Latest / Fake Doctors, Real Friends with Zach and Donald / "Do You Accept This Assignment?" with Mission Implausible

Transcript

"Do You Accept This Assignment?" with Mission Implausible · Fake Doctors, Real Friends with Zach and Donald

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Deb are you recording?
• 0:01
  Speaker 2: For Fox's sake? Just stop talking about your willies? Okay,
• 0:04
  Speaker 2: I even talked about my penis yet, deb Wu Tang forever,
• 0:08
  Speaker 2: Wu Tang forever. Yeah, all right, a given.
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: Are you ready to start the podcast?
• 0:15
  Speaker 2: We haven't started yet.
• 0:17
  Speaker 1: Well, this is it's probably started. Daniel always decides when
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: he starts putting on the show. But I think this
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: is all good. Content is great, so too.
• 0:25
  Speaker 2: How are you?
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: You know? What I realized is that you've got a
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: big birthday coming up. I've been thinking I had. I
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: just had a fucking genius idea what to get you,
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: and I'm very excited about it.
• 0:38
  Speaker 2: Does it have something to do with that motion animation?
• 0:42
  Speaker 2: Let's say, a motion control rig?
• 0:45
  Speaker 3: No?
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: Is that what you want?
• 0:47
  Speaker 2: No, I'm just saying it could be.
• 0:49
  Speaker 1: I don't think you'd use that.
• 0:50
  Speaker 2: You don't think I would use a motion control rig?
• 0:52
  Speaker 2: Are you kidding me? Don't your light in magic? I
• 0:55
  Speaker 2: know you guys are my friends. There's a mini motion
• 0:58
  Speaker 2: control rig that you that everybody has except for me.
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: What is it called?
• 1:04
  Speaker 2: It's the mini rig?
• 1:07
  Speaker 1: Would you really set that up and use it?
• 1:10
  Speaker 2: Yeah? For sure, Like all of the stuff that I do.
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: If I spend some fortunate amount of money on this
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: mini rig, and I come over your house and it's
• 1:17
  Speaker 1: in fucking cardboard boxes, and you're like, bro, come on outside,
• 1:21
  Speaker 1: I'm lighting a doobie. I'm gonna be so upset.
• 1:25
  Speaker 2: You would never have to worry about that with me.
• 1:27
  Speaker 2: This shit's so expensive. Look, this ship is so expensivebout.
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: How are you talking about? Like twenty grand more?
• 1:33
  Speaker 2: Yeah? Like that?
• 1:34
  Speaker 4: Wow?
• 1:35
  Speaker 1: What's I want to look it up? Yeah, look it up, Daniel.
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: It's it's the Many Many rigs. It's called Motion Control
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: Mini rig for Donald. Anyway, Daniel's figuring out how much
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: this rig costs. Because I love you and you are
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: turning fifty. I didn't really have twenty grand in my
• 1:52
  Speaker 1: budget for your birthday, but I do love you.
• 1:57
  Speaker 2: Well, you got Crystal horse.
• 2:00
  Speaker 1: I didn't get Oh that's funny, I got that conversation.
• 2:04
  Speaker 1: We did get the horse. We did get her. Oh
• 2:07
  Speaker 1: that's from our joint account. By the way, I sent
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: her a two hundred and fifty thousand dollars horse.
• 2:12
  Speaker 2: Then, yeah, I'm going to need some of that back
• 2:14
  Speaker 2: for this motion control rig.
• 2:16
  Speaker 1: All right, Well, Daniel's going to figure out how much
• 2:18
  Speaker 1: it costs. I probably won't spend twenty grand on you,
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: even though I love you so much. But what are
• 2:22
  Speaker 1: you doing doing? What are the plans?
• 2:25
  Speaker 5: You know?
• 2:26
  Speaker 1: Joell Daniel Donald has a fiftieth birthday coming up?
• 2:30
  Speaker 2: Is that what it is?
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: Fifty?
• 2:32
  Speaker 2: Yeah?
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: What's the dream?
• 2:34
  Speaker 5: You know?
• 2:35
  Speaker 2: I don't really have a dream for my fiftieth. I
• 2:38
  Speaker 2: thought the dream was a big ass party. I think
• 2:41
  Speaker 2: my parents are coming into town, which is really cool
• 2:43
  Speaker 2: and that'll be fun. But I don't really have a
• 2:46
  Speaker 2: dream for my fiftieth.
• 2:48
  Speaker 1: Why did you turn melancholic over?
• 2:49
  Speaker 2: But you got to make a dream.
• 2:51
  Speaker 6: We got to get a whiteboard, Yeah.
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: You had a whiteboard. This shit. We got to create something.
• 2:55
  Speaker 6: I don't like this attitude.
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: I don't like the attitude you like your shoulders slumped,
• 2:59
  Speaker 1: you got body?
• 3:01
  Speaker 2: Well, I don't got said. I don't got wifi's right now,
• 3:03
  Speaker 2: but I definitely am. I don't know, man, I don't
• 3:07
  Speaker 2: I'm I'm looking forward to turning fifty. I don't know
• 3:10
  Speaker 2: how I want to turn fifty in because I don't
• 3:12
  Speaker 2: know how. Uh, you know, anything's up for like after
• 3:16
  Speaker 2: Christa's party, there's no party that can be thrown now.
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: But if you don't need to go like that. Why
• 3:22
  Speaker 1: don't you do You couldn't. You couldn't make my party,
• 3:24
  Speaker 1: But why don't you do something small like I did?
• 3:26
  Speaker 1: I had twenty five people a meal at a restaurant.
• 3:29
  Speaker 1: You got, you get a private room? Like, why not
• 3:31
  Speaker 1: at least do that?
• 3:33
  Speaker 2: It's so not up to me.
• 3:37
  Speaker 1: I mean, Casey's planning it. You're allowed to weigh in
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: on your fiftieth.
• 3:41
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's true.
• 3:44
  Speaker 1: I don't know, man, you have a weird attitude about it.
• 3:47
  Speaker 1: It's like I like to.
• 3:48
  Speaker 2: Work on my I like to work on my birthday.
• 3:50
  Speaker 2: A lot of people don't like that. That's my goal
• 3:52
  Speaker 2: is working on my birthday always. My birthday is on
• 3:55
  Speaker 2: a weekend this year, so.
• 3:57
  Speaker 1: Okay, well that's not gonna happen. Is the only song
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: need to plan something? Or is Casey planning something?
• 4:02
  Speaker 2: No, it's the onus. Isn't on anyone to plan anything?
• 4:05
  Speaker 1: Well, I'm your bestie and you got sad body when
• 4:08
  Speaker 1: you talk about your fiftieth, so I need to step up.
• 4:12
  Speaker 2: Well you don't need to step up. I yeah, you guys,
• 4:16
  Speaker 2: get on the phone. I don't think there's anything. I
• 4:18
  Speaker 2: don't think anything's happening.
• 4:19
  Speaker 1: That's not acceptable. But she's a really good wife. I
• 4:22
  Speaker 1: bet she might be cooking something up.
• 4:24
  Speaker 2: No, I know my family's coming in. She got, like,
• 4:26
  Speaker 2: you know, my mom and dad are coming to visit
• 4:29
  Speaker 2: and everything, Like.
• 4:29
  Speaker 1: Why don't we throw up at least, at the very
• 4:32
  Speaker 1: least a dinner with all the people you love? What
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: do you really want? If you could have anything? I
• 4:38
  Speaker 1: don't mean, I don't mean an easy rig. We'll figure
• 4:40
  Speaker 1: out how much a mini rig is. But like if
• 4:42
  Speaker 1: you get for the party, what could the party be your.
• 4:45
  Speaker 2: Dream or you're asking me for a dream party. I
• 4:47
  Speaker 2: don't have a dream party. But if I could really
• 4:50
  Speaker 2: have something, yes, a budget for a stop motion short,
• 4:55
  Speaker 2: that would be I want to be working.
• 4:57
  Speaker 6: Donald said, is to you put it to work? And okay,
• 5:02
  Speaker 6: I feel the vibes.
• 5:03
  Speaker 1: You don't even want to party. You'd like everyone to
• 5:05
  Speaker 1: contribute a budget for you to make a short film?
• 5:08
  Speaker 2: Why not? Fifty? I realized I don't necessarily like to
• 5:13
  Speaker 2: get drunk, so when I get drunk.
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: Now, why is to be drunk? Bro I didn't want
• 5:18
  Speaker 1: to get drunk either, So I had a brunch. I
• 5:19
  Speaker 1: did a twenty five person brunch. No one got I
• 5:23
  Speaker 1: mean there was booze for people that wanted mimosas or anybody.
• 5:25
  Speaker 1: It wasn't a drunk thing, right.
• 5:27
  Speaker 2: I don't know, bro, I don't know why I got
• 5:29
  Speaker 2: all melancholic. I don't know why I got all what
• 5:31
  Speaker 2: about paintball? That's what I really wanted to do? See
• 5:34
  Speaker 2: this so hot?
• 5:35
  Speaker 1: Man cares? God, you're such a fucking ere right now.
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: I don't know who paintball? Paintball?
• 5:41
  Speaker 2: I would love to go.
• 5:42
  Speaker 1: I'm going to take your mom out with that.
• 5:44
  Speaker 2: I know, lace her. I don't think my mom would
• 5:48
  Speaker 2: make it.
• 5:48
  Speaker 1: Would Shirley play paintball?
• 5:50
  Speaker 2: Hell no, she'd stay back. She'd be like, oh, you guys,
• 5:52
  Speaker 2: go ahead.
• 5:53
  Speaker 1: What if what if we posted her up in like
• 5:55
  Speaker 1: a sniper position?
• 5:57
  Speaker 2: She'd be like, you guys, go ahead, I'm mistake at
• 6:00
  Speaker 2: the house.
• 6:02
  Speaker 1: What if we Sureley likes an occasional bit of ganja, Right,
• 6:06
  Speaker 1: I don't know.
• 6:07
  Speaker 2: I caught my mom smoking weed once. It was the
• 6:08
  Speaker 2: most awkward moment ever because she was like, she was
• 6:12
  Speaker 2: smoking weed and she didn't want nobody like it was
• 6:15
  Speaker 2: she was smoking, and it was at the end of
• 6:17
  Speaker 2: a blunt and she was smoking. First of all, she
• 6:19
  Speaker 2: was smoking a blunt and I was like, what the
• 6:23
  Speaker 2: fuck is going on? And she was just finished.
• 6:25
  Speaker 4: She was like.
• 6:28
  Speaker 2: Getting it out, like trying, and I'm like, what the fuck.
• 6:31
  Speaker 2: You might as well just finish the ship now, like
• 6:34
  Speaker 2: why are you trying to hide?
• 6:36
  Speaker 1: Funny?
• 6:37
  Speaker 2: So what she wanted to get that extra.
• 6:40
  Speaker 1: My wish for your birthday is that we give Shirley
• 6:43
  Speaker 1: a blunt and a sniper position at the people.
• 6:46
  Speaker 2: No no, no, yeah, no no no no no.
• 6:49
  Speaker 1: No, Daniel, Daniel's in New York. Joelle, you would come
• 6:53
  Speaker 1: to paintball.
• 6:55
  Speaker 6: Yeah, and take that sniper position with the blood if
• 6:57
  Speaker 6: it's still being offered.
