Latest / Quarterback DadCast | Intentional Fatherhood & Leadership at Home / Chad Wittman - A Dad’s Awakening

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Chad Wittman - A Dad’s Awakening · Quarterback DadCast | Intentional Fatherhood & Leadership at Home

• 0:03
  SPEAKER_02: Hi, I'm Riley and I'm Ryder.
• 0:05
  SPEAKER_02: And this is my dad's job.
• 0:13
  SPEAKER_02: Hey everybody, it's Casey J Cox with the Quarterback Dadcast.
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_02: Welcome to season six, and I cannot be more excited to have you join me for another year of fantastic episodes of Conversations with unscripted and raw and authentic conversations with dads.
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_02: If you're new to this podcast, really it's simple.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_02: It's a podcast where we interview dads, we learn about how they were raised, we learn about the life lessons that were important to them, we learn about the values that are important to them, and really we learn about how we can work hard to become a better quarterback or leader of our home.
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_02: So let's sit back, relax, and listen to today's episode of Quarterback Deckcast.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_02: Everybody, it's Casey Jacobs with the Quarterback Deckcast.
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_02: We are in season six getting towards the tail end.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_02: And this next gentleman, it's taken a while.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_02: I think just uh the multiple agents, the secret service, the uh the bodyguards to go through, but but luckily everybody can't see.
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_02: But I have really a truly fantastic ammo or mustache that that not Whitman, but Vietmann, the age of silent.
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_02: I learned that the hard way.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_02: Um he he's gonna join us today, everybody.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_02: And the only reason he's here is because of the talented and nice Trace Baker, who I met last year's American Stafford Association staffing board.
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_02: She said, I have a fantastic dad of person for you to connect with.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_02: And we connected a year ago-ish.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_02: Um, but sometimes timing's not always right, but it's right now, and we're excited to learn about Chad the Dad, who was a former Reebok and Adidas executive with stories of travel and ups and downs.
• 1:39
  SPEAKER_02: Um, but now he's the founder of Activate, which is providing just some really, really amazing coaching services.
• 1:45
  SPEAKER_02: Um, but with all that said, that's not what we're gonna have Chad on today.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_02: We're gonna have Chad on today to talk about Chad the Dad and how he's working hard to become that ultimate quarterback or leader of his household.
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_02: So without further ado, Mr.
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_02: Beatman, welcome to the quarterback dad cast.
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_02: And thank you, Casey.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_02: Pleasure to be here.
• 2:01
  SPEAKER_02: And that handlebar is amazing.
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_02: Well, thank you.
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_02: And uh everybody at home, I apologize that we're not in video anymore, at least for now.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_02: Never say never.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_02: But um, if you truly do want a picture of this stash, send me an email or find me on LinkedIn and I will take a picture and send it to you.
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_02: Proof handlebar does exist.
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_02: Um all right.
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_02: Well, we always start out each episode with gratitude.
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_02: So tell me, what are you most grateful for as a dad today?
• 2:27
  SPEAKER_04: Oh, easy.
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_04: I know my kids, and my kids know me.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_04: And that was not always the case.
• 2:33
  SPEAKER_04: So I'm so grateful to to know them and for them to know me.
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_02: So my curiosity is already gone without because I gotta go into my gratitude, but tell me what that means.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_04: Well, I found that um many of us, certainly I I mean, I have five kids, and I was so disconnected from who they really were at the core that I did I thought I knew them, but it took a you know a pretty intense circumstance for me to uncover the fact that I did not.
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_04: In fact, I didn't know myself, and so I realized I didn't know myself, and then I really realized I did not know my children at the core of who they really are.
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_04: And I got the chance to know them.
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_04: I got the chance to be thrust in as a full-time dad and learn about who they really are at the core, who they are from their heart, how they were really designed, what they're really thinking, what they really want to do with their lives.
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_04: And um, I call this the ability to see somebody, which I didn't have for the majority of my life because I closed my heart off unknowingly.
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_04: And I think many men especially do this.
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_04: And what we do with that is we actually don't realize we blind ourselves.
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_04: And when I say blind, I'm not sure how many people can resonate with this, but there is a seeing that can come with an unveiling of your heart that all of a sudden you can actually see the other person inside, not what you see on the outside, not the words, not the actions, but you can see what they're really feeling, what they're really saying.
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_04: And I got a chance to see my kids, and uh I still get to.
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_04: And that changed me forever.
• 4:25
  SPEAKER_04: It was the first time I actually ever saw any human being ever, was when I saw my children for the first time.
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_04: And it brought me to my it brought me to my knees in tears as I saw what they really desired from me.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_04: And I saw the pain I was causing them from my heart being closed.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_02: Wow, man, we are we are off to start the podcast.
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_02: I love this.
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_02: Well, I'm gonna, we're gonna, we're gonna dive into that.
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_02: And um, I love I love what you've shared so far, Chad.
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_02: Um, I'd say what I'm most grateful for today is is something uh so small, but so um so much joy brings me each and every day.
• 5:06
  SPEAKER_02: And so my son left for college.
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_02: Uh he was home, he's he's been gone for a month, came home for a couple days.
• 5:12
  SPEAKER_02: I've been lucky to see him.
• 5:13
  SPEAKER_02: He plays golf in college, so I've been like making it a priority to go to every event I can.
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_02: I'm not gonna miss that because I know I won't regret it in 10 years.
• 5:20
  SPEAKER_02: And he was home, he flew back yesterday.
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_02: It's a short hour flight.
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_02: I'm gonna fly down Sunday and then go watch him play Monday, Tuesday next week.
• 5:27
  SPEAKER_02: But uh I always told him that when when his sister Riley, we call, they call, I call them both our dog, they call me C Dog.
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_02: I have no idea why we're not in a gang, we just do it.
• 5:36
  SPEAKER_02: And uh and so our dog Harley, who's a golden tree or Irish setter, I said, Hey, Harley, let's go say goodbye to our dog.
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_02: And so she loves it's like Riley will back out of the car, and so Ryder actually got to see this tip before he went to college because he's heard me talk about it.
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_02: He's like, What in the hell?
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_02: He's recording, and um so I sit down on the steps in the garage as the car's backing out of the garage, and Harley sprints over, and she literally almost sits on top me, and she's snugging up to me, and then she just she puts her paw up and allows me to grab her like bottom by her elbow and kind of like wave like this.
• 6:08
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah.
• 6:08
  SPEAKER_02: And it's the cutest freaking thing, and she like it's her habit now.
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_02: She she knows that when I say it's good back, she sprints to the door and just can't wait to go.
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, that's amazing.
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_02: It's yeah, so it's like I mean, I get my heart gets I get goosebumps telling the story.
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_02: It's like I'll I'll remember that stuff for the rest of my life, you know, and as silly as it is, whatever, but it like but it brings a smile on her face, and you know, hearing seeing Ryder, my son videotape it on Snapchat and send to his girlfriend and like oh my god, look at our dog.
• 6:36
  SPEAKER_02: And so I don't know.
• 6:37
  SPEAKER_02: I'm just grateful for that, like being that beautiful present and grounded in where I am at the ripe old age of almost 50.
• 6:43
  SPEAKER_04: But um, thank you by the way.
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_04: I I call my brother B Dog and he calls me C Dog.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_04: Hey, we got two C Dogs on the podcast.
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_04: Let's go.
• 6:53
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, sweet.
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_02: Tracy, what you're doing?
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_02: You're hooking up sea dogs together.
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_02: Let's go.
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_02: Crazy.
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_02: Crazy.
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, we got so we got five five kids on the squad.
• 7:01
  SPEAKER_02: This is where I like to go inside the huddle.
• 7:03
  SPEAKER_02: You're you're now playing quarterback.
• 7:05
  SPEAKER_02: Um uh so bring me inside the huddle.
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_02: What does it what does it look like in terms of like a day in the life?
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and maybe what what each member of the team's up to right now?
• 7:17
  SPEAKER_04: Sure, sure.
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_04: Uh well, they're active, so each day is is full of activity.
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_04: But um I've got a 15-year-old, a 14-year-old, 12-year-old, 10-year-old, and a nine-year-old.
• 7:31
  SPEAKER_04: So we did a lot of kids pretty fast and in three countries.
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_04: Um, and now obviously we're all in the states.
• 7:39
  SPEAKER_04: But um a day in the life looks like, first of all, um an important note is um I'm going through a divorce, and so we are rotating.
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_04: So a day in the life right now looks like we we decided to have a nesting house for the kids.
• 7:55
  SPEAKER_04: So the kids have stability.
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_04: They are they're always in the same house, and we rotate in and out every other week.
• 8:03
  SPEAKER_04: Um, and I grew up uh with divorced parents in two separate homes, and we were the ones going back and forth.
• 8:10
  SPEAKER_04: So this was a big learning for me when I found myself in this situation.
• 8:14
  SPEAKER_04: We were able to align, like, let's keep stability for the kids, which means it's only one of us at a time, which makes it a lot more interesting with five children.
• 8:24
  SPEAKER_04: But I had the I had the benefit of having a lot of years uh in where unfortunately my wife was ill, but it forced me to do a lot of single parenting during that time as she was ill.
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_04: Uh and so I know it, I know what I'm doing now.
• 8:39
  SPEAKER_04: Had I not had that training and been in this situation, I think I'd be in big trouble.
• 8:44
  SPEAKER_04: So the uh the wake-up routine is typically around 6:30, and we all they all five go to a Montessori school, so it goes all the way through high school.
• 8:54
  SPEAKER_04: So the cool thing is we get to all go to one place, which is rare these days, especially with five kids.
• 9:01
  SPEAKER_04: And um kids pack their own lunches.
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_04: Something I learned.
• 9:05
  SPEAKER_04: Montessori, Montessori methodology teaches you a lot about parenting.
• 9:11
  SPEAKER_04: And one of the things I learned early on was how to coach and guide my children into learning how to do the things that they needed to do.
• 9:24
  SPEAKER_04: And actually, one of the greatest lessons I had was how much more capable our kids are than we think they are, and at young ages.
• 9:33
  SPEAKER_04: Montessori has this chart that they share with you about each age and what the kids should be able to do.
• 9:39
  SPEAKER_04: And I'll never forget when we first got it, because literally there was like almost nothing on there that our kids could do.
• 9:45
  SPEAKER_04: Um I was I was horrified.
• 9:48
  SPEAKER_04: What of what am I doing here?
• 9:50
  SPEAKER_04: Um, and I slowly went to work, and and a lot of it when you're younger, you use charts.
• 9:55
  SPEAKER_04: So I made visual charts to help them guide them through their morning routine so they can go so they don't keep coming.
• 10:01
  SPEAKER_04: Dad, dad, dad, right?
• 10:03
  SPEAKER_04: So you have a chart, you point to the chart, check the chart, what haven't you done on the chart?
• 10:07
  SPEAKER_04: And they follow their routine through the chart.
• 10:09
  SPEAKER_04: So the point is the kids are pretty self-sufficient, which is awesome.
• 10:14
  SPEAKER_04: Um, and so we go about our morning routine, and I normally will make a sandwich or something like that.
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_04: And now we have a daughter who's driving us to school, who's 15, she's got her permit.
• 10:25
  SPEAKER_04: So we roll up in a 15-passenger bus, and uh she's in the driver's seat now, which is like the coolest thing ever.
