Latest / Just Julia / Stop Erasing Yourself from the Picture

Transcript

Stop Erasing Yourself from the Picture · Just Julia

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: I want you to take a second right now and just mentally pull up the camera roll on your phone.
• 0:05
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, that is always a dangerous game.
• 0:07
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 0:08
  SPEAKER_00: But if you were to scroll back through,
• 0:09
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know, say the last year, think about the visual record you've created.
• 0:13
  SPEAKER_00: You're going to find,
• 0:15
  SPEAKER_00: you know,
• 0:15
  SPEAKER_00: dozens of photos of beautiful scenery,
• 0:17
  SPEAKER_00: your pets doing something ridiculous, your kids, your partner.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_01: Of course.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_00: But here's the real question.
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_00: How many of those photos actually include you?
• 0:25
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 0:25
  SPEAKER_01: And for a staggering number of people,
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_01: particularly women, That number hevers uncomfortably close to zero.
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_00: Exactly.
• 0:33
  SPEAKER_00: It's like zero.
• 0:34
  SPEAKER_01: We act as these like meticulous documentarians of everyone else's lives,
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_01: but we somehow engineer our own vanishing act from the visual record.
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_00: And that vanishing act is exactly what we're getting into in today's deep dive.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_00: We're unpacking a really beautiful, emotionally resonant article by Julia Callas.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_01: It really is a fantastic piece of writing.
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_00: It is.
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_00: It's called I Was There Too.
• 0:59
  SPEAKER_00: And she wrote it for her platform, Just Julia.
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_00: And our mission today is to explore this dangerous habit we have of Well,
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_00: postponing our presence in our own lives.
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_01: This idea that we have to wait until we feel, quote unquote, ready to actually be seen.
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_00: Exactly.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_00: Because this isn't just an article about, you know, taking more selfies on vacation.
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_00: It's a really profound look at body image,
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_00: motherhood, aging and making these impossible deals with our future selves.
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_01: And the psychology behind that wait is fascinating.
• 1:31
  SPEAKER_01: Because it exposes how we falsely linked confidence with perfection.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_00: Wait, say more about that.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_00: How do we link them?
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_01: Well, we operate under this illusion that until we've, say,
• 1:41
  SPEAKER_01: lost the weight or finalized a career transition or cured our anxiety,
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_01: we just aren't fully baked yet.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, like we're just a rough draft.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_01: Exactly.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_01: We view our current self as a rough draft.
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_01: And by waiting for this flawless future state to arrive,
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_01: we quietly just erase ourselves from our own presence.
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_00: And that erasure becomes so painfully obvious
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_00: when our phones serve up those digital time capsules, right?
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, the dreaded memories feature.
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_00: You know that feeling.
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_00: You're pouring a cup of coffee and suddenly you get hit with
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_00: an on-this-day photo compilation from five years ago.
• 2:11
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_01: It completely derails your morning.
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_00: It does.
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_00: And Julia Callas,
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_00: she lives in Italy,
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_00: and she describes how the arrival of the Italian August kind of triggers this.
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_01: Right, because the whole country essentially shuts down.
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_00: Exactly.
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_00: Everyone heads to the sea,
• 2:27
  SPEAKER_00: she goes to Sardinia,
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_00: and suddenly life slows down enough that these Facebook memories start flooding in.
• 2:33
  SPEAKER_01: It's the perfect incubator for reflection, honestly.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_01: The machinery of daily life stops.
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_01: And you're just sitting on a beach staring at these concentrated doses of your past selves.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_00: And what I found so compelling is her reaction to those photos.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_00: Because initially, you know, you look at an old picture and you go straight to the superficial.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_01: Sure.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_01: You judge your hair or you zoom in on your stomach.
• 2:53
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 2:53
  SPEAKER_00: But she points out this secondary, much deeper layer of remembering.
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_00: When she looks at those photos now, the physical body is just a shell.
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_00: She remembers the mind that was trapped inside it.
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, that is such a powerful distinction.
• 3:08
  SPEAKER_01: Because a photograph is, well, it's basically a massive exercise in cognitive dissonance.
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_00: How so?
• 3:15
  SPEAKER_01: Well, the visual evidence shows blue water, a smiling face, sunshine.
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_01: It broadcasts pure, uncomplicated joy.
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_01: But the internal reality of the person in that frame was completely different.
