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The Fifth Hour: Finger Ammo & Golf Sh*t! · The Ben Maller Show

0:00
Speaker 1: Kutbooms.
0:02
Speaker 2: If you thought four hours a day, twelve hundred minutes
0:05
Speaker 2: a week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants
0:09
Speaker 2: of the old republic, a sol fashion of fairness. He
0:12
Speaker 2: treats crackheads in the ghetto gutter the same as the
0:15
Speaker 2: rich pill poppers in the penthouse. Wow to a clearinghouse
0:19
Speaker 2: of hot takes, break free for something special. The Fifth
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Speaker 2: Hour with Ben Maller starts right now.
0:28
Speaker 1: In the air everywhere. The Fifth Hour with Me, Ben
0:33
Speaker 1: Mahler and Danny G Radio A Happy Saturday to you.
0:37
Speaker 1: It is the what are we looking at? The sixteenth
0:39
Speaker 1: day today? The sixteenth day of August, and we were
0:43
Speaker 1: just a few weeks away from the start of the
0:45
Speaker 1: real NFL season. And no, I am not partaking in
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Speaker 1: these exhibition games this weekend. I'm not. But that being said,
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Speaker 1: it is national Danny G is National roller Coaster Day today.
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Speaker 1: Are you a roller coaster guy? We we've had this
1:00
Speaker 1: conversation before. I feel like we've talked about this on.
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Speaker 3: That Yeah, yeah, yeah, we talked about this just a
1:05
Speaker 3: couple of weekends ago. I love that one roller coaster
1:08
Speaker 3: in San Diego.
1:09
Speaker 1: Okay, all right, yeah, you mentioned SeaWorld rights turned into
1:13
Speaker 1: a roller coaster place, now, right, that's yeah.
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Speaker 4: They had people picketing outside their park.
1:19
Speaker 3: I don't know what was that. Ten fifteen years ago.
1:22
Speaker 3: People were up in arms when that documentary came out. Remember, yeah,
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Speaker 3: Shamou and the others being bent up and mistreated, and
1:32
Speaker 3: lots of questions about that. And so a couple of
1:36
Speaker 3: changes SeaWorld made was they were only going to rehabilitate
1:40
Speaker 3: sea creatures and not you know, just keep them captive
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Speaker 3: for people's entertainment. Only because of that, they had to
1:47
Speaker 3: shift gears and go in a different direction. And so
1:49
Speaker 3: they started adding roller coasters and rides to their park.
1:53
Speaker 3: And man, they got a couple of really good roller
1:55
Speaker 3: coasters there.
1:56
Speaker 1: That's cool. That's cool. I went to SeaWorld a couple
1:59
Speaker 1: times when I was a kid. There were two things
2:01
Speaker 1: I remember about my trips to sea World. One, my
2:04
Speaker 1: dear old mom was hit in the head with bird
2:09
Speaker 1: crap A bird crapped on my mom's head. She was
2:12
Speaker 1: very upset by that. Next thing, I know, I just
2:14
Speaker 1: saw this white thing flying at my face. It ruined
2:18
Speaker 1: the whole day. And then I also remember seeing Shamoo,
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Speaker 1: the famous Shamoo who's right up there with Elvis and
2:26
Speaker 1: some of the all time legends, and then getting a
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Speaker 1: little shamoo stuffy. When I was a kid, I remember
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Speaker 1: that at the world that was a big thing for
2:33
Speaker 1: good stuffy, right, yeah, yeah, I think I don't know
2:36
Speaker 1: who knows? I did learn because it's National roller Coaster
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Speaker 1: Day and I have to provide a fun fact for
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Speaker 1: alf and ferg Dog and those guys. Do you know
2:45
Speaker 1: the first roll the first country to have a roller coaster?
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Speaker 4: What do you think it was?
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Speaker 1: Danny? The first country that, according to documentation, to have
2:55
Speaker 1: a roller coaster? What do you they do? Do do?
3:00
Speaker 3: It's a strange question I ever thought about anything. Yeah, exactly,
3:03
Speaker 3: It's an odd question.
3:04
Speaker 4: Yeah.
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Speaker 1: I thought I'm going to thought it was America. I
3:07
Speaker 1: thought America.
3:08
Speaker 4: So my guess was I'm going to say, I'm going
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Speaker 4: to say the UK?
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Speaker 1: The UK? All right? That makes sense a lot of
3:13
Speaker 1: things in the UK, right, Yeah, US built by people
3:16
Speaker 1: that left the UK and wanted less taxes, so now
3:19
Speaker 1: we have all the taxes. No. According to the documented history,
3:24
Speaker 1: the first roller coaster appeared in the fifteen hundreds in Russia. Russia. Russia.
3:33
Speaker 1: Russian roller coasters were made of wood with icy rams
3:38
Speaker 1: on which.
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Speaker 4: People can have fun for three minutes.
3:41
Speaker 1: I get some ghoula, And so that was in the
3:44
Speaker 1: fifteen hundreds, but it was like a couple hundred years
3:47
Speaker 1: later the history. How about, how about you were a
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Speaker 1: historian of the roller coaster? How do you end up
3:52
Speaker 1: in that gig Anyway, In the seventeen hundreds in Russia,
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Speaker 1: the early roller coasters were such a hit that wheels
4:02
Speaker 1: were then added to the carts so people could continue
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Speaker 1: to ride during the summer, because they only had them
4:07
Speaker 1: during the winter, because it was like a winter thing.