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: Let's right, that's all right. If your mom's not going
• 7:03
  Speaker 1: to take the blunts niner position, can Joel have that?
• 7:07
  Speaker 2: Absolutely? But let's go play paper. I mean, let we
• 7:10
  Speaker 2: could go play paintball.
• 7:11
  Speaker 1: That was all right. That's one thing I worked out good.
• 7:13
  Speaker 1: That's on the list. By the way, Glendale, I passed.
• 7:16
  Speaker 1: It has a laser tag still they got old school
• 7:19
  Speaker 1: laser tags. So fine, it's a really cool. Have you
• 7:22
  Speaker 1: been there with you Joey.
• 7:27
  Speaker 6: Sixth birthday party there in Glendale.
• 7:30
  Speaker 1: I just keep driving by it and I'm like, I
• 7:32
  Speaker 1: can't believe someone's top.
• 7:34
  Speaker 2: How big is the one in Glendale, because there's one
• 7:36
  Speaker 2: in Sherman Oaks that is uh, you take the kids
• 7:40
  Speaker 2: for that one, and it's a lot of fun for
• 7:42
  Speaker 2: the kids, but not necessarily for the adult.
• 7:45
  Speaker 1: I want to do.
• 7:46
  Speaker 2: I have been to multiple laser tags.
• 7:49
  Speaker 1: Oh all right, so wait, Daniel, did you find out
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: how much the mini rig costs?
• 7:54
  Speaker 7: I still can't find exactly what you're talking about. There's
• 7:56
  Speaker 7: lots of motion control rigs, but like, I don't know
• 7:58
  Speaker 7: the exact model yourself.
• 8:00
  Speaker 2: Here's the thing. It's an old rig and there the
• 8:02
  Speaker 2: dude that makes it only makes a few of them
• 8:04
  Speaker 2: every year. Well, he's one of those finicky people too,
• 8:09
  Speaker 2: so like when you get on the phone with them,
• 8:11
  Speaker 2: even after you've you know, struck the deal, he's like, well,
• 8:14
  Speaker 2: I'm making a bunch for this company right now, and
• 8:16
  Speaker 2: if there's one left over for you, I'll call you.
• 8:18
  Speaker 2: But I want to warn you. This is about thirty grand.
• 8:21
  Speaker 2: And you're like, yeah, okay, I get that, Sure.
• 8:23
  Speaker 1: I still want to I know it's thirty grand, but
• 8:25
  Speaker 1: here's my question. Thirty grand might be like the premiere version.
• 8:30
  Speaker 1: What if you got like.
• 8:31
  Speaker 2: A Siah No, no, no, this is the only version
• 8:33
  Speaker 2: of this. It's a ten it's not even ten feet.
• 8:36
  Speaker 2: It's like a really tiny The track is like maybe
• 8:39
  Speaker 2: four feet and it's up. You put it on a table.
• 8:43
  Speaker 2: The rig itself is it looks old school. It comes
• 8:46
  Speaker 2: with an arm and an arm comes out and you
• 8:49
  Speaker 2: put your you mount your you know, your camera on
• 8:52
  Speaker 2: it and it it's a tiny rig. It's like a table.
• 8:55
  Speaker 1: And for those that don't know, this would enable you
• 8:58
  Speaker 1: to while you're doing stuff, have the camera move and
• 9:02
  Speaker 1: Dolly and crane up in the world of your figures.
• 9:05
  Speaker 2: Right right, Well, what I could do is I could
• 9:07
  Speaker 2: do a shot with the camera doing it, and then
• 9:11
  Speaker 2: I would remove all of the figures and redo the
• 9:14
  Speaker 2: shot with just the camera doing it. That way, I
• 9:16
  Speaker 2: could superimpose it all or with spaceships do flybys.
• 9:20
  Speaker 1: But you're not open to accepting a lesser expensive version.
• 9:24
  Speaker 2: There is no lesser expensive version.
• 9:26
  Speaker 1: I'm sure there is. That's not true. You're saying like
• 9:28
  Speaker 1: you're basically saying, hey, man, I want to Porsche, And
• 9:31
  Speaker 1: I'm saying, hey, what if I got you, like a
• 9:33
  Speaker 1: really sick Miata and you're like, no Porsche or nothing.
• 9:36
  Speaker 2: You must you must think I'm crazy. I would never
• 9:39
  Speaker 2: say no to a Mayata. I would never say no
• 9:41
  Speaker 2: to any car if it was offered to me. Like,
• 9:43
  Speaker 2: that's what I don't understand.
• 9:45
  Speaker 1: So what I'm telling you is you're saying I want
• 9:47
  Speaker 1: this thing, right and it's thirty grand, And I'm saying, bro,
• 9:51
  Speaker 1: just let me finish my sentence. And I'm saying, I'll
• 9:53
  Speaker 1: bet with my connections. If I knew Recon, I could
• 9:56
  Speaker 1: probably find a sick version that's not everything you want,
• 9:59
  Speaker 1: but maybe ten grand. And you're like, I don't want
• 10:02
  Speaker 1: that ship.
• 10:03
  Speaker 2: I don't think there's a ten grand version of this
• 10:06
  Speaker 2: is my point.
• 10:07
  Speaker 1: You're gonna Daniel's gonna spend the rest of the episode
• 10:09
  Speaker 1: searching one. Al right here, all right, I'm gonna go
• 10:15
  Speaker 1: a different route then for your president already, I have
• 10:17
  Speaker 1: a good idea.
• 10:18
  Speaker 2: Yo. Do we really got the CIA up on the
• 10:20
  Speaker 2: show today?
• 10:21
  Speaker 1: Yeah, we have two CIA agents. We got a lot
• 10:23
  Speaker 1: of questions for them. But before we get to them,
• 10:26
  Speaker 1: I wanted to tell you that I finally watched Dune too.
• 10:30
  Speaker 1: I'm so embarrassed that I didn't go see this movie
• 10:34
  Speaker 1: in the theater.
• 10:37
  Speaker 7: So good.
• 10:38
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it is a masterpiece. I mean, it is the
• 10:41
  Speaker 1: most is that the prettiest sci fi movie ever.
• 10:45
  Speaker 2: Gorgeous. It's up there, bro, it's up there.
• 10:48
  Speaker 1: Maybe we should say spoiler alert spoiler alert skip skip
• 10:52
  Speaker 1: skip like a couple of minutes, because we're gonna talk
• 10:54
  Speaker 1: about Dune two for a second.
• 10:56
  Speaker 2: The only thing that I didn't like was the end
• 10:58
  Speaker 2: when he's having the conversation with the emperor. It was
• 11:01
  Speaker 2: weird how it was lit on him. But then you
• 11:05
  Speaker 2: pan back and then there's a bunch of same type
• 11:08
  Speaker 2: of situations all over, and it's like, well, how did
• 11:10
  Speaker 2: everybody hear him and hear this conversation? If the whole
• 11:15
  Speaker 2: you know, if not only not only the planet, but
• 11:18
  Speaker 2: everybody's you know, there's a lot of people listening at
• 11:20
  Speaker 2: the end of him taking control of it. Right.
• 11:23
  Speaker 1: Well, but okay, that's a that's that's a that's nippicking.
• 11:26
  Speaker 1: Let's talk about the production design, the trustume design, the cinematography.
• 11:31
  Speaker 1: I mean, my jaw was on the floor. I mean,
• 11:33
  Speaker 1: every single costume is more mind blowing than the next.
• 11:37
  Speaker 1: If that's how what movie could possibly come along and
• 11:41
  Speaker 1: beat that movie for production design, cinematography, costumes?
• 11:44
  Speaker 2: Oh, I'm sure, I'm sure you could find some simple
• 11:47
  Speaker 2: movie that could do that. Also, though, meant with beauty
• 11:50
  Speaker 2: and touch and you know what I mean, like visual effects.
• 11:54
  Speaker 1: There's not a there's.
• 11:55
  Speaker 2: Visual effects, visual effects.
• 11:57
  Speaker 1: I mean I never see a movie before where I
• 12:01
  Speaker 1: went like it's because I'm in the business. I can
• 12:03
  Speaker 1: spot the shots. I usually I go, wow, that's pretty
• 12:06
  Speaker 1: cool for I know what they did, and that's cool.
• 12:08
  Speaker 1: It looks good this movie. There's not a single shot
• 12:12
  Speaker 1: that doesn't look real.
• 12:15
  Speaker 2: That's true. I think I had a big budget you
• 12:19
  Speaker 2: render something.
• 12:20
  Speaker 1: It was one hundred and sixty five million dollars. Wow,
• 12:24
  Speaker 1: but it looks like it.
• 12:25
  Speaker 2: Man, it looks like yeah, but you know it is.
• 12:28
  Speaker 1: By the way, let's talk about the actors for a second.
• 12:30
  Speaker 1: Obviously I'm biased and flows beautiful and amazing. Every single
• 12:36
  Speaker 1: actor in that movie. I was stating there going is
• 12:39
  Speaker 1: the best at their type. They do it whether you're
• 12:43
  Speaker 1: walking or your Chalomey or your Rebecca what's her name?
• 12:49
  Speaker 1: I love her.
• 12:50
  Speaker 2: She's amazing.
• 12:51
  Speaker 1: Rebecca Ferguson, you are the best of that type that
• 12:55
  Speaker 1: is the most ball or cast.
• 12:58
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you got Zendaya the best of that type as
• 13:01
  Speaker 2: a single person. I'm just saying, Man, I told you
• 13:06
  Speaker 2: about this before that movie's fucking phenomenal.
• 13:09
  Speaker 1: I really am embarrassed I didn't see it on a
• 13:11
  Speaker 1: big screen. I hope that one day they reprojected so
• 13:14
  Speaker 1: I can go see it, But I h I did
• 13:18
  Speaker 1: have to turn the subtitles on at a certain point.
• 13:20
  Speaker 1: I know, like the young kids do that these days,
• 13:22
  Speaker 1: but I couldn't understand at certain points what the fuck
• 13:25
  Speaker 1: anybody was saying? No it's and it's also like there's
• 13:30
  Speaker 1: so much like grunting and yelling. You're like, wait, what
• 13:33
  Speaker 1: did he just grunt? And there's also so many of
• 13:35
  Speaker 1: the languages right, and you're like, wait was that English
• 13:38
  Speaker 1: or was that in the language? And that was that
• 13:39
  Speaker 1: a key plot point? That was just grunted? You know?
• 13:42
  Speaker 1: So I realized like, oh dude, let me try subtitles.
• 13:45
  Speaker 1: I really don't usually don't watch movies with subtitles, but
• 13:48
  Speaker 1: for Dune too, it did help because you're like, Okay,
• 13:50
  Speaker 1: that was just it'll just say, like nonsensical grunting, and
• 13:54
  Speaker 1: you're like, okay, good, I didn't miss anything that.
• 13:56
  Speaker 2: What's really crazy is that you can see where you
• 13:58
  Speaker 2: can see where George Luke is got Star Wars. You
• 14:02
  Speaker 2: can see where like there's so many different things in
• 14:05
  Speaker 2: this movie where it's like, Wow, a lot of people
• 14:08
  Speaker 2: took from this novel and.
• 14:11
  Speaker 1: I would imagine that, and I would imagine George Martin. Right,
• 14:14
  Speaker 1: there's a lot of Game of Thrones and this.
