Latest / Two Doting Dads with Matty J & Ash / #256 Someone Stop The Parenting Police

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#256 Someone Stop The Parenting Police · Two Doting Dads with Matty J & Ash

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Do you slap April's bottom when she's bent over?
• 0:02
  Speaker 2: Nah, more of a put a finger in guy.
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: I do that as well. I do that as well.
• 0:09
  Speaker 2: We do it to each other. I think it's a
• 0:10
  Speaker 2: couple's thing.
• 0:11
  Speaker 1: Secretly, I think Laura likes it.
• 0:13
  Speaker 2: Well, I saw on..
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: Dick's like, nope.
• 0:16
  Speaker 2: I saw on the Ricky Lee and Tim show, Nova,
• 0:19
  Speaker 2: on the same network as us, thank you. They were
• 0:21
  Speaker 2: talking about this and she was talking about how every
• 0:24
  Speaker 2: couple sort of does, if you're walking behind your husband,
• 0:26
  Speaker 2: especially up the stairs, sneaky finger up the bum. Just
• 0:30
  Speaker 2: like a little whoop.
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: I kind of like it. Let's start the show.
• 0:38
  Speaker 2: It's like.
• 0:49
  Speaker 3: It.
• 0:49
  Speaker 1: Welcome back to Two Dating Dads. I am Matty J.
• 0:51
  Speaker 3: I'm Ash.
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: And this is a podcast all about parenting. It is
• 0:54
  Speaker 1: the good. It is the bad.
• 0:55
  Speaker 2: And the relatable.
• 0:56
  Speaker 1: Come for advice.
• 0:57
  Speaker 3: Nope.
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: Nope.
• 0:58
  Speaker 2: Nope. Nope. No, but this is a housekeeping episode. You
• 1:01
  Speaker 2: never know what the doters are going to dish out.
• 1:02
  Speaker 2: And there could be some advice not from us, though.
• 1:04
  Speaker 1: A little bit from us. Loophole. Loophole. To the doters
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: who are doing housekeeping, keep up the great work.
• 1:10
  Speaker 2: Yes. Great form on that, Vackie.
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: Yeah. I wonder what percentage of doters are doing the
• 1:17
  Speaker 1: laundry right now, folding the washing. I hope it's towels.
• 1:21
  Speaker 2: Yes, I see those TikToks where it's like Justin Bieber,
• 1:24
  Speaker 2: he was in his boxers and socks or whatever. An
• 1:26
  Speaker 2: iconic moment of this year and there was all those
• 1:29
  Speaker 2: videos of people like, I put something on to help
• 1:31
  Speaker 2: me while I'm in the housework and they just stopped
• 1:33
  Speaker 2: staring at it while I'm doing the housework. Why can't
• 1:35
  Speaker 2: someone do that for us?
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: I actually think we should be doing housework right now.
• 1:40
  Speaker 2: I did some this morning.
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: What did you do?
• 1:42
  Speaker 2: This morning I made the bed, cleaned the kitchen before
• 1:44
  Speaker 2: April got back from... What a guy!
• 1:47
  Speaker 4: What else? Wow.
• 1:50
  Speaker 2: Thank you.
• 1:51
  Speaker 1: Wow. You are incredible.
• 1:54
  Speaker 2: This feels like an acceptance speech.
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: Build him a statue.
• 1:57
  Speaker 2: We have a statue of me at home. It's a
• 1:58
  Speaker 2: plush toy. And you've got one up there. Actually, I
• 2:01
  Speaker 2: need to get your... I was meant to bring your
• 2:02
  Speaker 2: one in. And also I've got some soundproofing I need
• 2:04
  Speaker 2: to bring in.
• 2:04
  Speaker 1: Damn it!
• 2:05
  Speaker 2: Anyway, carry on.
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: Book Week. Housekeeping Book Week. Where are you at?
• 2:09
  Speaker 2: Went to Macy's little... You know how kidneys have fun
• 2:12
  Speaker 2: names for things like pizza and puzzle and art. I
• 2:13
  Speaker 2: can't remember the name of this one. It was like
• 2:15
  Speaker 2: books and... bureaucrats it was like sorry it was like
• 2:19
  Speaker 2: books and something else and i was like you go
• 2:21
  Speaker 2: and they had little stations where you go and read
• 2:23
  Speaker 2: some books with your kids and then like maybe play
• 2:25
  Speaker 2: a game no food disappointing.