• 10:32
  SPEAKER_04: And by May, I've told her because she'll have her license by then.
• 10:36
  SPEAKER_04: I said, You got the morning routine.
• 10:38
  SPEAKER_04: The kids all know what they need to do.
• 10:41
  SPEAKER_04: So it's not that I won't wake up, but I'm at that point now where it is very plausible that I can have our oldest child drive all four kids to school and back, which is crazy cool.
• 10:53
  SPEAKER_04: Um, and it's just cool because it's not that you don't want to be involved, but when you see your kid do something that they couldn't do before that is self-sufficient, like this, to be able to sit back, which I do from time to time, I'll just sit down and I'll watch them go through their morning routine in absolute awe, realizing there was a time where I was running around like a chicken with my head cut off.
• 11:21
  SPEAKER_04: It was not long ago.
• 11:23
  SPEAKER_04: Literally, did you do this?
• 11:25
  SPEAKER_04: Noah, Judah, Micah, May, Audrey, and I'm directing, I'm the I'm the general, I'm the quarterback with a total no game plan, nobody knows their positions, nobody knows what routes to run, and I'm running it all.
• 11:39
  SPEAKER_04: And I'm losing my peace, I'm losing my joy.
• 11:42
  SPEAKER_04: You know, it's it's a mess.
• 11:43
  SPEAKER_04: And now I can literally sit down and I can just call out the time, and they are in motion and there's joy.
• 11:51
  SPEAKER_04: There's actually joy in the home.
• 11:52
  SPEAKER_04: There was so much stress before.
• 11:54
  SPEAKER_04: So I think you asked a day in the life of probably the greatest thing is that the morning routines went from my greatest hell.
• 12:02
  SPEAKER_04: I mean, I dreaded the morning routine because I was integrating into the home for the first time and I was not good at it.
• 12:08
  SPEAKER_04: To now I have, I mean, I have total peace and joy about a morning.
• 12:12
  SPEAKER_04: It's really not, there's no nothing really challenging about it.
• 12:16
  SPEAKER_04: Every once in a while, there's a kid who, you know, has a difficulty, but you can deal with it because the other kids know what they're doing.
• 12:21
  SPEAKER_04: So that's really great.
• 12:22
  SPEAKER_04: And then they play sports.
• 12:23
  SPEAKER_04: So my my 15-year-old daughter is a great lacrosse player.
• 12:28
  SPEAKER_04: She plays club club ball with uh club club lacrosse with um 3D lacrosse.
• 12:35
  SPEAKER_04: And uh my son, who's 14, also plays club lacrosse, and I coach him because I played pro lacrosse.
• 12:43
  SPEAKER_04: Um, and uh and their mom also played top-level lacrosse.
• 12:47
  SPEAKER_04: And so I've coached my 14-year-old on a club team.
• 12:51
  SPEAKER_04: Then my 12-year-old is a pretty darn good soccer player.
• 12:54
  SPEAKER_04: He's in travel soccer.
• 12:57
  SPEAKER_04: My 10-year-old's also a soccer player, has been picking up really fast, and my nine-year-old is a soccer player herself.
• 13:05
  SPEAKER_04: We got one guitar player in there as well, Micah.
• 13:07
  SPEAKER_04: The the fourth is a guitar player.
• 13:09
  SPEAKER_04: Nice.
• 13:10
  SPEAKER_04: Um, and we've got some artists.
• 13:13
  SPEAKER_04: In fact, my daughter, my 15-year-old, just opened her Etsy store yesterday, and she makes handmade stuff and she paints, and so yeah, it's uh that's pretty cool.
• 13:23
  SPEAKER_02: It's pretty vibrant.
• 13:25
  SPEAKER_02: Um, where do I start, man?
• 13:27
  SPEAKER_02: There's so much there.
• 13:28
  SPEAKER_02: I um well, first I want to say there's uh the the journey that you went through with like that feeling of like, oh my god, I'm I'm doing nothing for my kids.
• 13:36
  SPEAKER_02: What have I done?
• 13:37
  SPEAKER_02: Guilty.
• 13:38
  SPEAKER_02: I went through that in COVID 2020 when I realized uh actually I interviewed a guy named Swen Nader.
• 13:44
  SPEAKER_02: For those that have heard this prize story, you've heard it before.
• 13:46
  SPEAKER_02: Sorry, I'm gonna give Swen Nader some love.
• 13:48
  SPEAKER_02: Uh Swen Nader, former amazing college basketball story, Costco.
• 13:52
  SPEAKER_02: He worked at Costco for years.
• 13:53
  SPEAKER_02: He might still work there.
• 13:55
  SPEAKER_02: Uh Swen played for uh a guy that some people have heard of, a guy named uh John Wooden.
• 14:01
  SPEAKER_02: And yeah, yeah, yeah, decent basketball career, only eight consecutive NCAA championships, no biggie, you know.
• 14:07
  SPEAKER_02: But Swen wrote a book uh called You You Have Not Taught Until They Have Learned.
• 14:13
  SPEAKER_02: And it really hit me right in the you know what?
• 14:17
  SPEAKER_02: I was like, wow, like so we were doing too much, same thing.
• 14:20
  SPEAKER_02: I was and then we said, Hey, what's for lunch?
• 14:24
  SPEAKER_02: Figured out it's almost like cold turkey the other way, you know.
• 14:27
  SPEAKER_02: Now, and we weren't that cold about it, but we just said, Hey, mom and dad, we're doing too much.
• 14:31
  SPEAKER_02: And yeah, I know that you love this country club lifestyle where just every you're getting served at you know vacation.
• 14:37
  SPEAKER_02: That's not reality, brothers and sisters.
• 14:39
  SPEAKER_02: So we're gonna we're gonna change that.
• 14:40
  SPEAKER_02: And so now I don't pack, I can't tell you last time I packed lunch with my daughter, she's still in a senior in high school.
• 14:46
  SPEAKER_02: Um, even like watching my son travel like and manage the airport journey by himself.
• 14:51
  SPEAKER_04: It's so powerful, right?
• 14:52
  SPEAKER_02: You know, it's from as simple as like getting a boarding pass on your phone to going through TSA to hey, where's my gate?
• 14:58
  SPEAKER_02: You know, going solo, and like that's just so like rewarding to see him to do that, you know.
• 15:04
  SPEAKER_02: Um, so that when you told that story, it definitely spoke to me.
• 15:07
  SPEAKER_02: Um well, before we dive into some of your journey, man, I always like to learn kind of what shaped people.
• 15:14
  SPEAKER_02: So bring me back to what was like for Chad growing up.
• 15:16
  SPEAKER_02: Talk about the impact that mom and dad had mom and dad had on you from a values perspective that now that you use as a father.
• 15:23
  SPEAKER_04: Hmm.
• 15:25
  SPEAKER_04: Great question.
• 15:26
  SPEAKER_04: There's some there's some nuances here.
• 15:28
  SPEAKER_04: Um, so I was born in California, but grew up in Colorado Springs.
• 15:33
  SPEAKER_04: And uh my parents were divorced when I was about four, which was a blow took it was a big blow to me.
• 15:40
  SPEAKER_04: And I didn't know it at the time, but I closed my heart off during that time.
• 15:44
  SPEAKER_04: This is what I uncovered later.
• 15:46
  SPEAKER_04: Very sensitive kid, um, a very sensitive adult, which is a gift, by the way.
• 15:51
  SPEAKER_04: Didn't know that until I uncovered it.
• 15:54
  SPEAKER_04: And uh I started getting a lot in trouble.
• 15:57
  SPEAKER_04: So I was a troubled child up until the age of man, 11, 12, and probably thereafter a bit, but I started to uh rein it in because uh sports essentially saved my life.
• 16:09
  SPEAKER_04: I was a great lacrosse and ice hockey player.
• 16:13
  SPEAKER_04: And I had an opportunity to go get out of trouble because I was getting in a lot of it, and go away when I was 11, about to turn 12, to Maine and live with another family.
• 16:25
  SPEAKER_04: Actually, quite uh famous guy, Travis Roy, who broke his neck six seconds into, or sorry, eleven seconds into his first game at Boston University, Terriers.
• 16:37
  SPEAKER_04: He was a the number one recruit in the country.
• 16:39
  SPEAKER_04: Remember this, drafted by the Red Wings.
• 16:41
  SPEAKER_04: I live with that family.
• 16:42
  SPEAKER_04: I live I lived in his bedroom while he was at Tabor Academy, I was at North Yarmouth Academy, living with his parents, helping to basically fund um him him in school.
• 16:51
  SPEAKER_04: They boarded two kids at a time.
• 16:53
  SPEAKER_04: And so I boarded there.
• 16:55
  SPEAKER_04: I was so homesick.
• 16:57
  SPEAKER_04: My first three months, I literally cried every night and called home.
• 17:02
  SPEAKER_04: And my dad just said, make it to hockey season.
• 17:06
  SPEAKER_04: If you still want to come home in hockey season, you can come home.
• 17:09
  SPEAKER_04: And uh my mom was like, Come home, come home anytime you want.
• 17:12
  SPEAKER_04: But uh they were divorced.
• 17:14
  SPEAKER_04: So in that case, I I stayed.
• 17:16
  SPEAKER_04: And when hockey started, I never looked back.
• 17:19
  SPEAKER_04: Uh everything changed.
• 17:20
  SPEAKER_04: So I stayed there.
• 17:21
  SPEAKER_04: I played ice hockey there for two years, and then I went to Vermont Academy, which was a boarding school, because I was the only kid from out of state.
• 17:28
  SPEAKER_04: I was a cowboy.
• 17:29
  SPEAKER_04: I was I showed up wearing a cowboy hat and cowboy boots in Maine.
• 17:34
  SPEAKER_04: I mean, I'll never forget walking down the gymnasium floor to the first school meeting, and it silenced the entire gymnasium when they saw me.
• 17:47
  SPEAKER_04: And all you could hear was the knocking of my boots on the floor.
• 17:50
  SPEAKER_04: And I was stunned.
• 17:52
  SPEAKER_04: I was like, oh my, and I, of course, the next day I went and got new clothes.
• 17:56
  SPEAKER_04: My parents were still with me.
• 17:57
  SPEAKER_04: But um, that was that was a pretty jolting experience.
• 18:00
  SPEAKER_04: And I went to boarding school and graduated Vermont Academy and ended up um becoming an all-American lacrosse player there.
• 18:08
  SPEAKER_04: And hockey kind of hockey was good, but I couldn't find a D1 school where I could play both at a high level, which I wanted to.
• 18:15
  SPEAKER_04: Uh, my lacrosse had become my dominant sport.
• 18:17
  SPEAKER_04: So I went to the University of Denver, which has a great program, um, and played D1 lacrosse there for four years, had a great experience.
• 18:26
  SPEAKER_04: Again, that saved me having that discipline.
• 18:28
  SPEAKER_04: So I started learning early on, and my dad was always driving this in.
• 18:32
  SPEAKER_04: My dad was like man's man, discipline and hard work, discipline and hard work.
• 18:37
  SPEAKER_04: Mean what you say, say what you mean.
• 18:39
  SPEAKER_04: All these kind of like he was a lawyer and but a man's man lawyer.
• 18:44
  SPEAKER_04: Um, and so I graduated University of Denver and got drafted into the uh pro-lacrosse league.
