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667. The Truth About Living in Your Comfort Zone · Be It Till You See It

0:00
[SPEAKER_01]: I'll tell you that the conversations that I've had with digital nomads is that being nomad is incredibly lonely and isolating.
0:09
[SPEAKER_01]: Because what you're doing is a lot of times because it's such a transient community is you're building these superficial relationships and people come and go out of your life.
0:19
[SPEAKER_01]: And I can tell you just from my own personal experience that a lot of that has exacerbated this feeling of isolation and loneliness
0:31
[SPEAKER_03]: Welcome to the Beat till you see it podcast, where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring.
0:38
[SPEAKER_03]: I'm also Logan, Ply's instructor and fitness business coach.
0:42
[SPEAKER_03]: I've trained thousands of people around the world, and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt.
0:50
[SPEAKER_03]: My friends, action brings clarity, and it's the antidote to fear.
0:56
[SPEAKER_03]: Each week my guests will bring bold, executable, intrinsic, and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and be it till you see it.
1:06
[SPEAKER_03]: It's a practice, not a perfect, let's get started.
1:13
[SPEAKER_03]: All right, be it babe.
1:14
[SPEAKER_03]: I'm really stoked for today's episode.
1:17
[SPEAKER_03]: We have the most fun talking to Billy Lara as our guest.
1:20
[SPEAKER_03]: And it was really funny.
1:21
[SPEAKER_03]: We didn't talk about what he does until halfway through the podcast.
1:23
[SPEAKER_03]: And I don't want to ruin anyone's fault for you.
1:25
[SPEAKER_03]: But we actually talk about comfort zones.
1:27
[SPEAKER_03]: And
1:28
[SPEAKER_03]: Should you stay in them?
1:30
[SPEAKER_03]: Should you get out of them?
1:31
[SPEAKER_03]: And a whole lot more Insights and I just think it's really fun.
1:35
[SPEAKER_03]: We can't go out by curiosity.
1:37
[SPEAKER_03]: And so I think you're just going to enjoy all of this.
1:39
[SPEAKER_03]: Oh, and the beat Actions at the end.
1:41
[SPEAKER_03]: Fucking fabulous.
1:42
[SPEAKER_03]: You'll love them.
1:42
[SPEAKER_03]: So here you go.
1:43
[SPEAKER_03]: Hell's Billy Lar.
1:44
[SPEAKER_03]: All right, be it babe, I'm super excited.
1:46
[SPEAKER_03]: We have a total like true digital nomad as our guest today.
1:50
[SPEAKER_03]: Billy Larr is here, and I kind of am obsessed because before I bought a house and like settled in and like loved being at home, my husband I used to be nomads.
1:59
[SPEAKER_03]: I don't know, like we'll just be nomadic people.
2:01
[SPEAKER_03]: So we just dabble in it, but you do it full time.
2:04
[SPEAKER_03]: Can you tell us what you rock at and why you, why your digital nomad?
2:09
[UNKNOWN]: Hmm.
2:10
[SPEAKER_01]: I rock at curiosity.
2:13
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I would say that's my superpower.
2:15
[SPEAKER_01]: I like to ask questions.
2:17
[SPEAKER_01]: I never, ever, whenever I meet people, I never ask the question, what do you do?
2:21
[SPEAKER_01]: That's the most boring question in the world.
2:23
[SPEAKER_01]: And there's a couple of reasons why I don't ask that.
2:26
[SPEAKER_01]: I actually got that tip from past guests on my podcast, name Jesse Ross.
2:31
[SPEAKER_01]: And the way I look at it is,
2:34
[SPEAKER_01]: What you do, one is usually the least interesting thing about you.
2:41
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, I taught English for 21 years.
2:44
[SPEAKER_01]: Everyone had one of me.
2:46
[SPEAKER_01]: Everyone knows what I did.
2:48
[SPEAKER_01]: So that's, it's not fun for me to talk about that.
2:53
[SPEAKER_01]: Secondly, people generally don't like to talk about work outside of work unless they're super involved and they love what they do.
3:03
[SPEAKER_01]: Most people do what they do because it pays the bills and there's nothing wrong with that.
3:09
[SPEAKER_01]: There's absolutely nothing wrong with that and we'll come back to that a little bit later.
3:13
[SPEAKER_01]: But the third reason is I think people over identify with their roles and their jobs.
3:21
[SPEAKER_01]: And I see that a lot.
3:23
[SPEAKER_01]: There is a pressure to have a certain status.
3:28
[SPEAKER_01]: And I feel like whenever you talk to people about what do you do, you can feel them recoil because they don't want to talk about it.
3:37
[SPEAKER_01]: So the first question I always ask all of my guests is, what are 10 roles that you play in your life?
3:42
[SPEAKER_01]: So me, that's a more interesting question.
3:45
[SPEAKER_01]: Now, the first four or five answers are always something familial.
3:49
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, for me, I'm a brother, I'm a son, I'm an uncle.
3:53
[SPEAKER_01]: Those things come like that.
3:55
[SPEAKER_01]: Then when you get into those later examples, you have to dig deep
4:01
[SPEAKER_01]: into what roles you actually play.
4:03
[SPEAKER_01]: So for me, digital nomad, Pearl Jam fanatic.
4:06
[SPEAKER_01]: I've seen Pearl Jam 54 times in nine states.
4:09
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm an avid paddle boarder.
4:11
[SPEAKER_01]: I've paddle boarded off five continent coasts.
4:14
[SPEAKER_01]: So those are the kind of things that are interesting and lead to better conversation and because of my curiosity, I'm able to kind of wiggle my way through
4:26
[SPEAKER_01]: the mundane to get to those types of conversations.
4:31
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, I mean, I think like, first of all, you're not wrong there.
4:35
[SPEAKER_03]: I go to a lot of parties, and of course, like people are asking what do you do?
4:40
[SPEAKER_03]: And for me, most of the time when people do ask me that, I'm on a plane going somewhere, and I'm like, well, it's going to be really weird when I tell you what I actually do, because you're going to be like, then why are you going to where you're going?
4:56
[SPEAKER_03]: not many people want to talk about their job, like you said, or it's like, it is the least interesting thing about them, or it's it is in the pace of bills, and so that there are other things, but they're never asked that questions.
5:06
[SPEAKER_03]: They don't even know how to describe themselves or talk about themselves.
5:10
[SPEAKER_03]: And the fact that you're curious, must mean that you meet cooler versions of people.
5:14
[SPEAKER_03]: You like we can meet the same people, but because you can be more curious to me, you're going to meet a version of them that like, I might have like missed because I asked the wrong question
5:27
[SPEAKER_01]: In my general rule, when I talk to people, and this is gonna sound a bit arrogant, but whatever, my general rule is, you need to be at least as interesting as I am, because I've lived a pretty interesting life.
