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How Do I Live in Financial Peace and Keep Stress from Coming Back? · Becoming Financially Confident

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  You've got a budget.
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  You're tracking your expenses, you know where your money should go, but spending
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  for you still feels chaotic sometimes.
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  Like money slips right through your fingers.
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  What if setting clear rules around spending isn't just restrictive?
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  Brings you more control and more importantly, brings you more peace.
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  I'm gonna show you how to do that on today's show.
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  Welcome back.
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  I'm Ralph, and it's great to be with you here again as we
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  answer our one key question.
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  That is, how can I become a financially confident Christian?
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  And today we continue our series dealing with the stress of money
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  worries, and we just got past a couple days talking about home ownership.
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  And we've talked in this series about budgeting and we've talked
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  about savings and we've talked about tackling debt, managing credit.
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  And if you're following along, you're doing great.
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  You're, you're telling your money exactly where it needs to go.
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  Today we're gonna take it even a step further.
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  Yes, there is a step further that we can go.
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  And we're gonna focus on your spending habits that cause you stress, those
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  things that will cause you stress if you don't keep them in check.
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  And today I'm gonna talk about building some personal spending rules.
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  These spending rules are gonna help you support your budget, and they're
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  gonna bring freedom within your plan.
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  So let's ask the pertinent question for today, and that is,
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  how can setting personal spending rules give me more freedom?
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  And best of all, give me less stress.
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  See, here's the truth.
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  Even with a budget, if you're like me and like most other people,
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  you're listening right now, you're like, Ralph, yeah, that's great.
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  But some spending categories, Ralph, they just feel hard to manage.
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  I know for me, sometimes it's eaten out, dying out 'cause it becomes complicated.
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  Or maybe for you it's that impulse buying or those entertainment expenses.
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  Hey, everybody deserves to get some entertainment and you've done a good
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  job of budgeting for all them, but you still just happen to go over them
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  and you beat yourself up about it.
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  It leads to frustration.
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  You're frustrated like, I put this number down Ralph, but I
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  just can't seem to stick to it.
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  And then you feel guilty about it.
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  You, you, you budgeted.
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  You put the numbers on the paper and you've went over your budget and now
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  you feel frustrated, you feel guilty.
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  And what does all that dings do?
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  All those things just build more stress and honestly, you look at it, you feel
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  like your money is just vanishing away in these areas and see when your money
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  vans away, it makes it harder to save it.
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  It's hard to save if you don't have any excess or or margin.
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  I've talked about it on the show many times.
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  It's harder to pay off debt when you don't have that margin, when you're not really
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  laser focusing on where your money goes.
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  And the big, big picture is it's hard to stay in financial control
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  if you're letting those budget areas just slip away from you.
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  Because here's the thing, you've got to understand.
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  If you're not intentional with your spending, that unintentional spending
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  just means that money just happens to you.
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  Hear me on that.
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  Money just happens to you, and when it just happens to you, It
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  usually means that it doesn't align with your values or your goals.
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  So you might be sitting there going, Ralph, how do I get past this?
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  Well, honestly, I think the best way to do it is put together some
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  personal spending rules, because then you have what I'll call intentional
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  boundaries and those intentional boundaries protect your priorities.
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  Just the other night I gave a talk to my softball friends with the guys that
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  play on the softball team with me.
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  We were talking about the book of Galatians, chapter five, verses 22 and
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  23, and I don't have time to cover it right now, but I want you to read it
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  because it talks about self-control being a fruit of the spirit, and
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  that's really what I'm talking about.
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  These personal spending rules are really intentional boundaries
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  that protect your priorities.
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  Look at the book of Proverbs, chapter four, verse 23.
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  It says this Above all else.
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  Above all else, guard your heart.
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  Everything you do flows from it above all else, guard your heart for
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  everything you do, flows from it.
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  What does that mean?
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  That means that Your spending flows from your heart.
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  You're spending flows from your habits.
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  And if you can create some guides to help guide that flow towards peace and
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  towards wise stewardship, it's kinda like an athlete training for victory.
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  We're training for victory.
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  Look at one Corinthians chapter nine, verse 25.
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  It calls us to be disciplined for a greater prize.
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  So now you're asking Ralph, what do we do?
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  Well, here's what you do.
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  My my humble opinion is this.
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  You gotta move from unintentional to intentional spending with one simple step.
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  I want you to just identify one or two spending areas where you lack control.
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  You're looking at those numbers, you're like, Ralph, I've got the budget,
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  but man, every time I look at my budget, I'm always way over on those.
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  I get it.
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  I've been there.
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  I, the same thing happens to me, and this is what I do for a living, but this is
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  the place where you create those clear personal spending rules for those areas.
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  Now, here's the thing I want you to understand.
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  You're in complete control here.
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  These are boundaries that are made by you.
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  They're made for you, and they're simply tools that help you stick to your plan.
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  So here's your one action step for today.
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  This is a some practical steps to help you get to that point.
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  The first step is to identify those leaky areas.
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  You gotta look through your spending data.