• 14:17
  Speaker 2: Dude, there's everything in it. Dude, there's everything in it.
• 14:21
  Speaker 7: Why are you laughing, Dannal, It's just George R. George
• 14:24
  Speaker 7: Martin is the producer for the Beatles. So when you
• 14:26
  Speaker 7: said that, I was like, oh, George, Yes, George George R. R.
• 14:32
  Speaker 1: Martin's books I assumed came out were written after Dune,
• 14:35
  Speaker 1: well after Okay, well he was definitely inspired by this.
• 14:39
  Speaker 6: Yeah, the sandwriting, the sandworm writing scene, amazing, Just how
• 14:46
  Speaker 6: that scene in theater?
• 14:47
  Speaker 1: It wasn't that in Jedi? Didn't he put a sand
• 14:51
  Speaker 1: what's the Jedi writing?
• 14:53
  Speaker 2: What's the thing?
• 14:55
  Speaker 1: Isn't the starlac as total bite off?
• 14:57
  Speaker 2: This kind of where the bite comes in is there's
• 15:01
  Speaker 2: a lot of a bite where the chosen one, you
• 15:04
  Speaker 2: know what I mean. There's so many things that are
• 15:07
  Speaker 2: I mean, all comes from you could say it's from
• 15:10
  Speaker 2: prophecies from before, mythologies from before, of courses, but like
• 15:15
  Speaker 2: a lot of the stories that come out of doom.
• 15:17
  Speaker 2: You can see in the first the episode one through six,
• 15:23
  Speaker 2: it's a lot of that.
• 15:24
  Speaker 1: Of course, and the Force, I mean it's the Force
• 15:27
  Speaker 1: is all over this, like he can foresee the pass
• 15:29
  Speaker 1: and he sees the way.
• 15:32
  Speaker 2: And he has control over people, and he can Jedi
• 15:34
  Speaker 2: mind trick people, and he can do all of these
• 15:36
  Speaker 2: things like one of the powers. In the first one,
• 15:38
  Speaker 2: him and his mom are captured and she's like, Yo,
• 15:40
  Speaker 2: we can't get away because this motherfucker right here's death.
• 15:44
  Speaker 2: I need you to work it so that you can
• 15:45
  Speaker 2: get all these other cats to talk kill him. They
• 15:49
  Speaker 2: got to kill him.
• 15:50
  Speaker 1: What about Sorry, this one moment it's a spoiler. If
• 15:53
  Speaker 1: you haven't turned off yet, skip thirty seconds. What about
• 15:56
  Speaker 1: when they cut to the future and his sister is
• 15:59
  Speaker 1: Anya tailored and she's got a teared fucking dripping down
• 16:02
  Speaker 1: her face and you know she's gonna be in three Yeah, Oh,
• 16:06
  Speaker 1: I was fucking.
• 16:07
  Speaker 2: Good, dude. This shit is fire man. The Dune goes
• 16:10
  Speaker 2: even way further into the future than you ever would imagine,
• 16:13
  Speaker 2: like light years into like this planet all of a
• 16:16
  Speaker 2: sudden becomes habitable with fucking trains and shit on it.
• 16:19
  Speaker 2: It's fucking crazy dude.
• 16:21
  Speaker 1: Well, I guess I know that Florence has a big
• 16:24
  Speaker 1: part in three and uh, that's going to be so amazing.
• 16:28
  Speaker 1: I'm in one ticket sold. I will not miss three projected.
• 16:32
  Speaker 1: All right, Joelle, tell us about these guests a little
• 16:34
  Speaker 1: bit before they come in. They are they are CIA
• 16:37
  Speaker 1: agents retired, yes, and they have a podcast now and
• 16:42
  Speaker 1: and explain to me exactly what they do. It sounds fascinating.
• 16:45
  Speaker 1: I have so many CIA questions.
• 16:47
  Speaker 6: But yeah, So John Siffer and Jerry O'Shea are their names,
• 16:51
  Speaker 6: And I guess their job at the CIA used to
• 16:53
  Speaker 6: be that they would create fake conspiracies and like try
• 16:57
  Speaker 6: to work backwards and break down and understand and how
• 17:00
  Speaker 6: like a spread of conspiracies and how they I packed
• 17:04
  Speaker 6: like cultures and stuff. And so now they started a company.
• 17:09
  Speaker 6: They've co founded a company together called Spycraft Entertainment where
• 17:12
  Speaker 6: they consult with they I think they also they developed
• 17:16
  Speaker 6: their own films in house and stuff. But they are
• 17:18
  Speaker 6: also consultants on big projects where the CIA's history is
• 17:24
  Speaker 6: involved or people are trying to use agents and spycraft
• 17:27
  Speaker 6: and so they sort of like good. Yeah, So I'm
• 17:29
  Speaker 6: excited to talk to them. There I've heard, listened to
• 17:31
  Speaker 6: a couple of pods. They've done their funny their guy friends.
• 17:34
  Speaker 6: So I was like, I think these guys would be
• 17:36
  Speaker 6: a good fit for zecond Donald.
• 17:37
  Speaker 1: So well, let them in. They're probably in already because
• 17:40
  Speaker 1: they're CIA agents. They've been they've been there, ready to go,
• 17:45
  Speaker 1: all right, bring them in. They've been in the they've
• 17:47
  Speaker 1: been in this riverside studio the whole time. And Donald.
• 17:59
  Speaker 2: Made about a bunch of.
• 18:06
  Speaker 1: Stories.
• 18:10
  Speaker 8: So YadA, Oh there they are, Hey, John, I j Hello, gentlemen.
• 18:25
  Speaker 4: Hi Jens, gentlemen, you've made your first mistake. Man, we
• 18:29
  Speaker 4: let you guys in the room.
• 18:33
  Speaker 2: Poor judge of character. Gentlemen. Oh god, I'm excited to
• 18:37
  Speaker 2: see you. We have so many questions.
• 18:39
  Speaker 1: For Yes, we have so many question.
• 18:42
  Speaker 2: Like are aliens real? Or is that a conspiracy?
• 18:45
  Speaker 1: Give us the scoop on aliens. Let's just start off
• 18:47
  Speaker 1: the bat.
• 18:48
  Speaker 4: Let's just start out with we can either confirm nor deny. Right,
• 18:51
  Speaker 4: We're going to answer every question. That's going to be
• 18:53
  Speaker 4: our response.
• 18:53
  Speaker 1: So let's real.
• 18:54
  Speaker 2: That's how you start, how you started conspiracy theory?
• 18:57
  Speaker 1: Obviously, Wait, are you guys when you go on podcasts?
• 19:00
  Speaker 1: I know I want to talk about what you guys
• 19:02
  Speaker 1: are up to, obviously, but people must ask you the questions,
• 19:07
  Speaker 1: don and I want to ask you so badly, and
• 19:09
  Speaker 1: you're going to say, we can't. We can't answer that.
• 19:12
  Speaker 4: No, you'll be surprised. Now we can talk a lot.
• 19:15
  Speaker 1: Okay, Now, during the pandemic, aliens seem like they were
• 19:18
  Speaker 1: coming in hard. And I remember something. I remember. I
• 19:22
  Speaker 1: remember some funny memes, some funny memes with people like
• 19:25
  Speaker 1: not now, aliens, we really fucked with the pandemic, can
• 19:31
  Speaker 1: you please come back in like a year? And then
• 19:35
  Speaker 1: there was some stuff. Then there was some stuff in
• 19:37
  Speaker 1: Congress like really looking at at any evidence. I saw
• 19:40
  Speaker 1: this fighter jet footage. I'm sure everybody saw that was.
• 19:43
  Speaker 2: Increasing what they pulled out and uh was in Mexico
• 19:47
  Speaker 2: City with the freaking uh.
• 19:51
  Speaker 1: Well that was clearly fake. But there was a fighter
• 19:54
  Speaker 1: jet thing that really stuck with me. Where this where
• 19:56
  Speaker 1: this fighter jet pilot was just freaking out about that
• 20:00
  Speaker 1: he was seeing. And so I wonder what you guys.
• 20:02
  Speaker 1: Sorry if this is our first question for CIA agents,
• 20:05
  Speaker 1: but we wanted about aliens.
• 20:08
  Speaker 4: Well, first of all, John, do you want to say
• 20:10
  Speaker 4: them right on? Agents? And they can talk a little
• 20:13
  Speaker 4: bit the show why we're doing this and all that.
• 20:16
  Speaker 4: I say that, yeah, that would be a good way
• 20:17
  Speaker 4: to kick it off.
• 20:18
  Speaker 9: Yeah, FBI people are called FBI agents, but in the
• 20:21
  Speaker 9: CIA were called officers. Our sources we run, So we
• 20:25
  Speaker 9: are in an espionage business and we live overseas and
• 20:27
  Speaker 9: run spies and sources and we call them agents or
• 20:31
  Speaker 9: sources or assets.
• 20:32
  Speaker 1: And so assets.
• 20:33
  Speaker 9: Okay, so right, But yeah, in terms of of aliens, sure,
• 20:37
  Speaker 9: let's talk about did we have the podcast Mission Implausible
• 20:41
  Speaker 9: And we did an episode with Michael ian Black, the
• 20:43
  Speaker 9: comedian who apparently is very into the whole alien thing.
• 20:47
  Speaker 9: And frankly, I had no idea how many people truly
• 20:49
  Speaker 9: are into the whole thing. And there are quite up
• 20:52
  Speaker 9: to date on things. There is a office at the
• 20:56
  Speaker 9: Department of Defense at the Pentagon who studies these things.
• 21:00
  Speaker 9: The number of senators and congressmen have been pushing to
• 21:02
  Speaker 9: provide money to get to the US government to put
• 21:05
  Speaker 9: out what it knows about unidentified flying objects or they
• 21:10
  Speaker 9: call them UAPs now whatever that whatever that is, unidentified
• 21:14
  Speaker 9: aerial phenomenon.
• 21:15
  Speaker 2: Or something like that.
• 21:18
  Speaker 9: And so there's great interest in it.
• 21:19
  Speaker 4: But but but let me set the stage for this.
• 21:22
  Speaker 4: So the Mission Implausible, which is the podcast we're doing.
• 21:27
  Speaker 4: We John and I as former agency office. We've rolled
• 21:31
  Speaker 4: our cover back so we can say that now we
• 21:33
  Speaker 4: were conspirators. We did conspiracies, but little ones, like a
• 21:38
  Speaker 4: conspiracy like I work for the State Department, or if
• 21:42
  Speaker 4: you're going to approach you North Korean missile scientists, she
• 21:45
  Speaker 4: can't say, hey, I'm a CIA guy. You have to
• 21:47
  Speaker 4: come in and say I am. I am a German
• 21:50
  Speaker 4: businessman and O vish to warcris you y'ah. You know,
• 21:52
  Speaker 4: we will make money to guess, and so we make
• 21:55
  Speaker 4: little conspiracies and we're looking at like big conspiracies, and
• 22:00
  Speaker 4: we're talking about like we've done conspiracies. We know how
• 22:03
  Speaker 4: they how they don't work, mostly because most of the
• 22:05
  Speaker 4: times they fucked up. They're smaller the better, and so
• 22:08
  Speaker 4: we're looking at bigger conspiracies. So we're probably going to
• 22:10
  Speaker 4: talk now about aliens and you know, all these big conspiracies,
• 22:14
  Speaker 4: and we'll give you sort of like what it's really
• 22:16
  Speaker 4: like inside of the agency and like how like we
• 22:19
  Speaker 4: see the world really working. So bring on the aliens.