5:38
[SPEAKER_01]: And if you have nothing to contribute, then like what value do you have for me in the conversation?
5:47
[SPEAKER_01]: So I'm gonna dig around, I'm gonna ask questions that maybe the normal person isn't going to ask of,
5:54
[SPEAKER_01]: I had this situation pop up the other week, and there were two women who were like, I can't believe you just asked that.
6:01
[SPEAKER_01]: And I'm like, listen, if you don't ask, then you don't get the answers.
6:05
[SPEAKER_01]: So my dad always told me, ask, the worst anyone could ever say is no.
6:09
[SPEAKER_01]: So I ask, and those lead to better conversations.
6:15
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, yeah, I think I, I mean, it is true.
6:18
[SPEAKER_03]: Like I was hot that as well.
6:19
[SPEAKER_03]: It's like if you don't ask you got to know and so you may as well ask because if you get to know, then you know and you can go find another way, but you could get it.
6:28
[SPEAKER_03]: Yes, and then it's like, oh my god, like you could get that.
6:31
[SPEAKER_03]: So I, I can really like green.
6:33
[SPEAKER_03]: I also think like,
6:35
[SPEAKER_03]: You know, a lot of people are feeling lonely these days.
6:38
[SPEAKER_03]: I have to imagine like traveling the world.
6:40
[SPEAKER_03]: If you're curious, you're never lonely because you're always finding ways to talk to people and like get to know them.
6:45
[SPEAKER_03]: But people are lonely and they don't travel and they're surrounded by people.
6:48
[SPEAKER_03]: But I think it's because they're they're not getting to a deeper version of a person that they're talking to.
6:52
[SPEAKER_03]: So everything is surface all of the time.
6:55
[SPEAKER_01]: I'll tell you that the conversations that I've had with digital nomads is that being nomad is incredibly lonely and isolating.
7:03
[SPEAKER_01]: Because what you're doing is a lot of times because it's such a transient community is you're building these superficial relationships and people come and go out of your life.
7:14
[SPEAKER_01]: And I can tell you just from my own personal experience that a lot of that has exacerbated this feeling of isolation and loneliness and
7:23
[SPEAKER_01]: a deeper connection.
7:25
[SPEAKER_01]: It's very hard to maintain romantic relationships when you're on the move like this.
7:30
[SPEAKER_01]: So there is a part of me that does desire to just be in one spot.
7:38
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm someone who craves stability.
7:40
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm someone who craves structure.
7:41
[SPEAKER_01]: I crave routine.
7:43
[SPEAKER_01]: That's where I thrive.
7:44
[SPEAKER_01]: I used to work in education.
7:46
[SPEAKER_01]: Bells told me when to start and stop my day.
7:49
[SPEAKER_01]: So,
7:50
[SPEAKER_01]: this is a huge leap.
7:53
[SPEAKER_01]: And I'm not a fan of this idea of get out of your comfort zone.
7:57
[SPEAKER_01]: Shut up, I've been working really hard to get into my comfort zone.
8:01
[SPEAKER_01]: Let me sit in my comfort zone.
8:05
[SPEAKER_01]: But where I tell people to be cautious of is when we start again to the complacency zone.
8:10
[SPEAKER_01]: So when things start to feel complacent, that's when we need to stretch our comfort zone like it's pizza dough.
8:17
[SPEAKER_01]: And you don't pull pizza dough from the outside.
8:19
[SPEAKER_01]: Only heathens do that.
8:20
[SPEAKER_01]: You push pizza dough from the inside, and where you see it's then, you put some flour, you put a little bit more dough, and you massage that in there, and you stretch out that pizza dough.
8:32
[SPEAKER_01]: If someone tells you to get out of their comfort zone, I don't know if we can swear on here.
8:37
[SPEAKER_01]: You can just tell them, you know, shut the fuck up.
8:40
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm good in my comfort zone, but you need to take a look at MMI comfort zone or MMI in my complacency zone.
8:49
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
8:49
[SPEAKER_01]: Right now, I'm definitely stretching my pizza deal because I was working a full-time job now.
8:57
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm back to freelance and things are a bit more
9:00
[SPEAKER_01]: you know unstable so you know I'm I'm I'm I'm trying to build some things I'm trying to rebrand some things and it all takes a lot of hard work and there's a lot of uncertainty in there and listen uncertainty as a very anxious person is a very high intensity person
9:21
[SPEAKER_01]: Uncertainty does not sit well with me.
9:24
[SPEAKER_01]: So I'm very much navigating through all of this.
9:29
[SPEAKER_03]: This is so interesting.
9:30
[SPEAKER_03]: You are an enigma.
9:35
[SPEAKER_03]: First of all, I actually...
9:37
[SPEAKER_03]: agree.
9:38
[SPEAKER_03]: I think there's something about getting out of your comfort zone all the time that the the overachievers listening to that's the causing burnout and it's causing extra stress.
9:48
[SPEAKER_03]: It's like my my I if you're a high cheever you're rocking it that just means you like big things and you're doing those things the overachievers.
9:55
[SPEAKER_03]: That's when you're like I got to sign a comfort zone.
9:57
[SPEAKER_03]: It's like, but you have it like you just said I want to try to get in my comfort zone.
9:59
[SPEAKER_03]: It's like.
10:00
[SPEAKER_03]: That's interesting.
10:01
[SPEAKER_03]: How often have I just like sat still and like enjoyed the comfort that I created, you know, like, but do you mind can we dive into the complacency zone like when you say that like the science and sometimes you're in a complacency zone the what came to mind is like you complain about the comfort zone you're going to come like you kind of complain about your the things in your life or the things around you're like like that might be to me a sign or sometimes you're in complacency like you're good at what you do when you're still complaining about is that one like what are some signs that you're in complacency.
10:29
[SPEAKER_01]: That's a great question.
10:30
[SPEAKER_01]: So here's a perfect example.
10:32
[SPEAKER_01]: When I have new clients, so I was teaching business English here in Korea.
10:39
[SPEAKER_01]: So I wasn't teaching at a hog lawn with elementary school kids.
10:43
[SPEAKER_01]: I've done it with public education and that regard.
10:47
[SPEAKER_01]: I want to work with adults.
10:48
[SPEAKER_01]: So I was working at Hyundai and Kia and teaching their employees business English.
10:53
[SPEAKER_01]: So what I first meet them, I want to know, hey, what are your hobbies?
10:57
[SPEAKER_01]: And a lot of them will say, especially if they're parents, especially if they're new parents, my hobby is my child, ding ding ding, complacency zone.
11:08
[SPEAKER_01]: So listen, let me let me preface this by saying, I'm not a parent.
11:13
[SPEAKER_01]: So I don't know what it's like to have a child.
