Latest / Dear Chelsea / A Doggy-Dog World with Samantha Bee

Transcript

A Doggy-Dog World with Samantha Bee · Dear Chelsea

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Okay, happy hello everybody. I would like to say Happy St.
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: Patrick's Day. Hi, Happy St. Patty's Day. The most important
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: holiday of the year, and I think that we should
• 0:11
  Speaker 1: all start out by well, I guess saying Happy St.
• 0:15
  Speaker 1: Patrick's Day to each other, right, Yes, I guess it's
• 0:17
  Speaker 1: the least offensive holiday of the year. I mean, I
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: don't know, it's I'm from Chicago, so there's a lot
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: going on on St. Patty's Day. Usually there it's there
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: was dying the river green. There's all kinds of just
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: white girls drunk from the suburbs all over. It's it's
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: a lot. It's a lot dyeing the river green. Is
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: that possible? They really do it. I always thought it
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: was just like a euphemism when I was growing up,
• 0:44
  Speaker 1: But then when I moved to the city, like later
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: on into Chicago, they like fully put die into the
• 0:51
  Speaker 1: river and diet like it's kind of always a little green,
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: but they diet bright green. Supposedly it doesn't kill all
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: the fish. But you know, yeah, that sounds very suspect. Well,
• 1:03
  Speaker 1: hopefully you're all wearing green today because it is St.
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: Patty's Day. But if you need something to wear, you
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: might check out our merch. Yeah, everybody. We have new merch.
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: We have Dear Chelsea merch which you can order on
• 1:14
  Speaker 1: my website Chelsea handler dot com. And we have cute
• 1:16
  Speaker 1: t shirts and cute hats and yeah, go and get some.
• 1:22
  Speaker 1: We have added some second shows in areas. I'm filming
• 1:26
  Speaker 1: my next stand up special at the Rymann in Nashville,
• 1:29
  Speaker 1: so tickets are now on sale for that, and we've
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: added second shows in d C. And at the Wiltern
• 1:35
  Speaker 1: in Los Angeles and oh, San Francisco. Yeah, we're adding
• 1:39
  Speaker 1: a second show in San Francisco at the Masonic and
• 1:42
  Speaker 1: that weekend I perform at the Masonic two shows and
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: then Joe Koi performs the next night and the next
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: night and at some arena in San Francisco. So we're
• 1:52
  Speaker 1: gonna be both performing in the same city the same weekend.
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: So how fun, Oh my goodness, just bull descending on
• 2:00
  Speaker 1: a city and just doing wonderful thing, descending on our
• 2:04
  Speaker 1: hot air balloon. That's how we like to enter cities.
• 2:08
  Speaker 1: That's really fun. That's really fun. So are you making
• 2:11
  Speaker 1: a point to sort of try and tour together so
• 2:14
  Speaker 1: you can actually see each other or how does that
• 2:17
  Speaker 1: work in your life. Yeah, I mean I think thee
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: well his tours, and his tour kind of wraps itself
• 2:22
  Speaker 1: up in April and then because he's shooting his special,
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: so then he's done. And then I think he'll probably
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: just come on the road with me, like as a
• 2:28
  Speaker 1: plus one. And then you know, obviously we're gonna want
• 2:32
  Speaker 1: to He'll, you know, come and make surprise guest appearances.
• 2:35
  Speaker 1: That's my shows and like I like to do when
• 2:38
  Speaker 1: I'm with him. But I think, yeah, we want to
• 2:40
  Speaker 1: work towards a thing where we're going to be performing
• 2:43
  Speaker 1: together so that the next tour we're in it together,
• 2:46
  Speaker 1: you know, So we'll have to figure out our Lucy
• 2:48
  Speaker 1: and DESI act. But I don't think it'll be a problem. No.
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: I mean you seem to get along very well and
• 2:55
  Speaker 1: like people are psyched to see you both together. It's
• 2:58
  Speaker 1: just really fun. Well, I know Joe is not with you,
• 3:01
  Speaker 1: but I hear somebody's going to be with you soon. Oh.
• 3:04
  Speaker 1: I am taking my dogs alone to Whistler. I just
• 3:08
  Speaker 1: I don't want to be away from them any longer.
• 3:11
  Speaker 1: And I wasn't so great at taking them out to
• 3:13
  Speaker 1: go to the bathroom last year, Like I put these
• 3:15
  Speaker 1: p pads on my balcony and I would just leave
• 3:17
  Speaker 1: the door open and by the time I came home,
• 3:19
  Speaker 1: there would just be like pe pads on my balcony
• 3:21
  Speaker 1: filled with urine, and I was like, oh my god,
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: I'm turning into courtly love. But now Joe, coming back
• 3:27
  Speaker 1: and forth, I'm feeling like he's going to contribute a
• 3:29
  Speaker 1: little bit more. He's more of the get up and
• 3:32
  Speaker 1: take the dogs for a walk kind of guy than
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: I am. So I'm just kind of pawning that off
• 3:36
  Speaker 1: on him and using him like a bitch is basically
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: what I'm doing. I'm like, you know what, Joe, you
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: can take care of the dogs because he is their
• 3:45
  Speaker 1: stepfather and they love him. They're starting to love him,
• 3:48
  Speaker 1: and I don't want to be away from them anymore.
• 3:50
  Speaker 1: Are they calling him dad yet? No, they're not going
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: to say that, and they I don't even think they
• 3:54
  Speaker 1: speak English quite frankly, so they're never going to say
• 3:57
  Speaker 1: that Papa Bear. Maybe that's all I can but yeah,
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: so I'm gonna take them with me. That means I'm
• 4:02
  Speaker 1: taking them to like my stand up shows, and then
• 4:04
  Speaker 1: we're flying into Whistler and then they'll be there with
• 4:07
  Speaker 1: me for a couple of months. Are they like pretty
• 4:09
  Speaker 1: good flyers? Yeah, they're pretty good wherever. Like yesterday, Joe
• 4:12
  Speaker 1: and I took Bernice to Starbucks with us, and Joe
• 4:15
  Speaker 1: has one of these ridiculous cars. It's a convertible. I
• 4:17
  Speaker 1: don't know what kind it is because it's just so
• 4:19
  Speaker 1: loud you can hear them coming from like three blocks away.
• 4:22
  Speaker 1: I'm like, how do we get it? You're successful? Like
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: cool it with the fucking cars. Anyway, we brought Bernice
• 4:27
  Speaker 1: to Starbucks and she sat in my lap and had
• 4:29
  Speaker 1: her arms paws around me. Albeit it was a forced
• 4:32
  Speaker 1: situation because there was nowhere else for her to go
• 4:34
  Speaker 1: because it's like a two seater sports car, so she
• 4:37
  Speaker 1: was forced to have to hug me. But I'll take it.
• 4:39
  Speaker 1: And it was adorable, And I was like, you know what,
• 4:42
  Speaker 1: I'm not willing to go another month without them. No,
• 4:44
  Speaker 1: you just like need that cuddly buddy that you can embrace. Yeah. Yeah,
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: and they're gonna be upset when they're not around my belt,
• 4:50
  Speaker 1: my housekeeper, But you know what funk that? Because they've
• 4:54
  Speaker 1: been with her for months. They she took them last
• 4:56
  Speaker 1: night for her own She's like, I need to sleep
• 4:58
  Speaker 1: over if they're going. And then Felix, my dog walker
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: who's there works at the house every day, said the
• 5:04
  Speaker 1: same thing. He had a sleepover with them on Saturday.
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  Speaker 1: I was like, oh my god, it's like we're ride
• 5:08
  Speaker 1: sharing these It's like a group on with these dogs.
• 5:11
  Speaker 1: Everyone loves them. Our guest today is the host of
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: Full Frontal with Samantha b which is in its seventh
• 5:18
  Speaker 1: season and it airs on Thursdays at ten on TBS.
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  Speaker 1: And she also has a podcast which I was just
• 5:24
  Speaker 1: on called Full Release, and that's wherever you get your podcast.
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  Speaker 1: Please welcome Samantha b. Hi. Like, I was so excited,
• 5:33
  Speaker 1: thank you for having me. Oh my god, I'm excited
• 5:36
  Speaker 1: to be here. Okay, this is strange because we were
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: just we just recorded your podcast and we are now
• 5:43
  Speaker 1: recording my podcast. But this is the actual first time
• 5:46
  Speaker 1: that we have ever spoken, which doesn't really make a
• 5:49
  Speaker 1: lot of sense. It doesn't make any sense. And like
• 5:51
  Speaker 1: I feel also like I've said your name in so
• 5:55
  Speaker 1: many contexts because as we talked about in my pipe,
• 5:58
  Speaker 1: like people are always like, well, you're the only woman
• 6:01
  Speaker 1: doing a show, and you're like, no, I'm not. Because
• 6:03
  Speaker 1: there's Chelsea, there's this person. There's like there's like a
• 6:06
  Speaker 1: lot of so I feel like I've said your name,
• 6:09
  Speaker 1: I've tried to manifest you many times, and anyway, now
• 6:12
  Speaker 1: we're here. So I'm very grateful, thank you. I'm I'm
• 6:15
  Speaker 1: excited to talk to you. I want to talk to
• 6:17
  Speaker 1: you first. I want to ask you about your your
• 6:20
  Speaker 1: seventh season of Full Frontal with Samantha b And I
• 6:25
  Speaker 1: want to know how that has been, what this experience
• 6:28
  Speaker 1: has been like, and what the most kind of challenging
• 6:31
  Speaker 1: thing that you faced, because I think we we think, oh,
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: you get a TV show, it's going to be great.
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  Speaker 1: You get to express your creative whatever you want to
• 6:38
  Speaker 1: put out there, you get to do, and then it
• 6:39
  Speaker 1: comes with such a whole other plethora of baggage that
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: you're just like, there are so many challenges you come across,
• 6:47
  Speaker 1: and for every person that's different, because some people thrive
• 6:50
  Speaker 1: in different situations. So I'm curious to know what your
• 6:53
  Speaker 1: biggest challenges have been and like, really, what you've learned
• 6:56
  Speaker 1: about yourself through doing all of this. Well, I think
• 6:59
  Speaker 1: that the big inning it was like put my whole
• 7:02
  Speaker 1: self on hold. I feel like I don't even really
• 7:05
  Speaker 1: remember the first year and a half because it's so
• 7:08
  Speaker 1: much busy making and you're just trying to like it
• 7:11
  Speaker 1: feels like every every show that you complete, you're like
• 7:15
  Speaker 1: scrambling to complete the next one. You're like always you're
• 7:18
  Speaker 1: just like churning and churning and the wheels are constantly turning,
• 7:22
  Speaker 1: so you're never at rest, never at rest. And then
• 7:25
  Speaker 1: you have a little bit more time to kind of
• 7:27
  Speaker 1: like take a step back and think, but it's not
• 7:29
  Speaker 1: that much more time, and now kind of seven seasons in,
• 7:32
  Speaker 1: I'm like, Okay, now I can now I can think
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: a little bit. But for me, the most challenging thing
• 7:38
  Speaker 1: is actually managing I think managing people like managing a business,
• 7:42
  Speaker 1: like being honest about the fact that it's like a
• 7:44
  Speaker 1: business with real people who have real lives and worries
• 7:49
  Speaker 1: and concerns and complaints and you kind of have to
• 7:51
  Speaker 1: like be a part of that and fix problems and
• 7:55
  Speaker 1: fix your work culture and like that I found really
• 7:58
  Speaker 1: challenging because I'm not like a business. This person I
• 8:00
  Speaker 1: don't know how to do. I'm not trained. This is
• 8:03
  Speaker 1: like a a gift. This is like a present and
• 8:06
  Speaker 1: an opportunity, and you're trying to be very creative, but
• 8:09
  Speaker 1: you also I think balancing like the creative part and
• 8:13
  Speaker 1: the performing part, which is the part that you get
• 8:15
  Speaker 1: into it for with actually being a caretaker of people
• 8:20
  Speaker 1: and trying to make a work environment that works for
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  Speaker 1: other people. That was the part that I found so
• 8:25
  Speaker 1: unexpected and and extremely challenging, and I still find it
• 8:28
  Speaker 1: challenging to this day. Yeah, I agree with that. It's
• 8:31
  Speaker 1: very hard to manage people, especially when that's not what
• 8:33
  Speaker 1: you're setting out to do, you know, totally as a
• 8:35
  Speaker 1: comedic voice or as you know, as a journalistic voice,
• 8:39
  Speaker 1: like however you want to frame it. You're sitting there
• 8:41
  Speaker 1: trying to just share your opinion and you're kind of
• 8:43
  Speaker 1: p o V. And then you realize, oh, there's so
• 8:47
  Speaker 1: much more involved than that, totally. Like people go to school,
• 8:50
  Speaker 1: like people go to college to learn how to manage
• 8:52
  Speaker 1: and learn there's like techniques and there's philosophies, and there's
• 8:56
  Speaker 1: ways to approach things and ways to like phrase things
• 8:59
  Speaker 1: that are better than others. And it's like, I'm sure
• 9:02
  Speaker 1: it was probably hard for you to like you're a
• 9:04
  Speaker 1: performer and you're so independent and you're like you're doing
• 9:09
  Speaker 1: your own thing, and then all of a sudden, there's
• 9:11
  Speaker 1: like people working for you, and it's hard to grapple
• 9:14
  Speaker 1: with that. It's a really sharp learning curve. It was
• 9:16
  Speaker 1: for me for sure. I want to say thank you
• 9:18
  Speaker 1: for saying all of a sudden instead of all of
• 9:21
  Speaker 1: the sudden, because I have been saying all of the
• 9:23
  Speaker 1: sudden for many years and somebody very kindly and appropriately
• 9:29
  Speaker 1: corrected me and said, it's not all of the sudden,
• 9:31
  Speaker 1: you fucking idiot. For somebody who likes to correct other
• 9:34
  Speaker 1: people's grammar, you should figure out that you're saying all
• 9:36
  Speaker 1: of the sudden. And I was so horrified. So now
• 9:40
  Speaker 1: I listen to make sure everyone's saying all of a sudden.
