Latest / Harder Than Life / 94: Leadership, Love, and Lifelong Success w/ Rudi Riekstins

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94: Leadership, Love, and Lifelong Success w/ Rudi Riekstins · Harder Than Life

• 0:00
  I'm Kelly Siegel, and this is Harder Than Life, a podcast about self-love, self-awareness, business, and health. We tell outrageous stories and boil everything down to simple, practical advice you can start using today. Let's get living.
• 0:14
  Welcome to the Heart of Life podcast. Today, we have the privilege of hosting Rudy Rickstein, the leader of leaders, renowned for helping business leaders and entrepreneurs forge deeper connections with their teams and missions, featured as a Thrive Global Top Number 5 coach alongside Tony Robbins, and recognized with Dr. Joe Dispenza and Deepak Chopra as a Top 20 Thought Leader, Rudy specialized
• 0:40
  mindful approach to leadership has empowered thousands to achieve unprecedented success. He's also the co-host of the Empowered Life podcast, where he educates listeners on unlocking their personal power for joy, success, and self-mastery. Join me in welcoming the transformational Rudy Ricksteins. Kaylee, how are you? So great to be here, buddy. You know, I didn't put in there that I should have said my good friend and family. Yeah.
• 1:09
  You know how I feel about you. I love you very much. And we're going to start right off with that. Your genius and your brilliance and your kindness is big. And today's episode is going to be deep. And I want you to be who you are when it's just the two of us. Because the Heart of Life listeners will eat you up like I do. So...
• 1:32
  You know, the first question I have is going to be about family, because I got the honor of hanging out with you and your beautiful children. And I'm still convinced one of the two, if not both of them, are going to be president one day. It's when we get back to being ethical is when they will be. But beautiful, beautiful family. And thank you for your friendship and your love and what you're putting into this world. You and your wife, Aniston, are beautiful.
• 1:57
  Well, I appreciate you, man. We love and adore you. Every time my son hears you on the phone, he's like, is that Mr. Kelly? Are you talking to Mr. Kelly? Can you tell him I said hi? So we obviously appreciate you and we value and love your friendship so much. Your words mean so much, so much more than I can possibly even articulate. So how do you ensure your balance for your coaching career and nurturing this strong family connection that I witnessed myself?
• 2:25
  You know, I think that so many people are living a life where they're pouring into a single bucket. And I want to introduce right up front just a concept that I heard years ago. And it made so much sense to me that I literally altered the way I show up in life. And that is about fractional growth.
• 2:43
  You know, fractional growth is where you focus in on one area of your life and you're only pouring into that one area. This applies in personal lives. This applies in relationships. It also applies in business. And I want you to think about this. If we were talking about an organization now, most companies are wanting to grow revenue. So they focus all of their time, their effort, their energy, their training, and their development is going into building more revenue. But what about the infrastructure to support the revenue that will come?
• 3:10
  And so if you're only focusing in on one area of your life, then inevitably it's going to burst. And so I use the analogy of a balloon. If I were to be blowing up a balloon, I would want the circumference of the balloon to blow up evenly as the air is filling this tube.
• 3:25
  But if the balloon were to have a lot of flack on one side and then the other side, it starts to expand more and more and more and eventually the balloon would burst because the integrity of the balloon is not growing at the same rate. So when I focus in on my life or in on my business, I'm wanting to make sure that every single area of my life is expanding equally and proportionately. And so I focus a tremendous amount of energy on expansion.
• 3:48
  if I'm really invested into a project at work, I have to have these stop gaps where I realize, okay, I put a lot of time and energy into something here. Where else in my life am I not putting in the same level of energy? And so for me, that's going to be my kids. For me, that's going to be my wife. I spend two hours a day every single day with my wife, two hours every day.
• 4:09
  And if we think about that, so many people say, oh, man, I don't have 30 minutes to go to the gym in a day. I find two hours a day to spend with my wife. And that's in addition to the time I spend with my kids or the dinner that we have or the things that I do for myself because those are the things that are important to me. And so that could be just sitting and having a conversation, sitting in front of a wood fire, getting in a hot tub, having a dinner, going for a walk.
• 4:31
  But we are committed every day to being able to do those things. And so your question is beautiful, but the answer is really simple if you prepare to do the work. You know, we all want to have a great life. We want to live this robust life. But if we're not intentional about what we're going to do with our time, we're never going to get there. We're never going to achieve it. Boom. Microphone dropped right off the bat. I got to tell you, everybody, there's obviously a big man crush here, but this is a masterclass you're going to get from Rudy.
• 4:58
  He lives life the right way, always two hours with his wife. And that doesn't include in bed. That's just during the waking hours because I've seen it. They go on walks. They do cold plunges together. They co-create. They do podcasts together. It is. This is truly Rudy is a love story, but a love of all things life.
• 5:23
  including his wife. So I salute you for that. And I love that fractional growth. You know what I think of right away? Because we both...
• 5:30
  always have different spins on things, but end at the same spot is I think of an ice cube tray. Remember before they had, I was so poor, we didn't have automatic ice makers as children. So we had to actually fill up the ice trays and put them in the freezer. So if you, if you pour the water in one, it kind of spills over, spills over, spills over, or you kind of can rub it all along through. What I'm hearing you say is we kind of got to move the water along
• 5:57
  and fill up each individual ice cube at the same level. There's a new analogy for you. So what role does personal growth play in your daily routine and how do you instill that mindset into those beautiful children? You know, I again, I'm going to reference something I learned years ago and that is, you know, everything in the universe is in a constant state of expansion.
• 6:24
  If you look right now, there are galaxies that are busy being formed, which means planets and moons and stars and everything is in a constant state of growing. If you look out in nature, everything is in a constant state of growing. And if something isn't growing, it's in a state of dying. And so everything is either growing or dying.
• 6:41
  And if you yourself are not growing, then you are in a state of decay, you're dying. And so I'm always wanting to learn. I'm always wanting to grow. I'm always wanting to pick up books. I'm an avid reader. I'm an avid learner. I want to learn from every single person because I believe everybody has tremendous value and everybody has a story and a vantage point based on their life experience. And in getting the privilege of spending time with anyone
• 7:04
  we get to learn and gain from their life experience without having had gone through their experience. So we get the cliff notes of it. But I also learned that if you are in relation with someone and you've got a partnership with someone and you're not growing at the same rate as they are, then you're in the process of growing apart. And so your relationship then would be in a decay. And so if my wife is all of a sudden interested in something like,
• 7:28
  Six, seven years ago, she came home with a numerology book and she's like, oh, I'm obsessed with numerology. And then she dove into all things numerology and became a master numerologist not to sell the service because she was just fascinated. Well, at that rate, I had to start reading numerology books.
• 7:43
  I had to start taking an interest in numerology, something that I could care very little about. But I had to because she had an interest in it. And if she grew and expanded her mind into that and I didn't, then we would be essentially growing apart on that topic. And that's the crack or the foundation for people to separate or to grow apart from each other.
• 8:01
  And so we instilled it in our children from a very, very young age. I remember my kids being two, two and a half years old, three years old, and wanting to throw themselves on the floor and have temper tantrums and being in a grocery store or something and saying like, I want that, that kind of behavior that you would see in kids. My kids didn't do that because I remember the first time my son got down on the floor to throw his toys out of the cot, so to speak, I lay down on the floor in front of him and he was lying on the floor. And so I lay down like this.
