Latest / Do You F*cking Mind? / 411. Mindset around purpose, life satisfaction & goal setting with Stefanie aka my sister

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411. Mindset around purpose, life satisfaction & goal setting with Stefanie aka my sister · Do You F*cking Mind?

• 0:11
  Speaker 1: Hello, beautiful beans, are welcome to the podcast episode of today.
• 0:15
  Speaker 1: I'm very excited because I've got my favorite guest of
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: all time on the podcast, my sister Stephanie.
• 0:20
  Speaker 2: Hello, thank you you.
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: I think you were You'll Live were the first guest.
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: Live was the first and I think actual you're like live.
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: It's burnt into my mind. I know, yeah, I think
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: you Live.
• 0:33
  Speaker 2: Spoke about friends as adult.
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm number one fan. She's listened
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: to every single episode of my podcast. Is my biggest supporter.
• 0:44
  Speaker 1: But the last time I had you on was literally
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: in twenty twenty.
• 0:48
  Speaker 2: Yes, because I think I was heading off for you
• 0:51
  Speaker 2: to you you were first scond season.
• 0:54
  Speaker 1: Yeah, probably the second season at that point. Yeah, because
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: she was on the Australian Bob sled team for you know,
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: as one does. So I'm really excited to have you back.
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: Because Stephanie, if you guys are a member, well you
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: would you would have met her potentially on two occasions.
• 1:07
  Speaker 1: If you're a member of the Facebook group. Stephanie is
• 1:10
  Speaker 1: the moderator. She's she's she's really doing jeez. I was like,
• 1:14
  Speaker 1: I'm sorry for thanks so harsh. She's doing God's work
• 1:17
  Speaker 1: on there, and she also was the merch salesperson at
• 1:23
  Speaker 1: the Sydney Live Show.
• 1:24
  Speaker 2: So great work to everyone who came and inundated me
• 1:28
  Speaker 2: with and also.
• 1:30
  Speaker 1: With So we have Stephanie again. She's going to be
• 1:35
  Speaker 1: manning all the merch stalls at the entire Live show.
• 1:38
  Speaker 1: She's coming to every single show around Australia. So I'm
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: very excited. See if you haven't met her, you will
• 1:43
  Speaker 1: get to meet her at the live show. So we're
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: very pumped. But I wanted to bring pipe. I call
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: her pipe. Long story, I'm not even going to try
• 1:51
  Speaker 1: and explain that. Why do I call you pipe? Oh? Okay?
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: So when I was a child, I had like I
• 1:59
  Speaker 1: couldn't pronounce my I had like a big lisp, and
• 2:02
  Speaker 1: so everyone would call Stephanie Stephie and I couldn't say that,
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: so I called her Beppy, which I still do. I
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: still call her.
• 2:09
  Speaker 2: Beye and she'll turn say to me, Beppy, what do
• 2:13
  Speaker 2: you have? What are you having? Fluffy white dogs?
• 2:15
  Speaker 1: I've got her saved in my phone as Beby, and
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: even the whole family now calls you Bebby because I
• 2:21
  Speaker 1: called you Bebby. But then from Beppy, then we've evolved
• 2:24
  Speaker 1: it to pipe sometimes, so I interchange your name from
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: Beby to pipe anyway. So I've got Bebby on the
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: podcast very so not nothing close to Stephanie, and I
• 2:35
  Speaker 1: thought I would get her back on because we discuss
• 2:38
  Speaker 1: everything that I talk about in the podcast. We discuss
• 2:41
  Speaker 1: in depth and in length, all kinds of things, all
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: questions that people write in. We're very like, I feel
• 2:46
  Speaker 1: like we're really philosophical with our conversations and we don't
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: stop talking. We went to we went to the Easter
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: Show with Tyrone, the three of us, and Tyrone was like,
• 2:57
  Speaker 1: we got there at ten a m. We left a
• 2:59
  Speaker 1: five pm. There was no one breath, not one breath
• 3:01
  Speaker 1: that the two of you talk. You were just talking.
• 3:03
  Speaker 2: Well, we went to the food pavilion and that's entire.
• 3:06
  Speaker 2: It's like I'm thinking of going to the food pavilion
• 3:07
  Speaker 2: and Ali and I like, yes, we got we were
• 3:09
  Speaker 2: going to go as well. He's okay, well how about
• 3:13
  Speaker 2: you walk at your pace and I walk at MI
• 3:15
  Speaker 2: because I think it was Jack.
• 3:17
  Speaker 1: He was like I just need some peace, yeah, and
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: then he was just like sitting there like traumatized at
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: the two GB stand for so long ago getting away
• 3:25
  Speaker 1: from us.
• 3:27
  Speaker 2: So yeah.
• 3:27
  Speaker 1: But anyway, so one the main theme that I thought
• 3:30
  Speaker 1: we would cover, because we could cover probably a thousand themes,
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: is kind of along the lines of goal setting, accountability,
• 3:37
  Speaker 1: but also consistency. Stephani is the most consistent person you'll
• 3:42
  Speaker 1: ever meet, and in a good way, like not like
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: that it ruins her life or that she's boring. She's
• 3:48
  Speaker 1: consistent in a way that it allows for quite a
• 3:50
  Speaker 1: lot of freedom in her life. So I wanted to
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: talk about that. I think a lot of people get
• 3:54
  Speaker 1: really excited about starting something new in their life, but
• 3:58
  Speaker 1: then they get into like the quote unquote boring stages
• 4:01
  Speaker 1: of actually actioning it and it's not it doesn't feel exciting,
• 4:04
  Speaker 1: or they don't know how to stay excited about it
• 4:06
  Speaker 1: or stay on track. So I kind of want to
• 4:07
  Speaker 1: talk about that. I did get people to write in questions,
• 4:11
  Speaker 1: so maybe I'll start with a couple of questions, and
• 4:13
  Speaker 1: mind you, we're going to go on a tangent for
• 4:16
  Speaker 1: every single question, so that's fine, But let's start with
• 4:21
  Speaker 1: first question. Do you allow yourself to take breaks when
• 4:26
  Speaker 1: working on a goal? And if so, what does that
• 4:28
  Speaker 1: look like?
• 4:29
  Speaker 2: Okay, so breaks, I think we spoke about this last podcast.
• 4:34
  Speaker 2: Day break pajama day. Yeah, a break for me is
• 4:37
  Speaker 2: a pagama day, and I will do a day not
• 4:40
  Speaker 2: very often and often it'll I When I do it, it'll
• 4:43
  Speaker 2: be between my two shifts.
• 4:47
  Speaker 1: Can you break down what you exactly do for work?
• 4:49
  Speaker 1: Because I think I'm a.
• 4:50
  Speaker 2: Firefighter and I we work twenty four hour shifts in
• 4:52
  Speaker 2: New South Wales, so we'll do twenty four hours on,
• 4:54
  Speaker 2: then we have twenty four off, twenty four on and
• 4:56
  Speaker 2: then we have five days off and then we're back.
• 4:58
  Speaker 2: So it's an eight day cycle. So if you work Monday,
• 5:01
  Speaker 2: you work Wednesday, and then your Tuesday Thursday, and it
• 5:04
  Speaker 2: sort of stuggers its way down the week. So if
• 5:07
  Speaker 2: I do do a pajama day, I like to do
• 5:09
  Speaker 2: it in that in between day, especially if I've had
• 5:11
  Speaker 2: a busy shift and that day is a bedrock day,
• 5:16
  Speaker 2: It's great and it'll be a day off the gym.
• 5:19
  Speaker 2: I'll do. If I'm going to do anything around the house,
• 5:22
  Speaker 2: it'll be tending to my plants because I'm a plant
• 5:25
  Speaker 2: nerd and she's.
• 5:26
  Speaker 1: Got about one hundred and thirty plants in the dining room,
• 5:31
  Speaker 1: all of them.
• 5:33
  Speaker 2: If I'm doing anything. I'll tend to my plants and
• 5:37
  Speaker 2: that's basically the extent of my tasks for the day,
• 5:40
  Speaker 2: and the rest is just anything I want to do,
• 5:43
  Speaker 2: and that even doom scrolling. I'll just let myself have
• 5:46
  Speaker 2: a day where by the end of the day, I'm like,
• 5:48
  Speaker 2: I'm done, I'm done with this. Yeah, I don't think
• 5:50
  Speaker 2: I could do another day like this, and I don't.
• 5:52
  Speaker 2: And then I'm brock on task the next day because
• 5:55
  Speaker 2: I've had it. That's my break.
• 5:57
  Speaker 1: Like you've rested so hard that you're like, now.
• 6:00
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm really itching now to do something yeah with
• 6:03
  Speaker 2: my life because I had that day, and that recharges
• 6:05
  Speaker 2: you for quite a long time.
• 6:07
  Speaker 1: Yeah, in a couple of weeks, because then you also
• 6:10
  Speaker 1: because yes, you have because you do a lot of
• 6:13
  Speaker 1: stuff outside of the fire, is even on those five days. Yes, yeah,
• 6:17
  Speaker 1: So I like everything.
• 6:18
  Speaker 2: I like to train, Yes, go to the gym quite often.
• 6:22
  Speaker 2: I do the therapy with Gracie, which is good fun.
• 6:25
  Speaker 2: So I take one of my dogs to a nursing homes.
• 6:28
  Speaker 2: I have a very affectionate dog and she likes to
• 6:31
  Speaker 2: hug the oldiers at the nursing home.
• 6:32
  Speaker 1: So she literally got like you got you had to
• 6:35
  Speaker 1: get a qualified. Yeah, a whole call.
• 6:36
  Speaker 2: So you do a behavioral qualification with your dog, so
• 6:39
  Speaker 2: they have to be really easy going, which she is
• 6:41
  Speaker 2: my dog. She's a loose unit, but she is the
• 6:45
  Speaker 2: most crazy. The other day we went to Yochi, yeah town,
• 6:49
  Speaker 2: on Antac day. It was pumping and I cook the
• 6:52
  Speaker 2: dog and I tied her up to this bench and
• 6:54
  Speaker 2: we were queueing and every so off and I'm sort
• 6:56
  Speaker 2: of ducking my head out the queue and looking at her.
• 6:58
  Speaker 2: And at one stage there's a man standing next to
• 7:01
  Speaker 2: the bench that I had tied her up on. She's
• 7:03
  Speaker 2: standing on the bench with her pause over his oh
• 7:05
  Speaker 2: oh my god, and he's taking oh my god, oh
• 7:09
  Speaker 2: my god, says went outside. I'm like, I'm so sorry.
• 7:11
  Speaker 2: She's just really friends. I love her.
• 7:14
  Speaker 1: She's just oh my god.
• 7:16
  Speaker 2: Yeah, she's like that. That is the best. Yeah. I
• 7:20
  Speaker 2: do coach at CrossFit as well, so I do a
• 7:23
  Speaker 2: couple of sessions of that a week. I tend to
• 7:25
  Speaker 2: my million plants. Yep.
• 7:27
  Speaker 1: And then you are Air Force reserve.
• 7:29
  Speaker 2: I'm an Air Force reservist as well, so I do that.
• 7:31
  Speaker 2: What else do I do? It's I don't feel like
• 7:35
  Speaker 2: I do a lot.
• 7:36
  Speaker 1: I feel like you do. I feel like you're always
• 7:38
  Speaker 1: doing something.
• 7:39
  Speaker 2: But she tried.
• 7:40
  Speaker 1: When she says that she does CrossFit, she's like she
• 7:42
  Speaker 1: trains very intensely.
• 7:45
  Speaker 2: I like to train intent. I love CrossFit because I
• 7:47
  Speaker 2: suck at so many elements of it. So I really
• 7:49
  Speaker 2: love the fact that I'm constantly having to work on
• 7:52
  Speaker 2: things that I'm terrible at. There's things that I'm good at. Obviously,
• 7:56
  Speaker 2: everyone finds something that they're good at it, but there's
• 7:58
  Speaker 2: a lot of elements, all gymnastic things. My proportions.
