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Leading Through Life Transitions: Making Decisions When You Don’t Feel Ready · The Boujee Multipreneur

• 0:16
  SPEAKER_00: Hi, welcome back to the Bougie Multipreneur.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_00: I'm your host, Dr.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_00: Hillary, and we are continuing our series today about leading through life transitions.
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_00: I mentioned on the last episode I've had transitions and I'm currently going through transitions, and it just feels like, hey, let's just talk about it.
• 0:35
  SPEAKER_00: Today we're going to talk about something I see come up all the time, especially in seasons where things feel uncertain.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_00: I noticed this myself and which my with my coaching clients and you know, just friends and family in general, but making decisions when you don't feel ready.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_00: That's what we're going to talk about today.
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_00: Because have you ever found yourself thinking, I just need a little more time, I just need more clarity, I just want to feel more sure about this or that.
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I want you to know that feeling is completely normal, but it's also the thing that will keep you stuck the longest.
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_00: And here's what I need you to hear today.
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_00: You are not supposed to feel 100% ready.
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_00: That's not how growth works, that's not how leadership works, and it's definitely not how entrepreneurship works.
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_00: Isn't that crazy?
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_00: You're not supposed to feel 100% ready.
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_00: And this happens to me all the time, you guys.
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_00: Starting businesses, hiring my first employee for any business, raising my prices, ah, making a big investment.
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my gosh, there's so many of those that I never felt ready for.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_00: I was never 100% on board with some things.
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_00: And maybe it was 60% or 75%.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe it was 75% on a good day, right?
• 2:11
  SPEAKER_00: So I remember thinking to myself, I am going to move to a state that I've never lived in, buy a chiropractic practice right out of chiropractic college.
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_00: I know no one, I don't know the city, and I'm going to invest my money into buying a practice.
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_00: Fast forward, um, the practice was shitty.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_00: I kind of got taken by that.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, you live and you learn.
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_00: You're, you know, I was in my 20s.
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_00: I even had a business coach and they looked over everything.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_00: But the thing is, uh, that was not a great uh business move to buy a practice that was failing.
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_00: It was hidden very well.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_00: But I learned a lot and I just clawed my way back up, right?
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_00: Um, it wasn't the worst thing that's ever happened to me.
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_00: I've had way worse, but I didn't feel ready, I didn't know.
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_00: But you know, you hope and you pray, and you're led to it, and I find that things happen for a reason and it unfolded so easily for me that I knew it was meant to be.
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_00: That's also how I found chiropractic care and how I decided to become a chiropractor.
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_00: So we've been conditioned to think that confidence comes first, that we'll wake up one day and go, okay, now I'm ready.
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_00: But in reality, the confidence comes after the decision, not before.
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_00: And for me, it comes decisions over and over again that I know that I've succeeded in the past.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_00: But imagine if I didn't take that first step into buying a practice, maybe I wouldn't have all the businesses I do right now.
• 3:49
  SPEAKER_00: If I didn't say yes to getting a rental property and then buying more and more and more and becoming, you know, like a landlord, I wouldn't have all those properties.
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_00: So here's where a lot of business owners get stuck, in my opinion.
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_00: Because instead of making a decision, they sit in indecision.
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_00: And then here's what no one tells you indecision is actually more exhausting than making the wrong decision.
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_00: Have I made a wrong decision?
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, yeah.
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_00: I definitely started a business two years into it.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, no, this is not for me.
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_00: I hate every bit of this.
• 4:25
  SPEAKER_00: I don't, I don't want to do this.
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_00: Did I lose a lot of money?
• 4:29
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 4:29
  SPEAKER_00: I did learn a lot though, and that's okay.
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_00: And I kind of laugh and I'm like, I failed.
• 4:37
  SPEAKER_00: I literally failed that because I'd gone so long without failing and without making a wrong decision.
• 4:45
  SPEAKER_00: And that's okay.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_00: I I look back, and even in the moment, I was like, wow, I legit failed.