• 8:30
  And I put my face next to his and I just said to him, Hey buddy, I just want you to know happiness is a choice brother. And that in any moment you get to decide if you know, you want to be happy or if you want to be sad. And we were coaching him essentially through, you know, this is everything in life is about a choice and about how you want to show up and how you want to grow. And, you know, I had that conversation with him at two, two and a half years old, and he got up off the floor. He didn't have the temper tantrum. I will tell you he didn't snap out of it and be happy instantly. Okay.
• 8:58
  But the reason I share that is because three years or four years after that, I was in a business meeting in Miami and my wife brought my kids over because I had been in these meetings for seven straight days. And she brought them over to have lunch with me. And my son walked into that boardroom unannounced to me. He just started presenting to everybody. And what came out of his mouth was happiness is a choice. And at every moment you get to decide. And he started recanting what he learned
• 9:26
  two and a half years, three years before that, in that meeting. And he had everybody captivated as he was entertaining the world with his antics, but he was regurgitating something that he learned years ago. And so I realized an invaluable lesson in that moment that we're always in a state of learning and growing, learning and growing. And what is it that we're learning? And what are we intentionally teaching? And so we love to bring that into not only our family, but into everybody that we come into contact with.
• 9:51
  And I've seen it firsthand. He is absolutely right. Happiness is a choice. And I love the backstory because all I got to see was this brilliant, articulate, kind, engaging young fellow who, who I believe he's going to be president. But happiness is a choice. Let's expound upon that, but wait, hold on a second. You know what? I want to say you guys, if you're not following Rudy,
• 10:17
  I know this guy intimately. He is amazing. Go follow him. Rudy Ricksteins on Instagram. It's R U D I R I E K S T I N S at Rudy Ricksteins. And then also, um,
• 10:30
  I actually, you know, we run an IT consulting firm and I'm using Rudy's genius as an offer to meet with some of our clients. And I was on his website. I noticed that you have some some course materials that are very affordable that I want to share with people as well. It is you go to Rudy Ricksteins dot com.
• 10:51
  And there is an area where, where exactly is the coaching? Under resources, some free books, free meditations. And then I've got some courses people can purchase. Yeah.
• 11:02
  Yeah, I was on there. That was beautiful. I felt weird because I was going to buy them. And I'm like, I know you're going to freak out. I want to listen to them because I just want to absorb all that you have to offer. Because you're a student of the game. I've seen you do it. You work diligently at everything you do. Nothing is mailed in. And I just really appreciate it. So follow Rudy. Go to his website. Check out these videos. This guy will help you all day. And I have been binging.
• 11:30
  On your podcast with your wife. And it's so weird, because everything happens at the right time when it's supposed to happen. And I listen to some of your podcasts, and it's like you and your wife are talking directly to me. Let's use a couple minutes before we get into this happiness as a choice, because we're going to deviate. Talk about your, when's your beautiful wife's book coming out? What's it about?
• 11:52
  You know, her book comes out in January and it's called The Universe is Hiring. And this is such an interesting journey because she's actually written, I think three books, fully written three books, but this is the first one she's actually going to be publishing. And she really wanted to find a publisher. She didn't want to just put a book out
• 12:12
  She wanted to go through the journey of having somebody turn around and say, wow, we want your book. We love your book. We think your book has value. And so she wrote this book and then submitted it to all these different publishing houses. Hay House came back and said, wow, we love your book.
• 12:29
  We actually want to give you an honorable mention. We think this is absolutely incredible. And she didn't make it into Hay House, but then right after that, her publisher picked her up. And so it is a book really about reminding people of the power, the force, the flow, and the divinity that flows to them and through them, and that every single person on the planet has come here to do something really unique and something brilliant. And we are uniquely qualified.
• 12:55
  to be who we came here to be and that the universe has hired you and you specifically to do something really profound in the world. And so it's just a reminder of the brilliance that is you. And I think everybody needs a little reminding from time to time. I know I do. I love you, man. I love her. I will promise to, I told this when I was at your house, I will have her on the Hard Life podcast. We will dissect that book in and out. I was listening to your podcast, the Empowered Podcast and Empowered Life,
• 13:25
  I heard you say that this is the first book she's published. What has she done with the others? You know, they sit on her desktop in these little folders that have been collecting dust. And, you know, that's for a myriad of reasons. But we all come up against limiting beliefs where we do something. And then at the point where we finally finished it, because, you know, statistically speaking, 90% of people who want to write a book never even finish the book. She's finished the books. And then they just sit there.
• 13:55
  am I ready to put it out into the world? And at those points, she just, she wasn't ready to put them out. Now she is, but she wants to go back and rewrite them because she feels like she's grown as a person and she's no longer the person she was when she wrote the books. And so she's gonna go through the process and redo them.
• 14:10
  Oh, I identify with that. I literally just recorded three videos with your offering in them and immediately had like, oh, I could do so much better. But, you know, progress over perfection. We're going to hear a lot of the one liners from us, but they're true. I say them to remind myself just as much as anything. I immediately when you said that, I'm like, there's a limiting belief and it's so hard for me to wrap my hands around that because I know your wife and it's like,
• 14:36
  What could she possibly limit? But then I watch myself do it. You know, I'm one of the most confident guys you'll ever meet. You never know when I'm thinking something, but that subconscious is something else. So, which leads us to our next question, which over two decades of leadership training, how has your approach to leadership evolved? What core principles have remained consistent? Because we're both...
• 15:00
  students of the game, constantly learning, and an absolute sponge on a learn-it-all. So what has remained the same and what's evolved? Yo, I mean, that is a question we could probably spend the next 12 hours on. To simplify the response, I would say to you that the fundamentals of leadership that I've learned over almost 23, 24 years now of doing this is that you have to first start by leading yourself.
• 15:27
  And that if you ever want to be a leader and you want to take charge of your life or you want to achieve something, then your responsibility is to make sure that you show up for you first. And if we are wanting to lead, by definition, leadership is holding one's hand and marching people forward. Well, if you're not leading yourself and you don't have structure and stability in your own life, then you're not prepared or qualified to be able to lead anybody else in any direction.
• 15:51
  And so the fundamentals has always been to me to take care of myself, to fill my cup first. We always hear that, you know, you need to fill your cup because if you give everything from your cup, then you've got nothing to give. And the logic stands that if you fill your cup so much so that your cup overflows and then it fills into the saucer and it continues to spill over into the saucer, the world can drink from your saucer, but you will never deplete from your cup. And so it has always been...
• 16:20
  one of my core fountain beliefs is that you have to make sure that you fill your cup every single day. And so I pour into me and I have a routine that I've been doing for 13 years now without fail, but my morning routines really started 20 years ago. But for 13 years, I've done the same routine every single day, day in and day out, day in and day out, regardless of what's happening in my environment. And that prepares me and qualifies me to be the leader that I am that goes into the world. And so your question really was, what is the core foundation
• 16:48
  that never changed and that is that we always need to take care of ourselves first. What has been the evolution is as we have grown in our awareness to who we are as human beings, how our bodies work, the energy that surrounds us, the techniques have changed. Neuroscience has escalated to a rate that we can now quantify what are some of the benefits of the work of what it is that we're doing when we talk about self-leadership.
