Latest / Born To The Game Podcast / Shaya Bryant: Grief, Loss & Carrying Her Family's Legacy Forward (Part 2) | Born To The Game Podcast

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Shaya Bryant: Grief, Loss & Carrying Her Family's Legacy Forward (Part 2) | Born To The Game Podcast · Born To The Game Podcast

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Brothers into storytelling and things like that. I remember even
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: when he wrote his first book, I texted him. I said, listen,
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: if you ain't got no pictures in there, I ain't
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: reading that shit. I was like, I need some illustrations, please.
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: This is born to the gay.
• 0:33
  Speaker 2: Hi.
• 0:48
  Speaker 1: Hi, Shay. Hello. Yes.
• 0:51
  Speaker 3: So you have experienced unimaginable loss that I can only,
• 0:58
  Speaker 3: that we can only imagine. And I know that it
• 1:01
  Speaker 3: has deeply affected you and changed you. In what ways
• 1:07
  Speaker 3: has grief just shaped who you are now and changed you?
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: It's crazy. Like growing up, you know, you have grandparents
• 1:17
  Speaker 1: that if they're older, I mean, some of us are
• 1:19
  Speaker 1: blessed to still have them, but some, you know, you know,
• 1:22
  Speaker 1: they're older, right? So you're like, okay, they're going to pass.
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: But when you have these unimaginable, life-changing passings, it definitely,
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: it changes you. It almost breaks you. But I'm thankful
• 1:42
  Speaker 1: that I have my kids and like my husband because
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: the last six years, we actually had six people, actually
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: seven people pass in my family. So besides my brother,
• 1:54
  Speaker 1: my niece, my dad, my mother-in-law, my father-in-law. And my grandmother.
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: It's a lot. It's just heavy. And I think just
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: trying to navigate. It's literally like waves. Some days are
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: better than others. Like today's an okay day. It's an
• 2:13
  Speaker 1: okay day. But I know at a drop, just a
• 2:17
  Speaker 1: feather or just the wind could blow wrong. And then
• 2:20
  Speaker 1: I'll just lose it. Like I said, today, I'm okay.
• 2:24
  Speaker 1: And we are.
• 2:26
  Speaker 3: And so in those moments where... You're good and it's okay.
• 2:32
  Speaker 3: I guess you just kind of take it moment by
• 2:34
  Speaker 3: moment and you're honoring where you are and you're not
• 2:37
  Speaker 3: putting pressure on yourself to feel anything other than what
• 2:41
  Speaker 3: you feel. So grief does come in waves.
• 2:44
  Speaker 2: It does.
• 2:44
  Speaker 3: So when it smacks you in the face, what is
• 2:48
  Speaker 3: one thing that helps you navigate those emotions? Do you journal?
• 2:52
  Speaker 2: No.
• 2:52
  Speaker 3: Do you just kind of sit with it? Do you
• 2:54
  Speaker 3: talk to a therapist?
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: Oh, therapist. Okay. Therapy. Listen, God has these people on
• 3:02
  Speaker 1: earth for a reason, right, in this profession to help
• 3:05
  Speaker 1: you navigate a lot of those days. But also the
• 3:12
  Speaker 1: gym is my therapy. So that's why I do go,
• 3:15
  Speaker 1: you know, sometimes excessively, sometimes seven days a week. But
• 3:19
  Speaker 1: it doesn't mean that I'm going hard seven days a week,
• 3:21
  Speaker 1: even if it is just walking on the treadmill or
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: doing the Stairmaster or just sitting in the sauna. That's
• 3:27
  Speaker 1: my time to just kind of just sit in it.
• 3:31
  Speaker 1: And there's some days when I don't want to do anything,
• 3:35
  Speaker 1: you know. But I think you just have to welcome
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: every wave. Yes.
• 3:43
  Speaker 3: Do you find solace in or comfort with your sister
• 3:47
  Speaker 3: and your mom? And you guys are able to, I guess,
• 3:51
  Speaker 3: navigate this.
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: I do. I mean, really, I look at my sisters like, God,
• 3:56
  Speaker 1: it's like you and I, you know, because this. It's okay.
• 4:01
  Speaker 1: It's okay.
• 4:02
  Speaker 4: Take a breath.
• 4:02
  Speaker 1: Okay. Yeah. I think, um. Just having her and be
• 4:13
  Speaker 1: able to talk about, you know, our childhood and just
• 4:15
  Speaker 1: different memories and things like that, really helpful. It's hard
• 4:19
  Speaker 1: for me right now, like with my dad recently passing too,
• 4:22
  Speaker 1: I want to be there with my mom. I mean,
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: she lost her son, you know, and... Her mom and
• 4:28
  Speaker 1: her husband, you know, my dad and mom were married
• 4:30
  Speaker 1: for 50 years. So I think for me, it's just
• 4:34
  Speaker 1: even going to their house. Sometimes it's hard because I
• 4:38
  Speaker 1: miss him. But I know I need to be there
• 4:41
  Speaker 1: for her. Yeah. Definitely daddy's girl.
• 4:47
  Speaker 2: What has grief..
• 4:52
  Speaker 3: The journey that you're on taught you about strength that
• 4:55
  Speaker 3: you didn't know.
• 4:56
  Speaker 1: That you had to get through this. Man, when everything
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: happened just lately, I really didn't even think I was
• 5:04
  Speaker 1: going to get out of bed. I remember days when
• 5:08
  Speaker 1: my kids would just come in. So just check on me.
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: But seeing them made it better. Like I know I'm
• 5:18
  Speaker 1: here for them too, right?
• 5:21
  Speaker 2: Mm-hmm.