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 4:51
  SPEAKER_00: You know, and that's how I feel about things in life too.
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_00: Going through a life transition right now, I feel like, oh, wow, I'm getting a divorce.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_00: That's failing.
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_00: I failed big time on that, didn't I?
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and maybe I know everyone listening and all everyone around me, you didn't fail, Hillary.
• 5:12
  SPEAKER_00: But to me, it's a failure.
• 5:13
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and that's okay.
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_00: I'm going to learn and I'm gonna bounce back, right?
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_00: That's that's what we do.
• 5:19
  SPEAKER_00: We we learn from our mistakes, unfortunately, you know, and that's okay.
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_00: So what we want to think about for that second, take the pause and think about all the mental energy it takes to do the the go back and forth, to overthink everything, to replace scenarios, to ask everyone for advice, but then still not decide that drains you, that indecision drains you.
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_00: Because here's the truth most decisions are not permanent, they're adjustable, they're flexible, and they're figure outable, right?
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_00: So instead of asking, what if this is the wrong decision?
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_00: Start asking, what happens if I don't decide?
• 6:08
  SPEAKER_00: What happens if the next step doesn't work?
• 6:13
  SPEAKER_00: Can I handle that outcome?
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_00: And most of the time is yes, we are more capable than you give yourself credit for.
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_00: You've handled the hard things before, you've figured things out before, you've adapted before.
• 6:31
  SPEAKER_00: The goal is not to make perfect decisions, the goal is to make aligned decisions and lead them well.
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_00: I really feel that I mean, I'm a planner, 100% true and true.
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_00: Love to have control over things, love to plan every single second of my day in life.
• 6:49
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm a type A.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_00: I know, big surprise.
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_00: But so many things I can't plan for, and I want to so bad.
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_00: I want to know what the future has in store.
• 7:01
  SPEAKER_00: I want to work harder towards that future, but I really just feel that I'm not in control.
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_00: There's one God's in control, um, the universe is in control.
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_00: It's not me.
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_00: I need to, yes, follow the steps, do the best things I possibly can, make the best decisions I can.
• 7:21
  SPEAKER_00: But in the end, I can't control everything because it's already figured out for me.
• 7:26
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm just riding this wave, you guys.
• 7:29
  SPEAKER_00: If you're sitting on a decision right now, I want you to stop waiting to feel ready because that feeling might not come.
• 7:39
  SPEAKER_00: But the clarity will come after you move, confidence will come after you act, and the momentum will come after you decide.
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_00: You will feel that in you.
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_00: You will feel that that's the right thing to do.
• 7:53
  SPEAKER_00: When things are easy to do or hurdles suddenly fall away.
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_00: For me, that's when I know, and I trust my gut instinct that this is the right thing to do.
• 8:04
  SPEAKER_00: So you don't need certainty, you need self-trust.
• 8:09
  SPEAKER_00: You need to trust yourself that your intuition is taking you somewhere or doing something for a reason.
• 8:15
  SPEAKER_00: If this episode helped you, please share it, tag me, send it to someone who maybe needs to hear it.
• 8:21
  SPEAKER_00: I know we all have someone that is struggling right now in these life seasons.
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_00: Like I said, I am, and I just decided to talk about it because I know I'm not the only one out there feeling this way.
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_00: I have a couple more episodes coming about this, you know, just these life transitions.
• 8:40
  SPEAKER_00: Feel free to reach out.
• 8:42
  SPEAKER_00: I'm here to help you through yours.
• 8:44
  SPEAKER_00: I have a business coach that's helping me through mine.
• 8:47
  SPEAKER_00: I have a therapist that's helping through me through mine.
• 8:50
  SPEAKER_00: I am a certified life coach and I'm a business coach.
• 8:54
  SPEAKER_00: So please reach out.
• 8:55
  SPEAKER_00: Have a great day.