Latest / The Drop the Needle Podcast / 54: Ep. 54 The Illusion of Separation, Awakening & the Truth About Who You Really Are | Panache Desai

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54: Ep. 54 The Illusion of Separation, Awakening & the Truth About Who You Really Are | Panache Desai · The Drop the Needle Podcast

• Welcome to the Drop the Needle Podcast, your backstage pass to the mystical realm. I'm your host, Jim Alstatt. And here, gifted souls step up to the mic, sharing their spiritual journey. We're hitting the high notes in the low notes of their awakening, creating a symphony of enlightenment. This isn't just another interview show. This is where divine insights are channeled and universal truths are revealed. So crank up your stereo and sit back, because who knows, this just might help you compose the next transformative chapter of your soul's purpose. Are you ready? Let's go. Hi everyone and welcome back to the Drop the Needle Podcast. I'm your host, Jim Alstott, and I am so happy you all decided to join us. Today's guest is a best selling author, spiritual teacher, husband, father, and so much more. But here's what really drew me to Panache. It's his authentic calling to service. Not service to benefit himself or his family or his circle personally, but his service to others to be a beacon of light, showing consistency and love for countless others. So I'm going to go ahead and stop yammering on right now because the man that I really want to speak with, Mr. Panache Desai, is waiting. So welcome Panache. Thanks for having me. That's a beautiful intro, Jim. Beautiful. Thank you so much. Well, thank you and thank you for making the time. And, and I mentioned to you a little bit before we started that this is, this is kind of a dream come true for me. And I, and I promised Chris and you I wouldn't fanboy too much on this, but it's, it's very exciting for me to have you. Definitely. Thank you. Well, I'm honored to get into it with you. Excellent. Yeah. So why don't we jump on in and would you mind telling everyone a little bit about you, your background? Sure. I think the most pertinent points to kind of get everyone caught up is, you know, I was born into a very spiritual family, like so many of us. Just felt lost in this world, went through my own fair share of suffering and turmoil as a result of trying to fit in and belong. At the grand old age of about 21 or 22, I had an uncomfortable conversation with my mother. And I just said, mom, I felt like I'm living a lie and I have to go away and just live like a monk for six months. And to my surprise, she said, okay, great. And so she said, where are you gonna go? You're to India? I said, no, I want to go to America. And it just so happened that at the time, I had a green card. And at that point in immigration history, you either had to use it or lose it as a British national. And so I'm like, okay, well, let's. Let's go to America. And came out here, was in the Catskills, and just went through this powerful kind of inner transformation where I could no longer deny who I was or why I was here, and really got in touch with the truth of myself, which is coincidentally, the truth of everyone who's listening as well, and tried to go back to London after that period. Didn't fit in, didn't belong, didn't resonate with anything remotely English or British anymore, and just knew I had to come back to the US And Mama said, where are you going to go? I said, well, you know, I met someone. Thankfully, they have a room to rent in Manhattan. I think I'll start there. Because I figured from London it was less of a culture shock or less of an abrupt immersion into America to start with New York, especially coming from London. So it was there, wandered around, quickly figured out that I wasn't supposed to be there, and just kind of embarked on this kind of journey, this kind of synchronistic journey that led me across the country, all the way to California, and then subsequently landed me from California to Florida, where my net wife, who's Jan, who's. We've been together for, like, 19 years now, and now Nashville. And, you know, it's interesting because all of that progression, as much as it sounds like it's a linear progression through time, or it feels like it's a series of different geographic locations, all of that was just about my willingness to really step into who I really am and to finally embrace what I've come here to share. And as a child, I'd had, you know, a whole myriad of experiences where people would just sit with me, and all of a sudden, it's like they'd start to, you know, go through everything they had to go through. They'd get up and they'd be sparkly. And so there was always this kind of thing happening around me that didn't make any sense to me. And I finally gotten to a place within myself, and it took me, you know, 20 something years to finally embrace it. And I'm still embracing it to this day. I don't think that ever ends to where I could now be with it and express it in a way where it would be of service to others. And. And that's kind of the overarching kind of view of. Of How I've ended up in Nashville and how Call to Calm came into being and how you and I are here today. Yes, yes. And so I want to talk about something, and I think it's really remarkable, and I also think it doesn't get enough attention. And that is when you started Call to Calm, the daily meditations, and you started that in March of 2020, and that was right when the world was falling apart. And you've shown up to this almost every single weekday since. And that's approaching five years now. And what it's also. Well, I guess it was over 1600 morning sessions or sessions. 1663, I believe was this morning, or 1665, something like that. Yeah, yeah, it's. It's incredible. And. And you've offered them for free. And that's an extraordinary commitment to service. And I have to imagine that kind of sustained daily practice with a consistent community has taught you things that you couldn't have learned any other way. And what I'd like to know is how has the energy of that, the collective, changed since you started to today? Or has it? I think it's totally shifted because, you know, this wonderful group of people from all over the world have been on this journey. And, you know, when we first started, it was all about everything related to survival, you know, and how do I navigate my business, you know, how I have to make a decision about a loved one, you know, what do I do, you know, what do I do in terms of myself and my own health and my own well being. And so when people first showed up, it was, you know, everyone was in a varying degrees of crisis, I guess, and, and trying to figure out who they are. And amongst the crisis also, for the first time ever, people found themselves at home with their significant others for an extended period of time. And they were navigating that they were. They were navigating being parents and being with their children. Right. Because