• 17:11
  And so the things I started doing 13 years ago today, we can prove through science that they're working. And more than that, they're working, they're giving us a skillset and tools and an ability to create, live the life that we really want to be able to live. And so I would implore anybody that's listening to this to really ask themselves, what is it that they're doing every single day to lead themselves before they want to walk out of the house and lead someone else? So in filming my, uh,
• 17:39
  Grand Slam offer for national technology management. I literally, I know your style so well, but it's scary because it really is about self. It is insane. And we're going to dig into that about the mindset of a CEO, of a leader and, you know,
• 17:55
  I was going to say that like literally in my, in my, and I pulled back because I didn't want to scare anybody. I just said, we're going to, we're going to let you have an introductory call to a top five business coach, because I didn't want to say, Oh, he's going to get into your mind and talk about that self leadership. And, and I would, I would argue that you were a savant. You were talking about, you know, Hey, leadership starts from within. Yeah.
• 18:22
  And then science caught up to you. And all of a sudden, now you're hearing more and more. As a matter of fact, my TED Talk is going to be about this very tactic. It wasn't, you know, I've owned a successful IT business for 27 years. It wasn't until I started working on this that we achieved massive success. That's when things went on the board. So, guys, if you think, guys and gals, any leader out there, any C-level person out there, any person,
• 18:51
  that is looking to become a boss, an entrepreneur, a business owner, whatever. I'm going to tell you, you're not going to reach the levels that you want to reach without looking inside and dealing with all the shit that's going on in your head, which is exactly what we're going to talk about right now. How can unresolved childhood trauma manifest in business leaders and impact their ability to lead effectively? Pick on me if you want to.
• 19:18
  So let's ground something right up front. Every single person on the planet is first and foremost a person. They're a human being. And every single human being inside of a business has their own personal traumas, trials, tribulations, successes, failings forward. And every single one of those people bring all of those experiences with them every single place they go.
• 19:43
  And yet in so many organizations, we're expecting people to show up at work and leave their problems at the door. They have to come in, they've got to punch in, they've got to produce at an extremely high level, and then they've got to leave and go home and pick their problems, their trials, their tribulations, their limiting beliefs, their insecurities, and then their successes, their goals, their dreams and their visions, and all of that. They pick it up at the front door, they take it back home, they get to live their life for a few hours, go to sleep, wake up, and then they've got to stop being them again and show up at work.
• 20:11
  And when we really understand that every single person that comes to work does not have the ability to leave all of those things at the door, they're bringing them with them. And every one of those things are affecting how people show up in their life. We don't have to make this about work. We can make this just about people in life in general.
• 20:28
  I want to clarify, I spend the bulk of my time coaching people inside of companies and not one-on-one work. I'm talking about entire organizations, starting with the leaders all the way down, because that's where I find the bulk of people spend the bulk of their time. But this doesn't only apply to people in work. And so if you're just listening to this and you're a solopreneur, you're a stay-home dad or a stay-home mom, this applies to every single person on the planet.
• 20:55
  Regardless of what it is that you're doing or anyone you come into contact with, you are meeting the whole person.
• 21:03
  The minute you're interacting with somebody, you are interacting with the childhood trauma, you're interacting with every failing forward, every good thing, bad thing, negative thing, anything that they've ever experienced in that moment because we are the sum total of everything that we've ever experienced. In every moment you have an experience and from the experience you get a vantage point. That vantage point gives you a new level of awareness. You bring that new level of awareness into your next interaction. And we then become the sum total of all of those experiences.
• 21:30
  What's so fascinating is the human brain, when we really understand how the brain works, is under the age of seven, the human brain is absorbing all information in as a fact. All of those facts then create the bandwidth for how is that person going to show up for the rest of their life. It's like a roadmap. And so if as a child, you had to fight or defend to save your life, then in heightened states of stress, you're going to be an aggressive person who shows up who has to defend and fight for their position.
• 21:57
  If under the age of seven, you were told to be quiet and to be small and to go away and children shouldn't be seen or heard, well, you're going to play small. You're going to write a book and you're not going to publish your book. You're going to want to move forward and start a business, but you're not going to have the courage or the confidence. You're going to walk into a room with the biggest, best idea. And then all of a sudden, when the time is ready to put your idea forward, you're going to take as little space as possible and play really small.
• 22:27
  Later in life, when you want to fall in love and you walk into a room and you meet the person that catches your eye and every part of you says, oh my gosh, I want to be in a relationship with that person. I want to know that person. And then when they talk to you, you run away and you don't call them back and you don't show up. Well, those are default reactions to traumatic experiences based on your childhood.
• 22:47
  And we are not showing up in our day-to-day as the whole versions of ourselves because we're an unconscious program. 95% of every single thing that you do every single day is an unconscious reaction based on the formula that was created under the age of seven.
• 23:05
  And so what I really want to implore people to do is to listen to the response to your question because we get to ask ourselves, who's in control right now? Are you reacting based on the formula of how you showed up under the age of seven? Or are you in every single moment of every single day showing up as the person you want to be? And we need to take control of the unconscious program so we can be more present. And the work really that I'm speaking into is about reminding people
• 23:32
  that you have the power and the potential to be anything. But the majority of us, which is 95% of everything that we do, which is my estimates at least 98% of the people on the planet are not living their lives intentionally. They're walking into a room. They are reacting to situations, reacting to circumstance. They run, they hide, they fight, they get aggressive, whatever it is that they're doing. And in that moment, they've actually given themselves over to a default pattern
• 23:57
  And so when we start to ask ourselves better questions, we become conscious. And when we become conscious, we take back that control. And the traumas and the triggers from our childhood, they no longer control us. Because every trigger or trauma you had as a childhood is going to be replayed throughout your life. And it's going to get more intense until eventually you deal with it. And so back to the audience, what is it that you've dealt with? What is the common theme that comes up in your life? And if you could, would you create the change? Because the change is very possible for you.
• 24:28
  rewind that and listen to it. That was the hundred million dollar question. I got to tell you, I'm going to speak for myself, but I have done enough research and Rudy can back this up that this is what I'm going to say is very common. What got me here isn't going to get me there. What got me here is going to keep me here. So I made it to mid seven figures being a scared little boy.
• 24:52
  the IT company, National Technology Management. I was scared. And I just, as long as I put this tough front up and this big guy walked in the room and outworked everybody, I could mask the fact that I was nervous. I was scared to death. I thought I was going to die because my childhood was so chaotic and extremely scared and fearful because I never knew when I was going to get...
• 25:16
  or abused or even more. Food was a trigger for me where there was never any food. So I literally harnessed that into a positive. But then I reached a level of success and that wasn't working for me anywhere. That aggressive fight, literally everything was a fight. So everything was a freaking nail and I was hitting it with a hammer. Well, guess what? Not everything is a nail. So now that I've started the heart of the life journey, I've gotten...
• 25:44
  push NTM higher by become unbecoming that person becoming much more soft. And what you're seeing is I remember back in the day, you didn't bring feelings to work. You didn't bring your personal life to work. That was taboo. That was weak. Now you're hearing more and more vulnerability. And I at national technology management push that culture. So you've been working with me and,
• 26:09
  to unbecome those, to get to the next notch. Different levels require different, encounter different devils and require different versions of you. So I said all of that to ask you this question. What do you, are you able, if someone isn't doing any personal development and they hire Rudy Richstein to come in,
• 26:29
  Do you then recommend they do therapy? Because I did mine in reverse. I went and did all this therapy to unbecome who I was and understand my child trauma. And then, boom, I get access to Rudy and say, hey, what do I got to do to do the next thing? And you're just like, continue doing what you're doing.
