Latest / Funny Comedy | Laugh Out Loud / S2 Ep17: Laugh Lines & Family Ties 🤣.

Transcript

S2 Ep17: Laugh Lines & Family Ties 🤣. · Funny Comedy | Laugh Out Loud

• 0:03
  SPEAKER_06: You too! Are you alright?
• 0:06
  SPEAKER_06: No! What's wrong?
• 0:08
  SPEAKER_06: I'm pissed.
• 0:09
  SPEAKER_06: Why?
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_06: I have no idea.
• 0:13
  SPEAKER_06: Well, have you ever thought about being happy?
• 0:15
  SPEAKER_06: Yeah, what happened?
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_06: Pissed me off.
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_06: What would happen if you were happy?
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_06: Your show would suck.
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_06: You know, Walter just once.
• 0:27
  SPEAKER_06: I think you should try being happy.
• 0:29
  SPEAKER_06: You're an idiot.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_06: What the hell is wrong with you?
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_06: What I call you an idiot and you smile like I gave you cake.
• 0:37
  SPEAKER_06: Do you want to be in a good mood?
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_06: Not if I look like a moron like you, no, thank you.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_06: I've seen you walk like perfect strangers and go, oh hello, how are you?
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_06: So that makes mothers hide their children from you.
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_06: You don't think I should be nice to strangers.
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_06: You know, even dog sniff assholes first.
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_06: Maybe you should try that.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_06: I don't think so.
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_06: Actually, there are those little idiot dogs who when they see anyone they jump all around and then pee on themselves.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_06: You ever felt like doing that?
• 1:25
  SPEAKER_06: That's not gonna happen.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_06: Well, you might not jump all around, but when you get my age, you'll piss on yourself.
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_06: Well, I'm just happy to be here tonight.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_06: Where the hell are we?
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_06: Richmond, Virginia.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_06: Oh, yeah.
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_06: Just uh one question, why are we?
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_06: That's a great part of the country.
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_06: Not in the winter, holy crap.
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_06: I don't know.
• 2:07
  SPEAKER_06: I hate being cold.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_06: I even got cold in Vegas last week.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_06: Oh, Vegas, yeah, you took your wife there.
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_06: Oh yeah.
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_06: You know, Vegas has become a great vacation spot for families.
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_06: Oh yeah, sure.
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_06: That makes sense.
• 2:19
  SPEAKER_06: Take the family to Vegas.
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_06: Yeah.
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_06: Look, Mommy, there's a place with poles like where you used to work.
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_06: So all have you been doing anything fun since we got here?
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_06: Uh yeah, what did I do today?
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_06: I did something fun.
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_06: What?
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_06: I signed up Occalina to be an organ donor.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_06: Oh, that's funny as hell right here.
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_06: I'm getting sick of that guy.
• 2:55
  SPEAKER_06: I think all this thing is going to his head.
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_06: Why?
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_06: He's been doing all the typical Hollywood stuff.
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_06: Like what?
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_06: He's been dating a goat half his age.
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_06: Oh yeah, an actual goat.
• 3:08
  SPEAKER_06: Even got a fake teeth.
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_06: Oh yeah, all six of them.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_06: A goat only has two.
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_06: How sick is it that you actually know that?
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_06: What are you so lonely now?
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_06: You're checking out barnyard animals?
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_06: You know they're called petting zoos, not heavy petting zoos.
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_06: Come on, what's your name?
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_05: Margaret.
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_06: Can we change the subject?
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_06: A while later, they came back from putting gas in the car.
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_06: My wife walks in the front door, hands me a video camera, and says, You gotta see this.
• 4:14
  SPEAKER_06: And I'm like, what?
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_06: She goes, No, trust me, you're gonna have new material for your show.
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_06: So I reruned, hit play, and sure enough, there's my daughter standing next to her car.
• 4:25
  SPEAKER_06: She has a door open on the gas tank, and she's standing there doing this.
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_03: Mom, it won't open.
• 4:43
  SPEAKER_06: Now, the first indication that my wife can be a very cruel woman when she wants to be is what she did to help the child.
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_06: Nothing.
