Latest / LeadingLane Podcast / Mastering Routines and the Powerful Impact They Have | LeadingLane Podcast | Ep 3
Transcript
- Steven L Burch (00:02.064) So we're just going to go into it, I guess, right? Like because I'm going to get scolded that I don't have a morning routine. New year, new me. Maybe that's maybe that's what I should start on, right? To be honest with you for like the routine aspect of it, I used to get up because I could not sleep at the most absurd times in the morning. Yeah, so like I would get up and I would have this like anxiety that would Ashley Fredrick (00:07.598) Uh-huh. Ashley Fredrick (00:24.394) Yes, I heard calling you telling you to go to the office. Steven L Burch (00:31.684) Like because I'm up, I should be working and doing productive things. So regardless, if it's at three, four o'clock in the morning, I would get up, get ready, and I would go into the office and start working at three or four o'clock in the morning. Um, and so I don't have that. Yeah. It's horrible. Like why, why do that to myself? And I would stay all day. Right. Um, but no, I never had a healthy morning routine whatsoever. Ashley Fredrick (00:45.55) craziness. Steven L Burch (00:58.872) So I would love to hear what you have laid it me. Let me know so I can start taking notes and seeing if I can start implementing it. Ashley Fredrick (01:06.296) All right. I am pretty much a stickler for morning routines. And I think where that came into, right, again, like it's all this like self-development, et cetera, but I am a firm believer that if you aren't taking care of yourself, you can't take care of others. So you know that I'm someone that tries to help everyone, wants to be there for everyone, but I felt like Steven L Burch (01:22.416) Mm-hmm. Ashley Fredrick (01:30.086) I was wasting my mornings, like I was getting up late, I wasn't making healthy choices. And then at the end of the day, like that makes me crappy. That makes me, you know, I don't feel like it makes me as prepared for the craziness that comes up in one day. So I really got actually it started with I read the 5am club. The book, the 5am club. You have read it. And we're just not implementing right now. Steven L Burch (01:51.924) Mm-hmm. I've read that too. I have read it. Yes. Ashley Fredrick (01:59.396) Thank you. Steven L Burch (02:00.26) Well, I think I took it like I was trying to go the extra mile and be the 4 a.m. club apparently, so I don't know Ashley Fredrick (02:05.975) Okay. So I didn't necessarily take it as like, quote unquote the 5 a.m. So originally after I read it, I was like, there's no way I'm waking up at 5 a.m. And so I just started with six, but it also helped because I started in the summer and it's light out. But over time, like I just felt like I still wasn't getting done what I wanted to get done in my morning routine. So I get up typically in between five and 5.30 now. It is pitch black right now. Steven L Burch (02:17.946) Mm-hmm. Ashley Fredrick (02:33.822) So I will say that makes it a little bit more easier to press the snooze button. But I also changed my alarm as of recent. And it's who runs the world. Girls. So that's when my alarm to get up in the morning. So literally, literally the minute I get up, I'm already thinking about running the world. So that definitely helps. And then Steven L Burch (02:44.101) Hmm. Ashley Fredrick (03:01.314) Some shifting obviously too as to what I'm doing with Maya, but within the first like 30 to 45 minutes there has to be some type of physical activity. So weights have always been a really important thing for me. I've done the cardio, like I've done the 5k's, it's really just not my cup of tea. So there's a lot to be said for strength training right, but I think I told you that as of recent, um, she considers my adrenals to be in a crashed state. Um, so lifting weights. Yeah. So lifting weights is, um, like on the not to do list right now. We'll get back to it. Um, so right now really it's just a matter of like a 20 minute walk on our treadmill. Um, and then, um, normally have, uh, some type of protein shake within the first 45 minutes too, so like all within that hour. Steven L Burch (03:33.741) I'm Nighttail. Ashley Fredrick (03:53.078) Um, the really big thing that I struggled with to do, like when I'm not on the treadmill is to not go on my phone. Um, but I really don't like check anything until like seven or eight at this point in time. Um, so like that's reserved for like me time. So, um, on my treadmill, it's actually, I think I sent you a picture the other day, like you can pick beaches and whatnot, but they actually like, we'll give you history lessons too, so I learned a lot more about Mexico this morning. Steven L Burch (04:07.257) video. Ashley Fredrick (04:20.498) Um, another place we can visit. Um, you know, I think something else was like some, uh, it was in England and there was a tower and it tells a history. So it was kind of just cool to listen to that. Otherwise I'll listen to Matt audible while I'm on it, but like hardcore, not doing anything social media or email related. Um, I had my shake and then, um, you know, that I'm a, a shock D Matt fan. Uh, I think you do yours at night. I like to do mine in the morning. Steven L Burch (04:46.952) For those of you that don't know what, like I call it a shiitake mat. Like it's not a shiitake mat. Like what is it and how do you pronounce it? Yeah, that's