11:17
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't know what it's like to sacrifice those things.
11:19
[SPEAKER_01]: What I do know.
11:21
[SPEAKER_01]: is that my parents still did things despite having three kids.
11:27
[SPEAKER_01]: My dad sang in an all men's choir, both my mom and my dad played softball throughout the week.
11:34
[SPEAKER_01]: They did things that
11:36
[SPEAKER_01]: still interested them so that they could socialize with people.
11:41
[SPEAKER_01]: So I think especially here, there is this emphasis on making sure that your child grows up and has a more successful future than what you have and what I notice is that there is a lot of snowplow parents will call them.
12:00
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, yeah, so I feel like when that happens, you lose your sense of identity.
12:06
[SPEAKER_01]: Again, we come back to this idea of identity.
12:08
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
12:09
[SPEAKER_01]: So where can you find identity and it's through curiosity?
12:17
[SPEAKER_01]: And remember, you're not just one identity.
12:20
[SPEAKER_01]: You're playing many roles.
12:21
[SPEAKER_01]: So if you take a look at those 10 roles, and if you can't come up with 10 roles, that's another perfect example of,
12:29
[SPEAKER_01]: Maybe you're in this complacency zone.
12:31
[SPEAKER_01]: When was the last time you participated in one of those roles?
12:36
[SPEAKER_01]: Are all of these roles about someone else?
12:40
[SPEAKER_01]: Because if they are, you're losing that sense of identity.
12:43
[SPEAKER_01]: So how do you go out and explore those?
12:47
[SPEAKER_01]: easier said than done, but that comes from self awareness.
12:52
[SPEAKER_01]: It comes from sitting with your thoughts, your feelings and your emotions, sitting with what you want, and coming to a realization at, okay, I feel like, you know, we talk about being selfish and we talk about being selfless.
13:10
[SPEAKER_01]: There isn't necessarily anything wrong with being selfish.
13:13
[SPEAKER_01]: If you've been overly selfless.
13:17
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
13:17
[SPEAKER_01]: So in the middle, you know, we talk about self-centered.
13:20
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, what about centered self?
13:21
[SPEAKER_01]: That's ultimately where we want to be.
13:23
[SPEAKER_01]: And when we want to be a centered self, it means that we need to be able to provide for others while also providing for ourselves.
13:32
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, I agree, like we've found on this podcast of for how I think selfish has to do a rebrand because like very rarely have I experienced the people that I have talked to the stories that I've heard or the listeners that we have actually being selfish assholes.
13:47
[SPEAKER_03]: Like most of the time, when they think they're being selfish, they're just prioritizing in theirself.
13:52
[SPEAKER_01]: I want to direct everybody to Valerie Jones.
13:55
[SPEAKER_01]: Valerie Jones has as a podcast called The Selfish Woman.
13:59
[SPEAKER_01]: She was a guest on the Mindful Midlife Crisis.
14:02
[SPEAKER_01]: I think it's episode 57.
14:03
[SPEAKER_01]: Valerie is great and she's done this excellent job of rebranding this idea of what it means to be selfish.
14:11
[SPEAKER_01]: So I was so busy.
14:12
[SPEAKER_01]: I checked that out.
14:12
[SPEAKER_03]: Okay.
14:13
[SPEAKER_03]: I might want an intro to her because like you have to.
14:15
[SPEAKER_01]: She's great.
14:16
[SPEAKER_03]: Done.
14:16
[SPEAKER_03]: We're doing it after this.
14:17
[SPEAKER_03]: Okay.
14:18
[SPEAKER_03]: Because like I think like the
14:21
[SPEAKER_03]: I do, I do love that you challenge people who are parents as a role, that if they don't have something outside of their kids, it doesn't actually help your kid out.
14:31
[SPEAKER_03]: Like we have seen these kids get older.
14:33
[SPEAKER_03]: We've now have the Gen Z kids and these kids and they haven't experienced.
14:38
[SPEAKER_03]: disappointment.
14:39
[SPEAKER_03]: They haven't experienced a loss.
14:40
[SPEAKER_03]: They have it at at a young age because just no cloud all that forum.
14:44
[SPEAKER_03]: And so now they're 20 something years old and they're learning for the first time what it's like to fail at something.
14:49
[SPEAKER_03]: That is a hard thing to do.
14:51
[SPEAKER_03]: That's hard.
14:52
[SPEAKER_03]: You had to learn it when you're younger.
14:53
[SPEAKER_03]: So I'm with you.
14:55
[SPEAKER_01]: And here's the I know people are like dude, you don't have kids mind your business.
15:00
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay.
15:00
[SPEAKER_01]: Let me give you another example.
15:01
[SPEAKER_01]: My former co-host Brian on the base.
15:04
[SPEAKER_01]: We call him Brian on the base because he plays bass and every band in the Twin Cities in Minnesota.
15:08
[SPEAKER_01]: He decided to eat like I said, he's been playing bass and all of these bands he records here and there.
15:15
[SPEAKER_01]: He he branded this new band called a gen X jubox.
15:21
[SPEAKER_01]: This is a guy who has three boys, boys, just or shark natives spinning around his house.
15:28
[SPEAKER_01]: They had a wipsy.
15:29
[SPEAKER_01]: They had a bonus baby.
15:31
[SPEAKER_01]: Sorry.
15:31
[SPEAKER_01]: They had a bonus baby when they were in their forties.
15:35
[SPEAKER_01]: But he's still doing all of these things.
15:38
[SPEAKER_01]: They bought a bus and they turned it into a
15:46
[SPEAKER_01]: Listen, if you're listening to me and you're like, you childless, you childless piece of shit, you don't know what you're talking about.
15:52
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay, fine, fine, fine.
15:54
[SPEAKER_01]: Who are the other examples out there?
15:57
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, who are fulfilling these these roles and and take a look at your own and just say, okay, what are things that I used to do that I don't do anymore or what am I curious about
16:14
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, I think that's so true.
16:16
[SPEAKER_03]: And I, for people who wouldn't listen to my body as for a long time, like the first three years of the podcast, I was like, I'm on a hobby hunt.
16:22
[SPEAKER_03]: And then people like you don't have hobby, like you have so many hobbies.
16:24
[SPEAKER_03]: I'm like, no, I have a lot of hobbies that turned into hate.
16:28
[SPEAKER_03]: Like, I got paid to do them.
16:29
[SPEAKER_03]: And the moment I'm getting paid to do them, I don't feel like I'm as a hobby anymore.
16:33
[SPEAKER_03]: It's now a job.
16:34
[SPEAKER_03]: And I love what I do.
16:35
[SPEAKER_03]: I have no complaints.
16:36
[SPEAKER_03]: I love all of the aspects of my job because I get to decide if I don't want to do them anymore.