• 22:23
  Speaker 4: There are aliens, by the way, but they're they're Guatemalans.
• 22:27
  Speaker 2: Aliens always come to America. What's that about? Like, how
• 22:31
  Speaker 2: come America as always the number one spot you don't
• 22:34
  Speaker 2: have to hear about Russia and saying listen, we got
• 22:36
  Speaker 2: the aliens over here.
• 22:37
  Speaker 1: Man, I'm sensing you guys. Obviously aliens are probably not
• 22:43
  Speaker 1: under the purview of the CIA, but we just thought
• 22:46
  Speaker 1: you might want to share some secrets with us.
• 22:48
  Speaker 2: If there's any stories that you have, we'd love to
• 22:50
  Speaker 2: hear them.
• 22:50
  Speaker 4: We'd love to tell you, but there's no way we
• 22:53
  Speaker 4: could kill both you and your audience. It's listening in
• 22:55
  Speaker 4: if you tell the truth, right, you know.
• 22:58
  Speaker 9: Well, Tonny Donald, you bring that up, And that's one
• 23:01
  Speaker 9: of the questions. We thought we were being clever, and
• 23:03
  Speaker 9: we were asking Michael Ian Black because he's a big
• 23:05
  Speaker 9: UFO follower. We don't know much about it at all,
• 23:08
  Speaker 9: and uh I said the same thing, like, well, you know,
• 23:11
  Speaker 9: why are they all come in here? Like if if this,
• 23:13
  Speaker 9: if there's a phenomena out there that comes to earth,
• 23:15
  Speaker 9: why what does the US government have to do with it?
• 23:17
  Speaker 9: Why they'll come to the United States? And he schooled
• 23:20
  Speaker 9: me like, oh, it's not true. They're all over and
• 23:22
  Speaker 9: these other places have reported things, and so.
• 23:25
  Speaker 1: So we'll have to have Michael ian black On to
• 23:27
  Speaker 1: ask about aliens. Yeah, let me ask you guys a question.
• 23:31
  Speaker 1: I would imagine a lot of people in our audience
• 23:33
  Speaker 1: would want to know. Is it seems like a very cool,
• 23:36
  Speaker 1: exciting job. How do how does the CIA recruit people?
• 23:40
  Speaker 1: What is what is the what are the criteria for
• 23:43
  Speaker 1: becoming a CIA What did you say the term was
• 23:46
  Speaker 1: an agent officer?
• 23:48
  Speaker 4: I mean obviously good looks and charm, right, I mean
• 23:51
  Speaker 4: that goes without saying it's not true.
• 23:52
  Speaker 2: Yeah, well charm has definitely got to be a part
• 23:55
  Speaker 2: of it, right.
• 23:58
  Speaker 9: Oh yeah, well it depends. So the CI, you know,
• 24:01
  Speaker 9: that is the nation's intelligence organization. It's part of a
• 24:04
  Speaker 9: larger intelligence community that includes the Parmer Defense and then
• 24:08
  Speaker 9: essay in all those places. But so the CIA has
• 24:11
  Speaker 9: a big analytic codre. So the people that are looking
• 24:13
  Speaker 9: for there are almost like, you know, university professors or
• 24:17
  Speaker 9: experts on things.
• 24:18
  Speaker 1: I mean, I mean people in the field undercover the
• 24:20
  Speaker 1: cool part the James Bond shit.
• 24:23
  Speaker 2: Right, So that's what we did.
• 24:24
  Speaker 9: We spent our career overseas living in embassies undercover. In
• 24:28
  Speaker 9: our cases, we pretended to be State Department diplomats while
• 24:30
  Speaker 9: we're overseas, and what they're looking for. In fact, nowadays
• 24:33
  Speaker 9: most people just apply online on to the website. But
• 24:37
  Speaker 9: what they're looking for is a variety of things. Obviously,
• 24:39
  Speaker 9: people who are interested in foreign cultures, that like people
• 24:43
  Speaker 9: and like foreigners, and developing relationships, because that's what we do,
• 24:46
  Speaker 9: is we meet people overseas and try to develop a
• 24:50
  Speaker 9: set of trust with them so that they might actually
• 24:53
  Speaker 9: have secrets that they're willing to share with us. So
• 24:56
  Speaker 9: they're looking for, you, people who like foreign cultures, that
• 24:58
  Speaker 9: are interested in living overseas, that are pretty good at
• 25:00
  Speaker 9: speaking languages, that are interested in the issues of the day,
• 25:03
  Speaker 9: that right well, but also that have you know, they're
• 25:07
  Speaker 9: comfortable operating on the streets under potential surveillance. A spatial
• 25:12
  Speaker 9: awareness to determine whether they're under surveillance. Used to be
• 25:16
  Speaker 9: when the CI first started. There was from the OSS
• 25:19
  Speaker 9: days in World War Two. The idea was you're looking
• 25:22
  Speaker 9: for essentially a PhD who could win a bar fight.
• 25:25
  Speaker 2: That is what they used to say.
• 25:27
  Speaker 4: That's cool, So let's talk about the mission of the CIA, right,
• 25:30
  Speaker 4: because you your people into what they need to do.
• 25:34
  Speaker 4: So if the US government has a problem, right, or
• 25:37
  Speaker 4: any democratic goverment it has an issue, it looks to
• 25:41
  Speaker 4: this toolkit, right, and it's like, oh, this is an
• 25:42
  Speaker 4: issue with the military should do this, or the diplomat
• 25:46
  Speaker 4: should do this, or treasury should do this. But when
• 25:49
  Speaker 4: it has an intractable issue that nobody knows how to solve, right,
• 25:54
  Speaker 4: like you know, Iranian missiles or a North Korean nuclear program,
• 25:58
  Speaker 4: or you know, how do you get inside the the Kremlin?
• 26:01
  Speaker 4: Nobody knows how to do that, so they turn to
• 26:03
  Speaker 4: the CIA. So we get the hardest jobs that no
• 26:07
  Speaker 4: one else knows how to do. So we recruit people
• 26:10
  Speaker 4: who are able to deal with ambiguity, able to deal
• 26:14
  Speaker 4: with failure because a lot of what we do is
• 26:16
  Speaker 4: like I don't know if you sposed to swear in
• 26:18
  Speaker 4: the show, but really hard, right, it's.
• 26:20
  Speaker 2: Really fucking hard. We don't know.
• 26:23
  Speaker 4: And the thing is we don't know how to do
• 26:25
  Speaker 4: it either, but we work to figure it out. So
• 26:28
  Speaker 4: we're people who, like often are outside the box rule abiders,
• 26:33
  Speaker 4: but we understand you know that we can't. We got
• 26:37
  Speaker 4: to think outside of the box. So the FBI is
• 26:40
  Speaker 4: law enforcement, they're cops, and we're essentially robbers, right. We
• 26:44
  Speaker 4: spionage is a legal yea.
• 26:46
  Speaker 2: So it's all fair in love and war. Baby, Let's
• 26:50
  Speaker 2: take a break.
• 26:50
  Speaker 1: We'll be right back after these fine words that. So
• 27:00
  Speaker 1: you're you're undercover and then you're trying to recruit just
• 27:04
  Speaker 1: from watching TV shows, you're trying to recruit assets, right,
• 27:08
  Speaker 1: So who will feed you information? Sometimes they know they're
• 27:12
  Speaker 1: helping you for some reason, and sometimes they don't know
• 27:14
  Speaker 1: they're helping you.
• 27:14
  Speaker 9: Right, Almost always know because what you want that person
• 27:18
  Speaker 9: to be motivated to do what they want to do.
• 27:20
  Speaker 9: What we want to do is develop a relationship of
• 27:23
  Speaker 9: trust with a source of someone who has accessed the
• 27:25
  Speaker 9: secrets that the US government can't get any other way,
• 27:28
  Speaker 9: and then have that person work with us over time
• 27:31
  Speaker 9: and maybe move up in their bureocracy so that eventually
• 27:33
  Speaker 9: we have a very senior person who's providing us the
• 27:36
  Speaker 9: secrets that presidents need to know. And so you know,
• 27:39
  Speaker 9: there's occasions that would work on terrorism or something that
• 27:42
  Speaker 9: the person might not know who we are, Like Jerry said,
• 27:44
  Speaker 9: we might pretend to be a German or pretend to
• 27:46
  Speaker 9: be something else, but usually our sources know exactly what
• 27:49
  Speaker 9: they're doing.
• 27:50
  Speaker 4: Right, So I'll just give you my personal journey. Right,
• 27:55
  Speaker 4: this might surprise your audience. Like I'm an ex hippie, right,
• 27:57
  Speaker 4: you see my age, but like I was, even those
• 28:00
  Speaker 4: hippies are anymore, I know, I.
• 28:01
  Speaker 2: Know, I know we do of a certain age, right,
• 28:06
  Speaker 2: a certain age.
• 28:06
  Speaker 4: But I like I lived in Europe. I worked on
• 28:09
  Speaker 4: a you know, it's construction site. I worked as a
• 28:12
  Speaker 4: waiter in Germany. I smuggled cars into Iran. I got
• 28:15
  Speaker 4: thrown into jail and around for smuggling cars. For a
• 28:17
  Speaker 4: little bit. I was smoking dope in Afghanistan. I was
• 28:20
  Speaker 4: a disciple in the Seguld and temple hiked in the Himalayas.
• 28:24
  Speaker 4: I like hitchhiked through Africa, lived in the Middle East,
• 28:27
  Speaker 4: lived in Mexico. And then I like I got to
• 28:30
  Speaker 4: grow up, right, I mean, got a feed.
• 28:31
  Speaker 2: With this was all about being I thought this was
• 28:36
  Speaker 2: before then I went.
• 28:38
  Speaker 4: Then then I showed up in grad school, like I
• 28:41
  Speaker 4: got to you know, and degree in international business management. Right,
• 28:44
  Speaker 4: I gotta feed myself. And and I got a letter
• 28:47
  Speaker 4: in the mail and just said, hey, basically, you're a
• 28:49
  Speaker 4: weird dude. We've heard about you from a professor I
• 28:52
  Speaker 4: think narked on me and they said hey, and I thought, well,
• 28:55
  Speaker 4: there's no way they'll accept me, right because like I
• 28:58
  Speaker 4: was going to try meetings in Germany as a student
• 29:02
  Speaker 4: and smoking.
• 29:04
  Speaker 2: They probably should, But in the end they.
• 29:06
  Speaker 4: Said no, no, we're looking for people with different backgrounds, who
• 29:09
  Speaker 4: problem solved differently. And and I have to say, I
• 29:11
  Speaker 4: I I love my thirty three years So what was
• 29:14
  Speaker 4: it training like?
• 29:15
  Speaker 1: Then? Then they you know where where?
• 29:17
  Speaker 2: What is it? You got to become right, you've got
• 29:19
  Speaker 2: to become a lethal and you got to become.
• 29:21
  Speaker 1: A legal agent.