what, like I tell Ryan, like I'm gonna go do my mushroom mat. But it's legit, like these spikes, it's a mat that has these spikes. It's basically for, you know, like acro-prontrol. There you go, bed of nails. So anyways, go ahead, sorry. Ashley Fredrick (04:51.422) Shit. Ashley Fredrick (04:55.21) Shafi. Shataki. Yeah. You'd have some mushrooms right here. Ashley Fredrick (05:11.733) nails. Ashley Fredrick (05:15.818) No, so um, I remember somebody put it on Facebook a couple years ago and I used to do acupuncture, so I was like, I mean if I could do that at home. Um, so yeah, it's like literally this mat, but of nails, you can actually have like a cushion too, like that you want to put underneath your neck, so I have both. And the goal is relaxation. So really, I aim for like 15 minutes. Um, when you first start, I mean that's a little intense, like they say that it feels like a sunburn, which I would agree with. But it is. oddly strange that by like, you know, eight to 10 minutes, like you're just like, I mean, I could fall asleep if I wanted to, but I've tried to change it more to like, like meditation or, because I like to multitask, like lately I've been like laying down and like reading a book at the same time. Cause you know, why not make use of your time? So I do that. And then I really liked it after that, or if I didn't read well, I was doing that. I like to just read 10 pages in a book. I'm a big proponent of either like reading or audible. So that's like the first like hour. So like literally I haven't like talked to another human being. I haven't looked on my phone. It's just been all things to more or less like mentally and physically prep myself for the day. And then when I get ready, I normally listen to a audible. All kinds of things. For me, it's normally things to keep you motivated, things to help you problem solve. And then about. Like 730 or so is when I'll start to check on things because I just feel like so easy to get distracted or like if somebody Said it sent a stupid email like I don't want that to ruin my morning So that's why like that morning routine is protected for me so that I can get through it without interruptions Steven L Burch (07:03.85) So what time do you typically get to the office? Ashley Fredrick (07:07.098) Um, probably like 8.45 to 9. So our office opens like at 8.30 and the girls are typically there at 8.30, 8.45. But I like that time too of like just quietness at home kind of like dinging out the first couple things that need to be done. I'm also a huge proponent for like scheduling messages. So like in my email and in my text messages, you know sometimes I mean I think that everyone should work on their boundaries as far as time. And we shouldn't necessarily be getting text messages at 530 a.m. So a lot of times I'll, if I do something at seven, I'll schedule it for, you know, to send at eight or whatnot. So to me, like it's a good chunk of time, but it's an uninterrupted like, no, sorry, that doesn't happen. Can't happen at that time. Steven L Burch (07:54.012) Well, I think it's most important. So it was very eye-opening. A, I don't really have, again, a true routine in the morning. But I was working with somebody once and she told me, she was like, if something were to happen to you, what would happen to your business? And I said, well, I am my business. And she goes, exactly. She was like, so you are your business and you're working so hard on your business. but you're not working on yourself. So therefore, you're not really truly working on your business, you're neglecting half of your business essentially. So I did change my mindset of I am my business and so I have to work on myself first to be able to then start truly giving my true authentic self to everybody else and being able to help everyone else. And I really think that this also goes to, for me, of who you surround yourself with professional development or different opportunities to grow and learn because if I didn't surround myself with people that I have in the past Three four years even with that even the people that I eliminated out of my life in the last few years, too Like I have to make sure that I'm taking control in setting those boundaries For myself and I'm now recognizing that so with Maya I do have a written out what my routines are going to be and very similar. Those are the things protein, you know, within the first 45. I learned that my entire life, I have looked at food in a completely different way than a lot of people. I cheered D1 and so therefore I was around people constantly that were, you know, we would have a celery stick or a cucumber and like look at portion size, like that's it. Ashley Fredrick (09:46.638) Thank you. Steven L Burch (09:48.012) And so it was all about calories and the sizing. Well, after working with her, I'm not getting nearly enough protein. And so with my sleep schedule, I'm in fight and flight. Of course my body is so out of whack because I'm not gonna be doing things consistently. So I have to force myself to do that. But I first have to take care of myself at the end of the day. So definitely great. Ashley Fredrick (10:29.686) Yeah, I Ashley Fredrick (10:41.712) lunch for me. I know I'm 110% spoiled. He does. But that's the other thing, right? Especially in real estate, I felt like, was it like two summers ago when you could barely find time to pee? I mean, I wouldn't eat all