Latest / Birthright: Physiological Birth Stories / Lauren's Story | 3 Freebirths: What She’s Learned Along the Way | Sharing Her Story Online

Transcript

Lauren's Story | 3 Freebirths: What She’s Learned Along the Way | Sharing Her Story Online · Birthright: Physiological Birth Stories

• Taylor: welcome more into the podcast. Lauren: thank you for having me. Taylor: Yes, I'm so excited. I actually found you because I'm not huge on Instagram. I don't really scroll, but I'm like I kinda need to get on there if I wanna have, you know, a podcast and find guests. And so I found you. I was literally gonna go to Instagram and I'm like, let's just see what I can find. You were the first thing to pop up on my screen. Lauren: Kennedy. Taylor: And I saw your free birth with your current baby. I didn't realize that you are so newly postpartum. that's amazing. And I saw your story and Lauren: Yes. Taylor: I saw your birth, and I saw your daughter, and I'm like, my gosh. This is like it how my birth was. my kids were there, and I'm like, this is exactly the type of woman I want to interview. So I literally messaged you like right away. I'm like, yeah, I need her on my podcast. Yes. Lauren: That is crazy. Perfect timing. That is amazing. I love how things like that work out. Taylor: So I know. And then I kind of saw that you kinda got hate but also a lot of love at the same time. I just it's kind of Lauren: my goodness. Yes. And you know what's crazy is I actually was not planning on announcing my pregnancy. So for the last like three babies. I have six babies. So for the last three babies Taylor: Uh-huh. Lauren: I've kind of kept them a secret. Just you know, like Taylor: Yeah. Lauren: one of them like completely until her birth and then the other two were just like halfway. Taylor: Wow. Lauren: I'm not ready for the hate of how I choose to birth. You know, I'm not really ready to Taylor: Mm-hmm. Lauren: talk about that. Or that's how I was feeling all year. And then here I am. Taylor: Right. Lauren: putting my whole birth vlog on Instagram and Facebook for the world to see. So it's kind of a crazy turn of events how things happened. Taylor: that that's very interesting because I'm super private too. Like with the majority of my pregnancies, I was overseas with my husband because he played basketball Lauren: Yeah. Taylor: overseas. And it's easy to hide. I the longest we waited was like 26 weeks for some family, you know? And Lauren: Wow. Taylor: The only reason we told is because we're about to be home, so let's just go ahead and tell because we don't wanna They just stopped getting excited after Uh-huh. They stopped getting excited after Lauren: Yeah. Surprise. That's how it started happening this last time. Taylor: baby number two, which is crazy, but anyways Lauren: I know. It's like once you have two or three, they're like, you maxed your family household size, so that's it. Taylor: Yeah, and it and it's like, yeah, maybe for you. But okay. Lauren: Yeah, exactly. Taylor: So I just want you to you know, tell us a little bit about yourself and kinda get into maybe who you were a little bit before you became a mom and then what ultimately led you to having a free birth, a the ultimate physiological birth. Lauren: Okay, so I would say that I've first of all I've always known that I wanted to be a mom. Like that was just, you know, if you ask me what I wanted to be when I grew up, it was a mom. Like that's what I wanted to do. So Taylor: Yes. Lauren: as a teenager, I was always watching those lifetime shows of like ER deliveries, like bird like labor and delivery shows on A and E and like lifetime stuff like that. I can't even remember. Taylor: Mm-hmm. Lauren: But I was totally like obsessed with birth. But the only births that I knew about were, you know, in the hospital, the typical interventions, Taylor: Mm. Lauren: C-sections, things like that. So I didn't have such a great view on birth. and I had my first really early. I was 17 when I got pregnant, 18 when I had him. And so at that point in my life, I'm just kind of used to, the elders know best, you know, do what they say. So Taylor: Mm. Lauren: that's kind of how it went with my pregnancy and delivery. And It led to being induced at thirty nine weeks just, you know, for convenience and a lot of innerva interventions like an epesiotomy, like the potosin, you know, things like that. So it just didn't go so well and I had a really rough recovery, breastfeeding didn't go well. You know, it just it wasn't your first magical birth that you would picture. Taylor: Mm. Lauren: So by the time I I was Pregnant again with my second, I was a little bit more crunchy, you would say. I was I I d I don't know where I was at really at that point, but for sure by my third, my third baby, I was like, okay, we're gonna do something different here. We're gonna try a midwife because that's what I hear great things about, right? Okay, well, Taylor: Mm. Lauren: I at this point I still didn't really know the difference. So I was actually seeing a now I don't even know the proper term, but like a midwife at the hospital, you know? So not really Taylor: Mm-hmm. Lauren: like more of a a natural midwife, but more of a still of a medical midwife, if that makes sense. I know there's a different term, Taylor: Right, yeah. Yeah. Lauren: but I cannot think of the term now off the top of my head. So it was still Yeah, that's what I want to say. Like nurse midwife. So Taylor: Is it like the nurse nurse midwife type? Okay. Lauren: it was still, you know, a little bit more it was a little more natural, but still very fear based I would say. I don't I don't Taylor: Mm. Lauren: want to really use that term, but things didn't really go my way as I was hoping for. But then again I still I don't think I really knew what was my way. Like I knew that these things didn't feel right to me. It didn't feel natural. It didn't feel like things were going as they should. So I just knew that there was something off. But by the end of that third delivery, I was at the hospital at the postpartum room saying, if I ever have another baby, which I didn't think I would, I will not break the hospital. I just, I know that this is not where I'm