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Taking Husband's Last Name · Let's Ask the Mamas!

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: We got a question for American mamas. Do your mama's
• 0:02
  Speaker 1: do you still think that when you marry, the woman
• 0:05
  Speaker 1: should take the man's last name.
• 0:07
  Speaker 2: Oh, you know what, let's ask our Americ and mama's
• 0:11
  Speaker 2: mama Mama.
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: And joining us now our American mama's Urnetteville and Kimberly Burlason,
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  Speaker 1: otherwise known as the Spinks Sisters, who have both apparently
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: taken their husband's last names. I'm assuming that's what happened.
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: I'm assuming y'all didn't just create new ones that you
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: both took. So I kind of feel like I know
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  Speaker 1: the answer this one. But what do you think should
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: women still take their men's men's lasts?
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  Speaker 3: Well, we kept our last name as a middle name.
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  Speaker 1: Okay, I mean just.
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  Speaker 3: You saying that right now. The Spink Sisters from my heart,
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  Speaker 3: Oh made you hearty made my heart happy exactly because
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  Speaker 3: I miss that. I miss having that last name. But
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  Speaker 3: what I've been seeing is, especially in other countries, people
• 0:56
  Speaker 3: are playing games. So at the wedding, a couple rock
• 1:00
  Speaker 3: paper scissors to see which name to take in the
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  Speaker 3: middle of the whole conger. In another wedding, they had
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  Speaker 3: the families go against each other in like the Tug
• 1:10
  Speaker 3: of War, different games to figure out which and I
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  Speaker 3: was like, what, this is crazy.
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  Speaker 4: But I do feel.
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  Speaker 3: Bad for people that have sucky last names when you
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  Speaker 3: have to take somebody's last name and it is not
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  Speaker 3: a nice last name.
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: Huh.
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  Speaker 3: I don't know.
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  Speaker 4: I've never thought about it because it just always was
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  Speaker 4: what it was like, I was always going to take
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  Speaker 4: and I was excited, even though Naderville sounds like a
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  Speaker 4: town in South Louisiana.
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  Speaker 3: It I was.
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  Speaker 4: Excited to take the name. I remember. I don't know
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  Speaker 4: if you do. You remember skipping Betty from uh, Yeah,
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  Speaker 4: they were those couple. It was when we started that
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  Speaker 4: church in Arlington. We first and that was the first
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  Speaker 4: time that I knew of an adult couple where the
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  Speaker 4: wife did they were married with the wife did not
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  Speaker 4: have her husband's last name in It confused me.
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  Speaker 3: I actually thought they didn't have a close relationship because
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  Speaker 3: we were like sixteen fifteen, and I remember thinking they
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  Speaker 3: don't have a really good marriage.
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  Speaker 4: Because she didn't she want to take his name. Yeah,
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  Speaker 4: you remember them, yes? And I remember like a few
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  Speaker 4: years later then another couple came was the Boroughs says
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  Speaker 4: were maybe no somebody had where it was hyphened, and
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  Speaker 4: I thought, okay, okay, so this is you know you
• 2:23
  Speaker 4: can do this. I didn't even know that was the
• 2:24
  Speaker 4: thing you could do, but it made me. This is
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  Speaker 4: terrible because it sounds judgmental, but I thought since they
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  Speaker 4: didn't want to take their husband's name, that they didn't
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  Speaker 4: have the kind of loving relationship that my parents had
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  Speaker 4: or that I will have when I marry someone, because
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  Speaker 4: I'm gonna want I remember our cousin saying someone says
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  Speaker 4: something about her taking Collins when she got married to Alex,
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  Speaker 4: her husband, and she said, I cannot wait to be
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  Speaker 4: Robin Collins. I cannot wait. That's and it's one of
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  Speaker 4: those things. And so when people turn it around and say,
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  Speaker 4: how would she feel if your husband took your name,
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  Speaker 4: and I'm like, Kimerly, I'm so proud of the Spink's name,
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  Speaker 4: our heritage, every people in our lineage. But I wouldn't
• 3:02
  Speaker 4: want him to take my name, my last name. It
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  Speaker 4: would just not feel right for me.