• 5:21
  Speaker 1: And I want to show them how I cope with
• 5:23
  Speaker 1: things and work through things is showing them how to navigate,
• 5:28
  Speaker 1: you know, when they get older. So, like I said,
• 5:33
  Speaker 1: I'm just grateful for my children and my husband. Yes.
• 5:37
  Speaker 2: St.
• 5:38
  Speaker 1: Michael. We're calling him St.
• 5:39
  Speaker 2: Michael. St.
• 5:39
  Speaker 3: Michael.
• 5:40
  Speaker 1: So they're your crutch. Because he cooks.
• 5:43
  Speaker 3: He's a man of many talents.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah.
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  Speaker 1: He's there. He knows when I'm off.
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  Speaker 4: Yes.
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  Speaker 1: He'd be like, I'm on my way home. Do you
• 5:52
  Speaker 1: want me to stop and get you jelly beans? I said,
• 5:55
  Speaker 1: that's my love letter. He's a good man, Savannah. He's
• 5:58
  Speaker 1: a good man. I said, yes, stop and get me
• 6:02
  Speaker 1: some jelly beans. Two packs.
• 6:04
  Speaker 2: Two packs.
• 6:05
  Speaker 3: So how often do you talk to your therapist? And
• 6:07
  Speaker 3: what's one piece of advice that she or he has
• 6:10
  Speaker 3: given you when... You're just feeling the weight of your emotions.
• 6:14
  Speaker 1: This is the craziest thing with my therapist. When it's
• 6:18
  Speaker 1: a she and we talk once a month now before
• 6:20
  Speaker 1: it was every two weeks. I look up one day
• 6:25
  Speaker 1: in my workout class and she's in my class.
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  Speaker 2: Wow.
• 6:31
  Speaker 4: So was it weird?
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  Speaker 1: I was like..
• 6:35
  Speaker 4: Do you acknowledge her or not?
• 6:37
  Speaker 1: We get like a head nod. Like, we're not having
• 6:41
  Speaker 1: a session on this channel today. But literally, I was
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: just like, oh, hello, doctor. Yeah. But she sees the
• 6:50
  Speaker 1: work that I'm putting in and she always smiles and
• 6:52
  Speaker 1: just says, you know, good job. Because that is part
• 6:54
  Speaker 1: of my mental, right? And my therapy as well. Besides
• 6:57
  Speaker 1: talking through it with her and navigating, it's also... um
• 7:01
  Speaker 1: getting to the gym and sweating it out um but
• 7:07
  Speaker 1: yeah if you need therapy please go see a therapist
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: yes they're there for a reason yes they're going to
• 7:12
  Speaker 1: help you navigate through some things and give you their
• 7:14
  Speaker 1: unbiased opinion because a lot of times yes you could
• 7:17
  Speaker 1: go to your bestie yes you could go to family
• 7:20
  Speaker 1: but everyone's going to have their own opinion but That's
• 7:23
  Speaker 1: what they do for work. That is their job. They
• 7:26
  Speaker 1: are trained.
• 7:27
  Speaker 4: So some people have issues with picking one. So this
• 7:30
  Speaker 4: is specific.
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  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 7:32
  Speaker 4: So what are some like advice about picking a person
• 7:36
  Speaker 4: to pull you?
• 7:37
  Speaker 1: I think you wouldn't know. If you're gelling with someone,
• 7:40
  Speaker 1: you feel that. If you could just be either via
• 7:43
  Speaker 1: Zoom or on a couch or whatever, especially nowadays, a
• 7:45
  Speaker 1: lot of times it is. Zoom, yeah. You could do
• 7:47
  Speaker 1: a virtual. Yeah. Virtual is great. You know. And she
• 7:51
  Speaker 1: even asked, she was like, listen, My first session, she's like, Shaya,
• 7:55
  Speaker 1: if I'm not the right fit for you, I will
• 7:57
  Speaker 1: not take offense. But please let me know. So she
• 8:01
  Speaker 1: was open to that. I was like, oh, I like her.
• 8:02
  Speaker 1: Because she's just like, listen, if this doesn't work for you,
• 8:06
  Speaker 1: if you feel like I'm not the right fit, I'm okay.
• 8:09
  Speaker 1: Explore other options. But I'm here to help you and navigate.
• 8:12
  Speaker 1: I was like, oh.
• 8:14
  Speaker 3: Good to know.
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  Speaker 1: It takes the pressure off. It does. Because sometimes people
• 8:18
  Speaker 1: are so forceful. Like, no, you're going to do this
• 8:20
  Speaker 1: and this.
• 8:21
  Speaker 3: And she's like, no, it's really like conversational and kind of, yeah.
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  Speaker 3: Do you find, and we don't have to answer this,
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  Speaker 3: do you find peace in watching some old footage of
• 8:31
  Speaker 3: your dad and Kobe? Can you do it now?
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  Speaker 2: I do.
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  Speaker 1: Well, like some days, right? So with my dad, I
• 8:38
  Speaker 1: wish I had more footage, right? But with Kobe, you
• 8:41
  Speaker 1: have so much footage. I mean, just our childhood memories,
• 8:45
  Speaker 1: like video camera, things like that. With my dad, like
• 8:47
  Speaker 1: I said, it's a little bit more challenging, but I
• 8:49
  Speaker 1: do have a lot of videos on my phone that
• 8:51
  Speaker 1: I took playing the piano or summertime jumping in the
• 8:54
  Speaker 1: pool or playing Marco Polo or when he would be like,
• 8:57
  Speaker 1: I'm the sea creature, you know, like jump off the
• 9:00
  Speaker 1: diamond board, like fun things like that.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah.