gonna be, and we're gonna do something different. I don't know what that means, but it's not gonna be this. And luckily, right around that time, I had two Facebook friends that had recently had home births and posted their pictures and story on Facebook. And I was like, hold on, y'all are doing that? Taylor: Mm-hmm. Lauren: Like yeah, I know you. You we're from the same place. We can do that. And it got my Taylor: Mm-hmm. Lauren: wheels turning and I was like, I think this is what I'm supposed to be doing. But then at that point, like I was not planning on having any more babies. So I was just like, you know, it's I guess kind of like a I wish I could have done that type thing. So I didn't do too Taylor: Right. Lauren: much l research on it. until I got pregnant again and I was like, yeah, we're there's no way we're not going to the hospital. Taylor: Mm-hmm. Lauren: You know, I've got to figure out the real midwife that I need. And I get really, really sick during my pregnancies. So for my fourth pregnancy, I was like on the couch in bed researching what I was really looking for. So I'm I'm trying to figure out, you know, can we even afford a midwife? who is around me? Is there a l you know, anybody local? And we're in Dallas, Texas, so obviously there's gonna be somebody around. Taylor: My husband's from Dallas, Lauren: So like I knew we weren't gonna be short of experience. But Taylor: Mm-hmm. Lauren: at this point I'm like, maybe maybe already like three or four months into the pregnancy and I haven't seen anybody yet. And I'm realizing like, hey, I'm kind of taking care of myself here, you know, and, you know Taylor: Mm-hmm. Lauren: I just start thinking like that, like maybe do I even need to, you know, really go for these appointments where I'm gonna be sitting in the waiting room uncomfortable and farfing and you know, things like that. And then I started learning about free birth, literally as I'm pregnant and still Taylor: Wow. Lauren: questioning what I'm doing. I had never even heard of free birth before this point. And so Taylor: Mm. Lauren: that's how quickly my decision went from never having a hospital birth, okay, we're gonna home birth, and now we're free birthing. And I told my husband what I was thinking and he was like Are you sure? And I was like, I'm pretty sure. I'm pretty sure this is what we're doing. Like, I think this is what we're doing. And that's what Taylor: Yeah. Lauren: we did. And I like when I tell you, we were both a little scared just because nobody around Taylor: Mm-hmm. It's real. Lauren: us. Yeah. Nobody around us had done this. And of course, like I I should have mentioned that I do have low risk pregnancies and deliveries other than being sick. Taylor: Mm. Yes. Lauren: So I was already like, I think I know what I'm doing. I feel like I can do this. And that's another thing. Like I really was feeling led to this. I was not feeling like, you know, like, I saw somebody birthing in a tub at home. That looked cool. I think I'm gonna do that for Instagram pictures. No, at this point I was not telling Taylor: Yeah. Lauren: anybody my plans. Like, are you Taylor: Mm. Lauren: crazy? But then we did also this is one of my pregnancies that I waited until like halfway to tell people and we were actually living across the street from family. So I knew that I was gonna have to tell them my plans. And they were all like, What? I was not planning on really telling anybody because I've also been a people pleaser and like to let people influence me based on their opinions and what they think is best. So I was trying to avoid that situation by not really telling anyone and just you know going along with my plan. I felt like that would be easier. But I mean in the end they were all supportive, honestly. Just like, what do you mean? Like that sounds crazy, you know? so with my bursts, I think that really keeping them to myself was how I was able to go through with it. And because I was Taylor: Mm-hmm. Lauren: still really nervous. Like, I the whole time I'm like, what are you doing? What are you thinking? Like, you're about to do this at home in your bathtub. And Taylor: Hehehe Lauren: I will tell you that I was scared all the way up until I was maybe like eight months pregnant. And I actually had a dream that I gave birth to a perfect baby boy in my bathtub. In my exact bath's room, like everything went so perfect and beautiful. And that dream calmed me so much. I was like, okay, I think that I can actually do this, you know? And Taylor: Mm-hmm. Lauren: from there, like, I was just like, we're gonna pray about it. We're just gonna keep positive and we're gonna do this. And it was the best decision I've ever made. And then again, like after my fourth home birth, I was like, Okay, if we ever have another baby, we're doing this again. And aga again, I did not plan on having any more babies, but since then we've done it two more times at home. Which is crazy to me. Taylor: Wow, so three free birds? Lauren: Three free births. Taylor: Wow, that's inspirational. 'Cause I've only had one. I've had three or three home births, but two were with a midwife. I had two Lauren: Wow. Taylor: with my third because I was in a foreign country and it's illegal for free birth. But yeah, I that's I Lauren: well Taylor: always think like, would I do it again? I don't think I could do it another way. But at the same time it's like people think that once you do it that you just fearless. And it's like, no, never that. It's you know what I'm saying? I mean Lauren: No, no, because even this last time I was scared. Taylor: Right, but like it's like Lauren: I don't think that fear ever goes away. Taylor: it's it doesn't, but it's something that you have to work through each I feel like each time. It's something that Lauren: for sure. Taylor: it's not like you're making some irrational, irresponsible decision. You are literally thinking about it every single day. Nonstop. You're doing your research non-stop. You're like praying. Yes, yes, yes. Lauren: Yeah. And double checking. Taylor: And like I like you said, I also felt very called. it's definitely something that you're called to do. It's not something that you say, like, I saw