4:10
Speaker 1: It was kind of like what we'd call sledding, but
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Speaker 1: they called it a roller coaster, and so they put
4:15
Speaker 1: wheels on them in the seventeen hundreds so people could
4:17
Speaker 1: ride even during the summer months, that one month of
4:20
Speaker 1: the year where the weather's pretty good. But the real
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Speaker 1: golden age of the coaster, the golden age of the
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Speaker 1: coaster was the early nineteen hundreds, and really like the
4:30
Speaker 1: nineteen teens, the Great Depression in America and Coney Island
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Speaker 1: in Brooklyn, there were innovations and all kinds of things.
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Speaker 1: So I mean, there's a bunch of coasters all over
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Speaker 1: the place now, but so there you go Russia, Mother
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Speaker 1: Russia and the fifteen hundreds, and then the Great Depression
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Speaker 1: led to amazing, amazing fun.
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Speaker 3: I think you mentioned in the past that you don't
4:55
Speaker 3: fit on a lot of the roller coasters, But have
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Speaker 3: you ever been to Mountain in Valencia, California.
5:02
Speaker 1: I have not. I have not spent time at matt
5:06
Speaker 1: I've driven by it a bunch. I've not gone because,
5:08
Speaker 1: as you said, I don't fit. I don't even fit
5:11
Speaker 1: on Space Mountain. I can't imagine going on those. You're
5:14
Speaker 1: going north on the five. You go buy Magic Mountain,
5:16
Speaker 1: and these things are insane. It's like there are mountains
5:20
Speaker 1: of roller coaster but I've never never gone because I
5:22
Speaker 1: figured if I can't fit on Space Mountain at Disneyland,
5:25
Speaker 1: I'm not going to un stuff at Magic Mountain.
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Speaker 3: I don't know if it's still open. It might it
5:30
Speaker 3: might be closed unless they renovated it. But it was
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Speaker 3: an old wooden roller coaster. I'm going to have to
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Speaker 3: look that up. But it's a big white wooden structure.
5:40
Speaker 1: Racist it looks.
5:42
Speaker 3: Awesome and you hear people screaming on it. Then you
5:45
Speaker 3: go on it and you realize everyone's screaming because their
5:48
Speaker 3: back is hurting. It's sticky, and yeah, because it's a
5:54
Speaker 3: wood roller coaster. Oh my god, that thing shakes you
5:57
Speaker 3: from side to side. And when you get off, there's
6:00
Speaker 3: a chiropractor's office representative standing outside handing out business cards.
6:05
Speaker 1: And is that where they came up with the billboard?
6:08
Speaker 1: Who hurt You?
6:08
Speaker 4: Is that?
6:09
Speaker 1: Is that right there? Right there? Who hurt you? When
6:12
Speaker 1: you're leaving Magic Mountain? So on this podcast we have
6:17
Speaker 1: give me liberty and give me chicken fingers some golf shit?
6:21
Speaker 4: Are you allowed to say that? Oh?
6:23
Speaker 1: I did? I just it's a podcast, Yes, I get yes,
6:26
Speaker 1: all right, So I'll begin with it. So, my my son, Patrick,
6:30
Speaker 1: who was if you followed along on this podcast, is
6:32
Speaker 1: now officially a United States Marine, graduated from boot camp
6:37
Speaker 1: not that long ago in San Diego. And he walked
6:41
Speaker 1: across the deck there the famous military based Marine training
6:47
Speaker 1: center there in San Diego. Now that was you know,
6:50
Speaker 1: that was big. That was a big deal, right, It
6:52
Speaker 1: was you know, lump in the throats type stuff, and
6:54
Speaker 1: you know, big day in someone's life. And then you know,
6:56
Speaker 1: he graduate from marine boot camp. And so this past weekend,
7:02
Speaker 1: and I had mentioned this to you Danny in passing,
7:04
Speaker 1: But this past weekend it was something a little different.
7:07
Speaker 1: He's currently at Infantry School, and so he's at Camp Pendleton, which,
7:14
Speaker 1: if you're not familiar, is this massive stretch of military land.
7:18
Speaker 1: If you're not from southern California, if you drive between
7:21
Speaker 1: La and San Diego, there's about seemingly twenty miles which
7:26
Speaker 1: is just a military base, and you know, you drive
7:28
Speaker 1: through and you're like, wow, yeah, yeah, you see the
7:31
Speaker 1: shooting ranges and all the practice, yeah buildings, it looks
7:35
Speaker 1: pretty cool. And it's like every time I've driven by there,
7:38
Speaker 1: and I used to work in San Diego, so I
7:40
Speaker 1: drove by there quite a bit and you're like, what
7:43
Speaker 1: are they actually doing there? It turns out they do
7:46
Speaker 1: a lot. They do a lot. Now I've been told
7:49
Speaker 1: I can't get into too many specifics, of course, because
7:52
Speaker 1: I don't want to knock on the door Danny from
7:54
Speaker 1: someone like they'd be worried about what I say on
7:56
Speaker 1: this stupid podcast. I don't want to be accused of
7:59
Speaker 1: harboring you know something. But I can tell you stuff
8:04
Speaker 1: that is readily available. For example, I can tell you
8:08
Speaker 1: that Camp Pendleton is ginormous Danny. In fact, I was
8:13
Speaker 1: driving around it. I'll explain why in a second. But
8:16
Speaker 1: two hundred square miles. It's estimated there are five hundred
8:20
Speaker 1: miles of roads on Camp Pendleton. You could hide, yes,
8:26
Speaker 1: you could hide, no idea. I didn't either. I had
8:29
Speaker 1: no idea. I just saw the stretch between La and
8:31
Speaker 1: San Diego, like through things, so you could you literally
8:34
Speaker 1: almost put Rhode Island in there and have room for Delaware.
