Latest / UNMASKED with Wesley Farnsworth / EP 47 - When Your Past Tries to Define You Again

Transcript

EP 47 - When Your Past Tries to Define You Again · UNMASKED with Wesley Farnsworth

• 0:03
  Have you ever noticed how your past as a way of showing up
• 0:07
  right when you're trying to move forward?
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  Not when you're stuck, not when you're repeating the same
• 0:14
  patterns. But the moment you decide that I
• 0:18
  don't want to live like this anymore, that's when it gets
• 0:21
  loud. Not loud in a shouting kind of
• 0:25
  way, but loud in a familiar way. A voice that sounds like a
• 0:31
  memory, A voice that sounds like truth.
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  A voice that sounds like you. And it doesn't argue, it just
• 0:42
  reminds. You've been here before.
• 0:46
  You know how this goes. This is who you are.
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  And if you're not careful, you don't question it.
• 0:55
  You disagree? Let that sit for a second.
• 1:09
  Welcome to Unmasked, where we take off the filters and we get
• 1:12
  real about faith, failure, and finding freedom.
• 1:16
  I'm your host, Wesley Farnsworth, a dad, veteran,
• 1:20
  author, and a man who's learned that God does his best work in
• 1:24
  the middle of our mess. Each episode we have honest
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  conversations with people who have walked through addiction,
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  pain or doubt, and with pastors, leaders, and everyday believers
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  who are learning to live and lead authentically.
• 1:39
  So take a breath, pull up a chair, and let's get real.
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  This is unmasked. I want to sit here for just a
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  moment because there's a moment that most people try to rush
• 1:59
  past. That moment when you try to move
• 2:03
  forward, but something inside of you pulls you back.
• 2:09
  Because for most people, they don't actually stop and examine
• 2:13
  that moment. They feel it, and then they
• 2:17
  either ignore it or they give into it.
• 2:21
  But they don't sit in it. They don't ask where is this
• 2:26
  coming from? They don't ask why it feels so
• 2:30
  convincing. They just move on or they just
• 2:37
  stop all together. And I think there's something
• 2:41
  really important happening in that moment because that's not
• 2:46
  just a memory, that's your past trying to introduce you again.
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  Your past doesn't usually come at you like an accusation.
• 3:00
  It doesn't show up and say you're a failure.
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  It would be easier to reject it then.
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  Instead, it shows up like a pattern.
• 3:11
  It connects dots. It reminds you of moments.
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  It builds a case. Remember that time you tried
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  this? Remember how that ended?
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  Remember who you were back then. And slowly it shifts from memory
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  to meaning, from what happened to who you are.
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  And that shift is so subtle that you almost don't even notice it
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  happening. See, there's a difference
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  between remembering something and becoming it.
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  But we blur that line all the time.
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  We take something that we did and we wear it like something
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  that we are. We take something that we went
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  through and we build a label out of it.
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  And then we carry that label forward into every new season,
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  every new opportunity, every new step of obedience.
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  So even when God is inviting us into something new, we're still
• 4:23
  introducing ourselves as someone old because that is where a lot
• 4:32
  of us are living. It feels true to us, and there's
• 4:43
  a reason why it's hard. It's because your past isn't
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  lying about everything. And that's what makes it
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  dangerous. It's rooted in real events, real
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  decisions, real consequences, real struggles.
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  And so when it speaks, it doesn't feel false.
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  It feels accurate. And because it feels accurate,
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  we assume it's authoritative. But there's a difference.
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  Something can be accurate and still not have the right to
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  define you. Let me say that again.
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  Something can be accurate and still not have the right to
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  define you. When it does try to define you,
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  that is the moment that your past oversteps its boundaries.
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  That is the moment that your past becomes dangerous.
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  The moment it starts predicting your future is where it crosses
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  the line. It's not just reminding you now
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  of what happened, but it's telling you what will happen.
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  It's saying things like you've always been like this.
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  You'll probably fall again. This isn't going to last.
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  And if you listen long enough, you start adjusting your life
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  around that expectation. You stop taking risks.
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  You stop stepping forward. You stop believing that change
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  is actually possible. Not because you don't want to
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  grow, but because you've already decided how the story ends.
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  But how we start agreeing without realizing it.
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  That's the hard part. Because we don't just hear
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  thoughts, we repeat them. We reinforce them.
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  Even. I've always struggled like this.
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  This is just how I am. I'm not that kind of person.
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  And we say these things casually, almost like we're just
• 7:16
  being honest. But over time, those statements
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  become identity. They become the lens that we see
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  everything through. They become the reason that we
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  stop trying. And This is why real change
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  feels uncomfortable. Not because it's hard, but
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  because it challenges who you believe that you are.
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  If you've lived under one name long enough, anything different
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  feels unfamiliar. Even if it's better.
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  Even if it's healthier, even if it is exactly what you have been
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  praying for, it still feels off because it doesn't match the
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  identity that your past has given you.
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  And when something doesn't match your identity, you either reject
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  it or you sabotage it. See, I don't want to.
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  I don't want to rush this because I want you to think