• 29:22
  Speaker 4: You can't so John was a trainer. John actually worked
• 29:24
  Speaker 4: out at the.
• 29:25
  Speaker 2: But there's no way you can go under cover and
• 29:27
  Speaker 2: not be able to protect yourself.
• 29:29
  Speaker 1: Like, why would Well tell us about that?
• 29:32
  Speaker 4: Is it?
• 29:32
  Speaker 1: Is it bullshit that you have You said you have
• 29:34
  Speaker 1: to win a bar fight. But you know in the
• 29:36
  Speaker 1: movies obviously I know you guys advise on movies. Agents
• 29:40
  Speaker 1: Sorry c A A fucking officers are always represented as
• 29:43
  Speaker 1: being badass fighters. And do you go to training like that?
• 29:48
  Speaker 1: You're shaking your head, John.
• 29:49
  Speaker 9: No, I mean, in fact, for the most part, I
• 29:51
  Speaker 9: never carried a gun or needed a gun in war
• 29:55
  Speaker 9: zones and things. Obviously we have to protect ourselves. Jerry
• 29:57
  Speaker 9: is one of these guys riding horses in Afghanistan. I'm
• 29:59
  Speaker 9: looking for and loud and in that case he was
• 30:01
  Speaker 9: with special forces carrying weapons and things. But for most
• 30:04
  Speaker 9: of our career is not at all. Again, we're trying
• 30:05
  Speaker 9: to just develop relationships with people who have secrets and
• 30:09
  Speaker 9: see if we can't get those secrets. So, you know,
• 30:11
  Speaker 9: it's more mundane in that sense. I mean, obviously US
• 30:14
  Speaker 9: government needs secrets from around the world, and there are
• 30:17
  Speaker 9: dangerous places. So we if we're in a dangerous place,
• 30:20
  Speaker 9: we are trained how to protect ourselves there, how to
• 30:23
  Speaker 9: drive spin cars, jump out of planes, shoot things we
• 30:26
  Speaker 9: need to. But that's not the basis of the job. Obviously,
• 30:29
  Speaker 9: movies love that piece of it.
• 30:32
  Speaker 2: That's so, that's what the audiences love.
• 30:33
  Speaker 4: Well, yeah, exactly, and it's not so. But by winn
• 30:36
  Speaker 4: bar fight, it's really more talking our way out of it, right, Yeah.
• 30:42
  Speaker 2: Out of a bar fight, you would be perfect. Don't
• 30:45
  Speaker 2: get in a bar fight.
• 30:46
  Speaker 4: There you go.
• 30:47
  Speaker 2: I've made that mistake a couple of times where I've
• 30:49
  Speaker 2: gotten where the fight's about to happen and I've found
• 30:52
  Speaker 2: a way out of that thing.
• 30:53
  Speaker 9: And you're smart, So that's what they do. And they
• 30:55
  Speaker 9: when they train us on weapons. For the most part,
• 30:58
  Speaker 9: we're trained to what they call get off the X,
• 30:59
  Speaker 9: which is another nice way of saying run away, like
• 31:02
  Speaker 9: we were trained. You know, military they run to the fight.
• 31:05
  Speaker 9: Their job is to use their weapons. Our job is
• 31:09
  Speaker 9: the last resort if we have to use a weapon.
• 31:11
  Speaker 9: But in general we're talking to.
• 31:12
  Speaker 1: Run out of the get out of the.
• 31:13
  Speaker 4: X of I like that.
• 31:16
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna try that expression.
• 31:18
  Speaker 2: I have a secret, Then what's your secret? Is it Putin?
• 31:25
  Speaker 4: We already know it, man, we already know your secret.
• 31:27
  Speaker 2: Is it Putin?
• 31:28
  Speaker 9: Is what Putin?
• 31:30
  Speaker 2: Is that Putin? Or is that somebody else is Putin? Putin?
• 31:34
  Speaker 2: You know what?
• 31:35
  Speaker 4: Yes, it's Putin.
• 31:36
  Speaker 9: And I served in Moscow and Russia have dealt with
• 31:39
  Speaker 9: Putin and a number of other KGB guys around him.
• 31:42
  Speaker 9: But yeah, I think nowadays, when you become a dictator,
• 31:45
  Speaker 9: you start being afraid of your own people. And so
• 31:47
  Speaker 9: I think there are some body doubles out there now,
• 31:49
  Speaker 9: which you know, like Sodam Hussein and other people like
• 31:52
  Speaker 9: that when they worried about getting shot.
• 31:53
  Speaker 1: So I think I would do that if I had
• 31:55
  Speaker 1: infinite money and so many people wanted to kill me,
• 31:57
  Speaker 1: I would certainly say, go hire some lookalike, start with
• 32:00
  Speaker 1: Dax Shephard.
• 32:02
  Speaker 2: Start with Dax, and then get see.
• 32:04
  Speaker 1: How much Dax costs, because that we can. You can
• 32:07
  Speaker 1: do that right off the bat. He can.
• 32:10
  Speaker 2: And if it's not him, you got to go after.
• 32:13
  Speaker 1: Ray ram Monol you fucking asshole.
• 32:16
  Speaker 4: You're right, And how do you have character assassination?
• 32:19
  Speaker 2: So it's just as bad, right, Well, what about.
• 32:22
  Speaker 1: The what about the secret tools that we see in
• 32:24
  Speaker 1: the movies? Are any of those real?
• 32:26
  Speaker 5: Like, uh, you know the screen or oil slick, No,
• 32:30
  Speaker 5: that's fucking that's the video game. We love SpyHunter, Yeah,
• 32:36
  Speaker 5: not Spy Hunter.
• 32:39
  Speaker 1: No, But I mean, like, is all that bullshit that
• 32:42
  Speaker 1: when I think of the CIA, I think of them
• 32:44
  Speaker 1: using cool secret tools? Is any of that accurate?
• 32:48
  Speaker 2: Cameras well?
• 32:50
  Speaker 9: Likeny Kramer's for surely? So what Jerry said is, you know,
• 32:53
  Speaker 9: our job is to, if there's a problem, to figure
• 32:55
  Speaker 9: out how to solve the problem. And usually we try
• 32:57
  Speaker 9: to solve it by finding a person inside at an
• 33:00
  Speaker 9: institution that we can suborn or work with or what
• 33:02
  Speaker 9: have you. And if we need tools to do that,
• 33:05
  Speaker 9: if you need to listen to their phones, if you
• 33:07
  Speaker 9: need to take surreptitious pictures, if you need to surveil them.
• 33:12
  Speaker 9: You know, we do have people who can get us
• 33:14
  Speaker 9: the tools and fancy things we need, but for the
• 33:16
  Speaker 9: most part, again it's just building relationships. We don't we
• 33:19
  Speaker 9: don't need those things. And in fact, when we debrief
• 33:23
  Speaker 9: a source, you know that we've we've made sure we're
• 33:26
  Speaker 9: not under surveillance, and we meet them secretly in a
• 33:28
  Speaker 9: place to get information, to share the secrets with us.
• 33:31
  Speaker 9: You know, we often we don't record that. We just
• 33:34
  Speaker 9: usually listen and remember it and go back.
• 33:36
  Speaker 1: Why because you're worried you'd be caught. I mean, why
• 33:38
  Speaker 1: not record it? You're worried that they'll pat you down
• 33:41
  Speaker 1: like they do in the movies and be like it
• 33:43
  Speaker 1: depends where you're recording me U asshole.
• 33:45
  Speaker 2: Well, that's that's for sure.
• 33:46
  Speaker 9: If you're in Moscow and you meet someone and you
• 33:48
  Speaker 9: know on their way back here, you know you're caught
• 33:51
  Speaker 9: or something, that's certainly a concern. But also you know,
• 33:55
  Speaker 9: just yeah, I mean, we don't need to train. We're
• 33:58
  Speaker 9: trained to elicit information and remember what it is and
• 34:02
  Speaker 9: write it down. So it's better not to have extra stuff.
• 34:05
  Speaker 4: I want to commit because it's a really good question.
• 34:08
  Speaker 4: Sack on the high tech stuff. So, yeah, some of
• 34:10
  Speaker 4: the high tech stuff exists, but increasingly and ironically, the
• 34:15
  Speaker 4: more high tech there is, the more we go stone age, right,
• 34:19
  Speaker 4: anything technical.
• 34:21
  Speaker 2: Like if I send you a coded.
• 34:22
  Speaker 4: Message that no one can break if you're my asset,
• 34:25
  Speaker 4: what if ten years from now someone can break that,
• 34:28
  Speaker 4: you're screwed. But if it's not recorded and it's not
• 34:32
  Speaker 4: put on video anywhere, if nobody sees it, it didn't happen.
• 34:36
  Speaker 1: You have to sort of future proof everyone.
• 34:39
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 34:40
  Speaker 1: Like that there might be a code breaking app in
• 34:42
  Speaker 1: five years in that person, going.
• 34:44
  Speaker 2: Back to the nineteen fifties.
• 34:45
  Speaker 9: Yeah, Like you don't want to use your phone drop
• 34:47
  Speaker 9: to be tracked, but.
• 34:48
  Speaker 1: The CIA, you can't CIA get into anybody's phone, like
• 34:53
  Speaker 1: if they want to.
• 34:54
  Speaker 9: That's more the NSA's job often helped by the CIA,
• 34:59
  Speaker 9: so overseas, not anyone's phone. I don't think. I think
• 35:01
  Speaker 9: there's a lot of very skilled people who can get
• 35:03
  Speaker 9: into get into those kind of places. But we can
• 35:06
  Speaker 9: come up with an operation. If we need to get
• 35:08
  Speaker 9: into a Iranian scientist's computer, we would try to come
• 35:13
  Speaker 9: up with a means to do that, and that's essentially
• 35:16
  Speaker 9: what our job is.
• 35:17
  Speaker 4: And so yeah, we do that.
• 35:18
  Speaker 9: But it isn't as if there's some dude sitting back
• 35:20
  Speaker 9: here like and nobody's clicking on his computer and they
• 35:22
  Speaker 9: can't get into anything in the world.
• 35:24
  Speaker 4: And on a phone, if you do a phone tap,
• 35:26
  Speaker 4: you're talking like huge resources to listen to somebody's phone
• 35:29
  Speaker 4: and actually understand it, especially in a foreign language, because
• 35:32
  Speaker 4: we're not allowed to tap us phones. So it takes
• 35:35
  Speaker 4: like a team of like, sure you're not Jerry, Sure.
• 35:38
  Speaker 2: You're not Jerry.
• 35:41
  Speaker 4: We have.
• 35:42
  Speaker 1: Sure Jerry wink emoji.
• 35:50
  Speaker 9: Americans are boring. Who wants to listen to their freaking phones?
• 35:54
  Speaker 9: It's all low porn and ship.
• 35:56
  Speaker 1: I think that it's possible for the CIA to get
• 35:59
  Speaker 1: into anybody's phone, at least in the country.
• 36:01
  Speaker 9: Possible.
• 36:01
  Speaker 4: Why would you want to.
• 36:03
  Speaker 1: You're not supposed to operate in the country, right, You're
• 36:04
  Speaker 1: all overseas.
• 36:06
  Speaker 2: No, they can operate anywhere. It's as long as it's
• 36:09
  Speaker 2: it's just.
• 36:10
  Speaker 1: But is it is it foreigner related?