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: But whatever when did the parade start.
• 2:29
  Speaker 2: No parade there what no parade at this particular.
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: Like that seems like it's it's like christmas with no presents.
• 2:36
  Speaker 2: They're Not as traumatising. Christmas is about giving too, by
• 2:40
  Speaker 2: the way, Matt. News to me. Yeah, look, they're ahead
• 2:44
  Speaker 2: of the curve. So they've gone with a slightly different,
• 2:48
  Speaker 2: more in, I think it's more parent inclusive. I got
• 2:50
  Speaker 2: to go with, you got to show me some of
• 2:52
  Speaker 2: her art. It was sort of like an open day,
• 2:53
  Speaker 2: but with more books.
• 2:54
  Speaker 1: I don't like it.
• 2:55
  Speaker 2: And guess whose book was there?
• 2:57
  Speaker 4: Yours.
• 2:58
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and the two Dating Day books in there as well.
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: Ah, yes.
• 3:00
  Speaker 2: Yeah, we made it. We made it. For those of
• 3:02
  Speaker 2: you wondering, I'm talking about 210 Days and the Quest
• 3:04
  Speaker 2: for Free Time. And also The Secret Ingredient, written by
• 3:06
  Speaker 2: yours truly.
• 3:06
  Speaker 1: Did anyone dress up as Ashwick's? No one? No. Oh, sorry.
• 3:11
  Speaker 2: Not even Oscar this year, I don't think.
• 3:12
  Speaker 1: Fuck him.
• 3:13
  Speaker 2: He's going as... Actually, this refers to you, Vic. Vic
• 3:18
  Speaker 2: generously gave Oscar a book last week, which was a
• 3:20
  Speaker 2: Ronaldo versus Messi book, which is full of details of
• 3:24
  Speaker 2: these two soccer players, which Oscar is obsessed with. So
• 3:26
  Speaker 2: thank you very much. You know my kids very well.
• 3:29
  Speaker 2: He's going as Ronaldo and taking that book with him.
• 3:31
  Speaker 2: So well done.
• 3:32
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 3:32
  Speaker 1: He's like, can I wear my soccer boots?
• 3:33
  Speaker 2: I'm like, absolutely not.
• 3:35
  Speaker 1: Yeah, he'll churn up those little nipples.
• 3:37
  Speaker 2: He just wants to fuck people up at lunch in
• 3:39
  Speaker 2: the soccer field.
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: That's why. With his boots. Yeah. Can you wear boots
• 3:42
  Speaker 1: at lunchtime? No, surely not.
• 3:43
  Speaker 2: No way, no. One of the mums from the soccer
• 3:45
  Speaker 2: team was at the school during lunch watching them from
• 3:47
  Speaker 2: afar playing soccer and she was like, they are ruthless.
• 3:50
  Speaker 2: There's no rules there, man. It's like a prison yard.
• 3:53
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 3:53
  Speaker 2: You know the longest yard? The movie is like that.
• 3:56
  Speaker 1: Life is better with book week off my shoulders.
• 3:59
  Speaker 2: I know.
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: Actually, the teachers look great dressed up. They put on
• 4:02
  Speaker 1: a great, I want to say, every kid at school
• 4:06
  Speaker 1: dressed up. And as much as I'm like, fucking book week,
• 4:09
  Speaker 1: why do we fucking need this added pressure? When the
• 4:11
  Speaker 1: parade started, I was like, yeah!
• 4:13
  Speaker 2: It's all worth it.
• 4:15
  Speaker 1: I was loving it.
• 4:16
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 4:17
  Speaker 1: And I was like, woo, go Marley.
• 4:19
  Speaker 2: I think you see that one kid who didn't dress up.
• 4:21
  Speaker 1: No, everyone did.
• 4:22
  Speaker 2: Everyone did.
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: I think in my group chat for both classes, Marley
• 4:28
  Speaker 1: and Lola, I would have had... In the space of
• 4:30
  Speaker 1: a week, 50 messages of like, just reminder, Everett Book
• 4:34
  Speaker 1: Week is coming up. Starts at 9.10, remember? And like
• 4:38
  Speaker 1: just the barrage.
• 4:40
  Speaker 2: Oh, yeah.
• 4:41
  Speaker 1: And every parent was like, must pay Book Week.
• 4:43
  Speaker 2: Exactly why I removed myself from any group chats. I
• 4:47
  Speaker 2: was just like, loves that stuff.