16:40
[SPEAKER_03]: But I want to find a hobby and I recently found one the last year and people are like, oh, because I'm like, way up in terror right now.
16:47
[SPEAKER_03]: So however people feel about that, I don't care.
16:49
[SPEAKER_03]: I love it.
16:49
[SPEAKER_03]: I'm having the best time.
16:51
[SPEAKER_03]: And people are like, oh, are you gonna do a reading for me?
16:53
[SPEAKER_03]: And I was like, no, it's my fucking hobby.
16:56
[SPEAKER_03]: You could get your own rating, go pay someone.
16:58
[SPEAKER_03]: Like, so I find that it's really easy for people to start doing something and then people go, oh, then you could do it for me.
17:05
[SPEAKER_03]: And it's like, I do find things that you could be curious about.
17:09
[SPEAKER_03]: And I don't care if people want you to do it for them.
17:12
[SPEAKER_03]: You don't have to.
17:13
[SPEAKER_03]: Full permission from the pod for me.
17:15
[SPEAKER_03]: You could just like be curious about them and let them be with our or you can also change your mind.
17:21
[SPEAKER_03]: I do think that's another thing people have to realize like you could be go, oh, I used to love to snowboard and then you can go and go, oh, I hate it now.
17:28
[SPEAKER_03]: That's fine.
17:29
[SPEAKER_03]: You can just don't worry about the sun cost.
17:31
[SPEAKER_03]: Billy, you've mentioned you're out a couple of times and I know that like your dad had said something to you when you were a teacher like, do mine can we dive into that and like how that has shaped where you are today.
17:41
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
17:41
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
17:42
[SPEAKER_01]: So my dad is a character.
17:44
[SPEAKER_01]: He's like Rodney Dangerfield and every movie.
17:48
[SPEAKER_01]: He's got the sexual and you endos, but you know, everybody knows who he is.
17:54
[SPEAKER_01]: Everybody calls him Uncle D. So, you know, that this is just kind of guy that my dad is.
17:59
[SPEAKER_01]: But I remember him.
18:01
[SPEAKER_01]: My dad, he's a farmer.
18:03
[SPEAKER_01]: He's a tinker.
18:04
[SPEAKER_01]: He is a natural salesman.
18:11
[SPEAKER_01]: And I think there's a small part of him, a heel never admit this.
18:14
[SPEAKER_01]: That's maybe a little disappointed that I didn't get into, you know, being the farm kid or being the hunter or that sort of stuff.
18:23
[SPEAKER_01]: And he said, I got into, I played sports and I really got into books.
18:27
[SPEAKER_01]: And I got into writing.
18:29
[SPEAKER_01]: So I became an English teacher and I remember one time you said to me, I hope you're a good English teacher because you will starve if you have to do anything else.
18:40
[SPEAKER_01]: And he said it with love.
18:43
[SPEAKER_01]: He said it with love.
18:44
[SPEAKER_01]: He said it jokingly.
18:45
[SPEAKER_01]: But this is that's kind of what I've been figuring out here the last four years because I left education in 2021 and I've been trying to figure out, okay, what is it that I'm good at that I can monetize is because
19:00
[SPEAKER_01]: There are, and my, my monetize has been get paid for.
19:02
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
19:03
[SPEAKER_01]: Right.
19:03
[SPEAKER_03]: Well, because the world, we requires us to pay bills.
19:06
[SPEAKER_03]: And so we have to figure out what a monetize something that we're willing to do for many hours of a week.
19:12
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
19:12
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
19:13
[SPEAKER_01]: And I think that's, you know, I've been, I've been figuring that out the last four years.
19:19
[SPEAKER_01]: And I feel very, very lucky, very privileged that.
19:23
[SPEAKER_01]: one thing that he taught me was how to save and how to invest.
19:27
[SPEAKER_01]: So I've been able to travel around here the last four years with the money that I've saved with the money that I've invested.
19:36
[SPEAKER_01]: I took this last year to work in Korea full-time because, like I said, I needed that stability.
19:43
[SPEAKER_01]: I needed that structure.
19:44
[SPEAKER_01]: I needed that routine.
19:46
[SPEAKER_01]: So, in all of that, I've been experimenting.
19:49
[SPEAKER_01]: My wonderful friend Jill Taylor talks about using the world as her laboratory and just seeing what works.
19:58
[SPEAKER_01]: And listen, a lot of things have failed that I've done the last few years.
20:03
[SPEAKER_01]: And I think a big part of that is because I don't know how to market myself and I don't want to play the algorithm game because I grew up in the 90s and the biggest sin in the 90s was selling out.
20:18
[SPEAKER_03]: Oh, yeah.
20:19
[SPEAKER_03]: Okay.
20:20
[SPEAKER_03]: So what you're a little older than me, I think, but I do recall, you know, hearing it.
20:24
[SPEAKER_01]: I told you, Pearl James, my favorite band, all those Seattle grunge bands, what did they teach us?
20:29
[SPEAKER_01]: They taught us, don't sell out selling out as the greatest sin of it all.
20:33
[SPEAKER_01]: And this idea of marketing and playing the algorithm game and using click baiti titles, it's so bombadest to me.
20:43
[SPEAKER_01]: And it feels disingenuous to who I am as a creative spirit.
20:48
[SPEAKER_01]: But then there are a lot of starving artists out there.
20:52
[SPEAKER_01]: So as I'm going through this rebrand, I'm thinking to myself, listen, maybe you need to play the game because the last time I stopped Pearl GM, you wanna know who was sponsoring the show, Amazon Music.
21:04
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay, so if Pearl GM can come around to,
21:09
[SPEAKER_01]: you know, corporate.
21:10
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
21:11
[SPEAKER_01]: Corporate suggestion, corporate support, then the maybe I can play the game too because, you know, who am I to Pearl Jam.
21:20
[SPEAKER_03]: But also, and here's the thing, like I completely agree with that on a I own on my own way and that like,
21:26
[SPEAKER_03]: The way that I could have had more followers, more subscribers on YouTube much sooner, given the industry I am, is to just be a little bit skinnier and make sure that I only work out in a tiny sports brought and tiny shorts.
21:38
[SPEAKER_03]: And like everything is about abs and glutes, abs and glutes.
21:41
[SPEAKER_03]: And it's like, but that's not the way I teach.
21:43
[SPEAKER_03]: That's not the applies I teach.
21:45
[SPEAKER_03]: I actually am,
21:46
[SPEAKER_03]: Extremely like conscious that people just feel good and their body that they don't think that fitness actually is how you lose weight because it's not it's how you eat and hormones and all that stuff sleep butter and all these different things.
21:57
[SPEAKER_03]: However 10 years into my YouTube channel.
