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How Do I Stop Shrinking Around Other People? · Intuitive Coaching with Amy Radio

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  Speaker 1: Hi, it's Amy with Intuitive Coaching with Amy Radio, and
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  Speaker 1: this is your sacred space for spirituality, intuition, manifestation, and
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  Speaker 1: metaphysical wisdom. Okay, so the question is how do I
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  Speaker 1: stop shrinking to keep others comfortable? Well, it doesn't work.
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  Speaker 1: Shrinking to keep other people comfortable does not work. It
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  Speaker 1: doesn't lead to more love, comfort, peace or happiness, and
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  Speaker 1: it only sets you up to not get what you want.
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  Speaker 1: Even more, it prolongs you staying in a situation that
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  Speaker 1: probably doesn't serve you. Well, why do you need to
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  Speaker 1: be around people that you feel you need to shrink for?
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  Speaker 1: So what do you have to do? You have to
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  Speaker 1: have a heart to heart with yourself. Take a breath,
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  Speaker 1: and you're gonna say, hey, self, this doesn't work. Shrinking
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  Speaker 1: to make other people comfortable does not work. Stand tall,
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  Speaker 1: hold my head high, speak my truth kindly and in peace,
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  Speaker 1: and now, if I really want to get what I
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  Speaker 1: want in this moment, being myself makes me magnetic. My
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  Speaker 1: authenticity attracts all that I desire, and shrinking is never
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  Speaker 1: my true nature. Something along those lines. Have that type
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  Speaker 1: of conversation with yourself and don't shortcut it. I really
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  Speaker 1: broke it. Down for you so your subconscious can get it.
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  Speaker 1: Because we only shrink to make other people comfortable, because
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  Speaker 1: we think in making other people comfortable, we're going to
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  Speaker 1: get our needs met. And that's just that just never works.
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  Speaker 1: It never ever ever works. And even if we fooled
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  Speaker 1: ourselves to thinking that we've made it work, it unravels
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  Speaker 1: really quickly, so somebody might be temporarily comfortable, but it
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  Speaker 1: still winds up being a mess, right, it doesn't. It
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  Speaker 1: doesn't turn any turned into anything either substantial or powerful.
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  Speaker 1: So tell you this story, because that's what flashes I'm
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  Speaker 1: talking here on the recording. So I was in college
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  Speaker 1: and I had started this organization and it was to
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  Speaker 1: help artists, artists helping artists essentially, and we were putting
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  Speaker 1: together a magazine and this was the days of zines,
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  Speaker 1: and you you know, you went to Kinko's and we
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  Speaker 1: had it bound and we were going to sell it
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  Speaker 1: at this event. And it was contributions from all sorts
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  Speaker 1: of creatives and so the guy that was over it,
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  Speaker 1: that was managing it, and granted this was the early
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  Speaker 1: two thousands, right, maybe two thousand and one, maybe two
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  Speaker 1: thousand and two and two thousand and one, and so still,
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  Speaker 1: you know, we're still learning how to We've revolutionized how
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  Speaker 1: to do graphics and various things. Put a book together.
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  Speaker 1: We can do it so easily now at home, but
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  Speaker 1: back then really no, Like you know, you're clicking around
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  Speaker 1: in Photoshop and it's clunky. And so I respected that.
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  Speaker 1: There was a guy on my team who had wanted
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  Speaker 1: to be a part of the organization, and he was
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  Speaker 1: putting it all together, and then it came to he
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  Speaker 1: had to go and negotiate with Kinkos on campus. No,
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  Speaker 1: it might might not even have been Kinkos, it might
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  Speaker 1: have just been the on campus printer so that we
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  Speaker 1: could get these printed, and he couldn't do it. And
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  Speaker 1: so so I winded up going and he went with me,
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  Speaker 1: but he was still trying to argue with the man, right,
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  Speaker 1: and so I wanted to turn to him and just
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  Speaker 1: be like, listen, we've got this, just let me handle it.