• 5:03
  SPEAKER_04: She just stood there videotaping.
• 5:09
  SPEAKER_06: Then you hear my wife say, honey, remember, righty tidy, lefty loosey.
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_06: And the sixteen-year-old girl goes, whatever.
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_06: Camera starts shaking.
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_06: Then you hear my wife say, honey, turn it counterclockwise.
• 5:36
  SPEAKER_06: My daughter looked at her watch.
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_06: And I'm the father standing there watching the tape going, oh no, no, no.
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_06: Because I realized she was looking at her watch two or three seconds too long before she realized she was gazing at a digital watch.
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_06: To answer your question, yes, she's blonde.
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_06: But that's a good thing, because if she wasn't, that would mean she was just dumb.
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_06: Okay.
• 6:21
  SPEAKER_06: So she finally figures out, okay, turn it to the left, pulls the cap off, and of course we have those, you know, four, five, six-inch plastic leashes on a gas cap.
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_06: I look at those and I go, who the hell are these four?
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_06: Obviously, at some point along the way, the car manufacturers had a meeting and they went, okay, there's too many idiots that don't know what to do with the gas caps.
• 6:40
  SPEAKER_06: We gotta put the frickin' leash on them.
• 6:43
  SPEAKER_06: Were there people at gas stations going, oh no, no?
• 7:01
  SPEAKER_06: And then to add insult to injury, they put that little rack thing inside the door.
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_06: And these same people are supposed to know, oh, you take the gas cap and hang it there.
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_06: That's very organized.
• 7:10
  SPEAKER_06: Thank you, right?
• 7:11
  SPEAKER_06: No, those people are going, uh.
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_06: Okay, so now she turns around, she gets the nozzle out of the gas pump.
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_06: All right, now we all know that in the car there's a hole.
• 7:31
  SPEAKER_06: And you have the nozzle.
• 7:33
  SPEAKER_06: But there's also the sleeve that goes over the nozzle, has a little spring on it.
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_06: That, of course, goes over the hole to keep the fumes from coming when you're filling up.
• 7:42
  SPEAKER_06: You know, you would think that it's somewhere along the line in the last, I don't know, maybe maybe six months, she would have said to herself, Oh, I'm gonna be driving soon.
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_06: Maybe I should watch mom and dad and take notes to see how to fill up a car.
• 8:00
  SPEAKER_06: No, you know why?
• 8:01
  SPEAKER_06: Because for the last five years you've been sitting in the back seat going.
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_02: My parents are so stupid.
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_02: LOL.
• 8:21
  SPEAKER_02: Hey, here's the picture of my foot.
• 8:28
  SPEAKER_06: She tried to cram the entire thing with a sleeve into the hole.
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_06: This cramming it, crushing and pushing it, and then she can't say, Mom, it won't fit, it's the wrong money.
• 8:38
  SPEAKER_06: Camera's shaking.
• 8:44
  SPEAKER_06: Then she finally figures out, okay, it's gotta hang right there.
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_06: Okay, now.
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_06: She didn't turn on the pump, she didn't swipe a credit card, she didn't go talk to the guy.
• 8:53
  SPEAKER_06: She just stood there, apparently waiting for the magic gas to flow.
• 9:22
  SPEAKER_06: Reaches over, squeezes the thing.
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_06: Camera's shaking.
• 9:35
  SPEAKER_06: Mom, it won't stay on.
• 9:40
  SPEAKER_06: Here's a second indication my wife can be cruel when she wants to be.
• 9:45
  SPEAKER_06: She didn't tell the child what to do.
• 9:47
  SPEAKER_06: She walked over to the car.
• 9:48
  SPEAKER_06: You see the camera getting closer.
• 9:50
  SPEAKER_06: You see her hand reach into the frame.
• 9:53
  SPEAKER_06: What she did took about a half second.
• 9:56
  SPEAKER_06: This is cruelty to children.
• 9:59
  SPEAKER_06: She reaches in, squeezes a thing, with her pinky, flips it shut like this to keep it squeezed.
• 10:05
  SPEAKER_06: Hand out of the frame.