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  Speaker 1: But I do, I do definitely, uh, miss them, but
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  Speaker 1: I love hearing their voices too.
• 9:09
  Speaker 3: And what about when you're out, you're in LA, the murals,
• 9:14
  Speaker 3: the murals, how, what emotions come up? Is it, you know,
• 9:18
  Speaker 3: do you feel proud? Do you feel all of the
• 9:21
  Speaker 3: proud for sure? But also like, God, this is reality too.
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  Speaker 3: It kind of sinks in like, yeah. Like I remember
• 9:28
  Speaker 3: going to a concert out here one time, um, And
• 9:32
  Speaker 3: I didn't tell him I was coming into town.
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  Speaker 4: Okay.
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  Speaker 1: And he was like, he texted me. He's like, you
• 9:37
  Speaker 1: in my city? You didn't tell me? I said, first
• 9:41
  Speaker 1: of all, I was in Pasadena. So technically. Technically. He's like, yeah,
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  Speaker 1: but I'm all this.
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  Speaker 2: I got my eyes everywhere.
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  Speaker 1: I was in Pasadena.
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  Speaker 3: He wasn't wrong.
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  Speaker 1: He wasn't wrong. I realize that now. I didn't realize
• 10:00
  Speaker 1: it then. I literally just flew in for a show
• 10:02
  Speaker 1: and came right back out. But yeah, so it is
• 10:05
  Speaker 1: his city. It is his city. I acknowledge that.
• 10:08
  Speaker 4: It is his city.
• 10:11
  Speaker 3: What about your brother and your father do you carry
• 10:16
  Speaker 3: with you day to day?
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  Speaker 1: I think just the love and the memories. There's so many.
• 10:23
  Speaker 1: And it's funny because when you were asking even like
• 10:25
  Speaker 1: questions and stuff, I'm sure when I get in the
• 10:27
  Speaker 1: car later, I'm like, oh my God, and this and
• 10:29
  Speaker 1: that because there's so much. You know? So I think
• 10:34
  Speaker 1: just day to day, just the love.
• 10:37
  Speaker 2: Yes.
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  Speaker 1: The memories.
• 10:38
  Speaker 2: Yes.
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  Speaker 1: The quality time, the jokes. Yeah. Just everything. We had
• 10:44
  Speaker 1: an amazing childhood.
• 10:45
  Speaker 2: Yes.
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  Speaker 1: Like, I look back now, I'm like, honey, you should
• 10:49
  Speaker 1: still be playing ball and overseas. He was like, I
• 10:51
  Speaker 1: am 50. I was like, I know how old you are.
• 10:54
  Speaker 1: But I'm just saying, you can coach.
• 10:56
  Speaker 2: You can coach.
• 10:57
  Speaker 1: I'm going to coach overseas. I was trying to convince
• 10:59
  Speaker 1: my kids, like, yeah.
• 11:00
  Speaker 2: Let's go overseas.
• 11:01
  Speaker 1: They're like, no, mom, I'm in high school now. And
• 11:02
  Speaker 1: I'm like, dang, we should have did this when they
• 11:04
  Speaker 1: were younger and they didn't have a choice. But now
• 11:06
  Speaker 1: here we are. So, but we'll see. Okay.
• 11:10
  Speaker 3: Do you feel a responsibility to carry your family's legacy?
• 11:15
  Speaker 3: Or do you feel permission to redefine it?
• 11:19
  Speaker 1: I think to carry the legacy. Like I said, I
• 11:23
  Speaker 1: do have two boys and my daughter. But my middle
• 11:29
  Speaker 1: one's really into basketball. So I am a little worried, right,
• 11:35
  Speaker 1: that everybody would compare him to his uncle.
• 11:38
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
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  Speaker 1: But I just got to prepare him to make sure
• 11:42
  Speaker 1: because there are going to be the quote unquote haters,
• 11:45
  Speaker 1: the naysayers. But I also want that to be able
• 11:47
  Speaker 1: to fuel him. He is 14. So he's still young.
• 11:52
  Speaker 1: So we're working on that. And then my 12 year old,
• 11:55
  Speaker 1: he just got into basketball.
• 11:57
  Speaker 4: Okay.
• 11:57
  Speaker 1: So we'll see. He's my late bloomer. He's more my
• 12:00
  Speaker 1: STEM and robotics kid.
• 12:01
  Speaker 4: Okay.
• 12:03
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 12:03
  Speaker 1: We love that. They're both lefties too, by the way.
• 12:05
  Speaker 1: We're not lefties. So I don't.
• 12:08
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah.
• 12:08
  Speaker 1: I don't know what that means.
• 12:09
  Speaker 4: Lefties are always usually geniuses.
• 12:11
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 12:12
  Speaker 1: They're very unique in the sport. Yeah. But yeah, a
• 12:16
  Speaker 1: lot of basketball legacy to be continued. The legacy continues.
• 12:21
  Speaker 4: To be continued.
• 12:22
  Speaker 3: So what do you do day to day to honor
• 12:25
  Speaker 3: your brother and your father?
• 12:27
  Speaker 1: It's funny. Every time I would work out, I remember
• 12:29
  Speaker 1: texting him like, yeah, I just worked out.
• 12:31
  Speaker 2: I killed this.
• 12:31
  Speaker 1: He's like, good job, Shea Shea. All right. So I
• 12:34
  Speaker 1: think it's just really... Um, honoring them is honoring myself.
• 12:39
  Speaker 1: And like I said, pouring into me, make sure I'm okay. Yes.
• 12:42
  Speaker 1: And I know they want me to be okay. Yes.