• 8:03
  Speaker 1: I'm not made for gymnastic because she's tall and very
• 8:07
  Speaker 1: muscular as well, so I feel like you've got to
• 8:10
  Speaker 1: be quite like.
• 8:11
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so a handsa is just an eternity. There's a
• 8:14
  Speaker 2: lot of things that are because you've got long arms,
• 8:16
  Speaker 2: just not I'm just not built for. So I love it.
• 8:19
  Speaker 2: I love it because it's awesome to pick something that
• 8:21
  Speaker 2: you suck at.
• 8:22
  Speaker 1: Because okay, so let's talk about that before going into
• 8:25
  Speaker 1: more questions. I want to talk about that because I
• 8:28
  Speaker 1: think this is where a lot of people get stuck.
• 8:30
  Speaker 1: It's like, it's exciting to like something that you're good at, obviously,
• 8:34
  Speaker 1: because you can excel and whatever, But how do you
• 8:37
  Speaker 1: find the joy in things that you're not that great at?
• 8:42
  Speaker 2: See that's so that's really interesting because you said this,
• 8:45
  Speaker 2: it's exciting to be, you know, keen or working towards
• 8:49
  Speaker 2: something that you're good at. Yes, to an extent, but
• 8:52
  Speaker 2: that comes with a lot of anxiety as well. So
• 8:54
  Speaker 2: when I wasn't.
• 8:55
  Speaker 1: Asked, yeah, like you attached out.
• 8:57
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so there's a lot that comes with that. When
• 8:59
  Speaker 2: you're good at something, it's like, oh my god, the
• 9:02
  Speaker 2: most So I'm quite good at indoor rowing at the
• 9:04
  Speaker 2: moment I've been.
• 9:06
  Speaker 1: She's not just quite good. She holds the world record
• 9:09
  Speaker 1: for the five hundred meter indoor row for women.
• 9:13
  Speaker 2: So when like legit, I did Nationals, which was an
• 9:16
  Speaker 2: online event, which meant that I was doing it at
• 9:18
  Speaker 2: three am in my lounge room because that was the
• 9:21
  Speaker 2: international time of the final. And I won that, which
• 9:24
  Speaker 2: I was stoked about. Now, a few weeks later, a
• 9:27
  Speaker 2: friend of mine and myself we went to Tazzy to
• 9:29
  Speaker 2: compete at the Police and Fiery Games and I did
• 9:33
  Speaker 2: the indoor rowing event there and I knew I was
• 9:36
  Speaker 2: a good chance to win it, and you probably would
• 9:38
  Speaker 2: win it. I haven't been that anxious before an event
• 9:43
  Speaker 2: for such a long time. So you attach a lot.
• 9:45
  Speaker 1: Too, which is because you know you're good at it.
• 9:47
  Speaker 1: So you have a level of expectation being like I
• 9:49
  Speaker 1: already hold this particular time, that's it, and it's like
• 9:53
  Speaker 1: a very good time.
• 9:55
  Speaker 2: Yeah, So I really like not that. I'm like, I'm
• 9:57
  Speaker 2: not an athlete anymore. I like to call myself a
• 10:00
  Speaker 2: competitor now because I was an athlete and that comes
• 10:03
  Speaker 2: with a lot of single mindedness in your life and
• 10:05
  Speaker 2: all that sort of stuff. So I like to think
• 10:07
  Speaker 2: of myself as far more holistic, So I'll call myself
• 10:09
  Speaker 2: a competitor, which sorry, a few people get like, oh,
• 10:12
  Speaker 2: you're an athlete, Like no, no, let that life is gone.
• 10:16
  Speaker 2: Let me let I like the competitor think. So to
• 10:19
  Speaker 2: have like winning it doesn't really mean anything anymore, but
• 10:23
  Speaker 2: you still attach a lot of stuff to something that
• 10:26
  Speaker 2: you're good at it. There's a lot of expectation. People come,
• 10:29
  Speaker 2: your friends come, they support you, and you're like, oh,
• 10:31
  Speaker 2: I really have to perform, Like you pin a lot
• 10:33
  Speaker 2: of that on yourself. Whereas when you're not good at something,
• 10:37
  Speaker 2: there's a lot of freedom that comes from that, and
• 10:39
  Speaker 2: it's fun, Like you can actually grow from not being
• 10:43
  Speaker 2: good at something. You can have fun with it, you
• 10:45
  Speaker 2: can play with it, you can it's just so freeing
• 10:49
  Speaker 2: to be like, they have this period in my life.
• 10:51
  Speaker 2: Hopefully one day I won't be here all the time.
• 10:54
  Speaker 2: Hopefully one day I'll be good at it. But there
• 10:57
  Speaker 2: is a period of time when you're not good at
• 10:59
  Speaker 2: something whereas quite free and fun, and it's a really
• 11:02
  Speaker 2: enjoyable period as well. Yeah, take that side of it
• 11:05
  Speaker 2: as well. You know, it's like when you can play
• 11:09
  Speaker 2: around with things more. It's when you can I don't know,
• 11:12
  Speaker 2: it's like when you start anything. When you started acting,
• 11:15
  Speaker 2: it was fun. Then you started going to auditions and
• 11:17
  Speaker 2: being good, and it became stressful. You started touching a
• 11:20
  Speaker 2: lot of other elements.
• 11:21
  Speaker 1: Yeah, Like you when you'd get to like the final round,
• 11:24
  Speaker 1: and then if you do an audition and they wouldn't
• 11:26
  Speaker 1: even give you a callback, you're like, why.
• 11:28
  Speaker 2: What have I done wrong?
• 11:29
  Speaker 1: And whereas at the start you're like, I'll take any
• 11:31
  Speaker 1: audition I can get. I don't care, it's fine.
• 11:33
  Speaker 2: And it was all like experience and it was all fun,
• 11:35
  Speaker 2: and it was that time of just pure innocent growth
• 11:39
  Speaker 2: and fun.
• 11:40
  Speaker 1: Yeah, great. I've even experienced that with the podcast at times,
• 11:44
  Speaker 1: and then like once you check yourself and go like okay, no, no, no,
• 11:47
  Speaker 1: and then like you remind yourself of you know, like
• 11:50
  Speaker 1: the reason that you did it in the first place.
• 11:52
  Speaker 1: But yeah, there have been times where I've noticed myself
• 11:56
  Speaker 1: have an expectation of the downloads of where I should
• 12:00
  Speaker 1: be on the charts, and then I try not to
• 12:03
  Speaker 1: look at that too much anymore because I'm like that
• 12:05
  Speaker 1: then is me thinking, well, then what have I done wrong?
• 12:08
  Speaker 1: Or what have I done right? If I have a
• 12:10
  Speaker 1: like a week that dips versus another way, you know,
• 12:13
  Speaker 1: instead of thinking, well, there's many factors that would determine that,
• 12:17
  Speaker 1: and really like there's so much that's not in my
• 12:21
  Speaker 1: control in this industry, you know.
• 12:22
  Speaker 2: And also you learn from previous experiences, like you know
• 12:26
  Speaker 2: that that's not helpful. Like when I was an athlete,
• 12:30
  Speaker 2: that level of anxiety and focusing on an outcome and
• 12:33
  Speaker 2: knowing that you needed to achieve certain things and weighing
• 12:36
  Speaker 2: so much on it wasn't beneficial. So now I can
• 12:40
  Speaker 2: look at it differently. And when I was in TAZZI
• 12:42
  Speaker 2: and I was like, I'm really anxious about this race
• 12:45
  Speaker 2: and you feel the jitters and your palms are a
• 12:47
  Speaker 2: little bit sweaty, and you're like this is great, Like, yeah,
• 12:49
  Speaker 2: how good is this that I get to Also, to
• 12:52
  Speaker 2: be fair, not much ways on it. If I did
• 12:54
  Speaker 2: shit or if I did well, nothing really would come
• 12:57
  Speaker 2: of it. You know, my mates were standing around, they
• 12:59
  Speaker 2: were still going to be my mates at the end
• 13:00
  Speaker 2: of the day. That was going to cheer me on regardless. Yeah,
• 13:03
  Speaker 2: so I've got to consider that the weight of this
• 13:06
  Speaker 2: performance was not that high, but still it was this
• 13:11
  Speaker 2: interpretation of being like, I'm excited that I have this anxiety,
• 13:15
  Speaker 2: you know, that excitement for it. It's great, it's fun. Yeah,
• 13:19
  Speaker 2: whereas before I wouldn't have interpreted like that at all.
• 13:22
  Speaker 1: No way, no way. Well used to say that, Yeah,
• 13:25
  Speaker 1: like when you were an athlete, it would be more
• 13:28
  Speaker 1: relief even when you would win. So it's like you're
• 13:30
  Speaker 1: not even enjoying it that much.
• 13:31
  Speaker 2: I just focused on what you needed to do and
• 13:33
  Speaker 2: it was stressful.
• 13:35
  Speaker 1: And that's I think with a lot of goals, and
• 13:36
  Speaker 1: like when people set a goal, one question that I
• 13:40
  Speaker 1: get asked a lot is you know, how do I
• 13:42
  Speaker 1: stay if I'm not hitting that target yet? If I'm
• 13:44
  Speaker 1: not winning, how do I stay excited?
• 13:47
  Speaker 2: Like?
• 13:47
  Speaker 1: I just get over it? You know, I feel like
• 13:49
  Speaker 1: I'm not fulfilled. But I always think even if you
• 13:52
  Speaker 1: were to win that thing, even if you were, that's
• 13:54
  Speaker 1: not the answer anyway. If you're not feeling fulfilled, winning
• 13:57
  Speaker 1: the gold wouldn't fulfill you no way.
• 14:00
  Speaker 2: And that's the big thing. But yeah, winning will not
• 14:03
  Speaker 2: fulfill you at all. And people think they work so
• 14:06
  Speaker 2: hard for a particular outcome, thinking this is what I'm
• 14:09
  Speaker 2: going to get from that outcome. If you don't have
• 14:12
  Speaker 2: it now, you're probably not gonna have it then. Yeah,
• 14:14
  Speaker 2: you know, unless it's an actual job or something physical.
• 14:17
  Speaker 2: But if you the level fulfillment that you have is
• 14:19
  Speaker 2: not going to come by achieving a particular goal, it
• 14:23
  Speaker 2: really won't. Like that is part of the journey of
• 14:26
  Speaker 2: the actual work that you put in to get there.
• 14:28
  Speaker 1: What do you think is your answer to feeling fulfilled?
• 14:35
  Speaker 1: Which is a very broad question?
• 14:37
  Speaker 2: What do you mean?
• 14:40
  Speaker 1: So if someone's like, how am I what do you dare? Okay,
• 14:45
  Speaker 1: make it really personal for you. What do you think
• 14:48
  Speaker 1: are the factors in your life that all contribute to
• 14:51
  Speaker 1: you feeling like you have a fulfilled life?
• 14:53
  Speaker 2: I think that you have to have an element of
• 14:55
  Speaker 2: connection with other people or it's other things, right. I
• 15:00
  Speaker 2: love connecting with strangers. I love when I first started
• 15:04
  Speaker 2: at the nursing home, I did it because my dog
• 15:07
  Speaker 2: is affectionate. Now I do it for both of us. Yeah,
• 15:09
  Speaker 2: there is nothing more fulfilling than having a chat to
• 15:12
  Speaker 2: someone that really needs it. That is phenomenal. I really
• 15:16
  Speaker 2: really love that, So connecting with strangers, connecting with nature.
• 15:20
  Speaker 2: I love the flint leaf that I adopted from you,
• 15:24
  Speaker 2: the car park fidd God, there.
• 15:25
  Speaker 1: Was this abandoned fiddlely fig in the in my office
• 15:28
  Speaker 1: car park and I sent her a photo and I
• 15:30
  Speaker 1: was like, oh my god, do you want this because
• 15:33
  Speaker 1: I'll come and pick it up tomorrow. And this fiddlely
• 15:36
  Speaker 1: fig was like snapped in multiple places. It was like
• 15:39
  Speaker 1: it was on death's door. And then I came back
• 15:41
  Speaker 1: the next day and I'd put it in the boot
• 15:43
  Speaker 1: of my car. But then I just took a photo
• 15:45
  Speaker 1: of the one leaf that had fallen off it, and
• 15:47
  Speaker 1: I was like, this is the remnants.