• 9:42
  Speaker 1: Oh my god. You know what, for my most of
• 9:45
  Speaker 1: my entire life, I thought it was doggie dog world.
• 9:49
  Speaker 1: You know what. It's a doggie dog world out there, guys,
• 9:52
  Speaker 1: And if you say it fast enough it makes sense.
• 9:54
  Speaker 1: You're like, yeah, it is a doggie dog world. So
• 9:57
  Speaker 1: how did you manage when in the beginning of your show,
• 9:59
  Speaker 1: like you're you obviously have more responsibilities than I do
• 10:02
  Speaker 1: because you have a family, So how did that work
• 10:04
  Speaker 1: out for you? Because I know you're with the love
• 10:06
  Speaker 1: of your life. You're with your partner. Yep, ye ye. Yeah,
• 10:08
  Speaker 1: we've been married now for we've been together since whatever
• 10:12
  Speaker 1: that means, I can't I don't count. I don't know.
• 10:15
  Speaker 1: I don't know how many years that is, and they
• 10:16
  Speaker 1: don't remember those things, but it was. And we have
• 10:21
  Speaker 1: three kids, so we have like a sixteen We have
• 10:22
  Speaker 1: a sixteen year old, thirteen year old, and an eleven
• 10:24
  Speaker 1: year old. And so I think I did like a
• 10:27
  Speaker 1: medium job at a lot of things, and I definitely
• 10:29
  Speaker 1: lost myself. So I went like, there's three big pieces
• 10:33
  Speaker 1: of this. There's the work, and then there's my children,
• 10:36
  Speaker 1: and then there's me as a human being. And I
• 10:40
  Speaker 1: just focused on the other two things. And I probably
• 10:42
  Speaker 1: didn't pay any attention to myself for many years. I
• 10:46
  Speaker 1: think I actually like was like I just give over.
• 10:50
  Speaker 1: I just kind of gave over for years. And Yeah,
• 10:53
  Speaker 1: the irony that you're doing a show with your name
• 10:56
  Speaker 1: on it, but you're not paying any attention to yourself, No,
• 10:59
  Speaker 1: not at all. No, it was. It's not It's not possible,
• 11:02
  Speaker 1: and I do think a lot of people experience that.
• 11:04
  Speaker 1: It's not unusual, it's not like special. I definitely stopped
• 11:07
  Speaker 1: like having my period like I stopped all these things
• 11:09
  Speaker 1: were just like everything stop everything, like, shove all your
• 11:13
  Speaker 1: personal feelings out the door for a while. We'll get
• 11:17
  Speaker 1: back to you later. And so and and I did.
• 11:22
  Speaker 1: I'm like more and more fully realized human being now
• 11:25
  Speaker 1: than I was at the beginning. Do you go to therapy?
• 11:33
  Speaker 1: I don't look at you. I probably should. Well I
• 11:38
  Speaker 1: tried to, and then I was like, I don't get
• 11:40
  Speaker 1: me wrong, How I'm going to do this? How do
• 11:41
  Speaker 1: I add this to my schedule? It feel very yeah,
• 11:45
  Speaker 1: And in the beginning of therapy, I would say it
• 11:47
  Speaker 1: felt very self absorbed. You know, you're like, oh god,
• 11:51
  Speaker 1: now I have to be one of these people that
• 11:52
  Speaker 1: just sits here. In addition to having my whole life
• 11:55
  Speaker 1: be about me, I have to go now and talk
• 11:56
  Speaker 1: to somebody about myself for two hours. And it feels
• 12:01
  Speaker 1: it is good in the long run, but in the beginning, when,
• 12:04
  Speaker 1: especially when you have your own show and you have
• 12:07
  Speaker 1: all of these things, you just it is kind of
• 12:09
  Speaker 1: a breath of fresh air to not think about yourself.
• 12:11
  Speaker 1: How do you know when you found the right person? Like,
• 12:14
  Speaker 1: how do you actually find I feel like that's the secret,
• 12:17
  Speaker 1: which is that you don't necessarily have to go with
• 12:20
  Speaker 1: the first therapist you meet, like you probably could have
• 12:23
  Speaker 1: bad ones along the way. Right. Oh yeah, that's what
• 12:25
  Speaker 1: everybody talks about, you know, because people find one and
• 12:28
  Speaker 1: it's not a match, and then they're like, you know,
• 12:31
  Speaker 1: forget it, you know, what's the point. But I mean
• 12:34
  Speaker 1: I would argue always that there's always somebody that's going
• 12:36
  Speaker 1: to be a match. It's just a matter of going
• 12:38
  Speaker 1: through the trial and error. But you know, it's not
• 12:41
  Speaker 1: that everybody has to go to therapy. I mean, let's
• 12:43
  Speaker 1: be realistic. Some people are fine without it and some
• 12:45
  Speaker 1: people really need to unpack their ship. So right, right, right,
• 12:50
  Speaker 1: there's a lot of therapy talk on this podcast. We
• 12:52
  Speaker 1: got We started this podcast trying to give advice, you know,
• 12:55
  Speaker 1: like I wanted people to call in, like where should
• 12:57
  Speaker 1: I go on vacation? And then all of a sudden,
• 13:00
  Speaker 1: all of a sudden, it got serious and I was
• 13:02
  Speaker 1: like big responsibilities. But I love it. I love kind
• 13:06
  Speaker 1: of helping people, you know, just be a better version
• 13:09
  Speaker 1: of themselves, because I think that's it. The thing that
• 13:12
  Speaker 1: I got so much from therapy was calming the fucked down,
• 13:15
  Speaker 1: not being so reactive and just calming down and sitting
• 13:20
  Speaker 1: still instead of having a million things going on. I
• 13:24
  Speaker 1: had an inability to do that. So once I was
• 13:27
  Speaker 1: able to kind of start understanding that it's not like
• 13:30
  Speaker 1: you're ever fully cooked, obviously, because what would be the
• 13:33
  Speaker 1: point if we were. But I liked all that stuff
• 13:36
  Speaker 1: when I was seeing like concrete improvements. Then it became addictive.
• 13:40
  Speaker 1: I was like, Okay, wait, I can get better at this.
• 13:42
  Speaker 1: I can do this in a more mindful way. I
• 13:44
  Speaker 1: really would love someone to teach me how to calm
• 13:46
  Speaker 1: the funk down, because I actually don't like I feel
• 13:49
  Speaker 1: now I'm fifty two and I stand doing everything like
• 13:55
  Speaker 1: I never It's really I never sit down like my
• 13:58
  Speaker 1: feet or in pay at the end of the day
• 14:01
  Speaker 1: from just like the amount of like back and forth
• 14:04
  Speaker 1: like zip zip zip zip zip, constantly walking and I
• 14:07
  Speaker 1: have like live in an apartment. Where am I going?
• 14:11
  Speaker 1: Maybe you're on your walking treadmill? Who knows. I just
• 14:14
  Speaker 1: never said, what have you learned about yourself doing this
• 14:17
  Speaker 1: show that you were surprised to learn in a good way?
• 14:20
  Speaker 1: Like what good qualities at managing people? Did you find
• 14:23
  Speaker 1: out about yourself? Well? I did find out it's certainly
• 14:29
  Speaker 1: not possible to make everyone who works for you happy.
• 14:34
  Speaker 1: I learned that I care about people being happy. I truly,
• 14:38
  Speaker 1: like meaningfully would rather know what someone's problem is and
• 14:44
  Speaker 1: try to help fix the problem than to just stick
• 14:47
  Speaker 1: my head in the sand and pretend that there's no
• 14:50
  Speaker 1: problem and then it's going to go away on its own.
• 14:53
  Speaker 1: I did learn that I'm generally unwilling to leave. Takes
• 15:00
  Speaker 1: me a long time to solve problems sometimes, but I'm
• 15:02
  Speaker 1: always game to try. And that's actually like a pretty
• 15:06
  Speaker 1: painful proposition. It's much easier to like not care what's
• 15:10
  Speaker 1: going on in anybody's life, or to to not care
• 15:14
  Speaker 1: and kind of like turn away from that. It just
• 15:17
  Speaker 1: sort of understood that it was better to have a
• 15:20
  Speaker 1: more difficult experience, Like if people were truly unhappy, I
• 15:26
  Speaker 1: did want to know it, and that sometimes came back
• 15:29
  Speaker 1: to me like it was sometimes my doing that people
• 15:31
  Speaker 1: were unhappy. So being willing to be responsible for that
• 15:37
  Speaker 1: was both a good thing to know about myself but
• 15:41
  Speaker 1: also very hard. Kind of like made life pretty hard.
• 15:47
  Speaker 1: It's been a long learning journey. How about your relationship
• 15:51
  Speaker 1: with your husband, how has that been affected by seven
• 15:55
  Speaker 1: years of you doing this show? Well, he's really I mean,
• 15:58
  Speaker 1: he had his show, he had a script a show
• 16:00
  Speaker 1: at the same time that I was launching this show.
• 16:03
  Speaker 1: So we were just like full pistons, like both of
• 16:07
  Speaker 1: us firing in our separate in our distinct categories. Like he's,
• 16:13
  Speaker 1: you know, he's an executive bruiser of my show. I
• 16:15
  Speaker 1: was an executive bruiser of his show. So we were
• 16:17
  Speaker 1: just like firing on all cylinders for four solid years,
• 16:23
  Speaker 1: and somehow we understood each other's issues. We had like
• 16:28
  Speaker 1: a separate we had like a language of our work
• 16:32
  Speaker 1: and then a language of our family. We were both
• 16:34
  Speaker 1: very very good at making a separation though, like we're
• 16:37
  Speaker 1: very good at compartmentalizing our two worlds. So like when
• 16:41
  Speaker 1: work was over, we were on the kids. Were like
• 16:45
  Speaker 1: very into parenting our kids. We love them. We sacrifice
• 16:50
  Speaker 1: a tremendous amount of like we don't really party. We
• 16:53
  Speaker 1: don't we separated all that stuff out, Like we don't
• 16:56
  Speaker 1: we'll never go out. We don't have like networks of
• 16:59
  Speaker 1: like people we met at parties because we never because
• 17:01
  Speaker 1: we're always like, let's do some school essays. So we
• 17:07
  Speaker 1: and we were sort of like both went on that
• 17:09
  Speaker 1: journey and we're really like homebodies. So we were just
• 17:13
  Speaker 1: like work and kids and nothing in between, and we
• 17:16
  Speaker 1: were we did that together. So our relationship is very solid.
• 17:22
  Speaker 1: Sometimes we get frustrated. Sometimes we get frustrated with each other.
• 17:25
  Speaker 1: Like I definitely tune out sometimes I space out if
• 17:29
  Speaker 1: I'm in work mode, I'm so spaced. Everyone can tell
• 17:33
  Speaker 1: that I'm physically present but completely mentally disengaged. And now
• 17:37
  Speaker 1: instead of like arguing about it, they all just kind
• 17:40
  Speaker 1: of go, oh, she's gone. Like I hear them saying
• 17:42
  Speaker 1: that she's gone, and I'm physically there, and I'm like, yep,
• 17:45
  Speaker 1: I'm gone. I can't deal with this right now. Everybody's
• 17:48
  Speaker 1: been very patient. And do you have a lot of
• 17:50
  Speaker 1: close girlfriends? No? I have a like really small group
• 17:55
  Speaker 1: of girlfriends and that is great. And I have my
• 17:58
  Speaker 1: husband and I have my kids. It's like a do
• 18:00
  Speaker 1: you tight have a really small family too. I'm an
• 18:02
  Speaker 1: only child, the only child of an only child, which
• 18:07
  Speaker 1: is interesting that you have three children. I think it's
• 18:10
  Speaker 1: probably because of it's probably because of that. Actually, what
• 18:13
  Speaker 1: size family does your husband come from? He's one of two,
• 18:16
  Speaker 1: so we both come from relatively small families. We don't
• 18:19
  Speaker 1: have like a big network of we're very much. I
• 18:23
  Speaker 1: think we're very much about creating an island that we
• 18:25
  Speaker 1: would want to live on. That's cute. It's pretty great.
• 18:29
  Speaker 1: It's pretty great. We travel well together. We're just like
• 18:33
  Speaker 1: we're just like a little unit and we just bounce
• 18:35
  Speaker 1: around all together. Yeah. On your podcast, we were talking
• 18:38
  Speaker 1: about my relationship and you were saying that you've met
• 18:41
  Speaker 1: your person too, and it's, uh, I think you could
• 18:44
  Speaker 1: always tell when someone's with their person, right, there's a
• 18:46
  Speaker 1: total calm. Equanimity is a good word for it. That's
• 18:50
  Speaker 1: a really good word for it. It is a very
• 18:52
  Speaker 1: it is very grounding to be like, Okay, I'm very
• 18:56
  Speaker 1: grateful for it, so so grateful, But also I don't
• 18:59
  Speaker 1: think about it all that much because I don't have
• 19:01
  Speaker 1: to think about it all that much. It's not really dramatic.