• 12:45
  Speaker 1: Like I said, when people pass and stuff and you grieve, yes,
• 12:48
  Speaker 1: we're sad, but you know, they're good. They're on the
• 12:50
  Speaker 1: other side. They're with, you know, um, it's us left
• 12:55
  Speaker 1: here that are left grieving.
• 12:56
  Speaker 4: Yeah. So what is their passing talk about yourself? What
• 13:00
  Speaker 4: have you learned the most about yourself moving forward?
• 13:05
  Speaker 1: That I'm stronger than I thought I was. For sure.
• 13:12
  Speaker 1: For sure. And I don't know if that strength is
• 13:17
  Speaker 1: that mama bear strength or what it is, but it's
• 13:20
  Speaker 1: definitely strength that I didn't know I had.
• 13:22
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 13:24
  Speaker 3: Do you feel like as time goes on, do you
• 13:27
  Speaker 3: feel like the grief hits you? Less and less? Do
• 13:31
  Speaker 3: you feel like the blow is softer or do you
• 13:33
  Speaker 3: still feel like it's the same but just comes in
• 13:36
  Speaker 3: different moments?
• 13:37
  Speaker 1: It's just so weird. You know, like I said, when people,
• 13:40
  Speaker 1: you know, pass like our grandparents when they're older. But
• 13:43
  Speaker 1: with this situation or this situation. happening it's more of
• 13:48
  Speaker 1: it's like a band-aid right so you think you're healing
• 13:52
  Speaker 1: and the wound has closed but then there are anniversaries
• 13:56
  Speaker 1: that come up birthdays that come up different things and
• 13:59
  Speaker 1: it's such in a public way yeah matter that it's
• 14:03
  Speaker 1: yeah everywhere like you can't really heal yeah nor escape
• 14:07
  Speaker 1: it or yeah so it's a beauty and a curse
• 14:10
  Speaker 1: it's a little bit of both you know because I
• 14:12
  Speaker 1: love seeing the highlights too a lot of times like
• 14:14
  Speaker 1: oh I haven't seen that in a long time this
• 14:16
  Speaker 1: is great you know but then it's kind of like
• 14:18
  Speaker 1: oh yeah um.
• 14:20
  Speaker 3: So yeah do you prepare yourself mentally when the anniversaries come.
• 14:24
  Speaker 1: Up I do and my husband and I talk about
• 14:27
  Speaker 1: it too he said listen I know it is coming
• 14:29
  Speaker 1: up because he could tell my mood shifts a little
• 14:32
  Speaker 1: bit so he's like how are you feeling okay um
• 14:35
  Speaker 1: and like for his birthday for example um I always
• 14:39
  Speaker 1: I try to work on a post in my mind
• 14:41
  Speaker 1: a couple days leading up to it because I know
• 14:43
  Speaker 1: the date of and crazy fact it's a beautiful fact
• 14:47
  Speaker 1: though but Autumn my daughter and Kobe share the same
• 14:50
  Speaker 1: birthday She was due August 21st. And when I was pregnant,
• 14:55
  Speaker 1: he was like, oh, no, she's coming on my birthday.
• 14:57
  Speaker 1: I was like, there ain't no way.
• 14:58
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 14:58
  Speaker 1: Because that means she's two days late. Right. And she's
• 15:00
  Speaker 1: getting evicted.
• 15:01
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 15:02
  Speaker 1: There's no way. And sure, she came when he was
• 15:07
  Speaker 1: playing in the Olympics in 2008. Oh, my gosh. So
• 15:10
  Speaker 1: while he was playing, I was pushing. Wow. Literally.
• 15:13
  Speaker 2: Wow.
• 15:13
  Speaker 1: So she was born same birthday.
• 15:15
  Speaker 4: So how is that? Having to celebrate her.
• 15:18
  Speaker 1: It's hard to navigate. I'm not going to lie.
• 15:20
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 15:21
  Speaker 1: Because you want to celebrate your child while also grieving
• 15:26
  Speaker 1: and celebrating your brother.
• 15:29
  Speaker 3: So what do you do on that day? If you're
• 15:32
  Speaker 3: able to walk us through what that day looks like,
• 15:34
  Speaker 3: is it you get up and see how you feel?
• 15:39
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I really do. But I need to make sure
• 15:41
  Speaker 1: my daughter's okay first and celebrate her. And then... If
• 15:45
  Speaker 1: it's on a day that she has school or whatever
• 15:48
  Speaker 1: that looks like, I'll go through my moment privately or
• 15:51
  Speaker 1: with my husband. You know, if I need to cry,
• 15:52
  Speaker 1: I cry. If I need to call someone, I'll call.
• 15:56
  Speaker 1: But when she's there, I want to celebrate her and
• 15:57
  Speaker 1: make sure she sees it. But I also want to
• 16:00
  Speaker 1: check in with her because they do share that special
• 16:02
  Speaker 1: day together, you know, that she's okay. Because she's like,
• 16:06
  Speaker 1: I'll always have a connection with Uncle. I was like,
• 16:08
  Speaker 1: I know. And like I said, maybe that's where she
• 16:11
  Speaker 1: gets the arts from, too. Like I said, that musical
• 16:13
  Speaker 1: theater and artsy. My brother's into storytelling and things like that.
• 16:17
  Speaker 1: I remember even when he wrote his first book, I
• 16:20
  Speaker 1: texted him. I said, listen. If you ain't got no
• 16:22
  Speaker 1: pictures in there, I ain't reading that shit. Right, okay?
• 16:26
  Speaker 1: I was like, I need some illustrations, please.
• 16:29
  Speaker 4: You need to, you know, and make sure the font
• 16:31
  Speaker 4: is big because you know I can't see.