• 26:46
  What do you recommend if somebody's doing nothing? I'll go back to the opening statement that we spoke about, you know, fractional growth. If you're not growing yourself, if you're not doing any form of internal dialogue, any form of learning, any self-discovery, then what is it all for?
• 27:04
  You know, you built a very successful mid-seven-figure company by being a hustler and fighting and pushing and driving and making it happen. And we can turn around and say, well, that behavior drove profound results in your life. Look at you. You're now successful. Yeah.
• 27:21
  But what we weren't talking about was how happy were you? How much freedom did you have? How much joy did you have? How much peace did you have in your life? And did you wake up in the morning and feel good about yourself and go to bed at night and feel at peace and in love? And so, you know, we're not measuring those things every single day because the silly yardstick that we're using is what car do we drive? What house do we live in? And what clothes do we? And none of that stuff means anything.
• 27:44
  But when we start to look at who we are as a holistic person, and when we feel good about who we are, we feel good about how we show up, well, now all of a sudden, we have something that is quantifiable. And I think success is not measured in just dollars, because we've all, or let's say anyone who has achieved success is going to turn around and tell you that it was never the money that brought them the greatest levels of joy fulfillment. And so when you build something based out of,
• 28:11
  fear or drive and you're not turning around and asking the questions like, who am I? Who do I want to be? How can I be a better person? Why did I make that decision? Why do I act this way? Could I act in a different way? What is the outcome of what I want to be? When I walk into that room, how do I want to impact that room? How do I want people to think or feel about me when I leave? These are really important things to ask because it's going to prepare you to show up in a room very differently.
• 28:34
  I'm just going to tell you that everything that you've ever done to achieve what it is that you've achieved, there is an easier way. And the easiest way to align with the highest and the greatest potential of who you want to be is to tap into the divinity that already is you, the brilliance that already is you. There's nothing.
• 28:51
  outside of you that you need to be to become the person that you want to be. You already are this magnificent human being. The difference is you're allowing people to tap into that, and it has to start with you first. You've got to fall in love with you first. You've got to start loving you first. You've got to start giving you space, you freedom, you joy, and you permission to be all of who you are.
• 29:13
  And then we want to have a little bit of a want to be better. And so if I can every single day take accountability for the things I do right, and then more importantly, the things I do wrong, where can I make those micro adjustments and those micro improvements? And when I make those improvements, they have massive ripple effects and everything else. I believe in stacking evidence. And I think you're going to agree with me here, Kelly. If you go to the gym and you lift weights every single day, but you never see the results of the work that you're doing, you're going to stop going to the gym.
• 29:43
  But the same is going to be true. If you every single day turn around and say, how can I be a better person today? And then you make a change. Yesterday, I was rude to that person at work. I was short. I was ill-tempered. I could have been politer. Why was that while I was tired? Okay, well, tonight I'm going to go to bed earlier. I'm going to be more rested. Tomorrow I'm going to go in and I'm going to apologize. I'm going to be better tomorrow. And so we make that micro-adjustment. And then we walk into our life and we realize that,
• 30:10
  the impact that we're making is now better, we're starting to stack the evidence. And when we start to see the difference in how people show up to us when we show up differently to ourselves, that's the evidence that's required. And if we do that, and we do it every single day, incrementally, we're going to create profound shifts in our life and more importantly, in the lives of every single person around us. And there's your evidence. That's where you're going to see the
• 30:34
  And it becomes this thing where you want to continue to invest in you because you're seeing the growth and the change in the people around you. I always say when the student is ready, the teacher will appear. And that's what's going on with me that you're in my life now. I surrendered and now we're headed to the mid eight figures. So this work works. Everything you just said. Is is very paramount in my life, what.
• 31:01
  I'm actually in that phase. I would argue with me with my stubbornness and my consistency that even if I don't see, I believe in invisible progress. We've talked about this. And it's a lot easier to look for the signs that things are working. But sometimes it doesn't, sometimes God is testing you. And I would tell you right now, like I am knee deep in the grind.
• 31:29
  You've seen it. You've been right there with me. I cannot figure out why we, how to get this. And I shouldn't say this. I'm not going to, I mean, I'm correcting my words right now. I'm not going to put that on the universe. I am grinding every day to get this podcast to number one. We're currently stuck in the, in the twenties. We've dabbled in the teens. We're going to get this to number one. I don't know how I accept. I'm going to be consistent and I'm going to grind.
• 31:54
  Do I tend to scoreboard watch a lot? Yes. I check the freaking charts once a day to see where it's going. And I've noticed that since I stopped slow down and I only do it once a day and I'm not checking it twice a day, it's actually growing. So the whole thing for me is surrender. But I go to the gym. I'm at a point now where I can't, I don't know if I'm going to get any bigger. It is maintaining.
• 32:18
  So I would argue a little bit that you just got to have faith in the universe and in God, because we've talked about this many times, man. I am everywhere doing everything, and it feels like nothing's working right now. But I know that if I continue, I got this far grinding, and those were showing me massive numbers of success.
• 32:41
  Right now, I'm not seeing them, but I'm just continuing forward because I'm trusting God in the universe. So would you like to add anything to that? I have so much to add to that if you're okay with me using you. And so, you know, I want this to be an incredible example. So let's just repeat everything Kelly just said.
• 33:00
  He created a podcast. His podcast is relatively new, meaning it's not a five-year or 10-year-old podcast, right? And he's already been able to achieve top 20 podcasts. He's even been in the teens. Yet the terminology that you were using is, I am going to grind this out. I am going to push this thing up a hill and get it to number one. And what is the energy in what it is that the terminologies that you're using to drive it?
• 33:25
  And I have no doubt your podcast will get to number one because you've got all this tenacity and drive determination. But my question to you is why would you not say, oh, I'm going to lovingly, joyfully and beautifully float this podcast to number one with as little ease and work as possible? Did you notice that I just saw that you corrected me? I said grind because that's the old me. And then the new me, it corrected myself and said surrender and allow.
• 33:53
  So there's a fight going on. So listeners, you are seeing what Rudy does to a T. This is where his brilliance is. So keep going.
• 34:03
  Yeah, so let's break that down for a second. So we need to be in alignment, right? We have three bodies. We have a mental body, which is where we think our thoughts. That's where Kelly says, I've got to grind this out. I've got to hustle. I've got to make this happen. That's your mental body. Your mental body is going to energetically and emotionally and chemically update your physical body. So let's explain that. You think a thought. Well, that thought then has to be interpreted and put into the human body. Your human body is your third body. That's the physical tissue that makes up the person that you believe you are.
• 34:33
  But then you have a third body, and that is your energetic field. And your energetic body extends up to 15 feet past you in all areas. And so when you are wanting to have, to be, to do, or to achieve something, whether that is start a business, launch a podcast, fall in love, anything that you want to do, you can only ever achieve what it is that you want if you are in alignment with the end result of what it is that you're looking for.
