Latest / LOLwithMariandJohn.com / BALD AND TOOTHLESS #podcast #funny

Transcript

BALD AND TOOTHLESS #podcast #funny · LOLwithMariandJohn.com

• 0:00
  Heat. Heat.
• 0:02
  [music]
• 0:28
  >> [laughter]
• 0:30
  >> Woohoo!
• 0:32
  I want you to see my wristbands cuz I am
• 0:35
  physical. Physical. I want to get
• 0:38
  physical.
• 0:42
  Let me do my body.
• 0:47
  >> Wow.
• 0:50
  So many golden hits from days gone by.
• 0:54
  >> I know. Oh, shoot. You have to bleed me
• 0:58
  out on that one.
• 0:59
  >> Oh, you She doesn't have her makeup on.
• 1:03
  Shouldn't have her teeth in. That's
• 1:04
  right. She doesn't want anybody really
• 1:05
  to see her. I don't blame her.
• 1:06
  >> Tell the whole world.
• 1:07
  >> She looks She looks totally different
• 1:09
  when Okay. Okay. Hey, so today's
• 1:12
  subject, do you remember what it is?
• 1:14
  >> Hey, a shout out to Jackie.
• 1:17
  >> Happy birthday. We love you.
• 1:19
  >> Happy birthday, Jackie.
• 1:22
  >> The queen of the glory holes.
• 1:25
  [snorts]
• 1:27
  >> She's more like [sighs]
• 1:37
  >> All right.
• 1:37
  >> Anyway, love you. Happy birthday.
• 1:40
  >> Today's subject is brought to you by the
• 1:43
  letter B and the letter T.
• 1:48
  one. The letter B is for the word bald
• 1:54
  and the word T is for the word teeth.
• 2:01
  >> All right, so here's the question. Let
• 2:03
  us old Oh, sorry. Does old
• 2:12
  >> Sorry. Want [music] to keep it friendly.
• 2:14
  Yeah. Yeah.
• 2:15
  >> But man, curse words are so delicious.
• 2:19
  They just Okay,
• 2:20
  >> I know it just feels good to say
• 2:21
  >> the T. B was for bald. T was for
• 2:26
  >> teeth.
• 2:28
  >> What is worse to lose first? All of your
• 2:32
  hair or all of your teeth?
• 2:37
  >> That's for male and female. Which is
• 2:40
  worse to lose first? All of your
• 2:45
  >> hair
• 2:46
  >> or all of your
• 2:47
  >> teeth.
• 2:48
  >> Lean in. Lean in, Munchie.
• 2:50
  >> Okay.
• 2:51
  >> Lean in. I have to be bossy in a
• 2:53
  director because she likes
• 2:54
  [clears throat]
• 2:54
  >> You have to be bossy.
• 2:55
  >> Yeah, because you speak softer than I
• 2:57
  do, too.
• 2:58
  >> I do because I'm a gentle soul.
• 3:01
  >> Oh, I'm feeling a little bit of the
• 3:03
  diva. All right. So, which is worse than
• 3:06
  hair or teeth? I think for both
• 3:11
  male or female, losing your hair, we'll
• 3:16
  say at a very young age is
• 3:18
  >> Are you just saying that because I lost
• 3:19
  my hair and you're trying to be nice?
• 3:21
  Because of course I've seen you suffer
• 3:23
  for not having teeth. Look at what
• 3:26
  you're wearing right now.
• 3:27
  >> Oh my god. It's just the worst thing.
• 3:29
  >> You could say the same about what I'm
• 3:31
  wearing and not having hair, [laughter]
• 3:34
  >> you know? Like I'm trying to compensate.
• 3:36
  I mean, it's not that you don't give a
• 3:39
  >> go. [music]
• 3:44
  Oh my god.
• 3:46
  This first episode, but anyway,
• 3:48
  >> we're trying to be civil. Come on, let's
• 3:50
  be
• 3:50
  >> Yes, let's be classy.
• 3:53
  >> Classy. Let's be Let's be classy.
• 3:55
  >> All right. So, which is worse? Losing
• 3:58
  your hair or losing your teeth first?
• 4:00
  Which is worse? First, if you're really
• 4:03
  young, I think for both is just as bad.
• 4:07
  >> But okay, but if being old
• 4:10
  >> Mhm.
• 4:11
  >> both is just as bad now.
• 4:15
  >> Yeah.
• 4:16
  >> I'm sorry.
• 4:16
  >> The technology is so advanced though.
• 4:18
  So, are you really worried about either?
• 4:20
  I mean,
• 4:20
  >> yeah. Technology for the rich people.
• 4:23
  >> You know what I'm saying? Seriously. For
• 4:26
  the poor people. Is it is it just me or
• 4:29
  is she being a little bit, you know,
• 4:31
  rockus today? Like she's being a a broad
• 4:35
  a LITTLE BRASSY BROAD. HEY, this is
• 4:38
  >> It feels good though. It feels good,
• 4:40
  especially under this hat. You know,
• 4:42
  we're going to have to
• 4:42
  >> But you've been so quiet in the past.