somebody else do it, so I'm going to. It's not that at all. And I feel like that's what people think it is, you know. Lauren: Yeah, for sure. Mm-hmm. Taylor: But go ahead, go on to your second one or your third. It does err. Lauren: So Yeah, so with my second one, it was kinda like, you know, the same thing. I just automatically knew I I'm gonna free birth again. Like that's our plan. and we were actually in a transitional move. we moved like three different times for work during this. And so a lot of stress came was like, Am I even gonna have a tub to birth in? you know, 'cause that's what I was already used to. But again, that birth went beautiful. the only thing with that birth, with my fifth birth, was my water broke Friday morning at around I think 10 a.m. And then no contractions started up, anything. I was like, you know, I know this is my water leaking. And so I kind of got a little worried in that situation. But luckily it was crazy because during that pregnancy I had been reading multiple stories about the water breaking, you know, a few hours before labor started, or even 24 hours, you know, it's my water's been leaking 24 hours. What do I do? Da-da-da. All these different scenarios where this has happened. And all I do, you know, I guess whenever I see a post, I read their question and I go read all the comments because I want to know what if that happens to me. Taylor: Mm hmm. Yeah. Lauren: And so when it happened Taylor: Mm-hmm. Lauren: to me, of course, I was like I started getting very nervous and I was scared. But then I thought about everything that I had read, you know? And I don't know, I guess just knowing the stories of other women and their positive outcomes and how this is a variation of normal, knowing these things, it kept me calm. And she was born beautifully, almost 24 hours. Well, actually, it was 24 hours. This one was almost 24 hours later. So With my fifth birth, my water broke Friday, ten AM, and she was born Saturday at one PM. So a full I think it was like twenty six hours. I have it written down. I should have put my notes in front of me. But Taylor: It's okay. Lauren: that and you know, I should have mentioned also that I've had six babies, but only three times has my water broke. So Taylor: Mm. Lauren: that was another thing. I think she was on she was my second time that my water had broke. So even then you're like Is this, you know, is this what I think it is? Everything is still so new, each birth. I don't care how many babies you have. And like you said, like you Taylor: Yes. Lauren: know, that fear never goes away. So even with my six, the whole time I'm pregnant, I'm like, can I do this? my gosh, labor's coming, you know, birth is gonna hurt, these contractions, you start, you have these fears. And then I started feeling called to share what my plans were, which was absolutely insane to me. So before I even have Taylor: Yeah. Lauren: my sixth or my third free birth, my sixth baby, I am sharing what I am intending to do. And of course, the world is instantly putting their fears onto me in the comments. And I Taylor: That's a lot. Lauren: really, I really just had to avoid the comments because I could not stop sharing what I was like, what I was experiencing, what I was planning, you know. Something was just telling me, you know, you need you just need to start sharing this in the process. And all of the negative comments never held me back. Of course, they did start, weighing on me, you know, when I'm laying in bed going to sleep at night. I'm like, what if they're right? You know, what if am I doing, Taylor: Mm-hmm. It was human, yeah. Lauren: you know, you know, you just start feeling letting that sink in. And then it's like, no, hold on. I've already done this before. I know what I've learned. Taylor: Mm. Lauren: I know what I've I'm teaching myself, you know. I you start getting your confidence back. And she actually, this was another thing. This was something new. She was late, so to speak, from my due date. So we Taylor: Mm. Lauren: were due August 17th. So of course 40 weeks comes and everybody's like, you know, you should be having your baby now. Like, well, I've already had one baby at 40 weeks and four days. So I kind of, you know, I'm not too worried about that. Taylor: Mm. Lauren: But then we get to 41 weeks and I'm like Okay, you know, he this is another fear people have. And to me, I wasn't really too worried other than the fact of I'm sharing my story and people are like, You're still pregnant, you know, according what we as far as we know, you're still pregnant. And so I was like, Taylor: Right. Lauren: Here's here's just another fear that I'm gonna have to break the stigma about and share more of why this is a variation of normal. She ended up coming at 41 weeks and five days. according to Taylor: Ha ha Lauren: my last menstrual cycle. So that was just another Taylor: Yes. Lauren: another new this time. So my sixth baby, I'm still experiencing something different. But I'm still Taylor: Mm. Lauren: still comfortable and feeling led to do this at home and do this myself. And that's another thing. Like I I think I've had so much trouble in the past of letting other people's opinions influence me and, you know kind of just being a people pleaser and be like, Okay, well, I wanted to do it this way, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it that way because that's what you're telling me. And Taylor: Mm. Lauren: I can't remember what point I was making with this statement, but I think that I Taylor: Yeah. Lauren: totally lost my train of thought. Taylor: Hey, you're postpartum, that's your excuse. do it all the time still. Lauren: Crazy. It's crazy. And I told myself I told myself like I'm gonna have my bullet points ready for this so I can talk about all the things that I want to talk about. Taylor: Yeah. Lauren: And of course that did it happen, you know. And that's what Taylor: Yeah. Lauren: they say, once you have six kids, it's like you just need to add an extra hour to whatever you gotta do. Each kid just keep adding an hour. 