• 15:48
  Speaker 2: And I was devastated. I'm like, what someone took it
• 15:52
  Speaker 2: or that's gone in the build. I'm not going to
• 15:54
  Speaker 2: someone's thrown it out there and then she's like, after
• 15:57
  Speaker 2: I put it in my car that I got photo
• 16:00
  Speaker 2: of it. I'm like, oh, thank.
• 16:01
  Speaker 1: God, and it was all man good. It ended up
• 16:03
  Speaker 1: having to strip it back to one light back.
• 16:05
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I left one leaf on it, which I've now
• 16:07
  Speaker 2: removed because it's just flourished. And I have it in
• 16:09
  Speaker 2: the front of my house and every time I walk
• 16:12
  Speaker 2: into the house, I look at it and I'm like, oh, yeah,
• 16:15
  Speaker 2: it's just a nurturing something else, like plants. I really
• 16:19
  Speaker 2: think plants are amazing. The dogs hanging out with the
• 16:23
  Speaker 2: dogs hanging out. I love coaching. When you give someone
• 16:28
  Speaker 2: you know I was coaching this morning, and you give
• 16:30
  Speaker 2: some of the members that you know don't really rate
• 16:32
  Speaker 2: themselves as you know. They come in because they trained
• 16:34
  Speaker 2: to keep fit and they love the community, and you
• 16:36
  Speaker 2: give them a couple of pointers to fix this particular movement,
• 16:39
  Speaker 2: and you see them just glow because they get it. Yeah,
• 16:42
  Speaker 2: that is great. I love that. I absolutely love that.
• 16:44
  Speaker 2: I think connection and community are so important. I don't
• 16:49
  Speaker 2: think you can be fulfilled without them. I really don't.
• 16:52
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I agree, I agree. One. I think in order
• 16:57
  Speaker 1: to have a good life that you can't just be one,
• 17:00
  Speaker 1: one hundred percent about what it is that you are
• 17:01
  Speaker 1: doing alone, independently.
• 17:03
  Speaker 2: And you know what, I think, if you feel connected
• 17:06
  Speaker 2: and you have a community, you are not going to
• 17:09
  Speaker 2: be so hell bent if you don't make something. It's
• 17:11
  Speaker 2: not going to feel like you've wasted time. It's going
• 17:13
  Speaker 2: to be part of your growth or yeah, who you
• 17:15
  Speaker 2: are as a person.
• 17:16
  Speaker 1: Well, Like I think and this, and I've said this
• 17:18
  Speaker 1: a thousand times in the podcast, I think that's why
• 17:20
  Speaker 1: CrossFit is so successful. It's like, yeah, you could say
• 17:23
  Speaker 1: the actual training is good yet whatever, but I think
• 17:25
  Speaker 1: it ultimately comes down to people feel like there's an
• 17:28
  Speaker 1: actual community and they end up going there because they're like, oh,
• 17:32
  Speaker 1: I actually feel like. We got our dad going to
• 17:34
  Speaker 1: CrossFit and then he was like, oh, my favorite part
• 17:37
  Speaker 1: is at the end where you do like a everyone
• 17:40
  Speaker 1: and he just like loved that little sense. And I'm like, well,
• 17:43
  Speaker 1: but that's exactly right.
• 17:45
  Speaker 2: That's what I mean. I've got some great friends from CrossFit.
• 17:48
  Speaker 2: I absolutely love it. I love that we can go there.
• 17:50
  Speaker 2: And so Megan, who I went to Tazzy with, she's
• 17:53
  Speaker 2: she's a cop. So we did our like interagency little
• 17:56
  Speaker 2: team and so my teacher said, my teammate likes owns
• 18:00
  Speaker 2: because she's a cop loll and her says, my teammate
• 18:03
  Speaker 2: like snaps as far as gets and so we thought
• 18:08
  Speaker 2: it was hilarious. But she's really really good at all
• 18:10
  Speaker 2: the gymnastics stuff. She's phenomenal. So I love that she
• 18:14
  Speaker 2: can give me some knowledge and share with me, and
• 18:19
  Speaker 2: then I can share some stuff with the rowing or
• 18:21
  Speaker 2: the weightlifting or stuff that I sort of you know,
• 18:23
  Speaker 2: we're constantly like and we've really bonded and became really
• 18:26
  Speaker 2: good friends. And I've picked up some great friendships from
• 18:29
  Speaker 2: the gym. So for me, going to the gym isn't
• 18:31
  Speaker 2: just about training anymore. Yeah, community, it's about I'll see
• 18:34
  Speaker 2: my mates. You know, if we don't see someone for
• 18:37
  Speaker 2: a while, we missed them and we're protecting them and
• 18:39
  Speaker 2: we're checking in. Yeah, it's it's really good as far
• 18:42
  Speaker 2: as the community goes.
• 18:44
  Speaker 1: Yeah, So if you're out there being like I'm not
• 18:46
  Speaker 1: feeling fulfilled, find your community basically, like, find a way
• 18:51
  Speaker 1: to connect, a way to connect. This question, what do
• 19:14
  Speaker 1: you think your parents did right to instill a high
• 19:17
  Speaker 1: work ethic. I just think of moth business before pleasure
• 19:24
  Speaker 1: delayed gratification.
• 19:26
  Speaker 2: Honestly, those two lines are the soundtrack of our child.
• 19:30
  Speaker 1: Oh my god. It was always business before pleasure, delayed gratification,
• 19:34
  Speaker 1: always for the big things, for the little things.
• 19:37
  Speaker 2: But it an't always Clayton, my partner. It always him
• 19:41
  Speaker 2: now because he's like, it's delayed gratification. If we have
• 19:44
  Speaker 2: like chocolate in the fridge, I would happily have it
• 19:47
  Speaker 2: there for a month, and he will eat it, just
• 19:50
  Speaker 2: as in chocolate block will probably just be munched away
• 19:53
  Speaker 2: with bites in it, bites out of them.
• 19:58
  Speaker 1: That's like Tarann. We'll get home and he's just brought
• 20:00
  Speaker 1: block of chocolate and he'll go in and I'm like, no, no, no, no,
• 20:01
  Speaker 1: We've got to like eat dinner, clean the kitchen, and
• 20:04
  Speaker 1: then once you've cleaned the kitchen we can and he's like,
• 20:07
  Speaker 1: why not now, Yeah, like delay gratification.
• 20:10
  Speaker 2: He hates it. He hates it so much.
• 20:12
  Speaker 1: Yeah, And so I think these tiny and it's it's
• 20:16
  Speaker 1: quite small, but it's I think everything that well, a
• 20:20
  Speaker 1: lot of what you've achieved, a lot of what I do.
• 20:22
  Speaker 1: It's it is a summation of tiny, tiny tasks stucked
• 20:27
  Speaker 1: up over time, and it's I think you. I think
• 20:29
  Speaker 1: a lot of people think, well, it's this big, insurmountable thing.
• 20:32
  Speaker 1: But even when I was doing like the degree, a
• 20:34
  Speaker 1: lot of it came down to delayed gratification. So much
• 20:37
  Speaker 1: came down to delayed gratification.
• 20:39
  Speaker 2: I mean, I think I do what you do with
• 20:42
  Speaker 2: like blocking setting timers. Yeah, so I like to like,
• 20:45
  Speaker 2: I've gotten really into much now because I had some
• 20:48
  Speaker 2: gut issues and I've been off coffee. So I've just
• 20:50
  Speaker 2: into March and I've been researching different marchers to try.
• 20:55
  Speaker 2: So this new one arrived this morning. I'm like, I
• 20:57
  Speaker 2: can't wait to brew this marcher. I'm like, I can't
• 20:59
  Speaker 2: wait to try it. I'm so excited. Will it set
• 21:01
  Speaker 2: to let the bottom like all the other brands? And
• 21:04
  Speaker 2: so I'm like, I'm gonna set a twenty minute tim
• 21:05
  Speaker 2: I do a little bit spruce up around the house
• 21:08
  Speaker 2: before I.
• 21:09
  Speaker 1: Can try your much out.
• 21:10
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and I will always do that. You know how
• 21:12
  Speaker 2: much you can get done in twenty mores?
• 21:13
  Speaker 1: Oh my god. For me, when I'm cleaning, it's a timer,
• 21:16
  Speaker 1: I'm racing against the clock. It is amazing. You can
• 21:18
  Speaker 1: fold four loads of laundry in fifteen minutes flat.
• 21:22
  Speaker 2: Well, I timed myself making like stripping my bed winner
• 21:25
  Speaker 2: and everything and making the bed completely and it's under
• 21:28
  Speaker 2: ten minutes.
• 21:29
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's nothing. So yeah, timer is a huge one,
• 21:33
  Speaker 1: but yeah, I think that's what. And also with our parents,
• 21:37
  Speaker 1: they it never felt like they were driving in like
• 21:41
  Speaker 1: you've got a wild card, but it was very much
• 21:46
  Speaker 1: there were tasks that had to be done in order
• 21:48
  Speaker 1: for us, Like, there's no way in hell I would
• 21:50
  Speaker 1: have been led out to play with my friends or
• 21:52
  Speaker 1: socialize as a teenager or go out if I hadn't
• 21:55
  Speaker 1: done the the basic tasks. We had responsibilities in the house,
• 21:59
  Speaker 1: and if we didn't do them, it was just no
• 22:00
  Speaker 1: matter where you were going, you were not going.
• 22:02
  Speaker 2: If we were also tasked with something as kids or
• 22:06
  Speaker 2: growing up, there was no getting out of that task.
• 22:08
  Speaker 2: We knew we have to complete it. Yeah, we'd sweep
• 22:11
  Speaker 2: the backyard.
• 22:12
  Speaker 1: Yeah, for some reason, and we would oh my god,
• 22:15
  Speaker 1: we would do everything to try and get out of
• 22:16
  Speaker 1: so in the backyard, acting like as if it was
• 22:18
  Speaker 1: a for We made it a four hour job, but
• 22:20
  Speaker 1: it was probably a twenty minute job.
• 22:21
  Speaker 2: Yeah, but we would just lie there splat well, like.
• 22:24
  Speaker 1: This is so exhausting, And they would go inside and
• 22:28
  Speaker 1: eat it for us and Banana like we were so dramatic,
• 22:31
  Speaker 1: and my mom's like, you decide how long this task
• 22:34
  Speaker 1: was up to you.
• 22:34
  Speaker 2: How it takes, it's up to you.
• 22:37
  Speaker 1: Yeah, but we're just but there was no you could
• 22:39
  Speaker 1: not get out of it. And we knew that we
• 22:40
  Speaker 1: couldn't get out of it because even if we refused
• 22:42
  Speaker 1: to do it, then the moment we wanted something that
• 22:45
  Speaker 1: was a luxury, She's like, is the backyard swept?
• 22:49
  Speaker 2: And then we're like, I have to ask us if
• 22:50
  Speaker 2: we swept, can you do it? Have you done everything
• 22:53
  Speaker 2: you needed to do?
• 22:53
  Speaker 1: And we're like and we're like, well, I'm finished this task.
• 22:56
  Speaker 1: So it always would come back on us, you know,
• 22:58
  Speaker 1: like we always had responsibilit is, and I think that's
• 23:01
  Speaker 1: pretty much where that learning came from, that work ethic. Yeah,
• 23:08
  Speaker 1: so I would say, yeah, and they always business before
• 23:12
  Speaker 1: and they always supported us. They did in the sense
• 23:15
  Speaker 1: of like they never had like an idea for us
• 23:17
  Speaker 1: and our careers or whatever. They were very if they did,
• 23:20
  Speaker 1: we never knew about it, like they were very much
• 23:23
  Speaker 1: you tell us what you want to do with your
• 23:24
  Speaker 1: life kind of thing.