day. All day. And then you get up and you do it all over again and I can, looking back, I wasn't in my best form. I definitely wasn't mentally prepared for all of the things that were coming on. Like, had I just done those Steven L Burch (10:45.676) He takes good care of you. Steven L Burch (10:55.868) Mm-hmm. Ashley Fredrick (11:09.022) few simple steps where like now I, it's like a, it's a coolery take with me, cause right? I don't know if I'm going to be at the office, I don't know if I'm going to be at the road or whatnot, but now I have like my snacks in there, my lunch in there. So like if I keep myself fueled mentally and via food throughout the day, like that just helps throughout the whole entire day. Steven L Burch (11:27.132) Absolutely, like, I mean, that is, it's literally like putting a log on the fire. Like, if you don't, if you're not putting the log, your food into your body like that, you're just gonna fizzle out and you're gonna have the ambers and like whatever, I mean, smogging up or whatever it is, the terminology. But no, like I wanted to be running on all cylinders and I have to be versus forcing myself, which then I was truly neglecting myself at the end of the day. So it is, Ashley Fredrick (11:31.883) Mm-hmm. Steven L Burch (11:56.932) very eye-opening. And I think it goes back to when we were talking about, it must be nice and these different struggles that we have in real estate and sales, business, entrepreneurship. I mean, you have to be able to go and that's what you're making money. And so when money is the number one driving factor, you're not really looking at anything else other than what is going to produce that income for you. And it's, you have to go, go. But in reality, it's not a go, go. It's a... it's making sure that you're smarter, you're working smarter, not harder. And I definitely was putting my body into overload. So I'm working on it. We'll see how all of that goes. Ashley Fredrick (12:38.787) So what one thing are you going to implement for the morning? Steven L Burch (12:42.88) So I really like to read in the morning. Yeah, and so I'd like to, like, if I force myself, right, like, or get in the habit of doing it, to me, it's something that I wanna be able to learn and typically I'm reading, you know, professional development type of stuff. So it helps me truly start my day in my mind as a leader and making sure that I'm able to contribute at least something new to the world that I learned. and pass it on to the next person. So that has been a definitely something that I am going to re-implement. My challenge to myself, it's gonna be really difficult, is my phone. Like I feel like my phone is attached to me constantly. So, but my goal that I'm going to be doing, my challenge is not getting onto any of the... Ashley Fredrick (13:29.111) or enemy. Steven L Burch (13:38.528) emails or checking my text messages or checking anything on social like use it for my alarm, maybe even buying a new alarm and just putting my phone somewhere else. Because that sends you out a spiral really freaking quick. And I already have ADHD. So, you know, I'm looking for. Yes, I'm looking for that dopamine hit real quick in the morning. But I don't want to get sidetracked by other people's worlds. Ashley Fredrick (13:52.234) real fast. Steven L Burch (14:06.829) It's then going to be bringing my world down and then affecting my entire day. That's not the best version of myself showing up whatsoever. Ashley Fredrick (14:13.962) and this year like do not disturb. Steven L Burch (14:17.108) Yes, my do not stirp is on like almost 24 7 to be Ashley Fredrick (14:20.318) Okay, but like, so mine, like, so it doesn't notify you if somebody texts message you or something? Oh, okay. Well, mine does that. Steven L Burch (14:26.012) Mm-mm. No. And if you had an iPhone, you would then, like the other iPhone user sees on their side that have mine on, do not disturb. So, yeah. Ashley Fredrick (14:38.49) So mine is just like, I think it starts at nine and then it doesn't come back on until seven and that I don't get any of the notifications. So like Facebook, whatever, like they'll come through at seven. So I think that that's helped me like train to not look at it. But I think it's just a matter of trying to be aware. Right. Because like it's so easy to I think it does. I don't necessarily have urban ADHD, but like. I can't sit still, like that's my problem. Like that's a very hard thing for me to do even at night. Um, but right. Like if we're not feeding our brains with like the right type of stuff, then I think it's easier to get distracted. So I think that'll be a, I think maybe you'll just have to have like Ryan hydrophone for the first like hour. It could be like a game. Where's Steven's phone? Steven L Burch (15:21.588) Oh, sometimes that is a true game that happens, but you know, oh well. It's attached to your face. Um, so I asked my agents, um, of course we're going through, you know, doing goals and everything else, um, what is something that you're going to stop doing? What are you going to stop doing in 2024? Ashley Fredrick (15:25.366) Best is when I'm on my phone and I'm like, where's my phone? Ashley Fredrick (15:30.928) Ha! Ashley Fredrick (15:45.494) Hmm. That's a good one. Are you asking me? Oh, what am I gonna stop doing? Hmm. That's a hard one. So many things I should stop doing. Um, so I mean, the phone is obviously one