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Getting Unstuck And Off Your “Yeah-Butt” · The D Shift

• 0:05
  Mardi Winder-Adams: Welcome to the D ship podcast, where we provide inspiration, motivation and education to help you transition from the challenges of divorce to discover the freedom and ability to live life on your own terms. Are you ready? Let's get the shift started. Hi, and welcome to another episode of the day shift podcast. And today, I am really excited to talk with Sue Wilhite and Sue have run into each other in so many different events over the last year, it's just one of those things when when you see the same person several times on internet events, I think you're supposed to be connected in some way, shape or form. So Sue is an international best selling author. She's a law of attraction coach, and she's also something else that I really want to know about. And that is a certified biofield tuning practitioner. So I'm dying to find out about that. So Sue, welcome to the D Shift.
• 0:59
  Sue Wilhite: Oh, thank you so much party. This is so cool. I have been looking forward to this. And yet, when the reminder came up, I was startling. Oh my god, it's September. To do this?
• 1:15
  Mardi Winder-Adams: Well, we're really excited. And so I want to jump right in because I want to use our time. Because you have a lot of scope and field in this area. Something that a lot of women, I think, Well, I'm not gonna say a lot. I'm gonna say every woman that I know that goes through divorces dealing with the stuff that you work with. So tell us a little bit about yourself, Sue, what, what got you into this area and where your passion is with this?
• 1:41
  Sue Wilhite: Yeah, so the first thing I'll say is, Hello, my name is Sue. And I've been divorced. We'll just get that out of the way right away to the clubs. I left my husband, my and that was a whole trauma in and of itself. I'm not going to tell the whole story here. But it wasn't that he was abusing me or anything. But it was a very weird thing. When I told him I was leaving. Weird stuff happened. And, and had to go through a bunch of self esteem stuff. For me to really get a hold of wow, I thought this was a forever thing. I thought I was making a promise. I thought that this was the guy I had followed him up and down California to be with him. And then it didn't work out. It was it was so clear that he wasn't the right person. And I did a ton of self help personal development. The whole nine yards, okay. And after decades of exploring things, and making, you know, discoveries about myself and checking out all of these different modalities that are out there. The law of attraction was one of the first things that made sense to me. And it was because apparently, I've been using it all my life without really knowing a lot
• 3:09
  Mardi Winder-Adams: of people have been you know, and then the secret came out and everybody went, Oh, this is a thing.
• 3:16
  Sue Wilhite: There's a methodology to this. Oh my goodness. Just just as a small example, when I was I had decided that I was going to be a veterinarian when I grew up. And I was absolutely 100% blinkered, I was going to go to UC Davis. And I was going to be a veterinarian, and there was no other way
• 3:40
  Mardi Winder-Adams: to tie me out here. And I'm sorry to interrupt you, but I'm going to tell you this, I actually have a degree in animal science, a Bachelor of Science in Animal Science, because I was going to be a veterinarian too, which obviously didn't happen for me either. So go right ahead. Sorry.
• 3:53
  Sue Wilhite: Yeah. So. So my high school I had a very solid 3.0 grade point average. And a I won't call it a abysmal because it wasn't abysmal, but it was certainly not great. LSAT score college application test score of 1150 was not enough to get you into any college whatsoever. And UC Davis accepted me. Wow. And to this day, I am absolutely convinced it was because I had a pure absolute 100% There was no other option. I am going to use this. Things changed after that. But that was you know that that was one of my very clear ideas. Oh yeah, I guess I was using the law of attraction. I guess that really does work. Yeah, you get really clear on it. So and I you know I did Use the law of attraction to get my husband. It. And this is the thing that I tell people about the law of attraction just because you passionately want it doesn't mean it's the right path for you.
• 5:14
  Mardi Winder-Adams: That's the key, right? Yeah, right there.
• 5:17
  Sue Wilhite: So there's the there's the interesting thing about the law of attraction, the dirty little secret that nobody talks about in the secret. Yeah, you can get exactly what you wanted. But I explored all of the different modalities. I was Hypnotherapist. I'm a Reiki Master, I studied Reiki, the old fashioned way, over a lot of months, over several years, before I got my master. This was not what I call the pate to flog raw, right? Reiki Master, where you get it all in a weekend. And I practiced that for a while, I discovered Emotional Freedom Technique or tapping, which I thought was absolutely great. It helped people get out of pain. It was, it was amazing. And then, in 2014, to 2013, I met a man I saw a lecture by a man named John W, who does sound healing with tuning forks. And he started this back in the 70s. And really was one of the major players, one of the major people in starting sound as a healing modality. And I got started with his tuning forks. And really, that just opened up a whole world about how sound affects the body, how sound affects your mind, and how sound affects your emotions. And then about a year or so later, I met Eileen McKusick, who is the creator or the discoverer. However, she put it of the technique called biofield tuning, okay. And the thing with biofield tuning is it combines well actually, it doesn't really combine anything, it just uses physics in a really interesting way, in a in a scientifically validated way. So here's where we're gonna go into a little bit of physiology and a little bit of physics. So, so bear with me, this is pretty easy. I explain this stuff all the time.