• 34:57
  To say, I want to have the number one podcast is to have the mental thought. I want the podcast. Well, now your body is going to have an emotion or a chemical dumped into the body in the form of an emotion that is going to match to that feeling. And that is either going to be, I am worthy of a podcast. The podcast is coming. It's going to be number one. This is what it's going to feel like. Or it's going to trigger, oh, I'm not good enough or I'm not worthy. And that emotion will be dumped into your body.
• 35:24
  then the energy around you is going to be altered to match the frequency of that. The latest neuroscience tells us that every time you think a thought, your thought physically alters the physical matter around you. So by focused thought alone, you can literally change the molecular structure of some physical matter around you. And that includes your business, your bank account, your love, your life, your health, your well-being, your podcast, everything.
• 35:50
  And so all of those things are going to be altered and changed to match the frequency of the person that you're wanting to become. And if you are going to think a thought and say, I want to achieve this thing, I want to achieve this level of success, I want to achieve this status. But then you have a thought that says...
• 36:09
  in your mind, oh, I don't know if that's ever going to happen, or I have to push really hard, or everything that's ever come to me in life has been through challenge. And if that's the thought that you're having, the energy around you is now being updated, and it is no longer in alignment with the original thought. So your energy is working against the initial intent.
• 36:28
  When you can get your thoughts to update your body, your thought, your body to update your energy, and all three of those are in congruence. They're in alignment with what it is that you want. You're going to magnetically draw that experience to you immediately. Now, I used an example a moment ago where if you go to the gym, you want to see the results. If you keep going, you lift the weights, you eat the food.
• 36:46
  you're doing all the right things, you don't see the result, you can eventually stop because human behavior is this simple. We only ever do anything if we understand what is in it for us. And if we don't understand what's in it for us, we're never going to do it. But we also need to believe that what we want is possible.
• 37:02
  Most people don't have what they want because they don't believe that it's possible or they don't believe that it's possible for them. And so if you were going to create a goal, I want to have the number one podcast. It's going to be the biggest. It's going to be the best. This is what I'm going to be launching. Then you've got to believe that it is possible.
• 37:18
  Well, you already know, Kaylee, because we've had this conversation. You know what's possible. You know what's inevitable. Now you need to know that it's possible for you. And if you know that it's possible for you, the only way to do that is to look for evidence of where it is possible. Well, man, let me tell you.
• 37:35
  I think the statistic is that over 98%, I think it's 97%, 98% of all podcasts never have more than 100 downloads. So if you think about you're a top 20 podcast and out of the millions of podcasts that are out there that don't even get 100 or 80 to 100 downloads in a single episode, and you're doing tens of thousands of downloads for every single episode, that's right.
• 37:59
  How far are you ahead of that chart to be able to get there? You're in the top 20 and sometimes in the top teens when you're in your daily scroll of seeing where you are, the impact that you're creating. And all I would say to you is turn around and look at everything that you've done. Stack the evidence of how far you've got there. Release the pressure and enjoy the ride on the river because you're going down the river.
• 38:24
  The thing that's going to exponentially move you forward to get to that number one spot is to turn around and say, man, I've got incredible value of what I'm adding. I'm pouring love into this. People are going to gain and benefit from this. I'm doing it to connect with the people and look at how far we've come. Look at how proud I am of what it is that we've achieved. Read the thank yous, the notes, the comments, see the people coming into your community and then put your hands beautifully like this behind your head.
• 38:50
  Put your feet up on your desk and enjoy that journey. Because the moment we go into the scroll and the stress, we're anchoring ourselves back into the old belief. We're changing the energetic state that says, what if it doesn't come? What if it doesn't happen? And that energy is actually creating a barrier that's preventing us from getting what we want.
• 39:09
  So the less we have the barrier, the less we have the opposition energy, the opposition thought or the opposition force, the faster we're going to achieve the results. I know there was a tremendous amount, but in a really short amount of time, I wanted to be able to support you and your audience in understanding your thoughts need to align with your energy and with your emotional state. And if all three of those are going to be in the same, you're going to draw to you magnetically, vibrationally, what it is that you want exponentially faster.
• 39:39
  taking a ride on the river. Boom. That, my friends, my heart of the life listeners, is exactly why I had him on here. We're going to go long. I'm sorry. This is so, it's tremendous goodness here. Anybody who wants to be an entrepreneur, any kind of business, anybody that wants to grow needs to follow this man. He, I, I,
• 40:01
  I got even lost for words. I have access to a lot of people. Who do I call? Rudy. So I love you, man. That's just brilliance. And you dissect it perfectly and exactly what I need to hear when I need to hear it. So having said that, you literally, that's.
• 40:19
  Perfect, what you just said. What has been the toughest challenge you've faced while building this coaching business, though? Because what I just heard is such brilliance. Are you out of alignment? Are you not energizing it?
• 40:33
  Yeah, we're all out of alignment all the time. And that's the beauty of it, right? We have to stay consciously present. If 95% of how we are and how we show up is unconscious, we cannot presume to ever be 100% conscious and 100% in control of our lives. I've had some of the most beautiful and profound conversations sitting at dinner with you
• 40:51
  where we were at an event a couple of weeks back, and you just called me out at dinner. And you're like, man, you need to stop playing so small. When you walk into a room, you need to claim and own the space. And I sat there thinking, where on earth am I playing small? And then I'm lying in my hotel room, and I'm like, holy crap, man, Kelly is right. He saw right into me. I am playing too small. When I walk into a room, I'm wanting to diminish myself because I don't want to look like
• 41:17
  take over or always have an opinion, always have something to add or something to say. But when we had that beautiful conversation, and for your audience, just to put some context in, we were at an event, the two of us ran out, we grabbed dinner. And while we were sitting there at dinner, Kelly turns to me and he says, man, can I say something like, I love you and know we've got great friendship. I really feel like there's something I need to share with you. And then you turn around and you say to me, man, you walk into a room and it's like you dim your light.
• 41:43
  because you don't want your light to overshadow somebody else. And in the moment, I was like, wow, that was really honest, Kelly. Thank you. You're kicking my ass here at dinner. But when I went home, I thought about it and I was like, that was the most beautiful thing. Like I have wanted to have a friend in my life that will have the confidence, the courage to call me forward in the way that you so beautifully did.
• 42:03
  And it is so true because I didn't realize that that's what I was doing. But when I went back into my childhood, after having had that conversation with you, and I looked at my past and I looked at how I showed up, I would often be in an environment where the attention would be put on me. And I would have to dim my light so that other people next to me could also get equal attention because I didn't want to take all of the tension, all of the energy away. And so I learned a pattern of...
• 42:30
  behavior of walking into a room and taking up as little space as possible so other people could also have space. And now I'm 46 years old. I walk into rooms. I teach companies how to scale, to elevate. I'm reminding people of their brilliance and their divinity. And then in the same breath, I turn around, I walk into a bigger room, and I turn my light down because I don't want to take up too much space. And that is not a conscious choice. That's not Rudy. That is the default pattern of how Rudy used to show up. And so that was just a beautiful example of
• 42:59
  What does it look like to take the work, put it into practice every single day? And we're never going to know that much that we never have to do the work ourselves. That's when the student becomes the teacher. No, I wrote down small space because I remember I was hoping you were going to be vulnerable and tell the listeners how we work through that. Now, I'm going to blow your horn because that's not exactly what happened. What exactly happened?
