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Village Witch Envy · Rainbow Book Rats: A Queer Romance Podcast

• 0:07
  And then while I'm doing this, Katie just comes
• 0:10
  in and says artichokes and then leaves. Let me
• 0:15
  explain. Brats and welcome back to another episode
• 0:31
  of Rainbow Book Rats, a queer romance podcast
• 0:34
  where four feral rats nerd out about their favorite
• 0:37
  reads. On this episode of Digging Deeper, we
• 0:41
  will be talking about our recent buddy read and
• 0:44
  doing a deep dive into a bookish topic one of
• 0:48
  us is foaming at the mouth to talk about. So
• 0:51
  grab a treat, settle in, and let's get to yapping.
• 1:02
  I'm JD, my pronouns are they, them, and I recently
• 1:07
  thrifted a new lava lamp. Cum lamp. It is the
• 1:12
  cum lamp. Sorry. It's the cum lamp. I'm Kit,
• 1:26
  they, he, and I have a visceral reaction to mustaches.
• 1:33
  What a hater. I know. Come on, outfit. I'm Megan.
• 1:40
  She, her, they, them. And I love mustaches. I'm
• 1:51
  Katie. She, her. And I'm trying to grow one.
• 1:59
  true she really does want a mustache i really
• 2:04
  would love to grow be able to grow a beard or
• 2:07
  facial hair i don't know i like body hair in
• 2:10
  general it's doing you very well i think i don't
• 2:13
  shave anything i love body hair i think hair
• 2:16
  i just sounds so weird i love hair not in a weird
• 2:21
  way Are you sure that you're cis? In a really
• 2:27
  normal way. Just a really big fan of beards and
• 2:31
  hair and body hair. I have no arm hair anymore
• 2:36
  and I was really upset by that. Like I have little
• 2:38
  arm hair but it's like pretty much all gone.
• 2:40
  Aww. Yeah. r .i .p katie's arm hair i wonder
• 2:46
  if they do arm hair transplants so this week
• 2:50
  we are going to talk about our buddy read that
• 2:54
  was chosen by kit me yay so i chose uh the full
• 3:02
  moon problem by k claire it's a low -ish angst
• 3:06
  paranormal romance uh set in a small british
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  village so essentially you've got felix who doesn't
• 3:13
  know he's a witch until he moves there and he
• 3:16
  falls for shy declan the delivery driver in the
• 3:20
  village who is totally not a werewolf. Totally
• 3:23
  a normal man. Totally a normal man. And no one
• 3:27
  in the town is hiding that about him because
• 3:29
  he's not. Yeah, and why would you even ask about
• 3:32
  Declan? Yeah, seriously. They all act perfectly
• 3:35
  normal when you bring up his name. So yeah, Felix
• 3:40
  settles in in his very witchy cottage. He plants
• 3:43
  his little witchy garden. oh my god he learns
• 3:45
  his witchy recipes give it to me he just lives
• 3:48
  the best witchy life i like how during the buddy
• 3:50
  read we were all just talking about how we would
• 3:52
  this is like the dream life like living in a
• 3:55
  little cottage yeah a little witchy plan seriously
• 3:58
  though and your your werewolf boyfriend yeah
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  this is my dream life in my head movies right
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  oh i want a little cottage with a garden And
• 4:12
  Felix gets almost everything he needs doing swapping
• 4:15
  potions with the villagers. This is basically
• 4:17
  Stardew Valley. Yeah. He like makes different
• 4:23
  tea blends for like, you know, anxiety and migraines
• 4:26
  and stuff. He inherited his cottage from his
• 4:29
  aunt who passed away. And she was like the village
• 4:33
  witch, basically. And so everyone in the village
• 4:37
  had been used to her giving them her little remedies
• 4:41
  for everything and kind of trading what they
• 4:44
  had with her because she never asked for payment
• 4:46
  for any of it. So Felix just kind of like falls
• 4:49
  into. that role and he moves back there and finds
• 4:52
  out about that yeah that's what i want to be
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  when i grow up right i want to be that too i
• 4:57
  want to be the village with so felix gives them
• 5:01
  a potion and they give him honey or you know
• 5:05
  candles or a pie i love that yeah that barter
• 5:09
  system it's so it's so cozy it is so cozy yeah
• 5:13
  this was a super cozy book it really was and
• 5:16
  not a werewolf declan has a full moon problem
• 5:22
  he does yeah where essentially he doesn't have
• 5:27
  control of his werewolf um his actual werewolf
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  every full moon's where felix's aunt used to
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  make him a potion so once felix finds this out
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  he sets out to try and replicate this potion
• 5:40
  to give that come back his control and in the
• 5:42
  process of that they fall in love and it's very
• 5:44
  sweet It's so sweet. It is. Declan is just the
• 5:49
  most adorable. I can't even put into words. Pretty
• 5:54
  much this entire buddy read was just me being
• 5:56
  like, stop it. Stop it. He's so cute. I can't
• 6:00
  handle it. A little anxious bean. He is. He is
• 6:06
  such a shy bean. In the beginning when he first
• 6:10
  meets Felix, he's like... He doesn't talk, runs
• 6:15
  away, and then later on he's like, I was charmed
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  by you. He's so anxious around Felix that they
• 6:26
  can't talk for ages, but they communicate through
• 6:30
  letters. I know! It's really cute. It's so cute.
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  And he folds all of his letters to Felix into
• 6:39
  little origami shapes. It's just darling. Just
• 6:44
  imagining this giant man folding these little
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  origami letters. In his delivery van. He does
• 6:50
  it in the van before he leaves. It makes me sad.
• 6:53
  Yeah, he writes all of his letters after they
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  have their interactions or whatever. He goes
• 6:59
  back to the van, writes his letter, and then
• 7:02
  folds it into the little origami and then leaves
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  it. It makes me want to cry. It's very much like
• 7:09
  a slogan, but I like how after a certain point,
• 7:12
  Felix is just like, you know what, enough. It
• 7:14
  sort of forces Declan to come in the house and
• 7:18
  have a chat and be friends. He's like, you're
• 7:21
  not going to do this. But also, I love that Felix
• 7:24
  had kept all of the letters, the origami letters,
• 7:29
  and he stuck them to his headboard. It was just
• 7:32
  so cute. So cute. He treasured them. Not only
• 7:36
  did he, like, every time he'd get a note, he
• 7:37
  would unfold it so carefully, read it, take a
• 7:40
  picture of the letter, and then refold it. Like,
• 7:43
  I love that. Yeah. He learned how to do a little
• 7:46
  bit of origami, too, because he had to put them
• 7:48
  all back together again. Yes. But yeah, oh, I
• 7:52
  love that so much. And the way that Declan obviously
• 7:55
  did learn to be less shy and to open up a bit,
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  because he has trauma. He has lost. he has grief
• 8:02
  oh my baby and he doesn't actually talk about
• 8:05
  it yeah it's really it's so sad yeah and he also
• 8:08
  like yeah the village protects him and absolutely
• 8:12
  loves the hell out of him but he's the only werewolf
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  there there's nobody quite like him um so he's
• 8:17
  always felt i think a bit alone he was adopted
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  you see i think he was like left left on a doorstep
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  or something and he'd always felt quite alone
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  because of that and felt quite different from
• 8:27
  everybody else around him and he really connected
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  with felix over that because felix has always
• 8:33
  felt very alone and different from people around
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  him because um he's actually trans and and growing
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  up he wasn't especially supported with his identity
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  baby yeah my baby and also i do want to call
• 8:49
  out that the trans rep in this was so good yes
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  like i mean i mean k claire the writer is also
• 8:55
  trans but it was just like it was a thing it
• 8:58
  was a big part of felix's personality but we
• 9:01
  got to see it just like everyday life yeah like
• 9:04
  we got to see the like the tea injections and
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  yeah and also i i think one of one of the big
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  parts of his like backstory is he never really
• 9:14
  learned any of like the witch things from his
• 9:19
  mom because he he didn't really want anything
• 9:21
  to do with it yeah you know because it was like
• 9:24
  the girls in the family did that and he wanted
• 9:27
  to really distance himself from that yeah definitely
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  i got also that his parents or his mom didn't
• 9:33
  really believe in like modern medicine necessarily
• 9:35
  and that was also a big thing because obviously
• 9:38
  like the trend like to transition required some
• 9:41
  modern medicine and in the beginning Felix talked
• 9:43
  about how he had thought about doing top surgery
• 9:46
  or bottom surgery but then decided that he liked
• 9:48
  everything how it was like because he talks a
• 9:50
  lot about his chest he doesn't have top surgery
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  but like before he was kind of naturally flat
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  and then he's done a lot of chest work yeah and
• 9:55
  he talks about how like deciding not to get surgeries
• 9:57
  at all but like it seemed like a point of contention
• 10:00
  that his family didn't really believe in medicine
• 10:02
  yeah yeah it was a really cool representation
• 10:05
  of like a specific version of being a trans man
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  and it's just really nice to see because you
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  know trans men are not a monolith and um it was
• 10:13
  interesting to see also because like you know
• 10:16
  there are going to be loads of people out there
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  who have families who are either either families
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  who are not supportive of being trans or families
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  who for other reasons are not supportive or even
• 10:27
  scared of medical settings yeah and how you recover
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  from that and get past that and as an adult embrace
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  your future. So I thought it was just really
• 10:36
  well done that one. you know, that part of it.
• 10:38
  Yeah. Yeah. It was really sweet. And I just liked
• 10:41
  that this had a lot of, I felt like this book
• 10:43
  had a lot of queer joy, trans joy, cozy. It was.
• 10:46
  Yeah. The fan family. Oh my gosh. It's the whole
• 10:50
  town. So Nimbley Ford is the name of the town
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  and I'm going to find this place. I'm going to
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  move there. You'll never hear from me again.
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  I think it was, I think it was JD who mentioned
• 11:01
  in the buddy read that this reminds them of Eureka.
• 11:04
  Yeah. And I totally got those. vibes because
• 11:07
  that's like one of my favorite tropes is like
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  just quirky found family town that like you know
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  it's just you just want to be there you want
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  to live there yeah eureka by the way the show
• 11:17
  on sci -fi yeah from the early 2000s i don't
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  know like straight from the very beginning of
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  it i just like got that vibe and i don't even
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  know like really it just kind of like shot out
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  at me like i i haven't thought about that show
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  in years and years and years but i i don't know
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  it just like conjured that image for me the same
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  sort of cozy like yeah like everybody here has
• 11:39
  a knows something but they're not you know yeah
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  yeah secrets secrets all that so yeah but um
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  i also i just wanted to mention um the fact that
• 11:54
  this is a british book and there's You know where
• 12:00
  I'm going with this. There just were some words
• 12:03
  in this book that are very British. And as an
• 12:07
  American, I didn't know what some of them meant.