• 7:37
  Mardi Winder-Adams: Okay. So I'm sure it's not my thing. So go ahead,
• 7:41
  Sue Wilhite: literally, right. So your brain, your heart, and your gut. Project, an electromagnetic field around your body. So far, so good. So good. Yeah. So your brain, your brain, in fact, does is just an electromagnetic, electro chemical factory, right up here it is, yes. Zorch. And all the time to Ting Ting Ting, ting, ting, and your thoughts literally, are electromagnetic sparks that are that are going off in your brain. And your heart is responding to some of that and putting out its own electromagnetic frequency. And your gut is putting out its own much, much lower electromagnetic frequency, and it makes up what the National Institutes of Health has defined as the bio field. Okay. Okay. It's the electromagnetic field, it goes 360 degrees around your body, they have mapped it. There's pictures of it, you could do this. It takes in a little bit of your head, and it tucks in a little bit at your feet. So it looks like a giant Apple. Okay, around your body. Okay, so far, so good. We're good. All right. This is the easy part. And actually, the next part is pretty easy, too. Because, remember, I said your brain and your thoughts are just electromagnetic impulses that are doing this, right? Well, it turns out that those electromagnetic impulses are stored in the field. Okay, so thoughts and feelings that are strongly held and done over and over again, are stored in the field. Just like, it's like, you know, one of these little USB doohickeys dongles, right, you know, it's, you know, this can contain, I don't know, 50 Meg, or 50 gig or something like that, right? It's just, it's just out there. Now, here's the deal because this is where the storage is. Where your brain Is is kind of an index and a reference device, it keeps some things, but the vast majority of things are kept out here. And it's mostly the, as I said, the strongly held or repetitive thoughts, feelings, and beliefs, which is just a thought with a lot of feeling, right. Are are out here in the field. Okay. Okay. Which means that you have to, you have to do a lot more electromagnetic work to change the stuff that's stored in the field. Makes. Yeah, affirmations. You've heard of affirmations? Right? You make positive statements of things that you want to be true. Yeah. You have to do affirmations for what's the number that you know, Marty?
• 10:56
  Mardi Winder-Adams: Like, forever?
• 10:59
  Sue Wilhite: 21 days? Yeah. 21 days, 30 days. 60.
• 11:05
  Mardi Winder-Adams: People say 60 days? Yeah, it's
• 11:07
  Sue Wilhite: because it takes a lot of work to overwrite that storage, because these are the strongly held ones, right. So if you're looking at your mirror, and you're going, I'm strong. I'm powerful. I'm good. Everybody loves me. Your field is rocking back going. Nope. Wait a minute. Oh. So you've got to keep strongly holding them in order to overwrite the stuff in the field. Okay. It works. It absolutely works. I'm a huge fan of Louise Hay. Absolutely. affirmations. Spin time. Yeah, great stuff, do it. I'm lazy. I don't want to do that work.
• 12:01
  Mardi Winder-Adams: It is a lot.
• 12:03
  Sue Wilhite: It's a lot. Yeah. Right. And you have to fight yourself. And if anybody overhears you, they also laugh at you. So you got to deal with that. Right? Right. So what biofield tuning does is it uses the power of sound to break up and release those strongly held thoughts and feelings in the field. So that you can have better ones to replace them.
• 12:33
  Mardi Winder-Adams: Gotcha. So it kind of like wipes your hard drive and let you rewrite over the top. Exactly. Love it.
• 12:40
  Sue Wilhite: Right. Yeah. It's, it's astonishing. The things that happen when you get rid of the underlying programming that's in there. And it's, you know, I showed you the little, you know, USB dongle, it's like somebody installed the virus, and you just pulled out the dongle that had it. Right. Yeah. Yeah. not there anymore. And what's really cool, just like I liked your metaphor of, you know, cleaning up the hard drive, you know, a space for something else. Yes. Yeah, no have energy that can be put somewhere other than this repetitive thought that sitting there challenging your base knowledge of yourself as a wonderful, dynamic, powerful human being.
• 13:42
  Mardi Winder-Adams: I love this idea, because a lot of the people that are listening are people going through divorce women in particular. And I think we have that. We've had other guests come on and talk about divorce, guilt, betrayal, trauma, those kinds of things. So I can just see that this would be an exercise to get rid of that fear, guilt, stress, and all that negative baggage from all the things that didn't go well in the relationship. So how do you see this all translated to handling those kinds of things? So I know that something that you focusing on particularly is the fear part, right? Isn't that good?
