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In-Law Hate · Let's Ask the Mamas!

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: We got a question for American mama's. Dear mamas, why
• 0:02
  Speaker 1: don't my in laws like me? And how can I
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: change their mind?
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  Speaker 2: Well, let's ask our American mamas.
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: And joining is now our American mama's Terry Needeville and
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  Speaker 1: Kimberly Burleson. I didn't never really have this problem. We
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: just we never hung around that well. I mean, Wendy's
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  Speaker 1: mom passed away before we were back in high school,
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  Speaker 1: and she liked me a lot, and then her other
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: side of the family we just never dealt with so
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  Speaker 1: and my parents adore Wendy and and have for a
• 0:45
  Speaker 1: very long time. But I understand that's not very common,
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  Speaker 1: Like there's there's a lot of in law strife.
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  Speaker 3: Yes, is very I did not have that. I was
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  Speaker 3: not adored, you know. But I have to tell you
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  Speaker 3: I had a video go viral role on TikTok okay
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  Speaker 3: fourteen point two million views, almost two million likes and
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  Speaker 3: seven thousand comments. Wow. And it was a video I
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  Speaker 3: posted of my daughter in law's birthdays, just her dancing
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  Speaker 3: to dancing Queen Okay, and my caption was the love
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  Speaker 3: of my son's life is also the one of the
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  Speaker 3: loves of our life, and then I went into all
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  Speaker 3: the things I love about her. Ninety nine percent of
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  Speaker 3: the comments were people saying I'd give anything if my
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  Speaker 3: in laws would love me. I'd give anything, if they
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  Speaker 3: just even talk to me, I'd give any like ninety
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  Speaker 3: nine percent of them. Wow, And it broke my heart,
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  Speaker 3: and I thought, man, we got a real problem here
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  Speaker 3: with an in law situation. But that's why it's a
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  Speaker 3: running joke, you know about the in laws. But Terry
• 1:45
  Speaker 3: and I've been talking a lot about it because we
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  Speaker 3: were like, you know, there's a there's a real thing
• 1:49
  Speaker 3: to learn as in laws, but also as kids married
• 1:53
  Speaker 3: to the spouse. And so to me directing it right now,
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  Speaker 3: just two parents in laws, You are not entitled to
• 2:02
  Speaker 3: time with your kids. It is a privilege to be
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  Speaker 3: with your kids, not your entitlement, and I think too
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  Speaker 3: often parents believe it's their right.
• 2:13
  Speaker 1: You know, there's a pastor that I follow on social media.
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  Speaker 1: I believe his name is Mark Driscoll, and he talks
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  Speaker 1: about this about how part of your job as adult
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  Speaker 1: as parents is not to raise kids, but to raise adults.
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  Speaker 1: And that means that once you've raised adults and they
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  Speaker 1: decide to go off they leave, so they can cleave
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  Speaker 1: right once they leave. That's a new family unit, and
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  Speaker 1: you have to respect that new family unit. That my house,
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  Speaker 1: my rules thing your kids. That becomes their house exactly,
• 2:43
  Speaker 1: and you have to respect that authority that they now have.
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  Speaker 1: And so it's not a matter of well, you know,
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  Speaker 1: you have to conform to my rules. They've created a
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  Speaker 1: new house as the as the older generation, you actually
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  Speaker 1: have to need to conform to theirs.
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  Speaker 3: You have to respect that right, you have to respect that.
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  Speaker 4: Okay, here's my advice. Okay, this is my advice. This
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  Speaker 4: this advice is going out to mom's of boys. Okay,
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  Speaker 4: so when your sons get married, let me just impress
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  Speaker 4: upon you how important this. I'm very lucky because I'm
• 3:15
  Speaker 4: so close to my daughter in law, so close. She's
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  Speaker 4: like a daughter to me.
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  Speaker 1: And she's adorable, she's adorable.