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  And so I went to the group chat just to ask because
• 12:18
  I wanted to know. And we had some struggles.
• 12:26
  There were some struggles a little bit. So first,
• 12:29
  I just didn't know what dungarees was. I love
• 12:36
  that word. And then I was like, isn't that the
• 12:39
  gram bears that you dip in the frosting? And
• 12:42
  I was like, no, Megan, that's gunkaroos. So it
• 12:50
  turns out it's overalls, okay? It's overalls.
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  dunkaroos overalls not dunkaroos i really it
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  was like it was like 2 a .m or 1 a .m i really
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  wanted dunkaroos after that oh my god and then
• 13:11
  what was the second one it was poultice oh and
• 13:16
  streamer streamer was the third one poultice
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  yeah i didn't know what a poultice was either
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  and i was like what is that even in the group
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  chat and i'm asking and megan's awake and so
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  she's responding back about it go ahead megan
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  alex my husband was standing right there and
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  i was laughing he's like what are you laughing
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  about i was like what's a poultice and he says
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  Oh, isn't that like, it's like a bomb, right?
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  And I was like, okay. And I texted, I texted
• 13:51
  back the group chat and it was like, bomb, B
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  -O -M -B. Alex says it's a bomb. And I was like,
• 14:00
  a bomb? And then I turned it back to Alex. That's
• 14:06
  when he said, oh yeah, like a witch's, like a
• 14:08
  witch's or whatever. And I was like, oh, bomb.
• 14:17
  jd's already in there being like what the fuck
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  and i was like oh no no it's like a salve it's
• 14:24
  like like a witch's ear oh my gosh yeah so and
• 14:32
  then and then there was the strimmer which it's
• 14:37
  a weed whacker or a weed eater as some say jd
• 14:42
  comes in and they're like what's strimmer and
• 14:45
  so i have my phone up and i'm trying to say strimmer
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  into into siri and and i'm getting nothing and
• 14:53
  it's coming back with like trimmer and streamer
• 14:58
  like oh someone's on twitch and then while i'm
• 15:01
  doing this katie just comes in and says artichoke
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  and then leaves Let me explain. She hadn't said
• 15:11
  anything before that, but we're trying to figure
• 15:14
  out what a story is. It doesn't come back. No
• 15:19
  follow up. And so I was like, oh, I guess that's
• 15:21
  the answer. So Megan has put like a screenshot
• 15:29
  of what she was being told it was. And then.
• 15:33
  I'm like, so what exactly is it? And then Megan
• 15:36
  just goes, an artichoke. And I was like, no,
• 15:39
  no, no. So I'm reading through the screenshot
• 15:43
  and I'm like, oh, it says, okay, it says it's
• 15:45
  like a weed whacker. I think it took like an
• 15:50
  hour for Katie to come back and be like, no,
• 15:54
  I had an artichoke for dinner. I didn't even.
• 15:58
  I didn't even read the chat prior to sending
• 16:01
  the message. I came in. I was full from dinner.
• 16:04
  I was so pleased with myself because I had had
• 16:07
  a whole artichoke and it was so good. I just
• 16:11
  texted artichoke because I was like, they'll
• 16:12
  understand. And then I left. I come back an hour
• 16:20
  later and you guys are just losing your mind.
• 16:22
  Anyway, we got really confused and we were laughing
• 16:27
  so hard. We were sending voice notes back and
• 16:29
  forth to each other and I was just dying with
• 16:32
  tears streaming down our face. Oh my god. It
• 16:38
  was really funny. So anyway, there were a few
• 16:39
  terms in the book that I didn't really understand
• 16:42
  at first but I figured it out. But I do want
• 16:45
  to make it clear. This book is set in Britain.
• 16:48
  it is written by somebody who is clearly like
• 16:52
  uh so k is actually from south africa and came
• 16:56
  to britain on holiday and loves uh britain but
• 16:59
  you can tell that they are not british and do
• 17:02
  you know how you can tell i couldn't tell i couldn't
• 17:05
  tell we're americans there are zero cups of proper
• 17:10
  tea made in this book oh is it because there's
• 17:12
  no um milk cream do you put milk or cream so
• 17:17
  Felix makes a lot of herbal tea but there is
• 17:20
  no black tea there is zero there is no black
• 17:23
  tea in this book Felix doesn't even keep any
• 17:25
  in the house that doesn't happen like I don't
• 17:28
  drink tea there's still tea in this house I just
• 17:32
  want to read one thing that I added to our buddy
• 17:35
  read towards the beginning once we figured out,
• 17:38
  you know, what all those words meant. I had put
• 17:42
  a quote from the book that said, the dungarees
• 17:46
  and boots feel like a uniform. And then my comment,
• 17:51
  now I'm just picturing Felix in nothing but rain
• 17:55
  boots holding a pack of dunkaroos. Dunkaroos
• 18:00
  in one hand and a cartoon bomb in the other.
• 18:04
  Oh my god. And that was just an image that really
• 18:14
  stayed with me throughout the book. Another really
• 18:20
  fun thing about the book is that the author drew
• 18:24
  pictures for it. There were pictures throughout
• 18:28
  the book illustrating some of the scenes. And
• 18:30
  I thought that was really fun. I really enjoyed
• 18:31
  that. Yes. And the cover as well. Cage of the
• 18:34
  cover as well. Yeah. There's a little map in
• 18:37
  the beginning of the book, which I always love
• 18:38
  a map. I love a map. It's so sweet. I think my
• 18:44
  favorite image was there's a point where Declan
• 18:47
  is shifted into his werewolf, and then he's cuddling
• 18:52
  Felix in the bathroom. That's my favorite scene
• 18:55
  in the whole book. I love that scene. So cute.
• 18:59
  And that picture is so good. So the book is super
• 19:02
  sweet and cute and cozy and stuff, but... It
• 19:05
  is also, like, I mean, it's also pretty spicy.
• 19:09
  Like, decently spicy, I think. Yeah. I mean,
• 19:12
  there's shifted sex, so of course it's spicy.
• 19:14
  Yeah. The shifted sex. Oh, my God. Yes. Oh, my
• 19:18
  God. I wanted more. Yeah, I know. Same. Oh, yeah.
• 19:23
  As soon as Felix meets Declan, though, like,
• 19:25
  Felix is a horny gremlin. He's always... He's
• 19:30
  just always... I'm so horned up for Declan. Even
• 19:33
  before they're together, he'll just be daydreaming
• 19:35
  about his arm hair or whatever. Much like you
• 19:39
  do, right? The buddy we used to be dueling. Body
• 19:45
  hair, you mentioned. But that first kiss on the
• 19:50
  couch. The hottest first kiss I think I've ever
• 19:54
  read. It's so hot that Declan pops his claws.
• 20:00
  and gouges oh my god yeah um doesn't he also
• 20:04
  come in his boxers was that then or oh that could
• 20:08
  that may have been a different scene yeah where
• 20:10
  there is some coming early that makes me remind
• 20:14
  me and then in the in the fully shifted sex scene
• 20:18
  we also get breeding kink dirty talk my favorite
• 20:21
  my favorite yes that whole scene and and werewolf
• 20:27
  licking of You know, intimate areas. Going downtown.
• 20:34
  Oh yeah. It was like the first scene they were
• 20:38
  together when Declan's like, can I clean you
• 20:40
  up? And I just, I want to flip my desk. I loved
• 20:43
  it so much. I literally, I had in the buddy room,
• 20:50
  I had been talking. I was like, I want him to
• 20:53
  clean him up with his tongue. And then like two
• 20:55
  minutes later it happened. And I was like, Oh
• 20:57
  my God. but Declan is just obsessed with Felix's
• 21:03
  scent and Felix's taste and I'm so here for it
• 21:07
  I love the mutual obsession Declan is the one
• 21:11
  who has heightened sense and taste and stuff
• 21:13
  like that but Felix was also so obsessed with
• 21:17
  how hairy he was and his smell it was so good
• 21:22
  but the thing is Obviously, Felix kept getting
• 21:26
  horny around Declan, and then Declan could smell
• 21:29
  it. There's a point where Felix is enjoying some
• 21:36
  alone time, some self -planning. And then Declan
• 21:40
  shows up, he opens the door, and Declan's just
• 21:43
  like, oh my god. It's like the Edward Cullen
• 21:48
  tit -soak thing. Yes! In our buddy read, you
• 21:54
  could see we just had lots of comments about
• 21:56
  horny smell, horny smell, horny smell. Horny
• 22:00
  smell and body hair were the themes of this book.
• 22:05
  It's a recurring theme, okay? Okay, let me see.
• 22:10
  I'm looking through our buddy read right now.
• 22:12
  Oh, I just found another horny smell. He can
• 22:14
  smell horny, confirmed! And then the next one.
• 22:20
  Oh, here's a quote from the book. Felix watches
• 22:23
  from the corner of his eye as Declan takes his
• 22:26
  first bite and makes a pleased noise. Felix tries
• 22:29
  really hard not to be horny about the sound,
• 22:33
  but judging by the way Declan stops chewing and
• 22:36
  glances at Felix, he obviously notices. And then
• 22:39
  my comment is, horny, horny smell! And Kit says,
• 22:44
  spray bottle for Felix! Which made me laugh so
• 22:50
  hard. Down, down boy, down. The horny smell was
• 22:58
  really out of control. It was so good. It was
• 23:01
  really funny. But yeah, it's just such a good
• 23:06
  little low angst read. Although I did cry several
• 23:09
  times. Me too. I was crying. I didn't, but I
• 23:14
  understand why you would. It wasn't like the
• 23:17
  relationship angst. It was more like the grief
• 23:20
  and the loss. But also crying because you love
• 23:22
  them so much. You know when something is so sweet
• 23:26
  and you love it so much it just makes you want
• 23:27
  to vomit. That's how I feel about them. Also,
• 23:33
  the friend group in this book. So good. fantastic
• 23:38
  loved loved loved every one of them was such
• 23:41
  a complete character yes yes exactly and there's
• 23:44
  um you get um you get autism rep you get asexual
• 23:48
  rep you get ever romantic as well is it i was
• 23:52
  gonna say it's child free it was just a really
• 23:56
  well -rounded group of friends and like really
• 23:58
  well thought out characters that weren't just
• 24:01
  like put in as like filler to oh you know felix
• 24:05
  needs friends but they were like genuinely so
• 24:07
  yeah such an important part of the story i loved
• 24:10
  them yeah and you had a complete family of ages
• 24:13
  like declan with his old people the fact that
• 24:19
  declan basically considered like yassine and
• 24:24
  the old people his only friends killed me and
• 24:31
  then when Felix went around to Declan's for the
• 24:33
  first time I think and Declan was getting him
• 24:35
  something to wear from his own wardrobe and they
• 24:38
  just threw up in the wardrobe drawers and it
• 24:40
  was just filled with sweaters that that some
• 24:43
  of the old people have made for him oh yeah and
• 24:46
  throughout the book up to that point Felix has
• 24:50
  like noticed how Declan is almost always wearing
• 24:54
  a different knit sweater And we don't really
• 24:58
  think much of it until that point when we find
• 25:00
  out, oh my gosh, yeah, because Declan tells him
• 25:02
  that he gets them in exchange for doing favors
• 25:05
  for the old people at the home. They make him
• 25:07
  sweaters. My little bug. It's so precious. It
• 25:11
  makes me want to live in a barter society. Yeah.