• 18:51
  SPEAKER_04: But before that, I had no idea what I wanted to do.
• 18:55
  SPEAKER_04: So I went to Europe for like two months and just traveled.
• 19:02
  SPEAKER_04: And I highly recommend this if it's possible for anybody.
• 19:05
  SPEAKER_04: I mean, back then it was you barely had a cell phone that would be working.
• 19:09
  SPEAKER_04: So you just had to find your way around Europe, which was a huge experience for me to just learn endlessly.
• 19:16
  SPEAKER_04: So I went all over all through um Eastern and Western Europe.
• 19:20
  SPEAKER_04: During that time, I got a note to be drafted, and I got drafted uh first round actually, which surprised me to the Vancouver Ravens, and I got to go live in this is Indo-Lacrosse, I got to go live in Vancouver for a year, and then that team got sold to Anaheim, and we played where the Mighty Ducks play, and I moved back to Colorado, my home state, and I flew back and forth on the weekends to play lacrosse because it wasn't, they don't pay you enough to do it full time.
• 19:46
  SPEAKER_04: And that's basically where I started my work career up until that point.
• 19:50
  SPEAKER_04: I think there's a key mess, key note.
• 19:52
  SPEAKER_04: I considered myself basically worthless.
• 19:56
  SPEAKER_04: Like I thought I would amount to nothing at that time.
• 20:00
  SPEAKER_04: I was a good pro athlete, but I could not find passion and hold a job to save my life.
• 20:07
  SPEAKER_04: Just nothing would interest me, and I would end up fizzling out of everything.
• 20:11
  SPEAKER_04: I don't even know how I barely made it through school.
• 20:13
  SPEAKER_04: I mean, school was so hard for me.
• 20:16
  SPEAKER_04: And then I was selling telecom door to door, I was playing pro la cross, and I got rookie of the month in in telecom sales.
• 20:24
  SPEAKER_04: And before I knew it, I would be parking my car in these like business lots because you'd have to go into the buildings and knock on all the doors.
• 20:30
  SPEAKER_04: They'd chase you out of the building for no soliciting, no soliciting buildings.
• 20:34
  SPEAKER_04: Um, I'd be sleeping in my car under a tree.
• 20:38
  SPEAKER_04: And I remember just thinking, like, I'm screwed.
• 20:41
  SPEAKER_04: I don't know what I'm gonna do with my life.
• 20:43
  SPEAKER_04: Like, I can't do anything.
• 20:44
  SPEAKER_04: And then I was coaching lacrosse, and a very well-known entrepreneur had started a lacrosse company called Harrow Sports out of Denver.
• 20:55
  SPEAKER_04: He was one of the founders of Blockbuster.
• 20:57
  SPEAKER_04: He bought it from Wayne Heisinger.
• 20:58
  SPEAKER_04: You remember Big Blockbuster?
• 21:00
  SPEAKER_04: Oh, yeah.
• 21:00
  SPEAKER_04: He was the founder of Asia Bowl and Boston Market, these food chains.
• 21:04
  SPEAKER_04: And then he got into lacrosse, and I was coaching his kid.
• 21:08
  SPEAKER_04: And he said, Hey kid, why don't you come over and join us?
• 21:13
  SPEAKER_04: And I want you to be a salesperson at the lacrosse company.
• 21:16
  SPEAKER_04: And I was like, Done.
• 21:18
  SPEAKER_04: That sounds interesting, instead of selling telecom, and this is where my world opened up.
• 21:23
  SPEAKER_04: All of the sudden I was selling calling lacrosse coaches who I knew that world, selling things that people wanted to buy, a product I believed in, and like everything opened up.
• 21:34
  SPEAKER_04: So before I knew it, I was designing products.
• 21:38
  SPEAKER_04: He was everything I would bring him for like, hey, they they're looking for lacrosse clubs, they're looking for shoulder pads, they're looking for he would just say, do it, do it, do it.
• 21:45
  SPEAKER_04: And then I would then I'd fly into China by myself and open up lacrosse factories.
• 21:51
  SPEAKER_04: And all of a sudden I was killing it because I found something that met me where I was at it.
• 21:57
  SPEAKER_04: Passion, interest, capabilities, all of the art stuff I was doing as a kid.
• 22:02
  SPEAKER_04: I was using it to draw new equipment, all this stuff.
• 22:07
  SPEAKER_04: Um, and in fact, where I met my wife, who I ended up having five children with, was in that world.
• 22:11
  SPEAKER_04: She was a lacrosse player herself.
• 22:14
  SPEAKER_04: And then eventually um we got to a place where we just weren't investing in product development anymore.
• 22:20
  SPEAKER_04: And I wasn't sure about the future of it.
• 22:22
  SPEAKER_04: And Reebok was showing interest, the very first big company that would ever get into the space.
• 22:28
  SPEAKER_04: Um, they were showing interest in lacrosse.
• 22:31
  SPEAKER_04: And I had just helped start this lacrosse company with this guy because he hired me early.
• 22:35
  SPEAKER_04: So I ended up going to Reebok and starting Reebok Lacrosse, which is so cool because it was the first big brand in the sport that I loved and grew up playing.
• 22:44
  SPEAKER_04: And I got to start it at the first big brand.
• 22:47
  SPEAKER_04: So the industry was totally shaken by it.
• 22:49
  SPEAKER_04: I learned so much and launched lacrosse for Reebok, and then and then my whole Reebok story started.
• 22:55
  SPEAKER_04: So I think it was a pretty good place to stop.
• 22:58
  SPEAKER_04: Okay.
• 22:59
  SPEAKER_02: Well, uh, I mean, this is I wish I could, I wish I had a four-hour episode because there's so much I would love to dive in there for.
• 23:06
  SPEAKER_02: But I want to rewind tapes.
• 23:08
  SPEAKER_02: What's what's ironically, or maybe serendipster, I'm not sure what the word I'm looking for, but my son's best friend did the hockey billet.
• 23:15
  SPEAKER_02: He left his junior sophomore high school, no junior high school.
• 23:19
  SPEAKER_02: He was in Idaho and then New Hampshire, and now he's in Wyoming.
• 23:23
  SPEAKER_02: And it was funny, like he almost had his first hockey fight ever on the ice, and he was like, he drops the gloves, they break it up, and he the first person he thought of was, I can't wait to send this to Ryder, unless he was my son.
• 23:34
  SPEAKER_02: But he's like, Oh, it almost happened, it almost happened.
• 23:36
  SPEAKER_02: He was like, That was the and so shout out to Ride Ride Dog if you're listening, buddy.
• 23:42
  SPEAKER_02: But um, yeah, just a cool, cool story.
• 23:44
  SPEAKER_02: But like, so I when you were saying that, it made me go back to what my my one of my good friends there they've gone through, letting seen a child go, but he's super mature and grown through that experience.
• 23:54
  SPEAKER_02: Um, so I'll you you I'll go back to your your family real quick.
• 23:58
  SPEAKER_02: So parents got divorced, dad's you know, man's man, lawyer, probably some intensity, I would think, with that.
• 24:05
  SPEAKER_02: Yep, you know.
• 24:07
  SPEAKER_02: Um, what so dad was did mom work too, or did she stay at home?
• 24:11
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, mom was mom's a doctor.
• 24:13
  SPEAKER_04: Mom's a and then had her own nurse practitioner office and uh at the time was an emergency nurse.
• 24:20
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 24:21
  SPEAKER_04: Are mom and dad still with us?
• 24:23
  SPEAKER_04: Yep.
• 24:23
  SPEAKER_04: Uh sorry.
• 24:24
  SPEAKER_04: Mom with us.
• 24:25
  SPEAKER_04: Dad passed away uh when I was 24.
• 24:29
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 24:30
  SPEAKER_02: I know what that's like.
• 24:31
  SPEAKER_02: My dad passed away December 29th, 2021.
• 24:33
  SPEAKER_02: So we we have that in common too.
• 24:35
  SPEAKER_04: Um great experience.
• 24:37
  SPEAKER_04: It's the hardest, one of the hardest things I've ever done.
• 24:40
  SPEAKER_04: Best thing that ever happened to me.
• 24:42
  SPEAKER_04: One of the best things that ever happened to me because I had to grow.
• 24:45
  SPEAKER_04: I grew so much because he was my safety net.
• 24:47
  SPEAKER_04: When your dad passed.
• 24:49
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, it was so hard.
• 24:50
  SPEAKER_04: But um, as I learned quickly, hard does not mean bad.
• 24:53
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, if you have yeah, it's exactly that.
• 24:55
  SPEAKER_02: If you have the right mindset, you and that's what that's why being curious is a superpower.
• 24:59
  SPEAKER_02: You're curious to see what's going on.
• 25:01
  SPEAKER_02: It doesn't happen to me, it happens for me.
• 25:03
  SPEAKER_02: It's a mindset shift.
• 25:04
  SPEAKER_02: There's a lot of lot of lot of growth and gift that can come from that if you really like slow down and um so what did what did mom teach you?
• 25:15
  SPEAKER_04: I mean, mom was amazing.
• 25:17
  SPEAKER_04: Mom was like, she's just fireball.
• 25:20
  SPEAKER_04: So she's still a fireball.
• 25:22
  SPEAKER_04: This woman's in her 70s, and you she's she's dancing, she's going to concerts.
• 25:27
  SPEAKER_04: So, I mean, she taught us a lot about freedom.
• 25:30
  SPEAKER_04: My mom was somebody who I could talk to about anything.
• 25:35
  SPEAKER_04: Dad was somebody who I was performing for and learning about hard work and discipline and love.
• 25:40
  SPEAKER_04: He loved me, loved us like both my brother and I talk about this all the time, and my our younger half-brother, that we were unconditionally loved by our dad, there was no question.
• 25:51
  SPEAKER_04: But he was hard.
• 25:52
  SPEAKER_04: And my mom was this just freedom place where you could talk to her about anything.
• 25:59
  SPEAKER_04: Sex, drugs, alcohol, all of it was was open, which is not always normal, right?
• 26:05
  SPEAKER_04: Right.
• 26:06
  SPEAKER_04: So it was beautiful that she was open for that.
• 26:10
  SPEAKER_04: And for me in particular, this was huge because I had I was tormented on the inside so much of my life.
• 26:16
  SPEAKER_04: I didn't know what to do with all of this.
• 26:17
  SPEAKER_04: And she was a big outlet for me to just process this and basically takes took the shame away from a lot of these experiences I was having as a kid that oftentimes kids are left with to deal with themselves because they don't have a place to take these things.
• 26:32
  SPEAKER_04: They're all everybody goes to their own version, right?
• 26:34
  SPEAKER_04: And my mom was that.
• 26:36
  SPEAKER_04: I mean, she she was just incredible um sounding board, essentially, and just would receive you where you were at with no judgment.
• 26:47
  SPEAKER_04: I don't think I ever got in trouble once sharing anything with her.
• 26:52
  SPEAKER_04: Wow.
• 26:53
  SPEAKER_04: Like, and I could trust which it means trust, right?
• 26:55
  SPEAKER_04: I could trust that I could share and she wasn't gonna intervene no matter just about how bad it was or what I was talking about.
• 27:02
  SPEAKER_04: She would just she would just be there.