• 23:25
  Speaker 2: I mean, I think there's certain things that I did
• 23:27
  Speaker 2: that I know my mother wasn't one hundred percent on.
• 23:29
  Speaker 3: Board with because I could tell in her face that
• 23:32
  Speaker 3: she's just scared or not thrilled about it. But she'd
• 23:37
  Speaker 3: just sit there with her supportive face and just like
• 23:39
  Speaker 3: just like NODG.
• 23:43
  Speaker 1: Yeah, And I think that's part of it. I think
• 23:46
  Speaker 1: they also knew it's like we also have to let
• 23:48
  Speaker 1: them realize what doesn't work for us either, you know,
• 23:52
  Speaker 1: like let them make their mistakes. I think it's healthy.
• 23:55
  Speaker 1: That's also let your kids make mistakes.
• 23:57
  Speaker 2: Or if there's if your kid's going to do something
• 23:59
  Speaker 2: that you're not in highly, you know, it's like not
• 24:01
  Speaker 2: something you would do, doesn't mean it's not going to
• 24:03
  Speaker 2: be great for them.
• 24:04
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, exactly.
• 24:06
  Speaker 2: There's a lot of things that I've done in my
• 24:07
  Speaker 2: life that my mother would not enjoy or not have
• 24:10
  Speaker 2: done that. She's never put her opinions on me or
• 24:13
  Speaker 2: how I would do yeah, you know, exactly to my job,
• 24:17
  Speaker 2: but encouraged me to do it. She's super proud of
• 24:20
  Speaker 2: me doing it, so.
• 24:21
  Speaker 1: She personally probably would not have a good time.
• 24:23
  Speaker 2: Yeah, if it was up to her, she wouldn't have
• 24:25
  Speaker 2: suggested that.
• 24:27
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly.
• 24:28
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's so true.
• 24:30
  Speaker 1: Okay, this is an interesting question. It's niche, but I'm
• 24:34
  Speaker 1: interested in it as well. How do you find being
• 24:36
  Speaker 1: a woman in the fire service. I'm a firefighter in
• 24:38
  Speaker 1: Perth and it's still hard for us.
• 24:42
  Speaker 2: So I don't want to talk for all the women
• 24:44
  Speaker 2: in my service, which is New South Wales. I personally
• 24:48
  Speaker 2: have a great experience, I really really do. There is,
• 24:53
  Speaker 2: you know, talking to other women. There is definitely an
• 24:55
  Speaker 2: element of having to prove yourself. There is definitely the
• 25:00
  Speaker 2: sort of things. But personally I have a great time
• 25:03
  Speaker 2: with it. I have met very few people that I think,
• 25:07
  Speaker 2: oh god is my crew in particular are phenomenal. I
• 25:14
  Speaker 2: can't speak highly of them enough, you know. It's they
• 25:18
  Speaker 2: are a dream to work with. Every day I get
• 25:22
  Speaker 2: to work with these three incredible people. They are so knowledgeable,
• 25:25
  Speaker 2: they are so supportive. We are so keen and excited
• 25:28
  Speaker 2: to share our you know, our knowledge and our skills,
• 25:31
  Speaker 2: and it's phenomenal. I absolutely love it. I love the
• 25:36
  Speaker 2: men I work with. I think they're great. But I
• 25:41
  Speaker 2: do know that there's a lot of women that still
• 25:43
  Speaker 2: struggle with such a strong male. There's still have elements
• 25:48
  Speaker 2: of the brigade, there's still a lot of like a
• 25:50
  Speaker 2: boys club vibe and that sort of stuff, and I
• 25:52
  Speaker 2: know that that can still.
• 25:54
  Speaker 1: Yeah, depending who you work with and where.
• 25:57
  Speaker 2: You work, how you work, and you know, yeah, crew
• 26:00
  Speaker 2: makes all the difference.
• 26:01
  Speaker 1: Of course, because it's the same for people always. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
• 26:07
  Speaker 1: Well I hate that for her, but I love that
• 26:09
  Speaker 1: for you. Self talk. Let's talk about self talk. When
• 26:15
  Speaker 1: it comes time for taking hard action that you said
• 26:19
  Speaker 1: you would do, but then you don't feel like doing it.
• 26:21
  Speaker 1: So it's all you know, that whole idea of like
• 26:23
  Speaker 1: thinking that there's a version of you out out there
• 26:25
  Speaker 1: that wants to do something more than you want to
• 26:27
  Speaker 1: do it right now, and then that time comes and.
• 26:30
  Speaker 2: I just I just tend to do a lot of
• 26:32
  Speaker 2: shit I don't like doing.
• 26:33
  Speaker 1: I don't know, right, like I think it's it's you
• 26:36
  Speaker 1: build it.
• 26:37
  Speaker 2: That's it, you know. Yeah, it's about getting used to
• 26:39
  Speaker 2: doing the stuff that you I mean, and that starts
• 26:42
  Speaker 2: with the small tasks. That really really starts with the
• 26:45
  Speaker 2: small task. You know, just you're about to run out
• 26:48
  Speaker 2: of the house, you've had your coffee or whatever, and
• 26:50
  Speaker 2: you put the mug in the sink. I'll wash it later,
• 26:52
  Speaker 2: and it's little tiny things. Yeah, you set yourself up
• 26:54
  Speaker 2: with little tiny things and then you build from there.
• 26:57
  Speaker 2: So just set a standard for yourself with something small,
• 27:01
  Speaker 2: something really small, and then build from that point, you know,
• 27:04
  Speaker 2: and then the big things aren't going to feel that like,
• 27:06
  Speaker 2: you know, I have to make that phone call, or
• 27:08
  Speaker 2: I have to finish that job application or whatever it
• 27:11
  Speaker 2: might be. That's that big thing that you like, I'm
• 27:14
  Speaker 2: really dragging my feet on. That's going to feel less
• 27:18
  Speaker 2: of an insurmountable task if you're constantly doing those little
• 27:22
  Speaker 2: uncomfortable things and you're not always just kicking back and
• 27:26
  Speaker 2: being like, oh, they'll do it later, and then you
• 27:27
  Speaker 2: come to it and it's like, oh, now I've got
• 27:29
  Speaker 2: a sink full of dishes or now you know what
• 27:31
  Speaker 2: I mean.
• 27:31
  Speaker 1: Like yeah, And I feel like we make things so
• 27:35
  Speaker 1: complicated in our heads, Like it took me so many
• 27:38
  Speaker 1: months to change over my health insurance because I'm like, oh,
• 27:42
  Speaker 1: this phone call and then I'm going to be on hold,
• 27:44
  Speaker 1: and I'm like, I'm just already creating scenarios that haven't
• 27:47
  Speaker 1: even happened yet, So I keep putting it off, and
• 27:49
  Speaker 1: then when I did call them, I was on hold
• 27:50
  Speaker 1: for two minutes and it got sorted within twenty minutes.
• 27:53
  Speaker 2: I'm like, if you were on hold for twenty minutes,
• 27:55
  Speaker 2: you can do other shit. Like on the way here,
• 27:59
  Speaker 2: I got hit by a bus, not a big accident,
• 28:02
  Speaker 2: whatever the point is. I was like, oh my insurance, Yeah,
• 28:07
  Speaker 2: take my car to the you know it's a couple
• 28:09
  Speaker 2: of hours by the time you get your Oh, I'll
• 28:12
  Speaker 2: do that straight away. The only reason I haven't done
• 28:14
  Speaker 2: it is because I was coming here. Yeah, Like otherwise
• 28:17
  Speaker 2: I would have pulled over and done it immediately. I
• 28:20
  Speaker 2: like to do things as soon as I can. I
• 28:22
  Speaker 2: hate delaying it. Delaying stuff I feel always cost you
• 28:26
  Speaker 2: one way or another.
• 28:27
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 28:27
  Speaker 2: Like the longer you delay stuff, it always ends up
• 28:29
  Speaker 2: costing you. Whether it's a late fee or an opportunity
• 28:33
  Speaker 2: or time, it always ends up. Oh.
• 28:34
  Speaker 1: I got so many late fees when I first moved
• 28:37
  Speaker 1: to Sydney. Remember that was the year of like my
• 28:39
  Speaker 1: parking fines over the year of It was the year
• 28:44
  Speaker 1: of the part I had so many. I'm not joking
• 28:46
  Speaker 1: when I say I racked up. I'm not exaggerating when
• 28:49
  Speaker 1: I say two to three thousand dollars worth of parking flees,
• 28:51
  Speaker 1: and I'm embarrassed to admit it. It makes me sick to
• 28:53
  Speaker 1: my stomach. And a significant portion of those fines were
• 28:57
  Speaker 1: like late fees on top of the fines because my
• 29:02
  Speaker 1: justification was, but that's so unfair, I can't afford it.
• 29:05
  Speaker 1: But regardless of whether you could afford it or not,
• 29:08
  Speaker 1: that fine is not going away. That I couldn't contest it,
• 29:12
  Speaker 1: I couldn't fight it. But in my head, I'm like, well,
• 29:14
  Speaker 1: I can't afford it right now. I could have put
• 29:16
  Speaker 1: it on the spur, like a payment plan. I could
• 29:18
  Speaker 1: have done things, but no, Instead I would wait till
• 29:22
  Speaker 1: the late fan. Then when you get a late fan,
• 29:23
  Speaker 1: that don't let you put it on a.
• 29:24
  Speaker 2: I've made so many mistakes like late fees. I've paid
• 29:28
  Speaker 2: so many late fees. And my rule now is as
• 29:30
  Speaker 2: soon as I open a like I opened a letter
• 29:32
  Speaker 2: as I'm entering the house, I will open it immediately.
• 29:35
  Speaker 2: I don't even put the envelope down that it's so good,
• 29:38
  Speaker 2: And if it's some sort of a bill of anything,
• 29:42
  Speaker 2: it gets paid immediately and then goes straight to the recycling. Yeah,
• 29:46
  Speaker 2: I do not put that out of my hand.
• 29:47
  Speaker 1: You're not filing that piece of pain.
• 29:49
  Speaker 2: I will not file it because I know myself by
• 29:51
  Speaker 2: now that if I file it, it's forgotten. Yeah. Yes,
• 29:55
  Speaker 2: I won't see it as soon as I open it.
• 29:57
  Speaker 2: And it's not that hard. Now you're not having to
• 29:59
  Speaker 2: call anyone.
• 30:00
  Speaker 1: It's all on the fine.
• 30:01
  Speaker 2: Paying most of the stuff. Will be paying most of
• 30:03
  Speaker 2: this on your phone. It does not take that long,
• 30:06
  Speaker 2: and you know, it's just get it done immediately, honestly,
• 30:09
  Speaker 2: get it done.
• 30:10
  Speaker 1: Half the ship that we don't do I think is
• 30:12
  Speaker 1: just the mental game.
• 30:13
  Speaker 2: Yeah, And that's the thing. As soon as you file
• 30:16
  Speaker 2: three things, then you're like, oh, I've got to pay
• 30:17
  Speaker 2: that bill and I've got to do this, and I've
• 30:19
  Speaker 2: got to do that, and then.
• 30:20
  Speaker 1: And then it becomes sit down. Then it becomes I've
• 30:22
  Speaker 1: got to pay those bills and now there's like five
• 30:24
  Speaker 1: of them now and at an hour.
• 30:26
  Speaker 2: No, no, no, and it's stressful, and then it seems
• 30:27
  Speaker 2: like so much more money. Yeah, yeah, you know, yeah,
• 30:31
  Speaker 2: just get it done.
• 30:32
  Speaker 1: So basically, it's yeah, I think it is. It's it's
• 30:35
  Speaker 1: you're you're slowly building up your ability to just tackle
• 30:38
  Speaker 1: the hard thing, slowly building it up. Yeah, Like one
• 30:43
  Speaker 1: thing that I started doing this year, and it's a
• 30:45
  Speaker 1: game change, and it's so basic, is folding things and
• 30:48
  Speaker 1: putting them back in the wardrobe instead of like no.