8:37
Speaker 1: It's that big.
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Speaker 4: That must be so cool to see that from the
8:41
Speaker 4: from the air.
8:42
Speaker 1: Uh yeah, yeah, So I've I've driven past it. Shot
8:45
Speaker 1: down but they kill you. So I've driven past it
8:49
Speaker 1: hundreds of times literally over the years. We've all done it, Danny,
8:51
Speaker 1: you going to San Diego with the family and whatnot,
8:53
Speaker 1: and we've made that drive. Uh. And so you know
8:56
Speaker 1: back then when I was missing, I never once stopped in.
8:59
Speaker 1: I wasn't invited Dan, he didn't invite me to Camp Pendleton.
9:02
Speaker 1: I never had a reason to go to Camp Pendleton.
9:04
Speaker 1: And so this past weekend, like the kid Patrick, he
9:08
Speaker 1: got on Base Liberty. Now, I had no fn idea.
9:12
Speaker 4: What that meant.
9:13
Speaker 1: I was like, he sent us a text here, I
9:15
Speaker 1: got some Liberty. This weekend, but I can only it's
9:17
Speaker 1: on Base Liberty. I said, what the F is that?
9:20
Speaker 1: So for the uninitiated, like I was that man, I
9:23
Speaker 1: know a lot of you guys have been in the military,
9:24
Speaker 1: have got family and military, but this is all new
9:26
Speaker 1: to me. So it means that he's free to hang out.
9:31
Speaker 1: He's not. He doesn't have any work stuff. He can
9:33
Speaker 1: hang out with visitors, provided he doesn't actually leave the base.
9:37
Speaker 1: He's not allowed to leave the base, which is telling
9:40
Speaker 1: a kid, you can eat as much ice cream as
9:42
Speaker 1: you want, but only in the freezer aisle at the
9:44
Speaker 1: grocery store in Aisle five. You can't go on Aisle six.
9:46
Speaker 1: You can't go on Aisle you know. You can't go
9:48
Speaker 1: on Aisle four. You got to stay on all five.
9:49
Speaker 1: So we drove down into Ocean Side or ocean side
9:53
Speaker 1: adjacent there, and you've you've been there. That's Junior se
9:57
Speaker 1: I was old town right ocean side back in the day,
10:00
Speaker 1: and just a little outpost. It's in between Orange County
10:04
Speaker 1: and San Diego. It's a little a little south of
10:08
Speaker 1: the San Diego Orange County line.
10:11
Speaker 3: It's a bit stop for us because traffic usually it's
10:15
Speaker 3: all clogged up right there. So you pull off in
10:18
Speaker 3: ocean side to have a little lunch and wait it out.
10:20
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, it smells like salt water. There's lots of sunscreen,
10:25
Speaker 1: people in good looking people in bikinis, fish tacos, you know,
10:28
Speaker 1: the whole thing. And I did not know this, but
10:31
Speaker 1: amazing Chicken figures more on that in a minute. So
10:34
Speaker 1: getting onto the base, it felt like I was entering
10:38
Speaker 1: a different country, like a small sovereign country. And it
10:42
Speaker 1: was very clean, very organized. There were housing tracks and
10:46
Speaker 1: things like that, and I was like, wow, this is crazy, man,
10:49
Speaker 1: and I didn't know where the hell was going. The
10:52
Speaker 1: most amazing thing is at the gate, you know, there's
10:54
Speaker 1: this military police guy and he looks at your driver's
10:56
Speaker 1: license and kind of gives you the run around and stuff.
10:59
Speaker 1: And then you're on the base and they don't tell you, hey,
11:01
Speaker 1: you can't go here, you can't go there, you can
11:03
Speaker 1: only stay here. So we were just like free rein.
11:05
Speaker 1: I was like, holy crap. And then they've got an MCX,
11:09
Speaker 1: which is the Marine Corps Exchange thing and Patrick, my kid, says,
11:15
Speaker 1: he says, hey, he said, hey, this is the size
11:17
Speaker 1: of Walmart. And he wasn't wrong, and these things are
11:21
Speaker 1: all over. They had the big one on Camp Pendleton's
11:23
Speaker 1: like literally the size of going into a Costco or
11:25
Speaker 1: a Walmart.
11:27
Speaker 3: And oh, forget Kirkland Brand exactly. Maybe we're gonna start
11:31
Speaker 3: shopping there.
11:32
Speaker 1: Well there's one problem, Danny, there's one problem. So I
11:35
Speaker 1: went in there and I'm like, all right, I'm gonna
11:38
Speaker 1: you know, they had all the military uniforms and all
11:40
Speaker 1: that stuff. This is where the soldiers by their crap,
11:42
Speaker 1: and they they had the regular stuff. They had electronics,
11:45
Speaker 1: they had regular clothing cities as they call them, and
11:48
Speaker 1: all the kinds of house stuff and it was just
11:50
Speaker 1: a regular massive store the MCX and I realized I
11:54
Speaker 1: wanted to get something, but they didn't want to get
11:56
Speaker 1: an air fryer. I already have that. I didn't, you know.
