
  Michelle Moore: We'll talk about how discouragement creeps in and how isolation quietly grows and how the enemy manipulates fear, assumptions, and emotional wounds to create separation between spouses.
• 24:53
  Michelle Moore: But we're also going to talk about hope, real hope, because God specializes in restoring what feels strained, healing what feels broken, and strengthening what feels weak.
• 25:06
  Michelle Moore: We'll learn how to recognize when a fight is more about more than the dirty dishes or finances.
• 25:12
  Michelle Moore: We'll explore how prayer changes the atmosphere of a home.
• 25:16
  Michelle Moore: We'll discuss how unity becomes a weapon against division.
• 25:20
  Michelle Moore: And yes, we'll even talk about those moments when one spouse wants to resolve conflict while the other suddenly becomes deeply interested in scrolling social media, checking sports scores, or reorganizing the garage for absolutely no reason.
• 25:35
  Michelle Moore: But there's grace for all of it.
• 25:38
  Michelle Moore: This isn't about becoming the perfect Christian couple.
• 25:41
  Michelle Moore: That couple doesn't even exist.
• 25:43
  Michelle Moore: Every marriage has moments of tension, frustration, misunderstanding, and growth.
• 25:49
  Michelle Moore: The goal isn't perfection, it's partnership.
• 25:52
  Michelle Moore: It's learning to pursue God and each other through every season.
• 25:57
  Daniel Moore: Yes.
• 25:57
  Daniel Moore: Grace is so important.
• 25:59
  Daniel Moore: You know, and and strong marriages are not built by perfect people, they're built by surrendered ones.
• 26:03
  Daniel Moore: And to be a surrendered couple, we have to let grace take the wheel because it's so easy to let our pride run help us to run right over our spouse.
• 26:15
  Daniel Moore: Yeah.
• 26:16
  Daniel Moore: And, you know, step on them and make a floor mat out of our spouse if we're not careful.
• 26:21
  Daniel Moore: And then you have this situation going on where one spouse is running everything and you know, just calling the shots and being mean and criticizing and calling names and whatever it may be.
• 26:34
  Daniel Moore: And the other spouse, you know, just doesn't have a voice at that point.
• 26:39
  Daniel Moore: And the other scenario of that is both of you are just tromping on top of each other and creating creating a huge big mess.
• 26:47
  Daniel Moore: And so we have to let that grace thrive in our marriage and let it become louder than that pride.
• 26:53
  Daniel Moore: Yeah.
• 26:53
  Daniel Moore: Because as long as the pride has the louder voice, it's going to be what's controlling our relationship.
• 27:00
  Daniel Moore: And we know what happens with pride.
• 27:02
  Daniel Moore: Pride comes before a fall.
• 27:03
  Daniel Moore: And that's pretty much what's going to end up.
• 27:06
  Daniel Moore: The marriage is just going to crumble if that foundation is not built on grace.
• 27:10
  Daniel Moore: And if you're not surrendered in your marriage and surrendered to each other, you know, the way that God wants us to be, um, we got to remember that, you know, marriage is worth protecting and it's worth fighting for.
• 27:21
  Daniel Moore: Right.
• 27:21
  Daniel Moore: Um, it's a godly institution, and with God's help, you know, He can help us do that.
• 27:27
  Daniel Moore: And we can definitely fight for our marriage.
• 27:29
  Daniel Moore: So, how do we recognize the enemy schemes?
• 27:43
  Daniel Moore: Because you might be thinking, well, maybe some of the stuff I'm going through right now, maybe it is spiritual warfare.
• 27:49
  Daniel Moore: But how do I know that?
• 27:50
  Daniel Moore: You know, how do I figure this out?
• 27:52
  Daniel Moore: Well, marriages can sometimes feel like a spiritual version of whack-a-mole.
• 27:56
  Daniel Moore: Just when you think you finally worked through one issue, boom, another one pops out of nowhere.
• 28:01
  Daniel Moore: One minute you're laughing together over coffee and making weekend plans.
• 28:05
  Daniel Moore: The next minute you're in a heated debate about whose turn it was to take out the trash, even though neither of you can actually remember whose turn it was in the first place.
• 28:12
  Daniel Moore: And somehow, somewhere in between, did you pay the electric bill?