• 30:51
  Speaker 2: But like.
• 30:55
  Speaker 1: I mean, like you know, when you're in a rush,
• 30:58
  Speaker 1: I mean, you're way more decisive than I am. And
• 31:00
  Speaker 1: it comes to like clothes and outfits and stuff. But
• 31:02
  Speaker 1: if I'm like trying on several outfits and I'm going somewhere,
• 31:05
  Speaker 1: then I end up shoving them in, Like I've tried
• 31:08
  Speaker 1: on three things and I haven't, and I might put
• 31:10
  Speaker 1: that thing back on and I haven't, So then it's
• 31:12
  Speaker 1: just shoved into the wardrobe. And then at night time,
• 31:15
  Speaker 1: if I'm really tired, I would just like, oh, crump,
• 31:17
  Speaker 1: all these track is in it and then shove it
• 31:19
  Speaker 1: in and then before you know it, your wardrobe is
• 31:21
  Speaker 1: a disaster. You're looking at me like as if I'm
• 31:24
  Speaker 1: an alien because you've never done anything like that. But
• 31:27
  Speaker 1: then one thing I started doing is no, it's either
• 31:29
  Speaker 1: going in the wash or you are folding it properly.
• 31:33
  Speaker 1: This is in its.
• 31:34
  Speaker 2: Hepo Clayton does that. So I'm put this shirt away.
• 31:37
  Speaker 2: He's like, no, but I'm going to wear it. I'm like,
• 31:40
  Speaker 2: that's still not an excuse for it to be on
• 31:43
  Speaker 2: the bed or on the chicken, just put it away.
• 31:46
  Speaker 2: And it's like if it's not clean enough to put away,
• 31:49
  Speaker 2: it's in the wash.
• 31:50
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, that's it, you know exactly. There's no middle ground.
• 31:54
  Speaker 2: Oh, there is no middle ground.
• 31:55
  Speaker 1: No wait, there is no metal ground. But that was
• 31:59
  Speaker 1: a hard task that I had in my head. That's
• 32:01
  Speaker 1: actually not a hard task because once you start doing well,
• 32:05
  Speaker 1: if it's one thing, it's not a hard exactly exactly.
• 32:08
  Speaker 1: So when it's a shit show, it's fucked. But in general,
• 32:11
  Speaker 1: I have to.
• 32:11
  Speaker 2: Do my whole work.
• 32:12
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, and then you do with all sorts of things.
• 32:15
  Speaker 1: Like another thing that I find really good is if
• 32:17
  Speaker 1: you're doing something for someone else, it no longer is
• 32:19
  Speaker 1: something you procrastinate on. Like I noticed that task that
• 32:22
  Speaker 1: I might not be in the mood for. I never
• 32:23
  Speaker 1: even question if it's like hubib, like if I've got
• 32:26
  Speaker 1: to feed him and I don't want to get up,
• 32:27
  Speaker 1: I'm getting up to feed him, you know, because it's
• 32:29
  Speaker 1: it's like you know, so even like think about tasks
• 32:33
  Speaker 1: like that as an example of like how not difficult
• 32:36
  Speaker 1: it actually is, you know.
• 32:38
  Speaker 2: And once you get into the habit of pick something
• 32:41
  Speaker 2: that you know you do. If it's that shirt that
• 32:44
  Speaker 2: you put on and you're gonna throw it on the
• 32:46
  Speaker 2: clothed chair or on the bed or whatever, just pick
• 32:49
  Speaker 2: one thing that you know you do and you wish
• 32:52
  Speaker 2: you didn't, and just don't for three weeks. Yes I'm not.
• 32:55
  Speaker 2: And every time you take that shirt and you're going
• 32:57
  Speaker 2: to put it down, just no, no, fold it, put
• 33:00
  Speaker 2: it away, or chuck it in the wash, whatever you
• 33:02
  Speaker 2: choose to do, and just make that rule and you'll
• 33:05
  Speaker 2: notice it every time. And that's the rule I made
• 33:07
  Speaker 2: with dishes in the sink for me because I hated
• 33:09
  Speaker 2: coming back in the other and be like, oh, there's
• 33:10
  Speaker 2: like four plates or whatever, you know, the whole day's
• 33:12
  Speaker 2: worth of food. No, no, as soon as you finished, no, no,
• 33:16
  Speaker 2: you know how quick it is to wash what you've
• 33:18
  Speaker 2: just eaten.
• 33:19
  Speaker 1: It takes three seconds.
• 33:20
  Speaker 2: It's no time at all. It's so quick. And so
• 33:23
  Speaker 2: that's it. And then the end of the day I
• 33:24
  Speaker 2: finish having dinner, I'm like, there is nothing to do here.
• 33:27
  Speaker 2: We are done.
• 33:28
  Speaker 1: Yeah, And don't make excuses for yourself, like if you're
• 33:31
  Speaker 1: going to say, oh, well, the reason I kept it
• 33:32
  Speaker 1: in the sink is because the dishwasher was full and
• 33:34
  Speaker 1: I don't have time to unload the dishwasher. You can
• 33:36
  Speaker 1: still just wash up that one mug even if you're
• 33:38
  Speaker 1: not unloading the dish washer. Well, that's good. I used
• 33:41
  Speaker 1: to save a lot of time when I didn't have
• 33:42
  Speaker 1: a dishwasher. It forced me to be on top of
• 33:44
  Speaker 1: my dishes.
• 33:45
  Speaker 2: Yeah, just get rid of the dish.
• 33:47
  Speaker 1: Tyane would never but yeah, the times the stuff's in
• 33:50
  Speaker 1: the dishes that you need anyway, I know, I know,
• 33:53
  Speaker 1: I know. Okay, this one, this one is is an
• 33:56
  Speaker 1: interesting one binge eating, but not severe enough to be
• 34:00
  Speaker 1: a diagnosis. But I feel the same guilt and discussed after.
• 34:05
  Speaker 1: So what are your thoughts around kind of the mindset around,
• 34:09
  Speaker 1: But it's not diagnosable that like, it's not at that
• 34:12
  Speaker 1: point where we are diagnosing it with a binge eating disorder.
• 34:14
  Speaker 2: Okay, So I'm neither a nutritionist or a psychologist preface
• 34:19
  Speaker 2: everything I'm saying that, but I feel like if you
• 34:22
  Speaker 2: binge eat, something is wrong as far as how you're
• 34:26
  Speaker 2: structuring your diet. So you're binging because you're too restricted
• 34:31
  Speaker 2: or I don't know how often are you binging? You know?
• 34:35
  Speaker 1: Well, yeah, that's the name Yeah.
• 34:37
  Speaker 2: But if if you're restricting yourself so much that you're like,
• 34:39
  Speaker 2: I'm not gonna I'm not gonna have anything, and then
• 34:41
  Speaker 2: you binge eat and you feel terrible. So then you
• 34:43
  Speaker 2: go back to restricting yourself and you're like that, I
• 34:46
  Speaker 2: feel like is verging on some sort of.
• 34:49
  Speaker 1: Eating disorder eating issue.
• 34:51
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I genuinely don't think you should be restricting to
• 34:56
  Speaker 2: the point where you're craving things massively. I don't if
• 35:00
  Speaker 2: there's anything wrong with having a little sweet treat here
• 35:02
  Speaker 2: and there, I really don't. I genuinely think your lifestyle
• 35:05
  Speaker 2: should be structured in a way that you can have
• 35:08
  Speaker 2: one small sweet treat every day. Yeah, and you'll be fine.
• 35:12
  Speaker 2: I do that.
• 35:13
  Speaker 1: I love swee absolutely.
• 35:18
  Speaker 2: Whatever your little sweet treat's going to be waste, you know,
• 35:22
  Speaker 2: I love.
• 35:24
  Speaker 1: Yes, they're the best, the passion for it.
• 35:26
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's so good.
• 35:31
  Speaker 1: I know. I feel like and also too strict on.
• 35:37
  Speaker 1: I think people like, say, you're someone that's counting calories. Okay,
• 35:42
  Speaker 1: you've got like a strict goal and you're counting calories.
• 35:45
  Speaker 1: One thing that you're not factoring in is we're not
• 35:47
  Speaker 1: that strict on not about strict, but we don't have
• 35:52
  Speaker 1: a clear indication of how much you're moving. So our
• 35:55
  Speaker 1: output of energy changes so much from day to day.
• 35:59
  Speaker 1: So here we are being so strict. It's like you're
• 36:02
  Speaker 1: killing yourself over the fact that you ended up having
• 36:04
  Speaker 1: that meal instead of the meal that you said you
• 36:06
  Speaker 1: were gonna have. But it's like, I think you want
• 36:08
  Speaker 1: to look at it more as I need to zoom
• 36:11
  Speaker 1: out and not focus on these one tiny things here
• 36:13
  Speaker 1: and there. I need to zoom out and look at
• 36:14
  Speaker 1: the bigger picture.
• 36:15
  Speaker 2: I mean, even if you are counting calories, having one
• 36:18
  Speaker 2: blowout day can blow out your entire week's worth of
• 36:21
  Speaker 2: calories because it is cumulative, so you're better off spreading
• 36:24
  Speaker 2: it out. You'd probably half the amount of calories eight
• 36:27
  Speaker 2: in that day. If we're all about counter calories and
• 36:30
  Speaker 2: be balanced with your food intake and just I'm not
• 36:34
  Speaker 2: saying have cake every day, but have you know something
• 36:38
  Speaker 2: you enjoy once a day. That's it, and you'll probably
• 36:41
  Speaker 2: find that you're not gonna blow out, you're not gonna
• 36:43
  Speaker 2: hate yourself. And I know how how it got. When
• 36:45
  Speaker 2: I used to row lightweight, I was really restricting my
• 36:47
  Speaker 2: diat and that was twenty kilos ago. And I mean
• 36:50
  Speaker 2: prop up proper restricting, and we were after racing, we
• 36:54
  Speaker 2: would binge like crazy. It was terrifying.
• 36:57
  Speaker 1: And after like the first x amount of me like
• 37:03
  Speaker 1: things that you're eating, you're probably not enjoying it at
• 37:05
  Speaker 1: that point.
• 37:05
  Speaker 2: It's terrible, but you're just like eating it only because
• 37:08
  Speaker 2: you've restricted yourself. It's it's like that whole you know,
• 37:13
  Speaker 2: when you just stop a kid from doing something and
• 37:15
  Speaker 2: they go nuts on it. I don't know anyway, it's
• 37:20
  Speaker 2: like as soon as you restrict something.
• 37:22
  Speaker 1: You're like, no, but I'm thinking of a different example.
• 37:25
  Speaker 1: I'm thinking of like prohibition with alcohol and then it
• 37:28
  Speaker 1: was like there with the highest consumption of alcohol ever wasn'
• 37:30
  Speaker 1: when it was banned and things.
• 37:31
  Speaker 2: But you do that to yourself. Yeah, I'm eating it
• 37:34
  Speaker 2: because it's there and I haven't had it, and now
• 37:36
  Speaker 2: I have it and I'm.
• 37:37
  Speaker 1: Just you know, I finally get it.
• 37:39
  Speaker 2: Yeah, And I think a lot of the guilt is
• 37:42
  Speaker 2: also just shame as well, because you've cracked and not on.
• 37:47
  Speaker 2: You know that most of it you didn't even.
• 37:49
  Speaker 1: Enjoy that, and then once that shame spiral starts, you're
• 37:55
  Speaker 1: kind of like, well, I know I need to do something,
• 37:57
  Speaker 1: but now I feel shit about myself, so I might
• 37:58
  Speaker 1: as well just keep eating until I am going to
• 38:00
  Speaker 1: change on Monday or I am going to change on.
• 38:02
  Speaker 2: The States Monday thing. Yeah yeah, and then yeah, that's
• 38:06
  Speaker 2: that's pretty bad. And that's really starts ruining your relationship
• 38:08
  Speaker 2: with food.
• 38:09
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it really does.