• 16:34
  Speaker 1: I need the big letters. I know that's right. I
• 16:38
  Speaker 1: need a storybook. My attention span, I can't focus that long.
• 16:42
  Speaker 1: Isn't that cool? Isn't that crazy?
• 16:44
  Speaker 2: I feel it though.
• 16:45
  Speaker 1: I need hearts and cancers. Definitely the creative arts.
• 16:48
  Speaker 2: Yes.
• 16:49
  Speaker 1: That's their wheelhouse for sure.
• 16:51
  Speaker 4: Oh, that's great.
• 16:52
  Speaker 1: That's something.
• 16:52
  Speaker 3: Do you guys, so your mother and your sister, do
• 16:55
  Speaker 3: you guys, have you guys started new traditions together in
• 16:58
  Speaker 3: the wake of grief?
• 17:00
  Speaker 1: No, no real, we try to keep things, like you said,
• 17:04
  Speaker 1: like Thanksgiving and Christmas doing the things that we've always done.
• 17:08
  Speaker 1: Still sitting at the table having the formal, you know,
• 17:10
  Speaker 1: dinners and things like that. But, Nothing really. There's something
• 17:14
  Speaker 1: I do. Every time I walk into my mother's house,
• 17:16
  Speaker 1: I always go and greet my dad. Okay. You know,
• 17:19
  Speaker 1: always kiss.
• 17:20
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 17:20
  Speaker 1: Because when he was there, I always kissed him on
• 17:22
  Speaker 1: top of his goober head, his little ball head, little chopper.
• 17:25
  Speaker 1: Give him a kiss. Yeah. So I continue that. That's
• 17:28
  Speaker 1: something I do every time I go and when I leave,
• 17:31
  Speaker 1: when I come in, I go.
• 17:33
  Speaker 3: Yeah. Do you have advice for anyone who might be
• 17:37
  Speaker 3: watching who is experiencing grief?
• 17:41
  Speaker 1: I think. Lean into your emotions and how you're feeling.
• 17:46
  Speaker 1: Talk to someone. I mean, if it's not a therapist,
• 17:49
  Speaker 1: talk to someone. Just don't sit in it alone.
• 17:56
  Speaker 3: Were you someone who tried to run from it at
• 17:58
  Speaker 3: first or did you immediately know to go into grief counseling?
• 18:05
  Speaker 1: I didn't know what to do because it was a first.
• 18:08
  Speaker 1: It was a complete shock. Not something that I was
• 18:11
  Speaker 1: prepared for at all.
• 18:12
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 18:15
  Speaker 1: So I think it's just really learning and kind of
• 18:19
  Speaker 1: reading up or people telling you like, hey, do this.
• 18:22
  Speaker 1: This is what's good. You know, you should talk to someone.
• 18:24
  Speaker 1: And I'm like, well, how do you even go about it?
• 18:26
  Speaker 1: You know, because I never really had a therapist before.
• 18:29
  Speaker 1: But yeah, I think it's just really talking. to someone
• 18:37
  Speaker 1: or anyone.
• 18:37
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 18:40
  Speaker 3: So how has your healing journey looked like the last,
• 18:43
  Speaker 3: let's say, year?
• 18:44
  Speaker 1: Like I said, ups and downs, girl. Waves, they come
• 18:50
  Speaker 1: and they go.
• 18:52
  Speaker 2: I know.
• 18:53
  Speaker 1: Like a couple minutes ago, I was fine. And then
• 18:55
  Speaker 1: I wasn't. And I'm okay. And I'm not.
• 18:57
  Speaker 3: The beauty about it is that you're not running from it.
• 19:02
  Speaker 3: These are your emotions.
• 19:03
  Speaker 1: They're raw.
• 19:03
  Speaker 3: They're real.
• 19:04
  Speaker 1: They're human.
• 19:06
  Speaker 3: And we stand in it.
• 19:07
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 19:07
  Speaker 1: And we honor it.
• 19:08
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 19:08
  Speaker 3: Because the love is real. Yeah.
• 19:11
  Speaker 1: The love is real. And you make sure you have
• 19:13
  Speaker 1: a village. Yes. That people who you're with, who you're
• 19:16
  Speaker 1: surrounded by.
• 19:17
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 19:18
  Speaker 4: And you haven't spoken much about it at all.
• 19:20
  Speaker 1: Yeah. So what gave.
• 19:21
  Speaker 4: You the courage to finally just say something to get
• 19:28
  Speaker 4: it out?
• 19:28
  Speaker 1: You two beautiful ladies on this beautiful podcast. I think
• 19:31
  Speaker 1: you created such a beautiful space. For us to be
• 19:36
  Speaker 1: able to talk.
• 19:36
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 19:37
  Speaker 3: Because I don't.
• 19:39
  Speaker 4: That means everything.
• 19:40
  Speaker 1: Because I do not.
• 19:41
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 19:41
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 19:44
  Speaker 1: And that's why we did this. That's why we did this.
• 19:46
  Speaker 1: We're all going to be crying, girl.
• 19:48
  Speaker 4: I'm like, no I'm melting I was trying to I
• 19:50
  Speaker 4: almost made it through the whole episode I mean it
• 19:54
  Speaker 4: means a lot though like you I mean you.
• 19:56
  Speaker 1: Have to trust someone you have to have that comfortable
• 20:00
  Speaker 1: space too and you guys made it comfortable because I
• 20:02
  Speaker 1: know you even reached out we talked I think it
• 20:05
  Speaker 1: was last year maybe two years it was a while
• 20:07
  Speaker 1: ago I just wasn't ready yes Yes.
• 20:11
  Speaker 3: And you said something interesting on our one-on-one. Well, does
• 20:15
  Speaker 3: ready exist?
