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What Happens When a Narcissist Realizes That You Don't Care Anymore · The Mental Healness Podcast

• 0:00
  So what happens when a narcissist realizes that you no
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  longer care about that? When you when the caring has
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  stopped, when the love and affection from your side has
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  exited stage left, when you have logged out of the relationship
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  emotionally? What happens to the narcissist?
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  What did they do? How do they act?
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  That's what we're talking about today, y'all.
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  If you're new here, my name is Lee Hammock.
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  I'm a clinically diagnosed narcissist.
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  Here to give you the perspective of a narcissist.
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  And welcome to another episode of The Narcissist Code.
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  Welcome back. Welcome back.
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  Welcome back, folks. Yes.
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  What happens when a narcissist realizes that you no longer
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  care? I got inspired, but I saw the
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  thumbnail. Somebody else's video.
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  I did not know whose page it was on.
• 0:58
  I'm sorry if I'll see the video. Tag it below.
• 1:01
  Listen, tag the creator below. I'm not.
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  I'm not a content thief, but I was just reaching through
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  scrolling while I was in the car going to my son's game and I saw
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  the video. I was like, oh, there it is
• 1:10
  right there. And I was like, Dang, I can do
• 1:12
  that video right there. And I just, I, I can't find it
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  again. So if y'all see that video,
• 1:17
  shout out to him. I'll if I find it, I'll tag the
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  creator or whatever because I'm not a content deist.
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  But this is what goes on y'all. What?
• 1:24
  What happens in the mind of a narcissist when they realized
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  that you no longer care? What do they do?
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  So there's going to be a 2 parter with two parts within one
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  part. We call that narcissistic
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  inception, right? But seriously, the first thing
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  that typically happens when a narcissist could like when I say
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  2 parts is what I mean. Sometimes they want you to no
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  longer care, right? Other times they do they want
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  you to care. So we're going to, we're going
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  to talk about the part of first when they do want you to care.
• 1:55
  Like I've said this before, narcissistic people have like a
• 1:59
  sixth sense. Some of us do, right?
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  We're like very intuitive. We can tell when something's
• 2:05
  going on with you. We can tell when you're hurting
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  or when you're sad or whatever. We know y'all.
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  I tell y'all. We know it.
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  We know it. We might pretend like we don't
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  know it, but we absolutely, absolutely, absolutely do know
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  that something is going on. We do know that something is
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  wrong. We do know that you're not
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  feeling it because we can tell. We can tell when you're
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  withdrawing, when you're pulling away from us.
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  Like real life example, when my wife had left back in 2020,
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  right when the pandemic started, right?
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  I could tell that she was unhappy.
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  We, we would be in the kitchen and her body language, I've read
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  a bunch of, I've read, I've read a bunch of body language books,
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  right? So we'd be in the kitchen and
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  her shoulders would be slumped and she would be like washing
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  dishes or something like cooking.
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  And she would be like her head be down And I could just tell I
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  was like, you know what my wife would need right now?
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  She needs a hook. She, she, she, she seems like
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  she's logged out, but my mind would not let me hug you.
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  I was just telling you my mind, boy, I'm so glad for therapy.
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  Therapy's allowed me to have so much more control over my mind
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  and my thought process. It really, really has y'all.
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  But that's been a big piece of my journey right there.
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  It's just like getting control of my, my mind, just in general,
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  getting control of my mind, of my head and whatnot.
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  Because I knew that she was unhappy.
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  You know, I did. I could tell it in certain
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  situations I would like previously when she would be
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  unhappy, I would just jump into hugging her, kissing on her
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  bread, crumbing her right love bombing her and things like
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  that, right. You know, I would I would jump
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  into doing that because that's what I wanted to do because I
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  wasn't ready for her to leave. I didn't want her to leave.
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  So I would jump right into that right.