• 28:17
  Daniel Moore: And why are there 17 cups on your nightstand?
• 28:20
  Daniel Moore: You know, the atmosphere shifts, tensions rise, defensiveness kicks in, suddenly the conversation feels heavier than it should.
• 28:27
  Daniel Moore: And that's because sometimes what's happening in marriage isn't just emotional, it's spiritual.
• 28:32
  Daniel Moore: So to be clear, not every disagreement is spiritual warfare.
• 28:36
  Daniel Moore: We're not saying that, you know, there's a demon hiding behind every rock.
• 28:40
  Daniel Moore: That's not what we're saying here.
• 28:41
  Daniel Moore: You know, sometimes you are just tired, stressed, or hungry, and trying to have an important conversation at 11 30 at night when neither one of you should be making life decisions.
• 28:50
  Daniel Moore: But there are moments when conflict carries something deeper beneath the surface, moments where frustration escalates unusually fast, moments where division feels intentional, moments where the enemy quietly slips into the cracks and starts pushing buttons.
• 29:05
  Daniel Moore: You know, Satan rarely shows up waving a giant red flag announcing his plans.
• 29:10
  Daniel Moore: He's subtle, strategic, and patient.
• 29:13
  Daniel Moore: Jesus called him the father of lies in John 844, and one of his greatest weapons is deception.
• 29:19
  Daniel Moore: You know, maybe you've heard these before.
• 29:22
  Daniel Moore: He likes to whisper things like, they don't appreciate you.
• 29:24
  Daniel Moore: You'll never change.
• 29:26
  Daniel Moore: Why even bother trying anymore?
• 29:28
  Daniel Moore: You're fighting this battle all alone.
• 29:31
  Daniel Moore: And if those lies go unchecked long enough, they begin shaping the atmosphere of a marriage.
• 29:37
  Daniel Moore: And I know that, you know, for myself, I fight those some types of thoughts sometimes.
• 29:42
  Daniel Moore: And I know you do too.
• 29:44
  Daniel Moore: I sure do.
• 29:44
  Daniel Moore: Because you'll actually come up and talk to me about them sometimes, the things that's going on in your mind.
• 29:51
  Daniel Moore: And, you know, it takes both of us to reassure each other sometimes that that's not the case, you know, and we may need to stop and pray for a moment about that.
• 30:01
  Daniel Moore: You know, plead the blood of Jesus over that or whatever it may be.
• 30:04
  Daniel Moore: Because believe it or not, just because we run a marriage podcast doesn't mean Satan doesn't attack us.
• 30:11
  Michelle Moore: Right.
• 30:11
  Daniel Moore: Um, he does, he attacks us on a regular basis.
• 30:14
  Daniel Moore: And so as we're looking at these schemes that Satan likes to do, why don't you go ahead and and share that first point with us there?
• 30:25
  Michelle Moore: The enemy doesn't need to destroy a marriage overnight if he can slowly divide it over time.
• 30:30
  Michelle Moore: That's why marriage is such a target.
• 30:33
  Michelle Moore: Marriage reflects the covenant love between Christ and the church.
• 30:38
  Michelle Moore: You can find that in Ephesians 5, verses 25 through 32.
• 30:43
  Michelle Moore: It's designed to display unity, grace, sacrifice, forgiveness, and faithfulness.
• 30:49
  Michelle Moore: So naturally, the enemy wants to attack that very thing God created to reveal his love so powerfully.
• 30:56
  Michelle Moore: Because if he can divide a husband and wife, he can weaken a family.
• 31:00
  Michelle Moore: If he can weaken a family, he can influence generations.
• 31:03
  Michelle Moore: And if he can distract a couple from their God-given purpose, he already accomplished more than most people realize.
• 31:11
  Michelle Moore: But here's what makes spiritual warfare in marriage so tricky.
• 31:16
  Michelle Moore: The attacks usually don't begin with major catastrophes.
• 31:19
  Michelle Moore: They begin with little things like a sarcastic comment, an eye roll, maybe a cold shoulder, a harsh tone, a forgotten apology, a missed I love you, and possibly a growing habit of emotional withdrawal.
• 31:38
  Michelle Moore: Song of Solomon 215 warns us to catch the little foxes that spoil the vineyards.