• 19:04
  Speaker 1: It's not a place of conflict. Which is not to
• 19:08
  Speaker 1: say that we don't disagree, for sure, we do, but
• 19:10
  Speaker 1: it's not a place of conflict in my life, Like,
• 19:13
  Speaker 1: it's not something I have to resolve. We argue well
• 19:16
  Speaker 1: together and smooth it out quickly. Disagree about some small things,
• 19:22
  Speaker 1: but generally speaking, it's it's there for both of us
• 19:25
  Speaker 1: because when we got together, we were doing children's theater
• 19:28
  Speaker 1: as Data and Sailor Moon. Everybody download that damn trip. Well,
• 19:36
  Speaker 1: I was the star of the show. Did play Sailor Moon,
• 19:38
  Speaker 1: just in case anyone was wondering. But like you know,
• 19:42
  Speaker 1: we went through like such phases of life were like
• 19:45
  Speaker 1: he was working and I was not working, and then
• 19:47
  Speaker 1: I was working and he was not working. So we
• 19:49
  Speaker 1: were always like when we had nothing, filling in the
• 19:52
  Speaker 1: blanks for each other. And that has like continued smoothly
• 19:57
  Speaker 1: into like higher stakes and bigger jobs, and we're still
• 20:01
  Speaker 1: filling in the blanks. When I'm really busy. He'll take
• 20:05
  Speaker 1: over this. He's away, I take over this, And it's
• 20:08
  Speaker 1: not easy, but that's how we do it. You mentioned
• 20:12
  Speaker 1: it's not dramatic, but you don't see you strike me
• 20:13
  Speaker 1: as somebody who has a very dramatic personality, do you?
• 20:17
  Speaker 1: I have in the past, very super dramatic. So this
• 20:21
  Speaker 1: was like I would say that Jason, my husband, is
• 20:24
  Speaker 1: the first person who he settled me down as a person.
• 20:29
  Speaker 1: He's actually the person who brought me to Earth, which
• 20:35
  Speaker 1: I needed and and didn't like before I met Jason,
• 20:39
  Speaker 1: when we were on our first date actually, which I
• 20:41
  Speaker 1: didn't even know for him, it was a date. For me.
• 20:43
  Speaker 1: I was like, I'm just going out to dinner with
• 20:45
  Speaker 1: this my friend Jason and were you guys friends for
• 20:50
  Speaker 1: a long time before you went on a day? But
• 20:51
  Speaker 1: we were co workers, so we worked on this children's
• 20:54
  Speaker 1: theater show and we were like, let's go out for dinner.
• 20:56
  Speaker 1: And he was like, we're going on a date and
• 20:58
  Speaker 1: I was like, we are at dinner, and the whole
• 21:01
  Speaker 1: dinner I just talked to him about how I was
• 21:02
  Speaker 1: ruined and I would never be in a relationship. I
• 21:04
  Speaker 1: was like, well that's it for me, folks. I never
• 21:09
  Speaker 1: I don't need it. I don't need it, I don't
• 21:11
  Speaker 1: want it. No more relationships, thank you very much. I'm
• 21:15
  Speaker 1: closing up shop and let's go to a movie. Should
• 21:18
  Speaker 1: we go? See you Waiting for Guffman? And he was
• 21:20
  Speaker 1: like I might kiss you and I was like, no,
• 21:23
  Speaker 1: thank you, and then I drove away, and then we
• 21:25
  Speaker 1: went on another day and then we did no thanks
• 21:31
  Speaker 1: and now here you are. Well, I think it's twenty
• 21:33
  Speaker 1: five years later, right plus something. We're literally this I
• 21:40
  Speaker 1: think this month approximately twenty five years together. Oh well,
• 21:44
  Speaker 1: that's a pretty big anniversary. That's called the silver anniversary.
• 21:47
  Speaker 1: I believe you might want to get your ducks in
• 21:50
  Speaker 1: a row. I'm sure I'm wrong about that. Every anniversary
• 21:53
  Speaker 1: is like it's paper and this is the yarn anniversary.
• 21:57
  Speaker 1: Like it doesn't start to get really good until you're
• 21:59
  Speaker 1: like fifty years in and then they're like Pewter or
• 22:03
  Speaker 1: something like that. And do you feel like, do you
• 22:06
  Speaker 1: feel like the last seven years of your life with
• 22:08
  Speaker 1: the show? Like do you feel like life has gone
• 22:10
  Speaker 1: by so quickly, so quickly? Like so quickly. I do
• 22:15
  Speaker 1: feel like a really only market in like Jason and
• 22:19
  Speaker 1: I were just getting old together. But I see it
• 22:20
  Speaker 1: in the kids because like when we started this enterprise,
• 22:24
  Speaker 1: they were little. I mean they were like kids. We
• 22:27
  Speaker 1: had a whole other life. We had a whole other life,
• 22:30
  Speaker 1: like a different physical circumstances. And I don't know exactly
• 22:33
  Speaker 1: know what happened, but I definitely looked up and I
• 22:35
  Speaker 1: was like, you guys are all teenagers. Wait a minute.
• 22:42
  Speaker 1: That's primarily how I think of children, just as a
• 22:44
  Speaker 1: reflection of age is a reflection of myself. Yeah, which
• 22:47
  Speaker 1: is which is why I never had them, because I'm like, listen,
• 22:49
  Speaker 1: I don't need to be reminded of that life is
• 22:51
  Speaker 1: moving quickly. How did you deal with the Trump years
• 22:55
  Speaker 1: since you were, you know, constantly talking about that that,
• 22:58
  Speaker 1: How did that affect your site key and kind of
• 23:01
  Speaker 1: emotional well being. I think when people spoke about Trump
• 23:04
  Speaker 1: dearrangement syndrome, that was That's what I felt. I had
• 23:08
  Speaker 1: that like full ring where I couldn't Sometimes I just
• 23:12
  Speaker 1: couldn't communicate how angry I was, Like I would just
• 23:14
  Speaker 1: get up. It was so disgusted and horrified on a
• 23:19
  Speaker 1: really daily basis, and I it was coincided with paramounopause,
• 23:24
  Speaker 1: which is a trip on its own, to the point
• 23:27
  Speaker 1: where I didn't really sleep. I wasn't It was always
• 23:31
  Speaker 1: kind of eating properly. I'm never a person who would
• 23:33
  Speaker 1: like skip a meal from stress. I love meals. But
• 23:37
  Speaker 1: I would wake up like clockwork at two thirty in
• 23:40
  Speaker 1: the morning and be like, all right, what's going on
• 23:43
  Speaker 1: in the world? And then I would like get really
• 23:45
  Speaker 1: enraged by reading the news. Just a constant immersion in
• 23:50
  Speaker 1: the news cycle. It was hard to get my sleeping
• 23:54
  Speaker 1: back on track, and it was tough. I don't know
• 23:57
  Speaker 1: it was hard. It was. It was not as hard
• 23:59
  Speaker 1: for me. I mean I was still doing a comedy show,
• 24:01
  Speaker 1: like that's still a fun job. I still enjoyed my
• 24:04
  Speaker 1: work and I had fun at work and it was great.
• 24:06
  Speaker 1: But it was like sifting through all that anger to
• 24:08
  Speaker 1: get to the kernels of comedy was quite an undertaking,
• 24:12
  Speaker 1: and it was real undertaking for my whole team at
• 24:14
  Speaker 1: the show, Like we were all every day we're like, oh, fun,
• 24:17
  Speaker 1: ten new things that we have to that are going
• 24:20
  Speaker 1: to ruin the world and tangibly destroy people's lives and
• 24:24
  Speaker 1: set conditions for terrible things to happen in the future
• 24:28
  Speaker 1: too vulnerable people. And you could just see it happening,
• 24:31
  Speaker 1: and you're like, what the why is that anybody dare
• 24:35
  Speaker 1: anything about this. I did learn that there are no
• 24:37
  Speaker 1: heroes and no white knights coming to save you. You
• 24:41
  Speaker 1: have to save yourself, and that's really hard to do.
• 24:44
  Speaker 1: You have to save yourself and you also have to
• 24:46
  Speaker 1: find We were talking about this last night at dinner
• 24:48
  Speaker 1: and with some friends, and I were discussing, you know,
• 24:50
  Speaker 1: actively being hopeful and positive and knowing that you're putting
• 24:53
  Speaker 1: something out that is going to counter all of the
• 24:56
  Speaker 1: negativity and all of the destruction that we see every
• 24:59
  Speaker 1: day and not so wrapped up in that because I
• 25:01
  Speaker 1: also had that experience when Trump selected, I got so
• 25:04
  Speaker 1: immersed and so wrapped up. The only thing that would
• 25:07
  Speaker 1: calm me down was talking to other people who also
• 25:10
  Speaker 1: were as as pissed as I was. You know, it's
• 25:12
  Speaker 1: like the lowest common denominator of human interaction is like,
• 25:15
  Speaker 1: what do you think is gonna happen? Where is this
• 25:17
  Speaker 1: gonna go? What about what he said here? You know?
• 25:19
  Speaker 1: And then I think coming out of it and understanding, like,
• 25:22
  Speaker 1: getting stuck in that cog is so unhelpful for for
• 25:27
  Speaker 1: spreading joy or light or hope or whatever your game
• 25:31
  Speaker 1: is or your currency is that you want to spread
• 25:33
  Speaker 1: out there. It's nice to remind yourself even when all
• 25:36
  Speaker 1: terrible things are happening, like good things can happen at
• 25:39
  Speaker 1: the same time, and there are ways to inform, educate
• 25:42
  Speaker 1: and motivate people to get involved in the right way.
• 25:45
  Speaker 1: Instead of allowing all of that to you know, weigh
• 25:48
  Speaker 1: so heavily on you, which I was so guilty of
• 25:50
  Speaker 1: doing during that time, I just let it just engulf me,
• 25:53
  Speaker 1: you know, instead of moving towards a place of okay,
• 25:56
  Speaker 1: how do we work towards something better? It's a real practice,
• 26:00
  Speaker 1: and it really does help to be off of social media.
• 26:02
  Speaker 1: That's actually a very like to take breaks from that
• 26:05
  Speaker 1: and to give yourself time away from that is because
• 26:08
  Speaker 1: it is a constants like an I mean, it is
• 26:10
  Speaker 1: just an onslaught and it's so easy, it's so so
• 26:14
  Speaker 1: easy to get caught up in things that aren't really
• 26:18
  Speaker 1: all that important, or to believe that it's real life
• 26:20
  Speaker 1: when it's it's not. Controversies that bubble up on social
• 26:25
  Speaker 1: media aren't necessarily things that people are talking thinking about
• 26:27
  Speaker 1: in real life, and there is a real life to
• 26:30
  Speaker 1: be lived away from that. Yeah, and that's what we
• 26:33
  Speaker 1: do on this show. This is about real life. Social
• 26:35
  Speaker 1: Media comes up all the time, as you would expect,
• 26:38
  Speaker 1: but I find that to be so true for me too.
• 26:40
  Speaker 1: I try so hard to have a life outside of
• 26:43
  Speaker 1: my professional life, outside of competitiveness, outside of looking around
• 26:47
  Speaker 1: to see what other people are doing and not focusing
• 26:50
  Speaker 1: on what you're doing, you know, and actually having real
• 26:53
  Speaker 1: experiences with real people that are independent of a profession
• 26:57
  Speaker 1: or of social media, or of an impression or any
• 27:00
  Speaker 1: of that. So what we're gonna do with Catherine, our
• 27:04
  Speaker 1: co host, I know you're excited about this Samantha, I can.
• 27:07
  Speaker 1: I can see the fervor in your eyes. We are
• 27:10
  Speaker 1: people are going to call in, some of them or
• 27:12
  Speaker 1: will be on zoom so you can see them, and
• 27:13
  Speaker 1: some of them will write, Katherine, what do we have
• 27:15
  Speaker 1: in store for us today in terms of advice giving? Oh?
• 27:19
  Speaker 1: My goodness, so many things. We have, uh, some baby talk,
• 27:23
  Speaker 1: we have bad behavior at one of your shows, Chelsea.
• 27:28
  Speaker 1: Fear of your partner falling out of love with you?
• 27:32
  Speaker 1: Some some wild stuff. Did you fear that, Samantha ever,
• 27:36
  Speaker 1: that your husband would fall out of love with you?
• 27:39
  Speaker 1: I think that's normal. I think that's normal too. I'm
• 27:41
  Speaker 1: at a brand new relationship and I'm like, at some
• 27:44
  Speaker 1: point he is going to find out how disgusting I
• 27:46
  Speaker 1: am and be disgusted by me, you know, and I
• 27:50
  Speaker 1: and we're still in the honeymoon phase. Ish ish we're
• 27:54
  Speaker 1: phasing into we're phasing into the other phase. But yeah,
• 27:59
  Speaker 1: I have that fear. That's a very very normal, everyday
• 28:03
  Speaker 1: human fear, of course. But you know you have to
• 28:05
  Speaker 1: know that they're having that fear about you as well.
