Latest / The Family Teams Podcast / Ep. 14 | How to Have a Meaningful Weekday Meal

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Ep. 14 | How to Have a Meaningful Weekday Meal · The Family Teams Podcast

• 0:06
  Hey guys, welcome to the 5-Minute Fatherhood Podcast. I'm your co-host, Jeff Beth Key, along with my friend and mentor, Jeremy Pryor. Join us Monday through Friday as we chat about quick tips, skills, and ways to help equip you on your journey as a father to build your multi-generational family team on mission. Stay tuned.
• 0:27
  All right, guys, welcome back to 5-Minute Fatherhood. We hope you're enjoying your week. Today we have a special episode for you, and that is how to have a meaningful weekday meal. Now, if you've listened to this podcast long enough or if you've kind of engaged with some of the other family team stuff, you know we're big on whether you call it a Shabbat meal or a high-zenith big-picture party meal once a week. This is not what we're talking about right now. We're talking about in the microwave. Like, you have to eat...
• 0:49
  every day, multiple times per week anyways, or multiple times per day. So we're just saying, how can you kind of take advantage of that in a really small micro way, not the huge family meal once a week, um, to just make it a little bit more meaningful because you have to eat anyways. That's our philosophy. And so we try to put as much easy training or meaning at the table as possible, because like I said, you have to sit there and eat anyway. So Jeremy, what would you say about how to have a meaningful, easy, simple weekday meal or little things you guys do?
• 1:17
  This is a huge way that you shape your family's culture. And I didn't really have a vision for this for a long time until I watched a documentary about Thomas Jefferson, and he had this house he built called Monticello. And the documentary was talking about what a night, the typical night at Monticello was like, what Thomas Jefferson would do. And it described that there was always an epic conversation going on. Of course, you think about Thomas Jefferson, who really framed so many— No wonder they're all so smart.
• 1:46
  That's right. There's something that was going on in those meals, and I didn't realize that's what was happening. And part of what they would do is they would have these epic conversations, topics that would come up about liberty and about democracy, all the things that we've learned from Thomas Jefferson or a lot of the other founders of America.
• 2:05
  because there were deep conversations going on, and it talked about how they'd often retired into the parlor, and this conversation had gone on for four hours, and that was a typical night at Monticello. And so when I saw that, I'm like, okay, that's kind of crazy high bar. Maybe you've got three-year-olds or something. You're like, okay, how does that relate to us? Yeah, let's solve theodicy and God's evil and providence in one-table conversation.
• 2:26
  But I would say that one of the things I would—the way that I think about how to engage in a table conversation with my kids is whatever I am thinking about throughout the week, I want to cut up in little bite-sized nuggets and try to feed it to them maybe one smidge level above where they're at. Because I want to stretch them a little bit. So maybe there's something going on in politics or something going on in theology or something in your Bible reading or just something that happened at work or whatever that's on your mind that you maybe have thought about, journaled about.
• 2:56
  You could just be kind of the clam at the table, which a lot of dads are, and I know that I have that capacity to just sort of sit there and be tired and not very verbal and sort of introverted. So that's a challenge for me. But I think when I really push into this or lean into this, I want to bring up topics.
• 3:12
  and just engage my kids in a conversation that really stretches them intellectually, emotionally, spiritually. And I don't want to invent topics or feel like this is some big burden. So all I try to do is—it's about a 10-second, two-step process. What am I thinking about? Okay, this is kind of what's on my mind. And then how can I cut that up into bite-sized pieces that might initiate a conversation at the table? And this could happen, of course, between you and your wife if your kids are really small—
• 3:41
  And you can let them sort of listen in and you can try to engage them as they're able. But as they get older, you want them to be like really stretching to go, what is mommy and daddy talking about? Like, what is this topic about? Why does it matter to them? And that is a powerful thing that you can create at the dinner table and make that time really interesting and meaningful for your family.