• 3:27
  SPEAKER_01: Callas looks at a smiling past version of herself
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_01: and remembers exactly what was keeping her awake at night that summer.
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_00: This suffocating professional insecurity or the profound disorientation of being
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_00: a brand new mother.
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_00: She writes that everybody was carrying a completely different life.
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_01: And looking back at those past versions evokes this fierce, almost maternal tenderness.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_00: Because you have the ultimate spoiler.
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_00: You know how the story turns out.
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_00: You just want to reach through the phone and tell that exhausted younger woman that
• 3:56
  SPEAKER_00: the terrifying thing actually works itself out.
• 3:58
  SPEAKER_01: But the heartbreak is that almost every version of herself she observes
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_01: in those archives believed she was broken.
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_01: She was perpetually waiting for a fix before she could relax.
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_00: To really map this out,
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_00: she deconstructs three consecutive summers in Sardinia,
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_00: and the evolution is just incredible.
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_00: Let's talk about
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_01: year one.
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, so year one, her son had just turned one.
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_00: She's navigating the massive shockwaves of new motherhood.
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_00: Her body is completely different.
• 4:25
  SPEAKER_01: But the irony is that first summer, her physical form barely registered on her radar.
• 4:30
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_00: Her cognitive load was entirely consumed by keeping this tiny human alive.
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_00: She just didn't have the bandwidth for her own insecurities.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_01: The bandwidth returns, and the hyper-awareness sets in.
• 4:44
  SPEAKER_00: She's nearly two years postpartum,
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_00: the panic of early motherhood has subsided,
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_00: and suddenly there's room for this creeping alienation.
• 4:51
  SPEAKER_01: She just didn't feel at home in her own skin,
• 4:53
  SPEAKER_01: and she was carrying other anxieties,
• 4:55
  SPEAKER_01: and that immediately manifested in how she interacted with the camera.
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_00: She starts policing the lens,
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_00: she's on this gorgeous beach,
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_00: and her refrain becomes, don't take a picture of me, get one of our sons.
• 5:05
  SPEAKER_01: We're definitely not in this bikini.
• 5:07
  SPEAKER_01: Delete that one.
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_00: Exactly.
• 5:09
  SPEAKER_00: And the outcome is...
• 5:11
  SPEAKER_00: Thousands of stunning high definition photos of her son's first years,
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_00: him laughing, splashing with his dad, a beautiful archive of their family.
• 5:20
  SPEAKER_01: And she is a ghost.
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_01: She is entirely missing.
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_00: It's so sad, but she articulates it so well.
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_00: She says, I just didn't think the version of me who is there was ready to be remembered.
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_01: Wow.
• 5:33
  SPEAKER_01: Not ready to be remembered.
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_01: It's like treating your life as a perpetual dress rehearsal.
• 5:37
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, I was just thinking that.
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_00: It's like a director who builds this beautiful,
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_00: elaborate movie set,
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_00: but refuses to ever step in front of the lens because their makeup isn't done yet.
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_01: That's a perfect analogy.
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_01: We hold out for opening night.
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_01: We think, when the lighting hits me just right, then I'll step on stage.
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_00: But we completely forget that the theater is already full and the play is already happening.
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_00: We are creating the memories, but refusing to inhabit them.
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_01: And we do it as a psychological safety net.
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_01: If you don't step into the frame, you can't be criticized.
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_01: You can't look back and cringe.
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_00: She genuinely believed she was just hitting pause.
• 6:09
  SPEAKER_00: Like, when I feel confident enough to put on the swimsuit, then I'll show up.
• 6:13
  SPEAKER_01: But life does not pause while we get our wardrobe sorted out.
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_01: Which brings us to the collision with reality in year three.
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_00: Right, because we jump forward to this current summer and she actually achieves the goal.
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_00: The thing she was waiting for happens.
• 6:27
  SPEAKER_01: She spent years training, building strength, and she finally feels good in her body.
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_01: She can put on the bikini and just exist.
• 6:34
  SPEAKER_00: But the twist is,
• 6:35
  SPEAKER_00: and this is what's so fascinating,
• 6:37
  SPEAKER_00: life didn't just stop and applaud her for fixing the body issue.
• 6:41
  SPEAKER_01: No, it just handed her a completely new anxiety.
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_01: It's the classic arrival fallacy.