most people were just out working. So this was such a concentrated amount of time for everyone to get into the truth of themselves and to begin to figure out what's authentically in alignment with them and what isn't. And, you know, I knew in my heart that it was the most important thing to focus on was peace. Because while people were going through this upheaval in their lives and there's nothing that we could do about that, it's so pivotal that we be in a place of calm and peace. So that when it comes to the decision making, when it comes to making the choices, when it comes to uncovering these destiny points. We're in alignment with them. We're heart centered with them. We're not operating from survival or overwhelm. And that's how Call to Calm began. And really, Call to Calm began as a giant. Thank you. My daughter, who's going to be 11 years old in two days, which is a crazy statistic, spent the first 18 months of her life in hospital. She's a twin. And she had like five open heart surgeries. And then. And then she flatlined for like eight minutes. And then subsequently, at the end of that 18 months, she had a heart transplant. And, you know, Jim, I'll never be able to say thank you. I'm gonna. I'm gonna cry now. I'll never be able to thank that family, you know, the donor heart. Like, what they went through. Like, I'll never be able to say thank you, Jim. You know, they didn't know me, you know, didn't matter that I was Panache Desai. You know, they. They gave us the gift of having this little kid make it, you know, at the cost of so much grief and turmoil for them. I'll never meet them. It's totally anonymous. You know, I do these meditations every day in the hope that somebody who's related to them finally just shows up maybe at one of the meditations, and I can say thank you, that I can somehow help them in the way that they've helped me. And, you know, and it's crazy, you know, and I didn't realize that I still had so much emotion around this, but I guess with her birthday coming up, you know, she's 11 now, she's perfectly healthy. Cheerleading, gymnastics, she's fine, you know, but there's no way to ever say thank you for that. There's no way to ever be the same after that. When. When the kindness and the love of another person touches you for no reason, it alters you, Jim. It just. It alters you. It alters the part, the path and trajectory of your life. And, you know, for me, I had one friend that called me every day when I was going through everything with Celeste, the busiest person in the world. Like, he was in fashion, so he's constantly in different city related to the fashion industry or whatever, and he would call me every day. And when the world shut down, I was scheduled to do a 60 city book tour, and we canceled the whole book tour. And. And you are Enough had just become a national bestseller. And the world shuts down. At that point, I'm like, listen, I just need to Go live every day, even if nobody comes, if one person comes, it doesn't matter. Like, I just need to be available for people. I. I just want to show up and, you know, and I want to do that because I want to do that from my heart. And, you know, here we are all these days later, over five and a half years later and almost six years, I guess, in March. And, you know, we have almost 2000 people every day from all over the world who come from literally every corner of the globe. People are still coming. And. And we're still here. And. And the whole community has evolved because now we're really exploring what it means to live from this place of connection, what it means to live from this place of authenticity, you know, whereas before it was all, how do I navigate this? How do I deal with this? And that was all well and good, you know, where the world was. Now it's like, how do I really embody this? You know, how do I make this sustainable? Right? And so that's kind of the genesis of it all, and that's kind of how we ended up here. It's how you ended up here, you know? Yeah. It's how everybody ended up here. As I mentioned, my. I have a very good friend, her name's Irene, who had said, you know what? I listened to this gentleman, his name's Panache Desai, and I think you'd really enjoy him. So she sent over the link. She turned me onto it. I listened. I was going to say read your book, but I'm corrected frequently by my wife that I don't read. I listen. And by the way, your audiobook is amazing. I love. Thank you. Listening to you read that, it's. It's just fantastic. But I've got to say that one of the things I admire most about you is your willingness to be real about your journey and just be transparent and vulnerable. And I think a lot of people in our audience know pieces of what your family went through with Celeste. And thank you for sharing that about those. I'm sure they had to feel like they were bleak moments at times, especially because they're out of your. Your control. Right? You. You can't do anything about that. So with all of your. And this is a question for you, because I'm really curious to know, because it's really easy to go back to old habits when the, you know, what hits the fan. But I'm curious that when Celeste was at her most critical, what was happening inside of you spiritually? Did the tools. An understanding you've been sharing with the others show up for you in that moment, or did you have to find something deeper that you didn't even know was there? So I think, I think this, there's a multi kind of layered way of being that we all enjoy, right? There's the surface. There's a surface level of being a father and a parent and then there's who we really are beyond all of that. And you know, for me that was a time of just like the illusion falling away. You know, just as a parent, when you go through something, almost losing a child or even losing your child world, you know, you feel such a sense of powerlessness because there's nothing you can do. And that powerlessness is only ever at the level of the identity. And so when crisis happens, actually we're being given a blessing. It doesn't feel that way, but we're being given a blessing and it's a blessing that we have to embrace. Because as painful as is, as hard as it is, it's giving you an entry point into something greater. And that's something greater is this more infinite sense of power that's beyond who we are as individuals. In that situation, there was nothing that I could do. I had to surrender the outcome of her life. And in. At that point, in full transparency, my mum was struggling. So my mum's normally my rock and my foundation. She wasn't available. My wife was struggling, you know, she wasn't available. I had Olivia and Sophia, my older twins, at home in Naples. All of this was happening in Milwaukee. And meanwhile I had Leo, who is Celeste's twin, who was, you know, all of a sudden they wanted to send him home two days post birth, you know, and I had to beg and plead with them to keep him for four just so I could spend some time with