11:58
Speaker 1: They weren't getting too big, and I was like, well,
12:00
Speaker 1: maybe I'll get some clothing. And then I realized that
12:04
Speaker 1: there's really only one thing that I could get, and
12:07
Speaker 1: so I bought a pair of socks because that's the
12:11
Speaker 1: only thing they sold that fit my body type. It
12:17
Speaker 1: turns out, Danny, I don't have a marine body. I'm
12:21
Speaker 1: not military grade. Apparently, I'm not built like Rambo. I'm
12:25
Speaker 1: built like Rambo's you know, gas bag uncle or something
12:29
Speaker 1: like that.
12:29
Speaker 3: Who sits So you can't get on roller coasters and
12:32
Speaker 3: you can't shop at the exchange there.
12:35
Speaker 1: Yeah, in my head, I was. I walked in. My
12:38
Speaker 1: eyes were huge. I was say, Oh, this is gonna
12:39
Speaker 1: be great, dude. I'm gonna get so much cool stuff.
12:41
Speaker 1: You know, it's all tax free because it's on a
12:43
Speaker 1: military base and all this. No, I got socks. They're
12:47
Speaker 1: nice green military socks, and I assume they'll last for
12:50
Speaker 1: a while. So anyway, but they also Danny, they have
12:54
Speaker 1: a raising canes on bass.
12:56
Speaker 4: Now.
12:56
Speaker 1: I mentioned this because Patrick suggests. He said, hey, you
12:59
Speaker 1: know we were there. He had liberty, so he come down.
13:02
Speaker 1: We'll have lunch. He didn't say where we're gonna have lunch,
13:04
Speaker 1: and then he said he suggested that we eat there,
13:07
Speaker 1: and I did not protest. Now, we both share a
13:10
Speaker 1: neutral love of raising canes, and I had taken him
13:14
Speaker 1: there pretty much every week for chunks of his child
13:16
Speaker 1: like we would. I would drag his ass to canes
13:21
Speaker 1: and so you know, he's all grown up now, so
13:22
Speaker 1: I forget happy meals.
13:24
Speaker 4: You're getting them box meals.
13:25
Speaker 1: Oh No, I was getting the the caneiat combo. Baby,
13:28
Speaker 1: that's what Now he's getting the caniat combo. Back then
13:30
Speaker 1: it was the box meal. Now some people try to
13:33
Speaker 1: trash on canes. Those people are called the dicks. But this, it's,
13:36
Speaker 1: you know, shaking finger equivalent of essentially waving the white
13:40
Speaker 1: flag that you're not dieting when you eat the caniat combo.
13:43
Speaker 1: And it's just amazing. It's a symphony of Texas toast
13:48
Speaker 1: the crinkle cut fry. They've got the sauce. I mean,
13:53
Speaker 1: you might as well just include a nap in that.
13:55
Speaker 1: I'm not really a napper, but anyway, it was great.
13:57
Speaker 1: We had that and we said around and we talked
14:00
Speaker 1: for a while, my wife, Patrick and me, and he
14:04
Speaker 1: regaled us with stories about, you know, his time in
14:08
Speaker 1: marine life, and you know, some were funny. Some I'm
14:12
Speaker 1: not gonna lie, Danny made made made me think about
14:15
Speaker 1: what road have you chosen here? But you know, he's, uh,
14:20
Speaker 1: it's his life and you've got to live your own life.
14:22
Speaker 1: And you know, I'm happy that that's what he wanted
14:25
Speaker 1: to do. And it's a it's great, but it doesn't
14:27
Speaker 1: amaze me how much better the food is also on
14:29
Speaker 1: the military base. I grew up near two defunct military
14:33
Speaker 1: bases in Orange County, in El Toro and Tustin Marine Base,
14:38
Speaker 1: and I had some buddies I went to school with
14:40
Speaker 1: that were military brat kids, and every now and again
14:44
Speaker 1: they would say, hey, hey, Benny, why do you know
14:47
Speaker 1: they call me Benji? Actually, Benny, they call me Benji.
14:50
Speaker 1: Why don't you come to the to the base. And
14:53
Speaker 1: it was always the selling point Danny was, well, get
14:55
Speaker 1: some candy because it's tax free, so it's cheaper.
14:59
Speaker 4: Right.
15:00
Speaker 1: I was a big bit fat kid wants candy, so
15:02
Speaker 1: we go to the base. I remember the El Tooral
15:05
Speaker 1: Base and they had the general store. It was like,
15:07
Speaker 1: let's go to the general store. Bear bones, right. They
15:12
Speaker 1: did have a McDonald's on the base, but nothing like
15:14
Speaker 1: Camp Pendleton with a store the size of Costco and
15:19
Speaker 1: raising canes, and they had I think there was a
15:23
Speaker 1: Panda Express I remember correctly. Just crazy. This is a
15:28
Speaker 1: new world order, Danny, Yeah, that's the way to do it.
15:31
Speaker 3: Man, most definitely. I mean we had ship places down
15:35
Speaker 3: the street from where I lived as a little kid.