• 36:12
  Speaker 4: Like?
• 36:13
  Speaker 1: Where do you not overlap?
• 36:14
  Speaker 9: We are foreign intelligence operation. Our job is to collect
• 36:17
  Speaker 9: foreign intelligence from China and Russia around.
• 36:19
  Speaker 2: So you can't do it. You can't you can't get Okay,
• 36:22
  Speaker 2: thank you there.
• 36:23
  Speaker 9: So, yes, So we operate overseas. Our job is to
• 36:27
  Speaker 9: recruit foreigners to collect foreign intelligence. However, we do have
• 36:31
  Speaker 9: people in the United States who work with the FBI.
• 36:33
  Speaker 9: So the FBI's job is to track foreign counterintelligence counter
• 36:37
  Speaker 9: intelligence operators that are in the United States, and so
• 36:39
  Speaker 9: we often work with them, and we sometimes work with
• 36:42
  Speaker 9: the US companies that have relationships overseas to collect foreign intelligence.
• 36:47
  Speaker 9: So we do have people in the United States that
• 36:49
  Speaker 9: work on They're not we're not looking Americans. We're looking
• 36:53
  Speaker 9: to cru If there's an Iranian scientist studying nuclear physics
• 36:56
  Speaker 9: at cal who might go back into that thing, it
• 36:58
  Speaker 9: would be nice to meet them before they go back.
• 37:01
  Speaker 2: Right, let's take a break.
• 37:02
  Speaker 1: We'll be right back after these fine words. I have
• 37:12
  Speaker 1: a question, would the CIA ever hire a forty nine
• 37:15
  Speaker 1: year old actor? Because this sounds very exciting? Is it
• 37:20
  Speaker 1: too late for me?
• 37:22
  Speaker 2: I bet you, I bet you. There are actors in
• 37:26
  Speaker 2: the industry that are already working for the CIA.
• 37:30
  Speaker 1: Zach Okay, Well, I would like to audition. I'll do
• 37:33
  Speaker 1: a monologue, I'll do whatever.
• 37:36
  Speaker 9: You're very smart to make your money first and then
• 37:38
  Speaker 9: join the CIA.
• 37:42
  Speaker 2: I'll tell you you got good benefits.
• 37:44
  Speaker 1: Is that if you're like really in deep and you
• 37:46
  Speaker 1: and you and you get some bonus. If you're like
• 37:49
  Speaker 1: in deep and you do something amazing and then you
• 37:51
  Speaker 1: come back or they like hear ja, That's what.
• 37:53
  Speaker 2: I was going to ask you. That was my question.
• 37:56
  Speaker 2: Has anybody ever gone into deep?
• 37:58
  Speaker 4: Like?
• 37:58
  Speaker 2: Is anybody Donald Joson to Jerry? I do like to
• 38:01
  Speaker 2: go deep, but as have you guys? Ever do you
• 38:05
  Speaker 2: know of anybody like well, do you know anybody's like Yo,
• 38:08
  Speaker 2: Sally went too deep man, she fell in love with
• 38:10
  Speaker 2: fucking the dude. And or Jim went too deep he
• 38:13
  Speaker 2: fell in love with her. Did that ever happen? Yes,
• 38:17
  Speaker 2: but please tell us yes.
• 38:19
  Speaker 4: Yes, no, no, the yes is and this is this
• 38:22
  Speaker 4: is actually serious and tragic. Sometimes this job can be
• 38:27
  Speaker 4: like an addiction, right. I mean, we have a lot
• 38:30
  Speaker 4: of failed marriages, We have a you know, alcoholism is
• 38:33
  Speaker 4: an issue because people are like you, just you work
• 38:36
  Speaker 4: at your job and you believe in it, and I
• 38:40
  Speaker 4: think you give up. You know, we miss we miss
• 38:43
  Speaker 4: the birth.
• 38:43
  Speaker 2: Of our kids.
• 38:44
  Speaker 4: Sometimes we miss things and so yeah, I think I
• 38:46
  Speaker 4: think we also have a very low attrition rate, like
• 38:50
  Speaker 4: people never leave the agency once you're in. Once you
• 38:53
  Speaker 4: people are like I love this by and rug.
• 38:55
  Speaker 1: What Donald's asking is, have you guys seen real, real
• 38:58
  Speaker 1: life experiences of people falling in love or getting too
• 39:01
  Speaker 1: close to the person that they're tailing.
• 39:04
  Speaker 9: So in general, we don't. It's interesting if you see
• 39:06
  Speaker 9: movies and stuff the ideas we use sex to compromise me.
• 39:10
  Speaker 1: John, you're handsome. I bet you used how many I
• 39:16
  Speaker 1: bet them?
• 39:16
  Speaker 2: Russian girls was all over here?
• 39:18
  Speaker 1: How many.
• 39:23
  Speaker 2: Get John to tell you his Russian girls story?
• 39:25
  Speaker 1: John, I don't see a Russian girl story? And does
• 39:28
  Speaker 1: it have anything to do with going too deep?
• 39:37
  Speaker 2: John's like, how do I answer this question? How do
• 39:39
  Speaker 2: I get So?
• 39:41
  Speaker 9: We do not use sex because or compromise, because the
• 39:45
  Speaker 9: problem is we're trying to develop relationships with people that
• 39:48
  Speaker 9: they trust us and their supports so they e spy
• 39:51
  Speaker 9: for us for years. If you compromise someone, they're looking
• 39:53
  Speaker 9: to get out of it, or they're looking to screw
• 39:54
  Speaker 9: you with the first opportunity. And I'll tell you my
• 39:56
  Speaker 9: Russian it's a little it's a little long. I'll tell
• 39:59
  Speaker 9: you real quick. I'll try to do the quick version.
• 40:01
  Speaker 9: When I was in Moscow, I was at ciaf S,
• 40:04
  Speaker 9: I was undercover working in the embassy. And I met
• 40:06
  Speaker 9: this beautiful girl at a party. It was a German
• 40:08
  Speaker 9: diplint was having this party, and we are not allowed
• 40:10
  Speaker 9: to date Russians because the Russians use people against us,
• 40:15
  Speaker 9: They try to run sources, they try to make us
• 40:17
  Speaker 9: have sex with people so that they can then.
• 40:19
  Speaker 1: Yeah, use that must be hard because they they seduce you.
• 40:22
  Speaker 9: And so I was single and I met this woman
• 40:24
  Speaker 9: and she was a concert pianist and she was just stunning.
• 40:27
  Speaker 9: And we were't allowed to date Russians at the time.
• 40:29
  Speaker 9: And I met her at a party and I said, well,
• 40:30
  Speaker 9: you know, maybe she's Ukrainian. So I said, let's meet
• 40:34
  Speaker 9: try work, trying to work tomorrow for brunch. And so
• 40:39
  Speaker 9: I drove home that night from the party, not with her,
• 40:41
  Speaker 9: and and I had my surveillance that followed me everywhere.
• 40:44
  Speaker 9: I'll explain that to you later, like Russians follow you
• 40:46
  Speaker 9: and they have audio and video in your house where
• 40:48
  Speaker 9: they watch everything you do. And so I got home
• 40:51
  Speaker 9: and I realized, yeah, this is stupid, she's Russian. This thing.
• 40:53
  Speaker 9: So the next morning I went to the brunch with her.
• 40:55
  Speaker 9: My surveillance cars followed me this fancy hotel. I had
• 40:58
  Speaker 9: this brunch and I said, listen, I'm really sorry. My
• 41:01
  Speaker 9: embassy discourages us having relationships to the Russians. You know,
• 41:05
  Speaker 9: I think it's really nice to meet you and have brunch,
• 41:07
  Speaker 9: but I'm going to be unable to see you again.
• 41:09
  Speaker 9: And she got really like upset, like what's wrong with
• 41:11
  Speaker 9: your embassy? The Cold War is over. This doesn't make
• 41:15
  Speaker 9: any sense, you know, why can't young people meet each other?
• 41:17
  Speaker 9: I said, listen, I'm sorry, I understand. Fast forward about
• 41:20
  Speaker 9: a week later, I get a call in the embassy
• 41:22
  Speaker 9: and it's snowing. It's the embassy is writing an old
• 41:24
  Speaker 9: downtown Moscow, and she called, can you meet me outside
• 41:28
  Speaker 9: my conservatory? I have something to tell you. And I
• 41:31
  Speaker 9: was like, oh, Christy in Moscow. I was going to
• 41:33
  Speaker 9: set you up a side. I said, oh, what's happening here?
• 41:35
  Speaker 9: So I did so I have to. At the end
• 41:37
  Speaker 9: of the day, I was like seven at night, it's dark,
• 41:39
  Speaker 9: I'm driving home, it's all snowy, and my surveillance cars
• 41:41
  Speaker 9: are following me into the old part of Moscow and
• 41:44
  Speaker 9: she's standing out in front of her conservatory and on
• 41:46
  Speaker 9: the sidewalk in a big, long fur coat. And so
• 41:49
  Speaker 9: I got out to see her and I'm like, Okay,
• 41:51
  Speaker 9: what's going on. This could be weird, And she said, listen,
• 41:54
  Speaker 9: I just want you to know that I won't date
• 41:56
  Speaker 9: you either. After I met you, the cage came to
• 42:00
  Speaker 9: my house. They threatened my parents. They told me I
• 42:03
  Speaker 9: had to date you, I had to sleep with you,
• 42:05
  Speaker 9: and they told my parents they would lose their jobs
• 42:06
  Speaker 9: unless I continue to do that. And I now realize
• 42:09
  Speaker 9: you're right. Your country is right. My country is still
• 42:12
  Speaker 9: thinking in the old way. And uh, you know, I
• 42:15
  Speaker 9: understand why you did that now. And I was like, no, man,
• 42:17
  Speaker 9: I like you more now.
• 42:22
  Speaker 4: But having to sleep with John right, good point.
• 42:26
  Speaker 9: So that's to give you a sense of how the
• 42:27
  Speaker 9: Russians are, the intensity of them trying to stop what
• 42:31
  Speaker 9: American diplomats, American intelligence officers are doing. They're willing to
• 42:34
  Speaker 9: use anybody, their own citizens included.
• 42:36
  Speaker 1: I am, that's that's incredible. Yeah, I'm sure that a
• 42:40
  Speaker 1: lot of officers must fall to that, even though they've
• 42:44
  Speaker 1: been briefed on it. You know, the powers of sexual
• 42:48
  Speaker 1: attraction can are can be very.
• 42:52
  Speaker 4: That's why we don't use it.
• 42:53
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I'm saying that they must.
• 42:56
  Speaker 9: Jerry's married to a foregner. So if we meet a foreigner,
• 42:59
  Speaker 9: not Moscow is unusual because they use it the Intelligence Service,
• 43:03
  Speaker 9: Security Service against us. If we meet a foreigner. We
• 43:06
  Speaker 9: can date foreigners, but we have to report it for
• 43:09
  Speaker 9: counterintelligence purposes or can't be used against us. So if
• 43:12
  Speaker 9: I meet am single and I meet a foreign woman
• 43:15
  Speaker 9: and I start dating or I just have to write
• 43:16
  Speaker 9: to Washington and tell everything about her and they look
• 43:19
  Speaker 9: and to see if there's any information on them or whatever.