Celeste. And eventually I had to bring him home. So. So it's, it's so. We were dealing with so many different things on so many different levels, honestly, that if I hadn't had the foundation of being in the meditation room, of a connection to some power greater than myself, honestly, I don't think I would have made it. I don't think the marriage would have made it. I don't think my. I don't think any part of my life would be the way that it is right now. It's because of the grace and the blessing of everything that I'd gone through before that I was finally able to access some semblance of calm and peace in myself in that moment of surrender. And of course today, you know, 11 years on, right. Nine years on. You know, Jan and I are totally different human beings as a result of this. None of us take anything for granted anymore. We know that all of this stuff that, you know, everyone else believes is important just isn't important. It doesn't matter. And there's nothing left for us to do but to be of service and. But to be available for others. It's like there's nothing left anymore. Right. You know, you don't want to go anywhere. You don't want to do anything. You've done everything. You've been everywhere. You've revealed it for the illusion that it is. And all that's left now is to just share your heart with people and to be the human being that you are. And that's where we've ended up. And I'm very grateful for the foundation of spirituality that was present. And even with that foundation of spirituality, it's still very hard because. Because you're going through the death of an illusion, the death of an identity, the death of this construct that you've believed was real or that was important. And life doesn't prepare you for that. You know, you. You don't. You. You don't know where to turn. You don't know who to call. It's a very unique experience, and you have to surrender to it. You have to. You have to really allow it to happen and work its alchemy on you. And, you know, again, here we are. Blessings. Just absolute grace of God, you know, absolute grace of the divine. You know, everyone's healthy, you know, everyone's still together. We made it. You know, so many. So many relationships don't make it through something like this. You know, family dynamics, there's a fissure that happens. They never, you know, they. Things fall apart, you know, in the. In the presence of crisis. And, you know, we were blessed. That actually it had the opposite effect, and it's brought everyone closer together now in. In so many ways. So. Yeah, you're right, because I've heard so many times the opposite things happen. It does. It pushes the other family member, the spouse or partner, out the door. And it is because of the pressure. But you. You had mentioned something about just opening up and essentially exposing your heart. Yeah. Which is I view as your true essence or your soul essence at that point. Is that what you're. You're talking about? Yeah, essentially. I think, you know, I think we all have the same essence. We're just kind of masquerading as these people, you know, with Roles and responsibilities and titles. But underneath all of that, there's this kind of collective, kind of vibrational love, light, presence that so many people speak of and so many great beings have connected to since the beginning of time. And that's real, you know, that's really the essence of who we all are, you know, and when you go through something like this, you very quickly realize the truth, you know, you very quickly discover the truth of who you are, why you're here, and what the point of this whole thing is, you know, and the point of this whole thing is not to continue to perpetuate the illusion and to continue to live on this hamster wheel of production and consumption, thinking that in some way that's going to bring you some fulfillment. The point of all of this is to actually allow everything to fall away and to have the courage to let everything fall away until there's nothing left. And in the end, what's left is that essence is the truth of who we are. So, literally, when people have an awakening, and if that awakening comes through, you know, three o' clock in the morning, lights everywhere, or it comes through some crisis, that awakening is the crumbling of the identity, the crumbling of the. Of the ego, the crumbling of this, the created self. And what people do, Jim, is they try and plaster it back together again or take sticky tape and put it back together again, but there is no putting it back together again. You know, you have to let it collapse. You have to let it all cave in on itself. And if you do, if you do, if you. If you have the courage to just let it happen and to accept whatever's going to happen as a part of that, you'll. You'll come out of the other side of it a totally different human being. You'll be the same. You'll still be. You still have emotions and feelings and thoughts and a body and still go through things. However, your relationship with yourself will be totally different. So speaking of relationships, you. I can. I'll. I'll speak for myself in this. I had. We have something in common, by the way. We both had our spiritual awakening on New Year's Eve. I had one in 2019 on New Year's Eve. But where I was going to go with this is that it seems to me that there are times when people will have these awakenings. And let's say that you're in a partnership and you have that, but your partner doesn't. That's a. That's a difficult thing to describe, to share as far as experiences are concerned, because it's not necessarily relatable. I don't know if you've had to deal with something like that before, but I know I have. And there are times, even five years, six years, I guess it's going on seven years now, later, I have a difficult time explaining that to friends, family, spouse. I'm just wondering what your perspective is with that. So I think that the first thing we have to do is to recognize that the awakening is for you. It's not for anyone else. It's not for your spouse or your partner or anyone else. That's the first thing. The second thing is we have to get clear about what we're waking up to. So when people say they've had an awakening, typically what they're waking up to is this light, this love, this presence, right? The form of God, the form of the divine, which is what people encounter. However, the real awakening is beyond that. And the real awakening is to the part that's formless. And the hard part about waking up to the part that's formless is there's no language for that. There's no way to describe it, there's no way to articulate it. There's no understanding it. You're just in this pure potential. And that pure potential is the essence of creation from which everything emerged and everything comes into being. And so I think the first thing we have to do is to shed the illusion that this awakening is necessary in anyone else. And I know that there's somewhat of an attachment in relationship dynamics