15:38
Speaker 3: I can't imagine having a food court in your neighborhood.
15:41
Speaker 3: On your block.
15:42
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, it's wild, wild, wild, little crazy. So Benny
15:46
Speaker 1: the Baker also made an appearance. That's one of the
15:47
Speaker 1: nicknames my wife gave me. Realizing. And we didn't know
15:51
Speaker 1: until Friday. We went on last last Saturday, but we
15:56
Speaker 1: did not know until Friday night that we would be
15:58
Speaker 1: allowed to visit it. So we ran out to the
16:01
Speaker 1: store and got you know, we got some brownie stuff
16:04
Speaker 1: and I made emergency brownies for for Patrick. Uh And
16:09
Speaker 1: let me tell you something, Danny, All right, let me
16:10
Speaker 1: tell you I learned something. The Marines. You know, they
16:12
Speaker 1: might be big, tough guys, you know, and they eat
16:14
Speaker 1: m r s and all that stuff in the field,
16:16
Speaker 1: but you put a plate of warm brownies and uh,
16:20
Speaker 1: they are like piranha and smelling blood in the water.
16:24
Speaker 1: They they mean, they just go for it and uh man.
16:28
Speaker 1: Uh So anyway, that was that was it, and it
16:32
Speaker 1: was a good day, a little window into his world
16:35
Speaker 1: and all that. Laugh. I was really pleased.
16:37
Speaker 4: I was.
16:37
Speaker 1: I was concerned where we were gonna eat. I was like,
16:40
Speaker 1: that's gonna be a crappy meal. Uh, And we ate
16:42
Speaker 1: the chicken fingers and it was. It was cool.
16:45
Speaker 3: It was a few hours that did I mean your
16:47
Speaker 3: feet of them brownies. Did you at least get to
16:49
Speaker 3: shoot off a few rounds? Yes, I would have been bartering.
16:52
Speaker 3: I toss a few hand grenades.
16:54
Speaker 1: Uh No. Also, I'm not a looted of but some
16:57
Speaker 1: of the let's just say, Danny. They have several airports
17:01
Speaker 1: on Camp Pendleton, several. We drove an hour in Camp
17:06
Speaker 1: Pendleton to get to the Canes from where his uh
17:10
Speaker 1: where he's living, you know, on dorms. I don't what
17:12
Speaker 1: they call him. We drove an hour and we drove
17:15
Speaker 1: by severals and barracks. There we was there were some helicopters, Nanny,
17:21
Speaker 1: that I believe are worth I can't imagine, I mean,
17:26
Speaker 1: the amount of weaponry that are on those helicopters. And
17:29
Speaker 1: then just parked out there. I mean it was just
17:32
Speaker 1: in I was in awe.
17:33
Speaker 4: I love stuff like that.
17:35
Speaker 3: Been to a couple of air museums, and man, I
17:38
Speaker 3: could walk around and look at missiles and planes and
17:41
Speaker 3: jets and helicopters for hours.
17:44
Speaker 1: Oh I'm right there too. I mean, you just feel
17:46
Speaker 1: more masculine, right, you feel like you're you're you're you're
17:49
Speaker 1: the man's man, and it's just it's crazy and it's
17:52
Speaker 1: I was like, I can't take a photo. I was,
17:54
Speaker 1: I wanted to take a was I can't. I get
17:56
Speaker 1: in trouble, you know, I don't want to get in trouble.
17:58
Speaker 1: It was wild man. They were the layer, tons of
18:00
Speaker 1: them all lined up. There was another airport where they
18:03
Speaker 1: had like the big giant cargo plane things and stuff.
18:07
Speaker 1: So it was really a cool experience. And hopefully we'll
18:11
Speaker 1: I don't know when we'll see him again, and he's
18:13
Speaker 1: he's going to be there for a while at Camp Pendleton, Patrick,
18:16
Speaker 1: and then at some point he will be finish infantry school,
18:20
Speaker 1: he'll be assigned to a permanent base that's not his
18:23
Speaker 1: permanent base, somewhere in the world, and then we'll, I
18:28
Speaker 1: guess we'll be traveling to Japan or Italy or wherever
18:31
Speaker 1: the hell he ends up.
18:32
Speaker 4: I don't know.
18:32
Speaker 3: So maybe it's going to be exciting to see where
18:35
Speaker 3: they put him.
18:36
Speaker 1: Maybe he'll just stay there that'll be easy, but probably not.
18:40
Speaker 1: And then one thing about Patrick, though he loves chicken fingers,
18:43
Speaker 1: but he's not into golf shit, not yet. But when
18:45
Speaker 1: he gets older, maybe he'll be into golf shop.
18:47
Speaker 3: Well possibly, he'll probably get to retire at a decent age, right.
18:52
Speaker 1: I would think I don't want old guys in the Marines. Right,
18:55
Speaker 1: you got to get out by a certain age.
18:56
Speaker 3: Yeah, he'll be a high ranking officer and he'll have
18:59
Speaker 3: plenty of time to go golf. Now, u's being lifelong broadcasters.
19:05
Speaker 3: I don't know about you, but I've only picked up
19:07
Speaker 3: golf clubs a couple of times.
19:09
Speaker 1: My experience with golf is limited. I've played it a
19:13
Speaker 1: few times. I used to have some clubs. I never
19:15
Speaker 1: played it. I've gone for social events over the years.