• 31:46
  Michelle Moore: There's that scripture again.
• 31:47
  Michelle Moore: In other words, the small things ignored today often become the big things we're crying about tomorrow.
• 31:55
  Daniel Moore: And the reason that some of this is brought up here is because if we don't some of us are like pros at eye rolling or giving cold shoulders.
• 32:06
  Daniel Moore: Uh, there's sarcastic comments, being sarcastic and criticizing.
• 32:10
  Daniel Moore: Some of us are just great at that.
• 32:11
  Daniel Moore: I mean, it comes natural.
• 32:13
  Daniel Moore: As soon as something happens, we're automatically going into eye roll mode, or we're automatically going into sarcastic comment mode.
• 32:20
  Daniel Moore: And the bad thing about those are is if we don't take care of those when they happen, and you know, we treat our spouse that way, and then without showing any grace or any kinds of uh, you know, making up in any way toward, you know, with what just happened, apologizing, forgiveness.
• 32:37
  Daniel Moore: We just try and walk away.
• 32:39
  Daniel Moore: Satan realizes that he knows what we just did and what just happened.
• 32:44
  Daniel Moore: And guess what he's going to do?
• 32:45
  Daniel Moore: He's going to exploit that moment and he's going to use that to try to build into something even bigger and worse the next time around.
• 32:54
  Daniel Moore: And so that's why it's so important that we realize that you may think that, you know, my personality, I just, if somebody says something to me and it's stupid, that's just, I roll my eyes.
• 33:06
  Daniel Moore: That's just my personality and the way I am.
• 33:09
  Daniel Moore: Or I just make sarcastic comments.
• 33:11
  Daniel Moore: I've been like that since high school, and that's just the way I am.
• 33:14
  Daniel Moore: Well, that type of person is the type of person Satan loves to use.
• 33:18
  Daniel Moore: That's the type of person that he will utilize to go attack other people and cause division, uh, destroy that unity in a marriage, and we all have control over our personalities and how we react to people when we are communicating.
• 33:34
  Daniel Moore: And so we have to be careful with all of that because Satan's going to utilize any of those moments.
• 33:39
  Daniel Moore: Most marriage battles don't begin with explosions, they begin with erosion.
• 33:44
  Daniel Moore: You know, some of the enemy's greatest work happens in the ordinary moments.
• 33:47
  Daniel Moore: He turns assumptions into accusations, miscommunication into offense, frustration into bitterness.
• 33:53
  Daniel Moore: Two people who deeply love each other suddenly start treating each other like opponents instead of teammates.
• 33:59
  Daniel Moore: And that's why one of the most important truths that we keep repeating over and over is that your spouse is not your enemy.
• 34:05
  Daniel Moore: Not during the disagreement, not during the misunderstanding, not during the tense silence on the drive home, not even during that moment when they say I'm listening while still scrolling on their phone.
• 34:15
  Daniel Moore: Ephesians 6.12 reminds us that our struggle is not against flesh and blood.
• 34:19
  Daniel Moore: It's not our spouse sitting on the other side of the car or sitting in the other room in our house.
• 34:24
  Daniel Moore: The real battle is spiritual.
• 34:26
  Daniel Moore: The enemy wants to divide, but God wants unity.
• 34:30
  Daniel Moore: The enemy, he wants to build that pride in all of us.
• 34:33
  Daniel Moore: But God calls us towards humility.
• 34:35
  Daniel Moore: The enemy wants distance.
• 34:37
  Daniel Moore: You know, he wants Michelle and I to separate apart from each other and not talk and just be distant and not communicate.
• 34:44
  Daniel Moore: But God, on the other hand, calls us to reconcile.
• 34:47
  Daniel Moore: He wants reconciliation in our marriage.
• 34:50
  Daniel Moore: And if we're not spiritually aware, we can end up fighting each other while completely missing what that real battle is at the very bottom of all of this.
• 34:59
  Daniel Moore: One of Satan's most common tactics in marriage is miscommunication.
• 35:03
  Daniel Moore: We've said this over and over.
• 35:04
  Daniel Moore: This is one of the big reasons that marriages have problems.