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_00: Right, because she's going through this massive professional crisis.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_00: A chapter closed, she's questioning her identity, worrying about people who hurt her.
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_01: So she's on the beach, the bikini fits, but mentally she is thousands of miles away.
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_00: And a few days before they leave,
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_00: she looks at her phone and realizes she still isn't taking photos of herself.
• 7:05
  SPEAKER_01: Because the goalpost moved.
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_01: She spent years waiting for her body to change before enjoying the photo.
• 7:11
  SPEAKER_01: Now she was waiting for her life circumstances to change.
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_00: Wait, I should push back here, though,
• 7:16
  SPEAKER_00: because reading that,
• 7:17
  SPEAKER_00: I wondered,
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_00: did getting strong and feeling good in a bikini just not matter at all then?
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_00: Did she waste years on it?
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_01: No.
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_01: And Callis is very nuanced about this.
• 7:27
  SPEAKER_01: She rejects that toxic positivity that says physical reality doesn't matter.
• 7:33
  SPEAKER_01: It mattered deeply.
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_00: So what was the point of it if it didn't cure the anxiety?
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_01: Evidence.
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_01: The purpose was evidence.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_01: By doing something grueling,
• 7:42
  SPEAKER_01: like training her body, she built a tangible ledger of her own resilience.
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, I see.
• 7:47
  SPEAKER_00: She proved to herself that she can survive discomfort and force a transformation.
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_01: Exactly.
• 7:52
  SPEAKER_01: So, standing on the edge of this terrifying career transition,
• 7:56
  SPEAKER_01: she desperately needs that psychological muscle she built.
• 7:59
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, that makes sense.
• 8:00
  SPEAKER_00: But the camera revelation is still devastating.
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_00: Her body was ready, but because her career was messy, she still excluded herself.
• 8:06
  SPEAKER_01: It exposes the uncomfortable truth.
• 8:09
  SPEAKER_01: The problem was never the wait or the swimsuit.
• 8:11
  SPEAKER_01: The problem was the cognitive habit of waiting.
• 8:14
  SPEAKER_00: That habit is so universal for highly accomplished women.
• 8:17
  SPEAKER_00: We are constantly making these ironclad deals with our future selves.
• 8:21
  SPEAKER_01: The endless list of whens.
• 8:23
  SPEAKER_01: When the debt is paid off, when the kids sleep through the night, when I get the promotion.
• 8:27
  SPEAKER_00: Then I'll enjoy this.
• 8:28
  SPEAKER_00: Then I'll get in the picture.
• 8:29
  SPEAKER_00: We project all our hopes onto this phantom future woman.
• 8:34
  SPEAKER_01: I love that term, the phantom future woman.
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_01: She has the perfect body, a frictionless relationship, a thriving career.
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_00: And a perfectly peaceful mind.
• 8:43
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 8:43
  SPEAKER_00: She finally has permission to relax.
• 8:45
  SPEAKER_01: But she's a complete fabrication.
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_01: She doesn't exist.
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_01: She can't exist because human experience is asymmetrical.
• 8:51
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, life does not resolve all its plot lines at the same time.
• 8:54
  SPEAKER_01: You can secure the exact body you wanted only to discover your career is imploding.
• 8:59
  SPEAKER_01: You fix the career and realize your marriage needs attention.
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_00: There's this one quote in the piece that just stops you in your tracks.
• 9:05
  SPEAKER_00: She writes,
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_00: you can finally reach something that once felt like the answer only to discover
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_00: that life has quietly moved the question somewhere else.
• 9:14
  SPEAKER_01: And if your prerequisite for participating in your own life is that
• 9:17
  SPEAKER_01: the question stops moving, you will remain on the sidelines forever.
• 9:21
  SPEAKER_00: You really will.
• 9:23
  SPEAKER_00: And she traces this back to something so vulnerable from her past.
• 9:26
  SPEAKER_00: She talks about growing up as the girl who never made the list.
• 9:30
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah,
• 9:30
  SPEAKER_01: wondering if she was beautiful enough or interesting enough to be chosen by the boys
• 9:34
  SPEAKER_01: in her class.
• 9:35
  SPEAKER_00: She learned that feeling of exclusion so early.
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_00: And it's just a tragic irony to me.
• 9:40
  SPEAKER_00: She grew up.
• 9:41
  SPEAKER_00: She became successful.