• 28:08
  Speaker 1: So I would imagine you feel that way about your
• 28:10
  Speaker 1: children too, Like, what if my children grow up to
• 28:12
  Speaker 1: hate me right, that would be in fear for any parent.
• 28:15
  Speaker 1: Natural fear, natural fear. Great, something else to be afraid of? Yeah, great, good,
• 28:20
  Speaker 1: let's add more fear. Yeah. Well, we'll take a quick
• 28:23
  Speaker 1: break for an ad and we'll be right back and
• 28:30
  Speaker 1: we're back with Samantha V and Catherine. Al Right, well,
• 28:36
  Speaker 1: let's jump right into our first question. Our first question
• 28:39
  Speaker 1: comes from shar She says, Dear Chelsea, my future sister
• 28:43
  Speaker 1: in law has been in a relationship for about a
• 28:45
  Speaker 1: year now. I recently spent some time with her and
• 28:48
  Speaker 1: her boyfriend and noticed read couldn't stop cringing that they
• 28:53
  Speaker 1: use their baby talk voice in public and it was
• 28:56
  Speaker 1: driving me crazy. How do I tell them that the
• 28:58
  Speaker 1: baby talk is something for the privacy of their own
• 29:01
  Speaker 1: home and not for public consumption. Thank you, shar God,
• 29:08
  Speaker 1: I want to Yeah, do you know, do you really
• 29:11
  Speaker 1: want to hear the talk? Do? What? What's my? What
• 29:16
  Speaker 1: you doing? Or else they're going to all that me
• 29:19
  Speaker 1: on Enchilada. I don't know what does that sound like?
• 29:22
  Speaker 1: What when two adults do that? It's exciting they're both
• 29:28
  Speaker 1: doing it if I love it. We actually do have
• 29:31
  Speaker 1: a clip from her, and so here is a little
• 29:35
  Speaker 1: bit of what that baby talk sounds like I really
• 29:39
  Speaker 1: want some Mexican food. Oh you do? Oh you when
• 29:45
  Speaker 1: you get a margarita the Mexican plish? Yeah? Should I
• 29:50
  Speaker 1: have one margharita or two margarita's? M last time you
• 29:56
  Speaker 1: had to I had to drive you home. You're probably
• 30:03
  Speaker 1: right I should have one, I would say. Honestly, I
• 30:12
  Speaker 1: would say shoot her an email and be direct as
• 30:15
  Speaker 1: possible and say, listen, baby talk is not for public consumption.
• 30:20
  Speaker 1: No one is interested in listening to that. I love
• 30:23
  Speaker 1: you and that's all you have to write. Wait, but
• 30:28
  Speaker 1: she's your sister. Wait, so show the math on this one.
• 30:33
  Speaker 1: It's her future sister in law. So I think that
• 30:35
  Speaker 1: means her boyfriend's or fiance's sister sister. That's what right, Yes,
• 30:42
  Speaker 1: that's the relationship. So it's like not her sibling, but
• 30:46
  Speaker 1: someone is going to spend a lot of time with m. Yep,
• 30:51
  Speaker 1: that's a bit of an that's a bit awkward. Do
• 30:55
  Speaker 1: you think you can be that direct with your future
• 30:58
  Speaker 1: sister in law? I think that when arms of baby talk,
• 31:01
  Speaker 1: when it's such a ridiculous behavior, you have to just
• 31:04
  Speaker 1: hit the nail off the head and be direct about
• 31:06
  Speaker 1: how absurd. It is to think that that's acceptable. No
• 31:10
  Speaker 1: one is interested in hearing that. No one's interested in
• 31:13
  Speaker 1: seeing people tongue kiss openly. Like if there are pornographs,
• 31:18
  Speaker 1: pornographic pornographic videos, there are pornographs, there are pornographic videos.
• 31:23
  Speaker 1: You can watch that for that kind of stimulation. Like,
• 31:26
  Speaker 1: it's just I think the short sweet to the point,
• 31:28
  Speaker 1: and I love you the idea I'm a porn where
• 31:32
  Speaker 1: their baby talking ad and I love you so much.
• 31:34
  Speaker 1: I love you so much. Yeah, I love you so much.
• 31:37
  Speaker 1: Will I love you so much? And I'm worried that
• 31:38
  Speaker 1: you're being taken the wrong way when you guys talk
• 31:40
  Speaker 1: baby talk. Oh yeah, that's nicer, you know. Maybe, I
• 31:46
  Speaker 1: don't know. That's a tough one. I don't know. Right now.
• 31:48
  Speaker 1: All I'm thinking about is how many times I've done
• 31:50
  Speaker 1: that in public with Joe, And I'm just like fun,
• 31:53
  Speaker 1: I hope that I don't do that, but I don't
• 31:54
  Speaker 1: think I do it. Sometimes I call him Buddha, Buddha
• 31:57
  Speaker 1: Buddha in front of people, but they all are in
• 31:59
  Speaker 1: on that and they call him to too. But that's
• 32:00
  Speaker 1: as far as it goes in public. We used to
• 32:02
  Speaker 1: have friends who called each other, babe, and I really
• 32:06
  Speaker 1: hated it. I was like, oh my god, and now
• 32:10
  Speaker 1: my house one all night we started doing it ironically.
• 32:13
  Speaker 1: This is the danger of doing something ironically in your
• 32:15
  Speaker 1: own life, because now we're like bed dead dead and
• 32:18
  Speaker 1: we just we've done it now for ten to fifteen years. Ironically.
• 32:23
  Speaker 1: I used to make a joke about the word pussy
• 32:24
  Speaker 1: because it was such a vile word that I would
• 32:26
  Speaker 1: be like, oh, how's your pussy doing today, you know,
• 32:28
  Speaker 1: to try and normalize it, and then as a joke,
• 32:30
  Speaker 1: my sisters and I like I would go in and
• 32:32
  Speaker 1: like say hi to my sister. I'm like, hi, pussy face, pussy,
• 32:35
  Speaker 1: And then it became a regular like nickname, and it's like,
• 32:38
  Speaker 1: my sisters like, that's not funny. You cannot be using
• 32:41
  Speaker 1: it normally because it turned from a joke into now
• 32:44
  Speaker 1: you're doing it normally. I'm like, oh, yeah, that's right.
• 32:46
  Speaker 1: You can't do that either. But Baby, I mean, I
• 32:49
  Speaker 1: don't know. I don't find babe annoying. Baby talk is
• 32:52
  Speaker 1: for the bedroom on its pillow talk. Yeah, okay, okay,
• 32:57
  Speaker 1: So I don't know. I mean, I I think, yeah,
• 33:00
  Speaker 1: I think, be firm and hopefully make the first time,
• 33:03
  Speaker 1: the last time I accept your advice. I'm making a
• 33:09
  Speaker 1: mental note to myself, Jason, we should stop doing baby talk,
• 33:14
  Speaker 1: like I'm gonna learn a lot, well, especially your baby talk,
• 33:17
  Speaker 1: because your baby talk was come here, whoopsie, I got
• 33:20
  Speaker 1: a pickle or whatever. I hope no one ever catches
• 33:23
  Speaker 1: me talking to my cat. I don't because then, yeah, yeah,
• 33:27
  Speaker 1: that's exactly what it was, the way I talked to
• 33:30
  Speaker 1: my dogs. You have to have a special voice for
• 33:33
  Speaker 1: your dogs, like you just do. Yeah. Yeah, that's that's expected,
• 33:38
  Speaker 1: that's needed. Yeah, you have to have a special voice
• 33:40
  Speaker 1: for your dogs because they don't have a voice, so
• 33:42
  Speaker 1: you have to supply them with one, and has to
• 33:45
  Speaker 1: be very high frequency, very weird. Yes. My mother in
• 33:49
  Speaker 1: law when we were home visiting for the holidays, she
• 33:51
  Speaker 1: actually pointed out, She's like, oh, you guys baby talk
• 33:53
  Speaker 1: your dog a lot, like kind of constantly. And I
• 33:55
  Speaker 1: was like, it's not baby talk though, it's like a
• 33:58
  Speaker 1: mimsy speak. And her name is mit See, it's like
• 34:00
  Speaker 1: it's her own language. It's for her. Yeah, it's not
• 34:04
  Speaker 1: like I'm gonna talk to Bert like he's an adult, like, hey, Bert,
• 34:06
  Speaker 1: come here. It's like that doesn't work. Well? Does nothing
• 34:09
  Speaker 1: works because you can't hear anything I said? But whatever? Well.
• 34:14
  Speaker 1: Our next email comes from Carrie. She's in her twenties.
• 34:20
  Speaker 1: She says, I recently attended your show in Minneapolis, Chelsea.
• 34:23
  Speaker 1: It was amazing and I thoroughly enjoyed it. I had
• 34:26
  Speaker 1: purchased two tickets for the third row a few months
• 34:29
  Speaker 1: ago while I was heavily intoxicated, not just because I'm
• 34:32
  Speaker 1: a huge fan of yours, but also to spite one
• 34:35
  Speaker 1: of my close friends who got tickets for your show
• 34:37
  Speaker 1: with some other girls and didn't invite me, even though
• 34:40
  Speaker 1: I can guarantee that I'm a larger fan of you
• 34:42
  Speaker 1: than they are. They were up in the nosebleeds, so
• 34:45
  Speaker 1: I found great joy from having awesome seats, knowing they
• 34:48
  Speaker 1: were probably jealous a f Given that I splurged on
• 34:52
  Speaker 1: third row seat tickets, it took me a little bit
• 34:54
  Speaker 1: to conduct an investigation on who I knew that loved
• 34:57
  Speaker 1: you and would be willing to spend that much. I
• 35:00
  Speaker 1: found a coworker who was like, hell, yes, I love
• 35:02
  Speaker 1: Chelsea Handler. About a year ago, I hung out with
• 35:05
  Speaker 1: her outside of work and got drinks. Long story short,
• 35:09
  Speaker 1: that night got real weird. And I made a vow
• 35:11
  Speaker 1: that I would never hang out with her outside of
• 35:13
  Speaker 1: work ever again. Despite my promise to myself, I took
• 35:17
  Speaker 1: her up on her offer to come with. When she
• 35:19
  Speaker 1: arrived at my house at six pm, she was already
• 35:22
  Speaker 1: black out drunk. We missed dinner, and long story short,
• 35:25
  Speaker 1: she took more shots during your opener, which perpetuated her
• 35:28
  Speaker 1: intoxication level. I don't think you said one single sentence
• 35:32
  Speaker 1: during the show without her screaming at you, and I
• 35:34
  Speaker 1: was completely horrified and embarrassed. People around us were also
• 35:38
  Speaker 1: clearly annoyed, and despite my attempts at telling her to
• 35:41
  Speaker 1: shut the funk up, she kept doing it. I just
• 35:44
  Speaker 1: wanted to sincerely apologize for her stupidity and obnoxious actions
• 35:48
  Speaker 1: during Your show. I also feel bad that she negatively
• 35:51
  Speaker 1: affected the people around us from enjoying the show at
• 35:54
  Speaker 1: its fullest. She spent the entire day after puking in
• 35:57
  Speaker 1: my basement, and I will most likely be getting some
• 35:59
  Speaker 1: sort of con track notarized that says I'm never to
• 36:02
  Speaker 1: see her face outside of work again. How can I
• 36:04
  Speaker 1: get over my anger and embarrassment at what she did,
• 36:07
  Speaker 1: especially when I have to see her at work Carrie, Oh,
• 36:12
  Speaker 1: that's yeah. Well, first of all, I would think, listen,
• 36:16
  Speaker 1: don't worry about that. I don't even remember that. There
• 36:19
  Speaker 1: are sometimes hecklers, but that's not ruining, it's disturbance. It's
• 36:24
  Speaker 1: not welcome, but it happens, and people get wasted. The
• 36:28
  Speaker 1: bigger issue is your friends drinking, which sounds like she's
• 36:31
  Speaker 1: a hot mess, and so you should have a little
• 36:33
  Speaker 1: bit more empathy for why she's in that situation instead
• 36:38
  Speaker 1: of so much judgment towards her, because that's not helpful either.
• 36:43
  Speaker 1: And you're holding onto anger, which I don't know your face,
• 36:46
  Speaker 1: I don't know her face. It's okay, you didn't affect
• 36:49
  Speaker 1: my life in a negative way. You know, probably some
• 36:52
  Speaker 1: people around you, but they're not still thinking about that either.
• 36:55
  Speaker 1: Your friend sounds like she's just a hot mess, and
• 36:57
  Speaker 1: there's a reason why she's a hot mess. There's a
• 36:59
  Speaker 1: reason why she's blacking out drinking the two times you've
• 37:02
  Speaker 1: hung out with her. So I mean that that's a
• 37:05
  Speaker 1: pattern of behavior. So if you can find it in
• 37:07
  Speaker 1: your heart to be a little bit more open minded
• 37:10
  Speaker 1: about maybe helping her figure out what her issues are,
• 37:13
  Speaker 1: because that isn't normal behavior. You know, you don't want
• 37:16
  Speaker 1: to be out doing that. If that happens to somebody
• 37:19
  Speaker 1: wants fine, But if it happens to somebody dent of
• 37:21
  Speaker 1: the time, which is the two times you hung out
• 37:24
  Speaker 1: with her, that's not a good indicator. So she could
• 37:27
  Speaker 1: probably use more of a friend than somebody who's judging her.