to wanting that awakening to be present. The best thing to do is to forget that you've had the awakening at all and just live your life like nothing happened and just get on with everything. Because sometimes it can become a trap as well. Another preoccupation where we focus too much. Right? And so. So the. The first illusion that falls away in the awakening is the illusion of the world. The second awake. The second illusion that falls away is the illusion of the other. Right? So, and then the final illusion that falls away is the illusion of you. Yes. And what's left is this truth, right? Of who we really are. That's the same soul that everything is. And so once you've had that experience, then you realize that everything's already awake, everyone's already awakened. That actually no awakening is necessary. You know, that. That nothing needs to be fixed to a changed or improved. Actually, you begin to see and appreciate the absolute perfect perfection of the design of reality itself. That actually everyone needs to be exactly the way that they are. So that you can be who you are. And. And it's a shift that you go through in yourself, because in the presence of that awakening in the deepest form beyond, you know, the light and love part. But once you get to, like, the infinite formless presence part, you know, you begin to experience reality as it was designed to be experienced. So all of a sudden you're experiencing synchronicity, you know, and you're experiencing like, oh, my God. It's like, if this person was even remotely different than they were, then maybe I never would have met them and this wouldn't be happening in the way that is. And all of a sudden you begin to see the perfection in it all. And I mean, everything. That's a really hard thing for people to wrap their minds around. Absolutely. Because when they're observing reality, they're observing it. Observing and experiencing it as anything but perfect, right? Yes. But when you're experiencing it from this place of truth, it's 100% perfect. Every single human being is going through everything that they need to. To come back to the love that they are, to come back to their heart, to come back to the truth of themselves. And so you're right in saying that awakening can cause a fissure in relationship dynamics, but that's only if you expect the person that you're in relationship with to be able to relate to you or to be able to connect to you in that state. And. But that's like expecting another person to love you, Jim, you know, it's like. Yes, that's a difficult thing, you know? Yeah. Actually not difficult. Yeah. So actually, in. In the awakening, in this waking, you have. Right. You realize, Hang on a minute. No, it's not anyone else's responsibility to love me. No one else is capable of loving me. I don't actually. And the funny thing is, too, is you get to a place where you don't even have to do anything with what's happened. Like, you don't actually even have to share it or express it. It's not necessary. Because the ultimate illusion is that there was a moment in time when you weren't already awakened or that you weren't already who you are. So in the human mind, because we have this fixation with time, we're always looking at it in this linear progression. It's like there was Jim before the awakening and then Jim after the awakening. Yes, but Jim was always the soul, no matter what. Correct. So that. That's why even the awakening is for you. It's not really for anyone else. Yes. And. And thank you for that magnificent description of that in your perspective. Because I look at it, you know, you try to keep ego out of it, and every once in a while it's just that humanistic piece of us pops up, right, and keeping expectation out, all of those things that you keep out of the equation that really just boils down to ego and, and trying to strip it all away. It's almost. So I call it. I, I tried to explain it one time to one of my friends that it was a quickening. So in the quickening, and they were like, oh, like the Highlander or whatever, I said, well, yes and yes and no. But the yes piece of that is it just comes down to who you are. It's just you and you to your point, you've always been you. And sometimes that's what we, some people may consider an awakening, is a remembering. Remembering who they were before. All of the different layers get piled up on, on top of them and the beliefs and the everything else. And it's, it's, it's just one of those things that's hard to explain. And I don't, believe me, I don't wear it like a badge because it was not the, the prettiest of times in my life. You know, there, to be perfectly honest with you, it was a mess. And, and you actually, in your, your book talk about that, that when those things happen, there's generally a couple of things going on in, in life. There's either a crisis or. You had mentioned the, the seeing the colors and the, the, this, this glorious, almost religious experience in the meeting of God. So that was certainly the case for me was the crisis mode. And it was not, was not pretty at all. But you know what? I wanted to, to go back, if I can, I'm going to jump around and I will say that I have adhd. So it's. Thank you. Thank you so much. Someone told me that in we're talking 616, episode, or we'll call them episodes or meetings of call to calm that you don't go in there with, I don't know, an agenda, a PowerPoint, a script or anything like that. It's what comes to you right then, right there. Is that true? Yeah, totally. Yeah. Because. Because you can't. Because, because how can you assume to pre qualify what everybody needs or how can you assume to pre qualify where everybody's at? You know, you just, you just have to show up and be yourself and. Yeah, and actually the funny thing is, when I first met Jan, this would Drive Jan crazy because, you know, she came from a world where it's like, okay, well, what are we going to talk about? And I'm like, well, I don't know. What are you going to say? I have no idea. Are we going to write some notes? No, we're not. Okay. Can we at least have a title? I'm like, okay, yeah, we can have a title. And that's all I need. And for Call to Come, really, there is no title. It's just what's going on. But as it relates to an online immersion or what we're doing beyond Call to Come, you know, often there's a title and I'll, you know, address everything related to that title. Right? But, but for the most part, it's not about me. I'm not doing any of this. I don't know where the words come from. I don't know where the energy comes from. I don't know how I ended up in this situation to where all of these things are flowing through me and they always have been. And now I just get to kind of witness it all happening. And it's been that way my whole life. And honestly, Jim, like, I don't even remember what I've said, you know, like, I'll, I'll literally share things and then it's like, it's done, it happened, and then that's the end of it. And then I don't, I