22:01
[SPEAKER_03]: I just have 40,000 subscribers on my friends have millions.
22:04
[SPEAKER_03]: So what I had to figure out is like, how can I.
22:09
[SPEAKER_03]: understand what the titles have to be.
22:12
[SPEAKER_03]: And then be fucking honest with people in the video.
22:16
[SPEAKER_03]: So can you lose weight with Pilates?
22:18
[SPEAKER_03]: It's not like, or like, Pilates and weight loss.
22:20
[SPEAKER_03]: Like, something that'd be so clickbait against me and say, okay.
22:23
[SPEAKER_03]: So let's talk about what real actual weight loss is.
22:26
[SPEAKER_03]: If you, how do you know you need it?
22:28
[SPEAKER_03]: And if Pilates can do it.
22:30
[SPEAKER_03]: And so I had to find a way to like, okay, how do I digest the clickbait?
22:35
[SPEAKER_03]: but then be honest and authentic because the other reality is it's like, no, you sit starving ours, but like the impact that you and I want to make on this world, no one hears about it if it doesn't get put in front of their face.
22:46
[SPEAKER_03]: And so, and so you either have time or you have money and the thing about the algorithms is you can have no dollars.
22:53
[SPEAKER_03]: but get your message out there.
22:55
[SPEAKER_03]: That's the same way you could do in the 90s.
22:56
[SPEAKER_03]: Pearl Jam would have to pay for adding ad space and radio space and all this stuff.
23:00
[SPEAKER_03]: So I do feel like there is some swallowing of some of it to go, okay, well, what can I live with?
23:07
[SPEAKER_03]: Like, what's my value process there?
23:09
[SPEAKER_03]: And it has helped me immensely because while I still don't have millions of subscribers, all the ones I do have, I got organically, and they actually like the message I have.
23:18
[SPEAKER_03]: You know, and even if they didn't subscribe, at least got the truth, and then they can go do it with what they want.
23:23
[SPEAKER_03]: You know, so that it's an interesting thing, but it is hard, because I fucking hate the game of the algorithms.
23:27
[SPEAKER_03]: I think it's annoying.
23:28
[SPEAKER_03]: It's frustrating, but also people are overwhelmed and exhausted and in complacency, and so how do we get them out?
23:36
[SPEAKER_03]: I don't know.
23:37
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
23:38
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, you know, it's funny.
23:40
[SPEAKER_01]: It just dynam me that I haven't talked about.
23:44
[SPEAKER_01]: Like what's service I provide and and and I think this is going to be funny this is going to be funny now if people have listened to me throughout this and they're like this kind of a spaz that's why I'm a certified mindfulness meditation teacher.
23:59
[SPEAKER_01]: So, all your message or message, all right, right, so what I tell people, because people will tell me like you're pretty intense for your meditation teacher.
24:08
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes, I practice mindfulness so that I can be this obnoxious because if I wasn't, I'd be a complete and total asshole.
24:18
[SPEAKER_01]: I practiced it so that I can stay here in this area because when I wasn't practicing, then I was very anxious and that was manifesting in the depression and that was manifesting some other darker thoughts.
24:33
[SPEAKER_01]: So this brand of mindfulness that I share, it isn't.
24:39
[SPEAKER_01]: It isn't granola, it is it's it's it's more just like, hey, here's what we need to do.
24:46
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm not going to tell you to follow your passions.
24:48
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm not going to tell you that everything happens for a reason because I don't believe in those things, but here's what I do think is practical and here's an easy first step.
24:58
[SPEAKER_01]: And that then in turn allows me to be genuine.
25:02
[SPEAKER_01]: And I like what you said there.
25:04
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, yeah, we can have a clickbaity title as long as the content within the video is genuine and it's authentic to who we are.
25:15
[SPEAKER_01]: When you listen to my meditations, I can be very can go into that meditation voice and I can be very soothing.
25:24
[SPEAKER_01]: And I know that's what that audience needs if they click on that meditation.
25:29
[SPEAKER_01]: But if they're listening to an interview, you're gonna get me at high energy because I love being behind a microphone.
25:36
[SPEAKER_01]: That's why I found ways to MC events here in Seoul, just by, you know, you talk about CIT to you, be it.
25:46
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, or be it to what's what is it like the way you said it, I think no, no, because I actually wrote about this in one of my newsletters because once your team and reached out to me, I was like, see it to you be it, is that make more sense, but then you were talk about be it to you see it.
26:03
[SPEAKER_01]: I was I was volunteering as my volunteering with my services as an MC or these live music events around here, not getting paid for it, but not expecting to.
26:15
[SPEAKER_01]: I was just doing it because it was fun and then over time the band that I was I'm seeing for the band called the Johnny birds.
26:24
[SPEAKER_01]: You can check them out on Spotify.
26:25
[SPEAKER_01]: Please do people.
26:26
[SPEAKER_01]: They were like, hey,
26:28
[SPEAKER_01]: Every time you MC, people donate more money.
26:33
[SPEAKER_01]: So we want to include you in on that.
26:37
[SPEAKER_01]: And I was like, oh, whoa, like I did not expect that, but it was so generous and thoughtful of them to be like, no, you're part of this band at part of the live show to some degree.
26:50
[SPEAKER_01]: So we want to make sure that we show our appreciation.
26:57
[SPEAKER_01]: being it, and then all of a sudden, you know, I saw the money.
27:02
[SPEAKER_03]: I, so first of all, I pretty sure you, you did write a news letter and you sent to my team and I got it.
27:07
[SPEAKER_03]: And I was like, this is so cool.
27:08
[SPEAKER_03]: I haven't even met the person yet.
27:11
[SPEAKER_03]: Look at my background.
27:12
[SPEAKER_03]: I, I really love that because,
27:15
[SPEAKER_03]: I love this way because I do think so many people are like waiting for it to be all figured out and figuring out how much do I charge for this and what's the process and it's like but that has never been how anything has happened for me.
27:26
[SPEAKER_03]: Everything has happened by acting like I have an idea of what the fuck I'm doing even if I don't.
27:31
[SPEAKER_03]: Doing the best I can and then like seeing what happens and all of a sudden it's like, oh, I'm four steps up the stairwell already like it just happened and then the other people see it and then see you do it and they're inspired by that and then they're like, oh, you must know what you're doing I'm going to hire you for this thing or whatever it is and so I think a lot of people are waiting until they have their business card ready and they practice them for the mirror so I love that story so much and I think it's really cool and
27:57
[SPEAKER_03]: Also, you have an innate thing, and we talked about this before, but like you are really a cheerleader for other people.
28:03
[SPEAKER_03]: You have a really good, and that kind of goes back to like you have a hard kind of time.
28:07
[SPEAKER_03]: It's not selling out, but like marketing yourself, as you said, because like you almost are like the backup babe for so many people.