• 25:15
  It just makes me yearn for fuck capitalism, give
• 25:19
  me barter. This whole village is just so magical.
• 25:24
  I know. the cool thing is like the only magical
• 25:26
  or like supernatural things are felix and declan
• 25:29
  yeah yeah everyone else is just regular but like
• 25:31
  everyone's just so full of like love and compassion
• 25:34
  and kindness and like they are the whole town
• 25:37
  is family like yes it's wonderful yeah um if
• 25:41
  there's any um older people who want to knit
• 25:44
  me sweaters, I am available for adoption. Well,
• 25:51
  what are you willing to do in exchange? You have
• 25:53
  to do them a favor. Oh, I can be cute. I can
• 25:56
  be cute. They can tell people that I'm their,
• 26:01
  you know, grandchild. I don't know. things I
• 26:09
  can do. A sugar grandbaby. Megan is searching
• 26:13
  for a sugar grandma. I will exchange favors for
• 26:21
  knitted sweaters. I'm moving to the Pacific Northwest.
• 26:24
  I'm going to be cold. I need them. for this deep
• 26:28
  dive section the four of us are gonna do four
• 26:31
  mini deep dives we're gonna talk about the books
• 26:34
  and characters that we really identify with in
• 26:37
  terms of representation books that have characters
• 26:41
  or representations that we identify with yeah
• 26:43
  so jd take it away for my first book I decided
• 26:49
  to choose a character with anxiety. Because if
• 26:56
  there's one thing I have, it's generalized anxiety
• 27:00
  disorder. And other things, but mostly that.
• 27:07
  I am happily medicated these days. Thank goodness
• 27:11
  for pharmaceuticals. Why do you say that? As
• 27:14
  soon as I grab my pill bottle. I was really stumbling
• 27:18
  through life, okay, until like four years ago.
• 27:22
  And I'm 35. Listen, AFAB people get a short end
• 27:26
  of the stick. It's true. Yeah, so I had... a
• 27:30
  pretty decent sized list of characters they were
• 27:35
  like this one or this one this one yeah there
• 27:38
  are a few for this one i went with jay from natural
• 27:42
  20 by charlie novak yeah i haven't read that
• 27:46
  no i haven't oh it's so good good for anyone
• 27:49
  who hasn't read charlie novak this is the series
• 27:51
  that i recommend you start with yes because all
• 27:55
  of their books sort of thread into each other
• 27:58
  a little bit but yeah it's it's where i recommend
• 28:00
  starting and it's a very cute book so jay is
• 28:05
  a clumsy anxious bookstore owner he has just
• 28:09
  opened his indie bookstore with the help of his
• 28:13
  best friend edward oh jay's full name is jacob
• 28:16
  and so his his best friend's name being edward
• 28:20
  they kind of have like a twilight joke between
• 28:24
  them Anyway, so it's about Jay and another entrepreneur
• 28:29
  in town, Leo, who owns the florist shop down
• 28:35
  the street. He's a big bookworm. And so he decides
• 28:38
  to go check out the new bookstore that's open.
• 28:41
  And he brings like a little bouquet with him,
• 28:43
  of course. Part of this book is flower language.
• 28:47
  Yes. Oh, I like that. Like the secret meaning
• 28:51
  behind flowers? Yes, yes. So I think it's a Victorian
• 28:54
  thing where flowers have certain meanings. And
• 28:58
  so for his first bouquet, he brought a bouquet
• 29:00
  that symbolized prosperity. Oh, nice. It's very
• 29:03
  sweet. Throughout the book, he brings Jay different
• 29:05
  bouquets that mean different things. And the
• 29:07
  chapter titles are flower names. And it's so,
• 29:13
  so sweet. week it's just flower love letters
• 29:15
  throughout the whole book and Jay has no idea
• 29:18
  yeah so Leo heads over to the bookstore to welcome
• 29:23
  Jay very charmed by just Jay's general clumsy
• 29:27
  flightiness and he's also kind of like an emo
• 29:30
  boy a little bit Jay is and um they have like
• 29:34
  a D &D group that they play in the basement uh
• 29:37
  Leo ends up joining it and so they play together
• 29:40
  and edward is the dm and it's there's several
• 29:42
  scenes of them playing dnd that are really really
• 29:45
  fun yeah i also have on here jay always wears
• 29:47
  fun socks i also relate to that excellent i always
• 29:52
  have like a crazy pair of socks i wouldn't say
• 29:54
  there's like a ton of spice in this book but
• 29:57
  there is spice and it's quite good so jay and
• 30:00
  leo become friends they decide that they're gonna
• 30:03
  watch this tv show together and so they sit down
• 30:06
  and watch tv shows every week with other but
• 30:09
  as their friendship is developing jay's anxiety
• 30:13
  is also growing no no just a lot of like financial
• 30:17
  worries pressing down on him and he's come out
• 30:20
  of a bad relationship recently where he worked
• 30:23
  himself to the bone to support his partner only
• 30:27
  for his partner to be really ungrateful about
• 30:31
  it and tell him that their relationship was trashed
• 30:34
  because he never spent time with him rude yeah
• 30:38
  So he's feeling really insecure about himself
• 30:42
  already. And then he's got all this anxiety pressing
• 30:45
  down. He doesn't want to tell anybody really.
• 30:50
  He wants to kind of keep it on his own shoulders
• 30:52
  because he feels it's his responsibility. Edward
• 30:55
  helped him open the shop financially and he doesn't
• 30:58
  want to tell him I need help. So he's like doing
• 31:01
  all this stuff that's just stacking. He's drowning.
• 31:03
  Yeah. Yeah. And he just kind of spirals into.
• 31:07
  little anxiety spiral there which you know i
• 31:10
  can relate yeah for sure i totally feel him it's
• 31:16
  one of the ones where i was like yelling at him
• 31:18
  in the book being like just fucking tell leo
• 31:20
  just tell leo tell leo but it's so hard it's
• 31:24
  so hard anxiety it is yeah and that was like
• 31:27
  one of the things that really stuck with me is
• 31:29
  just remember thinking like while i was reading
• 31:31
  it like i totally understand like yeah like i
• 31:34
  i completely see where he's coming from i was
• 31:37
  just like yeah yeah i wasn't surprised i know
• 31:39
  what that's like yeah i wasn't surprised nothing
• 31:41
  about how he acted was shocking it just seemed
• 31:44
  like Like a natural, of course, that's what you're
• 31:46
  going to do. When you have anxiety, I feel like
• 31:50
  it's so easy to get lost in this spiral. And
• 31:52
  then when you're out of the situation, it's easy
• 31:54
  to look back and be like, oh, this should have
• 31:55
  been the path that I took. But when you're in
• 31:58
  it, it's like a tornado. You literally can't
• 32:00
  even. There is no path. There is no path. Because
• 32:02
  you're not logical. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, this
• 32:06
  is. It's just a really sweet book. It's like
• 32:09
  a small town romance, friends to lovers, size
• 32:13
  difference because Leo is like this hulking tattooed
• 32:16
  man and Jay is like this little emo boy. Which
• 32:20
  you also relate to. Yes, yeah. What, me with
• 32:25
  my lip piercings and nose piercing? No, the small
• 32:28
  bit. All five foot three of you? Yeah. My second
• 32:33
  book that I'm going to talk about, it is All
• 32:36
  Tied Up by Reese Morrison. Yay. It's one of my
• 32:40
  absolute favorite books. There are two points
• 32:44
  of representation for reasons why I picked this
• 32:47
  book as my second book. One is that it's a poly
• 32:50
  book. Yes. Polyamory. And then the second one
• 32:55
  is that there is an agender character in this
• 32:57
  book. And I never find agender characters. Right?
• 33:03
  More agender characters, please. Yes, please.
• 33:05
  I think maybe there's one other book that has
• 33:08
  an agender character in it, but I can't think
• 33:10
  of which one it is. I might even be wrong about
• 33:12
  that. I think maybe this is the only book that
• 33:14
  I've ever read that has it. I actually have two
• 33:16
  books that I'm going to talk about that are both
• 33:18
  with agender characters. No way. Yeah. holding
• 33:23
  out on me. Katie coming in with the Rex. So All
• 33:28
  Tied Up is about the owners of the Meadowlark
• 33:31
  Inn. The Meadowlark Inn. Yeah, so they host kink
• 33:35
  weekends through the cuffed app frequently. And
• 33:37
  in this book, they're hosting a daddy and boy
• 33:40
  night. And one of the boys who shows up for this
• 33:43
  event, his name is Neil. And he is an older man.
• 33:48
  He is plus size. And he is working as a lawyer.
• 33:54
  He feels trapped in his job. And in his life,
• 33:58
  he's never been able to really get what he wants
• 34:00
  out of a relationship because he knows that he's
• 34:03
  more kinky, but he hasn't. been able to find
• 34:08
  a partner who is. So his friend that he made
• 34:11
  at a kink club, he's one of the owners of this
• 34:14
  app. And so he was telling Neil about these weekends.
• 34:17
  He's really trying to like push him into the
• 34:19
  lifestyle because he just knows that he needs
• 34:22
  it. He needs the little push. He feels really
• 34:24
  out of place because of his age too. You know,
• 34:26
  in this book, it is a throuple situation eventually.