• 37:32
  Speaker 1: And if you could find it in your heart to
• 37:34
  Speaker 1: be that for her, that would be great. It's not
• 37:36
  Speaker 1: your responsibility, but it would be a nice exercise and
• 37:39
  Speaker 1: human kindness. Samantha, what do you think? I agree with you.
• 37:42
  Speaker 1: I feel like if she was carrying shame for that event,
• 37:46
  Speaker 1: I feel like you have absolved her of that and
• 37:49
  Speaker 1: she shouldn't carry that with her. It happened, it's over.
• 37:53
  Speaker 1: She already wasn't responsible for her friends condition, and it
• 37:57
  Speaker 1: is unfortunate, but it didn't affect anyone's lives. It didn't
• 38:01
  Speaker 1: affect if you don't remember, if it doesn't stand out
• 38:04
  Speaker 1: to you, it was unfortunate, but it's not something she
• 38:07
  Speaker 1: should really carry. She shouldn't carry any guilt forward. She
• 38:11
  Speaker 1: really only has to have a functioning work relationship with
• 38:15
  Speaker 1: this person. I feel like what you're suggesting is great.
• 38:19
  Speaker 1: If this person needs a friend or they just need
• 38:21
  Speaker 1: someone to say. You know, ad percent of our social
• 38:25
  Speaker 1: interactions have been really awkward and weird, and they're kind
• 38:28
  Speaker 1: of centered on drinking. So if you ever want to
• 38:30
  Speaker 1: talk about that, I'm right here. Otherwise, we're co workers.
• 38:34
  Speaker 1: We don't have to interact outside of this place. It's
• 38:37
  Speaker 1: up to you. I don't want to do that again,
• 38:38
  Speaker 1: but I feel like you might be hurting, and if
• 38:40
  Speaker 1: that's the case, maybe I could be helpful. And that's it.
• 38:44
  Speaker 1: Like you're not responsible, but you're friendly enough to go
• 38:47
  Speaker 1: out sometimes, so it feels like there's more than just
• 38:50
  Speaker 1: a work relationship. But you don't have to like overstep,
• 38:54
  Speaker 1: and empathy is good. Empathy for this person takes you
• 38:57
  Speaker 1: outside of your own anger. It can like you can
• 39:00
  Speaker 1: alleviate that for you and also think about the things
• 39:03
  Speaker 1: that are adding to your anger, like your other friends
• 39:06
  Speaker 1: getting tickets and not in fighting. You like that all
• 39:08
  Speaker 1: that all worked itself into that situation for you. So
• 39:12
  Speaker 1: you know, you are kind of probably in a slightly
• 39:14
  Speaker 1: aggravated state because of all of that, trying to kind
• 39:17
  Speaker 1: of with the gamesmanship of getting better tickets and doing
• 39:20
  Speaker 1: your own thing. So just take all those factors into it.
• 39:23
  Speaker 1: But definitely holding on to angers. It doesn't do anyone
• 39:26
  Speaker 1: any good, and it certainly doesn't do you any good.
• 39:28
  Speaker 1: I totally agree with that. Yeah. Well, our next question
• 39:36
  Speaker 1: comes from Charlotte. She says, Dear Chelsea, I wanted to
• 39:40
  Speaker 1: write in to ask about mental health social anxiety, in particular,
• 39:44
  Speaker 1: every time I have a get together with close friends
• 39:47
  Speaker 1: or family, I worry after worried about what people think
• 39:50
  Speaker 1: of me. I continue to ruminate about things I said
• 39:53
  Speaker 1: or did, and I worry I'm being judged or seen
• 39:56
  Speaker 1: in a bad light. I don't have the best confidence
• 39:59
  Speaker 1: and wondering how you stay so sure of yourself and
• 40:02
  Speaker 1: so comfortable with who you are as a person. Charlotte,
• 40:05
  Speaker 1: and she is here with us to chat. Hi Charlotte, Hi, Charlotte,
• 40:11
  Speaker 1: how are you? Hi? We have Samantha be here today
• 40:13
  Speaker 1: as my guest. Hi, how are you? Fellow Ontarian? Nice?
• 40:20
  Speaker 1: Nice to meet you, Nice to meet you. So what
• 40:22
  Speaker 1: do you so you are overthinking? You're a little bit
• 40:25
  Speaker 1: self conscious? Right? Yeah? Big time? Like I'll go out
• 40:30
  Speaker 1: with people, you know, have a good time, and then
• 40:32
  Speaker 1: I'll get home and I'll just ruminate, and even if
• 40:35
  Speaker 1: it's about like nothing, you know, and I don't know why,
• 40:40
  Speaker 1: and I just want to kind of get those intrusive
• 40:44
  Speaker 1: thoughts kind of out of my head after having like
• 40:46
  Speaker 1: a social interaction, you know, even with people that I
• 40:50
  Speaker 1: know really well. So I don't know why that's happening.
• 40:53
  Speaker 1: And are you do you find yourself when you're in
• 40:55
  Speaker 1: the situations that you're already thinking about what you're going
• 40:58
  Speaker 1: to say instead of maybe listening or are you present
• 41:01
  Speaker 1: when you're in those moments? Kind of both. I'm kind
• 41:05
  Speaker 1: of guilty too of like just thinking about what I
• 41:07
  Speaker 1: want to say sometimes Yeah, yeah, maybe I need to
• 41:11
  Speaker 1: be a little bit like what you just said, maybe
• 41:12
  Speaker 1: listen a little bit more. I always find that when
• 41:15
  Speaker 1: I feel self conscious, the best exercise is to listen,
• 41:19
  Speaker 1: because then it takes you out of your own headspace,
• 41:22
  Speaker 1: you know what I mean, instead of thinking because we've
• 41:24
  Speaker 1: all been there and you're not by yourself. I've experienced
• 41:27
  Speaker 1: bouts of self consciousness after bouts of huge misplaced self
• 41:30
  Speaker 1: confidence where I was like, wait a second, I thought
• 41:32
  Speaker 1: I was that person and now I'm sitting here wondering
• 41:34
  Speaker 1: what I'm gonna say when this. You know, when there's
• 41:36
  Speaker 1: a lull and the best antidote to the noise in
• 41:41
  Speaker 1: your brain is to listen, you know, and and being
• 41:44
  Speaker 1: in that moment so that you could hear what somebody
• 41:46
  Speaker 1: is saying, because there is no wrong way to be present,
• 41:49
  Speaker 1: you know, unless you're a complete asshole lunatic who's going
• 41:52
  Speaker 1: off on people like you're not doing anything offensive. I
• 41:55
  Speaker 1: can tell by talking to you for two minutes that
• 41:57
  Speaker 1: you're totally easy going night person. You know you're not.
• 42:02
  Speaker 1: You're not going to be pissing people off left and right.
• 42:05
  Speaker 1: So the over analyzation that are over analysis. I should
• 42:09
  Speaker 1: say that a lot of us experiences a temporary thing
• 42:13
  Speaker 1: and it's just usually is derivative of what's going on
• 42:16
  Speaker 1: in your life at the time. You know, if you're
• 42:17
  Speaker 1: feeling other forms of not being completely settled, but it's
• 42:21
  Speaker 1: not a permanent state of mind. So first understand that, like,
• 42:24
  Speaker 1: don't think, oh, this is how things are going to be.
• 42:27
  Speaker 1: They're not. Nothing stays. There's no permanence with any of this,
• 42:30
  Speaker 1: and that's something you know, we all know just from
• 42:32
  Speaker 1: life experience. But it's not uncommon to go through about
• 42:35
  Speaker 1: of self consciousness, and I think it's just about getting
• 42:38
  Speaker 1: your head out of that. You know, there's books you
• 42:40
  Speaker 1: can read on mindfulness or present moment awareness or any
• 42:44
  Speaker 1: of that stuff, which kind of they all say the
• 42:46
  Speaker 1: same thing, But it's just about really being present gives
• 42:50
  Speaker 1: you the gift of not being so self conscious and
• 42:54
  Speaker 1: you know, really being in the moment and noticing when
• 42:57
  Speaker 1: your thoughts get derailed to take yourself back to the
• 42:59
  Speaker 1: moment you're in, whether it's eating a sandwich and being
• 43:02
  Speaker 1: completely focused on that, or if you're doing your emails,
• 43:05
  Speaker 1: being completely focused on that, not doing it while you're
• 43:08
  Speaker 1: watching a show, while you're reading the paper. You know,
• 43:10
  Speaker 1: I used to work out when read the paper and
• 43:12
  Speaker 1: have the news on and then listen to a podcast.
• 43:15
  Speaker 1: Like obviously that wasn't working. So like really just being present,
• 43:19
  Speaker 1: overly present right now in this moment because you are
• 43:22
  Speaker 1: feeling this way, but overly present, you know, when you're walking,
• 43:25
  Speaker 1: literally walk and enjoy the leaves on the trees and
• 43:28
  Speaker 1: what you're looking at and noticing the people. You just
• 43:31
  Speaker 1: have to get yourself a little bit outside of yourself
• 43:34
  Speaker 1: and like over exercise that kind of pattern of behavior. Yeah,
• 43:37
  Speaker 1: that makes sense. It's like I was worrying today too.
• 43:39
  Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, am, I gonna think about this conversation
• 43:43
  Speaker 1: and worry about, oh did I say the wrong thing
• 43:47
  Speaker 1: or you know, And I have a pretty dry sense
• 43:49
  Speaker 1: of humor too, and some people don't get it, so
• 43:52
  Speaker 1: I worry about that as well. So I think that
• 43:55
  Speaker 1: makes sense about just like paying attention more. You could
• 43:58
  Speaker 1: walk away from this conversation no going that you did
• 44:00
  Speaker 1: not say anything wrong or weird, and that no one
• 44:04
  Speaker 1: We're all like we're all like sitting here going I
• 44:07
  Speaker 1: want the best. I literally want the best for you.
• 44:09
  Speaker 1: I feel like this is so familiar, Like I totally
• 44:13
  Speaker 1: understand where you're coming from. I feel like I've been
• 44:15
  Speaker 1: in this position to where I'm like, oh did I
• 44:17
  Speaker 1: what did I do? Like, let me just like go
• 44:19
  Speaker 1: back over every conversation and go like, oh did I
• 44:22
  Speaker 1: Are they thinking about me right now? And I'll tell
• 44:25
  Speaker 1: you what. One of the only gifts of being fifty
• 44:27
  Speaker 1: two is that you really start to get a clear
• 44:30
  Speaker 1: picture of how much people are not thinking about you,
• 44:33
  Speaker 1: Like how much they are actually not going through the
• 44:35
  Speaker 1: conversation and thinking like, oh, what a funk up, what
• 44:38
  Speaker 1: a weird thing that she said? They're actually just like
• 44:42
  Speaker 1: living their lives and going like that was really fun? Right,
• 44:44
  Speaker 1: We went out for we had brunch that was really fun.
• 44:47
  Speaker 1: I really enjoyed that we should do that again. They're
• 44:50
  Speaker 1: probably having like a really positive take on it. And
• 44:53
  Speaker 1: if I can say one more thing, and this is
• 44:55
  Speaker 1: probably not like I don't know if this is healthy
• 44:58
  Speaker 1: or if this is bad, So I'm going to just
• 45:00
  Speaker 1: say what I'm going to say and like take it
• 45:03
  Speaker 1: or leave it. But when um years ago, when I
• 45:06
  Speaker 1: was like starting this show, my my husband always seems
• 45:09
  Speaker 1: like really confident. He's got this Like I don't know
• 45:11
  Speaker 1: if it's a masculine quality or whatever, it's just maybe
• 45:14
  Speaker 1: it's adjacent quality that he never really seems to worry
• 45:16
  Speaker 1: about what other people think of him. He never seems
• 45:19
  Speaker 1: to worry about it, and like it never would occur
• 45:21
  Speaker 1: to him in a million years to be like, was
• 45:24
  Speaker 1: he did he think that I was too loud that time? Never?
• 45:28
  Speaker 1: And I remember asking him. I like cornered him in
• 45:31
  Speaker 1: the bathroom once because I was like, please help me
• 45:34
  Speaker 1: release myself. Like I literally articulated this. I was like,
• 45:37
  Speaker 1: help me release myself from worrying what other people are
• 45:40
  Speaker 1: thinking about me all the time. I was like, how
• 45:42
  Speaker 1: do you do it? Literally? What do you do? Is
• 45:44
  Speaker 1: it like a man quality? Is this a masculine quality?