• 35:08
  Daniel Moore: You know, isn't it amazing how one sentence can sound completely different depending on someone's tone, their stress level, or their facial expressions.
• 35:16
  Daniel Moore: A husband says something practical and the wife hears something critical, or vice versa.
• 35:21
  Daniel Moore: You know, the wife expresses emotion, the husband hears accusation.
• 35:25
  Daniel Moore: Suddenly both people are defending wounds instead of understanding hearts.
• 35:29
  Daniel Moore: And we've talked a little bit about before how we can literally communicate with our expressions.
• 35:33
  Daniel Moore: You don't even have to say anything.
• 35:34
  Michelle Moore: Right, right.
• 35:35
  Daniel Moore: You know, me and you talked about that.
• 35:36
  Daniel Moore: I can I've been married to you for so long, and you've been married to me for so long that we can sit across the room from each other and we can pretty much carry a conversation with our facial expressions.
• 35:46
  Daniel Moore: You know, we know each other that well.
• 35:49
  Daniel Moore: And those facial expressions can be positive or negative.
• 35:52
  Daniel Moore: And a lot of times, you know, you'll call people out for their expression.
• 35:57
  Daniel Moore: Oh, that's not what that meant.
• 35:58
  Daniel Moore: You know, they'll have these excuses.
• 36:00
  Daniel Moore: And it's like, well, in that moment, that's exactly how I took it.
• 36:04
  Daniel Moore: That's why you need to speak up and talk and not just use facial expressions or you know, the tone in your voice, even.
• 36:11
  Daniel Moore: Satan loves those things, he thrives on that stuff, and he wants to, you know, attack all of that and make it become a huge issue in your relationship.
• 36:21
  Michelle Moore: Right, right.
• 36:21
  Daniel Moore: You know, James 119 gives practical wisdom here where he says everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry.
• 36:28
  Daniel Moore: You know, imagine how many arguments would shrink if couples slowed down long enough to truly hear each other instead of preparing rebuttals halfway through the conversation.
• 36:37
  Daniel Moore: Yep.
• 36:37
  Daniel Moore: And you kind of talked about that a while ago just a little bit, about how easy it is for us to already be formulating in our mind.
• 36:45
  Daniel Moore: And there is a statistic for that.
• 36:46
  Daniel Moore: I think we've shared it before.
• 36:48
  Daniel Moore: Uh, but usually uh, you know, when spouses are in a conflictive situation and they're talking back and forth, usually the attention span is around seven to 14 seconds that the spouse will listen that's being talked to before they automatically kind of shut off what's being told them and they start thinking of what their reaction is gonna be, what their answer is gonna be, their argument is going to be to this once it's their turn to talk.
• 37:12
  Daniel Moore: And so when you're sitting there formulating all these arguments in your mind, it's kind of hard to listen to the other spouse and what they're saying.
• 37:18
  Daniel Moore: Yeah.
• 37:19
  Daniel Moore: Because you already got this stuff going on.
• 37:21
  Daniel Moore: When they're done, I'm just gonna tear into them, gonna rip into them.
• 37:24
  Daniel Moore: And you know what?
• 37:25
  Daniel Moore: That's what Satan wants.
• 37:26
  Daniel Moore: He is so excited and jump for joy, clapping his hands when that happens.
• 37:30
  Daniel Moore: He's like, the fight's on, and I'm here to watch the show.
• 37:33
  Daniel Moore: And so we have to be super careful with that when that comes up.
• 37:37
  Daniel Moore: So go ahead and share that next one.
• 37:39
  Michelle Moore: Communication breaks down when the goal becomes winning instead of understanding.
• 37:44
  Michelle Moore: Another tactic the enemy loves is isolation.
• 37:47
  Michelle Moore: He wants couples emotionally disconnected.
• 37:50
  Michelle Moore: He whispers things like, they don't really care, or you're better off keeping this to yourself.
• 37:56
  Michelle Moore: Over time, the vulnerability disappears, walls go up, and intimacy slowly fades.
• 38:03
  Michelle Moore: And the walls of marriage don't just separate rooms, they separate hearts.
• 38:08
  Michelle Moore: That's why intentional connection matters so much.
• 38:11
  Michelle Moore: Date nights matter, praying together matters, conversations without distractions matter.