'Cause I always think I have all the time in the world and that doesn't happen. But Taylor: Yes. Yeah. I I understand. I only have four. I've always said like I wanted six since I was in high school. I don't know if that Lauren: Do it. Taylor: will happen. I don't I just go in with the flow, but I get it 'cause I'm at four and I feel that way. Lauren: Yeah, that's how it goes. I know. And I think that's like once you have four, it's like, yeah, I can totally handle anything. Taylor: Honestly, I was looking at my kids earlier and they're just everywhere, you know. They're just like Lauren: Yeah, yeah. Taylor: and I'm just like looking at all of them, I'm like, wow. Like those all like Lauren: Yeah, I know. Taylor: they all came out of me. Like I at one point. It's Lauren: That's crazy. That's crazy. Taylor: like I've really went through this for the last eight years just over and over. Lauren: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And then it's even crazier when the the children you birthed are actually watching you birth children. It's like we're just added to the crew. And I think that's one of the Taylor: Yes yes and I I th Lauren: things I love most about home birth is the babies being able to be involved. Taylor: Yes, I was gonna say I was so with your recent one, how your daughter was I watching you. Obviously it's special for your sons too. Like don't get Lauren: Yes. Taylor: me wrong, 'cause I have two sons as well. And them getting to see it for their future wives to be able to support them. Lauren: Mm-hmm. Taylor: But like your daughter is gonna be the one that's physically going through that. Lauren: Yeah. Taylor: And just seeing her smile on her face, like it that's normal in your household. That's gonna be normal in her household. You know what I'm saying? Lauren: Yeah. Taylor: that is so it's very special. And I was so happy to Lauren: Mm that we Taylor: see that. Lauren: Yes, I know. I know exactly what you mean. that was one of the things that was most important to me also was when I decided to start choosing to birth differently was I knew all of I guess my concerns that I had for myself and all the choices that I didn't get to make or all of the things, you know, that were chosen for me. And I wanted to make sure that she knows she has a voice and her Opinions matter. What she wants matters. And I wanted her to know that she can do it differently. She doesn't just have to accept what the world is giving her. And I think that was Taylor: Yes. Lauren: one of my main reasons for wanting to birth at home. And now that Taylor: Mm-hmm. Lauren: she's seen me do it three times, I'm I hope that she'll have the confidence to do the same. Taylor: Hey, she'll be like, mom, I'm in labor and you're gonna be there and sh everything's gonna be fine. Yes, yes. I think Lauren: Yep. I'll be her doula at that point. Taylor: about that with my daughters too. Like, I want to be there for them. And even like my daughter in laws. I hope that my sons Lauren: Yes. yes. Taylor: are like, hey, we're doing this, you know, because this is what my mom did. Yes, yeah. Lauren: Yes, I really pray for that relationship too. It'd be the best. Taylor: So tell us about how for this last one, how did labor start? what was your mindset going in? because some people, you know, you talk about the the fear, but once you it starts, like for me personally, that fear just went away and it never was present during the labor itself. I wonder if is that the same for you or how did that go for you? Lauren: So I right before labor started, I think I was kind of feeling a little irritated just, you know, being pregnant and Taylor: Mm-hmm. Lauren: uncomfortable and I was I was catching up on rest. So I I really try to rest a lot when I know labor's soon. but I was like, man, I have a to do list, I need a I wanna sweep the back porch, I wanna do this, you know, so I was just irritated and I was like, Today I'm cleaning, I am getting some stuff done. And so that was my mindset when I woke up. So I went outside on the back porch and I started like sweeping and like I was dusting cobwebs with the broom and doing crazy stuff. Walk back inside the house and I think I'm like picking clothes up out of the hallway and I'm like, my gosh. I'm like, guys, I think my water just broke. Talking to the kids, like my water just broke, or I'm using the restroom right now. So excuse me for a minute. So I go and like it is that kind of like, what is this really happening? You know, kind of like a little panic moment. It was my water. And so I was like, okay, wait, hold on. I've been waiting for this moment and now I'm kind of in shock. Don't know what to do. But I think Taylor: Mm-hmm. Lauren: it takes it a minute to like sink in, you know? So I was like, we're gonna be delivering a baby today. I'm kind of nervous, you know? you know what's coming. You know the pain is coming. So you have a moment Taylor: Yeah. Lauren: of let me let this sink in. And I just took a deep breath and I got back busy finishing up what I was doing. Like I think I was, you know, starting clothes and stuff like that. So it's like, let me just continue with my day. Because with my last my fifth birth, you know, my labor my water broke and then labor didn't even start for like another day, technically. So I was like, let me just Taylor: Mm. Lauren: finish what I'm gonna do, what I'm doing. I'm not gonna panic or anything like that. I'm gonna continue our day. And Yeah, it kind of started off slow. I just had little contractions here and there. And I think that it did kind of I guess like the fear of labor kind of drifts away. Then I just start getting bored and I'm like, okay, can we get things on the road here? Like Taylor: Yeah. Lauren: I'm ready to I'm ready, you know? And that's exactly how my daughter was. She's like, Can you hurry up and have this baby? It's today the day. Come on. You know, so I don't have I have her like making me feel even more impatient. Like, I know, we're trying. But Taylor: Mm. Lauren: once that once labor started, I was like, okay, we're you know, we're doing this. Labor didn't actually start until the next morning at about four a.m. I woke up, well actually I think I woke up about two or three and I was like, okay, that was a tough contraction. But I was able to go back to bed until four. And then