19:19
Speaker 1: There's been a few radio gigs where they said, hey,
19:21
Speaker 1: let's go out and have golf with the sponsors. And
19:25
Speaker 1: we did one with Fox Sports Radio a couple of
19:28
Speaker 1: years back before the pandemic. I remember that it was
19:30
Speaker 1: the last time I played golf. That's like six years ago.
19:34
Speaker 4: Did you embarrass yourself or did you play? Okay?
19:36
Speaker 1: I absolutely embarrassed myself. Yeah, they there were some of
19:39
Speaker 1: those old NFL players. There's some guy I forget his name.
19:42
Speaker 1: He works at the NFL network. Every time I run
19:46
Speaker 1: into him, he says he tells everyone at the NFL
19:49
Speaker 1: network how bad a golfer I am? Like I hit
19:53
Speaker 1: a chair like I'm let's screw you, Bucky Brooks. Yeah,
19:56
Speaker 1: there you go. You know you know who it was,
19:58
Speaker 1: Bucky book And Yeah. So I wish I was more
20:02
Speaker 1: into golf because I feel like I would have been
20:06
Speaker 1: more successful in radio. Not that I haven't been successful,
20:09
Speaker 1: but I feel like if you're good at golf, that's
20:11
Speaker 1: where you go out there and you schmooze and a
20:13
Speaker 1: lot of us get done. And I've never been that
20:16
Speaker 1: guy to get deals done, which bothers me. It bothers.
20:19
Speaker 3: Yeah, same, and so it's ironically really the only time
20:23
Speaker 3: I went on a golf outing was with the general
20:26
Speaker 3: manager of Q one oh four seven. It was probably
20:29
Speaker 3: like the year two thousand, programming their hip hop station.
20:33
Speaker 3: At the time, the station was a huge success and
20:37
Speaker 3: I had a little bit of free time. They were
20:38
Speaker 3: paying me good money, and he also told me, hey,
20:41
Speaker 3: I want to give you some freebies. I want to
20:43
Speaker 3: show you the life. He told me, I want to
20:45
Speaker 3: show you what I do a couple of times a week.
20:47
Speaker 3: So he takes me to Sherwood Country Club, which is
20:51
Speaker 3: famously where Tiger Woods held his tournament every year. Hey
20:56
Speaker 3: it's Tiger okay, So I'm out there and it's really
21:01
Speaker 3: the first time I'm on a real golf course.
21:04
Speaker 4: I played so good. He was so.
21:07
Speaker 3: Surprised, you're bullshitting me. You've played before, And I'm like, no,
21:11
Speaker 3: I swear it was totally beginner's luck. Because the second
21:15
Speaker 3: time he took me out, which was a few months later,
21:18
Speaker 3: I completely sucked. It was like I suddenly had never
21:22
Speaker 3: picked up a golf club before. And what it was
21:25
Speaker 3: is I got in my head. It's such a mental
21:27
Speaker 3: sport that when you're not overthinking it, you can hit
21:31
Speaker 3: the ball straight. When you're overthinking it, you slice the
21:34
Speaker 3: shit out of the ball.
21:36
Speaker 1: Yeah. And the the other thing about golf that I've
21:38
Speaker 1: noticed is you're never good at everything. Like the person
21:42
Speaker 1: that hits just amazing drives and just kills it with
21:46
Speaker 1: the driver can't putt. Or the person that's good at
21:49
Speaker 1: putting is fucking horrible. I just cursed horrible Danny at driving.
21:55
Speaker 1: You know you can't. If you've got both. You're playing
21:58
Speaker 1: on the PGA Tour, you're either good at one or
22:00
Speaker 1: the other. Yeah.
22:01
Speaker 3: If John Daily could put like Tiger Woods, he would
22:04
Speaker 3: have been the best golfer who ever lived.
22:06
Speaker 1: Yes, if you an't had balls, you know, the whole thing. Yes, exactly.
22:09
Speaker 3: My cousin in the Bay Area, in the San Francisco
22:12
Speaker 3: Bay Area.
22:13
Speaker 4: He's more like a brother to me.
22:15
Speaker 3: We grew up, you know, with our families being really close,
22:18
Speaker 3: and we've gone on hiking trips together as adults, and
22:22
Speaker 3: you know, our lives are still intertwined. And I've done
22:25
Speaker 3: like adult softball back in the day when I was
22:28
Speaker 3: doing a radio station up there. He and I would
22:30
Speaker 3: meet up once a week and play on a softball team.
22:33
Speaker 3: And so, you know, we've done some adult sports together
22:36
Speaker 3: even though we were young adults at the time. He
22:39
Speaker 3: recently has taken up golf. He's even put a golf
22:42
Speaker 3: simulator in his backyard. So he's starting to get serious
22:46
Speaker 3: about it. And he's like, man, this is gonna be fun.
22:48
Speaker 3: I want to go on a couple of trips where
22:50
Speaker 3: I travel and bring my clubs. And I think he
22:52
Speaker 3: went to play it again sports and he bought used
22:55
Speaker 3: golf clubs, which as a smart move. You can get
22:58
Speaker 3: golf clubs for decent price if you you know, grab
23:02
Speaker 3: some from somebody who threw in the towel. You know,
23:05
Speaker 3: I was thinking about, man, maybe I should take it
23:07
Speaker 3: up too, so when I visit him in the Bay Area,
23:10
Speaker 3: we could play some golf.