• 43:24
  was Mr. Ricksteins, who is a learn-it-all, asked me for, asked me, because he wants to learn it, who can't, who, I know nothing of what you know, looked at me and said, what are you reading? I want you to coach me at dinner. And I was like taken back. And I, because-
• 43:44
  I have the tendency to say things so harsh and it got me, allowed me to practice being loving and kind and compassion. And I believe the way that I articulated it was very soft and enough for you to listen. And then I followed it up with a text the next day.
• 44:03
  And I sent you your own podcast and said, listen to these again, but listen to the perspective of taking up space. I wrote down in my notes, small space. You are huge. Your energy is huge. I said it in the introduction. You are huge.
• 44:23
  massive love and energy. And I want, and I keep telling you, I want you to take up as much space, spread your, physically spread your body out. So the reason why I'm saying that is because here's this brilliant man that gets paid a lot of money to cookers business was asking for help, which is the ultimate vulnerable and growth and way that we're, and it's two ways. So I love you for that. And thank you for being completely honest and vulnerable to talk about
• 44:52
  The being the inner child, which is such a cheat code. What you're feeling, what's coming up as a person, whether it be in business or not, is relevant. And that's your portal to success and happiness and fulfillment and insert superlatives here. So you're a master.
• 45:13
  At finding that. So that's why whenever I'm stuck, I just call you and you just tell me, remind me the same darn thing. I had to add to you too. You got to remember when you're, when I'm saying that, how far I've come, it's been 15 months. It's like, this launched on January 31st of last year. And I am the, but if I told you the things, I told you this before, if I told you the things that I say to myself, the standards that I hold myself to, it would crack most people.
• 45:42
  but I've been through hell. So that's why I'd never take anything back. My parents, as unloving as they were, made me the toughest son of a gun on earth. I'm fearless when I walk into this. You've seen it. So you saw a little bit of it. How do you help these business owners align with their mission and their team's goal to create this unified purpose? You just showed how we did it, but how do you do it when you go into someone that isn't your friend, someone you just met?
• 46:12
  Well, I'm going to go back and use you as an example here for a second, right? So you just said your parents supported you in becoming truly harder than life, okay? And so can we agree that your life has proven to you that in order for you to have anything and everything that you want, you have to work really hard. You have to push. You have to have unwavering discipline. You've got to make it happen. And if it's not going to happen, it's because you didn't push it across the finish line. Can we agree that that has been your life experience?
• 46:41
  I hate you. Just so you know, I hate you. You're absolutely right. You're, you're, this is a, you're, you're diagnosing me right now. And, oh, what have I said to you? I need to be, I just want, yes, we can agree. And thank you because you were, you just gave me the chills through my body. Keep going. Okay. So I'm going to follow up now. Would it be possible
• 47:05
  That for the rest of your life, you could achieve a hundred times what you've achieved and it could be easy. Yeah, man, you're going to make me cry because you're absolutely right. And you're just talking to my soul. This is how good you are, man. I'm the toughest son of a gun and you just de-armored me.
• 47:22
  Keep going. So many people believe that the only way to have something is based on how they've experienced something up until that point. And that is just one possibility or a number of possibilities, but it is not the only way that it is possible. When I walk into an organization, so many organizations have a dominant way that they think or a dominant way that they feel.
• 47:44
  I mentioned to you a moment ago, thoughts produce feelings, thoughts and feelings update the physical body, which drives all of the behavior of the person. But that's also true for a collective group of people. So if you walk into somebody's home, they have a husband, a wife and kids, you know, presumably-
• 48:00
  And in that example, husband, wife, and kids, they're all going to think and feel, and then the energy is going to have a certain dominant state. So that's how they're going to be. You could walk into somebody's house or business or life, and you could just feel like there's depression or anger or resentment or frustration. There's an undertone, or maybe they're super motivated, excited. When you meet them, you just want to spend more time with them. That is you picking up the energy of an individual. Right.
• 48:26
  Well, the same thing applies inside of a business. I can walk into a company, whether it's a 10-person, 70-person, or a 30,000-person company, and I just have to stand in the entrance of the organization, spend a little bit of time walking the hallways, and I can tell you what is the dominant state of what the people feel inside of that business. What is the overriding feeling?
• 48:46
  I was in a 30,000 person company and I was speaking to the CEO of the organization and she turned to me and she said, what is your feeling of the business? And I said, fear, there's tremendous fear in your business. And in self-diagnosing further, they turned around and shared with me there was tremendous fear inside their business because they had achieved the greatest revenue that ever achieved in their 30 or 40 year history of the organization. They all had massive 200% bonus payouts. It was an incredible year.
• 49:15
  And then the yurt ticked over and they brought me into coming and speak. And before I spoke, the leader was saying, we're all scared. What if we can't do it again? Because this is the new expectation now and the pressure has been so much and it took everything to get this result. And we don't think we've got what it takes to make more. And that was where the fear crept in. And so you've got to really be able to ask yourself, what is that overriding feeling of what you think and feel is the leader of your business? And then what is it that the people are picking up?
• 49:40
  And how are they responding to how you feel? Because that's creating a dominant state. And then every single person in the company is starting to magnetize and be aligned to what that feels like. When I go into an organization, I bring in more empowered questions. When you ask better questions, you get better answers. When you have more information, you can then make, again, better decisions.
• 50:00
  and ask better questions. And so you start to create this beautiful shift or change. What if the rest of your life, Kelly, became the easiest that you've ever done? What if all of a sudden you made more money, more clients, impacted more people, your podcast grew exponentially, your reach was even more, and you had more love, more joy, more freedom, more downtime? We always say, well, this is the only way that it can come
• 50:23
  If we do this, this, or this, because logic tells us, well, we have to do these things. Well, we don't work in a world that's based on logic. We work in a world that's based on energy and frequency. And action is the lowest vibrational frequency of anything. And so we're always getting into action. Let's do, do, do.
• 50:40
  But if we can get into aligning with the emotional state of what we want, we're now tapping into inspiration, intuition, creativity, logic, and reason. The reason I share this with you is the majority of people going into business today, and this is the latest statistics, 75% of the human population is suffering chronic stress more than 75% of the time. That means every single person that is in that equation, 75% of the population, is
• 51:05
  is waking up in a heightened state of chronic stress, living in a heightened state of chronic stress, going to bed in a heightened state of chronic stress. When you are in a state of stress, not chronic stress, just a state of stress, you lose the ability to be logical. So if somebody asks you a question and you need logic, you cannot find the solution to the question. You don't have reason, you don't have intuition, inspiration, and more than anything, you lose your ability to create. You can't even be creative in a state of stress.
• 51:33
  So if you can't be logical, you can't be creative, you can't have intuition, inspiration, now all of a sudden you've lost all of the faculties that make you the brilliant divine human being that you are. Now you put 30,000 of those people into one company and you expect the company to hit the next quota or the next big target. They're not going to be able to because they've lost all of the brilliance that makes up them.
• 51:56
  But when you can go in and teach an individual, a leader of a business or an entire organization how to reduce stress, how to tap into the inspiration, the creativity, how to take control or accountability for their life, where they're going, insert a potential future that could be easier and that could be even bigger results for them.