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  about your own life. Where have you experienced
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  something good that started to happen and instead of fully
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  stepping into it, you hesitated. You questioned it.
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  You pulled back. Not because it was wrong, but
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  because it didn't feel like you. That, my friends, is not random.
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  That is your past trying to keep its name on you.
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  See, you have to decide who actually gets to name you.
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  This is where everything starts to shift.
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  Because identity, it doesn't belong to your past.
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  Identity belongs to God. And that's not a comforting
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  idea. That's confrontation.
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  Because if God gets to name you, then your past doesn't.
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  And that means some of the things that you have been
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  calling yourself, they don't get to stay.
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  Even if they feel true, even if they have been there a long
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  time, even if they make sense based on your history, they do
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  not get the final word. God doesn't just ignore your
• 10:02
  past though. But he doesn't let it define you
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  either. He sees it.
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  He sees it all fully, clearly, without minimizing it.
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  But when he speaks identity, He speaks from purpose, from
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  intention, from who you are becoming, not just who you were.
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  There's a verse in scripture that says if anyone is in
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  Christ, they are a new creation, new creation.
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  Not a slightly improved version, not a better managed version,
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  new. And that is hard to accept,
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  especially when the old voice is still right there, sounding so
• 11:01
  convincing. So we argue with God.
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  Even when we hear it. We hesitate because trusting
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  God's voice over our past requires letting go of something
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  familiar and familiarity. Feel safe, even when it's
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  limiting. So we argue quietly.
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  But we argue. God says that you're redeemed.
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  We think you don't understand what I've done.
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  God says you're his. We think maybe someday.
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  God says you're new. We think I don't feel new and we
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  let how we feel override what he says.
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  But the shift doesn't happen all at once.
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  Most people don't think about that or talk about it.
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  See, letting go of old identity. It's not a one time decision,
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  it's a process. Because your past doesn't stop
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  speaking overnight. It's going to keep showing up.
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  It's going to keep trying to reintroduce you.
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  And every time it does, you have a choice.
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  Agree with it or question it. Return to it or move forward.
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  Reinforce it or release it, and that choice shows up more often
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  than you think. Living with a new identity is
• 13:02
  going to feel strange at first, trust me.
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  Because you're not used to it. You're used to being introduced
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  through your past, through your struggles, through your
• 13:19
  failures, through your addiction, through your
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  patterns. And when you start letting go of
• 13:27
  those things, there's a gap. There's going to be a space
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  where your old name, it doesn't fit anymore, but the new one
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  hasn't fully settled in yet. And that space is going to feel
• 13:43
  uncomfortable. But it's in this space where
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  transformation happens. Many people, they try to rush
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  this stage because they they want to feel confident
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  immediately. They want the new identity to
• 14:02
  feel natural right away. But my friends, it doesn't work
• 14:07
  like that. You have to learn it, grow into
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  it, and practice it. And overtime, what once felt
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  unfamiliar is going to start feeling like home.
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  Your past can inform you, but it can't name you.
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  This is a line I want you to remember.
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  I'm going to say it again. Your past can inform you, but it
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  can't rename you. It can teach you.
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  It can shape your perspective. It can remind you what matters,
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  but it does not have the authority to define who you are.
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  That authority belongs to God and God alone.
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  So here's your action step this week.
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  The next time your past tries to introduce you, I want you to
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  pause. Don't rush past it.
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  Don't automatically agree with it.
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  Just pause and ask this, is this my past speaking or is this who
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  God says I am? And then sit with that.
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  Don't rush the answer because that moment, that pause, that
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  awareness is where everything starts to shift.
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  Thanks for joining me today on Unmasked.
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  If something in this episode spoke to you, don't let it stop
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  with you. Share it with the one person
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  that God put on your heart while you were listening.
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  You never know whose breakthrough might start with
• 15:58
  just a simple message from you. If you want more encouragement,
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  you want to work with me one-on-one, or you're interested
• 16:05
  in having me speak at your church or event, you can find
• 16:08
  everything@wesleyfernsworth.com and make sure you join the
• 16:13
  Unmasked community by connecting with me on social media so that
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  we can keep walking this journey together.
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  I've provided all the links in the show notes.
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  Until next time, remember that grace is greater than your past,
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  and real freedom begins the moment that you choose to live
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  unmasked. God bless you.