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  Speaker 4: She's easy, and I'm very, very, very lucky. And she's
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  Speaker 4: the one that brought this up last year. She said,
• 3:26
  Speaker 4: you know, what we have is actually rare because from
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  Speaker 4: what I understand with my friends, it's not like that,
• 3:32
  Speaker 4: like they don't like their mother in laws, and you know,
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  Speaker 4: this is the reasons why. And so my advice to
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  Speaker 4: the moms of sons. The daughter is going to be
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  Speaker 4: the gateway to seeing your grandchildren. Amen, you're the wife.
• 3:44
  Speaker 4: You know you know that you are. Also when you
• 3:47
  Speaker 4: and your husband got married, if you want to see
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  Speaker 4: the in laws, it was, it's going to be you.
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  Speaker 3: You had basically the extra say.
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  Speaker 4: So, my advice is, even if you find fault with
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  Speaker 4: your daughter in law or if you think, God, she's
• 3:59
  Speaker 4: not what I really wanted, you better fake it. You
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  Speaker 4: better act like you love her more than anything and
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  Speaker 4: make sure that she feels comfortable with you, feels loved
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  Speaker 4: by you. Look for the good things. Because your son
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  Speaker 4: like and I raise both of my boys, your wife
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  Speaker 4: will come first. She will be before me. So these
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  Speaker 4: these moms that say I better be number one, she
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  Speaker 4: better know it. No, you raise them to make sure
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  Speaker 4: that their wife is the number one woman in their life.
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  Speaker 4: And you it has to be you respect that, you love, that,
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  Speaker 4: you honor that, you embrace that. And then you also,
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  Speaker 4: you know, lift up your son with it and say
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  Speaker 4: I'm so proud of the way that you put her first.
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  Speaker 4: You are the kind of husband she deserves. Exactly, I
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  Speaker 4: am telling you your daughter in law will love you,
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  Speaker 4: your son will feel comfortable to come to you for anything,
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  Speaker 4: and you will have a relationship that is so valuable,
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  Speaker 4: so precious.
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  Speaker 1: You know, that's a pretty good point because we think
• 5:01
  Speaker 1: a lot of time about girls growing up. You think
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  Speaker 1: what kind of a husband do I want? I want
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  Speaker 1: this kind of guy to be the husband guys, and
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  Speaker 1: what kind of a I want this wife to be.
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  Speaker 1: We don't often think about what do I need to
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  Speaker 1: be to attract that person?
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  Speaker 2: Right?
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  Speaker 1: What do I need to be to get the type
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  Speaker 1: of husband that I want to be the type of
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  Speaker 1: wife that I want? Same thing as parents, we want
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  Speaker 1: a type of spouse for our kids. Well what do
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  Speaker 1: we need to be as parents as in laws for
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  Speaker 1: them to make that easier?
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  Speaker 4: Because in the end, you win if you do these
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  Speaker 4: things to make sure that you ingratiate yourself with this
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  Speaker 4: this person, you win in the end. If you don't,
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  Speaker 4: if you find fault and you bring up the negatives
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  Speaker 4: to your son, or you're going to lose.
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  Speaker 3: You will lose everything.
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  Speaker 4: Somebody in mind. And it breaks my heart because I
• 5:51
  Speaker 4: tried to tell her you're going to lose, because Steele
• 5:55
  Speaker 4: would drop me like a standbag if I dishonored his
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  Speaker 4: wife and made her feel terrible.
• 6:00
  Speaker 3: Exactly.
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  Speaker 4: Just please, you love the spouse, that your that your
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  Speaker 4: child brings in as if they are your own, and
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  Speaker 4: you will win in the end.
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  Speaker 1: If you like to ask our American Mama is a
• 6:10
  Speaker 1: question good. Our website American ground Radio dot com slash
• 6:12
  Speaker 1: mamas and click on the ask the Moments button turned
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  Speaker 1: out a Bookiller brothers, and thank you so much, Thank you,