28:14
[SPEAKER_03]: You're like ready to launch all their stuff.
28:17
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, yeah, give me the pump, man.
28:19
[SPEAKER_01]: I'll be the cheerleader.
28:20
[SPEAKER_01]: I'll be the cheerleader.
28:22
[SPEAKER_01]: If you're doing good things, I'll absolutely be the cheerleader for you.
28:26
[SPEAKER_01]: And that's I think that's where I went wrong with my own podcast because I started off by giving people a platform to share their experiences and expertise.
28:40
[SPEAKER_01]: And I was having these really fascinating conversations.
28:43
[SPEAKER_01]: And then I started working with a podcast business coach and plus it's hard.
28:47
[SPEAKER_01]: He's really great dude.
28:49
[SPEAKER_01]: But we didn't share the same vision.
28:51
[SPEAKER_01]: My vision was to give people a platform to share their experiences and expertise to my listeners so that and I just wanted to have those conversations with really fascinating people.
29:03
[SPEAKER_01]: And his idea was, well, hey, the only way that you're going to make
29:11
[SPEAKER_01]: completely, and I hate sales, I hate in my hate in my hate.
29:15
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't have my dad's sales the acumen.
29:19
[SPEAKER_01]: It's I just would rather talk to other people and celebrate other people.
29:25
[SPEAKER_01]: And you know, I feel like
29:29
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, then people are like, oh, you know, you're really good at the interview part.
29:34
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, thank you.
29:35
[SPEAKER_01]: Like that feeds my my need for words of affirmations.
29:38
[SPEAKER_01]: Like you're really good.
29:39
[SPEAKER_01]: I'll tell you that I had Ed Lathamor on my podcast and Ed does thousands of podcasts in his lifetime.
29:47
[SPEAKER_01]: He's an author.
29:48
[SPEAKER_01]: People check out Ed Lathamor.
29:50
[SPEAKER_01]: He's got a book now called.
29:52
[SPEAKER_01]: I can't remember, but he's got belly.
29:53
[SPEAKER_03]: I mean, he's got a body.
29:54
[SPEAKER_03]: Someone.
29:55
[SPEAKER_01]: He's got, he's got, and here's like I've never met Ed in person.
29:58
[SPEAKER_01]: I've only met him through Zoom, but he's a really fascinating dude.
30:01
[SPEAKER_01]: And when we got done, he said, you know what, you're really good at this.
30:07
[SPEAKER_01]: And it kind of caught me by surprise because Ed, Ed grew up in the mean streets of Philadelphia, and like he was a professional boxer, you know, literally doesn't pull punches.
30:18
[SPEAKER_01]: See, he tells it like, he sees it and that to me was one of the nicest compliments I've ever received and I said, that means a lot to me because I feel like you've done a lot of the nieces and you said, I have done a lot of these and you're really good at this.
30:34
[SPEAKER_01]: And that, to me, again, goes back to the be it to you see it, like, I was just, I'm just asking questions.
30:42
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm doing the research and and asking questions.
30:46
[SPEAKER_01]: I hate when people send me their media files and like, you can ask these questions.
30:51
[SPEAKER_01]: Guess what?
30:52
[SPEAKER_01]: That's a guarantee.
30:53
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm not going to ask any of those questions, because then you have canned responses.
30:57
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm going to go and listen to the podcast that you did on other shows and I'm going to write down all of the follow-up questions that I think that the host should have asked you.
31:07
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm going to go to your website and I'm going to ask you specific things about your website.
31:11
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm going to read your book and I'm going to ask you things that stand out to me in your book because that's where real conversation comes.
31:19
[SPEAKER_01]: It doesn't come from these caned questions and
31:23
[SPEAKER_01]: make the more that we understand other people, the more curious we are in the more, you know, harmonious of a society we can be.
31:35
[SPEAKER_03]: I think it goes back to like being your mindfulness coach, like you being curious with other people and them being able to like care that conversation requires
31:46
[SPEAKER_03]: Mindfulness because it requires them to be aware of any of the fucking things that they actually do in their life, you know, like it's like I think a lot of people go through the day and so it actually doesn't surprise me that that's what you coach on and also like why you're a curious person to me, they kind of go hand in hand.
32:02
[SPEAKER_03]: I also like, look, because we coach-polize instructors who are like, I just want to teach, you know, because I love what I do, and I'm like, the IRS doesn't care that you love what you do.
32:12
[SPEAKER_03]: If you have a business, they are going to audit you if you haven't paid taxes in a couple years.
32:16
[SPEAKER_03]: Like, they expect they're going to give you a couple years to fuck around, and then they are going to expect their money.
32:21
[SPEAKER_03]: So I love that, and also I have to make sure that you can pay your bills.
32:26
[SPEAKER_03]: So I appreciate your coach going, I want you to make your, but there are so many different ways
32:31
[SPEAKER_03]: And you know, you being until you see it in the beginning is a perfect way to like kick off your podcast and figure it out because I don't think there's one way to make money with podcasts.
32:40
[SPEAKER_03]: I think there's a billion ways and you'll find the one that works for you And you don't have to be an actual like quote unquote sales person to do it.
32:48
[SPEAKER_03]: So I see it happening and to probably already has because you're still doing why would you podcast if it wasn't working for you.
32:53
[SPEAKER_01]: Like I'll be honest, I hold I put a pause in the podcast back in March because it it was it was like in a a toxic relationship because like I couldn't quit it I was you know I would I would pause and then I would keep going back to it and I would pause and keep going back to it and I pause it and
33:13
[SPEAKER_01]: I haven't recorded it in a while and I don't have any intention of going back to recording it at this time if things were to change then that I would maybe maybe this rebranding, you know, blows up then it's like, oh, okay, now I can go back to doing this, but I don't miss it, but at the same time.
33:31
[SPEAKER_01]: I feel really good about what we created, like we recorded over 100 episodes.
33:38
[SPEAKER_01]: And most of those were episodes with guests.
33:43
[SPEAKER_01]: And I'm really proud to look at that guest list and be like, okay, we were 50, 50 with men and women.
33:49
[SPEAKER_01]: We, you know, we were when it was when it was me and Brian on the base, you know, it was two straight white guys, right?
33:57
[SPEAKER_01]: But we had a very diverse collection
34:01
[SPEAKER_01]: from the LGBT community, people of color, like, you know, we really sought out, it was my show, I sought out people and different voices.
34:13
[SPEAKER_01]: And I think that that's really important because we need to get out of that of that silo of of what we see in here.
34:23
[SPEAKER_01]: And I think that's another sign too of complacency if we go back to that, that if you're looking at and you're getting the same messages, whether it's MSNBC, whether it's Fox news or not even a news channel, it's just the same messages over and over and over again, who's challenging that and and then in what way are you being curious.