• 27:05
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, that makes me uh makes me think, uh this is I can't believe I'm gonna share this, but it's kind of kind of funny, but it's but it's proves a point of like when you have that trust with a parent.
• 27:15
  SPEAKER_02: Um when I was like in you know you fifth grade, you go through the sex ed and you know typical immature boy, you're thinking of like, I'm gonna I'm gonna think of the most silliest question, so the teacher has to read it for everybody, we're all gonna laugh about it.
• 27:27
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, some of the things I'd ask were so stupid, Chad, like asinine, if I think back now, like borderline the Saturday Night Live couldn't think of is is immature and gross things I was thinking about, but I was like, I'm gonna do it.
• 27:38
  SPEAKER_02: And the teacher calls my mom and says, Hey, what's what's wrong with this guy?
• 27:44
  SPEAKER_02: Like, what the hell's wrong?
• 27:46
  SPEAKER_02: You know, essentially, and my mom said, Hey, if if you if you told the kids to ask anything, be ready to answer anything.
• 27:53
  SPEAKER_02: Don't don't blame the kid.
• 27:55
  SPEAKER_02: And she wasn't like defensive for me, but I was like, hey, she but she had my back.
• 28:00
  SPEAKER_02: Now behind the scenes, she said, Hey, did you really want to know that question?
• 28:04
  SPEAKER_02: Or were you just being an idiot?
• 28:05
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 28:07
  SPEAKER_02: And she didn't seem an idiot, but I was like, I was being stupid and immature like most boys are.
• 28:10
  SPEAKER_02: And but to the point of like, I think that's that's important when and I think one thing I'm already getting out of this episode, chat, is um you know, life gets, you know, the whole Ferris Bieler, life goes by fast if you don't stop and take a look around, like how often do we really slow down to like say, hey, how you doing, Riley, or how you doing, Travis, or how you doing, Rachel, or whatever your son or daughter's name is, and like mean it.
• 28:35
  SPEAKER_02: And like I I have great relationship with both my kids, but like you're you're making me think, like, man, maybe there's another level.
• 28:41
  SPEAKER_04: There is a hundred per there is a hundred percent.
• 28:43
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, there is, and and I have I've experienced it head on because I it's I don't know if it'll freak people out, but I've had some mystical experiences that um are basically like near-death experiences.
• 28:56
  SPEAKER_04: If you look if you look into near-death experiences, you'll see find similar things.
• 29:00
  SPEAKER_04: All these these happened to me just walking around the house, um, and they still will occur every once in a while.
• 29:06
  SPEAKER_04: But it's it's really important to talk about it because it's exactly what you said, and I think most most parents miss this, and I was missing it.
• 29:15
  SPEAKER_04: Um I was walking around my house, it's the first time it ever happened, and I was just walking down a hallway, and in front of me was my wife and daughter working on some homework in my office, and I was in the hallway, and all of a sudden, this basically warm sensation came over me from behind like back of my neck.
• 29:34
  SPEAKER_04: Best way I can describe it.
• 29:36
  SPEAKER_04: And it's like I was unveiled, and and all I could see was the depth and beauty and pain and everything of that moment.
• 29:48
  SPEAKER_04: And I just started crying.
• 29:49
  SPEAKER_04: I mean, it was I and I hadn't cried in like at that point, I was forty something.
• 29:54
  SPEAKER_04: I don't besides in a movie, I don't remember the last time I had cried and my dad passing.
• 30:00
  SPEAKER_04: At at the burial, I cried.
• 30:02
  SPEAKER_04: But very few times.
• 30:04
  SPEAKER_04: And here I am just observing a moment.
• 30:06
  SPEAKER_04: And it's it's all of a sudden I can see the full like 5D of that moment.
• 30:11
  SPEAKER_04: I can see the love between these two human beings.
• 30:14
  SPEAKER_04: I can see their inner pain.
• 30:17
  SPEAKER_04: And as this happened to me more and again more and more, and I couldn't control it, it would just come.
• 30:22
  SPEAKER_04: What I was shown was we don't really see each other.
• 30:28
  SPEAKER_04: So we don't slow down enough to really look and see what's happening inside the person.
• 30:34
  SPEAKER_04: If you are honest with yourself and you go inward and find out what's really going on in there, it will bring you to tears most of the time because there's a child inside of all of us who is scrapping, doing the best that they can all the time, either trying to please, trying to perform.
• 30:52
  SPEAKER_04: It's this, it's this innocent version of us that is in all of us.
• 30:57
  SPEAKER_04: And if you ever have a chance to see that in the other, it will forever change you on how you see that person.
• 31:04
  SPEAKER_04: And I got the chance to do have this happen to me multiple times.
• 31:07
  SPEAKER_04: And I got to see like my kids what they're really asking all the time, Dad, do you see me?
• 31:14
  SPEAKER_04: Do you see me over here?
• 31:15
  SPEAKER_04: I'm here.
• 31:16
  SPEAKER_04: Do you love me?
• 31:18
  SPEAKER_04: Do you accept me?
• 31:19
  SPEAKER_04: My son, still to this day, 14.
• 31:21
  SPEAKER_04: What he's really saying to me, Dad, am I strong?
• 31:24
  SPEAKER_04: Do you think I have what it takes?
• 31:27
  SPEAKER_04: Do you think I can make it?
• 31:28
  SPEAKER_04: Now he's saying a whole bunch of other words.
• 31:30
  SPEAKER_04: And he's doing a whole bunch of other things.
• 31:31
  SPEAKER_04: He's saying, look at me play this video game.
• 31:33
  SPEAKER_04: And every once in a while I like it to be unveiled.
• 31:36
  SPEAKER_04: And what and I'm there next to him, and I just start tearing up because what I really see him saying is, Dad, do you see me?
• 31:42
  SPEAKER_04: Do you think I'm great?
• 31:45
  SPEAKER_04: And one of these experiences, I was shown what happens when we pass.
• 31:50
  SPEAKER_04: And there's a lot of people who have near-death experiences talk about the life review.
• 31:54
  SPEAKER_04: And I got to see a life, I got to see a version of it.
• 31:58
  SPEAKER_04: And what I was shown was what Matt, what we will see, none of the big moments.
• 32:05
  SPEAKER_04: We won't see like when we made the game, you know, like when we, I don't know, uh, we made the birthday, and the birthday was amazing for the child.
• 32:15
  SPEAKER_04: And none of these.
• 32:16
  SPEAKER_04: These are these are not the things that are moving the needle.
• 32:20
  SPEAKER_04: It's everything in between.
• 32:22
  SPEAKER_04: It's literally the moment when you're rushing around to get something done, and your kid comes in to interrupt you, and you stop and you pay attention, and you think it was nothing.
• 32:36
  SPEAKER_04: Because I got to see those are the moments that you throw an arrow into the heart, or you give, or they feel loved.
• 32:42
  SPEAKER_04: And those, and when you when I got shown the pain I was causing them by missing these small moments, oh my goodness, was it painful?
• 32:52
  SPEAKER_04: And it it made me learn to slow down and look for the signs that I'm in one of those moments.
• 32:59
  SPEAKER_04: This is one of those moments, Chad.
• 33:01
  SPEAKER_04: Just slow down, even if I'm not unveiled, because I was all all after that I was always like, how do I stay in this state where I can really see everybody?
• 33:09
  SPEAKER_04: And the reason I can't is I would just cry all the time.
• 33:11
  SPEAKER_04: Honestly, I mean, when you see people for who they really are, everybody, well, you blow your mind.
• 33:17
  SPEAKER_04: There's so much pain, there's so much love, there's so much going on on inside of human beings that is not revealed on the outside that it's overwhelming.
• 33:26
  SPEAKER_04: But you, if you have these opportunities, you take it back with you.
• 33:29
  SPEAKER_04: So what do I do now?
• 33:30
  SPEAKER_04: I try to slow down and see that I remember it's the moments in between.
• 33:35
  SPEAKER_04: It's not the big things.
• 33:38
  SPEAKER_04: And and see them and be present to your point earlier.
• 33:43
  SPEAKER_04: Because it's yeah.
• 33:47
  SPEAKER_02: He's an executive.
• 33:48
  SPEAKER_02: Uh and he's like, I get what you guys are talking about, but I I can't, I can't do this because I mean that's you know, they're gonna that's the story they're gonna tell themselves, you know.
• 33:56
  SPEAKER_02: And I I what you've gone through, I didn't go through everything you went through, but part of what you've gone through, I I've I've that's you're speaking because I've I've experienced what you've experienced, not the mystical part, but like the point of like when you make that decision and the world doesn't fall apart, but you're there for your kid.
• 34:12
  SPEAKER_02: And it could be the smallest thing, but it's the biggest thing.
• 34:16
  SPEAKER_02: Um walk me because I what I'm curious about is is to like the shift from you when you like the your corporate journey started to shift, and then also you know, how did you get the trust back of your kids?
• 34:30
  SPEAKER_02: If that's that's the right way I'm asking.
• 34:32
  SPEAKER_02: I don't know if I that's the right way to ask it because I don't I don't mean they didn't trust you, but like the because sometimes when when relationships are very yes, no, close, you know, how's your dad good?
• 34:41
  SPEAKER_02: To getting them to open up, to find to getting those moments like so maybe like if you can't touch on touch on both, because I think that'll really speak to a dad listening right now.
• 34:48
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, I I was a big executive.
• 34:51
  SPEAKER_04: I was running all of Asia Pacific for Reebok, hundreds of millions of dollars, hundreds of people traveling all the time.
• 34:57
  SPEAKER_04: And at that point, I on paper looked great.
• 35:02
  SPEAKER_04: Five kids, and I was at a lot of stuff.
• 35:05
  SPEAKER_04: I was actually showing up to some stuff, but I was not present.
• 35:10
  SPEAKER_04: And the biggest change I would make if I could go back or when I coach people now, it is be present, be present wherever you are, whatever you're able to be at, at least be there because you will you will then bring the version of you that you need in that moment that they need.
• 35:29
  SPEAKER_04: And that's all you can control.
• 35:31
  SPEAKER_04: Um and it's within your control because it but it takes practice because you've got to let go of all the thoughts and all the angst and all the stress about what's happening at work or what you're gonna do.
• 35:42
  SPEAKER_04: And I did that unsuccessfully.
• 35:45
  SPEAKER_04: And that's why I'm here to help people, because now I I've watched so many people start to do it successfully.
• 35:52
  SPEAKER_04: The way I got what I would call respect and trust for my kids, because the biggest thing I noticed when I left the workplace in 2020, at the end of 2020, I left and I was gonna take a couple years off.
• 36:03
  SPEAKER_04: I had done well and it was COVID, and I was able to take some, I was gonna take two years off.
• 36:10
  SPEAKER_04: It ended up being very difficult because my identity at the time was tied up in things that could be stripped away.
• 36:19
  SPEAKER_04: So my identity was tied up in my work, in my title, in my income, in the in the idea that I had this amazing family and they all loved me and in my marriage, and all of it started crumbling.
• 36:32
  SPEAKER_04: Much of it was gone, and then and I had no idea who I was.
• 36:36
  SPEAKER_04: No idea who I was without all of these things.
• 36:40
  SPEAKER_04: My kids didn't respect me.
• 36:41
  SPEAKER_04: I was running big teams in Asia, opening hundreds of stores, throwing around millions of dollars, and everyone listened to me, literally, especially in Asian culture.