23:12
Speaker 4: It's funny.
23:12
Speaker 3: As I was thinking about this, I ran into this story. Here,
23:15
Speaker 3: it says Norway's most bizarre golf mystery continues since the
23:21
Speaker 3: year two thousand and five, Staveinger Golf Club in western
23:25
Speaker 3: Norway has been dealing with a very unusual vandal.
23:30
Speaker 4: This is great. Someone keeps shitting in the golf holes?
23:35
Speaker 1: Is it?
23:35
Speaker 4: Unner?
23:38
Speaker 3: Rounds keepers they use the word defecating. By the way,
23:40
Speaker 3: I'm gonna change it. Round Keepers say the culprit, believed
23:44
Speaker 3: to be a man on a bicycle, strikes only on
23:47
Speaker 3: weekday mornings and often hits the same holes. He's even
23:51
Speaker 3: dodged security, once climbing a tree to disable floodlights. Twenty
23:56
Speaker 3: years later, now the mystery pooper is still on the loose,
24:00
Speaker 3: leaving people wondering if it's a grudge against golf, a
24:03
Speaker 3: strange habit, or something even weirder.
24:08
Speaker 1: Wait a minute, you're telling me, I don't something doesn't
24:10
Speaker 1: add up on this.
24:11
Speaker 4: Danny.
24:11
Speaker 1: With all the technology with cameras, they can't find who's
24:15
Speaker 1: doing this.
24:15
Speaker 4: Come on, they say, he's elusive.
24:19
Speaker 1: Oh come on, what is it Bigfoot? The Bigfoot of shit?
24:22
Speaker 1: Come on about that? That seems a little od Those
24:27
Speaker 1: stories though, are good, Like remember there was the every
24:29
Speaker 1: couple of years there's a guy that goes and poops
24:31
Speaker 1: on someone's door, you know, or the mad pooper.
24:35
Speaker 4: Yeah, I remember you talking about that.
24:37
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's come up on the podcast over the years
24:40
Speaker 1: a few times where somebody, like one time there was
24:43
Speaker 1: a principle and I think it was in like New Jersey,
24:46
Speaker 1: if I remember correctly, there was a principle that was
24:49
Speaker 1: caught pooping on the track at the like the high
24:53
Speaker 1: school track or something like that. Is that like some
24:56
Speaker 1: kind of fetish where you like outdoor pooping. You're into
24:59
Speaker 1: the outdoor poop. That's your thing, that's your your go to.
25:02
Speaker 3: I it's it's gotta be because like urinating outside, it's
25:08
Speaker 3: one of the most freeing feelings there is.
25:11
Speaker 1: Well, it's it is great or and I only do
25:13
Speaker 1: it on the road. I only do it on the road.
25:15
Speaker 1: But then every once in a while it goes bad.
25:17
Speaker 1: I remember I had a buddy of mine that worked
25:19
Speaker 1: at he was at ESPN, but he was he was
25:22
Speaker 1: a TV he was an anchor and he was covering
25:25
Speaker 1: the World Series. A good guy. I think he's an
25:26
Speaker 1: anchor in Cincinnati and I lost contact with him, but
25:30
Speaker 1: you can google it. He was covering the World Series.
25:33
Speaker 1: I think it was the World Series, might have been
25:34
Speaker 1: the playoffs in Cleveland back in the nineties and he
25:37
Speaker 1: was at a bar and I guess the bathroom was full,
25:40
Speaker 1: so he decided that he would just take a piss
25:44
Speaker 1: like out the window, and he got caught and got
25:49
Speaker 1: like arrested. It was either got the window out in front,
25:52
Speaker 1: but it was like, you know, it was in public,
25:53
Speaker 1: and he got It was very embarrassing, but it wasn't
25:56
Speaker 1: as embarrassing as it would be today because there was
25:59
Speaker 1: no social media but then, but it was like, you know,
26:01
Speaker 1: come on, like what are you doing.
26:04
Speaker 3: I loved this story because that, like I said, that
26:06
Speaker 3: first time I played, I thought I was Tiger Woods Please.
26:10
Speaker 3: The second time I played, I basically was shitting in
26:13
Speaker 3: the golf holes.
26:14
Speaker 1: Yeah, there you go, but I'm bumped. And do you
26:18
Speaker 1: have golf clubs? Then you have you purchased golf clubs.
26:21
Speaker 3: I did not, because I was borrowing his extra clubs.
26:25
Speaker 3: Those two times I tried it, and I didn't keep
26:28
Speaker 3: with it. I think I might look for some used clubs.
26:31
Speaker 3: I don't know if I have a sort of free
26:33
Speaker 3: time you need, but I guess just once every couple
26:36
Speaker 3: of weeks you could at least just go to a
26:38
Speaker 3: public driving range.
26:40
Speaker 1: Yeah. If I had a good driver, and if somebody
26:43
Speaker 1: knows how to get a really cheap, good set of clubs,
26:46
Speaker 1: I'd be in on that. But the problem is I'm tall,
26:50
Speaker 1: I think so I need like a special set of
26:53
Speaker 1: a special set of clubs, which is an issue. So
26:56
Speaker 1: if you have any acts. I went to the PGA
26:58
Speaker 1: tour store. We went to Top Golf and got into that.