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  Ask yourself these questions.
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  Where does money disappear?
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  You know, what are those areas where I'm always over budget?
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  You know, where do you overspend or do you act impulsively,
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  because that's part of it too.
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  If you're acting impulsively, that's when you gotta look at.
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  So once you've done that, choose one or two categories.
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  Maybe for you it's, it's dining out of that, online shopping, or
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  maybe just impulsive shopping.
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  So once you've identified one or two of those, the second step
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  is to create just a simple rule.
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  Just one per category.
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  Make it easy to remember and make it easy to apply, because if you
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  make it easy, you're gonna do it.
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  As an example, here's a great rule.
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  If you struggle with eating out, set a rule that, oh, I'm only
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  going to eat out once a week.
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  That doesn't mean all three meals once a week.
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  That just means just once a week.
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  Now, maybe for you, it's that impulsive buying, and I've
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  talked repeatedly about this.
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  So for you, maybe you put in that pause, that wait 24 hours or 48
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  hours even before you, before you buy any online purchase, over $25.
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  Again, you set the number.
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  You set the rule because it's your rule to live by.
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  Or maybe for you, it's that coffee habit.
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  Now I'm gonna pick on coffee shops again, but maybe say, look, I'm
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  only gonna do that twice a week.
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  Maybe for you it's that grocery trip and you say, look, here's
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  what I'm gonna do, Ralph.
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  Here's my rule for myself.
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  I'm only gonna buy what's on my list.
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  So you figured out those categories.
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  You came up with the rules.
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  The third step is the crucial step, and that's write it down, put
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  it somewhere where it's visible.
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  Maybe you put it in your wallet.
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  I've seen people take a piece of paper and wrap it around their credit card.
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  So before they use the credit card, they go and see, does this pass my rules?
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  Maybe you put it as a phone screen or maybe use a budgeting app, or maybe it's
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  the online shopping, it's bothering you.
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  See, take some sticky notes and stick 'em right to the front of
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  your computer or onto your laptop.
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  I just wanna remind you of one more thing.
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  You're not alone on this journey.
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  So the last stage, step four of this is to pray for strength.
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  We have a loving God that wants to help us, so ask God for self-control.
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  Lord, just help me get past these obstacles.
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  Help me adhere to these rules that I've created.
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  It's a great time to ask Lord for clarity.
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  Lord, show me how I can do this better.
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  How can I make better decisions?
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  Then finally, ask the Lord to help you with that commitment
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  to follow your rules this week.
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  And now you're probably asking Rob, okay, that sounds good, but how does this work?
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  Why does it work?
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  Well, here's why it works, because it creates boundaries that
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  replace those vague intentions.
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  Again, it creates intentionality.
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  If you don't have intentionality, things are gonna go haywire.
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  But if you have intentionality.
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  It's going to help because it helps you say no to those impulse buys.
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  pre-deciding.
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  Was this in my rule book?
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  And all of that leads to reduced stress and supporting the progress that you're
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  making to reinforce your budget and reinforce your values and your goals.
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  Let's pray about this together.
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  Father God, we just thank you for giving us the fruit of the
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  spirit, including self-control.
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  And Lord, we confess that we often struggle with impulse spending
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  or any of the other things that we've talked about today.
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  And Lord, we ask that you would grant us wisdom to identify our weak spots.
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  Help us create clear and simple rules that reflect our values, Lord, and strengthen
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  us, because we're gonna need it.
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  Lord, strengthen us to stick to these rules that we've created and guide our
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  habits to bring peace and to reflect your wisdom, Lord, your perfect wisdom.
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  And we ask this with confidence.
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  In Jesus' name,
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  Amen.
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  So my big takeaway today, my friend, is to embrace personal rules, not as a
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  restriction, but as a tool for freedom.
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  These really are tools for freedom because they can give you control over your money.
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  They can help you align your spending with your values.
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  And I'm gonna encourage you today, start with just one rule.
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  You don't have to have this big, long rule book.
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  Look at those big, pressure points for you and just implement one rule.
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  Because listen, you're making real progress and taking one step at a time.
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  That's how confidence is built.
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  And I'm just gonna encourage you, if today's show helped you, do me a
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  huge favor and share it with other people, share it with someone else
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  who needs to hear this message.
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  You can also visit financially confident christian.com for more resources
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  And again, for the first a hundred listeners that go to financially
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  confident christian.com/master, I'm gonna give you a free copy of my book.
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  You can also tell your friends about it.
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  It's called Mastering Your Finances.
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  It's a short read, but it will be impactful to you.
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  Now, tomorrow we're gonna talk about something that is contradictory.
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  Ready for this one?
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  It's this question, how can giving actually reduce my money?
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  Stress?
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  Yes, I'm gonna share some beautiful things tomorrow on the show.
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  You don't wanna miss it, so I just wanna encourage you now.
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  Stay strong, let's go out there and be let.
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  Financially confident Christians, I believe in you.
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  Believe in yourself.
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  God bless you, and you have a great day today.