that's when they really started kicking in. And I I would say that I was the calmest I've ever been. in any of my labors and I guess you would say because it was my sixth one. So I'm more focused. I know that I do better when I don't talk as much, when it's dark, when I can just, you know, kind of be in my own world, be slow. And my husband knows that too. Like he knows I don't really I Taylor: Mm. Lauren: don't want too much touching. I don't want to talk. I don't want to answer questions. And luckily my labors do tend to start early morning or at night. So my kids are always asleep. Taylor: Mm-hmm. Lauren: Because one of the hardest things in labor is having a toddler who wants to snuggle and love on you. You know, I've had that happen Taylor: Yeah. Lauren: before, but it's not the worst thing that can happen. But they they are all Taylor: Right. Lauren: asleep. So I'm just kind of, you know, in my own world, in my own thoughts and focusing on breathing. For each contraction, I'm either just praying, saying birth affirmations, or I will be in the most random memory. Like I had a blanket that's one of those, Crochet woven blankets, you know, so it has like big gaps. Taylor: Mm-hmm. Lauren: It's like a net. So like I'm gripping onto the net and it reminded me of a childhood playground where I would go and like climb the nets. And so during a contraction or a few of them, I'm thinking about being at this playground and being a little kid. Just anything that can distract me from the pain, but also as a like link Taylor: Wow. That's smart. Yeah. Lauren: into the pain, you know? Like I don't know how to explain Taylor: Mm-hmm. Lauren: that. My mind is gone, but my body is. working and surrendering with the contractions, you know. I'm just really trying to focus on anything but the contraction, except for let's get through the contraction, you know, because I know that Taylor: Mm-hmm. Lauren: it's starting, it's gonna go, it's gonna go, and we're gonna be clenching our teeth and our fists together, but then it's gonna go away and you'll get to breathe, you know, you'll be calm. So I think having that reminder constantly. helps me get through it. And then with this last one, I was more I guess aware of the each phase of labor, I Taylor: yeah. Lauren: knew like when she was, you know, right there. I'm like, I'm like, look, this next contraction, Taylor: Ha ha Lauren: you're gonna be pushing out a baby. So get ready. And of course I'm I can't really vocalize that to my husband in the moment. Taylor: yeah. Yeah. Lauren: But I think I did say something like like babies coming next or you know I said something like that. And then I did like the next contraction, I got her head out and I'm in a position where he couldn't really tell, but I said I said head and he was like, Okay, that's good. Don't push too hard. I was like, I'm like, no, her head's out. That's what I'm thinking of like her I'm holding her head right now. Like I've literally have her hair in her ear in my hand. And that was, I Taylor: wow. Lauren: think, really the first time that I had experienced that in labor. So that was something brand new where I was I catching my own baby, you know. So that was Taylor: Wow, yeah. Lauren: a new, new experience. But Taylor: Did he catch your other two? Lauren: yeah, so with our first home birth, I was leaned more back on my side, kind of like with my leg up. And Taylor: Uh-huh. Lauren: I was using the wall for support with pushing. And so when the baby Taylor: Mm-hmm. Lauren: came out, he scooped him up and put him on me. And Taylor: Yeah. Lauren: then with our fifth, which was our second home birth, I was squatted on all fours. And she how did she? I think she was in the front, like I leaned back and then I pulled her up. So yeah, he's only caught one so far. All Taylor: Okay. Lauren: right, baby. So far, I say that like, my goodness. No, we're not planning on anymore. Taylor: Hey, Lauren: Magino, whatever happens. Taylor: I after after after our fourth my husband caught her and he's so convinced that like this baby loves him the most because Lauren: Yeah. Taylor: he caught her. He was the first one in the chance. Lauren: Mine said the same. That is hilarious. That is so funny. Taylor: They really do. They have like the they all my kids love their dad and they all have great connections. Lauren: Yeah. Taylor: But she was much earlier than the other ones. Like normally they're all mom at first, but yeah, he was like, Yeah, we Lauren: sweet. Yeah. Taylor: can do that like all day long. And I'm like, Yeah, you can Lauren: That is awesome. Yeah, it is it is such an experience for sure. And after our first home birth, like, you know, he was very nervous because I'm the main one choosing this and doing the research. But now he's like, Yeah, this is the way it's supposed to go. He'll share. He's like, you y'all need a birth at home. Taylor: Yep, that's how that's how my husband was too. He was like, Lauren: Mm. Taylor: Man, I can take naps and I mean, 'cause he knows that I'm like I'm Lauren: Mm-hmm. Taylor: okay handling most of it myself, you know. Lauren: Yeah, for sure. Taylor: I think it's so funny, like how the husbands when they first experience it, like they are so on board. At first they'll be like, hmm, I don't know. But Lauren: Mm. Taylor: then it's like They're kinda like whatever, you know. Not like whatever in an irresponsible way, but just because Lauren: Yeah. Taylor: they have trust in what we do, you know. Lauren: Yeah, it's like, all right, w we know we can do this, so cool. We'll do it again. I love that. Taylor: So back to your story. Lauren: Mm-hmm. Taylor: So you get to the head. Lauren: I have with one contraction, you know, I get her head out and then the next contraction comes and I know this is I this is how it's gone for pretty much all of my births, if I remember right. Well, not really my My hospital bursts I didn't push too long. I can't tell you the exact amount of contractions, but I know like maybe fifteen, twenty minutes. But that was, you Taylor: Mm-hmm. Lauren: know, what's the word? When they coached contractions. So they were telling me when Taylor: Mm-hmm. Lauren: to push, you know, how to feel. With