• 9:42
  SPEAKER_00: She traveled the world.
• 9:43
  SPEAKER_00: She had a family.
• 9:44
  SPEAKER_01: The bullies are long gone.
• 9:45
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 9:46
  SPEAKER_00: But she just absorbed their role.
• 9:48
  SPEAKER_00: She started doing their job for them, leaving herself out of the picture.
• 9:52
  SPEAKER_01: It's a profound observation on how early social conditioning hardwires us.
• 9:57
  SPEAKER_01: The external threats disappear in adulthood,
• 10:00
  SPEAKER_01: but the brain doesn't turn off the scanning software.
• 10:02
  SPEAKER_00: It just turns inward.
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_01: Exactly.
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_01: It needs a threat to monitor.
• 10:06
  SPEAKER_01: So we internalize the exclusion.
• 10:07
  SPEAKER_01: The playground disappears, but the brain says, I must still be flawed.
• 10:12
  SPEAKER_00: So we decide we aren't thin enough or settled enough to be in the visual record.
• 10:17
  SPEAKER_00: We do the bully's job with ruthless efficiency.
• 10:20
  SPEAKER_01: So the question is,
• 10:21
  SPEAKER_01: if life is guaranteed to always have some unresolved mess,
• 10:25
  SPEAKER_01: how do we break this habit of self-exclusion?
• 10:27
  SPEAKER_00: Callas argues we have to completely redefine what confidence actually means.
• 10:32
  SPEAKER_01: And we desperately need to because
• 10:34
  SPEAKER_01: the self-help industry sells us this weaponized version of confidence.
• 10:38
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 10:38
  SPEAKER_00: Like it's this feeling of total invincibility,
• 10:40
  SPEAKER_00: looking in the mirror and genuinely believing you are flawless.
• 10:44
  SPEAKER_01: The eradication of all insecurity.
• 10:46
  SPEAKER_01: But Callas pivots away from that.
• 10:50
  SPEAKER_01: She redefines confidence not as a feeling, but as a decision.
• 10:54
  SPEAKER_00: She says it is deciding that your life is worth appearing in before you have perfected it.
• 10:59
  SPEAKER_01: Deciding it's worth appearing in before it's perfect.
• 11:01
  SPEAKER_01: It removes physical appearance from the equation entirely.
• 11:04
  SPEAKER_00: It's just a fundamental assertion of your right to exist.
• 11:08
  SPEAKER_00: And the emotional climax of the essay is how she applies this.
• 11:11
  SPEAKER_00: She shifts her perspective to her son.
• 11:13
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 11:13
  SPEAKER_01: She imagines him decades from now looking through these digital archives of his childhood.
• 11:17
  SPEAKER_00: And when a child looks at a photo of their mother from 20 years ago,
• 11:21
  SPEAKER_00: they are not inspecting her jawline.
• 11:22
  SPEAKER_01: No, they don't care about the five pounds you were agonizing over or the wrinkles.
• 11:26
  SPEAKER_01: They are utilizing a completely different set of metrics.
• 11:29
  SPEAKER_00: They just want to see their mother.
• 11:31
  SPEAKER_00: They are looking for proof of love, proof of presence.
• 11:34
  SPEAKER_01: And Callus admits this stings because she was physically present for all of it.
• 11:39
  SPEAKER_01: She was there when he first touched the ocean.
• 11:41
  SPEAKER_00: She was there for the quiet, magical mornings.
• 11:44
  SPEAKER_00: She just denied the camera permission to document it because of her own self-critique.
• 11:49
  SPEAKER_01: We hold ourselves to an aesthetic standard that our loved ones would never, ever apply to us.
• 11:54
  SPEAKER_01: And recognizing that shifts how we understand gratitude.
• 11:58
  SPEAKER_00: I'm so glad you brought that up because gratitude is a tricky word right now.
• 12:02
  SPEAKER_00: It often feels like toxic positivity, you know, like pretend the hard things aren't happening.
• 12:06
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 12:07
  SPEAKER_01: But that's not what she's advocating.
• 12:09
  SPEAKER_01: Authentic gratitude doesn't ask you to ignore the career panic or the body dysmorphia.
• 12:14
  SPEAKER_00: No, it's the refusal to let one difficult thing become the whole picture.
• 12:17
  SPEAKER_01: Exactly.