• 38:10
  Speaker 2: Yeah, people honestly have. I mean, it's hard for me
• 38:13
  Speaker 2: to say, because I have an extremely stoic relationship with food.
• 38:16
  Speaker 2: I could happily and I'm going to say this, which
• 38:20
  Speaker 2: I regret because I've had gut issues recently, so I
• 38:23
  Speaker 2: have had a very bland diet the last few months.
• 38:26
  Speaker 2: But prior to that happening, I would say at work
• 38:29
  Speaker 2: all the time, and even but if there was something
• 38:32
  Speaker 2: like human kibble, I'd be thrilled. I'd be thrilled with
• 38:35
  Speaker 2: human kibble would be great. So probably not the consistency
• 38:39
  Speaker 2: of kibble something that you know, fresher, but I would
• 38:43
  Speaker 2: be thrilled to eat the same thing every day, just
• 38:45
  Speaker 2: pour putting done, eating so easy. I love it. I
• 38:49
  Speaker 2: don't care. But then, having spent a few months eating
• 38:52
  Speaker 2: literally the same thing every day, it's nice to have some.
• 38:54
  Speaker 1: Variety about Yeah, yeah, yeah, like maybe not maybe not
• 38:56
  Speaker 1: maybe not yeah, and also yeah, but you are a
• 38:59
  Speaker 1: lot better with that, Like for you, it's a lot
• 39:01
  Speaker 1: easier for you to say no.
• 39:03
  Speaker 2: You know.
• 39:05
  Speaker 1: If you know how many times have we like, have
• 39:07
  Speaker 1: you come over to a big family event whatever, and
• 39:09
  Speaker 1: you're like noah, not, like you're not eating every single
• 39:12
  Speaker 1: dessert that's been laid out.
• 39:13
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm not that fussed with it. So it's a
• 39:15
  Speaker 2: bit harder for me because I'm not that attached to
• 39:17
  Speaker 2: food really, so I can't really relate and I feel
• 39:20
  Speaker 2: really harsh giving advice when I'm.
• 39:21
  Speaker 1: Not Yeah, yeah it is you know, it is not
• 39:24
  Speaker 1: driven by.
• 39:25
  Speaker 2: Cake, you know. Yeah, so it's hard for me to
• 39:27
  Speaker 2: just say no.
• 39:29
  Speaker 1: Yeah. I mean but like the mothers in our family
• 39:30
  Speaker 1: are horrified, like yeah, yeah, they're horrified. Yeah, Okay, how
• 39:37
  Speaker 1: do you listen to your body, especially as a woman
• 39:41
  Speaker 1: while also sticking to physical commitment, Because I get asked
• 39:44
  Speaker 1: this question about like training around your cycle and as
• 39:47
  Speaker 1: a woman, but I personally don't feel different around my cycle,
• 39:51
  Speaker 1: So I've struggled to answer that.
• 39:53
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I struggle to answer I don't feel like I
• 39:56
  Speaker 2: feel that different. But when it comes to listening to
• 39:59
  Speaker 2: your body, depends what you're training for If you're training
• 40:02
  Speaker 2: for health and fitness and you're pretty consistent, I think
• 40:05
  Speaker 2: it's that whole no two days off in a row
• 40:07
  Speaker 2: sort of thing. If you're feeling really flat and you
• 40:10
  Speaker 2: didn't train yesterday because you were knackd or your body
• 40:13
  Speaker 2: was just really not into it, then today, if you're
• 40:16
  Speaker 2: still feeling flat but you're not sick, obviously you're just flat,
• 40:19
  Speaker 2: today is just going to be a walk in a stretch.
• 40:21
  Speaker 2: But it's just being consistent. Yeah, you know, it really
• 40:25
  Speaker 2: would be that simple, really.
• 40:27
  Speaker 1: Yeah, of like actually just still doing still.
• 40:30
  Speaker 2: Doing something something counts, you know, even as far as
• 40:33
  Speaker 2: a daily structure, you want to keep that going. Yeah,
• 40:36
  Speaker 2: something counts. The days where you don't For me, the
• 40:41
  Speaker 2: days that I don't train feel like a really long
• 40:45
  Speaker 2: day because I just have that extra time and you know,
• 40:49
  Speaker 2: extra hour, an hour and a half, two hours, whatever
• 40:51
  Speaker 2: it might be for that day, I'm like, wow, this
• 40:53
  Speaker 2: is huge this day. So that your days should really
• 40:57
  Speaker 2: be structured in a way to always incorporate whatever ever
• 41:00
  Speaker 2: your training block is going to be, you know, forty
• 41:02
  Speaker 2: five minutes whatever right your day should have, that's factored
• 41:05
  Speaker 2: into it. So if you are flat, that time should
• 41:08
  Speaker 2: be allocated for something that might not necessarily be your
• 41:11
  Speaker 2: normal training thing. If you're a runner and you're always
• 41:13
  Speaker 2: going for a run, I'm really flat, then it's a
• 41:16
  Speaker 2: YouTube yoga session.
• 41:18
  Speaker 1: At home, but you still use that time.
• 41:20
  Speaker 2: You've used that time. Yeah, yeah, I think.
• 41:23
  Speaker 1: And also remind yourself. I think the like you're why
• 41:26
  Speaker 1: behind why you're you know, like if you say, you know,
• 41:29
  Speaker 1: I'm training for like health and fitness. I think a
• 41:31
  Speaker 1: lot of people say I'm training for health and fitness,
• 41:34
  Speaker 1: but really they've got like an end goal of like
• 41:36
  Speaker 1: a body that's an image or whatever that they have
• 41:39
  Speaker 1: in mind, which okay, you know, it's it's hard to
• 41:42
  Speaker 1: completely like get rid of that altogether for a lot
• 41:45
  Speaker 1: of people. But one thing that for me really made
• 41:48
  Speaker 1: a huge difference with my training is I it's night
• 41:53
  Speaker 1: and day after I train, even if it's just like
• 41:55
  Speaker 1: a very light session or like you know, like the
• 41:58
  Speaker 1: other day, I was feeling quite tired, but I just
• 42:01
  Speaker 1: did a very short incline on the treadmill, walking listening
• 42:03
  Speaker 1: to a podcast and it was amazing. But like the
• 42:07
  Speaker 1: feeling of before I enter the gym versus after, no
• 42:10
  Speaker 1: matter how light the session, my mind is clear. I
• 42:14
  Speaker 1: could go and plan, yeah, a whole podcast, you know,
• 42:16
  Speaker 1: like I could go and write or something. So I
• 42:19
  Speaker 1: try and attach it to that, you know, And.
• 42:22
  Speaker 2: I think another thing that you touched on is having
• 42:24
  Speaker 2: a goal of like a particular body you want or whatever.
• 42:27
  Speaker 2: Especially with women. When I talk to women and their
• 42:29
  Speaker 2: goals around fitness and training, I really like to steer
• 42:34
  Speaker 2: them away from a mirror goal or a goal of
• 42:36
  Speaker 2: something that you can see in the mirror, to a
• 42:38
  Speaker 2: goal of capability. So pick something that you want to
• 42:42
  Speaker 2: do that you can't do now. If you want to
• 42:44
  Speaker 2: do a pull up, let's do a pull up. Let's go, Okay,
• 42:47
  Speaker 2: my goal now, I want to get that pull up.
• 42:51
  Speaker 2: And you'll be surprised how quickly gains come from doing
• 42:55
  Speaker 2: a pull up. You know, you start with your eccentric
• 42:57
  Speaker 2: lowers and you're slowly lowering yourself to the floor and
• 42:59
  Speaker 2: you're like, oh, I could hardly control myself last week.
• 43:02
  Speaker 2: This week I can. Then you use a bad you
• 43:04
  Speaker 2: know what I mean. You get these wins so quickly
• 43:07
  Speaker 2: when you have a goal of being capable. And you
• 43:09
  Speaker 2: know what, when people are capable physically capable, they feel awesome.
• 43:13
  Speaker 2: And when people feel awesome. They really like themselves, Yeah,
• 43:17
  Speaker 2: they really do. You look in the mirror and you're like, man,
• 43:19
  Speaker 2: that is a capable human. How good is that I
• 43:22
  Speaker 2: got my first pull up? Or I'm really you know
• 43:23
  Speaker 2: whatever it might be, feel wicked like you really? And
• 43:28
  Speaker 2: I think that that is a far healthier goal and
• 43:31
  Speaker 2: one that will keep you engaged so much longer than
• 43:34
  Speaker 2: one that is of a physical, like a visual goal.
• 43:39
  Speaker 2: Like you look in the mirror and like, oh, you
• 43:40
  Speaker 2: start step on the scales and you're like, I want to
• 43:42
  Speaker 2: lose five helos or whatever it is, which I hate
• 43:45
  Speaker 2: those goals so much because you know what that might
• 43:48
  Speaker 2: take you to do that in a way that is
• 43:51
  Speaker 2: going to be permanent. That can take you absolutely months.
• 43:55
  Speaker 2: And what person, what human in any world has ever
• 44:01
  Speaker 2: stuck to something when the feedback you've got or the
• 44:03
  Speaker 2: reward you've got takes months. No one does that. That's
• 44:06
  Speaker 2: not how human nature works. You don't stick around for
• 44:09
  Speaker 2: something that takes months to come around and you see
• 44:11
  Speaker 2: zero zero.
• 44:13
  Speaker 1: Until months later. Yeah you don't, you don't.
• 44:15
  Speaker 2: And then let's say that month rolls around and you've
• 44:19
  Speaker 2: stuck to it by some miracle and you have lost
• 44:21
  Speaker 2: the five kilos. What Now, you've built nothing out of this.
• 44:24
  Speaker 2: You don't have a community, you don't have enjoyment, you
• 44:27
  Speaker 2: don't you only unless you've built everything else around it.
• 44:30
  Speaker 2: You found something else to push you other than a
• 44:33
  Speaker 2: number or something you see in the mirror. What what
• 44:37
  Speaker 2: else is there?
• 44:38
  Speaker 1: Yeah?
• 44:39
  Speaker 2: You know what I mean. I think it's a really
• 44:40
  Speaker 2: unhealthy way to build a relationship with training. So for everyone,
• 44:45
  Speaker 2: especially women, pick something physical, something of capability that you
• 44:50
  Speaker 2: want to achieve, a push up, you know, whatever it
• 44:53
  Speaker 2: might be. Come on, yeah, you know what I mean.
• 44:56
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean my my thing that I had chosen, Like,
• 45:00
  Speaker 1: the one thing that I really wanted to do was
• 45:02
  Speaker 1: ten toes to bar. But now I'm fucking pregnant, so
• 45:05
  Speaker 1: I'm not hanging toes. But I started doing it and
• 45:10
  Speaker 1: I got up to four in a row, very exciting.
• 45:13
  Speaker 1: I got these like frog grip things on my hands. Yes,
• 45:15
  Speaker 1: it doesn't rip my skin off. Yeah, And it's so
• 45:18
  Speaker 1: good because then you're like, I'm going to bring these
• 45:20
  Speaker 1: grips every day to myself. So then I'd go to
• 45:22
  Speaker 1: the gym and I'd do it a whole session, and
• 45:24
  Speaker 1: then at the end I would just practice toast to
• 45:27
  Speaker 1: bars and sometimes I'd sometimes I'd go from four to
• 45:31
  Speaker 1: them the next session, only getting two in a row.
• 45:33
  Speaker 1: It doesn't matter because you're like, it's not yet, and
• 45:36
  Speaker 1: I'm like, well I got two, whereas before you know,
• 45:38
  Speaker 1: like you know, and you're doing your building up on it.
• 45:41
  Speaker 1: And and mind you, I used to be able to
• 45:43
  Speaker 1: weigh more toast to bars back in the day when
• 45:45
  Speaker 1: I was like on the reformer every single day, and
• 45:48
  Speaker 1: you know, now I'm not. But it's fine, you know,
• 45:51
  Speaker 1: it doesn't matter. I think you just look at like
• 45:52
  Speaker 1: you pick a goal and it's really exciting. So now,
• 45:54
  Speaker 1: obviously my goals are a bit different. My goals at
• 45:56
  Speaker 1: that now it's just around getting through, you know, training
• 46:01
  Speaker 1: sessions while pregnant and you know, still feeling good. I'm
• 46:04
  Speaker 1: not smashing my body obviously, but which i am. Yeah,
• 46:07
  Speaker 1: I'm feeling great.