• 10:07
  SPEAKER_06: My daughter goes, Mom, how'd you do that?
• 10:13
  SPEAKER_06: Ninth grade came along, I decided to do the same thing.
• 10:15
  SPEAKER_06: This was the bicentennial year in our country, 1976.
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_06: I was a patriotic lad, but I didn't want to dress like Uncle Sam.
• 10:22
  SPEAKER_06: No, apparently, I wanted to dress like a 4th of July picnic table cover.
• 10:38
  SPEAKER_06: You know, the funniest thing to me about that photo is the fact that I embrace it.
• 10:42
  SPEAKER_06: Why is that funny?
• 10:43
  SPEAKER_06: Well, the rest of my life I'm gonna be talking with my mouth shut, so what's the point?
• 10:50
  SPEAKER_06: I know most of you looking at these photos and thinking this is the fattest human being we've ever met.
• 10:55
  SPEAKER_06: Did you have any friends?
• 10:56
  SPEAKER_06: Yes, I did.
• 10:57
  SPEAKER_06: Here we are sitting in my bedroom one day.
• 11:02
  SPEAKER_06: So now I had about 15 minutes in my show.
• 11:04
  SPEAKER_06: I knew I wanted to add something else, some variety.
• 11:06
  SPEAKER_06: I thought, music?
• 11:07
  SPEAKER_06: Yes, something cool.
• 11:08
  SPEAKER_06: Rock and roll guitar?
• 11:09
  SPEAKER_06: No, something cooler.
• 11:11
  SPEAKER_06: I'll play the trombone.
• 11:16
  SPEAKER_06: I'm gonna let I'm gonna let this photo soak in just for a minute.
• 11:31
  SPEAKER_06: There is so much wrong here, ladies and gentlemen.
• 11:34
  SPEAKER_06: Let's start with the least obvious, and that's my dummy up in the corner, listening to we play the trombone.
• 11:39
  SPEAKER_06: But now, let's talk about fashion jelly.
• 11:46
  SPEAKER_06: How did my mother even let me out of the house?
• 11:50
  SPEAKER_06: And this wasn't some accident on a Saturday morning where I accidentally threw on the wrong clothes.
• 11:54
  SPEAKER_06: This was an outfit I wore to school regularly.
• 11:58
  SPEAKER_06: I don't know why I didn't get beat up on a regular basis.
• 12:02
  SPEAKER_06: I must have gone to the store and said, Do you have any pants that don't even go with themselves?
• 12:11
  SPEAKER_06: This next photo, you know, my parents were supportive, but every once in a while in a child's life, the parents must step in and say, enough is enough.
• 12:22
  SPEAKER_06: Apparently, my parents did not do this, as is evidenced by this next photo.
• 12:26
  SPEAKER_06: And by the way, there is none of these photos have been photoshopped.
• 12:30
  SPEAKER_06: Everything is legit.
• 12:32
  SPEAKER_06: Everything's real.
• 12:35
  SPEAKER_06: I promise you.
• 12:36
  SPEAKER_06: So that's how sad it is.
• 12:38
  SPEAKER_06: But this next photograph, I don't remember how it happened.
• 12:41
  SPEAKER_06: All I know is that we went to the professional portrait studio, and this was the family portrait that hung in our living room this big for years.
• 13:20
  SPEAKER_06: And this was hanging right there in plain view, and no one ever said anything.
• 13:25
  SPEAKER_06: They must have thought, well, the food's good, let's go to the mentally ill people's house.
• 13:31
  SPEAKER_06: Alright, so that's that's high school.
• 13:34
  SPEAKER_06: High school.
• 13:35
  SPEAKER_06: And time to pick up chicks.
• 13:53
  SPEAKER_06: Disco is king.
• 13:54
  SPEAKER_06: I had my silk shirt, my dummy, and my porn mustache.
• 14:01
  SPEAKER_06: Now, this this next photo I found in a box just recently, you know, and some photos just go without explanation.
• 14:09
  SPEAKER_06: I don't remember what this was.
• 14:11
  SPEAKER_06: I don't remember what was going on.
• 14:14
  SPEAKER_06: I don't know.