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  I would jump into it seriously, You know, I would just be ready
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  to go. So, right, I'll be so ready to
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  go. I'll be like, yeah, that's my
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  opportunity to just to love bomb her, to give her a little love
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  pop. It wasn't even, it wasn't even
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  really a love bomb, right? Because sometimes when
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  narcissists tell, they tell you no longer care anymore.
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  You you're logged out. They'll start to love bomb you
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  because they want you to care. They'll start to turn on the
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  affection. They'll be overly affectionate.
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  They will become the person that they were in the beginning.
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  And this is one of the most frustrating things that happens
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  to so many people. They will become the person that
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  they were originally and you will see it.
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  Does this work sometimes? Yeah, it does.
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  When they could tell you that you no longer care, when they
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  could tell that you're no longer happy with them, they'll turn
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  the love on and you'll be happy again.
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  Your energy is back in the relationship.
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  You'll be like, damn, maybe I'll this is have you questioning
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  yourself. You'll be like, well, maybe I
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  was. Maybe I was overreacting, maybe
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  I was just wasn't seeing that they were actually trying to
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  love me. I'm happy again.
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  And you'll go right back into it head first.
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  You dive head first back into the relationship.
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  But you know what I'm saying? You dive is like your
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  relationship with the narcissist is like a pool, right?
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  You dive head first back into the relationship with your eyes
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  closed, not realizing that the pool is empty.
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  What happens when you dive head first into an empty pool with
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  your eyes closed? I bet y'all can imagine, like
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  Willy, you dive head first into an empty pool with your eyes
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  closed. You're probably going to snap
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  your neck. Yes, you're going to snap your
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  neck because you're going to, you definitely going to get
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  hurt. Because you expected things to
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  be different. You expected things to be
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  different. You expected things to go back
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  to how they used to be, which why would yeah, why wouldn't
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  they go back to how they used to be?
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  Because now y'all working with y'all doing things for each
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  other, y'all working together, y'all all happy again, right?
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  So why wouldn't things go back to how they used to be, right?
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  So now you're working hard, now you're doing this, now you're
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  doing that, now the relationship is moving forward or whatever
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  the case may be, and you're happy again.
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  But then they pull the love back and then you snap back to
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  reality and then you're unhappy again.
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  The ups and downs, the ups and downs.
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  But now what? What's happened?
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  They, they've given you a taste of happiness.
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  They give you a taste of peace. They give you a taste of it, so
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  now you're craving it. So now you might stay longer
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  because now you should. You see who they are.
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  Even though they start to act, they start to withdraw again.
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  Even though they started to take the love away again, you start,
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  you start to try again harder. You think it's on you now.
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  Maybe it is me, maybe I overreacted, maybe I did this,
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  maybe I did that. So you start to work harder on
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  the relationship to keep this person there, to do this and to
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  do that and that. And that makes a lot of sense
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  when you're dealing with a narcissistic person, doesn't it?
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  Because that that just keeps the cycle going.
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  So sometimes when they see that you don't care anymore, that you
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  no longer care that you're logged out, they'll start to
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  literally love bomb you or they'll start an argument.
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  Let's be real, even if they want you to stay, some of them will
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  start an argument with you because of out of anger and the
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  frustration, they'll just start to get mad as hell at you.
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  What the hell is wrong with you? Why you acting like that?
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  Why can't I touch you? Why you acting all Snooty?
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  Why you acting all stuck up? See, that's why, that's why we
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  that's why we're not going to work because you acting like
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  look how you acting, look how you behaving.
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  That's why we never work. You see, you see, it's crazy,
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  isn't it? It's crazy how that goes.
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  So, so many people get stuck in these situations because when
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  they feel like you no longer care, they start to act like
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  they do and it confuses you. You start to no longer care.
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  You start to no longer care. You log out of relationship
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  because you think they logged out.
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  You think y'all logged out together?
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  It's like, oh, so we, I guess we logged out together.
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  We both emotionally disconnected in this relationship.
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  We both emotionally logged out, but then they turned it on.
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  You like, well, I need to turn it on.
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  But it doesn't always work, right?