• 34:30
  Jamie is the partner who is Polly. He likes to
• 34:34
  have scenes with other people. Sebastian is very
• 34:37
  okay with it his daddy they seen with other people
• 34:42
  a lot and Sebastian doesn't need that as part
• 34:44
  of their relationship but he knows that Jamie
• 34:46
  does and so he's totally cool with that once
• 34:48
  they all get together Sebastian and Neil end
• 34:51
  up watching Jamie with another partner a lot
• 34:55
  of times okay yeah no one touches Neil except
• 34:58
  daddy Sebastian is the daddy and also the agender
• 35:03
  character he uses he pronouns he doesn't really
• 35:07
  care about gender is the thing yeah we have Jamie
• 35:11
  who is a femme gender flexible brat he's such
• 35:17
  a brat I love him yes and then we have Neil who
• 35:20
  is our sweet boy we love them all yes he's a
• 35:25
  perfect compliment to Jamie and then I have a
• 35:28
  couple of little quotes here about Sebastian's
• 35:31
  agender identity and it's Jamie talking to Neil
• 35:33
  about it the first one is he doesn't identify
• 35:36
  with any gender i think he wishes all the genders
• 35:39
  would just go away and that's exactly how i feel
• 35:42
  i remember reading that for the first time and
• 35:46
  being like yeah yeah i actually think that this
• 35:52
  book is the reason why i learned that a gender
• 35:54
  was a thing and that i was like oh that's me
• 35:57
  representation Yeah, so there's that one. And
• 36:02
  then there's another one. And this one I relate
• 36:04
  to even more. It says, Daddy thinks of gender
• 36:07
  as an incomprehensible annoyance. Same. I love
• 36:15
  those quotes. I think about them all the time.
• 36:18
  Yeah, there is. bondage shibari there's like
• 36:23
  a little bit of public play right yes there is
• 36:25
  the communication is top tier some other tropes
• 36:29
  and kinks we have spanking a lot of praise there's
• 36:32
  wax play in this one there's wax play in my book
• 36:35
  too oh wow what a small world we're just all
• 36:39
  on the same wavelength it seems yeah there is
• 36:43
  objectification and there is marking in this
• 36:47
  book And in parentheses, I made sure to specify
• 36:51
  with cum, not hickeys. Thank you for your clarification.
• 36:58
  You're welcome. I felt it was important to note.
• 37:01
  So this book is just really sweet. The way that
• 37:04
  they all communicate with each other is really
• 37:06
  great. I just I love this book so much. It's
• 37:08
  one of my favorites of all time. Those are those
• 37:11
  are the books that I picked as my little representation
• 37:14
  dives. Yay. Kit, what were yours? Okay, so I
• 37:20
  pick You're Not My King by Erin Hawke. I love
• 37:23
  that book. The character in it is Ruben, or Roo
• 37:27
  is his pet name. He has a lot of trauma and he's
• 37:31
  also an ADHD -er like I am. Yay! Yes, we're all
• 37:36
  ADHD in this house. I'll tell you a bit about
• 37:38
  the book first and then I'll talk about Ruben.
• 37:40
  So for anybody who's not read it, it is a sci
• 37:43
  -fi romance. Basically, Ruben is captured by
• 37:46
  aliens accidentally. Oops! Yep. And supposed
• 37:52
  to be taking the brightest people from Earth.
• 37:56
  They decide that Ruben doesn't quite meet that
• 37:58
  standard. Bless him. It's so insulting. Oh, my
• 38:01
  God. It really is. Me too. I should say this
• 38:05
  is a comedy. So he has sent a planet. Fuck you.
• 38:12
  Where he's claimed as the fated mate of the Lizard
• 38:14
  King. Who is very hot. So hot. And he has a tail.
• 38:18
  Oh my god. Yeah. Tasty. He is so tasty. Oh my
• 38:23
  god. So our Lizard King is called Voak. Voak
• 38:27
  knows that Ruben is coming. Because he can sense
• 38:30
  him from outer space. But Ruben has no idea.
• 38:33
  He's just been landed on this planet. Pissed
• 38:36
  off. Oh, so pissed off with the whole thing.
• 38:41
  I mean, I would be too. I related to him a lot
• 38:42
  from this book too. I was like, damn, same bro,
• 38:45
  same. Angry kitten. Yep, angry kitten, 100%.
• 38:50
  He was told that his new owners would be there
• 38:55
  to collect him soon, basically. Which pissed
• 38:59
  him off more. Yep. This band of... lizard people
• 39:05
  arrived collected him kind of didn't quite sling
• 39:10
  him over the shoulder but may as well have yeah
• 39:12
  and off they went on like a two -day trek or
• 39:15
  something ridiculous and he does not do exercise
• 39:17
  hard relate yeah right so he arrives in camp
• 39:23
  and finds out that he's about to be married yay
• 39:26
  yep to right away so there's a whole forced marriage
• 39:30
  situation uh which he's not pleased about but
• 39:33
  then he meets the guy and he's like okay i can
• 39:36
  work with this um i guess if i have yeah if i
• 39:42
  absolutely have to they get the wedding over
• 39:45
  with and they have this epic sex fest right oh
• 39:48
  my god a sex fest the spice is so good it's so
• 39:55
  good but they don't speak each other's language
• 39:58
  because the aliens who captured him were like,
• 40:01
  you don't get a translator. Bye. So he doesn't
• 40:06
  know what a knot is. Suddenly this thing starts
• 40:10
  growing in his ass, mid -sex. And he's like,
• 40:14
  what the fuck is that? Yeah, so he's sore for
• 40:19
  days afterwards. He's not very thrilled about
• 40:21
  this. And Voic is like, oh shit, I hurt my human.
• 40:24
  I should stay away for a bit. so there is one
• 40:28
  other human in the camp and she's been there
• 40:29
  for 10 years or something and she speaks lizard
• 40:32
  and she's also been teaching some of them english
• 40:35
  so we find out that voak has been going to her
• 40:38
  and she's been teaching him english so each time
• 40:41
  we see him he speaks more and more unfortunately
• 40:43
  he uses most of it for dirty talk for the important
• 40:49
  stuff and it's so fucking dirty dude it really
• 40:54
  is yeah Ruben is pretty lonely. Him and Voak
• 40:59
  do bicker quite a lot but they also have a lot
• 41:02
  of very hot sex. I'll tell you some of my favorite
• 41:06
  bits of the story so Rue teaches Voak to crochet
• 41:09
  which is just the sweetest moment because the
• 41:13
  whole thing is Voak really feels this like mate
• 41:15
  bond with Ruben he says it a couple of times
• 41:17
  he's like just want to spend time with my who
• 41:19
  man oh my god yeah he says that They literally
• 41:25
  just sit on the ground and Ruben's just there
• 41:27
  teaching him to crochet. And it's so cute. Yeah.
• 41:30
  I love that whole scene. And they make a scarf
• 41:33
  together. Ruben eventually gives Slovak that
• 41:36
  scarf. And it's like his most treasured possession.
• 41:39
  Yeah. He wears it all day, even though he's really
• 41:43
  hot in it, because it smells of the two of them.
• 41:44
  And then when he can't wear it anymore, he keeps
• 41:46
  it on his belt forever. It's so cute. Ruben is
• 41:50
  also, he's really sassy, okay? He's been being
• 41:53
  called Kakaruka by... it's like this this alien
• 41:57
  pet name and he thinks it's really sweet he's
• 42:00
  like yay i got a pet name and then one day he
• 42:05
  wakes up and there's this little carving of this
• 42:07
  really cute bug next to his bed and he's like
• 42:10
  oh this is really nice voak made me something
• 42:13
  tells him to go and find voak and it's like you
• 42:17
  made me this thank you so much and then he taps
• 42:19
  the bug and he goes and at that point it clicks
• 42:24
  and he's like you've been calling me a cockroach
• 42:29
  oh my god he's so mad at him so mad he's like
• 42:35
  this whole time i thought you were being sweet
• 42:37
  and you were calling me a disgusting bug but
• 42:41
  the way that the voax sweet talks him after that
• 42:45
  oh my god gets him to come around and he's trying
• 42:47
  to pretend to be mad and pouty still and it's
• 42:49
  just oh their whole dynamic i love it so much
• 42:55
  oh I love that book it was so good okay so Rue
• 42:58
  is really sassy as I say I love it his whole
• 43:00
  attitude and he's really like snarky in his head
• 43:04
  which yeah not gonna lie same and you've probably
• 43:08
  noticed it a bit on the podcast as well so the
• 43:12
  reasons that I I love Ruben and I relate to him
• 43:16
  are first off blanket burrito because let's face
• 43:20
  it we're all like oh aliens come and save me
• 43:23
  If we got taken to a random planet, no central
• 43:27
  heating, no electricity, nobody speaks our language,
• 43:30
  I would also be in a blanket burrito. for a long
• 43:35
  time yeah i'm usually in a blanket burrito and
• 43:38
  i don't even have that going on i love my blankets
• 43:42
  i live in southern california and i'm a blanket
• 43:45
  burrito all the time he's just so scared of change
• 43:50
  and the unknown and i know that people do struggle
• 43:52
  with this about character but He has ADHD and
• 43:55
  he's possibly autistic as well. For a lot of
• 43:57
  the book, he's trying to go home and he sees
• 43:59
  that as the last place that he was happy and
• 44:02
  stable before he had this awful traumatic relationship.
• 44:06
  Like his brain physically can't understand that.
• 44:08
  That his life wasn't very good. Yes, that things
• 44:11
  will never be the same, even if he goes back.
• 44:14
  Wasn't his life on earth like really shitty too
• 44:16
  though? Like, yeah, he got abducted while he
• 44:18
  was arguing with his sister about like something.
• 44:21
  He literally just come to try and like reconnect.
• 44:23
  with his sister she didn't really want anything
• 44:25
  to do with him no and like he sees the relief
• 44:28
  in her eyes that he's being taken and not her
• 44:30
  yeah and it's just really sad yeah he really
• 44:34
  struggles to change his course once he's set
• 44:36
  it and he's got such low self -esteem like He
• 44:40
  struggles in some ways. So academics, the aliens,
• 44:43
  no, he was never strong in school. But because
• 44:45
  he struggled in those very specific ways and
• 44:46
  in reality, he never got the support that he
• 44:48
  needed in school because I don't think he was
• 44:50
  ever diagnosed. He thinks he's stupid and he's
• 44:52
  incredibly down on himself. He calls himself
• 44:54
  lazy and all of this. But the reality... He beats
• 44:57
  himself up a lot. He beats himself up so much.
• 44:59
  And it's like, you're traumatized. You're a divergent
• 45:01
  person who's completely overwhelmed by the situation
• 45:03
  that they're in. A very understandably overwhelming
• 45:05
  situation. Right? He has this real need to feel
• 45:10
  secure and wanted. And I think a lot of us with
• 45:13
  ADHD and a lot of us with trauma really understand
• 45:15
  that need. It is a comedy and so much of it is
• 45:20
  really funny. But Erin does such an amazing job
• 45:22
  of showing what it is like to be traumatized
• 45:26
  and to be neurodivergent and to have those aspects
• 45:30
  that are not like we're not always super quirky
• 45:34
  and fun and the kind of things that get portrayed
• 45:36
  on the mainstream media. Not a superpower. Exactly.