• 45:47
  Speaker 1: Is this adjacent thing? Like how do you push out
• 45:50
  Speaker 1: thoughts of what other people think of you? And he
• 45:53
  Speaker 1: was like oh, he was like it's so easy. And
• 45:55
  Speaker 1: I was like, what do you do? Because I was
• 45:57
  Speaker 1: like just embroiled in all this up. He was like, oh,
• 46:01
  Speaker 1: if one of those thoughts pokes into my head, I
• 46:03
  Speaker 1: just physically push it out. I was just like, not now, Satan,
• 46:07
  Speaker 1: and he just almost in his brain goes, I'm not
• 46:12
  Speaker 1: doing this right now. And I started doing that if
• 46:15
  Speaker 1: I felt like insecurity creeping, and I started going like,
• 46:18
  Speaker 1: I don't have time for this right now. This is
• 46:21
  Speaker 1: not helping. And then I would do another hobby or
• 46:24
  Speaker 1: something like, do something else an activity that was like
• 46:27
  Speaker 1: really physical, and it just got me out of that
• 46:30
  Speaker 1: plane of thinking. I don't know if that's helpful in
• 46:32
  Speaker 1: any way. No, I think that is helpful. My husband's
• 46:36
  Speaker 1: the exact same way. He does not here. He just
• 46:38
  Speaker 1: lives his life. And I'm like, oh my god, like
• 46:40
  Speaker 1: do you think I'm weird? You know? It's like it's
• 46:44
  Speaker 1: so funny, like if you as you're saying this, Samantha,
• 46:46
  Speaker 1: I'm like, God, I was just thinking in my mind,
• 46:48
  Speaker 1: how many men have ever been like, God, I hope
• 46:50
  Speaker 1: I didn't say the wrong thing. It's like it's a
• 46:52
  Speaker 1: total male female dynamic like that we've created from probably
• 46:57
  Speaker 1: from them questioning our thoughts and feelings. I will say
• 47:00
  Speaker 1: my husband is actually like this, so he I hope
• 47:04
  Speaker 1: this is okay to share as he's here in the
• 47:05
  Speaker 1: room with me. But he does have the same sort
• 47:08
  Speaker 1: of social anxiety where like the day after a party
• 47:12
  Speaker 1: he ruminates on it and he's like, oh my god,
• 47:14
  Speaker 1: I hope I didn't sound stupid. I hope they liked me,
• 47:16
  Speaker 1: And I'm like, what are you talking about? Like they were,
• 47:19
  Speaker 1: they were charmed by you. You're cracking jokes, You're fun
• 47:22
  Speaker 1: like you were conversing. He's so much fun at a party,
• 47:26
  Speaker 1: and he's everyone loves him. He's tall and handsome and
• 47:29
  Speaker 1: well spoken and smart and generally great. But I think
• 47:33
  Speaker 1: Chelsea's right, like it is one of those things that
• 47:35
  Speaker 1: has to come from inside and Sam as well. It's
• 47:38
  Speaker 1: like it has to come from inside of you, either
• 47:40
  Speaker 1: pushing it out or like being present in the moment
• 47:43
  Speaker 1: and experiencing what's really going on. No amount of my
• 47:46
  Speaker 1: reassuring him that he was great at the party, convinces
• 47:49
  Speaker 1: him he was great at the party. It sort of
• 47:51
  Speaker 1: has to come from inside. That's a great point. It
• 47:54
  Speaker 1: does have to come from whatever technique you use. But
• 47:57
  Speaker 1: I do find like business is a cure for a
• 47:59
  Speaker 1: lot of that. Getting outside of your own body in
• 48:02
  Speaker 1: a way and being like very busy with something is
• 48:04
  Speaker 1: helpful in terms of just not ruminating on things. And
• 48:08
  Speaker 1: also there's a couple of good books that just remind
• 48:11
  Speaker 1: you and give you, Like there's one called Finding Peace
• 48:14
  Speaker 1: in a Frantic World. It's written by Mark Williams. It's
• 48:17
  Speaker 1: like a beginner's guide for mindfulness, Like it just gives
• 48:19
  Speaker 1: you the basic steps when you're too much in your
• 48:21
  Speaker 1: head to just remember that acts of service, helping someone else,
• 48:26
  Speaker 1: focusing on someone else's issues, being like a good friend
• 48:29
  Speaker 1: to somebody else, or whoever's in your life, that will
• 48:31
  Speaker 1: always take you out of yourself, you know. And then
• 48:34
  Speaker 1: also the Power of Now by kartl Just it all
• 48:37
  Speaker 1: espouses the entire practice of just always knowing that those
• 48:41
  Speaker 1: thoughts are your ego, those thoughts are your negative voice
• 48:44
  Speaker 1: trying to drag you in. So saying no, get out
• 48:47
  Speaker 1: is exactly the way to treat those thoughts, you know,
• 48:50
  Speaker 1: like there's no room for you here, and once you
• 48:53
  Speaker 1: start implementing those things, you'll get out of this much
• 48:56
  Speaker 1: quicker than you think. And also to be forget being
• 49:00
  Speaker 1: of yourself like this is normal, Like I want you
• 49:03
  Speaker 1: to be kind to yourself and know that like every
• 49:06
  Speaker 1: human person feels these thoughts, you know what I mean.
• 49:10
  Speaker 1: And I think that the struggle. I think everybody has
• 49:14
  Speaker 1: this struggle to to great some extent, like maybe for
• 49:17
  Speaker 1: some people it's not a big struggle, but everybody has
• 49:20
  Speaker 1: those feelings of like afterwards going like judging yourself, and
• 49:24
  Speaker 1: I want for you that you forgive yourself. Yeah, you
• 49:28
  Speaker 1: know we all feel it sucks. Yeah, the thought of
• 49:31
  Speaker 1: people being unhappy with me is like the worst thing.
• 49:34
  Speaker 1: I don't know why. I don't know why. I don't
• 49:36
  Speaker 1: know how to be kind to myself and know that
• 49:39
  Speaker 1: nothing happened, But if somebody is unhappy with me, how
• 49:43
  Speaker 1: to like kind of get past that, if that makes
• 49:45
  Speaker 1: any sense, like just being like, well that's what I said,
• 49:47
  Speaker 1: and I said what I said, you know, with me
• 49:50
  Speaker 1: not being offensive, but yeah, but also think about like
• 49:53
  Speaker 1: you know, think of yourself as a little girl or
• 49:55
  Speaker 1: do you think of yourself as as your daughter. Would
• 49:58
  Speaker 1: you ever want your daughter to feel that way, to
• 50:00
  Speaker 1: feel like she has to please everybody in this world?
• 50:03
  Speaker 1: You know, that's a fake construct that has been built
• 50:05
  Speaker 1: up for women to behave in a certain way that
• 50:08
  Speaker 1: is people pleasing. And do you want to be that
• 50:10
  Speaker 1: kind of girl who fucking wants to be that? You know,
• 50:13
  Speaker 1: somebody who's making everybody happy? You know, then you're just
• 50:16
  Speaker 1: a product of your society instead of being an original.
• 50:19
  Speaker 1: So focus on that and think about yourself as a
• 50:21
  Speaker 1: little girl, Like what would you do if it was
• 50:23
  Speaker 1: your daughter. You wouldn't allow You would be horrified for
• 50:25
  Speaker 1: her to feel this way. Right, It's not your job
• 50:28
  Speaker 1: to please everybody. It's your job a to please yourself
• 50:31
  Speaker 1: and make yourself and the people you love happy and
• 50:33
  Speaker 1: make them feel safe and secure in your relationship. But
• 50:36
  Speaker 1: beyond that, you don't have an obligation to the world,
• 50:40
  Speaker 1: you know, and you should start try some you know,
• 50:42
  Speaker 1: try headspace. Headspace has all these like beginning courses about that,
• 50:47
  Speaker 1: about the voices in your head, about that dialogue, and
• 50:50
  Speaker 1: about focusing, you know, and if you just even put
• 50:52
  Speaker 1: in five minutes a day of that, you just start
• 50:55
  Speaker 1: to create a different narrative in your head in a
• 50:57
  Speaker 1: different way that you're speaking to yourself, and that has
• 51:00
  Speaker 1: a domino effect. Yeah, you're a three dimensional person. You're
• 51:03
  Speaker 1: a human person too, and you have a right to
• 51:06
  Speaker 1: exist in this world and believe certain things and say
• 51:08
  Speaker 1: whatever you want. And if people don't like you because
• 51:12
  Speaker 1: you said one thing the night before, then they're not
• 51:15
  Speaker 1: really worth knowing. If they don't like you for the
• 51:18
  Speaker 1: three dimensional self that you are, like, if they really
• 51:22
  Speaker 1: are so affected by that, then holy sh it. And
• 51:25
  Speaker 1: I would also like to go on the record and
• 51:27
  Speaker 1: say that I am in Canada four months out of
• 51:29
  Speaker 1: the year and no Canadian has ever offended me, So
• 51:32
  Speaker 1: you also have that on your side. Thank you well.
• 51:36
  Speaker 1: And I just wanted to thank you Chelsea too. Besides
• 51:39
  Speaker 1: my mom, you're like a huge inspiration for just being
• 51:42
  Speaker 1: like an outspoken woman and still being mindful of other people,
• 51:46
  Speaker 1: but when somebody's trying to bring you down, just telling
• 51:49
  Speaker 1: them to get lost and just to be a strong woman.
• 51:52
  Speaker 1: And I just wanted to thank you for that. Well,
• 51:54
  Speaker 1: you're welcome, but you are. You're a strong woman too.
• 51:56
  Speaker 1: You know, we just have to tap into our reservoir
• 51:58
  Speaker 1: of strength and sometimes we don't strong, but you're strong.
• 52:02
  Speaker 1: Thank you appreciate that. Well, good luck with everything, and
• 52:05
  Speaker 1: please pick up those books. Okay, those two books, I
• 52:07
  Speaker 1: wrote them down. Great, great, I'm sure you can google
• 52:10
  Speaker 1: them and find them right away. Yeah, thank you so much.
• 52:13
  Speaker 1: I appreciate it. Thanks, take care you okay, speak to
• 52:17
  Speaker 1: you soon. Bye. Oh oh my god, I know, I know,
• 52:23
  Speaker 1: but you know something. When I experienced my first adult
• 52:27
  Speaker 1: self doubt or insecure phase, because I went for so
• 52:30
  Speaker 1: long without ever even thinking about what people thought about me,
• 52:33
  Speaker 1: just like you know, who cares like that arrogant attitude
• 52:36
  Speaker 1: almost and then going through my first bout of like, oh,
• 52:40
  Speaker 1: self examination, and then the self flagellation that goes with that,
• 52:45
  Speaker 1: where you go, oh wait a second, and then the
• 52:48
  Speaker 1: self consciousness that is coupled with that. It's such an
• 52:51
  Speaker 1: unpleasant and unwelcome feeling to be in his to be
• 52:55
  Speaker 1: worried all the time about something that other people are
• 52:59
  Speaker 1: not worrying about is not a great feeling. It can
• 53:03
  Speaker 1: be really debilitating, like just to get caught in that
• 53:07
  Speaker 1: and to like live to be just like so steeped
• 53:09
  Speaker 1: and worry. Yeah. Second, guessing yourself is not a fun
• 53:12
  Speaker 1: environment to be in, really not fun, not fun at all.
• 53:16
  Speaker 1: And I think also post pandemic, I kinda after my
• 53:19
  Speaker 1: first few interactions after that, I was like, Oh, we're
• 53:22
  Speaker 1: all just gonna be a little weird for a little while,
• 53:24
  Speaker 1: because I felt like I don't usually feel that way
• 53:27
  Speaker 1: that afterwards, like was I weird? Was I weird? And
• 53:31
  Speaker 1: I had engagement party for one of my cousins and
• 53:35
  Speaker 1: I felt like as I was talking to her sister
• 53:38
  Speaker 1: and my other cousin, I'm like, I just keep laughing
• 53:42
  Speaker 1: at all her stories. I don't know what to say
• 53:43
  Speaker 1: back to her, like thank god, she's telling so many
• 53:46
  Speaker 1: funny stories. And then the next day she texted me
• 53:49
  Speaker 1: and she's like, I'm sorry if I was talking too much,
• 53:51
  Speaker 1: Like I was like, oh, wait, we're all just going
• 53:52
  Speaker 1: to feel like we're acting really strange for a while.
• 53:55
  Speaker 1: You know. It does feel strange, yeah, And I'm like
• 53:57
  Speaker 1: really quick to anger, like little things. I'm like, ohs
• 54:01
  Speaker 1: angry about this. It's nothing. It is a bit of
• 54:05
  Speaker 1: a roller coaster seeing the lower part of people's faces. Yeah,
• 54:10
  Speaker 1: it is. And I definitely can relate to a post
• 54:14
  Speaker 1: pandemic socializing where I was like ship what am I
• 54:17
  Speaker 1: going to say now? Like, Okay, someone said something and
• 54:20
  Speaker 1: now it's my turn to return the tennis ball. And
• 54:23
  Speaker 1: I was like, I mean, even my sister goes, what
• 54:26
  Speaker 1: is wrong with you? I go, I don't know what
• 54:28
  Speaker 1: to say to people anymore. And I've never been short
• 54:30
  Speaker 1: for words, so I can only imagine what somebody who's
• 54:33
  Speaker 1: more shy or less sure of themselves must be feeling.
• 54:36
  Speaker 1: But yeah, for sure, the pandemic meet us all a
• 54:38
  Speaker 1: bit of a hot mess. Yeah, definitely. Well, our next
• 54:43
  Speaker 1: question comes from back. She's twenty eight. She says, Dear Chelsea,
• 54:48
  Speaker 1: I'm in a pickle. I have an intense fear that
• 54:51
  Speaker 1: my partner of two years will ultimately lose interest in
• 54:54
  Speaker 1: me and fall out of love eventually. My opinion of
• 54:57
  Speaker 1: men isn't exactly high. I seem to box my partner
• 55:00
  Speaker 1: into the same category that most men have fallen into
• 55:03
  Speaker 1: in my life, ultimately fickle, selfish, and ignorant. My self
• 55:07
  Speaker 1: esteem isn't the highest, and I'm riddled with anxiety that
• 55:10
  Speaker 1: he will find me less attractive as I get older,
• 55:12
  Speaker 1: or god forbid, bear his children. I'm constantly thinking of
• 55:16
  Speaker 1: self sabotaging the relationship as the fear of rejection is
• 55:20
  Speaker 1: so intense. How do I stay confident and address these
• 55:23
  Speaker 1: fears without projecting needy girlfriend vibes onto him love back. Well,
• 55:29
  Speaker 1: I would say that when you are living in fear
• 55:31
  Speaker 1: and based out of fear, you are going to perpetuate
• 55:35
  Speaker 1: that feeling and it can become a self fulfilling prophecy.