34:46
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
34:47
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
34:48
[SPEAKER_03]: I think that's really true.
34:50
[SPEAKER_03]: I think a lot of people, they, well, it's hard when your thoughts are challenged.
34:55
[SPEAKER_03]: It's much easier to just go, oh no, everyone around me thinks this way.
34:58
[SPEAKER_03]: And it's definitely challenging.
35:01
[SPEAKER_03]: I have family members that we have conversations and I can tell what they're listening to and I'm like, what are you like, what?
35:07
[SPEAKER_03]: Okay, let's
35:08
[SPEAKER_03]: For example, it was just Halloween here where we're recording this and I had someone tell me oh this is there this tool where you can easily see if there's drugs and in the kids candy and I said I'm so sorry.
35:18
[SPEAKER_03]: I just have to ask who the fuck is putting drugs in the candy.
35:22
[SPEAKER_03]: Who's doing this people know and does how would that kid get hooked on that drug and know which house it came from.
35:29
[SPEAKER_03]: It isn't a bag.
35:31
[SPEAKER_03]: Drugs are very expensive.
35:33
[SPEAKER_03]: No drug dealer is just giving drugs out for free in hopes that he hooks these children on drugs and that they'll then come looking for said drugs.
35:41
[SPEAKER_03]: They wouldn't even know what drug they had to go buy it.
35:43
[SPEAKER_03]: They wouldn't even know what, hi, they're on.
35:45
[SPEAKER_03]: This makes zero sense to me.
35:47
[SPEAKER_03]: I cannot participate in this fear-mongering bullshit.
35:50
[SPEAKER_03]: I'm like, you have to, like, you don't have to, like, just go and think about it.
35:54
[SPEAKER_03]: But no, every Halloween I have to hear, there's probably drugs or needles.
35:57
[SPEAKER_03]: There's needles.
35:57
[SPEAKER_03]: I'm like, you can Google.
35:59
[SPEAKER_03]: Are there needles in kids candy?
36:01
[SPEAKER_03]: And it will say no.
36:04
[SPEAKER_01]: But it happened once, so it must happen all the time.
36:06
[SPEAKER_03]: Happens all the time, they're like, what are, so anyways, I, but I do think people don't want to challenge their thoughts because we're cool.
36:13
[SPEAKER_03]: Because there is something comfortable about being complacent, you know?
36:18
[SPEAKER_03]: So I think it requires people to be ready to be challenged in that way and want something different.
36:23
[SPEAKER_03]: I think it's also really cool.
36:24
[SPEAKER_03]: You know, it's not easy to start or stop anything.
36:27
[SPEAKER_03]: Like some people can, don't get started.
36:29
[SPEAKER_03]: Some people get started, but then never stop.
36:31
[SPEAKER_03]: And podcasts y'all are hungry babies.
36:34
[SPEAKER_03]: A YouTube channel is a hungry baby.
36:35
[SPEAKER_03]: It never grows up.
36:37
[SPEAKER_03]: It will never.
36:38
[SPEAKER_03]: They'll never produce its own content.
36:40
[SPEAKER_03]: It will always work well, your people meet a show up and be present.
36:44
[SPEAKER_03]: People who want to be on this podcast, people to listen to the podcast.
36:47
[SPEAKER_03]: It will always cry those things.
36:48
[SPEAKER_03]: And so it's pretty challenging thing to make a decision like that.
36:52
[SPEAKER_03]: And then like figure out what you want to do from it.
36:54
[SPEAKER_03]: So I don't know.
36:55
[SPEAKER_03]: I think it's cool, you know, what you're doing and you're exploring.
36:58
[SPEAKER_03]: I would love to know, what are you, like, are you excited about anything right now?
37:02
[SPEAKER_03]: Do you have a new country on your play?
37:04
[SPEAKER_03]: Like, what's coming up next for you, Billy?
37:07
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, so I'm current, I like I said, I'm in Seoul right now, but I am heading to Kotikinabalu in Malaysia.
37:15
[SPEAKER_01]: I have yet to be to Malaysia.
37:18
[SPEAKER_01]: And then I'm going to go to Kuala Lumpur.
37:19
[SPEAKER_01]: Kuala Lumpur was on my original list four years ago.
37:22
[SPEAKER_01]: And then it just kind of fell to the wayside.
37:25
[SPEAKER_01]: So going there, and then I'm going back to Chiang Mai because I love Chiang Mai.
37:30
[SPEAKER_01]: you know, if you're Pilates, you probably have a lot of people who are like yogis that travel around.
37:37
[SPEAKER_01]: So come to Chiang Mai and if you're in Chiang Mai in January and mid-February, let's go take a class together at Yoga Ananda.
37:46
[SPEAKER_01]: Because Krunuk is the single greatest yoga teacher in the history of yoga teachers.
37:54
[SPEAKER_01]: She has this
37:55
[SPEAKER_01]: presence about her like it's that I'm almost like a teenage girl outside of TRL on Backstreet birthday every time she walked into the room because I'm just like oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god and it's not she's she's strikingly beautiful of course but
38:11
[SPEAKER_01]: It's her presence and it's the way that she leads the class or I'm just like, I'm just so impressed with with just the way that she instructs in the way that she adjusts and it's really impressive.
38:27
[SPEAKER_03]: So, yo guys out there if you want to hang up with you because we do like Chiang Mai, we're just there last a year ago and we were there after the floods and it's it's a beautiful.
38:37
[SPEAKER_03]: People play it's we were in Chiang Rye before that and I kind of like Chiang Rye, but my husband really liked Chiang Mai.
38:41
[SPEAKER_03]: So I feel like we'll probably be back in Chiang Mai.
38:43
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, but that's going to be back.
38:46
[SPEAKER_01]: I'll be back in the States in case anybody is like, you know, I actually want to I want to meet this guy or want to be on the same time zone is this guy.
38:53
[SPEAKER_01]: I'll be back in the States in April because my niece is getting married in May.
38:58
[SPEAKER_01]: If she wasn't getting married, I would have no intentions of coming back to the States, but
39:01
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, you know, I suppose I should be there for that.
39:04
[SPEAKER_03]: I should be the phone call.
39:06
[SPEAKER_03]: Also, it'll be, and it's always good to like step back into the place that you're came from, just to kind of see how far you've gone.
39:12
[SPEAKER_03]: Like, you know what I mean?
39:14
[SPEAKER_03]: Like it's easy.
39:14
[SPEAKER_03]: It's an easier way to look in the reviewer mirror.
39:16
[SPEAKER_03]: We're going to take a brief break and find out how many people can find you online, instead of running into and Chiang Mai, and your beat action aims.