my three home bursts, I always waited for fur and actually didn't even know what fur was for my first home birth, by the way, I don't think. I'm pretty sure. with my first home birth, I started experiencing the fetal ejection reflex. And I was like, what is happening? literally, like, you know, because I get sick. So I throw up while I'm pregnant. And I was like, hold on, am I like, am I about to be sick right now? Like, is that what's happening? Cause my belly just started like jumping. And I was like, What is happening? And you know, obviously feeling the baby being pushed out. And so for the first like maybe few seconds of that contraction, I was like, what in the world is going on? And then I was like, okay, let me bear down with this and see what happens. And so that's what I started Taylor: Yes, yes. Lauren: doing. And then for my second home birth, I experienced that as well. But I knew what it was. So I was like, okay, here we go. We know we're going. And then for my third home birth, that happened again. And so I knew with the once I got her head out with that second contraction, I was like, I can get her shoulder and bodies out with this next contraction. So I kind of I guess you would say I wasn't scared because I knew like, you know, within two contractions I'm gonna have her out. And that's exactly how it happened. She our one giant push and got her out Taylor: Mm-hmm. Lauren: and I leaned back well, it took me a second, you know, you're still kind of out of it, I guess. So Took me a second to like lean back, and just pulled her up. And I am I'm I guess I should have mentioned that we're in the tub, we're doing a water birth. So, you know, I pull her up out of the water and we don't see the gender with this is a surprise gender baby. So I do Taylor: Yes. Lauren: my best to like just hold her close so I can get, you know, situated, like get comfortable, catch my breath. And then my Taylor: Mm-hmm. Lauren: daughter was She was just outside the door, probably scrolling her phone or something, 'cause she was awake for the whole whole time. She could not wait. Taylor: wow. Lauren: And that's when she rushed in and she's like, my goodness. And I was just the first thing on my mind was go get your brothers and your baby sister so we could find out if she's a boy or a girl. And Taylor: Yeah. Lauren: she's a girl. But it was like it really was a quick Taylor: my gosh. Lauren: labor. It was I would technically say it started about four thirty a.m. and then she was born at seven forty three a.m. So just about really three Taylor: Wow. Lauren: hours of active labor where I was, you know, on my exercise ball and really having to like sway through those contractions. So it was really, really fast. Taylor: Mm-hmm. Lauren: And I 100% think that's because we do this at home. You know, we let labor play out. We wait till baby's ready we wait till my body says it's Taylor: Mm-hmm. Lauren: time and we do everything undisturbed I don't even even when my water breaks I personally am not gonna go walk on the curb I'm not gonna you know just try to like Taylor: I'm sorry. Lauren: make it happen quicker I'm very relaxed like I took so many naps and I 100% Taylor: Yes. The same way. I'm like Lauren: yeah like I think that's the way it should be you know Taylor: Yes. And then it's like, okay, like after the baby's born, you know what's also coming. So it's like there's Lauren: Mm-hmm. Taylor: really no rush. Lauren: Exactly. Taylor: you know, obviously like sometimes you're tired of being pregnant, you're excited to meet your baby. Lauren: Mm-hmm. Taylor: But at the end of the day it's like, I'm about to be on the couch for six weeks straight. So so, you know, and then be up and the sleepless night. So enjoy what you can while you can, but also Lauren: Mm-hmm. Exactly. Taylor: I don't know, I I f I do not like all of like the eat all these dates and I mean like I know that dates are actually Lauren: Mm-hmm. Taylor: supposedly like scientifically proven. But what are the other ones? I can't even think. I don't Lauren: Yeah. Taylor: subscribe to any of them, so I don't really keep track with it. Lauren: No, I just personally like letting nature take its course. Like I don't want to try Taylor: Mm. Lauren: to force anything. You know, I'm very laid back in that, you know, that way. So I pe you know, people even ask me, what did you do to prepare for such a easy birth? You know, you made it look so easy, and I'm like, well, you know, I have done this a few times. But but like it's honestly like I Taylor: You did though. You rocked it. Lauren: did not do anything except learn, sleep. Pray, eat, you know, like that's that's my thing. That's what I do. And I'm not out here, you know, doing yoga every morning and doing these stretches Taylor: Ha ha Lauren: and perennial massages and all that. Like, no, I'm not doing any of that. You know, I'm just Taylor: yeah. Lauren: I'm I'm being natural. Like that's all I can say. Like that's really Taylor: Yes. Lauren: the truth. I'm just being. Taylor: I don't feel like our ancestors or anybody was really going through all the things. I think it's just like a societal everybody sees somebody else doing it, so they're gonna do it. I don't know. It's it's weird Lauren: Yeah, for sure, for sure. Taylor: to me. did you tear? In any of your Lauren: No, I didn't. I actually with so with my three hospital births, I did. So my first one I had an apesiotomy. Second one I tore. Taylor: Mm. Lauren: Third one I tore. Third four or my three home births, nothing. N not at all. And one hundred percent Taylor: Yeah. I think that's so Lauren: I believe it's because nobody was, you know, manipulating anything. I was left alone. So Taylor: Yes. My free birth was the only one I didn't tear on. I had also Lauren: Nice. Taylor: had the epesiotomy with my first and then my second it tore right on that line. And then my third, I had just such a small one. My midwife was like, Do you want me to sew it? I'm like, no, just leave it alone. And it was fine. Lauren: Yeah, see. Taylor: But the healing process after and even like taking your first P it's like, Wow, this doesn't even hurt. I couldn't even believe the Lauren: So different. Taylor: things I had to go through with those first three compared to that fourth. Lauren: If I like I wish that I had cameras for all three Taylor: Yeah. Lauren: of my hospital births and that recovery, like I wish I had a little mini vlog of that compared to my home births. my gosh. even like getting up from my tub and walk into my bedroom was easy. And I remember having to get out Taylor: Mm-hmm. Lauren: of a hospital bed to get into a wheelchair and could barely move. Like, my goodness, yes. And like Taylor: You feel like a freight train hit you. Yes. Lauren: Yes, it's crazy. And especially with so with my hospital bursts I did have the epidurals. The first one it worked Taylor: Mm-hmm. Lauren: amazing. Couldn't feel anything. So then of course afterwards it gets it I get hit by that freight train and it's awful. And then with my second and third it it halfway worked and so, you know, that recovery, you know, it was easier because I was already in pain. But then with my Taylor: Mm. Lauren: fourth, I guess with my home burst Filling everything and then I guess it just made postpartum and the afterbirth like so much easier because it was like, this pain is nothing compared to, you know, contractions that actually push out your baby. Taylor: Right. And I also have another question because you have six, I have four. But they always say that after each birth, the shrinking of the uterus gets harder with each one. Has that been true for you? Like it has been for me. No? I feel like that Lauren: No. my gosh, it's been easier. Taylor: really. I Lauren: Yes. Taylor: I feel like mine's gotten worse for whatever reason. Lauren: Really? Taylor: Yes, Lauren: So Taylor: but I'm thinking like, I don't know. Lauren: What do you mean like the pains? Like the contractions? Taylor: Like when you're yes, so when you're breastfeeding and those contractions start in again because your uterus is shrinking, but then like those Lauren: Mm-hmm. Taylor: first that first week. Lauren: You know what? Maybe maybe so. But I feel like maybe it was like shorter. like with her, I feel like it was only really like two or three days. Well, maybe even like two Taylor: Right, yeah. Lauren: days. But they were don't get me wrong, like they they hurt. Like I was some of them had me in tears and I was on my heating pad, like, you know, using that. So like they were hurting. But I don't Taylor: Yeah. that's smart. Lauren: I don't feel like they lasted as long. Like I feel like it Taylor: Okay. Lauren: it was like they were they stopped much sooner, if that makes sense. So maybe yeah, like Taylor: That does, that does. Lauren: it's it's a little harder but quicker. Taylor: Yeah, I know what you mean. I was just curious 'cause you're ahead of me and so I like to Lauren: Yeah. Taylor: try to gain some wisdom when I can. Yeah. Lauren: Yeah, or you you can catch up quick. Taylor: Yeah. Okay. So at the end of each episode, we ask moms two questions. And the first one is, what is your best advice Lauren: Yeah. Taylor: to a mom planning a physiological birth? Lauren: So I think that my, I don't know if this will be the best advice, but it's my top advice is try your best as quick as possible to learn how to block out anybody, anybody who is coming at you with their opinions on why you shouldn't do this or why this is not the best choice. Try your best to quickly block out those fears. Because other people are gonna have fears. They're not going to understand your point of view. They're not going to understand your reasons. And, you know, it's okay. That's gonna happen. They're you know, they're they don't have to make the same decision as you, but it can be really hard to keep on with your choice when you have all of those negative voices in your ear. So I think it's very important to find a supportive partner. find a supportive team, even if that means strangers on the internet, you know, women who have done this before. I think it's very important to surround yourself with like-minded women and mothers who are making the same choices as you or who even, you know, are considering it. I think that it's very important to have those people around you in some way or another. And less of those people who are not supportive of your decision because they're just gonna block you in so many ways. Taylor: Yes. That's perfect actually. Because Lauren: Yeah. Taylor: even the people that you're gonna have at your birth, if you decide to have somebody, they better be on board or it can bring fear into your labor. Lauren: for sure, for sure. Taylor: That was beautiful. Okay. Lauren: Okay. Taylor: My second one is and to my listeners, I just wanna say that The podcast is called Birthright, but it's by the Village Birth Co., which is my whole birth business. And so with the village, we want to be able to support the women we have on our show, their families, and just help them in ways that we can. Like I want it to be an actual village, not just something that is thrown around. I want to be able to help. Lauren: Mm-hmm. Taylor: support and maybe create friendships and even if it's a virtual village around women. I think that we can do that here. So my question to you, Lauren, is how can the village support you? Lauren: I would say by continuing exactly what you're doing, because just you sharing this message and continuing to share our stories, just normal moms like me, I think that's how you help us Taylor: Yes. Lauren: best because if we don't have these stories out there, people are not gonna even know that they have these choices, you know. Like I hear from so many moms, like Wait, we can say no to that or we can do this, you know. So I think that you are best helping not only me, but every woman and mother out there by sharing these stories and getting the message of birth choices out there. So I think that you just you just keep doing what you're doing, girl. You're doing it. Taylor: Well thank you. I appreciate that 'cause I do feel like it is. I know that I listened to a lot of her stories when I was pregnant and I feel like it always helped me, but I wanted it co to come from more of a woman like me that, you know, is just a everyday mom. Like we're not in the woods yelling and you