• 4:49
  Speaker 1: But it worked.
• 4:50
  Speaker 2: It's so like, I fucking hate it when you see
• 4:51
  Speaker 2: one kid who's like, someone's forgot. I feel so sorry
• 4:54
  Speaker 2: for them. It's like, there's only so many lost and found.
• 4:57
  Speaker 1: There was actually one parent. who handmade wings of a dragon.
• 5:01
  Speaker 2: That's just showing off, isn't it?
• 5:03
  Speaker 1: And there was like a little lever that the wings
• 5:05
  Speaker 1: expanded behind her. She was wearing it like a backpack
• 5:07
  Speaker 1: and the wings expanded. And I was like.
• 5:08
  Speaker 2: Can you please get some footage of this? I want
• 5:11
  Speaker 2: to see. That's impressive. Were they How to Train a
• 5:13
  Speaker 2: Dragon or something?
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: I didn't ask any questions. I was so mesmerized by
• 5:17
  Speaker 1: the mechanics of the wings.
• 5:18
  Speaker 2: Do you think they used a 3D printer?
• 5:20
  Speaker 1: No, it was all cardboard. Wow. Yeah, cardboard and straws
• 5:24
  Speaker 1: and like glue.
• 5:25
  Speaker 2: That's impressive. Thank you.
• 5:26
  Speaker 1: Good, good.
• 5:28
  Speaker 2: You're taking credit.
• 5:29
  Speaker 3: Someone at Lily's this morning had wings as well and
• 5:33
  Speaker 3: they were dressed as a bin chicken and they had
• 5:35
  Speaker 3: a bin, like an actual bin around them and then
• 5:38
  Speaker 3: the wings and then that giant beak.
• 5:40
  Speaker 1: Now you're just showing off.
• 5:42
  Speaker 3: Every parent was like, look at that binge.
• 5:45
  Speaker 1: You got too much fucking time up your sleeve yeah
• 5:48
  Speaker 1: is that the saying.
• 5:49
  Speaker 3: I mean yeah most parents are just pulling out of
• 5:51
  Speaker 3: the costume.
• 5:52
  Speaker 1: Box it was stressful enough trying to buy a costume
• 5:55
  Speaker 1: of amazon which came within 24 hours like that that
• 5:57
  Speaker 1: was for me that almost broke me.
• 5:59
  Speaker 2: Uh there was an article i'm not sure if you
• 6:02
  Speaker 2: saw it uh this is from seven news this popped
• 6:04
  Speaker 2: up should parents have to make book week costumes themselves.
• 6:10
  Speaker 1: That is outrageous. Yeah. You may as well be asking,
• 6:13
  Speaker 1: should dads be delivering the babies themselves?
• 6:16
  Speaker 2: Yeah, at home. At home.
• 6:19
  Speaker 1: That's seven years. No discredit to what an amazing, I
• 6:22
  Speaker 1: think they won a Logie.
• 6:23
  Speaker 2: They put a question mark at the end of it
• 6:24
  Speaker 2: so that they're like, whoa, we're just asking you.
• 6:26
  Speaker 1: We're asking the question.
• 6:28
  Speaker 5: Well, you should look at the comment section.
• 6:29
  Speaker 2: Oh, so it's just a taster of one or two comments.
• 6:32
  Speaker 2: Children should make them during art classes leading up to
• 6:35
  Speaker 2: book week.
• 6:36
  Speaker 1: That's very good.
• 6:36
  Speaker 2: That's good. Or you could get your kids to make
• 6:38
  Speaker 2: them at home on the weekend as an activity. Look
• 6:41
  Speaker 2: at us go.
• 6:41
  Speaker 1: Should you shut the fuck up right now? Well, I'm
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: going to stop you right there. Vic, take that out.
• 6:46
  Speaker 1: We do not need more arts and crafts at home
• 6:49
  Speaker 1: for parents.
• 6:50
  Speaker 2: Yeah, okay.
• 6:50
  Speaker 1: And also you suggesting that of all people?
• 6:53
  Speaker 2: Sorry, me definitely not doing it. What are you doing?
• 6:55
  Speaker 1: That's off brand. Very off brand from you.
• 6:58
  Speaker 2: I'm trying to be better. I'm trying to be more inclusive.
• 7:00
  Speaker 2: This one's a good, here's a good comment. And I
• 7:02
  Speaker 2: like this one.
• 7:03
  Speaker 1: Hit me.