• 36:50
  SPEAKER_04: And now I'm in the house, like telling a kid to go to bed, and they're like, no.
• 36:54
  SPEAKER_04: And I'm I'm I'm at my wit's end.
• 36:56
  SPEAKER_04: I'm angry at the I'm angry.
• 36:59
  SPEAKER_04: And um, well, it was a really humbling experience.
• 37:03
  SPEAKER_04: I had to find out who I was.
• 37:04
  SPEAKER_04: So, how the best way to earn the trust and respect from your children is to first know who you are without all of those things, because they see you as who you really are.
• 37:16
  SPEAKER_04: And they saw me as who I really was.
• 37:19
  SPEAKER_04: That's why they didn't respect me, because I didn't know who I was.
• 37:23
  SPEAKER_04: I was all these things that didn't matter to them.
• 37:25
  SPEAKER_04: They don't care that I'm like the head of Reebok and they don't give a crap about that, right?
• 37:30
  SPEAKER_04: And so, in finding out who I was, which meant go inward, go inward and figure out who am I at the core.
• 37:37
  SPEAKER_04: Without all of this, my goal was no matter what anybody says to me, no matter what I have or what I'm doing, can I be fully fulfilled and unshakable?
• 37:47
  SPEAKER_04: That that was my goal.
• 37:49
  SPEAKER_04: I set out when I found out that I was in an identity crisis.
• 37:54
  SPEAKER_04: And I went through the work to become a man who didn't need things, didn't need to be doing things, didn't need jobs, and was still okay.
• 38:04
  SPEAKER_04: And that was a such a worthy journey.
• 38:07
  SPEAKER_04: It's a journey that I'm sorry to interrupt, child.
• 38:09
  SPEAKER_04: When you say work, you mean like going to therapy?
• 38:12
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, I mean, I had a mentor, I had a spiritual mentor at the time, and then I did a lot of inward work.
• 38:18
  SPEAKER_04: I I leaned into that time of my faith.
• 38:21
  SPEAKER_04: I was in prayer a lot, a lot of meditation, like meditative prayer, contemplative prayer, where I'm just starting to observe my thoughts, starting to observe my emotions, become the observer of myself and become aware of what's happening in me.
• 38:34
  SPEAKER_04: It blew my mind because I found all kinds of brokenness in there.
• 38:39
  SPEAKER_04: And in that, in doing that, I get to start rewiring myself, get to start thinking about things differently because I do get to control that.
• 38:47
  SPEAKER_04: I'm not responsible for my first thought, but I am responsible for what I do with it.
• 38:51
  SPEAKER_04: This is something I will tell the kids.
• 38:53
  SPEAKER_04: We all have crazy stuff that comes in our head, but the question is what do we choose to do with it?
• 38:57
  SPEAKER_04: Do we want to believe it with it, align with it, act on it, or dismiss it?
• 39:01
  SPEAKER_04: Right?
• 39:02
  SPEAKER_04: Um, and so I had to learn, I had to learn that.
• 39:05
  SPEAKER_04: And doing that is where my kids started to respect me because that changed my behavior.
• 39:11
  SPEAKER_04: I could I learned that I could do the same task, call it um washing the dishes or packing a kid's lunch, because back then I was still doing that.
• 39:22
  SPEAKER_04: Um I could do the same tasks, and when I'm doing that thing for myself out of an unknowing place, which most of us, I believe, are doing, it holds very little value or power.
• 39:38
  SPEAKER_04: But when I'm doing that place from a when I'm doing that from a place of true love for the benefit of another, which is love, and not needing any recognition, not needing anybody to see it, not anything, I begin, I transform that same action completely.
• 39:55
  SPEAKER_04: And what you don't realize is you start to transform your entire environment.
• 39:59
  SPEAKER_04: It's a law of the un, it's a law of the universe.
• 40:01
  SPEAKER_04: Like this, the now, the cool thing is in quantum physics, they're starting to be able to show all of these weird spiritual things we talk about.
• 40:09
  SPEAKER_04: They're all now being proven in quantum physics and how they affect other human beings.
• 40:14
  SPEAKER_04: And so my kids start seeing me differently because they're feeling a totally different frequency from me.
• 40:19
  SPEAKER_04: And this slowly builds trust.
• 40:21
  SPEAKER_04: So it's not like it wasn't like, oh, just go spend more time with them.
• 40:26
  SPEAKER_04: Just like get to their games more because that you can do that with a really low frequency where you're not really there for them.
• 40:32
  SPEAKER_04: You're actually just trying to get them to like you.
• 40:35
  SPEAKER_04: And it's better than not, but it is not the real work.
• 40:39
  SPEAKER_04: The real work's got to happen in you first.
• 40:42
  SPEAKER_04: That's what I that's what I learned.
• 40:44
  SPEAKER_00: Hello, everybody.
• 40:45
  SPEAKER_00: My name's Craig Coe, and I'm the senior vice president of relationship management for Beeline.
• 40:50
  SPEAKER_00: For more than 20 years, we've been helping Fortune 1000 companies drive a competitive advantage with their external workforce.
• 40:56
  SPEAKER_00: In fact, Beeline's history of first-to-market innovations has become today's industry standards.
• 41:03
  SPEAKER_00: I get asked all the time, what did Casey do for your organization?
• 41:07
  SPEAKER_00: And I say this: it's simple.
• 41:09
  SPEAKER_00: The guy Flat Out gets it, relationships matter.
• 41:12
  SPEAKER_00: His down-to-earth presentation, his real-world experience apply to every area of our business.
• 41:18
  SPEAKER_00: In fact, his book, Win the Relationship and Not the Deal, has become required reading for all new members of the Global Relationship Management Team.
• 41:27
  SPEAKER_00: If you'd like to know more about me or about Beeline, please reach out to me on LinkedIn.
• 41:32
  SPEAKER_00: And if you don't know Casey Jacks, go to caseyjcox.com and learn more about how he can help your organization.
• 41:40
  SPEAKER_00: Now, let's get back to today's episode.
• 41:44
  SPEAKER_02: Well, one thing you said was the reason I started this podcast, Chad.
• 41:51
  SPEAKER_02: And I don't, and I know you said it like not self-deprecating, but there's a lot of truth to what you said, and it's and I believe it's like so when I was an executive doing great things in corporate.
• 42:02
  SPEAKER_02: Uh I left, we have a lot in common, brother.
• 42:04
  SPEAKER_02: Like I left in 2020.
• 42:06
  SPEAKER_02: My identity was tied to, I was number one producer of the staffing company for 10 straight years, left as the most successful staffing guy in the history of the company.
• 42:12
  SPEAKER_02: And I was like, who cares?
• 42:14
  SPEAKER_02: Now I was always hum humble about it because I was, you know, being the quarterback, I mean I was like, get my lineman's name in the paper, thank my receivers, thank my defense, thank Bush teams, thank the coach.
• 42:23
  SPEAKER_02: Like, I was wired that way.
• 42:25
  SPEAKER_02: Same thing helped me incorporate, but when I left, and I was like, okay, what am I gonna do next?
• 42:29
  SPEAKER_02: Uh and I I wrote I wrote this book, and one of the things I my son was seven, he asked me, Hey Dad, what do you do for a living?
• 42:35
  SPEAKER_02: I I couldn't say, Oh, I dad provide staff augmentation, professional services, work with them design.
• 42:39
  SPEAKER_02: But he's like, What the hell does that mean?
• 42:40
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, so I just told him I make friends for a living.
• 42:45
  SPEAKER_02: And and you know, like when a friend needs help, they I go help them and they'll pay me money.
• 42:50
  SPEAKER_02: Sometimes a friend needs help, but I'm not the right right friend, so I gotta find a different friend.
• 42:53
  SPEAKER_02: So you know, so like taught them that.
• 42:54
  SPEAKER_02: And so, but what what back at this podcast is like your kids don't care.
• 43:00
  SPEAKER_02: Like you think they care.
• 43:01
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, I'm a pilot or I'm a prophet.
• 43:03
  SPEAKER_02: Who gives a shit?
• 43:05
  SPEAKER_02: Doesn't you're still a dad, and you at that's the most number one, most frickin' most important job we all have.
• 43:12
  SPEAKER_02: And yeah, so who cares?
• 43:14
  SPEAKER_02: You can type more you you can you can you know you can build a house quicker than the guy next to you.
• 43:19
  SPEAKER_02: Who gives a shit?
• 43:20
  SPEAKER_02: Do you have a relationship with your son or daughter?
• 43:22
  SPEAKER_02: Do you know what they like to do?
• 43:24
  SPEAKER_02: Are you trying to figure out ways to help make their life better than yours?
• 43:28
  SPEAKER_02: Are you showing, are you telling them where you sucked?
• 43:30
  SPEAKER_02: Are you apologizing to them?
• 43:32
  SPEAKER_02: Are you teaching them it's okay to ask for help?
• 43:35
  SPEAKER_02: Now listen, I'm not trying to get on a freaking soapbox.
• 43:39
  SPEAKER_02: Like selfishly, everybody, I get free therapy from every episode, and I got a page full of notes here.
• 43:44
  SPEAKER_02: And I hope that if you've not taken notes, you're listening to this, what Chad's talking about, go back and relisten to it.
• 43:49
  SPEAKER_02: Because you and you don't need a podcast to to grow.
• 43:53
  SPEAKER_02: This is just you know, you you need a uh a dude or a buddy or a friend or somebody and go grab coffee.
• 43:59
  SPEAKER_02: Hey man, I'm struggling.
• 44:01
  SPEAKER_02: Or hey, that's right, do I is my ego in the way right now?
• 44:04
  SPEAKER_02: Or hey, man, I'm how can I be a better husband to my wife this week?
• 44:09
  SPEAKER_02: Like, what what are you like find out some of this stuff?
• 44:11
  SPEAKER_02: And it's like um I always tell people, like, we either can be comfortable on the sidelines or you can get get in the game and get uncomfortable.
• 44:19
  SPEAKER_04: This is exactly right, Casey.
• 44:21
  SPEAKER_04: That work I I was saying that I did internally.
• 44:24
  SPEAKER_04: One thing I missed was besides my mentor, there were some people that came into my life, but I had to allow them in, just like you're saying.
• 44:32
  SPEAKER_04: Some sometimes you need to go find them.
• 44:34
  SPEAKER_04: I had the gift of they came to me, and I had to recognize this person can help me.
• 44:38
  SPEAKER_04: And it was humbling because one of those people was my brother, younger brother-in-law, quite a bit younger than me, and I had been like his mentor for so long, and I had helped him financially, and he was a wreck.
• 44:54
  SPEAKER_04: I mean, he almost ended his life three times, was addicted to drugs and alcohol, was total train wreck.
• 45:03
  SPEAKER_04: But he had changed over those years, and he showed up at my door one day, and when I'm it was in my darkness, and he wasn't totally healed yet, but he came and he said, How are you doing?
• 45:15
  SPEAKER_04: And I was able to look at him and say, Not so well.
• 45:18
  SPEAKER_04: And he said, I will be here every day you need.
• 45:21
  SPEAKER_04: He'd lived an hour and 45 minutes away.
• 45:24
  SPEAKER_04: I'll be here every day you need me.