know what I'm saying? Like I'm not Lauren: Yeah. Yeah. Taylor: I don't wanna be like that. But I just I wanted to come from a more regular day girler. Not I'm not calling you regular day. my gosh. Like but just I feel like it's so Lauren: No, totally. No, I know what you mean. No. Totally understand. Like we're literally just a a normal person, like going through the drive thru and I just did my grocery shopping. Yeah, and you know, like I we're we're Taylor: Yes. Lauren: natural minded, but that doesn't mean we're perfect, you know? Just because we're birthing at home doesn't Taylor: Yes. Lauren: mean you have to be an over the top, holistic, everything natural, you know. Like for example, somebody was like in the comments that My baby girl was eating a McDonald's hash brown at my all natural birth and you know how counterproductive it was. And I was like, you know, I I'm not perfect, but I you know, we have my goodness. It was it was funny. I had to go Taylor: I didn't even notice that. Yeah. Lauren: and make a whole separate video of just her eating her hash brown. But it's it's only two because Taylor: my gosh. Lauren: we live in a very, very small town where McDonald's is the only restaurant we have. And of course at four or five in the morning. That's the only thing was that was open and I was not about to have my husband in there cooking me food. So I was like, go get me a hash brown real quick and bad cakes. I couldn't even eat it. But No, see, Taylor: Yeah, yeah. Lauren: now I've lost my train of thought too. But yeah, like no, I totally know what you mean. We're regular everyday moms just doing this. Taylor: Yes. And I feel like also free birth has like this stigma of we have to be like worshiping goddesses and fairy godmothers and like like fertility worship and Lauren: Yeah. Like out hugging trees. Taylor: and I'm just like, that's not what it is. anybody can do this, you know. Lauren: You know, it's funny. It's funny that you say that because I actually made a joke when I was pregnant, that I was one of those crazy home birth moms who's gonna be under the moon and howling at the stars and hey, if that's how you are, I'm I'm not judging, I don't mean anything bad by that. It's just that you don't Taylor: That's you. Yeah. Lauren: not everybody is that same way, you know, so I totally know what you mean. We all live different lives, have different lifestyles and beliefs, Taylor: Yes. But yes. Lauren: so We're just all trying to bring our baby into the world comfortably. Taylor: Right. Yes. But I just feel like that's I just wanna change the narrative that that's not all it is, you know. 'Cause I Lauren: For sure. Taylor: feel kind of just like a everybody thinks it's like a hippie thing, you know, and I can be hippie in my own ways, don't get me wrong. Like I can be Lauren: Yeah. Mm. But I'm still gonna eat McDonalds every now and then. Taylor: Yeah. See I we don't eat McDonalds but that's we've been overseas for so long that it Lauren: In the Taylor: anything, American eating out like inflames us really bad. But that's only because our Lauren: I totally understand that. Taylor: our bodies are just not used to it and it's painful. Like Lauren: I know exactly what you mean. Cause we like we don't do McDonald's often, but when we do, I'm like, okay, fine, we can go get a happy meal. We all are regretting it instantly. And I'm like, why do we do this to ourselves? Taylor: Yes, yeah. My husband, like, he wanted pizza the other day and after we were done eating it, bubble guts, everybody, my kids are like, my gosh. And I'm Lauren: Literally. Taylor: like, sorry guys, I just I I'm sorry. we're not we're not used to this. We're not used to it. Lauren: I I know. I know. And it's like I don't know why I say yes. I try to be the fun mom and then have instant regrets. It's all right, we're not perfect. Taylor: It's okay. Like and that's another Yeah, yeah. I agree. but I also wanted to see like how can the village support you, I'm talking about you in a way of like the listeners, is there somewhere that they can find you, follow you? are you do you have like a business or like I wanna be able to support y'all like and have you know Lauren: Okay, okay, okay, okay. I got you, I got you. So my Taylor: Mm-hmm. Lauren: my Instagram is Lauren Wynn and then two underscores. And that's actually my TikTok as well. And then Facebook is just my name Lauren Wynne. And now I feel so awkward saying this. But everything is Lauren Wynne. That's that's where you can find me at. I don't even know how to how to promote myself. Taylor: No, it's okay. And then did you have a like a t-shirt business maybe? Is that what it is? Okay. Lauren: yeah, I do, I do. So I do make t-shirts. Yes. My business is Happy Vibes clothing. And I started that actually to be home with my kids. Like I, you know, I'm home with my kids. I want to be able to help and support. And then of course, you know, we all love t-shirts. And so I was like, I need to I I want to make my own t shirts. You know, I I want them to be comfy and cute. I don't want to get some man's, you know, rough oversized shirt. So I started making my own at at home with my baby. So we've been doing that like Taylor: that's sweet. Yeah. Lauren: six years now. So yep. We're and I have an Etsy Taylor: Wow. So Lauren: spot. Taylor: an Etsy shop and it's called Lauren: Yeah. Taylor: what did you say it was called? Lauren: Happy Bob's clothing. Taylor: Happy Vibes clothing on Etsy. You'll have to send me the link and I'll put all that Lauren: Mm-hmm. Taylor: in the show notes so that whoever's listening can maybe hopefully so help support you. We'll stay home with your Lauren: You're so sweet for even mentioning that. Taylor: family. Lauren: And you know, it's sometimes like I am so quiet about that most of the time, like that I do t-shirts. Like even when somebody compliments me in the store, like, I love your shirt, I'm never like, thanks, I made it. I you know, I make shirts. So like it really is sweet that you mentioned that. Taylor: You should. Yes. Well, it was so good talking to you, Lauren, and thank you for being on the show. I appreciate you for taking the time from your Lauren: Thank you for having me.