• 45:38
  So, yeah, just as someone who has struggled with
• 45:41
  low self -esteem. And a lot of that coming from
• 45:44
  my struggles with being ADHD and autistic. I
• 45:47
  think I was 28 when I was diagnosed. Like I had
• 45:49
  serious problems with my self -esteem and with
• 45:52
  calling myself all of these words like lazy and
• 45:55
  like, you know, like a terrible person basically
• 45:56
  because I was struggling. I barely graduated
• 45:58
  high school because I wasn't diagnosed until
• 46:00
  I was 17. In America, parents send out like announcements
• 46:03
  saying, hey, Megan's graduating, come send her
• 46:06
  money. You know, my parents didn't even send
• 46:09
  those out. because they didn't know if i was
• 46:11
  going to graduate because i struggled so hard
• 46:13
  and so yeah you do have the issues with self
• 46:15
  -esteem thinking you're dumb people accusing
• 46:18
  you of being lazy because you forget your brain
• 46:20
  literally cannot grasp the stuff it needs to
• 46:23
  do sometimes you know and it's easy to look at
• 46:25
  yourself like the way that you're doing and look
• 46:27
  at somebody who maybe isn't neurodivergent or
• 46:30
  doesn't struggle in the same way that you struggle
• 46:32
  and see them excel and be like why can't i just
• 46:33
  do it like it's so simple why can't i just do
• 46:36
  this but that's not especially when you have
• 46:39
  been diagnosed yeah exactly and i think there
• 46:42
  are people who are like why can't reuben just
• 46:43
  get over the idea of going back to work why can't
• 46:45
  he just settle in with varak but it's like that's
• 46:47
  not the way his brain works that's not how it
• 46:49
  works yeah alex always equates adhd autism any
• 46:53
  nerve divergent brain he always says basically
• 46:55
  what you have is your brain is missing a bridge
• 46:57
  right and he's like you can send as many soldiers
• 47:00
  to that bridge as you can to try to fix the issue
• 47:03
  but it's not there the problem is there's no
• 47:05
  bridge they're not getting across They're not
• 47:07
  getting a cost because your brain is missing
• 47:09
  that bridge. You can appear lazy like all day
• 47:12
  and you can do everything in the world to try
• 47:14
  to fix it. But the fact is, there's no bridge
• 47:16
  there. Exactly. You know, it's not something
• 47:19
  to quote, quote, fix. And you are not an architect,
• 47:22
  so you cannot make the bridge appear. Exactly.
• 47:26
  Yeah, that's it, 100%. So yeah, that is why I
• 47:31
  chose You're Not My King. And the other book
• 47:34
  that I've got is The Flowered Blade by Taylor
• 47:37
  Hubbard, which is a high fantasy romance, which
• 47:39
  is an elf and an orc, essentially captive ex
• 47:43
  -captor. An elf prince gets kidnapped on the
• 47:46
  way back to his castle by the orc chief. a ransom
• 47:49
  note is sent to the king of the elves to say
• 47:52
  heed our wishes which is stop tormenting our
• 47:54
  city leave us alone in terms of taxes and stuff
• 47:56
  or we will kill your son that's that's one way
• 47:58
  to make your demands i guess yeah because the
• 48:02
  taxes have been absolutely destroying their economy
• 48:05
  like yeah they're dying out because they're starving
• 48:07
  yeah they can no longer afford to live yes most
• 48:10
  of the book we don't hit back and At first you
• 48:14
  have the about week -long travel to the city,
• 48:17
  and then Sylvia, the elf, is mostly being kept
• 48:20
  captive in the house with Brokkil, the orc chief.
• 48:24
  So there's extreme dislike to lovers, but also
• 48:26
  insta -lust. But also it's kind of like, what
• 48:29
  is this feeling I'm feeling? Anyway, so... Also,
• 48:33
  this book has the most gorgeous cover. yes it
• 48:37
  is such a pretty cover yes but yet so uh some
• 48:40
  of the other tropes in it are only one bird fuck
• 48:42
  him like you're punishing him while calling him
• 48:44
  a good boy oh my god picnics in the meadow um
• 48:49
  nursing back to hell i love that one huge hog
• 48:52
  huge hog lots of banter and not feeling lonely
• 48:59
  for the first time ever but i want to talk about
• 49:02
  this one for two reasons the first is the trans
• 49:04
  rep so sylvia is actually a trans masc character
• 49:07
  and this was the first book that i read where
• 49:10
  there was a trans masc main character who hadn't
• 49:14
  had bottom surgery really embraced their feminine
• 49:17
  side but was still extremely uh secure in their
• 49:20
  gender as a masculine person. And it was at a
• 49:22
  point where I was really struggling with dysphoria.
• 49:25
  I could not deal with the fact that I hadn't
• 49:28
  had any surgery. And with the fact that, yes,
• 49:31
  I still embrace or I still wanted to embrace
• 49:33
  some parts of my femininity. This book was a
• 49:36
  massive turning point in my life for that. And
• 49:37
  it really helped me up. Like, Sylvia's character
• 49:39
  really helped me accept myself a lot more. Yay.
• 49:41
  Yeah. I feel like there's a lot of pressure on
• 49:43
  transmasculine people to become hypermasculine.
• 49:46
  And the same transfeminine people to become hyperfeminine.
• 49:49
  and you don't have to like Sylvia's character
• 49:51
  still being able to go and like flowers and you
• 49:54
  know want to play in the meadow and you know
• 49:56
  have long hair and wear flowing clothes and that
• 49:58
  just really made a difference be soft be soft
• 50:01
  yeah exactly but still be fundamentally masculine
• 50:03
  and like um Sylvia even uses female anatomy names
• 50:07
  for their body parts so he's had top surgery
• 50:10
  but he's not had bottom surgery possibly even
• 50:11
  a little more kind of on the scale possibly more
• 50:14
  feminine than I am but still very much a masculine
• 50:17
  character But it just really helped me. I love
• 50:19
  that. Yeah. I love that. It just, that book really
• 50:22
  has a special place in my heart. And then again,
• 50:24
  Sylvia is also autistic and has depression. And
• 50:27
  the representation in this book is just fantastic.
• 50:29
  So Sylvia can't work out anybody's intentions,
• 50:32
  really struggles to basically read people, assumes
• 50:35
  that everybody is... I get that. Right? I find
• 50:38
  that so hard. And the same as me, Sylvia assumes
• 50:43
  that everybody is judging him and secretly mocking
• 50:46
  him. Yep. Yep, yep, yep, yep, yep. Yeah. Bullseye,
• 50:52
  baby. Yep. Straight for the heart. Oh, God, it's
• 50:57
  horrible, isn't it? It's so hard to live like
• 50:59
  that. And it sucks so bad. Yep. Right? And then
• 51:02
  it raises your anxiety. And Silver's really bad
• 51:05
  at hiding his feelings, his emotions. He's got
• 51:08
  no mask at all, and he's a bad liar. I feel that.
• 51:17
  It's funny because once you start unmasking,
• 51:19
  you unmask everything. Yes, exactly. And it's
• 51:22
  so draining when you try and mask. And I think
• 51:24
  you do see that with Sylvia as well. It's just
• 51:27
  like, oh my God, I've got a mask. Are you kidding
• 51:29
  me? But then he's got these special interests.
• 51:33
  So his special interest is like nature and specifically
• 51:36
  plants using for healing. But it really brings
• 51:39
  him joy and calm and balances him to be like
• 51:42
  studying plants and studying healing. And he
• 51:46
  feels really lost and depressed without access
• 51:48
  to that. Which, again, like if I didn't have
• 51:50
  access to my books, like it is a bad day. And
• 51:54
  then when he like he wants to know everything
• 51:56
  about the things that interest him and his mind
• 51:57
  is always working. When he's hyper -focused in,
• 52:00
  like, loses time, doesn't know what's going on.
• 52:03
  Oh, my God, the sun has set. That kind of thing.
• 52:06
  When did that happen? For real. I really love
• 52:10
  The Flower Blade. It's a fantastic book. It will
• 52:13
  make you cry. The angst is through the roof because
• 52:17
  Sylvia, he hates himself because everybody around
• 52:20
  him has always acted like he is nothing. And
• 52:23
  he has very much internalised that. but it's
• 52:30
  so good it's so worth it and I definitely recommend
• 52:33
  so yeah those are the books that I chose for
• 52:37
  this deep dive hello everybody my name is Megan
• 52:42
  and I am here with Megan hi Megan hello um so
• 52:50
  both books i chose for this week have bdsm and
• 52:54
  king sings in them um so the book i have chosen
• 52:58
  is called doll parts by cara d yes pause for
• 53:04
  applause i need to read this book i need to read
• 53:07
  this series too yes you do yes well you guys
• 53:10
  are going to be forced to read the second book
• 53:12
  next month just just saying oh perfect really
• 53:15
  oh my god oh my god i'm actually glad because
• 53:19
  i feel like i keep not doing it and i don't know
• 53:22
  why the covers are a bit intimidating like the
• 53:27
  covers make it seem look like it's like a dark
• 53:29
  yeah but i don't care about that romance but
• 53:32
  i know yeah so doll parts is the fourth book
• 53:38
  in the game series it's like one of my all -time
• 53:40
  favorite series i love it so much and it was
• 53:43
  also like the series that introduced me to a
• 53:45
  bunch of different kinks like it was my awakening
• 53:47
  yay you know and so this was my first foray into
• 53:52
  age play and just quick note on that We do not
• 53:56
  kink shame. If you don't like age play, maybe
• 53:59
  don't read it or maybe even take a step and try
• 54:02
  to research as to why age play is a kink that
• 54:06
  people like to explore. Your kink is not my kink
• 54:08
  and that's okay. Yes, exactly. And I know that
• 54:11
  people tend to see age play as a way for perverts
• 54:14
  to act out incestual, statutory assault. That
• 54:18
  is not the case. And if you think that, go read
• 54:21
  an article. yeah exactly it has to do with power
• 54:24
  exchange play and being a little allows a person
• 54:26
  who is consenting and of age to kind of let go
• 54:30
  of the burdens of adulthood and and work and
• 54:33
  anxiety and being a daddy allows somebody who
• 54:36
  is consenting and of age to be the more caretaking
• 54:40
  nurturing partner that is often shamed in in
• 54:44
  our society as elements of and we will be coming
• 54:48
  back to this in a few weeks exactly i'm not gonna
• 54:52
  i'm not gonna touch too much on it but just wanted
• 54:54
  to like prep everybody prep you guys thoroughly
• 54:58
  um ready for the entire fifth thank you daddy
• 55:04
  megan You're welcome. But yeah, so age play just
• 55:09
  allows each partner to drop their emotional walls
• 55:12
  and to truly be vulnerable with their partner
• 55:15
  in play. And so this book has some, a lot of
• 55:18
  the books in this series have age play, not all
• 55:20
  of them. And it's not the biggest element of
• 55:23
  each book. So Doll Parts is a contemporary BDSM
• 55:28
  romance. It is not erotica, even though there
• 55:31
  is quite a few really hot spice scenes in it.