• 55:39
  Speaker 1: So you have to really work hard on getting yourself
• 55:42
  Speaker 1: out of that mindset because it's a waste of your time,
• 55:45
  Speaker 1: and it's a waste of your energy, and you're almost
• 55:47
  Speaker 1: working against yourself. So you've been with somebody for two
• 55:51
  Speaker 1: years and you have to start thinking. You know, every
• 55:54
  Speaker 1: negative thought comes with a positive counterpart. That's physics. Every
• 55:58
  Speaker 1: action has a reaction, and if you can start changing
• 56:01
  Speaker 1: that dialogue in your head, that's what you have to do. First,
• 56:05
  Speaker 1: you have to get in control of the fact that
• 56:07
  Speaker 1: you don't have control over the future. You have control
• 56:10
  Speaker 1: over how you behave You can't control what's going to
• 56:13
  Speaker 1: happen with your partner, if he's going to stay in
• 56:15
  Speaker 1: love with you, if he's going to remain in love
• 56:17
  Speaker 1: with you. You can only control how you conduct yourself.
• 56:20
  Speaker 1: So even if you don't believe it, right now that
• 56:23
  Speaker 1: you're worthy of all of that. You have to start
• 56:25
  Speaker 1: acting like it. You have to start believing that you
• 56:29
  Speaker 1: do have all of the things that you have that
• 56:30
  Speaker 1: you offer the relationship. You can't worry about aging. Everyone's aging.
• 56:34
  Speaker 1: You know, these are things that are happening to everybody.
• 56:36
  Speaker 1: So getting so hyper focused on this relationship and it
• 56:41
  Speaker 1: falling apart is a dangerous pattern of thought for you.
• 56:45
  Speaker 1: So there is a book that my friend told me
• 56:47
  Speaker 1: about once when she was feeling similar. It's called rejection Proof,
• 56:52
  Speaker 1: Rejection of Proof or rejection proof or something. I know
• 56:55
  Speaker 1: there's an umbrella on the cover because I have it
• 56:56
  Speaker 1: at my house, And of course I haven't read that
• 56:58
  Speaker 1: one yet, but I'll get to it. But you have
• 57:03
  Speaker 1: to really just start working on having a positive dialogue
• 57:07
  Speaker 1: with yourself. Immediately. Pick up as many books as you
• 57:11
  Speaker 1: can until you read something that strikes a chord within
• 57:14
  Speaker 1: you that you can like turn into a manifestation for yourself.
• 57:17
  Speaker 1: Because all of our wasted a time and energy is
• 57:20
  Speaker 1: spent on fear. And when you come from a place
• 57:22
  Speaker 1: of hope and positivity instead of fear, and you build
• 57:25
  Speaker 1: yourself up like to courage and bravery, then the fear
• 57:29
  Speaker 1: is eliminated, and it's down below and it's something that
• 57:31
  Speaker 1: you don't even recognize in yourself. But it's not gonna
• 57:34
  Speaker 1: happen overnight. You have to be an active participant in
• 57:36
  Speaker 1: getting yourself healthier. Oh, this is great advice. This is
• 57:40
  Speaker 1: great advice because it is hard to operate from a
• 57:42
  Speaker 1: place of fear and you can't control the future. You
• 57:45
  Speaker 1: have no say in how the future unfolds. I also
• 57:49
  Speaker 1: do think like if you're in a positive if you
• 57:52
  Speaker 1: really take a step back and you look at your
• 57:54
  Speaker 1: relationship and you go, actually, it's he's never given me
• 57:57
  Speaker 1: any indication that he's falling out of what we have
• 58:00
  Speaker 1: a very state. He would be very surprised to hear
• 58:04
  Speaker 1: that I am very worried about the future and these
• 58:06
  Speaker 1: kind of irrational thoughts. Like it's okay to have those
• 58:11
  Speaker 1: conversations with your partner, not dwell on them, but just
• 58:15
  Speaker 1: to honestly say, I'm having like irrational thoughts. Can I
• 58:20
  Speaker 1: just tell you what they are and then I can
• 58:22
  Speaker 1: maybe put them to rest. If your partner loves you,
• 58:26
  Speaker 1: which it sounds like you are in a really solid
• 58:29
  Speaker 1: relationship as long as you're not living and acting from
• 58:32
  Speaker 1: a place of fear all the time, if you're able
• 58:35
  Speaker 1: to talk about things that, like, you should be able
• 58:37
  Speaker 1: to talk about weird fears that you're having about the future,
• 58:40
  Speaker 1: Like you should be able to say that. I think
• 58:43
  Speaker 1: just before we got married and my husband was like,
• 58:46
  Speaker 1: I am worried that you're gonna that you're gonna like
• 58:48
  Speaker 1: have children and split because like I have some weird
• 58:51
  Speaker 1: family history and stuff. And he was like, I'm worried
• 58:53
  Speaker 1: that that's just like in your jeans maybe, And I
• 58:55
  Speaker 1: was like, I don't think it is, but I also don't,
• 59:00
  Speaker 1: but I don't think so. I think it's okay. And
• 59:02
  Speaker 1: I do think that if you're in a supportive relationship,
• 59:05
  Speaker 1: it's okay to like give voice to irrational fear once
• 59:08
  Speaker 1: in a while, and it's not it shouldn't be scary
• 59:11
  Speaker 1: for the other person because you do have to be
• 59:14
  Speaker 1: true to yourself. I think if you're like living in
• 59:16
  Speaker 1: that place all the time, then that's a different matter entirely.
• 59:19
  Speaker 1: But having a healthy dialogue with yourself is very important.
• 59:22
  Speaker 1: As Chelsea is saying, I think that's really really great advice. Yeah,
• 59:26
  Speaker 1: And I like what you're saying, you know, you that's
• 59:28
  Speaker 1: good advice, also talking about it voicing your fear. I
• 59:31
  Speaker 1: remember my girlfriend was going through a rough patch with
• 59:33
  Speaker 1: her boyfriend and she he he wanted a child and
• 59:36
  Speaker 1: she did it and that's why we're friends. She goes,
• 59:39
  Speaker 1: is it a deal breaker? But they've been together for
• 59:41
  Speaker 1: three or four years already, and he was like, I
• 59:43
  Speaker 1: don't know. I have to think about it. I didn't
• 59:46
  Speaker 1: realize this was so important to me. And she's like, well,
• 59:48
  Speaker 1: I need I need an answer. You need to tell me.
• 59:50
  Speaker 1: She's like, you have six weeks to figure it out,
• 59:52
  Speaker 1: and I was like, no, no, you cannot give someone
• 59:54
  Speaker 1: six weeks to figure this out. Like when you put
• 59:56
  Speaker 1: when you need a definitive answer on something, you're giving
• 59:59
  Speaker 1: something no, no space to breathe. You're not giving any
• 1:00:02
  Speaker 1: room for it to be okay. You know, because you
• 1:00:05
  Speaker 1: can't control the outcome. You can never control the outcome.
• 1:00:08
  Speaker 1: All you can control is how you conduct yourself and
• 1:00:10
  Speaker 1: your response to things. So I would definitely bring it
• 1:00:13
  Speaker 1: up with your partner. I'm sure him he'll probably say
• 1:00:15
  Speaker 1: something to you that will make you feel better and
• 1:00:17
  Speaker 1: better I mean, that will make you feel better about
• 1:00:19
  Speaker 1: the situation. But beyond that, it's your job to not
• 1:00:23
  Speaker 1: look to him to make you feel better all the time.
• 1:00:27
  Speaker 1: You know it's something you can bring up, but it's
• 1:00:28
  Speaker 1: not a burden for you to place on him, because
• 1:00:31
  Speaker 1: it's an inside conversation that you're having with yourself and
• 1:00:35
  Speaker 1: that needs to get stronger. Your sense of self needs
• 1:00:37
  Speaker 1: to get stronger. So hopefully you will be able to
• 1:00:40
  Speaker 1: have more open conversations because you know, nobody wants their
• 1:00:43
  Speaker 1: partner to feel like that. Who wants to see their
• 1:00:46
  Speaker 1: partner suffering like that or worried? Yeah, when you're two
• 1:00:49
  Speaker 1: years into a relationship, you don't have to pretend that
• 1:00:51
  Speaker 1: you love boxing or whatever it is, like whatever their
• 1:00:54
  Speaker 1: hobby is that you really can't stand, but you think
• 1:00:57
  Speaker 1: that you like. You pretend to like it so much
• 1:00:59
  Speaker 1: that you actual really think that you like it, and
• 1:01:01
  Speaker 1: then the moment that your relationship is over, you're like, oh,
• 1:01:03
  Speaker 1: I funking really hated that. Actually that wasn't really fun
• 1:01:06
  Speaker 1: at all. But like, you're so deep into the relationship
• 1:01:10
  Speaker 1: now you should be able to like be your true self,
• 1:01:14
  Speaker 1: and part of that is allowing letting that person know
• 1:01:17
  Speaker 1: that you're going to like that. You're also trying to
• 1:01:20
  Speaker 1: create a better dialogue inside yourself and that you're aware
• 1:01:23
  Speaker 1: that it might seem irrational, but it's okay to say
• 1:01:26
  Speaker 1: it out loud occasionally sometimes when I this something that
• 1:01:30
  Speaker 1: I do, if I you know, sometimes like in this
• 1:01:32
  Speaker 1: business and this is so weird, but I am going
• 1:01:34
  Speaker 1: to say it. You know, you're like you're always reading
• 1:01:37
  Speaker 1: stories about like opportunities all around you, and everybody's like,
• 1:01:40
  Speaker 1: what's he getting, what's she doing? What's this? Like? You sold? What?
• 1:01:43
  Speaker 1: Oh my god? And you get jealous. You get you
• 1:01:47
  Speaker 1: have like these eruptions of jealousy and even though you're
• 1:01:50
  Speaker 1: doing really well and this seems so crazy, like why
• 1:01:53
  Speaker 1: would you be jealous? Why would you be thinking about
• 1:01:55
  Speaker 1: opportunities that someone else is getting? Like how is that
• 1:01:58
  Speaker 1: relevant to you? But it happened in erupts and I
• 1:02:02
  Speaker 1: personally like to give it a voice. I like, we'll
• 1:02:05
  Speaker 1: take my husband and I'll go, oh, I feel so
• 1:02:07
  Speaker 1: jealous today and here's why. And he's like, oh my god,
• 1:02:10
  Speaker 1: what is wrong with you? And I'm like, I have
• 1:02:11
  Speaker 1: to just say it out loud in order for me
• 1:02:14
  Speaker 1: to disperse it. The more I hold it, the more
• 1:02:17
  Speaker 1: real it gets, And that's very unhealthy. Sometimes I need
• 1:02:21
  Speaker 1: to say it out loud because I need to hear
• 1:02:23
  Speaker 1: what it sounds like in real life. And the moment
• 1:02:27
  Speaker 1: I hear myself say it, I go, oh, okay, and
• 1:02:30
  Speaker 1: it's just like he races. So I don't know if
• 1:02:33
  Speaker 1: that's I like that. I like that, especially with somebody
• 1:02:36
  Speaker 1: that you can trust. I remember once telling my sister
• 1:02:39
  Speaker 1: years ago a friend of mine got a huge opportunity
• 1:02:41
  Speaker 1: and I was the one who had, you know, brought
• 1:02:43
  Speaker 1: her into stand up and introduced her to stand up
• 1:02:45
  Speaker 1: and encourage her to do it. And then she got
• 1:02:47
  Speaker 1: a big break before I did, and I had all
• 1:02:49
  Speaker 1: these feelings of envy and jealousy. And I was in
• 1:02:52
  Speaker 1: my twenties, and I called my sister and I told her,
• 1:02:55
  Speaker 1: I go, I feel so terrible. I'm so jealous. But
• 1:02:57
  Speaker 1: she's my friend and and she's like, it's how to
• 1:03:00
  Speaker 1: really fine? She's like, just tell something. You tell me,
• 1:03:03
  Speaker 1: that's okay. Just don't As long as you don't act
• 1:03:05
  Speaker 1: on the jealousy, you're almost expunging it by giving it
• 1:03:08
  Speaker 1: a voice. And I think that's great to remember. You know,
• 1:03:11
  Speaker 1: you have somebody in your life that you can trust
• 1:03:13
  Speaker 1: and always confide in, and that should be your person
• 1:03:16
  Speaker 1: that you can say the things that you're embarrassed to say,
• 1:03:18
  Speaker 1: and sometimes when you do, hear them out loud. Just
• 1:03:20
  Speaker 1: like Samantha just said, You're like, Okay, anything I'm operating on,
• 1:03:25
  Speaker 1: You're like, that's just too stupid. I was holding on
• 1:03:28
  Speaker 1: to that for too long. Okay, let's move forward. Yeah,
• 1:03:32
  Speaker 1: give yourself the room to be vulnerable. Right, Well, we'll
• 1:03:36
  Speaker 1: take a quick break and we'll be back to wrap
• 1:03:39
  Speaker 1: up with Samantha B and Chelsea. Okay, and we're back. Great, Okay,
• 1:03:51
  Speaker 1: this is fun. Yeah, good advice giving Samantha awesome high stakes.