don't even hold on to that, you know, and it's always been that way, you know, even when I used to do keynotes and, you know, presentations. So, like, oh yeah, can we load up your teleprompter with, you know, with your speech? I'm like, I don't have one, you know, any p. Any, any PDF, you know, presentations? I'm like, no. Any slides? No, nothing. No, just me, you know, and, and it's always been that way. And I'm glad that it is that way because as a human being, I could never presume to know. I could never, I could never even begin to quantify or understand where everybody else is, you know, so thank God I don't have to. I just show up and everything happens. So that's. You answered some of my follow up questions with that. Because I was. First of all, I wanted to know if that was true. And I kind of, for whatever reason, just felt that it was true. And then I wanted to know, okay, where, where's it coming from? Is it. Because I know that when you hop on early, there is a time where you're just kind of quiet. And I don't know if you're. The antenna is picking up what is needed by the people that are showing up or what it is, because that's when I. In my mind, I'm trying to figure it out, even though I'm going, okay, is it divine channeling that's coming? Is he being told he's been given that? Is he. For picking up on all of those things automatically go through my mind when I try to imagine what it is that you do. Because it is brilliant. It is absolutely brilliant because it is timely. I told my friend Irene, because we talk about the call to calm topics, and I said, you know, it's amazing to me. I'll be sitting there and all of a sudden it's like, oh, that's exactly what I need. That's exactly what I need to hear. And it's almost as though you and I are sitting at the kitchen table drinking tea, just talking. Because you're talking. It's. And I can't. I. I can't figure it out. It's just like, boom, it's there and you are talking to me. Even though there's hundreds, thousand people that are on there, it just feels like it's for me. Is anybody. I'm sure people have told you that. Everybody, actually. The funny thing is, it's not just you. So many people feel that way, you know, and they. And they feel such a sense of connection, you know, and. And it's really made a big difference for people because now they just feel they're not alone in it anymore, you know, and they, and they feel a connection to themselves. They know it's okay to be the way that they are. And, you know, and there's no. And I think the biggest thing that's really helped people is to recognize that. That this whole human thing and this whole divine thing are two totally different things. That actually being a human being is not getting in the way of who you really are. That, that actually it's not something you have to overcome or have be different. You know, that actually the, the, the. The human layer of ourselves is just the part that we have to accept and embrace. And eventually, eventually we, we come to have this sentiment or semblance of love toward that part of ourselves. It doesn't begin that way, but eventually it does. And in the moment that we do that, we realize, wow, this whole human thing, you know, is the blessing. It's what makes everything else possible. But contrary to popular belief, it's not getting in the way, it's not limiting me. It's not low vibrational, it's not something that I have to fix, he'll or understand. It's actually, it's actually the instrument that makes the expression possible. And so if it's that, then it needs to be accepted and embraced. And you know, as to where everything comes from, well, you know, that's been subject for, for, for, for, for people, you know, in terms of curiosity forever, right? It's like, you know, people do channelings and readings, they will come up with a, a different name for the source that you know it is. But ultimately it's the same source that we all are, that flows through all of us, you know, and, and that's really where it originates from. And that's why it feels so deeply personal. Because we're all the same being, you know, we're all the same, we're all the same soul, we're all the same energy. There is no separation. It's a total illusion, you know, and when you know yourself, you really do know everyone. You know, when you accept and embrace yourself, you really do accept and embrace everyone else. You, when you love yourself, you really do love everyone else. It's really, it's really that straightforward because we're interconnected and interwoven and we're all the same at the deepest level. And so this shift for so many people has been so profound because so many people have spent their entire lives like working on themselves, fixing themselves, healing themselves, changing themselves, meditating this thing, that thing, doing everything that they can. And the experience of who they are has eluded them because it's been based in some condition or requirement or prerequisite. But once you get rid of that and you realize, okay, well, no, wait a minute, it's just being human and my humanity really is the doorway into this greater truth and this greater experience. It just becomes so much easier because then you're not trying to live up to some false standard or some illusion of perfection as conceived in the mind of another person. Now all of a sudden you're just the human being that you are. You've got these emotions, you've got these feelings and you actually don't need to be different. You, you don't need your humanity to change at all. You just leave it alone. Because what you realize is that what we've been working on is the illusion of ourselves, that we're this individual person, that we're this identity, that we're the, that's the illusion of it. That's the illusion of it, because that's the part that's based in the impermanence. If it has a beginning and an end, it's not the truth of who we are. Right. Who we really are is infinite, eternal and immortal. And so you don't work on the illusion, you just accept it and embrace it for what it is and you uncover the truth that's underneath it. So why is that? I know it's. It is a lot to take in, but then again, it isn't. So why is it so difficult? Because people have been brainwashed, hypnotized and bamboozled into believing that they're broken, that there's something wrong with them, that they're the problem, you know, and now all of a sudden they're a problem that they, that they have to solve, you know, and create it, I suppose. Right. Yeah. And ultimately, I think it's because we live on a planet where the majority of the population is still in survival and people haven't taken accountability and responsibility for themselves and their lives. And so they project it onto others and make it about other people and then they expect other people to fix it, you know, and. But after a while, you, when you've been alive for long enough, you realize, well, wait a minute. No, no, this, this whole human thing, like I'm the