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  Speaker 1: It'll be fine. And I looked at him because he
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  Speaker 1: was a man, and pretty at that time in my life,
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  Speaker 1: attractive man. I felt like I had to shrink to
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  Speaker 1: his masculinity, if you will, because I guess that's what
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  Speaker 1: it was. And also I think a bit of arrogance
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  Speaker 1: and maybe some insecurity, but whatever I have felt, I
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  Speaker 1: had to shrink to get him to shut the fuck
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  Speaker 1: up so that I could get this done. And I
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  Speaker 1: look back on that and you know, I you know,
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  Speaker 1: like I said, like I was, like, he's cute and right,
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  Speaker 1: maybe that could be something. Right, These are all the
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  Speaker 1: things I was thinking, as you know, twenty one, twenty
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  Speaker 1: two year old, I think that maybe twenty one, and
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  Speaker 1: I got it done. We got it done, We got
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  Speaker 1: it done, and then he wound up leaving the organization.
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  Speaker 1: Like I had to do all that maneuvering energetically around him,
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  Speaker 1: and he just wind up bolding anyway. And what I
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  Speaker 1: learned from that is that in no way was I
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  Speaker 1: being disrespectful to anybody in that situation, but I knew
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  Speaker 1: that I needed to handle it at that point, right,
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  Speaker 1: he had too much too much going on to be
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  Speaker 1: able to have this conversation with this man so that
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  Speaker 1: we could get the right deal and the right amount
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  Speaker 1: of the right quality. Because this is you know, this
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  Speaker 1: where you might have a clear coat over it, and
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  Speaker 1: it was bound and you know olden times based on
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  Speaker 1: today's you know what we can do today. But yeah,
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  Speaker 1: and I thought about that all summer. I was like,
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  Speaker 1: I was trying to protect his ego quote quote shrinking,
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  Speaker 1: and he wanted up bolting anyway, So what did I learn?
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  Speaker 1: Don't shrink? Don't shrink? And so if I was going
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  Speaker 1: to go back and tell my younger self that say
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  Speaker 1: to him, you need to go, I got it. You
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  Speaker 1: need to go. You did a wonderful job. Let's focus
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  Speaker 1: on the let me get this printed. So I'm sharing
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  Speaker 1: this story with you because we have a lot of
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  Speaker 1: reasons why we shrink. Right. Our head makes up a
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  Speaker 1: lot of stories, as dewighte as shrink, and all of
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  Speaker 1: them are rooted in trying to get what we want right.
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  Speaker 1: Un Thus, in that moment, I wanted this boy to
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  Speaker 1: be like, she's a good leader. I want to be
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  Speaker 1: with her, right like because he was a cute boy.
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  Speaker 1: And so that wasn't the case, right, And so you
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  Speaker 1: have to check yourself. You know, this is a check
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  Speaker 1: yourself before you wreck yourself moment where you have to ask, Okay,
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  Speaker 1: what am I trying to get here? And shrinking, what
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  Speaker 1: am I trying to get here? Or what am I
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  Speaker 1: afraid of? What am I afraid? They might be thinking
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  Speaker 1: that's next level subconscious, and then from there you still
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  Speaker 1: need to have that conversation with yourself and say, listen,
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  Speaker 1: it doesn't work, it doesn't work. The way I get
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  Speaker 1: what I want in any situation is to be myself,
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  Speaker 1: to be my true self, my authentic self, to be
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  Speaker 1: my confident self. Confidence makes me magnetic. Tiptoeing around somebody
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  Speaker 1: being smaller than I am doesn't serve anybody well, and
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  Speaker 1: it wears on my self esteem. It wears on my
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  Speaker 1: ability to broadcast my frequency at the rate in which
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  Speaker 1: I need to to do what I need to do.
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  Speaker 1: And so the best course of action is to hold
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  Speaker 1: my head high, stand tall, speak my truth, kindly, be myself,
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  Speaker 1: trust your intuition, and then you'll see, Then you'll know,
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  Speaker 1: Then you'll know my brave This was helpful. Listen. I
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  Speaker 1: know spiritual principles makes sense as you're listening to a
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  Speaker 1: show like this. Personal development principles make sense as you're
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  Speaker 1: listening to a show like this, but it may be
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  Speaker 1: difficult to apply that wisdom in your real life. I
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  Speaker 1: accomplish in a year. Thank you so much for listening
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  Speaker 1: to this show. I look forward to connecting with you
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  Speaker 1: on the next Take care of yourself Goodbye,