• 4:44
  What was that about?
• 4:45
  >> Because I don't know. I think it's a
• 4:50
  mask you wear
• 4:52
  and I feel more in a cocoon where I can
• 4:57
  be as brassy as I want. Even though I
• 5:00
  could be brassy without it,
• 5:02
  >> right?
• 5:03
  >> But I'm right now more comfortable.
• 5:06
  >> I think you've been a very kind and
• 5:08
  gentle person your entire life. And I
• 5:10
  think this podcast is asking you to let
• 5:12
  your inner self out more.
• 5:14
  >> Yeah. And I think that people don't
• 5:16
  realize how brassy you really are when
• 5:18
  you're not around the John Q public
• 5:22
  >> cuz you are you can be kind of like
• 5:25
  mouthy and and which is good. It's
• 5:28
  fabulous. It's fabulous.
• 5:29
  >> But at the same time, you know, at
• 5:31
  Banana, I am more brassy just on my own.
• 5:37
  >> Oh.
• 5:38
  >> Which is very interesting, you know.
• 5:40
  >> Well, you kind of perform when you're at
• 5:42
  work, I've noticed.
• 5:43
  >> Oh, yeah. I mean, you have the whole get
• 5:45
  up and then you're
• 5:46
  >> I got to set my stage, you know, wear
• 5:48
  the makeup, which I have
• 5:52
  always
• 5:53
  >> a girl, I tell you what.
• 5:56
  >> Yes.
• 5:57
  >> But yeah, I and I love my my boys that
• 6:00
  come in at Banana. I love them all.
• 6:04
  >> Hey, shout out to Banana.
• 6:06
  >> Shout out to
• 6:06
  >> All right, so we still haven't answered
• 6:08
  the question. What's worse to lose
• 6:09
  first, your teeth or your hair? You were
• 6:12
  saying
• 6:13
  >> that you think it's the hair and I was
• 6:15
  saying maybe you're just saying that to
• 6:17
  be nice because I've seen you suffer not
• 6:19
  having teeth.
• 6:20
  >> Yeah, I I
• 6:23
  it is a bummer
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  >> because it changes your facial structure
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  and and it's like overnight you go from
• 6:30
  being this young voluuptuous person to
• 6:33
  looking like grandma in like 24 hours.
• 6:38
  It's, you know, at the same time that
• 6:41
  I'm really I'm sad about it because I
• 6:43
  am. I have to be honest.
• 6:45
  >> At the same time, I'm kind of proud of
• 6:47
  it because
• 6:50
  I am a nana like to a lot of kids.
• 6:53
  >> Oh, grandma. That means grandma for
• 6:55
  those of you that don't speak
• 7:00
  >> my kids are my grandkids
• 7:03
  >> and
• 7:05
  kids are my grandkids is my grandusio
• 7:11
  Dominic
• 7:15
  Michelle Wendy oh there's a lot of them
• 7:21
  I love you guys
• 7:22
  >> and what about the Sanchez
• 7:24
  Oh yeah. Mari
• 7:27
  um
• 7:31
  >> see I can't remember names like that.
• 7:34
  >> There's Maya.
• 7:36
  >> Wow. You remember names like from people
• 7:39
  at like the grocery store. All the
• 7:40
  employees you know name the bank.
• 7:44
  There's um Barbie. There's Nina.
• 7:50
  I know a bunch of them. Then all my
• 7:51
  girls at the bank. Shout out to them,
• 7:54
  too. We got
• 7:58
  >> Oh my god.
• 8:02
  >> Yeah, you know them all.
• 8:04
  >> Yeah. And then don't forget Tan. We
• 8:06
  totally adored you.
• 8:09
  >> Yeah. Really cool.
• 8:10
  >> So, anyways, but I can't remember all
• 8:13
  the names. I have the cheese holes
• 8:14
  there.
• 8:15
  >> Well, I'm getting I think I'm
• 8:17
  remembering now. It must be the Alarine,
• 8:19
  you know.
• 8:20
  >> Oh, yes. Shout out to Elarine.
• 8:22
  >> Shout out to shout out episode.
• 8:26
  [laughter]
• 8:27
  >> Maybe that's what we should call this
• 8:28
  episode. Shout out
• 8:31
  >> shout out to our peeps.
• 8:32
  >> Yeah.
• 8:33
  >> Oh my god.
• 8:34
  >> Anyways.
• 8:34
  >> Anyways, so what's worse? I think yes.