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  Speaker 3: It feels infeminine. It's like, that's just the first thing
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  Speaker 3: that it feels. Lindsay, our youngest sister, she had a
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  Speaker 3: best friend, she got married and the man took her
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  Speaker 3: last name. They later divorced, and then he turns up
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  Speaker 3: gay and it's so in my mind, like, okay, so
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  Speaker 3: you know, because it justeotype. It like went right into
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  Speaker 3: what I was thinking, assculated it does.
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  Speaker 4: Feel that way. But I get.
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  Speaker 3: We have a friend whose last name was Seamen and
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  Speaker 3: they changed they had their children, got married, they had
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  Speaker 3: their children. Well they changed it to Simmons because of
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  Speaker 3: just that made sense. It made sense.
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  Speaker 1: I get that.
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  Speaker 4: That makes it.
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  Speaker 3: And I told you my best friend, my best friend's
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  Speaker 3: last name is Gag and her son is getting married
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  Speaker 3: and she said that The future daughter in law said,
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  Speaker 3: I can't wait to be a Gag. And my friend
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  Speaker 3: Kathleen said, it made me feel so good because it's
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  Speaker 3: a hard one take. Yeah, you know, it's a hard
• 4:01
  Speaker 3: last name. So it made her feel more loving towards
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  Speaker 3: the daughter in law that she was willing to take
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  Speaker 3: that name.
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  Speaker 1: To me, I wonder about identity, because I mean, obviously
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  Speaker 1: there's your name is your identity. So if you aren't
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  Speaker 1: willing to become part of a pair, a couple, a
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  Speaker 1: family in name, are you fully in in terms of
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  Speaker 1: your identity? And one of the things that I've noticed too,
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  Speaker 1: is especially in well connected political couples on the left especially,
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  Speaker 1: it is almost rare to find women that are taking
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  Speaker 1: their husband's last names these days, and frankly, that makes
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  Speaker 1: it a lot harder to figure.
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  Speaker 4: Out he belongs to him.
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  Speaker 1: The nepotism that goes on in Washington and empower couples
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  Speaker 1: across the country that.
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  Speaker 4: I understand when people want to keep their professional name,
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  Speaker 4: Like professionally, Megan Kelly is Megan Kelly, but in her
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  Speaker 4: personal life she's Megan bront. Kelly Rippa is Kelly Ripe
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  Speaker 4: on TV, but she's Kelly, Yeah, Consuelos or whatever. And
• 5:02
  Speaker 4: we have newscasters that, you know, I think Sonya Baales
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  Speaker 4: did the same thing. I totally understand that because they
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  Speaker 4: have that's kind of the nil thing, you know, that
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  Speaker 4: that's who.
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  Speaker 1: They people know, that's what they base their career.
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  Speaker 4: That's right. But as a family, like when when little
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  Speaker 4: Johnny comes to school and here's you know, Kelly Rippa
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  Speaker 4: and Consuelos the other kids, like what are they married
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  Speaker 4: or they divorced? I think it's just it's like a
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  Speaker 4: unifying thing for the family to all have that same
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  Speaker 4: last name. But you know what, that's just our opinion.
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  Speaker 4: So it is.
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  Speaker 3: I mean, to each their own, you know, do whatever
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  Speaker 3: you want.
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  Speaker 1: As long as as long as you've understood what a
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  Speaker 1: marriage is. Yeah, and that you're united and you are
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  Speaker 1: now one flesh.
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  Speaker 4: Yeah.
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  Speaker 1: I think that's the most important part of that. I agree.
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  Speaker 1: If you like Desker American Mama's a Question, go to
• 5:47
  Speaker 1: our website American reader dot com slash mamas and click
• 5:49
  Speaker 1: on the ask the Mama's button turning out of Kimberly
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  Speaker 1: Brothers and thank you so much, thank you,