• 38:17
  Michelle Moore: Sometimes the most spiritual thing a couple can do is put their phones down, sit on the couch together, and actually talk like friends again.
• 38:26
  Michelle Moore: Because busyness can quietly become a spiritual drift.
• 38:30
  Michelle Moore: Satan also loves distraction, work schedules, sports, and endless scrolling and kids' activities, exhaustion, and when life gets loud, fast.
• 38:42
  Michelle Moore: And if couples aren't careful, they can spend all their energy managing life while neglecting the relationship, holding it all together.
• 38:51
  Daniel Moore: So we know that with communication, if we are trying to win in our conversations all the time, and we never choose to understand the other spouse, we get nowhere.
• 39:01
  Daniel Moore: It's like a dead end.
• 39:03
  Daniel Moore: And that's not a good way to be communicating.
• 39:06
  Daniel Moore: You know, whatever consistently distracts us from each other is going to eventually distance us from each other.
• 39:11
  Daniel Moore: Another thing that comes along with this is comparison.
• 39:15
  Daniel Moore: And that's a dangerous trap in the modern marriage.
• 39:18
  Daniel Moore: Social media has made it easier than ever to compare your real life marriage to someone else's highlight reels.
• 39:24
  Daniel Moore: Suddenly another couple seems happier, more romantic, more financially stable, more spiritually mature, more put together.
• 39:31
  Daniel Moore: But when we think about it, comparison, it's really poison.
• 39:35
  Daniel Moore: Every marriage has struggles behind closed doors.
• 39:38
  Daniel Moore: Every couple has moments they don't post online.
• 39:41
  Daniel Moore: The enemy uses comparison to create dissatisfaction because dissatisfied hearts become vulnerable hearts.
• 39:49
  Daniel Moore: Hebrews 13 5 reminds us to be content, and gratitude is one of the strongest defenses against comparison.
• 39:56
  Daniel Moore: When couples intentionally focus on what's good instead of obsessing over what's missing, unity grows stronger.
• 40:02
  Daniel Moore: Another major tactic is unforgiveness.
• 40:05
  Daniel Moore: Few things poison a marriage faster than unresolved hurt.
• 40:09
  Daniel Moore: The enemy loves when offenses stay buried and bitterness quietly takes root.
• 40:13
  Daniel Moore: Why?
• 40:14
  Daniel Moore: Because bitterness changes how we see each other.
• 40:17
  Daniel Moore: It hardens hearts, it turns grace into suspicion.
• 40:20
  Daniel Moore: Colossians 3 13 tells us to forgive as the Lord forgave you.
• 40:25
  Daniel Moore: That doesn't mean pretending pain didn't happen.
• 40:28
  Daniel Moore: It means refusing to let pain become permanent poison in the relationship.
• 40:33
  Daniel Moore: And we know that when we do forgive and we truly forgive people, that lifts a load off of our shoulders.
• 40:39
  Daniel Moore: As they say, a lot of times that forgiveness is as much for us as it is anybody.
• 40:44
  Daniel Moore: Even if I for if I ask Michelle for forgiveness and I'm truly sincere about it, and if you choose not to forgive me, that's on you at that point.
• 40:52
  Michelle Moore: Right, right.
• 40:53
  Daniel Moore: You know, I still have the opportunity to feel that release from what happened because I was sincere and I was truly sorry, you know, and I offered a moment for us to reconcile.
• 41:04
  Daniel Moore: And so I I've done my part at that point.
• 41:07
  Daniel Moore: Then it the re after that it's it's in your lap.
• 41:10
  Daniel Moore: You know, you have to decide, and vice versa.
• 41:14
  Daniel Moore: And you know, there's a time in our relationship that we had to apologize to each other.
• 41:18
  Daniel Moore: And if one of us had decided, you know what, forget you.
• 41:21
  Daniel Moore: I'm not gonna uh accept your apology and reconcile with this, we wouldn't be where we're at right here today.
• 41:27
  Daniel Moore: No.
• 41:28
  Daniel Moore: That bitterness would have kept growing, and and we know comparison's rough.
• 41:33
  Daniel Moore: I, you know, it's even today in our marriage, you know, God has truly blessed us in so many ways.