• 14:24
  Sue Wilhite: Or your your niche area? Yes, yes. So So fear, there's two kinds of fear. Okay. Fear Fear is, as they say, and doom fear is the mind killer. Right? Literally, literally, it shuts down huge portions of your brain and turns on other ones that are really good at helping you survive a saber toothed Tiger. Yeah. Not a whole hell of a lot else. Right. Yeah.
• 14:53
  Mardi Winder-Adams: We talked about those with Richard Morton. I think the fight flight freeze and fawn They're saying there's four of them now that
• 15:01
  Sue Wilhite: oh my god, what was the fourth one?
• 15:03
  Mardi Winder-Adams: Fun where people actually in, in emotionally abusive relationships will automatically try to make it better? Like, whatever. Yeah,
• 15:14
  Sue Wilhite: yeah. Yeah. So. So big F fear is actually really useful is what I call it Big F fear is really useful if there's a bus, you know, bearing down on you, if you know kids about to step out and traffic. You know, those are really useful it absolutely. You know, it gives mothers the adrenaline to pull cars off of your children. Absolutely. 100%. What's useful? Don't get rid of it. It's great. Yeah. What I call the little f fear. Is the stuff that you're making up in your head. Yeah. Right. It's, it's, some of it is called catastrophic thinking. Because you're making up scenarios that are fear inducing, anxiety producing, and not very useful. Right? Because you go over them and over them, and over them and over them and over them and over the it's really useful to have catastrophic thinking to go ha, yeah, maybe I ought to get a ladder for that second story window. In case I need to escape. Well, then go right. No, go by the ladder. You're done. But if you sit there every night going, Oh, my God, I will never get on. I would know. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. All the time. Yeah. Not useful. Yeah. Not not a good use of that energy. Yeah. And so particularly for women who are going through divorce, catastrophic thinking just takes over. Just takes over.
• 16:53
  Mardi Winder-Adams: You are so right. And I think one of the big areas of it, and I know we don't want to go down the financial rope, but a lot of it is I can't make it on my own. That's the big fear, right? The I got no, I've got no skills. All I've been is a mom. And I'm like, What the heck are you talking about? If you've been a mom, you've done you? Box, but what you Right, absolutely. So. So how do you how do you help people learn how to discern between the big F fear and the little f fear? Because I'm thinking a lot of people are struggling. If they're in the little f fear cycle, they may think it is the big fear. Right?
• 17:30
  Sue Wilhite: Right. Right. Big affair is useful if the thing threatening you is right here, right? That's the dividing line. If it's right here, or if it's standing outside of your door, you know, yeah, then then if it's a real immediate, like right now, then it's a big affair. Do something. Yeah. But if you're lying in bed at night, or you're driving, or you're sitting there at work not getting work done, or you're washing dishes, and keep dropping the glasses. Yeah. That's a little of fear, because it's all in your head. Okay. Okay,
• 18:08
  Mardi Winder-Adams: that's a really good, that's a good key way to determine whether that is, which, which kind of fear you're dealing with.
• 18:14
  Sue Wilhite: Yes, if it's not right in front of you right now, something that you have to deal with, then it's a little affair. And there's specific strategies to take care of that. And it's, it's one of the things that I talk about all the time, and I give away. You know, if I haven't already given it away to somebody as a client, you know, I give it to them in my my client sessions, because that's one of the things that we want to, we want to go over in in coaching is okay, let's find out what these little fears are. And let's see if we can't get rid of them. Yeah. And sometimes you you find
• 18:54
  Mardi Winder-Adams: having people just actually sit down and label that fear. And then evaluate it. And okay, is this something I'm, am I coulda woulda shooting? Or am I what iffing? Or what am I doing about this? And I we probably approach this from a different angle, so I'm not sure. But don't you find that a lot of times, even just having people acknowledge those fears are there helps to sort of get them out of that catastrophic level down to okay, this is something I need to worry about. But I mean, everybody has to worry about their finances, but I don't have to lay awake at night losing sleep about what's going to happen five years from now what potentially could happen.
• 19:37
  Sue Wilhite: Right? Yeah, so So I do. I am going to do it a little bit early. This is part of the giveaway that that I'm doing. But I have a five step process. And the first step is letting your brain go off as much as it wants to and label every single thing that can go wrong. You're just you just sit there and write. And preferably writing with your hands
• 20:08
  Mardi Winder-Adams: not typing did not type in
• 20:11
  Sue Wilhite: typing is okay, if that's the only thing that you can do. And if it really, if that's the way that you can think, go for it, I'd rather get out of your head. But writing it is like 10 times more powerful. And it really serves to tell your brain that you really gotten rid of it. Okay, but but that's the first thing you do, and you spend, I don't know, 30 minutes, just go in what could possibly go wrong, okay. And you just you just give your brain permission to go to town, and think of everything that you can. Everything, everything that could go wrong. So So you start with a question? What if I got divorced? For instance? Sure. And excuse me, you write down everything. And anything, it might take more than 30 minutes? For a big question like that. But you know, you you let your brain go. Because as soon as you have exhausted that part of your brain, your brain goes. done my job. Yeah. I let you know, what crap was going to hit the fan? Yeah. I let you know, everything that can possibly go wrong. Now it's your turn. Take off, take over. And that's the other four steps.
