Latest / Live 100 Podcast with Jason Yarusi / One Simple Ask Could Be Worth $800,000

Transcript

One Simple Ask Could Be Worth $800,000 · Live 100 Podcast with Jason Yarusi

• 0:00
  Speaker: What if one conversation, one uncomfortable ask, could be worth over $800,000?
• 0:06
  Speaker: And today we're talking about negotiation, money, and the invisible limits that we carry forward from our upbringing.
• 0:11
  Speaker: What did your upbringing teach you about what you're allowed to ask for?
• 0:15
  Speaker: Think back to that time when you were a kid.
• 0:17
  Speaker: These researchers projected that this initial difference, just this small ask could carry forward with raises, promotions, and future negotiation, adding more than $800,000 of income gained over the course of a 40-year span.
• 0:31
  Speaker: The point here is that one moment of silence would become a pattern, and patterns, they compound.
• 0:38
  Speaker: These researchers, they conducted five studies involving just thousands of workers, including more than 8,000 employees in Australia and 600 recent MBA graduates in the United States.
• 1:31
  Speaker: And here's what they found.
• 1:32
  Speaker: They found that lower socioeconomic backgrounds were less likely to negotiate for the competition.
• 1:37
  Speaker: And it wasn't necessarily because they lacked confidence or even ability.
• 1:41
  Speaker: It's because they were afraid of negotiating because that would be determining that they would just damage the relationship.
• 1:47
  Speaker: They didn't want to appear ungrateful.
• 1:49
  Speaker: They didn't want to create conflict, and they didn't want their employer to think differently about them.
• 1:54
  Speaker: So they just plainly accepted the offer.
• 1:56
  Speaker: However, the NBA graduates who did negotiate received approximately $7,000 more in starting competition compensation.
• 2:04
  Speaker: These researchers projected at this initial difference, just this small ask could carry forward with raises, promotions, and future negotiation, adding more than $800,000 of income gained over the course of a 40-year span.
• 2:19
  Speaker: Now, that doesn't mean that every simple negotiation will make you $800,000, but that's that's not the point here.
• 2:25
  Speaker: The point here is that one moment of silence can become a pattern.
• 2:29
  Speaker: And patterns, they compound.
• 2:32
  Speaker: We talk here about doing the little things, the little things they carry forward each and every day.
• 2:36
  Speaker: And we talk constantly about compound interest, right?
• 2:39
  Speaker: We about behaviors, right?
• 2:41
  Speaker: And how they can compound too, right?
• 2:43
  Speaker: Both in the positive and the negative.
• 2:45
  Speaker: However, one avoided conversation, it becomes another avoided conversation.
• 2:48
  Speaker: One opportunity that you didn't pursue becomes a lower starting point for the next opportunity.
• 2:53
  Speaker: One year of accepting less becomes a decade of believing that less is all you deserve.
• 2:59
  Speaker: Think about it right now.
• 3:00
  Speaker: How many in your mind are telling you that you're not worthy, worthy?
• 3:03
  Speaker: You're not worth it, you're not welcome, right?
• 3:05
  Speaker: It's that first ask matters because it establishes your baseline, not only financially, but psychologically.
• 3:12
  Speaker: Here's the deeper question: what did your upbringing teach you about what you're allowed to ask for?
• 3:17
  Speaker: Think back to that time when you were a kid.
• 3:20
  Speaker: So maybe surrounded by your parents or your grandparents.
• 3:22
  Speaker: And maybe you grew up hearing, well, just be thankful for what you get.
• 3:25
  Speaker: Hey, you don't want to make trouble.
• 3:27
  Speaker: Don't talk about money.
• 3:29
  Speaker: I know that's something that was very vibrant when I was growing up, right?
• 3:33
  Speaker: You just keep your head down and you work.
• 3:35
  Speaker: Now, these lessons, they may have helped you become responsible, respectful, and even hardworking, right?