27:02
Speaker 1: I was like, fun. We went to Top Golf a
27:04
Speaker 1: couple of times and we're like, all right, I'll buy
27:06
Speaker 1: some clubs. And I've told this story on the podcast,
27:08
Speaker 1: but we'll buy some clubs and then we'll go to
27:10
Speaker 1: the driving range. There's a couple of golf courses around here,
27:13
Speaker 1: and we went and saw how much the clubs weren't.
27:16
Speaker 1: I was like, oh, I'm not doing that. I mean, please,
27:18
Speaker 1: it's insane buying them new. Sod I wouldn't buy them new,
27:23
Speaker 1: but fun, I get you. We' getting older, Danny. I
27:25
Speaker 1: guess we got to get in golf. Isn't that what
27:27
Speaker 1: old you know?
27:27
Speaker 3: It's the circle of life. It's either pickleball or golf.
27:30
Speaker 3: And I'm not playing pickleball, absolutely not.
27:33
Speaker 1: And if you see me playing pickleball, punch me right
27:36
Speaker 1: in the nose. Loser, boom right there. All right, we'll
27:41
Speaker 1: get out on that of the mail bag on Sunday,
27:45
Speaker 1: Sunday Sunday, so we have that to look forward to.
27:50
Speaker 1: Anything going on today, Nanny, I'll be schmoozing today, hanging
27:53
Speaker 1: out with the wife. Maybe a little road trip somewhere,
27:56
Speaker 1: I don't know, we'll see where we end up. Yeah.
27:58
Speaker 3: Actually, this morning, the family we're going to file in
28:01
Speaker 3: the station wagon. Yeah, might as well have a station
28:04
Speaker 3: wagon with how many damn kids there are right now
28:06
Speaker 3: because they're not back in school yet they will be soon.
28:10
Speaker 3: But with our mutual Disneyland hookup, we get to go
28:14
Speaker 3: to the park today.
28:15
Speaker 1: Oh good good. He was able to reach out to you,
28:19
Speaker 1: our buddy, Kay. You know who you are, hey, Maggie K,
28:24
Speaker 1: the man that makes dreams come true?
28:27
Speaker 4: Right yeah, circle K.
28:29
Speaker 3: And it is the circle of life because we're going
28:32
Speaker 3: to take these kids to the park and then immediately
28:36
Speaker 3: kick their asses out of the house and send them
28:38
Speaker 3: back to the schools they belong to.
28:40
Speaker 1: What a great way to end the summer, right, yeah, yeah,
28:43
Speaker 1: go there. And you know how much are you planning
28:46
Speaker 1: on spending at Disney today, Danny? What are we looking at?
28:49
Speaker 4: We're gonna pack peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.
28:52
Speaker 1: Good, get a locker, that's what you gotta do.
28:54
Speaker 4: Get it up.
28:55
Speaker 1: And the wife though, she always loves those corn dogs.
28:58
Speaker 1: She's like, we got to get the corn dog at Disney.
29:00
Speaker 1: It's it's the greatest court.
29:02
Speaker 4: Yes, I'm with her. We usually do one corn dog
29:05
Speaker 4: and one dollwib.
29:07
Speaker 1: The doll web site. Yeah, and they're right near each
29:09
Speaker 1: other too. There's a corn dog on main Street. There's
29:12
Speaker 1: a cart.
29:12
Speaker 4: Yeah, I know exactly what the one you're talking about.
29:15
Speaker 1: The right and then you go across Main Street as
29:17
Speaker 1: you're going on your way to the Jungle Cruise. Right
29:21
Speaker 1: before there, there's a little that's where the Dolwib thing is.
29:25
Speaker 1: I think so, yes, sir, all right, I'm glad. Well anyway,
29:28
Speaker 1: have a wonderful time. That's awesome. Mister k is the man,
29:33
Speaker 1: And there's been Ben he's been listening to the show
29:35
Speaker 1: for a long time. He's he was at the Bakersfield Shindig.
29:40
Speaker 4: That's right.
29:40
Speaker 3: I remember meeting him there, and dude, me and my
29:44
Speaker 3: better half, we are so appreciative because there is no
29:47
Speaker 3: way in hell we could have been able to bring
29:48
Speaker 3: the kids. You know, living in southern California, there's no
29:52
Speaker 3: way we could have brought them this summer otherwise.
29:55
Speaker 4: Oh no.
29:55
Speaker 1: I one of the reasons he reached out he's, you know,
29:59
Speaker 1: a lot of people and they don't interact that much,
30:01
Speaker 1: but he had interacted before and then we kind of
30:03
Speaker 1: lost track. And then he reached out to me because
30:05
Speaker 1: I was complaining on the radio about I said, I
30:08
Speaker 1: live close to Disneyland, I never go because it's so
30:11
Speaker 1: freaking expensive and all that. And he's, you know, Kay
30:14
Speaker 1: knows some people. He's a mad man. He's a made man,
30:16
Speaker 1: so he can make your dreams come true. Anyway, all right,
30:18
Speaker 1: I have a wonderful Saturday again. We'll have the mail
30:21
Speaker 1: bag on Sunday and see you then.
30:25
Speaker 4: Yea. I see for the mail bag later, Skater my
30:30
Speaker 4: flation