• 20:18
  Speaker 1: It doesn't. It doesn't. And that's life. It doesn't.
• 20:22
  Speaker 4: You'll never be ready for anything.
• 20:23
  Speaker 2: You're ready.
• 20:24
  Speaker 1: She's like, are you ready for kids? Are you ready
• 20:26
  Speaker 1: for marriage? I'm just kidding. No, seriously. But there's no manual.
• 20:30
  Speaker 1: There's no manual to any of it.
• 20:32
  Speaker 4: The only way to do it is to live through it.
• 20:33
  Speaker 1: Like, that's the only way to do it. Yeah, it is.
• 20:35
  Speaker 4: And just plow through it.
• 20:38
  Speaker 3: So, and I hope this gives you, you know, it just,
• 20:42
  Speaker 3: it lets you know that, you had courage to do
• 20:46
  Speaker 3: something that you weren't prepared for and that you were
• 20:48
  Speaker 3: never going to be ready for, you know, and you
• 20:51
  Speaker 3: did it and we're here and you navigated the conversation
• 20:55
  Speaker 3: beautifully with your raw, just, Authentic self in this.
• 21:01
  Speaker 1: And you did it. I did it. You did it.
• 21:05
  Speaker 1: You did it. And we're so proud.
• 21:07
  Speaker 3: Again, we're honored just that you decided to have the
• 21:10
  Speaker 3: conversation with us because we know that it wasn't a
• 21:14
  Speaker 3: conversation that you've had and that your family has had.
• 21:17
  Speaker 3: And so we just were grateful and... Again, we love you.
• 21:22
  Speaker 4: And I enjoyed you.
• 21:23
  Speaker 1: I mean, you are a vibe. Literally, you are such
• 21:27
  Speaker 1: a vibe.
• 21:28
  Speaker 2: I can literally hang out.
• 21:28
  Speaker 4: Just wait till I'm in.
• 21:29
  Speaker 1: Them streets, girl. Where we going? I'm like, bye-bye.
• 21:34
  Speaker 3: And I love that the viewers get to know.
• 21:37
  Speaker 4: Just an extension.
• 21:39
  Speaker 1: Of the Bryant family, right?
• 21:40
  Speaker 3: Absolutely. Because everyone knows Kobe and Jelly Bean. But there's
• 21:44
  Speaker 3: more to them.
• 21:46
  Speaker 2: You. Oh, yeah.
• 21:47
  Speaker 3: Your mother, your sister. There's more to the Bryant dynasty.
• 21:52
  Speaker 3: And so I just, I'm excited for viewers to get
• 21:55
  Speaker 3: to know Shaya.
• 21:57
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 21:57
  Speaker 3: And your personality and what you stand for and who
• 22:00
  Speaker 3: you are and just how you are navigating this chapter
• 22:04
  Speaker 3: of your life. And you are navigating it just..
• 22:08
  Speaker 2: Beautifully.
• 22:09
  Speaker 3: Beautifully and, you know, day by day. Yes.
• 22:14
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 22:15
  Speaker 3: So we'll go into legacy objects. We did ask you
• 22:18
  Speaker 3: to bring an object that represents your legacy, your family's legacy, anything.
• 22:24
  Speaker 1: Okay. You know I'm always silly, right? Girl, I'll bring it.
• 22:27
  Speaker 1: But okay. So my mom, first of all, she's... Best
• 22:30
  Speaker 1: mom ever. Oh, shout out to mama. Literally, Mama Pam.
• 22:33
  Speaker 1: We love you, Mama Pam. I'll never call Pam to
• 22:35
  Speaker 1: her face, though. Okay. Mom, listen. We all streamed up.
• 22:42
  Speaker 1: So what I brought, she's so great. So she has
• 22:45
  Speaker 1: this call. It's my book about me. So as kids,
• 22:51
  Speaker 1: we all have one of these. And we were little.
• 22:54
  Speaker 1: So I was probably, I'm not even going to say
• 22:56
  Speaker 1: the age again because it's close to those two numbers
• 22:59
  Speaker 1: that go together that I really don't. These are like
• 23:02
  Speaker 1: my drawings. This is me drawing. Oh, my goodness. So
• 23:06
  Speaker 1: it says, first of all. Can we show the camera?
• 23:08
  Speaker 2: Oh.
• 23:08
  Speaker 1: When you're flipping through. Oh, my goodness. This is me
• 23:12
  Speaker 1: drawing myself. And I'm a girl.
• 23:14
  Speaker 2: Oh, my goodness.
• 23:15
  Speaker 1: I'm a girl. I'm like. Obviously, my spelling and crossing
• 23:18
  Speaker 1: out stuff. I don't know what I was trying to
• 23:20
  Speaker 1: write there. And then it says how much I weigh.
• 23:23
  Speaker 1: First of all, 40 pounds is amazing. Not 40 pounds.
• 23:26
  Speaker 1: 40 pounds is amazing. When I was like six or five. Oh,
• 23:31
  Speaker 1: my gosh.
• 23:31
  Speaker 2: How tall am I?
• 23:32
  Speaker 1: I am four feet, 48 inches tall.
• 23:34
  Speaker 2: I know that's right.
• 23:35
  Speaker 1: She knows her numbers. I counted them. I have all together.
• 23:40
  Speaker 4: I have 24.
• 23:41
  Speaker 1: But look, that's supposed to be a seven. I have seven,
• 23:45
  Speaker 1: but it's the seven is opposite. I wrote the seven
• 23:47
  Speaker 1: the wrong way, but my mom kept it. She didn't
• 23:49
  Speaker 1: erase it. She just let me.