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  Sometimes you'll still escape, sometimes you still leave, which
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  still happens. You know, if you are unhappy,
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  you might should leave, right? But that ends up being a big
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  piece of it. So many people that are dealing
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  with narcissistic people fall into this category, fall into
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  this, this kind of vortex of the narcissist being extremely
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  manipulative and abusive and toxic as hell.
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  And you're like, what the hell is going on between the sheets
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  in my home? Baby, wait, let me explain
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  before you start the point. You can't, OK?
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  Y'all know I had to. I had to hit R Kelly.
• 8:13
  I mean, not to R. Is that R Kelly?
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  Yeah, Well, I think it is. I'm sorry, y'all.
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  I know R Kelly is on some craziness.
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  Sorry, y'all apologies for that one, but that's how it goes.
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  Now, on the other side of things, when a narcissist
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  realizes that you don't that, that you no longer care.
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  Sometimes, y'all, and I've talked about this in other
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  videos, sometimes they want you to no longer care.
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  Sometimes they are intentionally trying to push you out of the
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  door. They don't want to be with you
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  no more anyway. Sometimes they are hopefully
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  hoping that they've treated you bad enough to the point where
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  you just up and leave. To the point where you break up
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  with them. To the point that you called it
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  quits, that you call off the that you end the relationship,
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  that you call off the engagement, that you file for
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  divorce and you move out, you file for separation.
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  That's called the reverse discard.
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  And that is a way that a lot of narcissists play the victim.
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  So when they don't longer care and they want you to leave,
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  they'll keep, they'll pretty much usher you out the door if
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  they have new supply or they or they want to hunt for some new
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  supply. Yeah, they'll usher you out the
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  damn door pretty much because they want to go out there and
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  find somebody else or they already have somebody else and
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  they won't have the, they want to be able to play the victim.
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  They want to be able to have that excuse.
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  So sometimes if they want you to leave, they'll start to treat
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  you bad so you no longer care. And then the love mommy won't
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  start back over, right? The little love pop won't
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  happen. And that's the truth.
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  The love pop will not happen. And that's confusing as hell.
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  They can mess with you as well, can't it?
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  It's one of the things, y'all, this is what this is one of
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  these situations that continuously happens is that so
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  many people will. They'll mess with your head over
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  and over and over again. They'll get deep into your
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  psyche over and over and over again to the point where you are
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  just perpetually unhappy and then you leave.
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  So some nurses want you to be the one to leave so they can
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  play the victim. But back to the first part, when
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  they don't want you to leave some or, or when they do want
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  you to leave, this can, this can apply for both right here.
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  Sometimes when they realize that you no longer care, even if they
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  want you to stay, sometimes they'll start a smear campaign
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  on you. They'll go ahead and get ahead,
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  try to get ahead of you leaving because even if they want you to
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  stay, you might not want to stay.
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  You might be logged out and never coming back.
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  So they go ahead and start a smear campaign within your
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  friend group or within your family circle or your family
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  unit to go ahead and try to get it to go ahead and try to get
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  ahead of the things that you're going to say about them
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  possibly. So sometimes they'll start a
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  smear campaign on you in order to try to get ahead of things
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  that you might say, might or might might not say, you may or
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  may not say about them. So sometimes if they've
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  realized, when they realize that you no longer care, they will
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  start to lose their damn minds. They'll start the active monkey
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  pretty much right when they start the active monkey.
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  You already know what this you already know what what what
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  happens when people start the active monkey?
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  They start beating their chest like a gorilla.
• 11:06
  Anyway, y'all thanks for rocking me to the end of this video.
• 11:09
  Y'all know I've got nothing to love and appreciation for every
• 11:11
  single one of y'all. My courses, my support group,
• 11:14
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• 11:16
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• 11:19
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• 11:21
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• 11:24
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• 11:27
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• 11:29
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• 11:34
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• 11:36
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• 11:45
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• 11:48
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• 11:50
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• 11:52
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• 12:00
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• 12:08
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