• 45:28
  SPEAKER_04: And I accepted it.
• 45:29
  SPEAKER_04: And what I found from that was here is a kid, he had no kids.
• 45:34
  SPEAKER_04: He taught me more than anybody through my process about how to practically be a good father and learn to love my kids and see them than anybody else.
• 45:47
  SPEAKER_04: But it took me to recognize and to humble myself to start to receive advice.
• 45:52
  SPEAKER_04: And I used to call him for advice.
• 45:55
  SPEAKER_04: No kids, right?
• 45:56
  SPEAKER_04: He has no kids.
• 45:57
  SPEAKER_04: I've got five kids.
• 45:58
  SPEAKER_04: He's his younger brother-in-law, but he had wisdom in droves.
• 46:03
  SPEAKER_04: And without that accountability, and he called me out all the time.
• 46:07
  SPEAKER_04: He'd be like, You you'd no way, you're being an ass.
• 46:12
  SPEAKER_04: You can't do that.
• 46:13
  SPEAKER_04: Like he would just call me out.
• 46:15
  SPEAKER_04: And I, but it was my choice.
• 46:16
  SPEAKER_04: I could have cut him out anytime I wanted, and I think a lot of us do because it's hard.
• 46:21
  SPEAKER_04: When you did that, I would just go inward when he would, I'd be so frustrated sometimes the way he would talk to me, the things he would say, because they would just bring they would trigger me.
• 46:31
  SPEAKER_04: Sure.
• 46:31
  SPEAKER_04: Um, I would just go, I would literally get on my hands and knees into like this submittive prayer state, and just go inward and just ask the question, what is he really saying?
• 46:43
  SPEAKER_04: Is this what I'm feeling legitimate, or is this just something I need to let go of?
• 46:49
  SPEAKER_04: And every time it was let go, let go.
• 46:52
  SPEAKER_04: I just would hear, let go and receive, let go and receive, like humble yourself.
• 46:57
  SPEAKER_04: And so you have to like take that.
• 46:59
  SPEAKER_04: I had to take that time and find that place alone to go process these things.
• 47:02
  SPEAKER_04: Sometimes I just literally like like, give me a minute.
• 47:05
  SPEAKER_04: I go in the other room, close the door, go on my hands and knees, and just go deep and just be like, show me, show me what I'm not seeing, show me, and then go inward.
• 47:14
  SPEAKER_04: And I would be revealed what was actually happening.
• 47:16
  SPEAKER_04: And I come back out and be like, Thank you.
• 47:18
  SPEAKER_04: Thank you.
• 47:19
  SPEAKER_04: Does he know how you feel about him?
• 47:20
  SPEAKER_04: He does.
• 47:21
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, I made sure he knew because as I healed and as I well, as I grew and as I healed and became who I always wanted to be, I mean, I could not help but give back to him.
• 47:32
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, this incredible gift.
• 47:35
  SPEAKER_02: And this is your younger brother-in-law of the divorce you're going through.
• 47:40
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, which is even more powerful.
• 47:43
  SPEAKER_02: So powerful.
• 47:44
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 47:45
  SPEAKER_02: Because you easily could shut that off too.
• 47:46
  SPEAKER_02: You're like, sorry, dude, I'm out.
• 47:48
  SPEAKER_04: Yep.
• 47:49
  SPEAKER_04: Yep.
• 47:49
  SPEAKER_04: So I mean, at the time I wasn't going through divorce, but we were going through a lot of hard times with his sister, my wife, and I.
• 47:56
  SPEAKER_04: And um because there was an illness and I missed all the signs.
• 48:00
  SPEAKER_04: I was blind in the beginning.
• 48:02
  SPEAKER_04: I mean, there was I had a lot to learn about what I was doing and the man I was.
• 48:08
  SPEAKER_04: And I'm so grateful I did that work.
• 48:11
  SPEAKER_04: I am, I was, I was not gonna be in a good place.
• 48:14
  SPEAKER_04: And I could have left early.
• 48:16
  SPEAKER_04: I mean, it was hard, and I think a lot of men do, and I or a lot of women do.
• 48:21
  SPEAKER_04: A lot of people leave uh what I would say is too soon because it's uncomfortable or it's really painful.
• 48:27
  SPEAKER_04: And I'm glad that we as a couple hung on for as long as we did because we grew each other in so many ways.
• 48:35
  SPEAKER_04: When it finally came, it's like it was just obvious.
• 48:38
  SPEAKER_04: It didn't come out of the decision to split.
• 48:41
  SPEAKER_04: This is a big one.
• 48:43
  SPEAKER_04: I didn't believe in divorce, I didn't believe in any of this, but the decision came from a place of peace in the end, truly, did not come out of like all this resentment and anger, and sh not at all.
• 48:56
  SPEAKER_04: Blew my mind, actually.
• 48:57
  SPEAKER_04: Um, it was just time.
• 48:59
  SPEAKER_04: It was so clear that it was time.
• 49:01
  SPEAKER_04: And it took me a while to see that, but then it was clear.
• 49:05
  SPEAKER_04: And I'm so glad that I went as far as I did that we did, because we, I believe, got everything we were supposed to get from that experience.
• 49:15
  SPEAKER_04: And yeah.
• 49:16
  SPEAKER_02: So if there's a dad listening, which I know there is, um that's maybe going through a divorce, it just it's ugly, it's painful.
• 49:25
  SPEAKER_02: Um, because I've interviewed a lot of dads who've gone through divorce, I've interviewed dads who've gone through the court system, I've learned a lot about that, I've learned about and and I don't no one gets married and says, Man, I can't wait to go through divorce.
• 49:35
  SPEAKER_02: This is this is my goal.
• 49:36
  SPEAKER_02: That's gonna be awesome.
• 49:36
  SPEAKER_02: No one wants this, but it happens.
• 49:39
  SPEAKER_02: What would be tell me what would be um one of your biggest aha's through the journey that you wish you could go back and learn quicker that might help another dad at home?
• 49:49
  SPEAKER_02: Easy.
• 49:50
  SPEAKER_02: Easy.
• 49:51
  SPEAKER_04: Because I've actually helped dads going through this divorce and and losing their children and stuff like this.
• 49:58
  SPEAKER_04: And um the most important thing is to first stop and recognize that your circumstances are for your benefit always.
• 50:08
  SPEAKER_04: They are trying to tell you something.
• 50:10
  SPEAKER_04: If you understand the reality of this creation that we are living in, it doesn't take much work to go see how things work.
• 50:18
  SPEAKER_04: Just go look at go look at the world, go look at how nature works.
• 50:23
  SPEAKER_04: You will quickly see that in order for things to grow, they must first die.
• 50:28
  SPEAKER_04: They must first be pruned, rose bushes pruned.
• 50:32
  SPEAKER_04: Look at this how the seasons work.
• 50:34
  SPEAKER_04: The trees literally die, they shed their seeds, right, to grow again.
• 50:39
  SPEAKER_04: This whole creation that we're living in is made for growth.
• 50:42
  SPEAKER_04: We didn't come into these little beings down here to have it easy.
• 50:46
  SPEAKER_04: We came to grow.
• 50:48
  SPEAKER_04: And this is like foundationally, everything that I tell my kids all the time this whole thing is about growth.
• 50:54
  SPEAKER_04: So don't expect it to be easy.
• 50:56
  SPEAKER_04: And when things are hard, they're not bad.
• 50:58
  SPEAKER_04: They're trying to tell you something.
• 51:00
  SPEAKER_04: So as fast as you can, I do it now all the time.
• 51:02
  SPEAKER_04: Anytime something, anytime something is hard now, I stop immediately and I go inward and go, okay, what am I to learn from this?
• 51:08
  SPEAKER_04: There's obviously something for me to learn.
• 51:10
  SPEAKER_04: It's never to do with the other person.
• 51:12
  SPEAKER_04: Never.
• 51:13
  SPEAKER_04: I mean that.
• 51:14
  SPEAKER_04: It's never about them.
• 51:16
  SPEAKER_04: There's always something in me I can uncover.
• 51:19
  SPEAKER_04: And the faster I do that, the faster I find peace with it, the faster I grow, and the faster normally those circumstances change.
• 51:27
  SPEAKER_04: But they don't always have to change.
• 51:29
  SPEAKER_04: Sometimes you just got to deal with the circumstance.
• 51:32
  SPEAKER_04: Maybe it's a really bad divorce, and you just got to deal with it and recognize that that thing is there for your benefit.
• 51:38
  SPEAKER_04: So learn everything you can through the whole experience.
• 51:43
  SPEAKER_04: Do not spend too much time in victimhood, in blaming, in why they're so mean, they're doing all these things.
• 51:53
  SPEAKER_04: Recognize it's all there for your benefit.
• 51:56
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, that's powerful, man.
• 51:57
  SPEAKER_02: I think it's so true.
• 51:58
  SPEAKER_02: It's easier said than done at times, and I think everybody's gonna go through that journey at their own pace.
• 52:03
  SPEAKER_02: But when you can realize that um it's there's growth.
• 52:10
  SPEAKER_02: Um, I know one thing I was gonna say.
• 52:11
  SPEAKER_02: I wanted to, I wanted to um, you said something earlier where back to identity that made me think.
• 52:16
  SPEAKER_02: So I remember like one of my biggest blessings my wife gave me was when I was first got into coaching, because I did not mean to do it.
• 52:23
  SPEAKER_02: I did not mean to get an executive sales and leadership work.
• 52:26
  SPEAKER_02: Uh I knew I wrote I wanted to write a book and do a podcast when I was when I left corporate to try to figure out hey, what's next for me?
• 52:31
  SPEAKER_02: And then I got so wrapped up into like, oh my god, this is so fun.
• 52:34
  SPEAKER_02: I'm helping people and I'm and this coaching and da da da da and all you know, all these things, and it because it was almost like my new identity.
• 52:41
  SPEAKER_02: And then at one point, um my wife looked at me one day and this is like four years ago.
• 52:46
  SPEAKER_03: Remember like yesterday, she goes, Hey, um, we don't want to get coached.
• 52:54
  SPEAKER_03: And I was like, wait, what?
• 52:55
  SPEAKER_03: She's like, Yeah, we we want Casey the dad back.
• 53:00
  SPEAKER_02: Let let him let him know.
• 53:02
  SPEAKER_02: And I could have easily been like, F you or what why are you being such a heartless wench?
• 53:08
  SPEAKER_02: But I was like, whoa, what a what a punch in the face that I needed.
• 53:11
  SPEAKER_02: Because I didn't want my friends thinking the guy was like this holier the mighty.
• 53:16
  SPEAKER_02: Like, they didn't ask to get coached, they asked me to go play golf them.
• 53:18
  SPEAKER_02: They asked me to go grab a beer, they asked me to go, hey, let's go to watch the mariname.
• 53:23
  SPEAKER_02: They didn't think, like hey, deep down, we want you to coach me and like talk about your podcast for seven hours.
• 53:28
  SPEAKER_02: Like, if they want to know, they're gonna ask.
• 53:31
  SPEAKER_02: And it was such a blessing for me, man, because like that doesn't mean I'm not proud of what I'm doing.
• 53:37
  SPEAKER_02: I'm very proud of what I do, and I love what I do, and I get so much joy in meeting people like you and creating stories, and hopefully it hits the right person at the right time, or going to you know, speaking at a conference and you have something come up to you and you feel like you change our life.