• 52:13
  I've gone into organizations doing a particular example is a company doing 380 million in revenue. And they said, I want to get to a billion dollars. And just over a year, being able to achieve the results of what they wanted. And we didn't touch product. We didn't touch marketing or we touched with the people. And all we did was help the brilliance of the individuals in the organizations reduce their stress, tap into their creativity. And all of a sudden, they had the solutions to drive their business and be able to move it forward. Yeah.
• 52:40
  And it was easy. And had they asked me up front, what's this process going to be like? I would have said to them, it's going to be the easiest thing that you've ever done. The hard part is doing the work, but it's not the same work as it is pushing a car up a hill or driving a podcast to be number one. It's about doing the internal work within yourself to create the momentum to fill your cup so that your cup overflows into your saucer. So you heard it first on Harder Than Life. Rudy will come in and triple your revenue.
• 53:11
  I'm just kidding. That's a remarkable story. $380 to a billion, guys. $380 to a billion. This guy is worth a billion dollars in helping your business. You said action is the lowest vibration. What's the highest?
• 53:27
  So the lowest vibration is actually guilt and shame. And if you actually think about from a vibrational frequency, action is the slowing down of energy. And so to clarify the statement, is anything that is in physical matter is the slowing down of energy. The highest frequency would be the thought itself, right? And then what is the energy of the thought? Right.
• 53:52
  But if we wanted to measure energy and the frequency, it would be gratitude and it would be love and it would be fulfillment and freedom and joy because those are very expansive feelings. When you say, I am going to work hard, I'm going to hustle, just look at the demeanor of your body when you say, I'm going to
• 54:09
  Grind it out, right? It's very tense. Like it feels restrictive. But when you say, oh man, I'm going to put my hands behind my head, my feet up on my desk. I'm going to kick my shoes off. I'm going to take a ride down the river. This is going to be joyful. It's going to be amazing. Well, what does that feel like? Does that feel restrictive or does that feel expansive? I got to tell you, of course it feels restrictive. But I got to tell you, this is a mastermind in and of itself. I don't think I'm going to have to tell anybody to share this episode or rate it.
• 54:38
  the brilliance that is coming out of you is second. And I was just, that's why everybody tells you to use love and gratitude, love and gratitude, because that'll change your frequency, raise your frequency, raise your vibration, which will attract everything to you. You just broke it down for us. So the harder than life coaching program just launched. And it's about business fitness and relationships. And you're obviously a business coach or you're fricking fabulous at it. You've been working with me to get that fitness up and you're,
• 55:06
  Where I think that you're the best is relationships and not just all relationships, specifically the relationship with your wife, Aniston. So how do you guys navigate working together while maintaining this healthy relationship besides the two hours a day? What is the the code? Because that's not commonplace to have so much time with your your your partner. But look at how you did a business, fitness relationship, all even.
• 55:34
  So how do you cultivate that with Aniston so well? I'm going to answer your question in a slightly different way than I think that you were anticipating, and that is that it's intentionality. There isn't a thing in the world that I don't do that I'm not intentional with. And so before I met my wife, I wrote out a list of every single quality of what I wanted in my life partner.
• 55:56
  It was a yellow legal pad and I filled both sides of the page with every single quality of what I wanted. I then stuck that on a wall in the room I was staying in and I read it every single morning and every single night so that I had clear vision of what I was looking for.
• 56:13
  For a period of over two years, every single person that I met that was a potential love interest, I would go through that list in my mind. Does she have these qualities? Yes, yes, yes, yes. No. The minute there was a no, that's it. End of conversation. End of discussion. We could be friends, but it never went further because there was a quality that was missing.
• 56:32
  When I met my wife, I knew in an instant, this is who I was going to marry. It was literally the first thought that I had was, Rudy, enjoy this because this is the last woman you're ever going to float with. And that was literally the first thought I had when I met my wife. And so I knew who she was when I met her because I had clarified what I was looking for in a partner.
• 56:51
  Part of what was on that list was I wanted to have a relationship with somebody where they saw me, 100%, completely saw me, and that I see them, and that we support and celebrate each other. And so in our relationship, we're always in a constant state of seeing each other. We're always in a state of nurturing, developing, growing. And I've done this not only in my relationship with Aniston.
• 57:16
  But I've done this for everybody in my life. I'm going to go out here and say, you know, a few years ago, my wife and I were sitting having a conversation and she said to me, what is something that's missing in your life right now? And this is a question we always ask each other. We ask what's missing in your life right now? What do you need? We ask, who do you want to be today? Because we don't have to stay the same. We always get to grow. We always get to evolve. So that's an important question. You know, who are you now? Yeah.
• 57:39
  My wife is not even the same person I married. She's a completely different human being than she was when I met her. And most people want their partners to stay the same. And we're constantly, you know, elevating, moving. Who do you want to be? Who do you want to grow? And how can I love you better today? And the question I asked you, like, man, how am I showing up? What is your experience of me? That's a question I ask my wife all the time, every week. Like, how can I be better? When I said we spend two hours a day together, it's those are the questions that are coming up.
• 58:07
  And what kind of husband have I been? If I could be better, what could make me better? And so at one point in time, my wife said, what's missing in your life? And I said, you know, I really am really missing good quality guy friends. Like I've got the most amazing relationship with you, with the kids. I have great business relationships. I have great friends. But what's really missing is,
• 58:27
  is a few key guys that see me the way that you see me, that love me the way that you love me, that I can love them back, that we can support, that we can encourage. And I did the same thing and wrote out a list of the quality of the friendships that I'm looking for. And there I am sitting having dinner with one of my guy friends and he turns around and gives me the most beautiful gift. And that gift was the conversation we shared a moment ago, but that was clarified on a piece of paper of the qualities of the friendships that I was looking to bring into my life.
• 58:54
  Because I'm looking for genuine relationships. I'm looking for people with meaning and with value. And those are the people that become my inner circle. And so that's how we became friends. But I also do that for people who work for me. I also do that for clients that come in. I have a list of every quality or characteristic of what I'm looking for in anybody I do business with. And so if I meet someone and they say, hey, I'd love to bring you into my company. This is how much money I'm going to pay you.
• 59:19
  And they don't fit the quality or the characteristics of the person that I want to be in partnership or in business with. I won't be in business with them because I have clarified all of these things. And so it's very easy for me to show up every single day to be the person that I want to be because I've already designed how it's going to look, who it's going to be, and how it's going to feel.
• 59:41
  And it sounds like a lot of work, but it makes life so much easier because then when the opportunities come to you, you recognize them. Now, for me, the work is not to continue to look for it. It's to nurture what's there. And that's why I'm able to nurture the relationship with Aniston. That's why I can very intentionally nurture the relationship with you or with my other friends or with my clients.
• 1:00:01
  I got a message from one of my clients this morning. It's her birthday today, and I did something to wish her happy birthday. And for me, it was something simple and seemingly easy to put together. And I reached out to everybody in a company that I'm working with, and I said, could you do me a favor and just send me a couple of one-liner messages of how the leader of your business has impacted you in some way, shape, or form? And then I compiled them all together, and I put them into a book, and I sent it to her for her birthday.
• 1:00:28
  She opened it up this morning and she said she spent the first two hours of her day crying. She was just in absolute tears, but tears of joy because in that moment, she realized what was the impact she was making in all the lives of the people in her company because she got to read it on her birthday.