• 4:02
  Totally. And I will say me being a little bit more talkative, I cannot wait till someone like I know, I know the Betheskies are going to be that table where we're discussing crazy things, deep things, long tables. But for now with the four year old, two year old, we try to go a little simpler, but I can't wait for those days. And so a couple, a couple of quick, quick tips, dads out there. If you're, if it's younger, we try to do really small bite-sized things that are almost, I like to say liturgical. So just these things that are just getting pounded into their head in like 60 second ways, just day and day and day and day in and out.
• 4:29
  And so we do a couple of things. One of them is we call it, we call it the breakfast benediction and it's actually a prayer or, or a, um, liturgical phrase if you want to call it that or a, almost like a creed, um, that we found from Bobby Shuler, pastor in California. He doesn't call it the breakfast benediction. It's actually this thing he does. He's a pastor and he, it's actually the benediction for the church where they stand up, they put their aunt, they, they put their, raise their palms.
• 4:52
  And they say the benediction to start the service. And it's, you know, I think it's like, I'm not gonna do the whole thing, but it's, you say like, I, I'm not what I do. I am, I am not, what's the other one? Oh, I'm blanking on right now. And it says, I am a child of God. I don't have to worry. I don't have to hurry. It's just like a declaration of truths from the scripture, things that you are not and things that you are. And we literally do that every single morning to start breakfast. It takes probably 45 seconds, 45 seconds. The kids love it. We've made it almost kind of a fun thing where you can say it in funny voices. You can say it however you want.
• 5:21
  Um, so there's that one. Um, we do a thing thing where we go around and say what we're thankful for every single day Anytime we're at the table and because we want to create a culture of micro thankfulness Not like oh i'm thankful that got this huge gift or we went on this huge trip But it's like oh i'm thankful that we get to eat right now Um, you know kinsley will say like oh i'm thankful for aslin our dog and I gotta pet him He's so soft like it's just random little things that you're thankful for creates a culture of that um
• 5:46
  And then what's the last one? There was one other one I was thinking of. I'm not sure I can remember, but essentially what I think guys is this, why this is important is it doesn't have to be big. It can be micro.
• 5:56
  And that's actually where a lot of the power is. And then to any study on important family, like any other, any other religions or people groups or whatever that have a high view of the table, always, I mean, all that have a high view of family always have a high view of the table. It's the place where this stuff happens. It's the place where this stuff.
• 6:17
  where you form a family identity, where you form a family culture, and you're playing the long game. So you're thinking about what this is going to do over 20 years at the table, not what this is going to do in two days. So whether that's, you know, the Jewish people who obviously crush at the fan at the table and have an amazing theology of the table, every single holiday they have is surrounded and taught through food and taught through the table, whether that's Amish people who have a high view of family who can't,
• 6:43
  you know, they always have three books at the table. It's the Bible, a song book, because they sing songs together, and then Martyr's Mirror, which is essentially their Fox's book of martyrs. And so they basically tell the story of the church, sing songs about the church, and then read about the Lord all the time at the table. There's a bunch of little different things. But it's very clear that there's a connection between strong table, strong family. So yeah, we hope you guys enjoyed that one. Take those tips, take those small ones. Unless, Jeremy, did you have anything else?
• 7:08
  Yeah, just don't be afraid to hold forth at the table a little bit. Don't be domineering in a way that turns off your kids. But definitely they want to know what's banging around inside of your head. They want to get close to that. And so I think it's important that that become a part of the culture. So what you're thinking about, try to express.
• 7:28
  try to initiate and get into their heads, ask open-ended questions, but be a leader of table discussions. Learn the skill of holding forth, being conversational, having deep discussions, bringing up good topics, leading the conversation somewhere meaningful. And man, that's going to be a rich place. It's where education really is founded, I think, in a lot of homes is around what happens at the table. And you as a dad can really shape that.
• 7:57
  Hey guys, we know it's really challenging to try to build your family team when all the tools you've grown up with or seen essentially are aimed at only helping develop family members as a collection of individuals. That's why we launched familyteams.com, where you can find all the tools we've developed with tons of resources at different price points, free courses, videos, writings, etc. that help you build up and transform you and your family into a multi-generational team on mission. Check out all the resources we have over at familyteams.com.