• 14:16
  SPEAKER_06: I don't know.
• 14:33
  SPEAKER_06: Let's examine this, shall we?
• 14:36
  SPEAKER_06: I'm standing in my parents' front yard.
• 14:39
  SPEAKER_06: On the hood of this vehicle is the largest stuffed animal known to man.
• 14:43
  SPEAKER_06: I don't know how it got it home, I don't know why it was there, I don't know what the hell it is.
• 14:49
  SPEAKER_06: Also on the hood of the vehicle is R2D2.
• 15:00
  SPEAKER_06: My dummy is dressed up like a bad Luke Skywalker knockoff.
• 15:05
  SPEAKER_06: And I'm wearing a freaking Hawaiian shirt.
• 15:10
  SPEAKER_06: It's like Tom Selig jumped out of the closet and went, guess what?
• 15:21
  SPEAKER_06: Christmas is a very special time, obviously, and uh special time in my house.
• 15:26
  SPEAKER_06: I have three daughters and a wife, and uh, you know, Christmas presents are always a difficult thing.
• 15:30
  SPEAKER_06: One of my daughters has a birthday near Christmas, and she turned 16 this year, and we decided to get her a car.
• 15:38
  SPEAKER_06: Now, oh yeah, I went.
• 15:40
  SPEAKER_06: But we bought her a used vehicle.
• 15:42
  SPEAKER_06: Anybody that buys a 16-year-old kid a new car, I think you're pretty much a moron, okay?
• 15:47
  SPEAKER_06: Because you're not buying them a car, you're buying them a bumper car.
• 15:50
  SPEAKER_06: That's what you're buying.
• 15:52
  SPEAKER_06: You ever sat in the front seat teaching a 15, 16-year-old kid to drive a car?
• 15:56
  SPEAKER_06: Here's the parent in the passenger seat.
• 16:00
  SPEAKER_06: And I'm still in the driveway.
• 16:01
  SPEAKER_06: Okay.
• 16:04
  SPEAKER_06: So we bought in this vehicle, and you know, as a parent, there's things that you know you're supposed to teach your children, and other things that nobody bothers telling you that you need to tell them what to do or how to do or whatever.
• 16:16
  SPEAKER_06: One of those things is how to put gasoline in a car.
• 16:22
  SPEAKER_06: Now, I didn't have any sisters, but I know that boys by the age of three just innately not how to put the freaking gas in a car.
• 16:33
  SPEAKER_06: Girls, apparently, not so much.
• 16:36
  SPEAKER_06: Now, I will admit my wife is smarter than me, especially when it comes to raising kids, and she knows things about girls, obviously.
• 16:43
  SPEAKER_06: And one evening, after my daughter had had her car for about a week, my wife came to me and she said very seriously, she said, Okay, her car is almost on empty.
• 16:52
  SPEAKER_06: I'm going to take her and she's going to put gasoline in her car for the first time.
• 17:01
  SPEAKER_06: And I, not wanting to look like an idiot, pretended I knew what she was talking about.
• 17:07
  SPEAKER_06: And so I went, okay.
• 17:16
  SPEAKER_06: A little while later, they came back from putting gas in the car.
• 17:21
  SPEAKER_06: My wife walks in the front door, hands me a video camera, and says, You gotta see this.
• 17:30
  SPEAKER_06: And I'm like, what?
• 17:31
  SPEAKER_06: She goes, No, trust me, you're gonna have new material for your show.
• 17:37
  SPEAKER_06: So I remounted, hit a play, and sure enough, there's my daughter standing next to her car.
• 17:41
  SPEAKER_06: She has a door open on the gas tank, and she's standing there doing this.
• 17:54
  SPEAKER_03: Mom, it won't open.
• 17:59
  SPEAKER_06: Now, the first indication that my wife can be a very cruel woman when she wants to be is what she did to help the child.
• 18:08
  SPEAKER_06: Nothing.
• 18:19
  SPEAKER_04: She just stood there videotaping.
• 18:25
  SPEAKER_06: Then you hear my wife say, honey, remember, righty tidy, lefty loosey.