• 55:34
  It is also a slice of life. life which we love
• 55:37
  we love a slice of life i love it so much and
• 55:40
  this one is a mmm poly relationship yes and it's
• 55:45
  two subs and two dom and so it's noah and his
• 55:49
  boyfriend cameron and they start off as friends
• 55:52
  and then they start dating but they have been
• 55:54
  looking for doms because they're both subs noah
• 55:58
  is more of a little whereas cameron is a service
• 56:02
  yes thank you cameron is a service And they both
• 56:06
  have their eyes on two very specific doms. One
• 56:09
  is Noah's ex -stepdad named Casey. And he is
• 56:14
  a daddy. But also Casey is a sadist. Sadist daddy.
• 56:22
  And then Lucian is a co -founder of the McLean
• 56:26
  House, which is the kink BDSM club that all these
• 56:29
  books kind of take place in. That we wish existed
• 56:31
  in real life. I know. Oh, seriously? Seriously.
• 56:35
  And he's also a master. So Cam has his eye on
• 56:39
  Lucien because Cam's really into high protocol
• 56:42
  and total power exchange. So both these boyfriends
• 56:45
  have their eyes on these two doms. But then also
• 56:47
  throughout the story, everybody kind of crisscrosses
• 56:50
  and gets with everybody. And it's really hot
• 56:52
  and it's really fun. It's done so seamlessly
• 56:56
  and so beautifully that you don't feel like someone's
• 56:59
  feeling left out or there's so much communication.
• 57:01
  It's just love between the four of them. exactly
• 57:04
  like because yeah Casey and Lucien are best friends
• 57:06
  and it's just it's just such a fun fun ride yeah
• 57:10
  and Noah's a pain slut and he's also a little
• 57:13
  but not like constantly he'll slip into a little
• 57:15
  space without really realizing it so the rep
• 57:18
  in this book that I identify with is Noah and
• 57:21
  Noah is a chaos gremlin he's not really diagnosed
• 57:27
  in the book like it doesn't say in the book that
• 57:30
  he has ADHD or autism but I suspect he has And
• 57:33
  he's known for the lack of filter between his
• 57:40
  brain and his mouth. It often just blurts out
• 57:43
  the first thing that comes to his mind. Who does
• 57:46
  that remind me of? He also has a slight inability
• 57:53
  to take certain things too seriously. So like
• 57:57
  if it's a situation where he's feeling kind of
• 57:59
  awkward, he will like just come out with a joke.
• 58:01
  Oh, God. yeah whoops and then even then he keeps
• 58:07
  going with the joke it doesn't really take a
• 58:09
  hint that he should maybe shut the fuck up like
• 58:18
  there's a specific scene where the two subs have
• 58:21
  finally gotten the doms in their clutches and
• 58:24
  they invite the doms over to their house for
• 58:26
  dinner and cam loves cooking so that's his thing
• 58:29
  like that's part of what he loves to do his masters
• 58:31
  is cooked so it is lucian's birthday and he wants
• 58:34
  to impress lucian he tells noah to put on a jacket
• 58:36
  and a tie and noah literally just puts on a jacket
• 58:40
  and a tie briefs and it's like oh my god and
• 58:44
  cameron's like yelling at him no just why can't
• 58:47
  you take anything seriously and noah's just laughing
• 58:50
  and and then like there's a part where cameron's
• 58:53
  like we're at defcon 5 and noah's like correcting
• 58:56
  him he's like actually technically it would be
• 58:58
  defcon oh my god and this whole scene is just
• 59:05
  like oh my god i relate to this so bad there's
• 59:10
  another scene where noah says i can't concentrate
• 59:12
  when i think i've disappointed someone oh yeah
• 59:16
  and i was like oh god you too right oh my god
• 59:21
  trying to sleep when i think i've made someone
• 59:23
  mad or sad Oh, God. That anxiety, that pit in
• 59:29
  your stomach. Oh, yeah. He's also a brat. Like
• 59:32
  there was a scene where he was bratting off to
• 59:34
  try to get Lucian to punish him. I think Lucian
• 59:37
  had put his hand on Noah's knee and he was bratting
• 59:40
  off over the phone to Cam and said something
• 59:42
  about Lucian. And he was like, OK, maybe now
• 59:43
  he'll like pinch my balls or something. All Lucian
• 59:48
  did was remove his hand. oh god yeah you know
• 59:51
  noah's just seeing me like oh fuck did i make
• 59:53
  him angry did i upset him and he stops paying
• 59:55
  attention to whatever cam is saying on the phone
• 59:58
  and i'm like i've been there i've said something
• 1:00:00
  that i think has upset someone and then whatever
• 1:00:04
  else is going on around me just doesn't exist
• 1:00:06
  it's gone yep yep yep some of the geeks and tropes
• 1:00:10
  so like i said it's got the stepdad mc and because
• 1:00:13
  of that you also have like a hidden relationship
• 1:00:15
  um and forbidden because the mom doesn't find
• 1:00:17
  out about that until the end but his mom's also
• 1:00:21
  an asshole oh good you know we don't like her
• 1:00:23
  no we do not it has dollification it does so
• 1:00:29
  it's got it yeah it's got a really hot dollification
• 1:00:31
  scene it's got sounding oh yeah a public sounding
• 1:00:35
  demonstration which is really hot i feel like
• 1:00:38
  i'm the one who's most excited about that out
• 1:00:40
  of all of us yeah it has a consensual non -consent
• 1:00:44
  scene if you're in their bed you have it's all
• 1:00:48
  open it's a free for all like free use yeah do
• 1:00:51
  whatever you want fee for all in bed so then
• 1:00:54
  it has somnophilia i love some oh yeah i enjoy
• 1:00:57
  that me too right reading it it's got the bondage
• 1:01:03
  and the impact play that sort of thing and then
• 1:01:05
  so like those are the kinks the tropes are like
• 1:01:08
  there's great disability rep in it and found
• 1:01:11
  family because like i said this is the fourth
• 1:01:12
  book in the series so you have a lot of the other
• 1:01:15
  people that we've already met in the previous
• 1:01:17
  book yes all getting together this There's a
• 1:01:20
  really fun scene where the brats play a prank
• 1:01:22
  on the doms. Yes. And so that was really fun.
• 1:01:27
  That's my favorite scene of the whole book. Oh,
• 1:01:29
  yes. Me too. I know. Me too. They're like, we're
• 1:01:32
  so proud of you, but you are getting it later.
• 1:01:35
  Yeah. Kate, who's from the second book, is kind
• 1:01:38
  of still mouthing off to his daddies. And they're
• 1:01:40
  just like, uh -huh, keep talking. you're getting
• 1:01:44
  yourself more and more in trouble and then noah
• 1:01:47
  simply responds with okay boomer oh my god wow
• 1:01:53
  he really wants that spanking huh yep yeah exactly
• 1:01:57
  oh i can't wait for you guys to meet these characters
• 1:02:01
  i know they're so good they're so good this series
• 1:02:05
  is so great and we'll probably eventually do
• 1:02:07
  a deep dive on on all of it yeah And then the
• 1:02:10
  second book I chose was Inhuman Nature by Mara
• 1:02:13
  Moore. Who we love. Yes, absolutely. I think
• 1:02:18
  I'm the only one that hasn't read it yet, but
• 1:02:20
  I do have it on the TBR. I'm just really slow.
• 1:02:23
  Yeah, I can't wait till you read it. So yeah,
• 1:02:25
  this one is a paranormal romance with another
• 1:02:28
  polyamorous relationship. With one vampire and
• 1:02:34
  two humans. Yes. And the mute cute is a BDS sub
• 1:02:38
  club. So we have Rake and DJ and Rake is the
• 1:02:42
  dom and DJ is the sub. So Rake is autistic and
• 1:02:46
  DJ has ADHD and also struggles with his body
• 1:02:51
  image. He's a plus size character. He's just
• 1:02:53
  got a little belly. We love a belly. Yes. We
• 1:02:57
  love a belly boy. But he struggles with it because
• 1:02:59
  his family gives him crap for it, which. We hate.
• 1:03:03
  We do not appreciate. No, not even a little bit.
• 1:03:05
  Yes, we do not appreciate. No. And then Sean
• 1:03:08
  is the vampire who. Total sweetheart. Is a redhead.
• 1:03:11
  One of my redhead reads. That's what we know
• 1:03:15
  about him. That's all we would say about him.
• 1:03:19
  No, Sean's also a sub, though. And just. Hmm.
• 1:03:23
  it's very sad he the book starts off with him
• 1:03:26
  chatting online with a man who's claiming that
• 1:03:29
  he's a vampire but sean is kind of like vampires
• 1:03:32
  aren't real into twilight and ends up getting
• 1:03:35
  abducted by this vampire who then forcibly changes
• 1:03:39
  him yeah Oh, it's so good. But poor Sean. My
• 1:03:43
  poor baby Sean. Rake and DJ's relationship is
• 1:03:48
  like so good. Yes, it is. They are green flags
• 1:03:52
  all the way. Oh my God. Yes, exactly. Like, yeah.
• 1:03:55
  Yeah. Rake is just such a perfect dom. Like he
• 1:03:57
  just, his love for DJ and it's just, just like
• 1:04:00
  beautiful. And the minute they see Sean walk
• 1:04:02
  in and they're just like, there's that sub again.
• 1:04:04
  And they like, just want to play with him. And
• 1:04:06
  they just both instantly want him to be part
• 1:04:08
  of their relationship, which is just, I love
• 1:04:10
  it. when that happens in books since rick is
• 1:04:11
  autistic he struggles with a lot of similar things
• 1:04:14
  i do like he talks about touching and stuff like
• 1:04:17
  that so he doesn't like when people touch him
• 1:04:20
  without without his acknowledgement or without
• 1:04:22
  his permission um and he there's a part where
• 1:04:24
  he talks about how he struggles with texture
• 1:04:26
  and food which i do too yep i like it because
• 1:04:30
  mara does not make it a huge flashing autistic
• 1:04:33
  autistic autistic sign above his head you know
• 1:04:36
  it's just who he is um and then dj's like the
• 1:04:39
  sunshine just have fun noah 2 .0 you know like
• 1:04:44
  just blurts whatever is in his head such a golden
• 1:04:47
  retriever yeah such a golden retriever and so
• 1:04:49
  i'm like i feel like both of them are just both
• 1:04:52
  sides of my brain like running into each other
• 1:04:55
  yeah so yeah this book it's got i think it's
• 1:04:59
  got it's got a shibari scene it definitely has
• 1:05:00
  shibari yeah yes It has a shibari scene. Actually,
• 1:05:05
  I think it's like predicament shibari. It's predicament
• 1:05:07
  bondage as well. Oh, so good. More predicament
• 1:05:10
  bondage plays. Seriously, though. Like, for real.