• 23:51
  Speaker 4: Like you said what you said.
• 23:52
  Speaker 1: I said what I said. Seven teeth.
• 23:55
  Speaker 2: What else?
• 23:55
  Speaker 1: There's some other fun stuff in here, but it's like.
• 23:58
  Speaker 1: This is so sweet. So I could always go back
• 24:01
  Speaker 1: and kind of look through stuff that I just thought
• 24:05
  Speaker 1: it was awesome.
• 24:06
  Speaker 2: It is.
• 24:06
  Speaker 1: That's my favorite color. I put all of them.
• 24:09
  Speaker 2: All of them.
• 24:09
  Speaker 1: I circled all of them. Oh, wow. Because I'm all
• 24:12
  Speaker 1: of them. But now I'll be black. I wear black
• 24:17
  Speaker 1: every day. Black is my favorite color. Black is our friend.
• 24:21
  Speaker 1: Every day. Never the enemy. I don't even know.
• 24:25
  Speaker 3: This book represents your childhood.
• 24:27
  Speaker 1: My childhood.
• 24:28
  Speaker 3: How beautiful and colorful and safe and wonderful it was.
• 24:34
  Speaker 3: Which is such a blessing. that your childhood was was
• 24:38
  Speaker 3: this and it's bright yeah because you get to pass
• 24:41
  Speaker 3: it to your children yes they have one too.
• 24:44
  Speaker 1: We found some books yeah so they do have them
• 24:46
  Speaker 1: so you may want to if not i'll look for
• 24:48
  Speaker 1: it as well for your little guy absolutely um.
• 24:51
  Speaker 3: Yeah so it's about me myself yes shout out to
• 24:54
  Speaker 3: your mom for keeping that i love those i love those.
• 24:58
  Speaker 1: She's amazing amazing mommy amazing.
• 25:01
  Speaker 3: Are you up to doing an impersonation of your dad?
• 25:05
  Speaker 1: I don't even know my dad.
• 25:09
  Speaker 2: Like Mr.
• 25:09
  Speaker 1: Jellybean. Where does he go? When he ate his jellybeans.
• 25:13
  Speaker 1: Or even a saying anything. What does he say?
• 25:15
  Speaker 2: Ssss.
• 25:20
  Speaker 1: Oh, no. He's like, oh, Shay Shay. I don't know
• 25:22
  Speaker 1: what he said. That's perfect. I don't know. Things like that.
• 25:26
  Speaker 1: I don't know. Oh, every time we went to the zoo,
• 25:28
  Speaker 1: he would always make the noise of a seal. Like, ooh,
• 25:31
  Speaker 1: I can't do it. But he does it. But he
• 25:33
  Speaker 1: sounds just like a seal. We were so impressed as kids.
• 25:35
  Speaker 1: We thought that was amazing. Because in the seal, we'll
• 25:38
  Speaker 1: talk back to my dad.
• 25:40
  Speaker 2: Yes. That's cool.
• 25:41
  Speaker 1: But he sounds just like a seal. That was pretty awesome, actually.
• 25:44
  Speaker 3: Jelly Bean had a hidden talent.
• 25:47
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 25:47
  Speaker 4: I know.
• 25:47
  Speaker 1: That's where your daughter gets it from. I guess that's
• 25:50
  Speaker 1: exactly where she got it from.
• 25:52
  Speaker 4: Oh, that's awesome.
• 25:54
  Speaker 3: So we're going to close out. But before we close,
• 25:58
  Speaker 3: what does legacy mean to you now? And what do
• 26:01
  Speaker 3: you want to be known for?
• 26:02
  Speaker 1: Okay. Let's think. Legacy. That is such a big word
• 26:08
  Speaker 1: and heavy. Yes. Yeah. I think coming from, you know,
• 26:13
  Speaker 1: my dad and then my brother, he set the bar
• 26:17
  Speaker 1: really high. So for me, I mean, legacy, it's more
• 26:23
  Speaker 1: than basketball. I want them to see my family as
• 26:27
  Speaker 1: that unconditional love and support. Because at the end of
• 26:31
  Speaker 1: the day, the sacrifices that families have to make, right,
• 26:35
  Speaker 1: for their children or spouses or whoever to be, to
• 26:38
  Speaker 1: get to where they need to be. Yeah. They have
• 26:41
  Speaker 1: to understand that love and support.
• 26:43
  Speaker 3: Yes.
• 26:44
  Speaker 1: So I just pray that people out there chasing, you know,
• 26:48
  Speaker 1: their dream, that they have that support because that means everything.
• 26:53
  Speaker 3: Beautiful.
• 26:55
  Speaker 1: And as far as me being, I don't know, silly, funny.
• 26:59
  Speaker 3: Good energy, great hugs, unicorns.
• 27:02
  Speaker 1: Sprinkles, rainbows. That's me. No, that's me.
• 27:05
  Speaker 3: All that.
• 27:06
  Speaker 4: Yes.
• 27:07
  Speaker 1: And you exude all of that.
• 27:08
  Speaker 3: That's how you are carrying on the legacy. And that's
• 27:13
  Speaker 3: how you're going to continue carrying it on.
• 27:17
  Speaker 2: Thank you.
• 27:17
  Speaker 1: It lives on forever. Thank you.
• 27:20
  Speaker 3: It lives on forever. We're so proud of you again.
• 27:21
  Speaker 3: Thank you so much.
• 27:22
  Speaker 1: Thank you for having me. It's been a pleasure. It's
• 27:25
  Speaker 1: been a pleasure.
• 27:25
  Speaker 3: We do have one more little surprise for you.
• 27:27
  Speaker 1: Just a little one. Little big surprise.