• 7:03
  Speaker 2: Should book week not exist?
• 7:05
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 7:06
  Speaker 1: I'm just asking the question. Just asking.
• 7:10
  Speaker 3: Because it's not only the costume, it's also the, hey,
• 7:12
  Speaker 3: can you take time off work to come into school?
• 7:14
  Speaker 2: Very true.
• 7:15
  Speaker 5: And it was full of parents, the one that we
• 7:17
  Speaker 5: went to today.
• 7:18
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you could tell immediately that everyone was at Book
• 7:21
  Speaker 2: Week because the economy plummeted.
• 7:23
  Speaker 1: Yeah, the GPD was down 20% on Book Week.
• 7:26
  Speaker 2: I know. It's just like. They're prime selling hours, Vic.
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: Do you know who does profit from Book Week? Books.
• 7:33
  Speaker 2: Books.
• 7:34
  Speaker 1: Book industry is like, finally, it's everything keeping it afloat.
• 7:37
  Speaker 1: Booktopia is like.
• 7:38
  Speaker 2: Oh, God, thank God. We're looking at another receivership here.
• 7:42
  Speaker 1: But Amazon, they must be like.
• 7:46
  Speaker 5: Any costume shop.
• 7:47
  Speaker 1: Actually, because they have 100 days where they just like
• 7:51
  Speaker 1: shoehorn any fucking costume to be like, this is an
• 7:53
  Speaker 1: old person, to then go straight into book week. They
• 7:56
  Speaker 1: are like Jeff Bezos.
• 7:57
  Speaker 2: They know what they're doing.
• 7:58
  Speaker 1: They know exactly what they're doing.
• 7:59
  Speaker 2: They know the strategy behind it. They're preparing for next
• 8:02
  Speaker 2: year's book week now.
• 8:03
  Speaker 1: But if you're a parent making your own costume, I
• 8:06
  Speaker 1: think credit to you. Like that is very impressive. Not
• 8:09
  Speaker 1: for me.
• 8:10
  Speaker 2: No.
• 8:10
  Speaker 1: I'm going to leave it to the professionals.
• 8:12
  Speaker 3: Well, one mum on this post said, this is a
• 8:15
  Speaker 3: great opportunity to explore your child's imagination and make a
• 8:18
  Speaker 3: costume come to life with mummy and daddy.
• 8:21
  Speaker 1: Shut up. Who was that?
• 8:22
  Speaker 5: I don't think we should.
• 8:23
  Speaker 2: That's a pet parent.
• 8:24
  Speaker 1: Give me the name.
• 8:25
  Speaker 2: That's a fucking pet parent comment to that, surely.
• 8:27
  Speaker 5: That's a mother named Mel.
• 8:29
  Speaker 1: Oh, classic Mel.
• 8:30
  Speaker 2: Oh, classic.
• 8:31
  Speaker 1: Classic Mel. I mean, credit to you, Mel. I like
• 8:33
  Speaker 1: your attitude.
• 8:34
  Speaker 2: I really do.
• 8:35
  Speaker 1: It's not for everyone. But it's not for me. Some
• 8:38
  Speaker 1: people like coriander.
• 8:39
  Speaker 2: I don't think, do the least pressure one unless you
• 8:43
  Speaker 2: really want to do that. I think like it's a choice.
• 8:45
  Speaker 1: Can I just quickly on Book Week as well? Did
• 8:48
  Speaker 1: you hear about there are certain schools that are banning costumes?
• 8:52
  Speaker 4: Oh, no.
• 8:52
  Speaker 1: Did you hear about this?
• 8:53
  Speaker 2: Where do we enrol?
• 8:54
  Speaker 1: So a Christian school in Queensland, bloody Queensland, children have
• 8:58
  Speaker 1: been banned from dressing as some of the most recognisable
• 9:01
  Speaker 1: characters in literature on religious grounds, keeping with the Christian
• 9:05
  Speaker 1: values of our school. I'm not going to say anything
• 9:07
  Speaker 1: about that.
• 9:07
  Speaker 2: They're only allowed to wear one costume and it's a
• 9:09
  Speaker 2: sexy choir boy.
• 9:13
  Speaker 1: Keeping with the Christian values of our school, we would
• 9:16
  Speaker 1: ask that there be no wizards, witches, weapons, zombies and
• 9:20
  Speaker 1: the like, the school told families. The rule effectively excludes
• 9:24
  Speaker 1: all characters from the Harry Potter series, which has sold
• 9:26
  Speaker 1: more than 600 million copies worldwide.