• 41:40
  Daniel Moore: Uh, there's just not anything at all that I can argue about with where God has us and the things that He's blessed us with.
• 41:46
  Daniel Moore: But you know, there's always something better.
• 41:48
  Daniel Moore: I mean, it's like if if we're not careful, we can, you know, see what we have and then we can look at what somebody else has, and we're like, you know, that sure be nice to have that.
• 42:00
  Daniel Moore: You know, that's so much better than or nicer than what we've got, you know.
• 42:04
  Daniel Moore: And then if you're not careful, that comparison stuff can really start eating at you.
• 42:09
  Daniel Moore: And and that comparison thing can be, it's not even just with material things, it can be a comparison in all different areas of your marriage and your relationships.
• 42:18
  Daniel Moore: And, you know, it can come down to where you can compare your spouse to somebody else's spouse.
• 42:23
  Daniel Moore: And you see that, well, you know, they treat them like a king or a queen.
• 42:28
  Daniel Moore: Mine treats me like this.
• 42:29
  Daniel Moore: And, you know, if you start working out a friendship or whatever, it can start uh flinging the wrong direction where you start lusting after having that spouse because you feel like they would be a better uh spouse to you and fix all your problems, and you can, you know, become in a bad way uh thinking about that whole situation and can really cause you to sin.
• 42:51
  Daniel Moore: If we're not careful, you know, Satan will take the comparison thing, and it is a trap.
• 42:57
  Daniel Moore: It's definitely a satanic trap, and it is poison because we can sit here and compare ourselves down to being nothing and being useless in the kingdom of God because we have, you know, put ourselves in a position where we can't even let God work through us because we've compared ourselves to everything else.
• 43:15
  Daniel Moore: We've got to remember God's gave us what we have, and he wants us to be grateful for that, and he has a reason for what he's given us.
• 43:23
  Daniel Moore: It's up to us at that point to utilize what he's given us and make the best out of that.
• 43:29
  Michelle Moore: Right, right.
• 43:30
  Daniel Moore: And I'm so thankful that, you know, when I talked about you and I asking this forgiveness for each other and whatever, we both accepted and reconciled.
• 43:39
  Daniel Moore: And now look what God's you know done with us.
• 43:41
  Daniel Moore: Right.
• 43:41
  Daniel Moore: You know, we've both of us have grown so much.
• 43:44
  Daniel Moore: And you know, we've got our own ministry at this point.
• 43:46
  Daniel Moore: We love pouring into other couples, and those doors wouldn't have opened if one of us would have said no.
• 43:51
  Michelle Moore: Right.
• 43:52
  Daniel Moore: Or if we'd let comparison and all this other stuff take place.
• 43:55
  Daniel Moore: Uh go on to the next point there.
• 43:57
  Michelle Moore: Yeah.
• 43:57
  Michelle Moore: Bitterness builds prisons that forgiveness.
• 43:59
  Michelle Moore: Was meant to tear down.
• 44:01
  Michelle Moore: And perhaps one of the enemy's favorite strategies of all is spiritual apathy.
• 44:07
  Michelle Moore: If Satan can keep a couple disconnected from God, prayerless, spiritually distracted, and too exhausted to pursue intimacy with Christ, he knows the marriage becomes more vulnerable.
• 44:19
  Michelle Moore: Because spiritually disconnected couples often struggle to stay emotionally connected too.
• 44:26
  Michelle Moore: But that's why prayer matters so much in a in a marriage.
• 44:30
  Michelle Moore: Prayer softens hearts, prayer invites peace, and prayer exposes lies.
• 44:36
  Michelle Moore: Prayer also reminds us that we're not fighting alone.
• 44:40
  Michelle Moore: And no, prayer together doesn't always have to sound deep and poetic.
• 44:45
  Michelle Moore: Sometimes it's as simple as this God, we're frustrated right now.
• 44:50
  Michelle Moore: Help us love each other well.
• 44:52
  Michelle Moore: That counts.
• 44:54
  Michelle Moore: God honors humility far more than polished words.
• 44:58
  Michelle Moore: And so, how can you recognize when conflict may have spiritual roots instead of just normal tension?
• 45:06
  Michelle Moore: Pay attention to the patterns.
• 45:09
  Michelle Moore: Are small disagreements constantly becoming major blow-ups?