• 53:50
  SPEAKER_02: That I've have so much joy in that, but it does not define me.
• 53:55
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, you know, and it's like I hope that people like and dude, you're you're like the epitome of it, freaking Reebok executive, everyone in the world for Reebok.
• 54:04
  SPEAKER_02: And to share what you've shared, I think is just so powerful and vulnerable.
• 54:07
  SPEAKER_02: And I hope that there's a dad listening that you know, you can keep telling yourself the story, dad, or you can be honest with yourself.
• 54:16
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, let's make a change today.
• 54:18
  SPEAKER_02: Why not?
• 54:19
  SPEAKER_02: Why not you?
• 54:21
  SPEAKER_02: You know, and um I think I think it's great.
• 54:24
  SPEAKER_02: So I appreciate you you sharing this.
• 54:26
  SPEAKER_02: Um if if before I want before I want to make sure we're getting ready to wrap up here because I could talk to you for hours, dude.
• 54:33
  SPEAKER_02: If you were to summarize everything that we've talked about, so that's that's enough, we're gonna we're gonna make a little cocktail here.
• 54:40
  SPEAKER_02: So that's that's part of the ingredients.
• 54:41
  SPEAKER_02: The other part of the ingredients is gonna be like so everything we've talked about today, everything you've learned as a dad uh on your journey so far, you put all this together.
• 54:50
  SPEAKER_02: What would be like, we'll call it two or three actionable things that dads can take from our conversation to be a better leader or quarterback of their home based on everything we've talked about today?
• 54:59
  SPEAKER_02: Sure.
• 55:01
  SPEAKER_04: Um, first thing is go inward first.
• 55:04
  SPEAKER_04: Look at what's going on in yourself.
• 55:07
  SPEAKER_03: Do not be afraid to do that, and don't go at it alone.
• 55:14
  SPEAKER_04: What do you mean by that?
• 55:15
  SPEAKER_04: It means, like you said, find somebody, they're there.
• 55:19
  SPEAKER_04: I guarantee you if you're ready, which is how the universe works, there will be somebody who is available to go through it with you.
• 55:26
  SPEAKER_04: Somebody who's been through it before.
• 55:28
  SPEAKER_04: I mean, this is basically you and I reach out to one of us.
• 55:31
  SPEAKER_04: I mean, somebody who has who can help you, a buddy who's been through it or going through it, and go inward and find out what's going on there and and find a way to talk about it.
• 55:43
  SPEAKER_04: Journal about it, talk about it.
• 55:44
  SPEAKER_04: But you got you gotta go inward.
• 55:46
  SPEAKER_04: Um recognize that uh everything works for your benefit, and there is something to learn from everything in life.
• 56:01
  SPEAKER_04: Never look and which which means there is never blame accusation ever.
• 56:10
  SPEAKER_04: It will never fly, it will always lead you astray.
• 56:14
  SPEAKER_04: You always miss the mark.
• 56:16
  SPEAKER_04: So even yourself, there is no blame.
• 56:20
  SPEAKER_04: Beautiful thing down here.
• 56:22
  SPEAKER_04: And um and rem remember that this is a very short little stint.
• 56:29
  SPEAKER_04: This little thing we call life is but a blip on a radar, it's real short.
• 56:34
  SPEAKER_04: And so enjoy the crap out of it.
• 56:37
  SPEAKER_04: Like these journeys, this stuff we're talking about, is heavy.
• 56:41
  SPEAKER_04: It can be really hard.
• 56:43
  SPEAKER_04: And a lot of times during my journey, I forgot to enjoy myself because I was in so much pain.
• 56:49
  SPEAKER_04: But if you have the perspective and you understand this life is short, this whole thing is about growth down here, then that means everything is okay.
• 56:57
  SPEAKER_04: Enjoy it.
• 56:58
  SPEAKER_04: So I'm gonna give just a very short example.
• 57:01
  SPEAKER_04: This happened to me recently.
• 57:04
  SPEAKER_04: I was met with an obstacle, something came at me from the outside, came at me and it stung.
• 57:12
  SPEAKER_04: And I stopped and said, What do I need to learn?
• 57:15
  SPEAKER_04: And then the very next thing I did was started laughing and said thank you to the person, not to them, but to in my own by myself, I started laughing and said, Thank you.
• 57:24
  SPEAKER_04: This is freaking great.
• 57:26
  SPEAKER_04: This is why I came here.
• 57:27
  SPEAKER_04: This is like this, what a beautiful opportunity.
• 57:31
  SPEAKER_04: And when I coach people, this is what I say, though a lot of times it's shocking.
• 57:34
  SPEAKER_04: But they'll present some horrible, and I'll look at them and say, This is amazing.
• 57:39
  SPEAKER_04: You might not want to hear this, but this is like, think about what's happening right now.
• 57:43
  SPEAKER_04: You get the greatest opportunity to grow.
• 57:45
  SPEAKER_04: Like you're in the best workout ever.
• 57:47
  SPEAKER_04: You're gonna be like the fittest person on earth when you come out of this thing.
• 57:51
  SPEAKER_04: So it's like this total joy and gratitude for that trial, and it just transforms the moment.
• 57:57
  SPEAKER_04: It's not some bullshit.
• 57:58
  SPEAKER_04: I'm not saying like you're tricking yourself.
• 58:00
  SPEAKER_04: I truly feel that when it comes.
• 58:03
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 58:03
  SPEAKER_04: And it's yeah, that's it.
• 58:06
  SPEAKER_02: Love it, man.
• 58:08
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 58:09
  SPEAKER_02: If let's talk about activate.
• 58:11
  SPEAKER_02: You you you you found it a coaching consulting business, you're helping people, you kind of tease us a little bit.
• 58:16
  SPEAKER_02: Tell us, tell us how people can um get connected with you, learn about you, um, and learn about the work you're doing for a lot of people.
• 58:25
  SPEAKER_04: So the website's activate my identity.com because I believe the greatest um epidemic we have in the world is a lack of true identity.
• 58:35
  SPEAKER_04: It's where everything starts, in my opinion.
• 58:37
  SPEAKER_04: So that's what that's the work that we do, and we do it through um lived experience, obviously.
• 58:42
  SPEAKER_04: There's more than one of us.
• 58:44
  SPEAKER_04: There's there's I have two other partners.
• 58:46
  SPEAKER_04: And we have the the best way I can describe it is there are things we know about nature that exist in codes, Fibonacci sequence, circadian rhythm, um, weather patterns.
• 59:01
  SPEAKER_04: We have learned so much about these things in science.
• 59:04
  SPEAKER_04: Well, there are also codes to our existence as a human being, and we each have a unique design.
• 59:10
  SPEAKER_04: And we have we have access to those.
• 59:13
  SPEAKER_04: They've been around some of them for thousands of years, and we use these to help people see their design, their unique design, along with our lived experience, and unlock themselves because that this is what I was lacking.
• 59:26
  SPEAKER_04: What I was lacking in my journey, even my journey of spirituality, was this definitive understanding of myself.
• 59:32
  SPEAKER_04: Like I understood at the core who I was, and I was loved, and I was all these things.
• 59:36
  SPEAKER_04: But now I literally have a map of my design.
• 59:39
  SPEAKER_04: I know my exact, I know my destiny, I know my strengths, my weaknesses.
• 59:42
  SPEAKER_04: It sounds eerie, but it's no more eerie than uncovering the Fibonacci sequence, like on how order and chaos, order versus chaos works.
• 59:54
  SPEAKER_04: So um, this is the work that we do, and I'm super passionate about it because it unlocks people like us.
• 1:00:00
  SPEAKER_04: I've never seen anything do because it shows them who they truly are at the core.
• 1:00:04
  SPEAKER_04: They got to do the work.
• 1:00:05
  SPEAKER_04: But um you'll see us posting also on Instagram.
• 1:00:08
  SPEAKER_04: I'm on Instagram and CWitman1419.
• 1:00:11
  SPEAKER_04: I'll give you the links to include in this.
• 1:00:13
  SPEAKER_04: But um yeah, and we're just getting going.
• 1:00:16
  SPEAKER_04: I've been coaching people for five years behind the scenes one-on-one CEOs and individuals, and it's time for us to share our method with the world because it's been just so transformative.
• 1:00:30
  SPEAKER_02: Love it, man.
• 1:00:31
  SPEAKER_02: Well, I I I hope that people take time to click on the links in the show notes.
• 1:00:38
  SPEAKER_02: If you've seen this on Instagram, you've seen this on LinkedIn.
• 1:00:41
  SPEAKER_02: Um, reach out to Chad, learn more about his work.
• 1:00:43
  SPEAKER_02: Uh obviously, I I think one of my favorite things you said about your guys' business, it's lived experience.
• 1:00:48
  SPEAKER_02: That spoke to me big time because um that was one of the biggest reasons I almost didn't get into coaching because I was telling myself a story.
• 1:00:55
  SPEAKER_02: Well, I'm not certified.
• 1:00:56
  SPEAKER_02: I don't, I don't, I didn't go to coaching school.
• 1:00:58
  SPEAKER_02: But actually, I realized that Chad, I'm the only one certified in my coaching program.
• 1:01:02
  SPEAKER_02: It's called Win the Relationship, Not the Deal.
• 1:01:04
  SPEAKER_02: I'm the only one.
• 1:01:04
  SPEAKER_02: And I'm the only one that'll ever be certified in that.
• 1:01:06
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, yeah, it's beautiful.
• 1:01:08
  SPEAKER_02: So, you know, and so it's like it's again mindset shift, but like I I I like I like working people or surround myself, people who walk the walk a little bit, who've been there.
• 1:01:18
  SPEAKER_02: Not to say that yeah, I can't learn like your brother-in-law's perfect example.
• 1:01:22
  SPEAKER_02: But I don't, I I wanna I want to learn from wisdom of people that either you know because you've been there or you know because you know someone who's been there and you're not guessing.
• 1:01:33
  SPEAKER_02: And it's it's a it's uh such a what a gift that like I feel like at the state of life I'm in, I get to send the elevator back down to somebody who hey dude, don't take the stairs.
• 1:01:42
  SPEAKER_02: Here's the elevator, but here's the lesson, don't do what I did because it's not that it ain't gonna work.
• 1:01:47
  SPEAKER_04: Correct, correct.
• 1:01:48
  SPEAKER_04: And it's just a blessing to be able to give it away.
• 1:01:50
  SPEAKER_04: That's what we that's what we exist for.
• 1:01:53
  SPEAKER_04: That's it.
• 1:01:53
  SPEAKER_04: We live our experiences not for ourselves ultimately, but we to give them back.
• 1:01:58
  SPEAKER_04: And that and you know it because you're Casey, you're a rare bird, my friend, who has uncovered the truth of our existence without spiritual, without this, any of that necessarily uh what a lot of people might be turned off by.
• 1:02:12
  SPEAKER_04: Let's say it's not that you don't have beliefs, I don't know what they are, but you seem to have found it in your own way.
• 1:02:19
  SPEAKER_04: But all I see and all I hear from you is the truth about what we are doing here, and you are walking in it, and it's beautiful, so rare.
• 1:02:29
  SPEAKER_02: Well, look at this, Chad.