• 21:44
  Mardi Winder-Adams: Yeah. And, and just to let people know, Sue has provided that and thank you so much for that, that free giveaway. And so that will be in the show notes, because it's definitely something you're going to want to pick up and take a look at, and see if you can't use it to help yourself. So it's a really great, great tool. Thank you, Sue.
• 22:03
  Sue Wilhite: Yeah, yeah. And I love it. I absolutely love it. Now, as far as where does biofield tuning come into this? Sometimes? There are things that you don't know you don't know. Sure. Right. Right. It's it's unconscious incompetence. You don't know what you don't know. Right. And part of the reason you don't know it is from these little things that have gotten into your field. At an early age, sometimes birth some time, you know, zero to seven. Nish, yeah. 567, depending on the trial, zero to 567 is what a lot of stuff gets loaded. Sure. Yeah. Right. And, for instance, I was just working with a client, who, as I was doing the biofield tuning i was i We start at birth. And it's kind of like the rings on a tree, the farthest out is your oldest experience. And, and just in birth, I was going wow, there's some really funky energy in here. And it turns out that my client had been had a breech presentation. And for all of you people who've had breech birth, yeah. And my client nearly died. Mom nearly died. It was it was a terrible, terrible situation on it. Yeah. It was in imprinted. I can't get out. I can't move forward. I'm doing things wrong. Fear panic of being stuck. Sure. All in that 12 hour birth experience.
• 24:06
  Mardi Winder-Adams: That experience Yeah,
• 24:08
  Sue Wilhite: that's energy that's stuck in the field. We clear that my client called me up nearly every day now going, Wow, all of these things are just like, they're just presenting themselves moving forward. And so do you know what happened to
• 24:28
  Mardi Winder-Adams: me really excited? So so I you know what, I think that this is this is a fantastic concept. And I think it's an it's an amazing tool for people to kind of delve into a little bit more and unfortunately, we're almost at a time so I would love love, love. Maybe Sue. You know, we can take a look at having you come back and talking a little bit more about the specifics of your your the biofield tuning. But I think you've given some really effective strategies here for people to use and people to think about, like, what, you know, out there in that field this, because I'm sure some people might be able to identify some of those things themselves, right, those pervasive thoughts.
• 25:18
  Sue Wilhite: Right, right. Right. And affirmations are, are a great thing. You're dealing with that. I mean, I, like I said, I'm a huge fan of Louise Hay. It takes a while. Yeah, absolutely. And I'm one of those people that likes to get out of pain really fast. Not everybody is that way?
• 25:42
  Mardi Winder-Adams: Exactly. So we've covered a ton of ground here. So what do you think would be the one thing that you'd like people to walk out of this podcast wherever they may be? And go? I'm going to make sure I remember that point.
• 25:54
  Sue Wilhite: Yeah, so I want to do a quote from Seneca the younger, okay, which is all about this whole fear thing. And I have it, I have it on a little three by five card, because that sits right up here. Because it's so important. And it has to do with that big F little f thing. And it's we suffer more often in imagination than in reality.
• 26:25
  Mardi Winder-Adams: Love that. What a powerful, what a powerful thing to just keep in our minds. Love that. Sue, thank you so much for sharing your insight and expertise. And thank you for the giveaway that is going to be a phenomenal resource for people again, it's five. It's a guide to how to overcome fear and five steps. I don't have the exact title, but I think I'm reversing the title. But it's in. It's in
• 26:53
  Sue Wilhite: your gone five steps.
• 26:55
  Mardi Winder-Adams: There you go. So do make sure you pick that up on even if you're even if you're thinking well, I don't need it. You might know somebody who does need it and and Sue is so accommodate you share with us. So thank you so much. And we are definitely going to have to talk again and get you back on here soon.
• 27:12
  Sue Wilhite: Love to this has been fun. Thank you.
• 27:15
  Mardi Winder-Adams: Thank you and thanks again for listening to the D sharp we look forward to hearing and seeing you next week. Bye bye. Thanks for listening and supporting the gay shift podcast. If you would like to attend live trainings by our amazing guests and have a chance to ask questions and get answers from our experts. Join the D Shift crew. For more details and to sign up, head on over to www dot divorce coach for women and click on the podcast page.