• 43:22
  Speaker 9: And so that's that's the process there. And so a
• 43:24
  Speaker 9: number of agency people and also Stayed, Parma, Tiplants and
• 43:28
  Speaker 9: other people marry foreigners.
• 43:30
  Speaker 4: But when you.
• 43:32
  Speaker 9: Propose to marry them, you have to then break the
• 43:37
  Speaker 9: news to them where you really work, that you work
• 43:38
  Speaker 9: in the CIA, and they have to become they have
• 43:41
  Speaker 9: to agree to become American citizens, and they have to
• 43:42
  Speaker 9: take a polygraph, so you have to if they.
• 43:45
  Speaker 1: Can't being able to tell a woman that you're like,
• 43:48
  Speaker 1: I have to tell you something, and she's like, like,
• 43:51
  Speaker 1: I work for the CIA. I'm a CIA officer, and
• 43:54
  Speaker 1: I mean I just feel like Donald we should use.
• 43:56
  Speaker 1: We should be using that line anyway in our own line.
• 43:58
  Speaker 2: So a big care careful bro, be careful bro, counter intelligence.
• 44:04
  Speaker 1: Listen. You might think that I'm an actor. I understand
• 44:07
  Speaker 1: why you would think that about the.
• 44:08
  Speaker 2: Actors are.
• 44:10
  Speaker 1: Actually work for the CIA. I'm undercover as a as
• 44:14
  Speaker 1: an actor.
• 44:15
  Speaker 4: A friend of mine he was in Germany. He was
• 44:18
  Speaker 4: dating a German woman and he wanted to, you know,
• 44:20
  Speaker 4: he filled out the paperwork. She was fine. It's just
• 44:22
  Speaker 4: you know, she wasn't a spy except to get him.
• 44:24
  Speaker 4: And so he takes her through these this romantic evening. Uh,
• 44:29
  Speaker 4: the son's going down and they go up to these
• 44:31
  Speaker 4: all these vineyards are bottle wine, some cheese and bread,
• 44:35
  Speaker 4: and I think she suspects that he's gonna like propose,
• 44:38
  Speaker 4: and he sits down and he says, I need to
• 44:40
  Speaker 4: talk with you. This is really serious, he says. So
• 44:44
  Speaker 4: the first thing I need to tell you, he says,
• 44:46
  Speaker 4: is I work for the CIA, and I want you
• 44:50
  Speaker 4: to marry me. And she faints like God, and she's like,
• 44:54
  Speaker 4: He's like, oh my god, you know the CIA thing
• 44:57
  Speaker 4: it like, and so he like wakes her, wakes, she comes,
• 45:00
  Speaker 4: she comes to and he goes are you okay? He says,
• 45:02
  Speaker 4: I'll resign from the CIA if you want, and she goes, no,
• 45:06
  Speaker 4: I thought you were gonna tell me you were gay.
• 45:08
  Speaker 3: And just like what he says, well, you always put
• 45:13
  Speaker 3: palmade in your hair and you dressed nice, and I
• 45:17
  Speaker 3: thought maybe you were bye and like.
• 45:20
  Speaker 2: She's like, I was so certain that was what it was.
• 45:22
  Speaker 4: And and he says no, and she goes.
• 45:25
  Speaker 1: Oh, you just I just work with this.
• 45:27
  Speaker 4: And she's like, oh, that's no problem right there, still married.
• 45:31
  Speaker 4: She's like, no, no issue.
• 45:33
  Speaker 1: That's funny. I'm fine that we could get assassinated. I
• 45:36
  Speaker 1: just don't want you to be fine.
• 45:38
  Speaker 2: That's a good question. Have you ever seen someone get
• 45:40
  Speaker 2: Have you ever been like next to the dude that
• 45:42
  Speaker 2: got caught and looking at him like, shut the fuck up,
• 45:44
  Speaker 2: Shut the fuck up, shut the fun up, say my name.
• 45:48
  Speaker 9: Well, no, we're usually because we work in embassies overseas
• 45:51
  Speaker 9: under the diplomatic cover. If we're with a source and
• 45:54
  Speaker 9: get caught, you know, we get kicked out of the country.
• 45:57
  Speaker 9: So to us, people say, oh, it's brave or whatever.
• 46:00
  Speaker 9: You know, the brave people are the sources that work
• 46:02
  Speaker 9: for us, because those guys are committing espionage and they
• 46:05
  Speaker 9: get arrested, they go to prison, they get shot, their
• 46:07
  Speaker 9: family gets arrested. And so our job is to protect
• 46:10
  Speaker 9: those people.
• 46:11
  Speaker 1: What's their incentive? You give them? You give them money?
• 46:13
  Speaker 1: Is that their incentive?
• 46:14
  Speaker 2: No? Rarely?
• 46:15
  Speaker 1: Sometimes why why did these why are these brave people
• 46:18
  Speaker 1: put their lives on the line.
• 46:20
  Speaker 4: I'll give you one story that covers both what they're
• 46:23
  Speaker 4: facing and why. But I'm sort of mixing two stories.
• 46:26
  Speaker 4: But I won't say the country. But one guy was
• 46:30
  Speaker 4: a real patriot of his country, loved his country. I'm
• 46:33
  Speaker 4: not going to say where. He loved his country. And
• 46:37
  Speaker 4: he and Yeah, he would meet, He and I would meet,
• 46:41
  Speaker 4: and eventually he says to me, I need to borrow
• 46:44
  Speaker 4: a thousand dollars and I'm like, okay. He knows I'm CIA,
• 46:49
  Speaker 4: by the way, and I know he's an intelligence officer
• 46:52
  Speaker 4: with his country and we're working together on a common thing,
• 46:55
  Speaker 4: but we don't trust each other, which is another weird
• 46:58
  Speaker 4: angle on this. And he says, look, you know what
• 47:00
  Speaker 4: you're thinking, because you're a CIA guy, You're not going
• 47:02
  Speaker 4: to fucking recruit me, right, I'm not recruitable, but I
• 47:06
  Speaker 4: need the money. And I said sure, but I can
• 47:08
  Speaker 4: ask why, and he says, well, my daughter needs an operation.
• 47:12
  Speaker 4: And in the country where it was, the medical care
• 47:14
  Speaker 4: isn't very good, and I want to get a doctor
• 47:16
  Speaker 4: with more training. And I'm like, okay, but why don't
• 47:21
  Speaker 4: you borrow like fifteen hundred dollars and get like a real,
• 47:25
  Speaker 4: you know, decent medical care. He goes, no, no, this is
• 47:28
  Speaker 4: good enough. It's it's just a basic thing on you know,
• 47:30
  Speaker 4: it's a stomach operation. It's it's pretty run of the
• 47:32
  Speaker 4: mill because his country's health care industry had sort of
• 47:36
  Speaker 4: broken down. His his insurance didn't really work because it
• 47:39
  Speaker 4: was all corrupted in this country. And so later I
• 47:44
  Speaker 4: met him, and I have daughters too, and I brought
• 47:47
  Speaker 4: him some beanie babies and you know, a video from
• 47:50
  Speaker 4: a Disney film. And I see him and I say, hey,
• 47:55
  Speaker 4: you know, how's it going. And he's got a bag
• 47:57
  Speaker 4: with him and in the bag he's on the top
• 47:59
  Speaker 4: of it or some beanie baby I'd given him from
• 48:00
  Speaker 4: before for his daughter and who was five. And he
• 48:04
  Speaker 4: hands me the bag and he says, no, no, this
• 48:07
  Speaker 4: is for you. I said, no, no, keep on until she
• 48:09
  Speaker 4: gets better. And he said, my daughter died on the
• 48:11
  Speaker 4: operating table. She bled to death. He says, because we
• 48:14
  Speaker 4: don't have medical care because the president and my boss
• 48:18
  Speaker 4: stole all the insurance money and I can't get And
• 48:21
  Speaker 4: he said, he said, that's it. He said, I am
• 48:24
  Speaker 4: a patriot, I love my country. My government has betrayed
• 48:28
  Speaker 4: my country. You know, this is pretty serious shit. This
• 48:31
  Speaker 4: is like wrong. And he says, I'm in right. I'm
• 48:35
  Speaker 4: going to use you CIA as my weapon of revenge,
• 48:39
  Speaker 4: like making it right. There's shit you need to know.
• 48:42
  Speaker 4: And he says, we're all over you, like people you
• 48:45
  Speaker 4: know who are working with you, they work for us,
• 48:47
  Speaker 4: and I'm going to tell you who they are. So
• 48:49
  Speaker 4: fast forward, sort of a blend in the story. But
• 48:53
  Speaker 4: we're driving through through the night at nighttime. I pick
• 48:58
  Speaker 4: him up at a place and we're driving along and
• 49:00
  Speaker 4: we're talking and there's a surprise checkpoint in front of us.
• 49:03
  Speaker 4: So there's militia, guys wearing the sun you know, the mirror,
• 49:06
  Speaker 4: sunglasses at night. Weapons, they're high. And we ride into
• 49:11
  Speaker 4: this thing and I'm like, oh fuck and go. I
• 49:13
  Speaker 4: don't smoke, but I've got a carton of cigarettes. Ride
• 49:16
  Speaker 4: into this checkpoint and I give the head. I'm like, hey, man,
• 49:19
  Speaker 4: you know, nice night. Here's some cigarettes American diplomat and
• 49:23
  Speaker 4: they let me through and he's sitting next to me,
• 49:25
  Speaker 4: this guy. And as we drive through, I look at
• 49:28
  Speaker 4: him and I'm like, that was that worked? He pulls
• 49:31
  Speaker 4: out a maker off and he says very serious. He says,
• 49:35
  Speaker 4: they wouldn't take us alive, and I'm thinking, fuck us,
• 49:40
  Speaker 4: Like I got diplomatic community. All they do to me
• 49:43
  Speaker 4: is like throw me out of the country. But he
• 49:45
  Speaker 4: would be executed, right, So so it's a it's a
• 49:49
  Speaker 4: serious thing, and it's a it can be, but it's.
• 49:52
  Speaker 2: It sounds like the CIA and other country is what
• 49:54
  Speaker 2: we're talking about, Zach. The they're the ones that are
• 49:58
  Speaker 2: freaking like, I'm gonna sleep with you, I'm gonna shoot
• 50:00
  Speaker 2: you ass, I'm gonna do all the things that y'all
• 50:03
  Speaker 2: aren't willing to do. Y'all are like Batman and fucking
• 50:07
  Speaker 2: you know what I mean, or like Superman and everybody
• 50:09
  Speaker 2: else is like the Vigilanti that's willing to do anything
• 50:12
  Speaker 2: in everything.
• 50:13
  Speaker 1: Yeah, James Bond, you know, keep in mind he was English, so.
• 50:16
  Speaker 2: That's why he was able to sleep with all these women.
• 50:18
  Speaker 1: Yes, maybe the id English and I five has different
• 50:21
  Speaker 1: rules they're allowed to have, Like.
• 50:23
  Speaker 2: You can fuck and you can shoot anybody you want.
• 50:27
  Speaker 1: That's what you learn. That's what you learn on day one. Hey, guys,
• 50:29
  Speaker 1: before we start stretching and doing some exercises, you guys
• 50:33
  Speaker 1: are allowed to fuck whoever you want.