• 1:05:13
  Yes. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. It's got public
• 1:05:17
  play, obviously, because they love to do this
• 1:05:19
  at the club. Yes. It has biting and blood play
• 1:05:22
  because Sean's a vampire. It has spanking, it
• 1:05:27
  has edging, and it has a really hot scene at
• 1:05:30
  the end in a graveyard. yes spooky where blood
• 1:05:34
  is used as lube oh so good and then book two
• 1:05:38
  is really great too oh book two is my favorite
• 1:05:40
  i just i gotta get i gotta get to that one i
• 1:05:43
  honestly think it's gonna be one of my top 10
• 1:05:45
  books of the year oh wow i'm putting it out there
• 1:05:47
  right now yes yeah High praise. It's very good.
• 1:05:51
  It's so early in the year, too. It's only April.
• 1:05:53
  I know. I know. Yeah. That's how good these books
• 1:05:56
  are. She does a really good job of including
• 1:05:59
  really funny scenes and humor and sweet scenes,
• 1:06:03
  like really sweet. Yeah, there's a lot of really
• 1:06:04
  good humor in it. Yeah, for sure. So, yeah, those
• 1:06:08
  were my picks. What about you, Katie? OK, for
• 1:06:11
  my books, I flip flopped around a lot, but I
• 1:06:14
  didn't want to pick books that were like super
• 1:06:16
  sad or like I didn't want it to just be downers
• 1:06:20
  on the stuff that I was going to like talk about.
• 1:06:22
  I didn't want to bring the mood down. And then
• 1:06:24
  so my first book. I decided to do one of my favorites.
• 1:06:30
  It's Emily Antoinette's Behold Her. Yes. I always
• 1:06:33
  credit Emily Antoinette to like bringing me to
• 1:06:36
  Bookstagram because I started reading romance
• 1:06:39
  like a few years ago. And then I was like on
• 1:06:41
  Facebook and stuff. I didn't even get on Instagram
• 1:06:43
  for a while. And then I discovered Emily Antoinette
• 1:06:46
  and joined. her discord and through there i discovered
• 1:06:49
  instagram and bookstagram and everyone on the
• 1:06:53
  discord encouraged me and i started a bookstagram
• 1:06:55
  and like it opened this whole world to me and
• 1:06:57
  it was yeah i'm so glad you did thank you emily
• 1:07:00
  thank you for bringing me my bestest friends
• 1:07:03
  it's been a great time and the other two but
• 1:07:08
  beholder is one of my favorites it is a really
• 1:07:13
  spicy really fun um kind of like stalkery monster
• 1:07:17
  romance yeah yeah so you've got max who is a
• 1:07:22
  succubus slash witch and then you've got mona
• 1:07:25
  who is a beautiful plus -size lady i love her
• 1:07:29
  and i've seen this cover oh my gosh okay side
• 1:07:33
  note Every single one of Emily Antoinette's covers
• 1:07:36
  are my favorite because her artist Fires, just
• 1:07:40
  shout out, like amazing book covers. So good.
• 1:07:43
  Anyways, again, it's like kind of stalkery romance.
• 1:07:46
  Essentially, Max is like a PI and he's like investigating
• 1:07:50
  something in Mona's apartment complex and just
• 1:07:54
  happens to keep parking outside of her house
• 1:07:57
  or her apartment. It's like her next door neighbor,
• 1:08:00
  isn't it? Yeah, like the downstairs. are under
• 1:08:03
  but she doesn't know that and organically they
• 1:08:07
  actually run into each other outside of the outside
• 1:08:10
  of the apartment complex um and like they're
• 1:08:12
  very drawn to each other they're very like oh
• 1:08:14
  who's this guy like who's this girl there's an
• 1:08:17
  instant connection and oh sorry mona does not
• 1:08:21
  know about monsters does not know about magic
• 1:08:23
  like it's very much one of those books where
• 1:08:26
  monsters are hidden um and there's like this
• 1:08:28
  whole secret society of monsters that like all
• 1:08:31
  the monsters know about but there's very few
• 1:08:33
  humans in the know and so she doesn't know she
• 1:08:36
  doesn't know that he is a succubus or that anything
• 1:08:39
  like that exists but i chose this book because
• 1:08:41
  i wanted to talk about mona and her struggles
• 1:08:44
  with like depression because it's a really big
• 1:08:46
  part of the book the beginning of the book kind
• 1:08:48
  of starts off with her talking about just like
• 1:08:50
  things haven't been the best for her she had
• 1:08:53
  a dog that she was really close with like her
• 1:08:55
  beloved pet yes oh no who passed away six months
• 1:08:58
  ago and it's just been really lonely yeah i know
• 1:09:01
  it's just been really lonely and hard to to cope
• 1:09:05
  with that loss but also while she's dealing with
• 1:09:07
  that like she has close friends but they're also
• 1:09:10
  all living their own lives like you know one
• 1:09:12
  of them has a kid and one of them was going through
• 1:09:15
  a divorce and is back in dating and like and
• 1:09:17
  so there's these times where she's like reaching
• 1:09:19
  out for connection like they do like a game night
• 1:09:21
  and everyone's canceling all the time because
• 1:09:24
  they've got their own things going on and like
• 1:09:26
  her life yeah her life has just her world has
• 1:09:30
  become really small and lonely yeah and she doesn't
• 1:09:33
  she doesn't have anyone else to reach out to
• 1:09:34
  or anything else and it's just very like yeah
• 1:09:37
  i thought that the depression rep in this book
• 1:09:41
  was just so accurate like so real and so relatable
• 1:09:45
  i still think about that's why well that's why
• 1:09:47
  i chose this book um one of the things that she
• 1:09:52
  ends up doing is she ends up trying to find something
• 1:09:54
  that brought her joy like a hobby or she's trying
• 1:09:56
  to remember of like bring light to her life again
• 1:09:58
  and so she ends up looking up classes for dancing
• 1:10:00
  and finds a pole dancing like burlesque class
• 1:10:04
  that just happens to be starting with like a
• 1:10:06
  beginner class. And she's like, this is meant
• 1:10:08
  to be. So she signs up and one of her friends
• 1:10:10
  actually ends up signing up with her, Grace.
• 1:10:13
  And so they signed up to do this burlesque class.
• 1:10:15
  And there is some, so she's a plus size character.
• 1:10:17
  And so there is a little bit of like her, like
• 1:10:19
  there's not like a part where she's like, oh,
• 1:10:21
  I hate my body or whatever. Like she is a confident
• 1:10:24
  woman, but she also is a confident woman that
• 1:10:26
  knows that like she's living in a plus size body
• 1:10:28
  in a very unforgiving world when it comes to
• 1:10:31
  people who are plus size. Yeah. And Emily Antoinette
• 1:10:34
  is really good, in my opinion, about writing
• 1:10:36
  plus size bodies. I've read like 90 % of her
• 1:10:39
  books. And every time there's plus size up, I
• 1:10:42
  always feel like it's done with like care and
• 1:10:43
  consideration. And it's not just throwing in
• 1:10:45
  like, oh, yeah, she's super thick. But you know
• 1:10:47
  what I mean? Right. But so Max and Mona, like,
• 1:10:52
  eventually she figures out that, like, he's not
• 1:10:55
  stalking her. He's actually stalking somebody
• 1:10:57
  else in her apartment complex. So that's fine.
• 1:11:03
  I was going to say, they have a sort of almost
• 1:11:05
  a CNC kind of dynamic, don't they? Where they
• 1:11:08
  sort of role play that he is stalking her. Yeah.
• 1:11:11
  Once they get together, they very much like playing.
• 1:11:13
  They have. a really really hot dynamic where
• 1:11:16
  she loves to be fake stalked where he'll like
• 1:11:18
  she'll literally like they'll set it up beforehand
• 1:11:21
  she'll like be walking and then she knows he's
• 1:11:23
  coming but she doesn't know when or where and
• 1:11:26
  then he'll come and like take her and fake kidnap
• 1:11:28
  her and you know just ravish her and it's so
• 1:11:31
  spicy it's so good but normally i can't read
• 1:11:36
  like i really struggle with with dub con or non
• 1:11:38
  -con or anything like that but in this case it's
• 1:11:40
  all set up beforehand so there's like consent
• 1:11:42
  and communication about everything and they have
• 1:11:44
  signals and and safe words and stuff like that
• 1:11:48
  but oh my gosh it's so spicy yep it's really
• 1:11:52
  good also she does like heal as well doesn't
• 1:11:55
  she in terms of of her grief for her dog. One
• 1:11:58
  of the things that actually happens is She learns
• 1:12:02
  about the magic and she learns about Max being
• 1:12:05
  a succubus and a witch. And actually he discovers
• 1:12:08
  that her dog is still there. Like the ghost of
• 1:12:12
  her dog is still there. And makes like a magical
• 1:12:15
  collar for the dog so that she can see the dog
• 1:12:17
  again. It's really cute. It's really sweet. It's
• 1:12:21
  really like a pretty big part of the story because
• 1:12:23
  a lot of her grief is over losing the dog. And
• 1:12:25
  there's a part where she's like making a sandwich
• 1:12:28
  or something like that. And she like drops him.