thing I'm working on because I just need to Steven L Burch (15:49.4) Yeah, I'm asking you. Yeah, you put me on the spot. I'm gonna put you on the spot. What are you gonna start doing? Ashley Fredrick (16:11.998) You know, and like, um, we used to do it when we would go out to dinner with friends, which we just don't do as much, you know, with COVID, but, um, we still all put our phone in the middle of the table and whoever touched it first had to pick up the bill. Um, you know, because I think that. I was just like, you go to ultra restaurants right now and you like watch people and they're like not talking to one another. Um, so like twofold, like not be on my phone as much as I can be present when I need to be present, there's obviously reasons to be on your phone, but. Steven L Burch (16:33.084) Right. Ashley Fredrick (16:41.658) Um, it's a matter of actually when we talk about like a morning routine is like finding a better nighttime routine because like my night time routine is like no good. Um, so I think that comes into like not using my phone to put me to sleep, right? Like I watch TikToks because I think there was like a thing it said, you know, like people that are like busy all day, it's like almost like watching that it's like a release for them because there's like no responsibilities in that. And I definitely relate with that. But in the same sense, you know, it's the whole blue light. before phone type of situations. So for me, and it's like really trying not to use my phone the hour before that. I mean, that'll be a hard, hard thing, but, um, I think it'll be, be worth it in the long run. And then my other things I like to snack at night and I just, that's not good for you either. Steven L Burch (17:18.564) Right. Steven L Burch (17:29.564) Good, no, and it's amazing when we do goal setting and everything else that I think the typical person wants to add all these things I'm going to start doing when really the simplest things that have the biggest impact are right in front of us that we already are doing that we need to stop on doing some. So, yeah, I think that's really intriguing for sure. Ashley Fredrick (17:50.306) What was your? Steven L Burch (17:53.324) Mine is my phone, yeah. Like more so, like feeling like I have to respond right away, like I'm, I almost allow myself to be too readily available and respond to things super freaking quick. So I want to be able to slow that down a bit on things that don't need that response that quick that I can sit there. So, and you know, the real thing with the phone and it's very eye-opening. Ashley Fredrick (18:12.768) Yeah. Steven L Burch (18:20.744) somebody when we were talking, use this analogy with me. When you're in your vehicle and you're on the highway and you're going 80 miles per hour, what would happen to you if you were just to stop and go to zero instantly? Like you go into a crash, right? Like you, it's going to be crazy. It's going to be chaotic. You're going to hit a wall really freaking quick and it's going to freaking hurt. Well, that's exactly what our brains are doing all day. And so we're going 80 miles per hour, all freaking day in our brains. And so Ashley Fredrick (18:35.361) Right. Ashley Fredrick (18:46.163) Mm-hmm. Steven L Burch (18:50.224) when we're on our phones constantly, even laying in bed watching TikToks or Facebook or whatever we're doing, then we turn our phone off and then all of a sudden we're expecting our brain to shut off and go to sleep. Well, it's gonna take a little bit of time to wind that brain down so then you can get the good sleep. And I mean, there's so much behind having your phone there. Yes, it's a great thing, but also it's a double-edged sword and it's a negative thing too. So... Ashley Fredrick (19:03.651) work. Ashley Fredrick (19:19.658) Well, I think you've done exercises with people as far as I couldn't tell you for an iPhone, but you can go somewhere on your iPhone. And you can look at your usage on those apps. And I know we haven't figured it quite out yet on the Android when they got a new Android. But I think like I had done that before because you can actually set Steven L Burch (19:20.244) Um... Ashley Fredrick (19:43.326) like parameters, you know, like you like whatever it'll notify you if you've used if you've used Facebook for like an hour or whatnot. So I think that like people that maybe don't know that or I think if people were like actually go back and like look at that and be like oh my god I was on Facebook for five hours this week. Like what could I have done for five hours this week that would have you know helped me or helped my family or helped my spouse or helped my kids or played baseball in the yard for an hour. You know what I mean? Like I think if you can relate it to that it starts to really like chip away. And I really try, like, you know, Facebook, I try to keep it in chunks of time. And it's funny because people will be like, oh, you didn't like my post or whatnot. And like sometimes it's like, I haven't been on yet today, you know, like, there's times where I know like I'll go down a hole. So I leave it off until I feel like I have that time. So I think like as, as everyone is just like more aware of how they're spending their, their time. Steven L Burch (20:33.36) Absolutely, that's one of my favorite activities and I start that out with every single one of my clients and I do with my agents as