• 1:03:57
  Speaker 1: I love it. These are real, these are real lives.
• 1:04:00
  Speaker 1: These are like very relatable issues, very relatable. Well, speaking
• 1:04:05
  Speaker 1: of relatable issues, sam do you have any advice you'd
• 1:04:09
  Speaker 1: like to ask from Chelsea? Here's a question and this
• 1:04:12
  Speaker 1: is like, okay, okay, this isn't going to sound like
• 1:04:15
  Speaker 1: anyone who knows me and anyone who works with me
• 1:04:20
  Speaker 1: will think that this question is insane because it's very
• 1:04:23
  Speaker 1: unlike me. I don't. You're very open about drug use,
• 1:04:28
  Speaker 1: very open about drug use, very open about all of that, pharmaceuticals,
• 1:04:31
  Speaker 1: all of that, and no one ever offers me drugs
• 1:04:34
  Speaker 1: of any kind and I don't know what it is
• 1:04:36
  Speaker 1: about me obviously like such a nerd and it's because
• 1:04:41
  Speaker 1: you're from look, Canada. Whatever one thing that I would
• 1:04:46
  Speaker 1: like to try after watching the whole documentary about fungi
• 1:04:51
  Speaker 1: on Netflix, which I loved, and I was like this,
• 1:04:55
  Speaker 1: I feel like that documentary about fungi, like fantastic Fungi
• 1:05:00
  Speaker 1: was so was almost like a spiritual experience for me
• 1:05:03
  Speaker 1: watching that. Should I try magic mushrooms? I think you
• 1:05:07
  Speaker 1: have to because it is so, because it's so I
• 1:05:11
  Speaker 1: took yesterday. I take a little chocolate square of magic
• 1:05:13
  Speaker 1: mushrooms almost every day, almost every day. I haven't taken
• 1:05:17
  Speaker 1: it today. I wish I had now that we're talking
• 1:05:19
  Speaker 1: about it, so I could just But there is there
• 1:05:22
  Speaker 1: is a mental clarity that you can reach. You don't
• 1:05:26
  Speaker 1: have to go bonkers and go dose yourself. But right
• 1:05:29
  Speaker 1: now there's so many in Canada. Everyone has mushrooms, they
• 1:05:32
  Speaker 1: have micro dose fifty milligrams, it's whatever you want. I
• 1:05:36
  Speaker 1: like it in chocolate because I just gives me a
• 1:05:38
  Speaker 1: better like upper. But there is a mental clarity that
• 1:05:41
  Speaker 1: isn't naturally available to me. It is an upper in
• 1:05:46
  Speaker 1: a way where you don't feel like you're on a drug,
• 1:05:49
  Speaker 1: you know, like mushrooms. If you take silicide and you
• 1:05:51
  Speaker 1: want to do a proper dose or you want to
• 1:05:53
  Speaker 1: do a guided you know dose for healing purposes, that's
• 1:05:56
  Speaker 1: a different situation, and I would encourage that for people
• 1:05:58
  Speaker 1: who are dealing with trauma anything that they want to,
• 1:06:01
  Speaker 1: you know, kind of tackle. But I think there is
• 1:06:03
  Speaker 1: really nothing to lose. You kind of just see everything
• 1:06:06
  Speaker 1: from a little bit more. It taps into a part
• 1:06:09
  Speaker 1: of your brain where you are able to be up,
• 1:06:11
  Speaker 1: you're clear minded, you're not you know, off your rocker,
• 1:06:15
  Speaker 1: and you're able to be productive and sound. So it
• 1:06:19
  Speaker 1: kind of adds to whatever you've already got going on naturally.
• 1:06:22
  Speaker 1: Do you think that because I've never done them before,
• 1:06:26
  Speaker 1: that I'll have a really because I've had like I've
• 1:06:28
  Speaker 1: taken I've taken up in the past and had such
• 1:06:30
  Speaker 1: bad experiences, do you think that I would be at
• 1:06:34
  Speaker 1: risk for having a really bad experience just from the
• 1:06:36
  Speaker 1: stress of like just from being kind of tense about
• 1:06:39
  Speaker 1: it but really wanting but really I feel like it
• 1:06:42
  Speaker 1: could be really beneficial to me, but I'm also terrified, Like,
• 1:06:46
  Speaker 1: do you think that the terror will cause me to
• 1:06:48
  Speaker 1: have a bad experience. I honestly think if you have
• 1:06:50
  Speaker 1: that kind of fear, you should just have the most
• 1:06:52
  Speaker 1: minimal possible amount you can have, like a half of
• 1:06:55
  Speaker 1: a micro dose to allay your fear, because once you
• 1:06:58
  Speaker 1: do that, you're gonna understand I'm not going to be
• 1:07:00
  Speaker 1: overwhelmed by this, and then your fear will abate, and
• 1:07:03
  Speaker 1: then by the time it does, you can introduce whatever
• 1:07:07
  Speaker 1: minuscule amount and it's almost an imperceptible feeling when it's
• 1:07:11
  Speaker 1: done right. When you don't have too much, like fifty
• 1:07:14
  Speaker 1: milligrams of psilocybin is not going to affect you in
• 1:07:17
  Speaker 1: any deleterious. You're not gonna lose it, You're not gonna
• 1:07:20
  Speaker 1: get overwhelmed. You're just gonna have a little bit of
• 1:07:23
  Speaker 1: a feeling of like, oh, oh, everything is brighter and
• 1:07:27
  Speaker 1: clearer and I am my mind is clear. And it
• 1:07:31
  Speaker 1: adds to whatever you're already working with. You know, on
• 1:07:33
  Speaker 1: on a brain mechanical level, and there are so many
• 1:07:37
  Speaker 1: parts of our brain that we're not accessing, and when
• 1:07:39
  Speaker 1: you do something like that, you are accessing a part
• 1:07:42
  Speaker 1: of your brain and you feel it. You're like, oh gosh,
• 1:07:45
  Speaker 1: so I just yeah, the fear is definitely something to
• 1:07:47
  Speaker 1: be considered, but you just even take it easier because
• 1:07:50
  Speaker 1: you just have to remember, this isn't a drug. You're
• 1:07:51
  Speaker 1: not trying to get sucked up. You're just you're just
• 1:07:53
  Speaker 1: trying to like enhance. It's an enhancer. We talked about
• 1:07:56
  Speaker 1: it at dinner last night, and we're talking to just
• 1:07:58
  Speaker 1: about the efects of it and how people don't understand
• 1:08:02
  Speaker 1: how it enhances almost every experience, a work experience, a
• 1:08:06
  Speaker 1: play experience, or even a family experience. Oh great, because
• 1:08:10
  Speaker 1: I don't, like I'm not up for seeing like elves
• 1:08:13
  Speaker 1: running under the sofa, Like I don't not really, that's
• 1:08:17
  Speaker 1: how the experience I'm looking for. It was just like
• 1:08:19
  Speaker 1: what does this mean? Like what could this unlock inside? Yes,
• 1:08:24
  Speaker 1: that's a great way to look at it. Yeah, like
• 1:08:28
  Speaker 1: is that is that a possibility? And how long will
• 1:08:30
  Speaker 1: it last? And will I be normal in front of
• 1:08:31
  Speaker 1: my children? So maybe I'll do it like by myself. Yeah,
• 1:08:35
  Speaker 1: it doesn't last forever, don't worry. It's like a couple
• 1:08:37
  Speaker 1: of hours maybe, And you know, and again, it's not
• 1:08:41
  Speaker 1: like you're going to have to be like tripping in
• 1:08:43
  Speaker 1: a room in the dark, like it's not like that.
• 1:08:45
  Speaker 1: You just go about your business like you would any
• 1:08:47
  Speaker 1: other day. You know, try it on a day where
• 1:08:49
  Speaker 1: you don't have to do a lot, so that you're
• 1:08:51
  Speaker 1: not like worried about that. But just to create the
• 1:08:54
  Speaker 1: confidence in your psyche that you're okay and you're not
• 1:08:56
  Speaker 1: going to freak out. Is to do it as minimally
• 1:08:59
  Speaker 1: as possible and so that you could kind of understand
• 1:09:02
  Speaker 1: it better. I love this. This is good advice. Okay,
• 1:09:05
  Speaker 1: I needed to talk that through. Okay, Like, talk to
• 1:09:08
  Speaker 1: me next week when I'm like playing the mandolin at
• 1:09:11
  Speaker 1: a renaissance fair. I'm like, I gave it all up.
• 1:09:13
  Speaker 1: I'll probably just mail you some magic mushrooms from from
• 1:09:19
  Speaker 1: some other name to another name, but they'll get to
• 1:09:21
  Speaker 1: you somehow. We'll make you. We'll find our way, just
• 1:09:24
  Speaker 1: like a Magellan. Okay, you calmed me down. I really do.
• 1:09:27
  Speaker 1: I think it would be so. I feel like it
• 1:09:29
  Speaker 1: would be good for me because I am like pretty
• 1:09:31
  Speaker 1: uptight and kind of a control freak in my own home,
• 1:09:33
  Speaker 1: like and walking around sorting laundry. It's boring. I would
• 1:09:37
  Speaker 1: like to try a new version of myself in a
• 1:09:39
  Speaker 1: minor way. It would be nice to let go a
• 1:09:42
  Speaker 1: little awesome. I'm a love drug question. So yeah, and
• 1:09:45
  Speaker 1: plus every by the way, everyone is doing it, you
• 1:09:48
  Speaker 1: know what I mean, and everyone's loving it like it's
• 1:09:51
  Speaker 1: getting rave reviews. So this is the moment. This is
• 1:09:55
  Speaker 1: my time. So Chelsea, one question about that. I am
• 1:09:58
  Speaker 1: also a person who has never done magic mushrooms, but
• 1:10:01
  Speaker 1: people often recommend doing them in nature. Do you think,
• 1:10:04
  Speaker 1: like even from microdos, would you say, like head out
• 1:10:07
  Speaker 1: doors or do you always Okay, yeah, I mean you know,
• 1:10:11
  Speaker 1: I I could do it inside too, but like, no,
• 1:10:14
  Speaker 1: it enhances everything and the colors of the leaves on
• 1:10:17
  Speaker 1: the trees, the nature that you're seeing. Yeah, it enhance.
• 1:10:20
  Speaker 1: It's just an enhance her. So to understand it better
• 1:10:24
  Speaker 1: is to be in nature, you know, because then you
• 1:10:26
  Speaker 1: really have a connection and you realize like, oh, okay,
• 1:10:29
  Speaker 1: this is this is you understand how kind of small
• 1:10:33
  Speaker 1: you are and how amazing everything is. Like that we're
• 1:10:35
  Speaker 1: all sitting here, you know, functioning. It's just kind of
• 1:10:38
  Speaker 1: like it's got that vibe to it too, where you're
• 1:10:40
  Speaker 1: just really happy and grateful that you get to be
• 1:10:43
  Speaker 1: like here doing your thing. I love this. Okay, all right,
• 1:10:48
  Speaker 1: that's great, that's cool. Well, Sam will do mushrooms together. Okay, okay, perfect, awesome,
• 1:10:54
  Speaker 1: Well where can everyone find you? She's going to be
• 1:10:57
  Speaker 1: in the wood doing mushrooms with her podcast. Full East
• 1:11:00
  Speaker 1: is the podcast I'm going to be a guest on
• 1:11:03
  Speaker 1: as well, probably the very same week that you're a
• 1:11:05
  Speaker 1: guest on mine. We released on Tuesdays. When when do
• 1:11:08
  Speaker 1: you release? Release on Thursdays? Thursday's Tuesday, Thursday. We do
• 1:11:13
  Speaker 1: a full release on Thursday, and then Full Frontal with
• 1:11:17
  Speaker 1: Samantha b is in its seventh season yep, Thursdays at
• 1:11:20
  Speaker 1: seven pm on TBS. Oh god, thank you so much, Samantha.
• 1:11:24
  Speaker 1: I had a wonderful morning with you. I mean, we've
• 1:11:25
  Speaker 1: spent more time together probably that I've spent with anyone
• 1:11:28
  Speaker 1: other than my boyfriend this year, and we just met,
• 1:11:31
  Speaker 1: so we're off to a really great start. I loved it.
• 1:11:34
  Speaker 1: Thank you so much for talking me through this and
• 1:11:36
  Speaker 1: for oh my god for bringing me on. That was
• 1:11:38
  Speaker 1: like emotional. I know it can get emotional. Yeah, I
• 1:11:42
  Speaker 1: loved it. I want all the people who ask questions
• 1:11:45
  Speaker 1: to take your advice and run with it anyway. Thank
• 1:11:48
  Speaker 1: you so much. It was great to have a great
• 1:11:50
  Speaker 1: day you too. Bye bye. Bye, And if you'd like
• 1:11:54
  Speaker 1: to get advice from Chelsea and one of her guests,
• 1:11:57
  Speaker 1: please write into Dear Chelsea Project at gmail dot com.