• 8:38
  Losing my teeth has been and I was like
• 8:42
  really pushing to get rid of all the
• 8:44
  teeth that I had even though some of
• 8:46
  them were good. But I needed to have I
• 8:51
  you know I needed to have a look
• 8:53
  >> and
• 8:55
  >> yeah I think it was a bummer though that
• 8:56
  they're that they're they weren't fit
• 8:58
  very well in the beginning and and that
• 9:01
  often is the case that people talk about
• 9:03
  that that you know uh because your your
• 9:06
  gums are going to
• 9:08
  >> um I guess move in. I don't know they're
• 9:11
  going to change dramatically like the
• 9:13
  whole first
• 9:15
  >> whatever the time Yeah. like the first
• 9:17
  three months, year, whatever,
• 9:19
  >> a year or something like that.
• 9:20
  >> So, inevitably, you're going to have to
• 9:22
  have your dentures refit probably, I
• 9:24
  would imagine, because
• 9:25
  >> that you want that suction thing to
• 9:27
  happen where they fit so well that they
• 9:29
  create kind of a suction and you don't
• 9:30
  have to use so much glue because that's
• 9:32
  kind of weird. Never want to glue in
• 9:34
  your mouth.
• 9:34
  >> Yeah. And I can eat. I can't eat with
• 9:37
  what I have.
• 9:38
  >> But also, the dentures have because they
• 9:41
  have that uh pallet thing that goes
• 9:44
  across
• 9:46
  It blocks you from tasting a lot of
• 9:48
  food.
• 9:48
  >> Oh my god. Some of my friends can attest
• 9:50
  to this too because they have dentures.
• 9:53
  Um, but it's just, you know, you put
• 9:57
  whatever like something flavored like a
• 9:59
  burger. You can't chew the burger.
• 10:02
  Number one. Number two, you can't taste
• 10:05
  any of it. You can taste the meat and
• 10:08
  then the bread gets stuck on the top of
• 10:10
  the roof of your mouth on that pallet
• 10:12
  thing. It's horri.
• 10:16
  >> Okay.
• 10:17
  >> Now, I just want to say something.
• 10:18
  >> Yes.
• 10:20
  >> Let me go for a moment here. Let me
• 10:22
  start with this.
• 10:26
  [laughter]
• 10:27
  >> For those of you who are not watching,
• 10:29
  I'm tossing imaginary long hair behind
• 10:32
  your shoulders.
• 10:33
  >> Your cascadian long hair. That's good,
• 10:36
  baby.
• 10:38
  >> Because it's been decades since I have
• 10:41
  put shampoo on my hair. [laughter]
• 10:43
  >> I'm sorry.
• 10:44
  >> Do you know what it's like to have to
• 10:46
  walk past the shampoo aisle for decades?
• 10:50
  It's like an aisle I never ever visit
• 10:52
  anymore. There's a sadness to it.
• 10:55
  [laughter]
• 10:55
  >> Sadness.
• 10:56
  >> But it is funny the way, you know. What
• 10:58
  about getting a haircut? Oh, picking a
• 11:01
  new style. the chain. You know when
• 11:03
  people say, "Well, get a wig. Get a
• 11:06
  tube. Get a
• 11:08
  >> And then there's those things that you
• 11:10
  glue on."
• 11:11
  >> Oh my god.
• 11:12
  >> Wow.
• 11:13
  >> Oh my god.
• 11:14
  >> That's kind of crazy. I I was Yeah. The
• 11:16
  glue on hair piece thingies that stay
• 11:18
  on, I don't know, for a long amount of
• 11:21
  time that you can even shower and swim.
• 11:23
  And I'm like, but they glue to your
• 11:25
  head. So that's got to be killing
• 11:27
  something up there. The tissue, the
• 11:29
  >> brain cell.
• 11:33
  Depends on the glue. Well, they're not
• 11:35
  right. Unless Yeah.
• 11:36
  >> Yeah. But it absorbs. I mean, your skin
• 11:39
  absorbs whatever you're putting on it.
• 11:41
  >> Oh, yeah. Well, no. There you go.
• 11:43
  >> You know, I mean, I'm just saying.
• 11:46
  >> So, um, I passed this on to the great
• 11:49
  people of the world. Which is worse?
• 11:53
  First off, to lose your hair.
• 11:56
  >> Mhm.
• 11:57
  >> Or to lose your teeth?
• 11:58
  >> Please.
• 12:00
  You can go to
• 12:03
  lol
• 12:04
  with myandjo.com
• 12:08
  >> and you can drop us a message uh and let
• 12:12
  us know. All right.
• 12:13
  >> Send us an email. Subscribe.
• 12:17
  >> We'll talk to you later. Have a good
• 12:18
  one.
• 12:19
  >> Love. Peace.
• 12:20
  >> Who say I can? Go go go go go go go.
• 12:26
  You got this. You got this. You got
• 12:28
  this. Go go go go go go. Yeah.
• 12:33
  >> All right. Bye.
• 12:34
  >> Bye.
• 12:39
  [music]
• 12:53
  Heat. Heat.
• 12:56
  [music]
• 13:01
  [laughter]