Latest / Women at Work: Career, Leadership & Modern Work / How the Networking Double Standard Hurts Women Leaders
Transcript
- Lucas: Luna, I was looking at a Harvard Business School study from last year, and one number jumped out: women who proactively network get performance ratings about 30 percent lower than men who do the same amount of networking. Luna: Wait, 30 percent lower? That's not a small gap. That's like, actively penalizing women for doing the exact same thing men get rewarded for. Lucas: Exactly. And the study controlled for seniority, industry, hours worked — it's not about women networking less or differently. It's about how the exact same behavior is interpreted based on gender. Luna: So what's the narrative here? Is it the classic 'she's schmoozing, he's building relationships' thing? Lucas: That's exactly it. The researchers called it a 'warmth-competence trade-off.' When a man networks, observers see ambition, strategic intent — competence. When a woman does it, observers see self-promotion, inauthenticity — and that perception costs her warmth points. Luna: And since women are expected to be warm and communal, losing warmth is a bigger hit to their overall evaluation. Lucas: Right. And this is not a new idea, but the study quantified it in a really concrete way. They ran experiments with actual managers evaluating hypothetical employees — same networking behavior, different names — and the ratings gap showed up consistently. Luna: You know, it reminds me of that research on women negotiating salary — when a woman negotiates, she's seen as 'difficult,' but a man is 'smart.' This feels like the networking version of that double bind. Lucas: It is. And the implications are huge because networking is one of the most powerful predictors of career advancement. A 30 percent performance rating penalty means fewer promotions, less access to sponsors, slower growth — it compounds. Luna: Before we go deeper — and I know this is a bit of a pivot — but we get messages from listeners saying this show helps them think through exactly these kinds of career barriers. And it's completely ad-free, which we're proud of, but it also means listener support is what keeps it going. Lucas: Yeah, it's true. A couple of dollars a month genuinely makes a difference — it covers hosting, research, the little things. If this show has helped you navigate a career decision or even just feel less alone in a weird workplace moment, think about throwing a few bucks our way at buy me a coffee dot com slash fexingo. Luna: It's small amounts, real impact. And now back to the networking double standard — because I want to talk about what women can actually do about it. Lucas: Sure. So one of the study's findings is that the penalty is strongest for solo networking — when a woman goes to an event alone, works the room, hands out business cards. That's when the 'schmoozer' label kicks in. Luna: So is the answer to never network alone? Like, always bring a buddy? Lucas: Interestingly, the data suggests yes. When a woman networks with a colleague — especially a male colleague — the warmth penalty drops significantly. It's like the presence of another person reframes the activity: you're not self-promoting, you're part of a team, you're building relationships together. Luna: That's actually a really practical takeaway. But it also puts the burden on women to manage perception, which is exhausting. Lucas: It is. And the study's authors are clear: the real solution is organizational. Companies need to train managers to recognize this bias in performance evaluations. If networking is considered a positive behavior, it should be evaluated the same way regardless of gender. Luna: Right, but while we're waiting for that training to happen, what else can women do? Are there other tactics that work? Lucas: One thing the research suggests is framing networking as 'information gathering' or 'learning' rather than 'meeting people.' So instead of saying 'I'm going to the conference to network,' say 'I'm going to learn about trends in our industry.' That shifts the perception from self-promotion to professional development. Luna: That's subtle but smart. So it's about controlling the narrative around why you're doing it. Lucas: Exactly. And there's another tactic: be the one who introduces others. If you're at an event and you introduce two colleagues, you're seen as a connector — someone who builds community, not someone who's just working the room. Luna: That's interesting. So it's about shifting from 'I need something' to 'I can give something.' That feels more authentic too, honestly. Lucas: It does. And it aligns with research on how women are often more comfortable networking when it's framed as helping others. That's not a weakness — it's a different entry point. Luna: Okay, but what about managers? If I'm a manager listening, what should I be doing differently to make sure I'm not penalizing women for networking? Lucas: Great question. First, look at your own performance ratings. Do the women on your team who network a lot get lower ratings than the men? If you don't know, that's a red flag. Luna: So basically, run the numbers. Lucas: Run the numbers. Second, when you see a woman networking, actively note it as a positive — mention it in her review. Counteract the bias by being explicit about the behavior you value. Luna: And third, design networking events that aren't just 'stand around with a drink.' Some women may feel more comfortable in structured settings — like roundtables or workshops — where there's a clear purpose. Lucas: Yes. And the research backs that: when networking is part of a structured program, the gender gap in outcomes narrows. It's not about forcing anyone into a mold, it's about creating multiple on-ramps. Luna: You know, one thing I wonder: is this double standard worse in certain industries? Like, is it a bigger issue in finance or tech than in, say, education or healthcare? Lucas: The study didn't break it down by industry, but other research suggests the penalty is worse in male-dominated fields where networking is seen as a 'bro' activity. In female-dominated fields, the norms might be different — but women still face a warmth-competence trade-off. Luna: So it's not just about the numbers, it's about the culture. And changing culture takes time. Lucas: It does. But the first step is awareness. If you're a woman listening and you've felt that weird tension — like you're being judged for doing what everyone else does — it's not in your head. It's a documented bias. Luna: And if you're a manager, you have the power to change that. Check your evaluations, design better events, and call out the bias when you see it. Lucas: One last thing: the study also found that women who network with other women face less of a penalty. So building a network of women — whether inside your company or across the industry — can be a buffer. Luna: That's a hopeful note. Because we know women already tend to have strong peer networks — it's the access to senior sponsors that's the gap. But if networking with other women is seen as less threatening, that's a place to start. Lucas: Exactly. And it's not about avoiding networking with men — it's about being strategic. Bring a colleague, frame it as learning, and focus on being a connector. Those are all ways to work the room without triggering the warmth penalty. Luna: So the system is biased, but there are workarounds — and meanwhile, we push for the system to change. Lucas: That's the balance. And maybe the next study will show that when organizations actively address this bias, the 30 percent gap shrinks. We'll be watching. Luna: And we'll keep talking about it. Thanks for being here, everyone.