39:24
[SPEAKER_03]: All right, Billy, where, so your mindfulness coach, where can they connect with you, meet you, work with you on Zoom, what do you got?
39:31
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, if you want more from the podcast, you can go to www.mindfulmedlifecrisis.com, and you can sign up for the jumpstart, your mid-life workbook, and then be part of my newsletter, too, that way you can hear all the times that I talk about Leslie show, and then you can find out where I go.
39:49
[SPEAKER_01]: I talk about my travels in there as well.
39:51
[SPEAKER_01]: I kind of give recaps of life lessons from past episodes in that newsletter as well.
40:00
[SPEAKER_01]: you can go to www.billylar.com.
40:03
[SPEAKER_01]: It's L-A-H-R if you want to check that out.
40:05
[SPEAKER_01]: I have a YouTube you can check out those and I'm rebranding all those so they're going to be also to click baby titles in case you don't like my esoteric titles that I've been using in the past.
40:16
[SPEAKER_01]: You can follow me on
40:18
[SPEAKER_01]: Instagram, mindful underscore midlife underscore crisis, and you can follow me on LinkedIn, Billy Larr.
40:26
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, come to me out and say hi.
40:28
[SPEAKER_01]: Let me know if there were any takeaways from this episode.
40:31
[SPEAKER_01]: Things that I said that you were like, oh, I really like that or things that I said where you're like, dude, you're full of shit.
40:36
[SPEAKER_01]: Let's talk about it.
40:38
[SPEAKER_03]: I think that both are great.
40:39
[SPEAKER_03]: But both has strike wonderful curious conversations.
40:43
[SPEAKER_03]: I also suppose a way to go, way to promote all the things.
40:45
[SPEAKER_03]: Look at you.
40:47
[SPEAKER_03]: What can you believe?
40:48
[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, I invested in that stuff.
40:50
[SPEAKER_01]: I might as well.
40:51
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes, I might as well talk about this stuff.
40:53
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, absolutely.
41:01
[SPEAKER_03]: Okay, you've actually given us some great stuff, but we always do the, the, I totally listen, but I still want action steps at the end.
41:08
[SPEAKER_03]: Be it bold, executable, intrinsic or target set people can take to be it today.
41:12
[SPEAKER_03]: See it, what do you have for us?
41:13
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, so the first thing that I tell people is to figure out what are your strengths.
41:19
[SPEAKER_01]: Right, so this whole idea we talked about, follow your passion is complete in other nonsense.
41:25
[SPEAKER_01]: Passion is not a starting point.
41:26
[SPEAKER_01]: Passion is a by-product.
41:28
[SPEAKER_01]: And it is a by-product of this formula.
41:31
[SPEAKER_01]: Remember, I like structures, so we're gonna have formulas.
41:33
[SPEAKER_01]: So step one, figure out what you're good at.
41:37
[SPEAKER_01]: where are your strengths?
41:38
[SPEAKER_01]: If you don't know, ask somebody.
41:40
[SPEAKER_01]: Take a personality profile test.
41:42
[SPEAKER_01]: I actually have one in the jump start to your midlife workbook that you can take.
41:46
[SPEAKER_01]: That's what this whole workbook is about these steps right here.
41:51
[SPEAKER_01]: Secondly, what are you curious about and how can you leverage those skills and those strengths to learn more?
42:01
[SPEAKER_01]: And then third find a community.
42:04
[SPEAKER_01]: find people that you can connect with.
42:07
[SPEAKER_01]: All of that will help you identify your purpose.
42:10
[SPEAKER_01]: And then if you want to turn purpose into passion, you just multiply that by consistency, discipline, patience, and self-compassion.
42:19
[SPEAKER_01]: Everybody talks about the consistency and the discipline.
42:24
[SPEAKER_01]: Nobody ever talks about the patience and the self-compassion.
42:28
[SPEAKER_01]: You gotta have those two.
42:30
[SPEAKER_01]: And then what you'll find is, oh, you figure out what it is that you're passionate about.
42:36
[SPEAKER_01]: To me, passion is something that you will do on the weekend for free.
42:41
[SPEAKER_01]: Because you enjoy it so much.
42:44
[SPEAKER_01]: don't monetize it.
42:45
[SPEAKER_01]: You don't have to monetize it.
42:47
[SPEAKER_01]: Just do it for you, do it for fun.
42:50
[SPEAKER_01]: And at a full over time, you'd like, oh, okay, like maybe maybe I can make a little side also with this.
42:56
[SPEAKER_01]: Go for it, but then remember, it's no longer a passion.
42:59
[SPEAKER_01]: It's a job.
43:00
[SPEAKER_01]: So keep those things in mind and just follow those steps, especially those first three, those are the big three, right there.
43:07
[SPEAKER_01]: And you'll it'll give your life a little bit more
43:14
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, so good.
43:17
[SPEAKER_03]: Way to go.
43:18
[SPEAKER_03]: Thanks, Billy.
43:19
[SPEAKER_01]: This is so fun.
43:20
[SPEAKER_01]: Thank you for having me.
43:20
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I would join it.
43:21
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, everyone, how you're using these tips in your life?
43:24
[SPEAKER_03]: Let Billy know.
43:25
[SPEAKER_03]: Let the be a pod, no.
43:27
[SPEAKER_03]: And send this to a friend who needs to hear it.
43:28
[SPEAKER_03]: Send it to a complacent friend.
43:30
[SPEAKER_03]: Be their kickstart.
43:31
[SPEAKER_03]: It'll help him stretch their dough and until next time, be it till you see it.
43:35
[SPEAKER_03]: That's all I got for this episode of The Beat Tell You See A Podcast.
43:38
[SPEAKER_03]: One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review.
43:43
[SPEAKER_03]: And follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcasts.
43:47
[SPEAKER_03]: Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at The Beat Pot on Instagram.
43:51
[SPEAKER_03]: I would love to know more about you.
43:53
[SPEAKER_03]: Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it.
43:55
[SPEAKER_03]: Help us and others be a tell you see it.
43:59
[SPEAKER_03]: Have an awesome day.
44:02
[SPEAKER_03]: Be it till you see it is a production of the blue pod cast network.
44:05
[SPEAKER_03]: If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at plus one three one oh nine oh five five three four or send a DM on Instagram at be it pod.
44:17
[SPEAKER_02]: It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Leslie Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.
44:22
[SPEAKER_03]: It is transcribed, produced, and edited by the epic team at Desenio.co.
44:27
[SPEAKER_02]: Our theme music is by Ellie at Apex production music, and our branding by designer and artist, John Franco Chilfe.
44:34
[SPEAKER_03]: Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.
44:37
[SPEAKER_02]: Also, to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website.
44:41
[SPEAKER_02]: And finally, the Meredith Root, for keeping us all on point and on time.