source of it, you know, Everything that's arising and subsiding is arising and residing within me. And as convenient as it is to make it about somebody else or something that's happening in the world, I can't even do that anymore because now I know that it. No, it's coming right within myself, you know, and that's the shift. We're basically growing up as a species. We're kind of maturing as a species. So. Do you feel that, Because I know that there's been a lot of talk that 2026 is a huge leveling up year for humanity. Are you along those same thoughts? I feel, I feel like we're going to keep going until about 2030 or 2033, you know, I very strongly feel guided to keep doing everything until 2030, so. And then we'll see where we're at, you know, and we'll see what's required. And maybe at that point there won't be a need for me or call to calm anymore, you know, I don't know. You know, well, don't go anywhere too quickly. Well enjoy it. But, but this is the thing, right? I'm, I'm open to that, Jim, because I, I want to be around for as Long as I need to be around for. To be of service in the way that I'm here to be of service. And you know, once that's complete, whenever that is, and I kind of get that intuitive sense, I'm at peace with it, you know, and. And it's easy for me because I never imagined myself here anyway. So it's, it's just right. So it's easier to, to just be free of it, you know, because I want people to really be empowered in themselves. I want them to know who they are and have that connection to who they are inside themselves. So then that way they have self sovereignty, autonomy and agency, you know, over their own lives. And that's really what I want for everybody. I love that. I'm going to ask one more question, if I can, before we go on to the musical questions. Is that okay? Sure. You can ask me as many questions that you'd like. I love you and I love the. Thank you so much. You are such a blessing. And I mean that. I love it. So I just went through the process of writing a book myself and I've listened, like I said, I've listened to your book probably three or four times. And I just bought the, the. The printed copy because I find myself wanting to take notes and so I'll listen and take notes in the book too. But anyway, I wanted to find out what your. Why was for your book. You know what I mean? What. Why did you. Why did you write it? Yeah. I'm glad you did. So the book thing is kind of a weird journey because, you know, I was the author speaker conferences, and I was the only person who's doing keynotes without a book. So it's kind of this ongoing running joke, right, that I was at all these conferences again. So I was basically doing the opposite of everyone else. Normally people write a book and then. And then they'll go do these keynotes and they'll do the TV stuff and whatever. And for me, I was already doing all of that stuff. I was already at all the major retreat centers and doing everything I wanted to do without a book. And honestly, I never really imagined a book coming into existence. I never thought of myself as an author, right. Thankfully, in my wife's infinite wisdom, she said, you know what panache? She said, one day there's going to be a book. And what I want to do is just transcribe all of the talks and everything and everything that you've shared. I just want to start transcribing everything and keeping a record of all of this because one day there will be a book. So she knew it. She knew it on a very intuitive level. And so the book thing was hysterical because Neil Donald Walsh came over before the Oprah interview and he said, she said, every copy of Conversations with God touched at least two or three different pairs of hands. And he said, one day you'll write a book like that. I already know it. And, and that was before the Oprah interview. Then the Oprah interview happened. And then she looked at me and said, wow, this is fantastic. Like, you did all of that without a book. Like, write the book. And then she winked at me. And so at that point I'm like, okay, this is weird. Like, I guess there's a book now, you know, Right. But it, but it wasn't something that I initiated. It was something that life was calling from me. And the blessing is that I already had everything, all the transcripts transcribed, you know, and I basically took them all and turned them into a 33 day journey. And that's how Soul Signature came into being, you know, and it's literally that wonderful journey. And, you know, we were assigned a wonderful editor. And so we were able to kind of flesh out this amazing journey out of fear, into love and come to, you know, and show up three times a day and engage with the person who's reading the book three times a day to really have them be immersed in it instead of it just being a standalone kind of thing that you read and then you put it down and then you're done. And so that was the genesis of the first book. It was kind of like the universe, life, God to creation, saying, hey, you know what? We need to, we need a book. Like, and we're going to put you through all these different, really bizarre situations and circumstances to get a book out of you. And I'm like, okay, so that was the first book. You Are Enough was a really different thing for me because, you know, the biggest thing that we struggle with is, is knowing that we're enough in who we are. And, and you know, again, for me, gym like that, like, could I write a book every month? Probably. Like, I'm prolific enough to actually probably finish three books a year if I wanted to get them out, get them turned around. I just don't want to. Because for me, these books aren't just books. They're snapshots of my essence. They're snapshots of who I am at a particular moment in time. So I can't just write books for the sake of writing books. Right. So you Are Enough came out at a point where I had something to say, again, in the form of literature, in the form of a book. And that book has been so pivotal for so many people in so many ways, you know, to connect with. And so it's almost like I had to write Soul Signature and go through all of that to then finally be able to birth this thing called you are Enough. Gotcha. Yeah, that's. And I'm glad you did, by the way. Like I said, I'm so happy you did. Yeah, I was curious about that, because, as I said, you know, I'm. I'm not what I would call a reader of books. I'm a listener of books. In particular, when the author narrates it, I. I'm that much more interested because you get the nuances and the. The how the author emotes in these certain situations, and I just think it's fantastic. But I couldn't. I couldn't tell you why I. I wrote the book. I. I had. My. My wife had asked me, and I just said, I don't know why. I was kind of like, I was pulled or drawn to. To just get it out. And now it's. Now it's done. And in the process that, you know, I don't know what I don't know. And that is pretty much everything when it comes to publishing a book. I