• 18:33
  SPEAKER_06: And the sixteen-year-old girl goes, whatever.
• 18:41
  SPEAKER_06: Camera starts shaking.
• 18:44
  SPEAKER_06: Then you hear my wife say, honey, turn it counterclockwise.
• 18:52
  SPEAKER_06: My daughter looked at her watch.
• 18:56
  SPEAKER_06: And I'm the father standing there watching the tape, going, oh no, no, no.
• 19:03
  SPEAKER_06: Because I realized she was looking at her watch two or three seconds too long before she realized she was gazing at a digital watch.
• 19:14
  SPEAKER_06: I have a girlfriend, not for long.
• 19:18
  SPEAKER_06: Not when she finds out a doctor and me boyfriends.
• 19:25
  SPEAKER_06: Will you please listen to what I'm saying?
• 19:27
  SPEAKER_06: I do not talk to horse.
• 19:30
  SPEAKER_06: You are dead to me.
• 19:34
  SPEAKER_06: You're dead to all of us.
• 19:46
  SPEAKER_06: So Ahmed, I'm not listening.
• 19:53
  SPEAKER_06: One of your whore boyfriends?
• 19:55
  SPEAKER_06: I think not.
• 19:56
  SPEAKER_06: No, I think this is someone you would like to see.
• 19:59
  SPEAKER_06: Is it a woman?
• 20:01
  SPEAKER_06: No.
• 20:02
  SPEAKER_06: I already have a goal.
• 20:06
  SPEAKER_06: This is a surprise guest.
• 20:08
  SPEAKER_03: Ryan Seeker.
• 20:11
  SPEAKER_06: No.
• 20:13
  SPEAKER_06: What I want you to do is I just want you to look over there while I'm getting him out because he won't pee.
• 20:17
  SPEAKER_06: Just look over there.
• 20:18
  SPEAKER_06: Oh wait a minute.
• 20:19
  SPEAKER_05: When I'm not looking, are you going to kill me?
• 20:23
  unknown: No.
• 20:23
  SPEAKER_05: That's actually a good way of doing it, you know.
• 20:29
  SPEAKER_03: It's like, hey, look at that.
• 20:34
  SPEAKER_06: No, just look over there and don't look back until I say so.
• 20:37
  SPEAKER_06: Okay, whatever.
• 20:37
  SPEAKER_06: This is kind of like look over there, okay.
• 20:40
  SPEAKER_06: Don't peek.
• 20:41
  SPEAKER_06: Okay.
• 20:43
  SPEAKER_06: No.
• 20:44
  SPEAKER_06: No.
• 20:44
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 21:03
  SPEAKER_02: Hello, father.
• 21:20
  SPEAKER_06: It's your son, Akkeman Jr.
• 21:27
  SPEAKER_05: That's right.
• 21:29
  SPEAKER_05: Wait, I thought you were dead.
• 21:31
  SPEAKER_06: Surprise.
• 21:33
  SPEAKER_06: This is great.
• 21:35
  SPEAKER_06: What happened to your face?
• 21:37
  SPEAKER_06: Oh yeah, my bad.
• 21:40
  SPEAKER_06: Accommodation, he's your son.
• 21:41
  SPEAKER_06: Look at him.
• 21:42
  SPEAKER_06: What do you see?
• 21:43
  SPEAKER_06: He does have my eye.
• 21:47
  SPEAKER_06: Actually, I do, yes, I do.
• 21:49
  SPEAKER_06: I can sound like Elton John.
• 21:52
  SPEAKER_06: When we were separated after the accident, he was raised in England.
• 21:57
  SPEAKER_05: Uh yeah, I don't know.
• 21:59
  SPEAKER_05: What the hell?
• 22:02
  SPEAKER_05: How do you not know?
• 22:13
  SPEAKER_05: What's wrong with your leg?
• 22:17
  SPEAKER_05: What's wrong with my leg?
• 22:20
  SPEAKER_05: Can you fix this?
• 22:32
  SPEAKER_05: Don't look at me.
• 22:37
  SPEAKER_06: Marnell, it works.
• 22:38
  SPEAKER_06: I know Marnell.