• 3:41
  Speaker: And there's there's nothing wrong with that.
• 3:43
  Speaker: But they've also taught you that advocating for yourself is just ultimately selfish.
• 3:48
  Speaker: And that's the asking that makes it more difficult for the next ask.
• 3:52
  Speaker: The gratitude requires silence.
• 3:54
  Speaker: Well, it doesn't.
• 3:56
  Speaker: Do not confuse gratitude with silence here.
• 3:58
  Speaker: I mean, you you can appreciate an opportunity and still negotiate his terms.
• 4:00
  Speaker: You can respect one person and still disagree with their offer, right?
• 4:04
  Speaker: You can be humble with undervaluing yourself, but you can protect a relationship while advocating for yourself in some sound way.
• 4:11
  Speaker: Now, this isn't greed, right?
• 4:13
  Speaker: This is responsibility and it goes farther than just beyond your salary.
• 4:17
  Speaker: How many times have you accepted terms in a business, right?
• 4:20
  Speaker: Because you didn't want to accept the other person?
• 4:21
  Speaker: How many times have you just avoided asking for help because you didn't want to look like someone who wasn't capable?
• 4:27
  Speaker: I've been guilty of that many times myself, right?
• 4:30
  Speaker: That I wouldn't ask for help because I didn't want to look about that person who was lacking, or being that person in the room wouldn't raise their hand because I didn't want to look like I didn't know.
• 4:38
  Speaker: I how many times have you just stayed silent in your marriage or your team or in a partnership because you thought the honest conversation would be uncomfortable?
• 4:46
  Speaker: And you tell yourself, well, I this is in preservation of the relationship.
• 4:51
  Speaker: But often you're just postponing a conversation that's festering below and it's gonna allow the frustration that was there to ripen, to compound.
• 5:00
  Speaker: Negotiation, it doesn't have to be about defeating someone, right?
• 5:03
  Speaker: It's honestly about creating clarity.
• 5:05
  Speaker: It's saying, well, okay, thank you.
• 5:06
  Speaker: But here's what I say, here's what I see, and here's the value I can bring, here's what I need.
• 5:12
  Speaker: And how can we build an agreement that not only works for you, but also works for me?
• 5:17
  Speaker: It's not confrontation, it's about communication.
• 5:20
  Speaker: How many times have you accepted the offer, knowing out of the gate that you want to be happy with the offer, but you didn't want to upset this just to go and not be grateful for the opportunity because you were upset from the start.
• 5:33
  Speaker: And so here are three actions that you can practice this week.
• 5:36
  Speaker: First, identify what is it that you have been avoiding?
• 5:40
  Speaker: Maybe it's competition or maybe it's compensation, maybe it's better loan terms, maybe you're a business owner and you're not asking to employee to step up and take ownership.
• 5:52
  Speaker: Maybe you're not asking your spouse for the support you need or telling them what you need.
• 5:57
  Speaker: Write this down.
• 5:58
  Speaker: And it's not that you can't name it.
• 6:01
  Speaker: It's not that you can't put it out there, but write it down.
• 6:04
  Speaker: If you cannot name the ask, how can you make it?
• 6:07
  Speaker: Second, separate the relationship from the request.
• 6:10
  Speaker: Someone can decline your request without rejecting you.
• 6:13
  Speaker: You can hear no from someone without taking it personally.
• 6:17
  Speaker: You can just disagree about terms without destroying the relationship.
• 6:21
  Speaker: Make sure you understand the underlying fact of the request and how that differs from a relationship because a healthy relationship doesn't just fail because someone asks and someone else says no.
• 6:32
  Speaker: Third, build the evidence.
• 6:33
  Speaker: Don't simply say, I want more.
• 6:35
  Speaker: Hey, can you just give me more money?
• 6:36
  Speaker: I come prepared to show the value.
• 6:40
  Speaker: Bring the numbers, explain the outcome, make your request clear, specific, and reasonable.