didn't know anything, but I'm finding out. It's quite an interesting journey, for sure. Yeah. Yeah, it really is. It's a. It's a deeply cathartic journey, too. It is. It's another form of an awakening if you let it be. 100. The memories were certainly flooding in all the time when it came to that, but I would like to get into the musical questions if I can, and we'll wrap everything up. Sure. Yeah. So, as anyone could tell you who's ever listened to the podcast before, this is the section where I'm going to ask some musical questions of the guests. And as I say, quite frequently, I believe music is the tie that binds us all together. And each of us has a soundtrack that accompanies our life if we just take a moment to think about it. So here we go with the questions. Panache. What was the first song you fell in love with from the radio? That's so hard. Because, see, I grew up with aunts and uncles who were older than me and so in, and they were all still single and not married. And so we had everything from Duran Duran to Boy George to, you know, Madness, you know, Steely Dan, the Rolling Stones, Bob Marley, Dylan, Hendrix. So, so, so, I mean, so on any given day, I mean, we had everything, you know, the Beatles, I mean, you name it. It was. It was a very blessed childhood because, you know, again, everyone was at that point in their lives where they were really into the music and into that scene at that time. And, you know, for me, just being immersed in all of that, so it's. It's hard for me to pinpoint one particular thing. I think, you know, being English and growing up in England in the 80s and 90s was a. Was a gift actually. Like anyone who grew up in England in the 80s and 90s was just immersed in such great music. So I would focus on that genre actually, and just say kind of anything 80s 90s, British rock, pop, even EDM at that time. Wow. Yeah. Is really, really amazing. It was really an amazing time for music. That's excellent. No, I appreciate that and I agree. It. There's some. It's interesting when you hear somebody talk about their era of music that they grew up in, they always say, that was the best. That was the best. The 60s, people who did that, that was the best time. The rest of the music is crap. You know, those things. But I think it's funny and I. I have the most eclectic musical taste that I can. I can think of. Between rap to, you know, Beethoven's Ninth Symphony, you know, I'm all over the board. I love it all. So I was thinking about this one because normally I. Did your family have a song that everyone would belt out on road trips or vacations or something like that? And the thing that I've noticed is more and more the guests may not have done that, but they may have for school or something like that. What I was thinking about for you specifically is in. In your home, and you mentioned some of it, but were there some songs that the entire family would just go, oh yeah, and just start singing along to? So every night at 7pm we'd sing Aarti and Aarti, you light a candle. My grandmother would normally light the candle and she'd do the prayers and the offerings to everyone. And so the songs that we sang were all in Sanskrit. And there was one particular prayer called Jyot sejot, which means to light your light with the light of the divine. And at 7pm every night, we'd all do Jyotse Jyot as a family. And that was my childhood. And. And that's one of the blessings of growing up in a home. With a meditation center, I guess. And on the weekend, on the weekends we'd have all kinds of chanting and kirtan and call and response and Sanskrit and, you know, and that was my childhood. So we had this amazing kind of combination of Sanskrit, spiritual, you know, deeply transformational sound and vibration and then everything from like 60s, 70s, 80s music and then me with some of the 90s stuff, you know. But it was, but it's this wonderful melting pot of sounds and vibrations and different cultures and everything kind of coming together and, and so collectively that was kind of our expression was, was that. I love that. I absolutely love that because I think music is such a, a natural healer of all. I just think it, I just really think that it is. So as you were growing up, you were in school, high school, did you have a song that you, if a group of friends would belt out? So high school was interesting because we went through this kind of period of Brit pops. We went through kind of Oasis and Blur. They were kind of going back and forth and then we, and but for us, really, our radio, we didn't really listen to terrestrial radio because we're just kind of bored with it. We would, we would hijack either side of the FM dial and we'd. And we'd have our own pirate radio shows. Get out. Yeah. And so, you know, for me, my, our music was all like house and garage, like two step or drummer based jungle. Right. UK jungle. Like that was really what we would listen to. Like, you know, people listen to like BBC Radio or you know, whatever the station was. And we just weren't really into that. You know, we were more into the, the more fringe, kind of like a representation of us. Yeah. And so can I think of one particular song? No, but I can think of, you know, some amazing moments of just listening to these two sides of the FM dial and just having this sound kind of blast into my home that was just like, what is this? Like, this is just amazing. Like, you know what's going on. Quite a rebel. Yeah, yeah. Seriously. How about after high school? Did your musical taste change? I think that I, I'm at a point now where I can't really listen to most music anymore. You know, I like, I like more heart centered kind of music now. You know, I don't, I don't really resonate with most of the music now, sadly. I'm just, maybe it's my age, I don't know. But I, I don't really, I don't resonate with it. So for me it's like I really connect with. I mean, in the house, we're playing like Andrea Bocelli or, you know, classical music or, you know, just more melodic music. It's just. It's just bad. It just feels better to me. You know, I like Ed Sheeran in a modern context. You know, I think he. I think Ed's great. You know, I love his story. I saw his story through his documentary and appreciate a lot of what he's gone through and really relate to a lot of his struggles and his experiences growing up in London, you know, so we do have some great singer songwriters and. And people, you know, today that you can connect with, but it's harder to find. You know, Miles Smith is another good one. You know, he's amazing. Brit lad, again, just done really well for himself, you know, but, you know, you really have to search for good music now. Yeah. You know, whereas before, I think 60s, 70s, and 80s, we just grew up with such an abundance of good music, we didn't even know what we had. You know, it's. It's only now when you go back and listen to it, you're like, wow, I can't believe somebody made that song or somebody made that album. It's just