• 45:13
  Michelle Moore: Does division linger longer than it should?
• 45:17
  Michelle Moore: Do you feel emotionally disconnected without knowing why?
• 45:22
  Michelle Moore: Does peace feel difficult to maintain?
• 45:25
  Michelle Moore: And are pride, offense, or bitterness growing faster than resolution?
• 45:30
  Michelle Moore: James 316 says, For where envy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice.
• 45:40
  Michelle Moore: Chaos, confusion, division, and constant disorder are often signs that something deeper may be influencing the atmosphere.
• 45:50
  Michelle Moore: But here's the encouraging part: we are not powerless.
• 45:55
  Michelle Moore: God has given us spiritual weapons, truth, prayer, humility, grace, wisdom, forgiveness, and the power of the Holy Spirit.
• 46:06
  Michelle Moore: When couples recognize the real battle, they stop fighting against each other and start fighting for each other.
• 46:14
  Daniel Moore: So where do you feel like humility came into play in our situation with you whenever it came time for us to make that choice?
• 46:23
  Daniel Moore: Do we stay together?
• 46:24
  Daniel Moore: Do we not stay together?
• 46:25
  Daniel Moore: Uh the choice that we made to stay to to stay together, because obviously we're here now, so we know everybody knows that we did reconcile and that you and I do get along now.
• 46:35
  Daniel Moore: Uh where do you feel like humility came in on that and played a part uh in us reconciling when we did?
• 46:45
  Michelle Moore: Hmm.
• 46:46
  Michelle Moore: I I mean honestly, I think, you know, obviously right when I was getting ready to leave the night before I was supposed to pack and move into the apartment.
• 46:55
  Michelle Moore: But I think humility actually came in when you kept apologizing and actually you were praying extremely hard.
• 47:03
  Michelle Moore: So I feel like, you know, me recognizing, hey, I made this a a a big thing too.
• 47:11
  Michelle Moore: I had my issues just as well.
• 47:14
  Michelle Moore: And so I think when the Lord started dealing with me in my heart right then, I think that's when I had to say I'm sorry, and then I had to ask you for forgiveness, even though you had asked me for forgiveness.
• 47:27
  Michelle Moore: And you know, you have to step back and think, this is there's more to our relationship than all the bad that had happened.
• 47:35
  Daniel Moore: Yeah.
• 47:36
  Daniel Moore: And if that humility had never happened, we wouldn't be where we're at now.
• 47:40
  Daniel Moore: You know, on both sides.
• 47:42
  Daniel Moore: You know, I had to get rid of some pride too.
• 47:44
  Daniel Moore: And sometimes it takes God coming in and working on us and helping us to build that hu that humbleness.
• 47:51
  Daniel Moore: And you know, we have to we have to approach him with humility because if if we're not going to be humble before God when we ask him to come into our life and change us, it's gonna be hard for us to change if we don't humble ourselves to him.
• 48:04
  Daniel Moore: And so that does carry over into our marriages and everything that we do as a couple.
• 48:09
  Daniel Moore: So we're about to wrap this one up here.
• 48:11
  Daniel Moore: Do you have anything that you wanted to add to this week's um that we hadn't maybe a thought that you didn't get to share or something?
• 48:18
  Michelle Moore: No.
• 48:19
  Daniel Moore: I think this is I think this is just a timely message for us as couples to remember that you know there's some deep things here that's fighting against us.
• 48:29
  Daniel Moore: It's not just the mundane, just the normal things that happen with human beings as we two try to, you know, live together in the same home or whatever.
• 48:39
  Daniel Moore: Uh, there's something behind the the scenes, you know, something sinister that's taking place in all of this where Satan's sitting back there stirring that pot.
• 48:47
  Daniel Moore: And I think if we can keep that in the back of our minds, I think that would probably help us come into a lot of our conflicts a little bit differently uh to understand that this isn't just about me and you, there's something else going on here also.
• 48:58
  Daniel Moore: There's somebody that doesn't want us to succeed as a married couple.
• 49:02
  Daniel Moore: So healthy marriages aren't built by couples who never fight, they're built by couples who refuse to quit fighting for unity.