• 46:08
  Speaker 2: But see that's the thing. Like when we were going
• 46:10
  Speaker 2: through like the Air Force initial training, there were some
• 46:13
  Speaker 2: girls there that were really struggling with their push ups
• 46:16
  Speaker 2: and that was their thing, and it was really awesome
• 46:19
  Speaker 2: to see these girls that probably never trained with a
• 46:21
  Speaker 2: strength goal in mind, to be forced to switch their
• 46:25
  Speaker 2: mentality around training to a strength goal and to see
• 46:29
  Speaker 2: them get these wins, which they probably hadn't experienced before
• 46:33
  Speaker 2: in the gym was so good. And to have some
• 46:35
  Speaker 2: of them be keen to go to the gym to
• 46:37
  Speaker 2: do other things was just a massive win. Like, I
• 46:41
  Speaker 2: thought that was incredible. I really enjoyed that. Yeah.
• 46:43
  Speaker 1: Yeah, so now, that to me is like one of
• 46:45
  Speaker 1: the biggest differences that I think people can make is
• 46:48
  Speaker 1: change like the goal. Change the goal, and you know
• 46:54
  Speaker 1: there's the likelihood that there's going to be a positive
• 46:57
  Speaker 1: you know, you're going to have weight losses of side effects.
• 46:59
  Speaker 2: That's exactly. You know, weight loss should always just be
• 47:01
  Speaker 2: a side effect. Really, it shouldn't be the focus, exactly.
• 47:03
  Speaker 1: Should it's going to be just like a nice little
• 47:06
  Speaker 1: byproduct that's gonna you know. And also your lifestyle changes.
• 47:09
  Speaker 1: When you're training, you're probably sleeping better, You're probably waking
• 47:11
  Speaker 1: up feeling better. You're like everything kind of falls.
• 47:13
  Speaker 2: If you find a community you love, you're like, I
• 47:15
  Speaker 2: have to make that class because the people that I
• 47:17
  Speaker 2: love are they're all the coach that I really enjoy
• 47:19
  Speaker 2: is there or yeah whatever it might be.
• 47:21
  Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly exactly. So someone says I'm a crossfitter. I
• 47:25
  Speaker 1: want to know more about her CrossFit life and her PBS.
• 47:27
  Speaker 1: She does have crazy PBS. Well, you never talk about it.
• 47:32
  Speaker 1: You'll post videos. Everyone follow her at Steph Fernandez. It
• 47:36
  Speaker 1: is just Steph Fernandez. Yeah, on Instagram, but you won't
• 47:40
  Speaker 1: post the weight. You'll post these crazy videos if you're
• 47:43
  Speaker 1: doing like a clean and jerk and I'm like, wow,
• 47:45
  Speaker 1: how many kilos?
• 47:47
  Speaker 2: Oh okay, I'm sorry.
• 47:49
  Speaker 1: I'm like, I want data. Yeah, so talk to us
• 47:54
  Speaker 1: about your pebs. She doesn't like to brag about us.
• 47:57
  Speaker 2: I don't. I don't really like to talk about numbers,
• 47:59
  Speaker 2: but because it's like it's really red, like when you
• 48:01
  Speaker 2: when you're training next to someone else, you're like.
• 48:03
  Speaker 1: But you can clean like so much over your head.
• 48:06
  Speaker 1: One hundred killers, absolutely, one hundred and ten killers. She
• 48:10
  Speaker 1: gets over her head with a bar bell and waits, yeah, yeah,
• 48:17
  Speaker 1: that's it.
• 48:17
  Speaker 2: Really No. I lately I've been doing well in the
• 48:20
  Speaker 2: indoor rowing we mentioned. Yeah, I will say that my
• 48:23
  Speaker 2: five hundred meter time for anyone following is one minute
• 48:27
  Speaker 2: to twenty four point, which.
• 48:29
  Speaker 1: Is fucked up. So I think mine is like five minutes.
• 48:32
  Speaker 2: Probably it's not five minutes.
• 48:35
  Speaker 1: Probably is also if you guys are here on the
• 48:38
  Speaker 1: journey with us. We're announcing it officially now, stefinitely not
• 48:40
  Speaker 1: doing high Rocks next year.
• 48:43
  Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, So I said yes because when she asked me,
• 48:46
  Speaker 2: she was pregnant, and I'm like, lol, yes, you're going
• 48:48
  Speaker 2: to have twins running around next year if you're not
• 48:51
  Speaker 2: going to have time for high Rocks. So I've said
• 48:53
  Speaker 2: yes with that in mind. But but I've brought it
• 48:55
  Speaker 2: up every time, and of my word, if we roll
• 48:58
  Speaker 2: around and you're keen, I will definitely kill myself for you.
• 49:03
  Speaker 1: I'm so keen because there'd be a bunch of people
• 49:05
  Speaker 1: here that have done high Rocks. And if you have,
• 49:08
  Speaker 1: please jump on like the Facebook group or like on
• 49:11
  Speaker 1: Instagram and just yell out what.
• 49:13
  Speaker 2: A bad idea it is.
• 49:14
  Speaker 1: Tell us how amazing your experience was. We're going to
• 49:17
  Speaker 1: do it as as a partner partnership, which.
• 49:20
  Speaker 2: Still means we have to run together.
• 49:21
  Speaker 1: Now.
• 49:22
  Speaker 2: For me, I'm not an endurance person at all. I
• 49:24
  Speaker 2: will really struggle, whereas Alexus like, loh, half marathon, let's
• 49:28
  Speaker 2: do this. Yeah.
• 49:29
  Speaker 1: I think I'll enjoy the running. I'll find the wall
• 49:31
  Speaker 1: balls horrible exactly. So this is why I wish you
• 49:36
  Speaker 1: could do one person does running in the other person
• 49:38
  Speaker 1: we would win. We'd win if we would win. Okay,
• 49:43
  Speaker 1: we'll do two more questions. Okay, how to stay interested
• 49:49
  Speaker 1: in the repetition needed, routines needed to see outcomes. So
• 49:53
  Speaker 1: this comes down to how do you find the every
• 49:56
  Speaker 1: day enjoyable enjoyable enough? Because obviously we spoke about you
• 50:01
  Speaker 1: have to do the things you don't want to do.
• 50:03
  Speaker 1: You have to do things that you don't like doing.
• 50:05
  Speaker 1: But you also don't want to fill your day up
• 50:06
  Speaker 1: with more things that you don't like than things that
• 50:08
  Speaker 1: you enjoy.
• 50:09
  Speaker 2: So think I think a big part of making a
• 50:12
  Speaker 2: mundane day less Monday is to game afy it. So okay,
• 50:17
  Speaker 2: so yesterday I upgraded my gym. I haven't told you
• 50:21
  Speaker 2: I need to show video. I bought a spot rack
• 50:23
  Speaker 2: and I'm going to put this monstrosity together, and I've
• 50:26
  Speaker 2: got all this other housework to do. Right, So I'm like, Okay,
• 50:29
  Speaker 2: I've got all this stuff I need to do. I
• 50:31
  Speaker 2: don't want to bury myself into this one big taskuse
• 50:34
  Speaker 2: my whole day will be sapped in this. I've still
• 50:36
  Speaker 2: got washing to do. I need to do all these
• 50:38
  Speaker 2: Monday and stuff, and then I've got this big task
• 50:41
  Speaker 2: which I'm quite excited about, right, so I set my
• 50:45
  Speaker 2: interval timer on, and yeah, half an hour is spent
• 50:49
  Speaker 2: building this and referbing my whole gym setup, which I'm
• 50:52
  Speaker 2: really stoked about how it is now, and half an
• 50:55
  Speaker 2: hour is spent doing something else, right, which means that
• 50:59
  Speaker 2: you're leaving half done tasks all over the place. But
• 51:04
  Speaker 2: it really does come together at the end of the day. Right.
• 51:08
  Speaker 2: Normally I do much shorter breaks because yesterday was committing
• 51:11
  Speaker 2: the whole day to a big task. But normally fifteen
• 51:14
  Speaker 2: twenty minutes and I'll change tasks and I really gamify everything.
• 51:18
  Speaker 2: And when you're racing the clock, you get heats heats done.
• 51:21
  Speaker 1: Because you're not getting distracted. If I know there's a
• 51:24
  Speaker 1: time like something ticking down, not only do I not
• 51:28
  Speaker 1: get distracted, but I'm actually enjoying it.
• 51:30
  Speaker 2: So my go to every day is four fifteen minute blocks.
• 51:35
  Speaker 2: So four fifteen minute blocks, and that's my housework done
• 51:38
  Speaker 2: for the day. And I mean washing, food prep everything. Wow. Yeah,
• 51:41
  Speaker 2: even myles are really basic. So I'll do for anyone
• 51:45
  Speaker 2: that hates cooking and wants something very simple, get yourself
• 51:48
  Speaker 2: an air fryer and those glass pirates yep, dish things,
• 51:52
  Speaker 2: chop up some veggies, bit of volleyball in the slow
• 51:55
  Speaker 2: in the air fryer, sorry, give it a stir now,
• 51:57
  Speaker 2: and then put the mushrooms on top with some butter
• 51:59
  Speaker 2: and that's and then some meat or fish on the side.
• 52:02
  Speaker 2: That is less than fifteen minutes, much less, because you
• 52:06
  Speaker 2: know most of the stuff is done in.
• 52:08
  Speaker 1: The yeah, while you're folding doing something else.
• 52:10
  Speaker 2: And that is your meal done for the dinner for
• 52:13
  Speaker 2: the day. You know, that's that's your dinner that falls
• 52:16
  Speaker 2: within my hour of housework.
• 52:19
  Speaker 1: It's so that's amazing. Yeah, yeah, that's amazing.
• 52:22
  Speaker 2: You know.
• 52:22
  Speaker 1: I think, yeah, I think when when you you can build,
• 52:26
  Speaker 1: I think that when we look at our daily tasks
• 52:28
  Speaker 1: and if we have a list in our head, we
• 52:30
  Speaker 1: overestimate how long it's going to take because we're like
• 52:33
  Speaker 1: moping around.
• 52:36
  Speaker 2: That's also, don't give yourself a huge list of tasks
• 52:41
  Speaker 2: and expect yourself to get them all done in the day.
• 52:43
  Speaker 2: You know, like, I've got this. I'm trying again. On
• 52:46
  Speaker 2: the side of our house's all these weeds. I'm trying
• 52:49
  Speaker 2: to turn it into another flower of bit. But it's
• 52:51
  Speaker 2: really overrun by weeds. So every day I put a
• 52:55
  Speaker 2: podcast on and I'm just I've got a small weeding
• 52:58
  Speaker 2: like a bucket that I just filled with wheat. And
• 53:00
  Speaker 2: every day I'm like, I just fill one bucket up, yeah,
• 53:03
  Speaker 2: with weeds. And that just hacks away a bit of
• 53:05
  Speaker 2: the job and it takes.
• 53:08
  Speaker 1: And then you're not like, oh my god, I did
• 53:10
  Speaker 1: half and now I'm dreading having to do the other half.
• 53:13
  Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly, like I just do, I'm just going to
• 53:15
  Speaker 2: fill one bucket up.
• 53:16
  Speaker 1: It's like when you're trying to redo like your bedroom
• 53:18
  Speaker 1: and the wardrobe and you pull everything out and you're like,
• 53:21
  Speaker 1: what the fuck have I done? Now I've got to
• 53:23
  Speaker 1: finish this. It's like that, you know those like reels
• 53:25
  Speaker 1: or tiktoks of people with ADHD, and then they're like,
• 53:27
  Speaker 1: oh what about the Before they know it, their whole
• 53:29
  Speaker 1: house is what all their shit is in one giant pile,
• 53:32
  Speaker 1: and now they're like staring at it.