• 9:29
  Speaker 2: You can dress as anyone from the Bible. I was like, fuck, what?
• 9:33
  Speaker 3: Wow.
• 9:34
  Speaker 2: It's like..
• 9:34
  Speaker 1: It's a bit silly, isn't it?
• 9:35
  Speaker 2: Especially, like, I feel..
• 9:37
  Speaker 1: We're not worshipping wizards and witches.
• 9:39
  Speaker 2: I know, like, all the wizards are like, damn. We're misrepresented, okay?
• 9:45
  Speaker 2: Come on, that's outrageous. Oh, yeah.
• 9:48
  Speaker 1: That is outrageous.
• 9:49
  Speaker 2: I think like you can't.
• 9:50
  Speaker 3: It's stamping out, as Ben said the other day, it's
• 9:53
  Speaker 3: stamping out kids' creativity.
• 9:56
  Speaker 2: For sure.
• 9:56
  Speaker 1: I get it. though.
• 9:57
  Speaker 2: Religion's done that for decades. Like Harry Potter.
• 10:00
  Speaker 3: We saw the cutest little Hermione and Harry Potter this morning.
• 10:03
  Speaker 2: It's also such an easy one to do. Like put
• 10:06
  Speaker 2: a fucking pair of glasses on that kid and chuck her.
• 10:10
  Speaker 1: If you're going to dress as the devil, I get it.
• 10:13
  Speaker 1: I get it. That's a bit too far maybe for
• 10:15
  Speaker 1: some people.
• 10:16
  Speaker 2: Oh, I didn't.
• 10:17
  Speaker 1: Well said. Thank you.
• 10:22
  Speaker 2: All right. Can we move on from book week?
• 10:24
  Speaker 1: Father's Day.
• 10:25
  Speaker 2: Father's Day is coming up.
• 10:26
  Speaker 1: Father's Day is coming up. Just to remind people. Is
• 10:29
  Speaker 1: it September 5, Ash? 6.
• 10:31
  Speaker 2: It is the Sunday of that weekend. It's the 6th.
• 10:34
  Speaker 2: I get back from my holiday on that day.
• 10:37
  Speaker 4: Ah.
• 10:37
  Speaker 1: Have you put in any requests for your family to
• 10:40
  Speaker 1: buy something?
• 10:41
  Speaker 2: I don't expect them to buy me anything, no. I
• 10:43
  Speaker 2: think it's just spend the day with my kids.
• 10:45
  Speaker 1: Shut up. Shut up.
• 10:47
  Speaker 2: What I'd really like.
• 10:48
  Speaker 1: Yeah, there we go.
• 10:50
  Speaker 2: No. All right, no request. Honestly, I forgot.
• 10:52
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't think I really, I mean, I did
• 10:54
  Speaker 1: do a job with Maya and I got an espresso machine.
• 10:57
  Speaker 2: Is that worth a payment? It was an espresso machine
• 11:00
  Speaker 2: and a pair of cowboy boots. It was lovely.
• 11:03
  Speaker 1: Vic, are you getting Dan anything?
• 11:04
  Speaker 2: No, the kid's getting Dan anything, but Vic's going to
• 11:06
  Speaker 2: obviously facilitate.
• 11:08
  Speaker 5: I have got him a personalised.
• 11:11
  Speaker 2: Hoodie oh the personalized hoodie they're pretty cool actually which.
• 11:15
  Speaker 3: I got him last year and he wears it every single.
• 11:17
  Speaker 1: Week you have you have been pushing the hoodie the
• 11:20
  Speaker 1: personalized hoodie and i started getting ads for that same
• 11:23
  Speaker 1: brand that you showed me.
• 11:25
  Speaker 3: Well i thought it's actually good merch if dodas want
• 11:28
  Speaker 3: a hoodie.
• 11:28
  Speaker 2: There you go guys we might put it in the
• 11:30
  Speaker 2: show notes i think i think like yeah dads wear
• 11:35
  Speaker 2: shirts forever i.
• 11:36
  Speaker 1: Just think i know it's cliche it Undies.
• 11:39
  Speaker 2: Undies are good.
• 11:39
  Speaker 1: I need undies.
• 11:40
  Speaker 2: Yours are white. You need undies every week.
• 11:42
  Speaker 1: The white ones are being phased out.