unbelievable. Yeah, it's quite prolific. When you think about the artists back then versus now, and that's. That's something that is. I've been in many a debate about the difference between a musician and an artist with people before, and I suppose it's all perspective, but nonetheless, I do think that there is a delineation between the two. Yeah. So let's talk about this one. What's a song that gets your positive juices flowing? Well, it depends. Again, that's a hard one. See, I love music. I love so much music. So it's so hard for me to pinpoint one thing. Why is getting my positive juices flowing recently? I don't know. I've got. I've got Ed Sheeran going on in the. In the car right now and Miles Smith. So anything. Ed Sheeran on Miles Smith, I like. Okay. Yeah. I can't pinpoint one specific song that's like, oh, my God, like, that's the best thing ever, you know? But I. I love their body of work, you know, and I like that singer songwriter format, actually more and more now. Yeah. I can tell you mine changes pretty regularly. You know, the. The. The positive juices flowing. The favorite song, it's in a constant rotation because I'll have a new favorite all the time. Yeah. That's just the way it is, you know. Yeah. Okay. So what I'm going to do is I'm going to ask you probably my favorite question and then we'll, we'll wrap it up. Sometimes there are songs that you hear that ring so true that they can stop you in your tracks. The song's lyrics sound like they were either written specifically for you or by you. What's that song? Well, if I had to reach, I'd have to reach John Lennon. Imagine, instant karma, like in that kind of pocket. I would have loved to have met him. Me too. I would have, that's one person that I would have loved to have met. Honestly, I, I don't understand where music like that comes from and where he sourced these things from. I, I, it's my, it's mind blowing to me. So when I hear, hear him and hear some of the stuff that he did, you know, I just really, it's just transcendent. It's, it's like, it's like going to Egypt and seeing the pyramids for the first time. It's like, you know, you know, the pyramids are, you know, they belong near Cairo, but they're just so out of place. They don't even belong on this planet. It's like, how did they end up here? You know, that's John Lennon for me. Well, you know what? And, and I'm not being funny here, so please don't think that. Yeah, but when you said, I don't know where it comes from, I don't know where it I thought of. That's what I was asking you. Yeah, I don't know where it comes from. Where does it come from? How does this, these perfect phrases that come to, together and connect to have so much meaning come from? The same applies to you in, in that regard. And I don't, I'm not trying to again, be funny, but that's along the same lines of the question that I was asking you that you just, you just said for John Lennon, I guess. Anyway, sorry. Because when you think about it, right, how did this lad from Liverpool who had the cultural experiences of the UK and England growing up in Liverpool, how did he. Where, like, where does that. It's so out of the context of himself that it has to originate from somewhere else, right? Some, some place greater than his own personal experiences. And they had their time in India. And that's all well and good, but, you know, this is really an expression of someone's soul or the soul. It's, it's, you know, it's funny because there's spirituality, and then there's eternal truth. Eternal truth is just transcendent truth. It comes from, like, a whole other place. And I guess if I had to answer the question, music, you know, the music that you and I appreciate and, you know, call to calm or whatever it is that really is impactful comes from that place of eternal truth. It's like a transcendent storehouse where we just. The words come, our lips move, you know, emotion arises, people feel peaceful, things happen, but at the same time, it's like it has nothing to do with us, you know? So it's like asking. It's like asking John Lennon's guitar, where did the notes come from? You know? Or, Yes, like, how are you? What is it? Where is this melody? What are these sounds like, what? Can't be me. What is this? Oh, my gosh. I love this. Oh, gosh. That was a mic drop moment. Yeah. That was so perfect. It's true, though. Like, there are just some things that you just can't explain, you know, it's like it's so far beyond us, you know? It's so far beyond us, you know? Yeah. One day you'll. Have. One day you'll have to interview John Lennon's Guitar Gym and let me know what it says. And today on Drop the Needle podcast, I'll be interviewing John Lennon's guitar. What's your favorite song? Where did that melody or that chord structure come from? Oh, gosh. Oh, my gosh. That was amazing. I love that. Thank you. Oh, my gosh. I needed that today. That was so good. So, so good. So we'll wrap it up right here. Okay. Well, it's just about time to cue the music for today's episode, but don't forget to, like, comment and subscribe to the Drop the Needle podcast to stay up to date on our latest episodes. And I'd also like to take a moment to thank everyone for tuning in today, and I hope you enjoyed this episode of the Drop the Needle podcast. I'd also like to thank our very special guest, Mr. Panache Desai. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you so much for being on the show today. I. I do appreciate you. Thank you so much, brother. It's a. It's a pleasure to have you come to call to calm, and, you know, call to calm. Still going. Everyone's welcome to show up every day, and it makes my heart happy that people do. So thank you. And I'm going to make sure that in the show notes, we have all of the ways to get in touch with you, including the website, because I do want people to tune into that because you never know where those little nuggets are going to come from that change your life like that. For me, that it's something I can depend on. You know, if I had a rough day the day before, the right things are going to be said to turn the day around and start it out. And it's probably no accident that you're doing it in the morning to start everybody's day out with such a positive jolt. And I love it. I love you for doing that and I thank you, thank you, thank you very much. I invite everyone to head on over to the Show Notes where, like I said, we're gonna have all the links to Panache's socials, his website, his books. We're going to make sure that everything is on there so everyone can take full attention, advantage of that and get in touch with him and have all access to everything that he has to offer. All right, my drop the needle posse. Like Billy Joel says, from the highs to the lows to the end of our show, this is the end of our show. Until next time, this is Jim Allstott wishing you infinite health, happiness, and the perfect playlist for your life. Thank you again for being the best part of us. Catch you next time. Time.