• 1:12:30
  chips on the floor and she's like oh the dog
• 1:12:32
  will get it and then she realizes the dog's not
• 1:12:34
  there and oh yeah i know i think anyone that
• 1:12:37
  has pets can relate to like that fear of of losing
• 1:12:41
  them and just the heartbreak of losing a friend
• 1:12:43
  that you've had so I have always struggled with
• 1:12:46
  my depression and I know that like it's not one
• 1:12:49
  it's not something that you can just wake up
• 1:12:51
  and be like okay you know what it's fine I'm
• 1:12:53
  gonna be good I'm gonna like just shake it off
• 1:12:56
  kind of thing like that's not how depression
• 1:12:57
  works no depressive episodes are so hard to dig
• 1:13:02
  yourself out of and like that awful feeling of
• 1:13:05
  like being being out of your depression and like
• 1:13:07
  being good for a while and then all of a sudden
• 1:13:10
  you realize that the clouds have come back and
• 1:13:12
  you're just you see it happening and there's
• 1:13:14
  not really much you can do sometimes like it
• 1:13:16
  just happens i just the way when i read it it
• 1:13:18
  was almost kind of hard to read because i was
• 1:13:20
  like damn man like it's like you're taking the
• 1:13:22
  words out of my mind it's so so good now she
• 1:13:26
  does heal though like the the class really helps
• 1:13:28
  her she finds at some point there's like a point
• 1:13:31
  in the book where she realized that she has this
• 1:13:33
  awareness of like oh my gosh like i can kind
• 1:13:35
  of see the light again like I'm I feel so much
• 1:13:38
  lighter and like I'm I'm finding joy and like
• 1:13:41
  things are feeling the way that they used to
• 1:13:44
  feel before I was in that episode and like just
• 1:13:46
  super super sweet and healing it is a super spicy
• 1:13:50
  sweet loving book i max and mona together like
• 1:13:55
  10 out of 10 so hot um and grace the friend that
• 1:13:59
  she does the class with also gets a book which
• 1:14:01
  is oh my gosh that one so spicy it's a sapphic
• 1:14:04
  vampire human chronic illness rep i i love that
• 1:14:09
  book so much it's so good afterglow and it's
• 1:14:11
  this is the start sort of a whole series of monster
• 1:14:14
  romance the moonvale series but it's starts with
• 1:14:17
  my favorite book man eater which i'm not going
• 1:14:19
  to talk about other than to say i love it it's
• 1:14:21
  so good so yeah that was that's what i wanted
• 1:14:26
  to talk about behold her and the depression rep
• 1:14:28
  and the other book i've already talked about
• 1:14:32
  but i can't stop thinking about it and i just
• 1:14:35
  wanted to talk about it more is enchanting in
• 1:14:38
  envy by nick knight i recently read that i arc
• 1:14:41
  read it it recently came out and so that book
• 1:14:43
  is we love book four in the passing through cafe
• 1:14:48
  series and that one is with zef and bryce so
• 1:14:52
  zef is asexual agender and they are one of the
• 1:14:56
  people that work at the cafe they're like the
• 1:14:58
  baker they work like baking the things and they
• 1:15:05
  recently lost a roommate and so they have an
• 1:15:08
  open bedroom and they happen to learn that Bryce
• 1:15:11
  needs a place to stay in purgatory because he
• 1:15:13
  is coming to work at like a work study program
• 1:15:16
  he's a veterinarian so he's going to come work
• 1:15:18
  in purgatory on animals in purgatory to learn
• 1:15:21
  about them and stuff and Bryce is demisexual
• 1:15:23
  pronouns he him So Bryce moves in with Zeph and
• 1:15:27
  it's really sweet because Zeph is like very particular
• 1:15:29
  about their space and like has just very structured
• 1:15:33
  routines around how they live. And one of the
• 1:15:36
  things is like they have this mug system and
• 1:15:39
  they're like very concerned about the mug system.
• 1:15:41
  It's really cute. I picked Enchanted by Envy
• 1:15:45
  because I related with Zeph and their relationship
• 1:15:49
  and they're asexual. myself consider I consider
• 1:15:53
  myself asexual and I just really related to the
• 1:15:56
  way that the relationship was between them I
• 1:15:58
  found so much comfort in reading the way that
• 1:16:01
  Zeph and Bryce were together because it starts
• 1:16:04
  really slow like they are just roommates and
• 1:16:06
  in fact it's like Bryce is not having the best
• 1:16:08
  time when they first move in um he's like Zeph's
• 1:16:12
  kind of really picky and like this is a lot um
• 1:16:15
  but they're always really nice and like they're
• 1:16:19
  very good at talking to each other about like
• 1:16:20
  hey like you know if you want me to do things
• 1:16:23
  a specific way when it comes to the mugs like
• 1:16:25
  you know let me know or or whatever like they're
• 1:16:27
  really respectful oh eventually Bryce starts
• 1:16:30
  like noticing that like he likes being around
• 1:16:32
  Zeph and he likes he starts to realize he likes
• 1:16:35
  Zeph and Zeph is um one of the things that Zeph
• 1:16:38
  doesn't like being touched they are touch averse
• 1:16:40
  and so really the only person that touches Zeph
• 1:16:43
  I think is Tad who's like this We don't know
• 1:16:46
  what Tad is. We don't worry about what Tad is.
• 1:16:48
  We don't know. But very few people really have
• 1:16:53
  any physical contact with Zeph, and that's the
• 1:16:55
  way they like it. Everyone's really respectful
• 1:16:56
  about it. Actually, it's really sweet because
• 1:16:58
  all the cafe family are really protective of
• 1:17:02
  Zeph because they're so, I don't know how to
• 1:17:05
  say it, but because they are protective of their
• 1:17:09
  physical space. It's really sweet. Everyone's
• 1:17:12
  always making sure. Yeah, but over time, like,
• 1:17:14
  they start, like, it's just, like, the brush
• 1:17:17
  of a hand against Zeph's hand when they're walking
• 1:17:20
  down the hallway. Or, like, a hand on the back
• 1:17:25
  when you're passing by. Like, it starts, like,
• 1:17:28
  such small, soft brushes like that. There's never
• 1:17:31
  a point in the relationship where it gets really
• 1:17:34
  deeply sexual or anything like that. There's
• 1:17:36
  kissing and cuddling and affection. But I just
• 1:17:39
  really liked how it is a perfectly loving, complete
• 1:17:42
  relationship between two people with respect
• 1:17:46
  to Zef and how they identify as asexual. And
• 1:17:49
  I just really liked the representation of it
• 1:17:51
  showing a happy, healthy... relationship between
• 1:17:55
  two people who both they're not both asexual
• 1:17:58
  only only Zeph is but Bryce takes such care and
• 1:18:01
  consideration when it comes to Zeph because he's
• 1:18:04
  always super respectful and like asking you know
• 1:18:06
  what is okay with Zeph what Zeph needs so like
• 1:18:08
  there's yeah there's a part where like where
• 1:18:11
  Bryce is like super excited and he like isn't
• 1:18:16
  sure like what is okay what's not okay and so
• 1:18:19
  like they talk about it and I think there's like
• 1:18:21
  a part where where like Zeph does like watch
• 1:18:23
  him like jack off but like it's not there's like
• 1:18:27
  never pressure or expectation and it's more just
• 1:18:30
  like a curiosity or to watch and like Zeph is
• 1:18:32
  like open like i'm flattered that you're attracted
• 1:18:35
  to me like this oh yeah it's really cute i don't
• 1:18:38
  know like i it does like there it does have spicy
• 1:18:41
  scenes like there it is spicy and that like it's
• 1:18:43
  hot how attracted bryce is and how he finds such
• 1:18:48
  enjoyment and just like just cuddling and zeph
• 1:18:51
  zeph is the same way like zeph loves being around
• 1:18:54
  Bryce and like being in his space and there's
• 1:18:57
  like the comfort of having someone to come home
• 1:19:00
  to and having your partner it's just such a sweet
• 1:19:03
  loving adorable I just want to scream about this
• 1:19:06
  book so much it makes me so happy I've only read
• 1:19:12
  I think i want to say like two books that have
• 1:19:14
  asexual representation it's this one and there
• 1:19:18
  was a an emmy sanders book i i mean it's not
• 1:19:21
  a super common thing in the books in the romance
• 1:19:23
  books i feel like but i just really like the
• 1:19:25
  representation and i liked how safe and sweet
• 1:19:28
  and normal it like it was just written so normally
• 1:19:31
  it wasn't like the whole book isn't isn't written
• 1:19:33
  about the fact that zephyrs are asexual it just
• 1:19:36
  happens to be that they are asexual if that makes
• 1:19:38
  sense yeah I'm just going to throw in my obligatory
• 1:19:41
  E .M. Lindsay recommendations. They have some
• 1:19:47
  really great ace rep in some of their books.
• 1:19:49
  So just throwing that out there. I need to read
• 1:19:52
  more. Isn't Lando asexual? Oh, yes. Yes. Sorry.
• 1:19:58
  Lando from Try Again Later is asexual. Finding
• 1:20:01
  You by E .M. Lindsay is the book that I was going
• 1:20:03
  to shout out. I wanted to add a little bit more
• 1:20:08
  about the Enchanted. Just a quick thing. I just
• 1:20:11
  really like there's a part where because Zeph
• 1:20:14
  doesn't have any desire for sex or anything like
• 1:20:17
  that. There's a quote. They may have been wired
• 1:20:20
  differently than most, but they were not wired
• 1:20:22
  wrong. Tad told them so and Tad did not lie to
• 1:20:25
  them. And I just really like that. Yeah, definitely.
• 1:20:30
  I thought it was just really sweet. And so I'm
• 1:20:31
  like in my 30s. I did not really. know or realize
• 1:20:36
  about myself that I was asexual until much later
• 1:20:39
  in my life and it was kind of like an awakening
• 1:20:41
  for me like to realize like oh wow because that's
• 1:20:46
  something you think that you would know and so
• 1:20:48
  to know that like it's yeah it's really not but
• 1:20:53
  to realize like for there's a reason why I've
• 1:20:55
  always struggled with that with that like that
• 1:20:57
  part of my life and so to to kind of have a reason
• 1:21:01
  not a reason but to have that realization of
• 1:21:03
  like oh this is the normal thing that like a
• 1:21:05
  lot of people feel was really healing and that's
• 1:21:09
  why I love reading it in books and especially
• 1:21:11
  this book one because I love the series but also
• 1:21:13
  because Nick Knight Has done such an amazing
• 1:21:16
  job of writing. Just the sweetest. It's such
• 1:21:19
  a funny book. Such a sweet book. It made my.
• 1:21:24
  It's just the best book. That's all for today
• 1:21:29
  folks. Good job everybody. Listen. Listen this
• 1:21:33
  episode. It has taken a lot from us. This is
• 1:21:38
  really. What more do you want? Just let us go.
• 1:21:45
  Well, with that, I guess we're gonna... Listen,
• 1:21:51
  we're not mad. We still love you. We're just
• 1:21:54
  tired now. And I need a Red Bull. Daddies are
• 1:21:59
  tired. We've got another episode to record. yeah
• 1:22:04
  okay yeah so all right well that is that's everybody's
• 1:22:09
  uh everybody's deep dive that's the buddy read
• 1:22:12
  so thank you for listening we love you yes bye
• 1:22:19
  bye that's all for this week we are gonna scurry
• 1:22:25
  back okay that's done we would love it if you
• 1:22:28
  join us next thursday for more rat shenanigans
• 1:22:31
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• 1:22:33
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• 1:22:50
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• 1:22:54
  Hey Brats, it's Editor Megan here with the Rat
• 1:22:58
  King shout outs for the month. rat king is small
• 1:23:01
  but rat king is mighty we have two new rat kings
• 1:23:05
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• 1:23:14
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• 1:23:17
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• 1:23:31
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• 1:23:36
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