• 6:44
  Speaker: Then stop talking.
• 6:45
  Speaker: I talk to my kids a lot about this, right?
• 6:48
  Speaker: Is that don't sell past the close.
• 6:50
  Speaker: When you get what you want, don't keep talking and explaining why you should have it, right?
• 6:55
  Speaker: Give the other person room to answer.
• 6:57
  Speaker: You don't need to apologize for asking.
• 6:58
  Speaker: You don't need to negotiate against yourself.
• 7:01
  Speaker: And you don't need to immediately fill in silence by lowering your request.
• 7:05
  Speaker: One of the best negotiation tactics that I have ever been taught is that state your request and then simply be silent.
• 7:12
  Speaker: You will see the other person in that uncomfortable series of silence and lack of conversation will feel compelled to come back and speak, compelled to come back and talk.
• 7:24
  Speaker: And you make the ask and you let it stand.
• 7:26
  Speaker: So there's one more side to this research that we can't ignore.
• 7:29
  Speaker: The study found that people with lower social and economic backgrounds sometimes just face greater backlash when they did negotiate.
• 7:36
  Speaker: So the lesson is not that every room is fair, right?
• 7:40
  Speaker: The lesson is that leaders have a responsibility to build clear, transparent systems around compensation, advancement, opportunity.
• 7:47
  Speaker: And if you lead a company, you don't tell people, you know, don't tell people to speak up and then punish them for doing this.
• 7:53
  Speaker: We here empower our company, right?
• 7:56
  Speaker: We want here for people to take control, be responsible, and be leaders in their own way.
• 8:01
  Speaker: And it helps them bring them up.
• 8:03
  Speaker: And if we can build people, right, to a point that they can go out there and lead themselves in other ways, we've done our job.
• 8:08
  Speaker: If they can help grow us in our company because of how they've grown here, fantastic.
• 8:13
  Speaker: We've done our job.
• 8:14
  Speaker: You have to make the rules visible, explain how decisions are made, create a culture where respectful negotiation isn't just treat as communication, right?
• 8:23
  Speaker: It's not disloyalty.
• 8:24
  Speaker: It's for people standing up, understanding how they're adding value, and then showing us how they're adding value.
• 8:30
  Speaker: So your Lib 100 challenge is this.
• 8:32
  Speaker: By the end of this week, make one clear ask that you've been avoiding.
• 8:37
  Speaker: Now, don't be reckless.
• 8:38
  Speaker: That's not what this is about.
• 8:39
  Speaker: Don't be arrogant.
• 8:41
  Speaker: Make it respectfully, confidently, and with evidence.
• 8:44
  Speaker: The answer?
• 8:45
  Speaker: It may be no.
• 8:46
  Speaker: But a no doesn't always stop there.
• 8:50
  Speaker: You have to get a no to follow and find a yes.
• 8:52
  Speaker: Silence, it gives you nothing.
• 8:54
  Speaker: So I tell you, if you don't make that ask, we already know that the answer is no.
• 8:58
  Speaker: Your upbringing may explain why you hesitate, but it does not control what you do next.
• 9:04
  Speaker: You don't have to dishonor where you came from just by asking more.
• 9:08
  Speaker: We're not telling you to go against your societal beliefs, right?
• 9:11
  Speaker: We're saying that you have to decide where you go from here.
• 9:14
  Speaker: Gratitude and growth, they can exist together.
• 9:17
  Speaker: Humility and confidence, they can exist together.
• 9:19
  Speaker: Respect and negotiation can also find a path forward.
• 9:23
  Speaker: Four, three, two, one, go.
• 9:27
  Speaker: That's what I have for you today.
• 9:28
  Speaker: This is the Live 100 Podcast.
• 9:30
  Speaker: Go out there and find that $800,000 of worth that you grant live a life to your best.
• 9:36
  Speaker: Let's do this.