• 12:18
  SPEAKER_01: She can hold both truths.
• 12:20
  SPEAKER_01: Her professional life was a source of massive anxiety.
• 12:23
  SPEAKER_01: That was true.
• 12:24
  SPEAKER_00: But inside that same frame, her son was thriving.
• 12:27
  SPEAKER_00: She had built physical strength.
• 12:28
  SPEAKER_00: The water was warm.
• 12:29
  SPEAKER_01: There will perpetually be something hovering just outside the frame
• 12:33
  SPEAKER_01: that we are desperately trying to fix.
• 12:35
  SPEAKER_01: But that doesn't negate the beauty in the center of the picture.
• 12:39
  SPEAKER_00: So practically speaking,
• 12:41
  SPEAKER_00: if someone is listening to this and realizing they've been dodging the camera
• 12:44
  SPEAKER_00: for years, what do they do?
• 12:46
  SPEAKER_00: Is it just take more selfies?
• 12:49
  SPEAKER_01: It's an active, uncomfortable practice of reclaiming your presence.
• 12:53
  SPEAKER_01: It means asking someone to take the picture when you're a month postpartum
• 12:58
  SPEAKER_01: and operating on two hours of sleep.
• 13:00
  SPEAKER_00: We're taking it at 45 when your career makes absolutely no sense.
• 13:04
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 13:04
  SPEAKER_01: You take it when you feel radiant and you force yourself to take it when you feel invisible.
• 13:09
  SPEAKER_01: And crucially, you disconnect this from social media entirely.
• 13:12
  SPEAKER_00: You're not taking these for an audience.
• 13:14
  SPEAKER_01: You're taking them for your future self.
• 13:16
  SPEAKER_01: Because a decade from now,
• 13:17
  SPEAKER_01: you'll stumble across that photograph and the perceived flaw
• 13:20
  SPEAKER_01: that consumed you will have evaporated.
• 13:23
  SPEAKER_00: You won't see the messy hair.
• 13:24
  SPEAKER_00: You'll see the tiny hand of the baby you were holding.
• 13:26
  SPEAKER_01: You'll look at the image and just think, look at that life.
• 13:29
  SPEAKER_01: And you will wish you had been kinder to the woman who was brave enough to live it.
• 13:33
  SPEAKER_00: Be kinder to the woman living it.
• 13:35
  SPEAKER_00: That really is the central thesis here.
• 13:37
  SPEAKER_00: The woman you keep waiting to become,
• 13:39
  SPEAKER_00: that frictionless future version, she doesn't deserve the picture.
• 13:43
  SPEAKER_01: No, she doesn't.
• 13:44
  SPEAKER_00: The woman who is already in the arena, navigating the mess of reality, she is the one.
• 13:50
  SPEAKER_00: Who deserves to be remembered.
• 13:51
  SPEAKER_00: She's earned the right to exist in the visual record of her own life.
• 13:54
  SPEAKER_01: Absolutely.
• 13:55
  SPEAKER_00: Well, a huge thank you to everyone tuning in for this deep dive.
• 13:59
  SPEAKER_00: The beautiful essay we explore today is I Was There Too,
• 14:03
  SPEAKER_00: written by Julia Callas for her platform, Just Julia.
• 14:07
  SPEAKER_01: It is definitely worth reading in its entirety.
• 14:10
  SPEAKER_00: It really is.
• 14:10
  SPEAKER_00: And if you want to explore more of her writing on identity,
• 14:13
  SPEAKER_00: motherhood,
• 14:13
  SPEAKER_00: and confidence,
• 14:14
  SPEAKER_00: the Just Julia podcast is also available right now on Substack,
• 14:18
  SPEAKER_00: Spotify, and Apple Podcasts.
• 14:20
  SPEAKER_01: As you head out into your week, we want to leave you with a final thought to mull over.
• 14:24
  SPEAKER_01: The next time you find yourself shrinking away from a camera lens or holding back
• 14:28
  SPEAKER_01: from a milestone because you aren't quote unquote ready yet, pause.
• 14:33
  SPEAKER_01: Ask yourself,
• 14:34
  SPEAKER_01: if this exact moment were a memory I was looking back on 10 years from now,
• 14:38
  SPEAKER_01: what beautiful thing would I realize I completely missed simply
• 14:41
  SPEAKER_01: because I was too busy criticizing the frame?