• 50:35
  Speaker 4: Democracy start allow that and we're gonna.
• 50:37
  Speaker 1: Give you an Aston Martin. Right, Hey, guys, just try
• 50:43
  Speaker 1: out your Asston Martins and then meet back here for stretching.
• 50:47
  Speaker 2: All right, That sounds that sounds I'm sorry, Jay, but
• 50:49
  Speaker 2: that sounds like the most dangerous thing ever. Man, I'm sorry.
• 50:52
  Speaker 2: I Like, it's great to be an actor and to
• 50:55
  Speaker 2: tell lies in front of a camera and everything like
• 50:57
  Speaker 2: that and get paid to do that. Ship, but to
• 51:00
  Speaker 2: go into a foreign country and then make up a
• 51:02
  Speaker 2: completely new identity and have to stick to the bible
• 51:06
  Speaker 2: that you've created so that you don't get caught out there,
• 51:09
  Speaker 2: or to go there and nobody else can know that
• 51:13
  Speaker 2: you're CIA, but trust one person to tell them. Listen,
• 51:17
  Speaker 2: I'm CIA, hook me up. That sounds like the most
• 51:21
  Speaker 2: dangerous thing on the planet to me. And I don't
• 51:23
  Speaker 2: know why anybody would ever want to do that without
• 51:26
  Speaker 2: some form of protection and or you know what I mean.
• 51:30
  Speaker 4: Yeah, but most CIA officers take a cut in pay
• 51:33
  Speaker 4: to do this, right, I mean, with our backgrounds and
• 51:36
  Speaker 4: things like that, we could have gone into banking or
• 51:39
  Speaker 4: Wall Street and they.
• 51:40
  Speaker 1: Just four five times. It's the thrill, right, No, it's
• 51:44
  Speaker 1: the mission.
• 51:44
  Speaker 9: Like you know, we feel that we're working on the
• 51:47
  Speaker 9: issues that matter, right, so whatever. Right now, you can
• 51:50
  Speaker 9: imagine what's happening in Israel, what's happening in Ukraine, what's
• 51:53
  Speaker 9: happening in Iran, and North Korea is developing nuclear weapons.
• 51:56
  Speaker 9: We're trying to find the answers the questions that the
• 51:59
  Speaker 9: administration needs to make smart policy. Now, they don't always
• 52:02
  Speaker 9: make smart policy, even if you bring them good information.
• 52:05
  Speaker 9: That's a different thing altogether. But you know, we feel
• 52:08
  Speaker 9: like you're doing something that matters, and the people who
• 52:10
  Speaker 9: are helping you are risking their lives because they believe
• 52:12
  Speaker 9: in the United States. They believe the United States can
• 52:15
  Speaker 9: help them because their country is either greedy, corrupt, you know,
• 52:20
  Speaker 9: or violent or what have you. And they're working with
• 52:23
  Speaker 9: us to try to fix things for their family and
• 52:26
  Speaker 9: their country. And that's that's pretty heavy stuff.
• 52:27
  Speaker 4: It's fun and I know your audience is going to
• 52:30
  Speaker 4: think like, oh, it's CIA, so CIA, let's get up
• 52:33
  Speaker 4: to the front. CIA has got skeletons in its closet, right,
• 52:37
  Speaker 4: it's a It's an organization made up of people. So
• 52:40
  Speaker 4: we have fuck ups, we get things wrong, we make mistakes.
• 52:45
  Speaker 2: We're not perfect.
• 52:47
  Speaker 4: You know, you can look back in history and there's
• 52:49
  Speaker 4: all sorts of things that, like back in the forties,
• 52:52
  Speaker 4: fifties and sixties that we shouldn't have done that I
• 52:54
  Speaker 4: think are immoral and wrong. But you know, like that's
• 52:59
  Speaker 4: sort of the way it is.
• 53:01
  Speaker 1: What is the podcast that you guys do. As we
• 53:03
  Speaker 1: wrap up, tell us about your show.
• 53:06
  Speaker 9: It's called Mission Implausible. And the notion was, like Jerry said,
• 53:09
  Speaker 9: you know, we do. You know, we were in a certain
• 53:11
  Speaker 9: sense where conspiracies oversea, we were trying to hide our
• 53:14
  Speaker 9: real intentions from those that were tracking us and following us,
• 53:17
  Speaker 9: so we did small sea conspiracy. So the idea is
• 53:20
  Speaker 9: we're going to look at conspiracy theories and try to
• 53:22
  Speaker 9: dissect them and interview people. And you know, it's similar
• 53:25
  Speaker 9: to your programming. It's mostly lighthearted and sort of banter.
• 53:29
  Speaker 9: And we've looked at Bill Gates microchips, we've looked at
• 53:32
  Speaker 9: Kem Trail's Jewish space lasers. We've done Hunter Biden's laptop.
• 53:38
  Speaker 9: We've done Vana Syndrome, We've done UFOs, We've done the
• 53:42
  Speaker 9: deep State, under dead, Illuminati, living under.
• 53:48
  Speaker 2: Have you done Ken John un Is that really him?
• 53:50
  Speaker 2: Or is he dead? And somebody else is running the country?
• 53:53
  Speaker 2: Like what's going on?
• 53:54
  Speaker 9: If you know something, we can have you on to
• 53:55
  Speaker 9: talk about.
• 53:56
  Speaker 2: I don't know anything. All I know is what I
• 53:58
  Speaker 2: hear in the media, and this it sounds like it
• 54:02
  Speaker 2: sounds like the media is part of this whole conspiracy
• 54:06
  Speaker 2: machine that's going on. Click.
• 54:09
  Speaker 1: Thank you guys. The podcast is called Mission Implausible. You
• 54:12
  Speaker 1: guys are so interesting and and thank you for you.
• 54:16
  Speaker 2: Love to have you back for a part too.
• 54:17
  Speaker 4: At some point if.
• 54:19
  Speaker 1: You guys should go do a little recount on aliens
• 54:21
  Speaker 1: and come back, it would be great.
• 54:24
  Speaker 9: We weren't too helpful on that.
• 54:26
  Speaker 1: No, it's all right. We appreciate you. Thank you so much.
• 54:30
  Speaker 2: Let's take a break.
• 54:31
  Speaker 1: We'll be right back after these fine words. That was great.
• 54:41
  Speaker 2: That was they were actually great, man, they were you know.
• 54:45
  Speaker 2: I wish they would have answered the alien question.
• 54:47
  Speaker 1: Well, they don't know anything about that, because I don't
• 54:49
  Speaker 1: think you know, for some reason, you and I both
• 54:51
  Speaker 1: thought the CIA would have alien information, but I think
• 54:54
  Speaker 1: it's not their department.
• 54:55
  Speaker 2: Well then we need to find out who does have this, Joelle.
• 54:58
  Speaker 1: Can you book the guy the night manager of Area
• 55:01
  Speaker 1: fifty one the interview? Are you kidding me?
• 55:06
  Speaker 6: Let me see what I could do.
• 55:07
  Speaker 1: I wish you could book the fighter jet pilot that
• 55:10
  Speaker 1: if you got you know the thing I'm talking about,
• 55:11
  Speaker 1: the dude just look on YouTube with the guy. If
• 55:14
  Speaker 1: the audience, if you don't know what I'm talking about,
• 55:16
  Speaker 1: just look up, like what's it called?
• 55:18
  Speaker 2: He tracked it?
• 55:20
  Speaker 1: Oh yeah, look up UFO tic tack on YouTube and
• 55:24
  Speaker 1: this fighter jet.
• 55:25
  Speaker 2: But I have a question. How big was the Actually
• 55:28
  Speaker 2: it's not the size of a tic tac obviously, but
• 55:30
  Speaker 2: him trying to pin it with it right.
• 55:33
  Speaker 1: The size of a tick tack. He sees it, and
• 55:36
  Speaker 1: he's he's following it, and.
• 55:37
  Speaker 2: Nobody doesn't see it outside the window. He sees it
• 55:40
  Speaker 2: in the computer, I thought, And then he locks.
• 55:41
  Speaker 1: On you know, he's just on the and no, it's
• 55:43
  Speaker 1: not a computer. It's his goggles with night vision, I believe.
• 55:47
  Speaker 2: And then he locks onto it with the goggles.
• 55:49
  Speaker 1: Right, and he's freaking out. He's like, look at this thing.
• 55:52
  Speaker 1: Look at this thing's moving. He's freaking out, and he's like.
• 55:57
  Speaker 2: I wonder how I wanted to the size of that thing.
• 55:59
  Speaker 2: I wonder what the.
• 55:59
  Speaker 1: Side I think in your mind you were like you
• 56:02
  Speaker 1: questioned whether it was the actual size of.
• 56:04
  Speaker 2: A I knew it wasn't the size of a ticktack,
• 56:06
  Speaker 2: because that wouldn't make sense.
• 56:07
  Speaker 1: How would funny would it be if aliens finally invade
• 56:11
  Speaker 1: and they're like they come in the size of a
• 56:12
  Speaker 1: real tick tack. They're like, we're here to take over.
• 56:15
  Speaker 2: And but it's but it's kajillions of them.
• 56:19
  Speaker 1: Right, but they all like they land their little tik
• 56:21
  Speaker 1: tak and they're like, we're getting out, getting out.
• 56:24
  Speaker 2: We'd win for a little bit, but it would be
• 56:27
  Speaker 2: like Gulliver's travel away. We'd be fucking stuck on the
• 56:29
  Speaker 2: ground and everything they can get us eventually.
• 56:33
  Speaker 1: I gotta tell you, I think I would really love
• 56:35
  Speaker 1: to ride one of those dune.
• 56:36
  Speaker 2: Snakes, the worm, the sandworm.
• 56:39
  Speaker 1: Yeah, the sandworm. I would love to I would love
• 56:42
  Speaker 1: to fucking get my clippers in there and ride it.
• 56:46
  Speaker 1: You're that's what it must be for Like Casey when
• 56:49
  Speaker 1: she has sex with you.
• 56:51
  Speaker 2: Wait are you calling? You're calling my penis sandworm?
• 56:54
  Speaker 1: Yeah, she like has this case you have giant like
• 56:56
  Speaker 1: clippers that she clips in to ride it. Yeah, you
• 57:03
  Speaker 1: should role play, Lisa, guy, you should role play that
• 57:08
  Speaker 1: you're right that she's riding your sandworm and have her
• 57:12
  Speaker 1: yell about it like that. That's not gonna get you
• 57:16
  Speaker 1: for your birthday. I'm gonna get casey two of those
• 57:18
  Speaker 1: fucking extender claw clicking worm riding.
• 57:21
  Speaker 2: Things to click onto my sandworm. Yeah right, I don't know,
• 57:27
  Speaker 2: I don't know. I don't know how well to.
• 57:28
  Speaker 1: Get her a thumper. I'm gonna get a little thumper
• 57:30
  Speaker 1: that you put in the vision. All right, everybody, that's
• 57:36
  Speaker 1: our show. Thank you for tuning in. We love you,
• 57:38
  Speaker 1: we appreciate you. Be safe out there would be kind five, six, seven, eight.
• 57:42
  Speaker 5: Stories show we made about a bunch of times and nurses.
• 57:50
  Speaker 2: He said, he's a story next.
• 57:55
  Speaker 8: So yea here, yea here Arts for Freehobies and Dano