• 22:39
  SPEAKER_05: Marnell Don't take my leg.
• 22:50
  SPEAKER_02: He's kind of cute.
• 22:59
  SPEAKER_03: Okay, moving on!
• 23:01
  SPEAKER_06: So your wife's in town?
• 23:02
  SPEAKER_06: Oh yeah, she having a good time?
• 23:04
  SPEAKER_06: She always has a good time.
• 23:05
  SPEAKER_06: Good.
• 23:06
  SPEAKER_06: Pisses Leon.
• 23:09
  SPEAKER_06: She's a lovely lady.
• 23:10
  SPEAKER_06: She getting old.
• 23:11
  SPEAKER_06: Well, women age like like fine wine.
• 23:17
  SPEAKER_06: She's aging like milk.
• 23:24
  SPEAKER_06: Did you guys get another argument this morning?
• 23:26
  SPEAKER_06: Yeah, what happened?
• 23:27
  SPEAKER_06: I don't know.
• 23:27
  SPEAKER_06: She rolled out of dead junk on her menstrual cycle and ran my ass over.
• 23:38
  SPEAKER_06: Never heard it put quite that way before.
• 23:41
  SPEAKER_06: Oh, it even has a sound.
• 23:42
  SPEAKER_00: It goes nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag dow you been married?
• 23:56
  SPEAKER_06: Uh what is it now?
• 23:58
  SPEAKER_06: Uh forty-six years.
• 23:59
  SPEAKER_06: Ah.
• 24:00
  SPEAKER_06: What was the happiest moment of your life?
• 24:02
  SPEAKER_06: Forty-seven years ago.
• 24:07
  SPEAKER_06: How long you been married?
• 24:08
  SPEAKER_06: Uh fifteen years.
• 24:10
  SPEAKER_06: You'll see.
• 24:11
  SPEAKER_06: I'll see what.
• 24:12
  SPEAKER_06: Remember when you said till death do us part?
• 24:15
  SPEAKER_06: Yeah.
• 24:16
  SPEAKER_06: Later you'll realize you're actually setting a goal.
• 24:28
  SPEAKER_06: Walter, what exactly is marriage to you?
• 24:30
  SPEAKER_06: It's like drinking a slurpee.
• 24:31
  SPEAKER_06: Slurpee.
• 24:32
  SPEAKER_06: First couple of sets are like, boy, it's really good, I'm glad I did this.
• 24:35
  SPEAKER_06: And you keep drinking it, goes right to your head, and you go, ow, wow, ow, ow.
• 24:42
  SPEAKER_06: What the hell was I thinking?
• 24:46
  SPEAKER_06: Someone killed me, please! It eventually stops hurting.
• 24:50
  SPEAKER_06: Yeah, then you're stupid enough taking out a frickin' sap.
• 24:55
  SPEAKER_06: Ain't the same anymore, is it?
• 24:56
  SPEAKER_06: What being married all these years?
• 24:58
  SPEAKER_06: What you can't look at other women now, you can't talk to them, you can't do nothing.
• 25:02
  SPEAKER_06: What are you talking about?
• 25:03
  SPEAKER_06: I'll show you what I'm talking about.
• 25:05
  SPEAKER_06: See this lovely young lady sitting right here in the front row.
• 25:08
  SPEAKER_06: This gorgeous young thing.
• 25:10
  SPEAKER_06: Do you see her?
• 25:11
  SPEAKER_06: Yeah, do you see her?
• 25:12
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah?
• 25:12
  SPEAKER_06: Oh well.
• 25:18
  SPEAKER_06: Only thing you can do now is run to the end of your chain and bark.
• 25:34
  SPEAKER_06: Getting married's kind of like buying a new car, a new car.
• 25:37
  SPEAKER_06: You know when you see that car on the showroom floor just before you take it home?
• 25:41
  SPEAKER_06: Yeah, that's as good as it's ever gonna look.
• 25:44
  SPEAKER_06: Pretty soon it'll have dents and scratches, parts start to go bad, then the new models come out, you're like, oh honey, can I just sit in it?
• 25:58
  SPEAKER_06: No remember.