• 1:00:44
  And the reason I share that example is because that gift took very little time on my part. It was a thought. There was a bit of intention behind it. And then, yes, there was a couple of copies and pastes to be able to compile it. But what was the impact that that was being able to create in the relationship with this person? And how is it going to impact them for the rest of their life and how they're going to get to show up? These are simple things that we can do. But if we don't do them, they don't drive the results or the behavior. And so we have to be intentional. Yeah.
• 1:01:12
  I don't believe I could have done any of those things and had any of these relationships if I didn't first clarify what was the quality of the relationship that I want. And that is to be able to see people, to have them see me, to pour into them, to have them pour into me, and for it to be a win-win. All right. We're up against it. That was beautiful. And you answered the next two questions that I was going to ask. But I want to point out my seagullism, the seagull summary of that, which is,
• 1:01:37
  Everything needs to be in an energetic alignment with you. And if you notice, and I'm going to point these two things out, that once it is and you say no to what's not for you, you're signaling the universe to bring what is for you. And it happens so fast. So you met Aniston. And by the time that you met her and the time you were married was how long? Six months. Six months, people. Now, how long have I known you? That's probably about six months, I would say. So once you send that energy out there,
• 1:02:06
  It comes fast. So listen to this man, people. People pay him a lot of money to help their businesses, but he's so much more than just a business coach. He literally all facets of life. You want to know about love? Watch him. Make sure that you go after and ask people to help you.
• 1:02:25
  that are doing the deed and he is living a life of alignment and the one thing we haven't talked about which is was kind of unwritten communicate communicate and communicate some more have those what they call tough conversations really tough because they're unfamiliar we're not used to having them so don't label them tough just talk
• 1:02:48
  So we're going to get you out of here with a couple of quick questions because I just love you. I can talk to you for hours. We're already over an hour. So let's ask you a couple of personal questions. What's the most impactful book you've read recently and why?
• 1:03:02
  I'm going to stick with the theme of what you mentioned, and that's a book called The Surrender Experiment. And so I highly recommend if you haven't read it, read the book Surrender Experiment. I read the book and I realized that I could surrender in areas of my life, knowing that there is a power, a force, or a divinity that is bigger than me, that knows more than me. And I started saying yes to opportunity that was coming to me and my life completely transformed. Highly recommend it. Michael Singer's book, Surrender Experiment.
• 1:03:31
  Yeah, I read it. It's good. What's one daily habit that you can't live without?
• 1:03:35
  Oh man, meditation. I think meditation is by far the single most important thing you can do. It is more important than food. It is more important than water. It is more important than sleep. If you are not sitting with yourself, you don't know who you are. And if you don't know who you are, you can't go out and be the best version of you. So meditation is not sitting in solitude on top of a mountain. Meditation is paying attention to the thoughts that are happening inside of your mind. The act of observing your mind is the act of meditation.
• 1:04:02
  And when you become privy to the information that is in your mind that is playing on repeat over and over and over, that's when you get to clear the clutter and the brilliance of who you are gets to come out of you. So I would never go a day without meditation. How long do you meditate per day?
• 1:04:17
  Depends on what's happening in my life. On average, 20 minutes, but I can meditate for an hour, sometimes two hours in a day. The longest I've ever meditated was five straight hours or 40 plus hours in a week. But it really depends on what's happening in my life. But I would recommend everybody meditate at least 15 to 20 minutes a day. How do you unwind after a long day of coaching, leading, and basically just walking on water?
• 1:04:40
  You know, you're the funniest man. I love to connect with my family. And so, you know, you asked in the very beginning of the episode, what's really important to me? And that is having a robust life. I wake up every single day with the sole intent to impact as many people's lives as I can.
• 1:04:56
  every single minute of every single day, I want to impact people's lives. And I happen to be able to do that beautifully inside of organizations and inside of leaders of companies' lives. And they then go and impact their people. But at the end of the day, I then want to turn around and impact the lives of my family. And sometimes that's kicking a soccer ball with my son
• 1:05:15
  that's spending two hours with my wife, that's getting into a hot tub with the whole family, that's going for a walk on the beach, or it's being able to see the love being mirrored back to me through the eyes of my children or my wife. What's it mean to be harder than life? I love the question. I think that harder than life is...
• 1:05:38
  is knowing that there's going to be things that are going to come to you and you might not be expecting them and you're equipped to be able to deal with them and that you're bigger than what you believe that life is. And, you know, we have a very limited vantage point. We can all agree that we can only see, feel, or know what's currently present in front of us and that we don't have the vantage point of what's about to come. And that vantage point is so much bigger and so much greater.
• 1:06:04
  Harder Than Life is about knowing that there is something so divine about who you are and the path that's coming that even if something were to be hard or difficult or challenging, that it's actually beautifully, perfectly, divinely placed there because it's preparing you, qualifying you.
• 1:06:21
  for the brilliance of what it is that you want. We've spoken a lot today about surrender. We've spoken a lot today about alignment and that everything in the universe is about aligning you with what you're ready to receive next. When you're ready for the next lesson, the next opportunity shows, when you're ready to hit the next layer, the next thing's going to come that's going to prepare you and support you.
• 1:06:38
  far too many people look at struggles and say, oh no, this thing is so hard. This is difficult. I have to overcome this thing. But that thing is not something to overcome. That thing is an actual answer to what you were vibrationally drawing to you. And it's the solution to what's going to get you to the thing that you want next. And so every opportunity is always just a thank you. I'm so grateful for what this is and I'm ready to move to the next layer or to the next stage or to the next evolution of who I get to become.
• 1:07:06
  I think the next book is going to be called easier than life because once I fully surrender and allow in a line, things are going to things are real good right now, but they're going to be we're going to be able to make a bigger impact for everybody. So what's one last question promise? What's one specific piece of advice you want to leave the listeners with?
• 1:07:23
  That you get to live your life purposefully, carefully, calculatedly. And then if you're walking into a room and you don't know who you want to be, how you want to feel, how you want to show up, what is the impact you want to leave in that room, then you're going to walk in and react by default. You're going to pull the program of who you were as a child. You're going to walk in and just have a default reaction. Say what you've always said, thought what you've always thought and done what you've always done. And you're going to get the results you've always gotten.
• 1:07:47
  But if you want to have me do or achieve something that is different than what you've ever done, you've got to walk into the room very intentionally about who you want to be. And if you want something different, you've got to do something that you've never done to drive the result to get you something you've never gotten. So be very intentional about how you want to think, how you want to feel, how you want to show up, and then ask for a lot of feedback.
• 1:08:07
  When you meet somebody that has value and you trust them implicitly, ask them, how can I be better? What do you see? How am I showing up? And take that feedback from those people that you trust because you're going to get some incredible nuggets that's going to move you forward in life. So I'm just going to end it with what your son said, that happiness is a choice. So thank you for coming on. I love you. Tell the family I said hi. Thanks for coming on the podcast, my friend. Love you. Appreciate you, brother.
• 1:08:38
  Please rate and share this podcast. I'm active on all social platforms and love to hear from my Segal supporters. Each and every episode is sponsored by my company, National Technology Management, the easiest and best IT company to do business with, delivering peace of mind with technology every day, even simplifying cybersecurity. Visit TrustNTM.com for more info. Until next week, be harder than life.