• 49:08
  Daniel Moore: So the next time that conflict suddenly escalates over something small, you know, just take a pause before reacting and ask yourself, is this really about the dishes?
• 49:18
  Daniel Moore: Is this really about the laundry?
• 49:20
  Daniel Moore: Or is the enemy trying to create unnecessary division between two people that God joined together?
• 49:26
  Daniel Moore: You need to invite God into that moment.
• 49:29
  Daniel Moore: Pray before pride takes over.
• 49:31
  Daniel Moore: Choose gentleness before anger speaks, and choose understanding before assumptions grow.
• 49:38
  Daniel Moore: A spiritually strong marriage is not a marriage without conflict, it's a marriage that keeps inviting God into the conflict.
• 49:45
  Daniel Moore: Well, that's gonna about do it for this week's episode.
• 50:01
  Daniel Moore: Don't forget you can visit our website at marriagelifeandwork.com for anything about our ministry.
• 50:06
  Daniel Moore: You can reach out to us there as well.
• 50:08
  Daniel Moore: All the resources that we have.
• 50:09
  Daniel Moore: Please subscribe and share to these episodes, as that's what helps us to grow here.
• 50:14
  Daniel Moore: And this also helps other couples.
• 50:16
  Daniel Moore: So if you share, there might be a couple out there that needs to hear this and they'll pick it up on your feed, and then you get to be a part in rebuilding someone's marriage God's way.
• 50:25
  Daniel Moore: Well, to wrap up this episode this week, here's the truth that we want every married couple to remember.
• 50:30
  Daniel Moore: The goal of spiritual warfare in marriage is not just conflict, it's disconnection.
• 50:35
  Daniel Moore: The enemy wants husbands and wives standing face to face in frustration rather than shoulder to shoulder in unity.
• 50:41
  Daniel Moore: But God's design for marriage has always been bigger than survival mode.
• 50:45
  Daniel Moore: He created marriage to reflect his love, his covenant, his grace, and his faithfulness to the world around us.
• 50:51
  Daniel Moore: And that means every moment of forgiveness, every hard conversation handled with humility, every prayer prayed together, and every choice to love when it's difficult becomes a spiritual victory.
• 51:02
  Daniel Moore: So the next time tension rises in your home, pause before reacting.
• 51:06
  Daniel Moore: Ask yourself, am I fighting my spouse right now, or am I fighting for this marriage?
• 51:12
  Daniel Moore: Because a healthy marriage isn't built by couples who never struggle, it's built by couples who keep inviting God into the struggle.
• 51:19
  Daniel Moore: And maybe that's the practical challenge for all of us this week.
• 51:23
  Daniel Moore: Stop giving small offenses permission to create large distances.
• 51:27
  Daniel Moore: Pray together even when it feels awkward, apologize quicker, listen longer, put the phones down sometimes, speak gently when emotions want to speak loudly.
• 51:38
  Daniel Moore: Choose connection over pride and grace over being right.
• 51:41
  Daniel Moore: Which, if we're being honest, means some of us probably need to stop starting deep marital discussions at 11.47 at night when everyone's exhausted and spiritually underqualified for the conversation.
• 51:57
  Daniel Moore: The enemy may be strategic, subtle, and persistent, but God is greater, and a marriage centered on Christ is far stronger than the attacks coming against it.
• 52:07
  Daniel Moore: So next week, we're going to talk about suiting up with the armor of God.
• 52:11
  Daniel Moore: We're going to learn how to stand firm together, and as we leave this week, remember this powerful truth.
• 52:17
  Daniel Moore: The strongest marriages are not the ones without battles.
• 52:20
  Daniel Moore: They're the ones where two imperfect people keep choosing each other, keep choosing grace, and keep choosing God in the middle of the fight.
• 52:29
  Daniel Moore: Let's gonna do it for this week.
• 52:31
  Daniel Moore: Next week we come back, we'll do part two of this episode on spiritual warfare in the family.
• 52:36
  Daniel Moore: And for this week, we pray that your marriage is stronger and your walk with God is closer after this episode.
• 52:42
  Daniel Moore: This episode was recorded in the upper room at our Connecting the Gap Studios.
• 52:46
  Daniel Moore: This is an extension of Connecting the Gap Ministries, and we pray that you have a blessed week.