• 1:02:30
  SPEAKER_02: Everybody can't see this, everybody at home, but I'm this Chad is a gratitude journal.
• 1:02:35
  SPEAKER_02: There you go.
• 1:02:36
  SPEAKER_02: Every morning, and every morning I say the same thing.
• 1:02:40
  SPEAKER_02: God, thanks for waking me up today.
• 1:02:41
  SPEAKER_02: Now, I know about you, I've not met God.
• 1:02:44
  SPEAKER_02: Uh but I have something I pray to and it speaks to me.
• 1:02:48
  SPEAKER_02: I look at a scripture every morning.
• 1:02:49
  SPEAKER_02: Sometimes I have no idea what the hell it means.
• 1:02:50
  SPEAKER_02: Sometimes like, mm, that spoke to me.
• 1:02:53
  SPEAKER_02: Um, but I I am like I would say very spiritual dude, but I don't go to church.
• 1:03:00
  SPEAKER_02: I don't want to get that's another Pandora's box that I want to go down.
• 1:03:03
  SPEAKER_02: But I'm just saying to me, it's like my my spirituality in my church is just be nice.
• 1:03:08
  SPEAKER_02: Kindness wins, be a good person, go out of my way to be curious, help somebody, don't be an asshole.
• 1:03:14
  SPEAKER_02: Simple, isn't it?
• 1:03:15
  SPEAKER_02: If there's someone on LinkedIn that should go meet somebody, make an introduction.
• 1:03:18
  SPEAKER_02: Um, I interviewed somebody yesterday who does the exact same thing I do, and I'm gonna promote the hell out of them.
• 1:03:24
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 1:03:25
  SPEAKER_02: When you're in abundance, man, it is frizz.
• 1:03:27
  SPEAKER_02: Amen.
• 1:03:28
  SPEAKER_02: I shout out to Chris Mater.
• 1:03:30
  SPEAKER_02: My I can't, I made the choice not to go to a um made I made the choice not to go be a speaker at another conference that would probably benefit me greatly.
• 1:03:40
  SPEAKER_02: I chose going to my son's golf tournament in November.
• 1:03:44
  SPEAKER_02: And if people want to judge me for that, then that's that that's their I don't have control over that, but I know I'm doing the right thing in 10 years I'm not gonna regret it.
• 1:03:52
  SPEAKER_02: Nope.
• 1:03:52
  SPEAKER_02: And but instead of just leaving him high and dry, I went and found him uh essentially a competitor that does what I do, but he's a great friend of mine.
• 1:03:59
  SPEAKER_02: I'm like, he you're in great hands, he's gonna take care of you.
• 1:04:02
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, and I'm not worried about like, oh, what am I not gonna get out of it?
• 1:04:05
  SPEAKER_04: I'm worried about hey, what are they gonna get out of it?
• 1:04:08
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, yeah, which is why you'll be more than okay because you you are operating in flow with the way it's all designed here.
• 1:04:15
  SPEAKER_04: God made this in a way that love is the ultimate currency.
• 1:04:19
  SPEAKER_04: And all can be provided for when you operate like that.
• 1:04:24
  SPEAKER_02: Beautiful freeing, man.
• 1:04:25
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, I will make sure this is linked in the show notes.
• 1:04:28
  SPEAKER_02: It's now time to go into the lightning round chat, which I show you the negative hits of taking too many hits in college, not bong hits, but football hits.
• 1:04:35
  SPEAKER_02: Your job is to answer these questions hopefully as quickly as you can.
• 1:04:38
  SPEAKER_02: My job is to try to get a giggle out of you.
• 1:04:41
  SPEAKER_03: Deal.
• 1:04:42
  SPEAKER_03: Are you ready?
• 1:04:43
  SPEAKER_04: I think so.
• 1:04:44
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 1:04:45
  SPEAKER_02: Um, the reason why you left Reebok is because you kept winning the CrossFit games.
• 1:04:52
  SPEAKER_04: Good job.
• 1:04:54
  SPEAKER_04: Nope.
• 1:04:56
  SPEAKER_04: I was burned out and ready to leave.
• 1:04:59
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, but yeah.
• 1:05:01
  SPEAKER_02: Um if you were to score a game-winning goal in and to win the Stanley Cup or win the lacrosse World Series, whatever the hell that's I don't even know what it's called.
• 1:05:12
  SPEAKER_02: What would you rather do?
• 1:05:13
  SPEAKER_02: Versus what?
• 1:05:14
  SPEAKER_02: Sorry.
• 1:05:14
  SPEAKER_02: You gotta either you get the Stanley Cup, game-winning goal, game seven, hockey, or you're gonna, whatever the pro sport and whatever the pro version of lacrosse is.
• 1:05:22
  SPEAKER_02: Hockey, hockey.
• 1:05:23
  SPEAKER_04: Okay, definitely hockey.
• 1:05:24
  SPEAKER_02: Favorite hockey team is red Detroit Red Rings.
• 1:05:28
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, yeah, Iserman.
• 1:05:29
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, yeah.
• 1:05:31
  SPEAKER_02: Better off.
• 1:05:31
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, yeah.
• 1:05:32
  SPEAKER_02: I'm a Seattle Kraken guy.
• 1:05:34
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, wow, okay.
• 1:05:35
  SPEAKER_02: I love hockey.
• 1:05:36
  SPEAKER_02: I've never played it except for floor hockey, but I love hockey.
• 1:05:38
  SPEAKER_02: I can't wait for hockey season to start.
• 1:05:40
  SPEAKER_02: Um, tell me the last book you read.
• 1:05:43
  SPEAKER_04: Um Letting Go by David Hawkins.
• 1:05:46
  SPEAKER_04: Letting Go by David Hawkins.
• 1:05:48
  SPEAKER_04: Okay.
• 1:05:48
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, yeah, that's a good one.
• 1:05:50
  SPEAKER_02: Let's do that.
• 1:05:51
  SPEAKER_02: Letting Go by David Hawkins.
• 1:05:52
  SPEAKER_02: Letting Go by David Hockey.
• 1:05:53
  SPEAKER_02: I'll write that down.
• 1:05:55
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, if I went into your phone, what would be the one genre of music that might surprise your kids?
• 1:06:00
  SPEAKER_02: I tell my kids everything.
• 1:06:02
  SPEAKER_02: I don't think there's anything.
• 1:06:03
  SPEAKER_04: May probably um uh like Asian Tai Chi kind of music.
• 1:06:11
  SPEAKER_04: Okay.
• 1:06:11
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 1:06:12
  SPEAKER_02: If you were to go on vacation right now, you and the person of your choice, whoever it could be, but it can't be your kids.
• 1:06:18
  SPEAKER_02: Where are you going?
• 1:06:20
  SPEAKER_02: To be a friend, partner, brother-in-law.
• 1:06:23
  SPEAKER_04: I'm going, I'm going to uh Italy.
• 1:06:26
  SPEAKER_04: I'm going to multiple places in Italy.
• 1:06:29
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 1:06:33
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, I'd go to the Napoli area.
• 1:06:36
  SPEAKER_04: I'd do Rome, do Florence.
• 1:06:38
  SPEAKER_04: It's been way too many years.
• 1:06:40
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 1:06:40
  SPEAKER_04: Italy.
• 1:06:41
  SPEAKER_02: If there was to be a book written about your life, tell me the title.
• 1:06:46
  SPEAKER_02: Letting Go.
• 1:06:48
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 1:06:48
  SPEAKER_02: The same book I read.
• 1:06:50
  SPEAKER_02: There we go.
• 1:06:50
  SPEAKER_02: Now it's not letting go frozen, everybody, like the Disney.
• 1:06:54
  SPEAKER_02: It's a different type of letting go.
• 1:06:55
  SPEAKER_02: So now Disney, believe it or not, and Netflix and Hulu and all these, they're going to try to make a movie out of this, and that that's going to surpass the other Letting Go, which I can play in the guitar.
• 1:07:06
  SPEAKER_02: True story.
• 1:07:07
  SPEAKER_02: Uh, and now, Chad, you are the casting director.
• 1:07:10
  SPEAKER_02: I need to know who's going to star you in this critically acclaimed hit new movie.
• 1:07:14
  SPEAKER_04: Who's going to star me?
• 1:07:15
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 1:07:16
  SPEAKER_02: What do you mean?
• 1:07:17
  SPEAKER_02: Who's going to be the the critically acclaimed actor that's going to win a golden globe for letting go?
• 1:07:24
  SPEAKER_02: And I need you to cast directors and you know what Hollywood is.
• 1:07:26
  SPEAKER_04: Well, you know, I've I've been told that Harry Connig Jr.
• 1:07:29
  SPEAKER_04: resembles me quite well.
• 1:07:30
  SPEAKER_01: So I love it.
• 1:07:33
  SPEAKER_02: But I need to find a younger version of him.
• 1:07:36
  SPEAKER_02: I think he could pull it off.
• 1:07:37
  SPEAKER_02: I think he could pull off.
• 1:07:39
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and then last question tell me two words that that would describe the joy you have for your children.
• 1:07:46
  SPEAKER_02: Abundance.
• 1:07:47
  SPEAKER_02: Hmm, good one.
• 1:07:48
  SPEAKER_02: Joy.
• 1:07:49
  SPEAKER_02: There we go.
• 1:07:51
  SPEAKER_02: Lightning rounds complete.
• 1:07:52
  SPEAKER_02: We got a giggle.
• 1:07:53
  SPEAKER_02: Um, I went random as usual.
• 1:07:55
  SPEAKER_02: Um man, this has been a blessing and what a gift uh on a Tuesday morning.
• 1:08:00
  SPEAKER_02: Uh everybody, thank you again for your continued support.
• 1:08:03
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you again for taking time to listen to each episode.
• 1:08:06
  SPEAKER_02: If I know this episode's hit somebody right in the heart, and my ask of you is go share with somebody.
• 1:08:12
  SPEAKER_02: Uh, take time to leave us a review on wherever you listen to this episode.
• 1:08:16
  SPEAKER_02: This is how the whole algorithm game works.
• 1:08:18
  SPEAKER_02: I I don't play well enough because I just keep recording episodes.
• 1:08:21
  SPEAKER_02: And one thing I told Chad before we started is we try to get a little bit more smarter in 2026 about how this whole podcast operates because there's more dads that that must hear these stories that we are sharing, and there's 320 of them now that I've done, and we're already talking about season seven.
• 1:08:37
  SPEAKER_02: Um, but man, I'm grateful for a pass.
• 1:08:40
  SPEAKER_02: Therese, thank you for for bringing two C Dogs together.
• 1:08:44
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, C Dog.
• 1:08:46
  SPEAKER_02: Thanks, T Bake.
• 1:08:47
  SPEAKER_02: I call her Tea Bake, by the way.
• 1:08:49
  SPEAKER_02: Ooh, T Bake.
• 1:08:51
  SPEAKER_02: There we go.
• 1:08:52
  SPEAKER_02: All right, all right, man.
• 1:08:54
  SPEAKER_02: I appreciate you.
• 1:08:54
  SPEAKER_02: I'll let you know this episode goes live, but very, very grateful our pass across.
• 1:08:57
  SPEAKER_02: And I know this is not the last time we'll be speaking.
• 1:08:59
  SPEAKER_02: Same, man.
• 1:09:00
  SPEAKER_04: Thanks, Casey.