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Remembering Love That Lives On · Infinitely Precious

• 0:00
  Intro: Welcome to the Infinitely Precious Podcast produced by Infinitely Precious LLC. Your host is James Henry. Remember, you are infinitely precious and unconditionally loved for the gift you already are.
• 0:12
  James: Hello, beloved. It's me, James. Today is a special day, special extra edition of the Infinitely Precious podcast. Today, I am remembering my father, William Heath Henry, who died one year ago today, April 23. Yesterday's, regular Infinitely Precious podcast, in that podcast, I talked about inviting grief intentionally into our lives, making rhythms, perhaps rituals, ways that we can remember those about whom we are grieving.
• 1:02
  And it was just a year ago that I said farewell to my father. I didn't begin the day knowing that that would be the way that it was, but it was relatively early in the day that I got the call that dad had been rushed to the hospital from the rehab center. And I began receiving calls from the emergency room as they worked with me as his medical power of attorney to figure out the next steps. And so I remember that day and I can remember it vividly. But even more than that day, I remember my father.
• 1:44
  Interestingly enough in church tradition, maybe in other traditions too, when we think of saints, we don't speak of the saint's birthday. The saint day is not related to their birthday. A saint's day is related to their day of death, to the day that they passed out of this world. Birth is important, don't get me wrong. But for many of the saints, they died in service to the church.
• 2:15
  And so their day of celebration is the day that they died. So for me, this is an appropriate day for me to remember my dad. Other religious traditions, I know that our Jewish sisters and brothers on the one year anniversary of a death will light a candle and celebrate. So on this day, April 23, I have lighted a candle. Now if you're only listening to the Infinitely Precious podcast today, you cannot see that I've lit a candle and it is in a blue candle holder.
• 2:55
  I chose this candle holder purposefully to remember my father because he had very blue eyes. And so as I look at this flame and I remember the light of his life, how it shone into my life, the difference he made to me, I can't speak for everybody else. And we all have mixed memories. I don't pretend that my father was a perfect man. But he was a man that I would strive to be more like in my life.
• 3:32
  He was a man who he was a very few words. He didn't say a lot, but when he said things, the things that he said were meaningful, were powerful. And certainly in my life, particularly in the last ten, twenty years, but certainly for my whole life, he spoke into it words that helped sustain me and carry me forward. He was always interested in who I was and what I was doing and was always glad to lend his wisdom to my life. It's kind of wisdom that I could wish for even today.
• 4:21
  Were in the process of packing to move to a new pastoral position at the time when daddy died. And those last conversations that we had before in the months leading up to his death, he'd often ask about how were things ending at my previous place and what kinds of things did I think I might be about? What did I know about the new place I was going? How I might lead there? And he was always interested to listen and offer any advice, any insight that he might have.
• 5:10
  So on this day that I remember, I light this candle. Linda and I at the church I serve now, Dulen United Methodist Church, put the flowers, the Sunday worship flowers were in memory of dad. So I brought them home and here they are, beautiful vibrant colors. And when I look at the beautiful vibrant colors of these flowers, I think of the beautiful vibrant life my father had in his own quiet way of being there, of making things, making certain things were just so, doing his best he was to care for the three of us, his children, and certainly his wife, my mom, throughout his life. He was never afraid to make sacrifices, never afraid to be there for all the events of things we were planned.
• 6:15
  He worked hard and he also made time to be a part of all the things that each one of us in his life did. He lived the kind of fullness of life. And part of his witness at the end for me was the peace with which he faced death. One of the things we had the opportunity to talk about several times when he was in the hospital and it looked like he was close originally, and then he recovered And then he went down again. And then he came back again.
• 6:51
  Then he went to rehab and got better. And then he took a sudden turn and died. In our conversations, we talked about the peace with which he faced death. He felt he had lived a full life. He felt that he and God were on good terms.
• 7:08
  And there was just a kind of a peacefulness that he shared with me. I hope as I draw closer, we never know when that is for any of us, that as I draw closer to that time when I will pass from this world, that I will have that same peace. And so I remember him and I carry him with me. I carry him with me. Not only these flowers, but my sister made sure that there were three yellow roses as a part of the flowers for daddy at his funeral, one for each one of us, each of his children to carry and to remember.
• 8:00
  So I see that it sits right next to my prayer chair and I'm reminded of him. And quite frankly, I speak aloud to him with some regularity. Sometimes it's something as simple as Daddy, I miss you. Or, Daddy, I still love you. Or, Daddy, thanks for what you taught me about being the man that I am today.
• 8:29
  What kinds of ways can we honor those who have gone before? I've done a few today. I lighted a candle. I lighted a candle and I chose a candle holder that was a particular color because it reminded me of dad. As it drew close to his death even before, Linda and I had flowers placed in memory of dad.
• 9:03
  And I saw those flowers and they reminded me. And I sit next to the flowers right now and they remind me. And they sit normally on the dining table where I eat with my son and my wife and myself every morning and some evenings together. And there they are. But certainly every breakfast, there are those flowers reminding me ever since this past Sunday of how much dad meant.
• 9:34
  The fragrance of these fresh flowers, the vibrant colors of these flowers, the promise of new life because some of these buds are still in the process of popping open. All of those remind me of the hope we live into, of the peaceful way in which my father passed from his life, and in the courageous way that he lived his life in his own way for ninety six years. The example that he was, some of the mistakes he shared with me over a lifetime, some of the mistakes people shared with me that he had done since he's passed on, because all of those make him him. He made his own mistakes. He did his own thing.
• 10:28
  He was always the person, always tried to be the person he was made to be. And he took responsibility, care for others seriously. He took the care of this world very seriously and created an environment in which I could become, grow up to be who I am. And so as I remember him today and I invite you to remember those to practice intentionally encountering your grief, living into your grief, hearing the grief speak to you. What is it that you miss?
• 11:13
  I wish miss dad's strong hugs. I miss dad saying to me, James, I'm proud of you. I miss those conversations we would have about changing technology, about the world in which we live, about the changing politics and the division in the world and how he found that saddening and sometimes frustrating and sometimes even angering that people would deliberately sow such discord in this world. I miss that. I miss those words.
• 11:57
  I miss those conversations. I miss the surprise calls from dad or the opportunity to talk to him when I called them to hear what they were doing. The meticulous way he lived his life and the care with which he gave it. We can all hope that we leave behind a legacy. And I think I'm part of my father's.
• 12:26
  And the way he breathed life into me and spoke to me helped to make me who I am. So I remember William Heath Henry today on the first anniversary of his death. I encourage you to do the same on special days for people that you love and care for And do it in the way that seems most appropriate to you, candle, flowers, items, perhaps gazing at a picture of them, perhaps if they love the outside, taking a long walk outside, whatever it may be, we honor those who came before us. We honor those who we grieve. And remember this always, that grief is love as it's missed, as it lives into the missing of the one that's gone.
• 13:24
  Grief is love in action within us when the one who is loved is no longer available to us in the form they were before. Grief and love are intimately related. Remember my friends, as I reminded my father, you are infinitely precious. You are unconditionally loved for the gift you already are. Feet of clay and all, mistakes and all, you are loved as was my father.
• 14:00
  So this special time, thanks for joining me. If you did, it was very personal. It was an example for me of what I talked about in the recent podcast, yesterday's podcast, intentionally grieving as a way to bring healing. So until the next time, I wish you all the very best my friends. Thanks for joining me today.