well. Pulling up that screen time and I wanna know, what you're spending your time on, how long, I wanna know how many notifications you're getting in a day, how many text messages, emails, all of these different things. Twofold on that is that when they say, oh, I didn't have time to do it or I didn't have the availability or whatever, giving me a BS excuse. Let's pull that up and let's see. Could you really have. Ryan, like so you're telling me that you didn't have the time, but it's because you were filling your time, it was not a time issue is a priority issue. It wasn't a priority to you. Um, and then the other part too is like within the notification aspect of it. I don't think that we realize how long it takes our brain to get back on to talk that once we get disrupted. Ashley Fredrick (21:04.302) You spent two hours on Facebook today. Ashley Fredrick (21:27.227) Bye bye bye. Steven L Burch (21:30.576) So interruptions, and I want to say the status, it takes you on average 23 minutes to get back on topic, back on your wavelength from getting interrupted, right? So imagine every single time that you get interrupted, then attack on 23 minutes to start focusing on that same topic or whatever task that you're working on. Like, that's insane. I mean, my phone goes off, I'm sure yours does too. Ashley Fredrick (21:53.89) Bye. Steven L Burch (21:58.664) It's like freaking Jingle Bells 24 seven. Um, and so like, and then people walking into my office or going on the appointments or running into somebody at the store, like that's not even working. That is just dealing with people. And so no wonder I wasn't getting my task and everything done. So I had to realize it for myself first. So I love being able to do that for other people, um, it chin check for sure. And then be able to check in another 30 days, 60 days, nine days out. seeing if we can go ahead and reduce that screen time and reduce the notifications at least, or figure out a way to be able to manage that a little bit more. That's going to be more efficient for you versus just trying to have everything right at your fingertips, literally 24 seven. So yeah. Ashley Fredrick (22:42.398) where like some of them that can bring in that like that time blocking, right? Or like really trying to use your calendar, like in your that, I mean, if that makes you happy to like be on Facebook and like schedule it, you know, but you don't want to leave, you know, your, your clients hanging or whatnot when you're using time elsewhere. I mean, we're all guilty of it, right? Like I'm not perfect by any means. But I think when you really start to sit back and think about like, how does, you know, how does that affect my morning routine? How does that affect my nighttime routine? Like what are things that we can be giving back to ourselves so that we are fueled for the whole day. And I think that I've found that there's been some things going on, like office or whatnot. Like, I feel like if I were stressed out to the max and not taking care of myself, I would not handle them the same way. Like, I look about like, actually, two years ago, it would have been like maybe a little bit of a hot head. Or like now, she's like, mm, OK, like super not cool, but we're going to handle it this way. Steven L Burch (23:34.936) Right, right, I mean, totally valid. Random story. And so you know Kim, Kim's our director of operations. There we go, that's her title. So her son, Jace, he got in trouble, I'm not gonna say what he did, but he got in trouble and I didn't know this, but on his phone, she put a one minute limitation for social media on his phone per day. Like. Ashley Fredrick (23:45.501) Thank you. Steven L Burch (24:04.556) And I was like one minute per day like you're like that's torture. Come on now. So when we were at dinner one night, like you can see him just looking at all these Snapchat and these notifications on his phone and he's just waiting. So he tries to wait or he was waiting. He was waiting to the very end to see how many people snapped him. And then so he would do one snap, go through and highlight all these people really quickly. And then he was done. I was like. Ashley Fredrick (24:19.182) Thank you all for coming. Steven L Burch (24:32.692) Man, that is real torture. I'm so glad that nobody has the power over my phone like that, because that would drive me insane. Yeah, you know, that was a possibility. So there's a tip if, you know, Ben acts out, then you can. Ashley Fredrick (24:33.146) That's funny. What? Ah! That's tough. Yeah. Ashley Fredrick (24:44.214) Right? We've got a child that you need to get in line to max it out for one minute. Yeah, definitely. Cool. Steven L Burch (24:50.088) Yeah, who thinks of that? Like that Kim is one that thinks that. But yeah, and I think that it's fun that we're seeing a correlation here, at least I am. Like we continuously go back to health and like our personal health, mental health and all of these. And it's quite astonishing how much I have neglected myself in the past. Definitely having that realization in the people around me to support me to be able to be a better version of myself and grow into the person that I truly want to be. Ashley Fredrick (25:25.034) I agree. Steven L Burch (25:27.1) Cool. Well, thank you guys for listening today. We're excited about the next topic, so make sure you drop in and listen in, subscribe, and we'll see you the next time.