• 53:33
  Speaker 2: Like it's the thing. It's also get to know yourself
• 53:37
  Speaker 2: and what you're like, like, if I pull everything out
• 53:39
  Speaker 2: of the wardrobe, I'll never want to organize my wardrobe.
• 53:42
  Speaker 2: Yeh again, so I don't do everything. Yeah, I'll do one.
• 53:45
  Speaker 1: Draw exactly, one thing at a time. Yeah, so hopeful
• 53:49
  Speaker 1: that helped ranch that that's that was our cousin that
• 53:51
  Speaker 1: wrote it and asked that question. Love is mug um okay?
• 53:57
  Speaker 1: How to get back into it after a break in
• 53:59
  Speaker 1: a small aren't way rather than going balls in and
• 54:02
  Speaker 1: doing an injury. This is good because you actually just
• 54:04
  Speaker 1: had surgery.
• 54:05
  Speaker 2: I did. I just had my appendix out.
• 54:09
  Speaker 1: And I was in tears of laughter. I should have
• 54:11
  Speaker 1: actually had to explain that I should have actually been
• 54:14
  Speaker 1: a bit kinder to you, but she was like, yeah,
• 54:16
  Speaker 1: they removed my appendix and surprise, surprise, and it's been
• 54:20
  Speaker 1: sent to pathology. And I'm crying with laughter imagining your
• 54:25
  Speaker 1: appendix floating around in this probably like solution.
• 54:29
  Speaker 2: And even talked to you after the surgeon because he's like,
• 54:32
  Speaker 2: so your appendix was quite long and rubbery, and I'm like, well, definitely,
• 54:38
  Speaker 2: to alexis the structure of my appendix.
• 54:42
  Speaker 1: I was cackling, being like my floating around Sydney and
• 54:45
  Speaker 1: a jar. Your appendix is somewhere and I could just imagine.
• 54:49
  Speaker 1: It's so funny the thought of it.
• 54:50
  Speaker 2: That was two weeks ago. Yeah, so I've had a
• 54:52
  Speaker 2: little little keyhole things, so, you know, and I've gotten
• 54:56
  Speaker 2: back from heaps of injuries.
• 54:59
  Speaker 1: So many you you've had knee reconstructions, your back surgery
• 55:03
  Speaker 1: that was huge.
• 55:03
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so I probably like the back surgery was the
• 55:06
  Speaker 2: big one. And if you're coming back from an injury,
• 55:08
  Speaker 2: the one thing I would say is if you have
• 55:10
  Speaker 2: your community, keep your community. Don't isolate yourself when you're
• 55:15
  Speaker 2: coming back. So have your strict rehab plan or you know,
• 55:20
  Speaker 2: if you just haven't been training for a while, obviously
• 55:23
  Speaker 2: back off for whatever your workouts have been. Take thirty
• 55:27
  Speaker 2: forty percent off the load, the duration, the intensity, whatever
• 55:31
  Speaker 2: it might be, because the first week really bites when you
• 55:34
  Speaker 2: haven't been around, it really really bites. If you're rehabbing something,
• 55:38
  Speaker 2: keep your rehab plan, go and do it where you
• 55:40
  Speaker 2: normally train. Go if you train with your mates, go
• 55:43
  Speaker 2: to the gym.
• 55:44
  Speaker 1: So like after your back surgery, were you still going
• 55:46
  Speaker 1: to CrossFit and just doing.
• 55:47
  Speaker 2: CrossFit or standing in the corner and I was doing
• 55:50
  Speaker 2: my little back surgery, you know hip raises, Yeah, like
• 55:53
  Speaker 2: really dog stuff and doing that in the corner and
• 55:56
  Speaker 2: having some banter and laugh with my mates.
• 55:59
  Speaker 1: So you still yeah, yeah, that's huge.
• 56:01
  Speaker 2: It's massive because being injured, losing fitness, losing strength, and
• 56:06
  Speaker 2: losing your community is way too much.
• 56:09
  Speaker 1: Because I remember when you first had a knee reconstruction,
• 56:11
  Speaker 1: this before you were training upper body, and you said
• 56:14
  Speaker 1: that it really affected you mentally because you weren't training
• 56:16
  Speaker 1: at all because that was at the time when you're
• 56:17
  Speaker 1: doing like no endurance cycling, and you were like, that
• 56:21
  Speaker 1: was fucked. And then you had the other knee done
• 56:24
  Speaker 1: and then you started training upper body and you're like,
• 56:26
  Speaker 1: why didn't I do this the first time?
• 56:27
  Speaker 2: I know that's the knee that I said that that
• 56:30
  Speaker 2: knee recon was the best thing to have happened to
• 56:32
  Speaker 2: my upper body strength. Yeah, I'm just gonna get the
• 56:34
  Speaker 2: you know.
• 56:35
  Speaker 1: Because I'm not going through that like low state again.
• 56:38
  Speaker 2: No, never again.
• 56:39
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 56:40
  Speaker 2: Yeah, So there's always something you can do. And so
• 56:42
  Speaker 2: even after this, well, say I did the same thing
• 56:45
  Speaker 2: after my back surgery. They're like, you can't lift more
• 56:47
  Speaker 2: than five kilos, Like, okay, so how can I make
• 56:50
  Speaker 2: five kilos work for me?
• 56:52
  Speaker 1: I can't.
• 56:53
  Speaker 2: I have to be completely supported, you know, because I
• 56:55
  Speaker 2: just had back surgery and I can't lift more than
• 56:57
  Speaker 2: five kilos. There's a lot I can do. So I'd
• 57:00
  Speaker 2: go to the gym and do five kilos chess flies, yeah,
• 57:04
  Speaker 2: you know how slowly ten seconds for ten reps ten sets. Okay.
• 57:09
  Speaker 2: It took forever. Yeah, but it was five kilos and
• 57:11
  Speaker 2: I stuck to the rules and I would do reverse
• 57:14
  Speaker 2: flies and supported ropes. There were the three exercises I
• 57:17
  Speaker 2: could do fresher because I couldn't lie down and get
• 57:19
  Speaker 2: up off the chair. So those three exercises, and I
• 57:22
  Speaker 2: was doing them at south Bank Gym. Yeah. Yeah, as
• 57:25
  Speaker 2: I was going there and doing those three exercises, which
• 57:28
  Speaker 2: takes forever when you're taking that long.
• 57:30
  Speaker 1: Yeah, And I just.
• 57:30
  Speaker 2: Listened to a podcast and be like, Okay, this is
• 57:32
  Speaker 2: going to be really mundane, but it's all I could do.
• 57:36
  Speaker 2: And it kept me in the rhythm of actually doing
• 57:38
  Speaker 2: something and stayed within the rules.
• 57:39
  Speaker 1: Yeah. And then mentally there's always.
• 57:42
  Speaker 2: Something you can do, yeah, to get yourself back in
• 57:45
  Speaker 2: and progress from there. But yeah, again it depends if,
• 57:48
  Speaker 2: like the question, if she's injured, or if you've just
• 57:51
  Speaker 2: been away on hiatus for a while.
• 57:53
  Speaker 1: Yeah, then I think it still would apply. Even if
• 57:56
  Speaker 1: you've been away on hiatus. It's still that idea of like,
• 58:00
  Speaker 1: you know you overall, you know you're ticking the Yes,
• 58:03
  Speaker 1: am I physically doing something? But am I doing like
• 58:06
  Speaker 1: is it part of my routine and my lifestyle not
• 58:08
  Speaker 1: just this angle that I've got to get done? Is
• 58:10
  Speaker 1: like my community or my mental health, Like as long
• 58:13
  Speaker 1: as you're still ticking.
• 58:14
  Speaker 2: If you've been away for a while to sort of
• 58:16
  Speaker 2: go you hear a lot of people when they've been
• 58:19
  Speaker 2: off for a while they sort of go, oh, well,
• 58:20
  Speaker 2: I've got to get fit before I go back. Like
• 58:23
  Speaker 2: let's say, if you train with people like.
• 58:25
  Speaker 4: Another week wo no no, no, no, no, you go
• 58:28
  Speaker 4: back and you make it clear, guys, I'm not gonna
• 58:31
  Speaker 4: stick with you for the whole saying late to you, guys, I've.
• 58:35
  Speaker 2: Been off for a while.
• 58:36
  Speaker 4: This is you know, if you're going for a run,
• 58:38
  Speaker 4: meet up with your mates at the start, Yeah, they're
• 58:40
  Speaker 4: gonna run out there pace, be like sweet and catch
• 58:42
  Speaker 4: your guys at the end whatever it might be. Put
• 58:44
  Speaker 4: your headphones unless you've met your mates and you'll meet
• 58:47
  Speaker 4: them at the end of gat. Yeah, you need to
• 58:49
  Speaker 4: keep your community. It's really important this whole Like I
• 58:53
  Speaker 4: need to get fit to do it. I need I
• 58:54
  Speaker 4: need to get fitter to go back. You're just delaying
• 58:57
  Speaker 4: again delaying, you're going to losing.
• 59:01
  Speaker 2: And I just go back and stick to your rules,
• 59:04
  Speaker 2: keep your community.
• 59:04
  Speaker 1: So I've got this friend who on the Northern Beaches
• 59:07
  Speaker 1: and she had a baby and it was in that
• 59:08
  Speaker 1: time where you're not supposed to be like it, like
• 59:10
  Speaker 1: you didn't have the medical clearance or whatever. But she
• 59:12
  Speaker 1: would go with the baby. It's for the coffee catch
• 59:14
  Speaker 1: up after the run club.
• 59:16
  Speaker 2: She still hit that need to keep the community. And
• 59:19
  Speaker 2: I think like one of our training buddy, she's been
• 59:21
  Speaker 2: away for ages.
• 59:22
  Speaker 1: We've been like, where have you been.
• 59:24
  Speaker 2: She's been overseas and she's been injured. We can't wait
• 59:27
  Speaker 2: to see you come back. She's like, yeah, I'm back
• 59:28
  Speaker 2: this week, but it's going to be so painful, Like well,
• 59:31
  Speaker 2: not really, she's obviously not going to be going harder.
• 59:34
  Speaker 2: Know she's been away for ages, but it'd be we
• 59:37
  Speaker 2: just can't wait to see her, and she's obviously can't
• 59:39
  Speaker 2: wait to come back to her community as well. It's
• 59:41
  Speaker 2: really it's important.
• 59:42
  Speaker 1: So yeah, definitely like trying to look at all the
• 59:45
  Speaker 1: other things that you're doing. It's not just going in.
• 59:47
  Speaker 1: What do they say balls in and doing an injury.
• 59:50
  Speaker 1: Yeah exactly, that is all. We've gone over the hour mark,
• 59:55
  Speaker 1: but that I could have gone forever. Thank you so much.
• 59:59
  Speaker 1: I've got to I've got to get you on more regularly. Also,
• 1:00:01
  Speaker 1: I'm really excited because I've like dropped the ball on
• 1:00:04
  Speaker 1: like the workouts in the app. So I'm actually getting
• 1:00:07
  Speaker 1: Stephanie to help me with workouts in the app. So
• 1:00:10
  Speaker 1: if you are a member, get ready for pain. And
• 1:00:15
  Speaker 1: if you are not a member, then fucking join the
• 1:00:18
  Speaker 1: app and yeah, enjoy the workouts. Thank you so much
• 1:00:23
  Speaker 1: for joining Pipe.
• 1:00:23
  Speaker 2: Thank you. I love you.
• 1:00:25
  Speaker 1: Let's get a hash up.
• 1:00:26
  Speaker 2: I'm so excited guys. That is offered today.
• 1:00:28
  Speaker 1: As always, remember be can't yourself, you can't your brain.
• 1:00:31
  Speaker 1: Don't take ship from anyone, and especially.
• 1:00:33
  Speaker 2: Don't take ship from yourself. Don'tger donk God