• 27:29
  Speaker 3: Just a little one.
• 27:30
  Speaker 4: Are you a surprise person?
• 27:31
  Speaker 2: Oh, no, your face.
• 27:31
  Speaker 1: No, I don't like surprises. She said, wait a minute.
• 27:33
  Speaker 1: I don't like surprises, and I don't like change. So
• 27:36
  Speaker 1: what are we doing? I didn't tell y'all I like structure.
• 27:38
  Speaker 4: It's just a little one.
• 27:39
  Speaker 1: Just a little surprise.
• 27:40
  Speaker 2: Just a bitty, bitty.
• 27:41
  Speaker 1: A little itty bitty. Just a baby one. Yeah. Oh,
• 27:45
  Speaker 1: my babies.
• 27:45
  Speaker 4: So you can push. You can push the button.
• 27:49
  Speaker 2: Hi, Mom.
• 27:50
  Speaker 1: Thank you for teaching us all that we know. For
• 27:52
  Speaker 1: being there for us all the time. And giving us
• 27:54
  Speaker 1: the motivation that we need.
• 27:55
  Speaker 3: Love you. Hi, Mom.
• 27:58
  Speaker 4: I mean, it was choreographed.
• 28:01
  Speaker 1: Girl, they got me. They took me out.
• 28:03
  Speaker 4: He's got his uncle's shirt.
• 28:04
  Speaker 1: He represents his uncle all day, every day. I buy
• 28:09
  Speaker 1: him shirts. He wears them on game days to kind
• 28:12
  Speaker 1: of motivate him and get him pumped up. Your babies.
• 28:16
  Speaker 1: Those are my babies, girl. Those are your babies.
• 28:18
  Speaker 4: Oh, I miss them.
• 28:19
  Speaker 3: So that lets you know that you're doing it right.
• 28:21
  Speaker 4: You're doing your job.
• 28:23
  Speaker 3: You're doing your job.
• 28:24
  Speaker 1: You see how beautiful your babies are?
• 28:26
  Speaker 4: And, I mean, they rehearsed this.
• 28:27
  Speaker 1: Okay. They were ready. They were ready. Well, she was
• 28:30
  Speaker 1: probably directed it. She was.
• 28:32
  Speaker 2: She was.
• 28:32
  Speaker 1: She got them in order. She sure did.
• 28:35
  Speaker 2: Okay?
• 28:35
  Speaker 1: She sure did. Thank you, guys. And mind you, that
• 28:41
  Speaker 1: is my t-shirt when I was younger. That's my New Kids.
• 28:43
  Speaker 3: On the Block t-shirt. That's my New Kids on the
• 28:48
  Speaker 3: Block t-shirt.
• 28:48
  Speaker 1: I took her to go see them, girl, the other day.
• 28:51
  Speaker 1: Because they're in Vegas. They have a residency, by the way,
• 28:54
  Speaker 1: so you guys may need to come out and see it.
• 28:56
  Speaker 4: That's cool.
• 28:57
  Speaker 1: Thank you. Look at you from behind the camera pulling
• 29:00
  Speaker 1: out tricks and stuff. Look, I'm cursing. She said surprises.
• 29:03
  Speaker 3: Uh-uh.
• 29:04
  Speaker 1: I said, hold on now.
• 29:05
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 29:05
  Speaker 1: What are we doing? Just a little, you know. No,
• 29:08
  Speaker 1: we don't do any sudden movements around here. I said,
• 29:10
  Speaker 1: hold on.
• 29:11
  Speaker 4: No sudden movements around here.
• 29:13
  Speaker 1: Yes. No surprises. No, thank you. That was a beautiful surprise.
• 29:16
  Speaker 1: Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. This was a great episode.
• 29:20
  Speaker 1: It was wonderful.
• 29:21
  Speaker 3: I really feel like viewers are going to just get
• 29:23
  Speaker 3: another dive into your family, who you are, and they're
• 29:27
  Speaker 3: going to enjoy you, Shaya.
• 29:29
  Speaker 1: You're such a light. Thank you.
• 29:31
  Speaker 3: You really are. And keep being that.
• 29:33
  Speaker 1: Thank you. Don't ever change.
• 29:35
  Speaker 3: I know day by day is going to be different,
• 29:37
  Speaker 3: but in the midst of that, I hope that your
• 29:41
  Speaker 3: light never dims So we appreciate you so much.
• 29:45
  Speaker 1: Thank you, ladies. I appreciate it. I'm going to need
• 29:48
  Speaker 1: my swag sweatshirt, though, just so we're clear. We got you, girl.
• 29:50
  Speaker 1: I said I'm going to need my sweatshirt, though.
• 29:52
  Speaker 2: I got it.
• 29:52
  Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm going to need my swag, please. She's like, yeah,
• 29:54
  Speaker 1: that's sweet. Rubbing my sweatshirt in the mail. Thank you.
• 29:57
  Speaker 1: And popcorn. No, we got you. We got the whole
• 30:00
  Speaker 1: care package. It will be coming. We have a whole
• 30:02
  Speaker 1: package coming to you.
• 30:03
  Speaker 3: I'm going to close this out.
• 30:05
  Speaker 1: We good?
• 30:05
  Speaker 4: That's good.
• 30:06
  Speaker 3: Thank you guys for joining us on this episode of
• 30:09
  Speaker 3: Born to the Game.
• 30:09
  Speaker 1: I'm your host, Mariah. I'm Tamara.
• 30:11
  Speaker 3: And we'll see you next time. Make sure to like, follow, subscribe.
• 30:14
  Speaker 4: And share.
• 30:15
  Speaker 3: Share.
• 30:16
  Speaker 2: Bye.