• 11:43
  Speaker 2: Did I shame you out of it? I'm really sorry
• 11:45
  Speaker 2: if I did.
• 11:45
  Speaker 1: No, that's okay. They were actually just at the end
• 11:47
  Speaker 1: of their lifespan, so it's fine.
• 11:49
  Speaker 2: You counted the skitties on it. You're like, oh, I
• 11:50
  Speaker 2: just want too many skitties.
• 11:51
  Speaker 1: Whenever I'm wiping my bum, I always think back to
• 11:54
  Speaker 1: the comment you said, I think it was a year ago,
• 11:57
  Speaker 1: at 204, you said, do people really wipe their bum
• 12:01
  Speaker 1: clean every single time?
• 12:02
  Speaker 2: LAUGHTER Absolutely not, man. No one has that much time
• 12:08
  Speaker 2: on their hands. They want us to make book week costumes.
• 12:11
  Speaker 1: How am I going to do that?
• 12:12
  Speaker 2: But I can't. Every time I wipe it, it's the same.
• 12:15
  Speaker 2: It's the same result.
• 12:17
  Speaker 1: By the seventh wipe, I'm like, that's close enough.
• 12:19
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 12:19
  Speaker 2: It's like I can see myself have to itch my
• 12:22
  Speaker 2: arsehole for the rest of the day. Yeah. I would
• 12:27
  Speaker 2: say get dad a douche.
• 12:31
  Speaker 1: Hey, YouTube, just quickly.
• 12:32
  Speaker 2: What? We're sending out- I love how every point is
• 12:35
  Speaker 2: just quickly on YouTube, 10 minute conversation.
• 12:39
  Speaker 1: It's a bit of a Donald Trump move where we
• 12:40
  Speaker 1: were like- We're going back on what we had previously said. Okay.
• 12:44
  Speaker 2: Just for the doters out there, when we went to
• 12:46
  Speaker 2: two episodes a week, Matt and I had this conversation,
• 12:49
  Speaker 2: a lengthy conversation one night about- I would prefer to
• 12:53
  Speaker 2: provide two episodes in audio form. So let's park YouTube
• 12:58
  Speaker 2: then that we did, but somehow we ended up doing
• 13:01
  Speaker 2: more YouTube and more episodes. And now we're saying we're
• 13:05
  Speaker 2: scrapping the YouTube to shorter form, but then with one leap,
• 13:09
  Speaker 2: like not even any feedback.
• 13:11
  Speaker 1: Just as we were about to yield, yield, wield, wield
• 13:15
  Speaker 1: the ax.
• 13:16
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 13:16
  Speaker 3: Wield.
• 13:17
  Speaker 1: Wield the ax. Far out. Thank you very much. We
• 13:20
  Speaker 1: were about to delete YouTube altogether. Not really, but just,
• 13:24
  Speaker 1: you know, for dramatic effect. And then Vic was like, wait,
• 13:28
  Speaker 1: like running into the room. Like, don't delete it. And
• 13:30
  Speaker 1: we're like, what is it, Vic? And she's like, why
• 13:31
  Speaker 1: don't we just do like a bit of a quicker
• 13:33
  Speaker 1: little skimmy skim, no frills edit.
• 13:35
  Speaker 2: That's a great idea. And I forgot about that. And
• 13:38
  Speaker 2: I want to say that's an awesome idea. So well done.
• 13:40
  Speaker 1: So just as it was about to get executed, Vic
• 13:42
  Speaker 1: has saved the day.
• 13:43
  Speaker 2: You've given YouTube another life. That's two of its nine lives.
• 13:47
  Speaker 2: Seven more to go.
• 13:49
  Speaker 3: Well, I think also the guest apps, which do seem
• 13:51
  Speaker 3: to be very popular on YouTube, they might go in
• 13:54
  Speaker 3: full some other time.
• 13:55
  Speaker 2: Those 30 people are going to be stoked.
• 13:57
  Speaker 1: But it will.
• 13:59
  Speaker 3: Be a no-frills version, a very unedited.
• 14:02
  Speaker 2: Which people I kind of like that because although do I?
• 14:05
  Speaker 1: I say a lot of stuff that shouldn't be on
• 14:08
  Speaker 1: the internet. As long as we take out all the
• 14:09
  Speaker 1: offensive remarks that we make, I'm all for it.
• 14:11
  Speaker 2: Oh, no, I'm happy for that to stay. I just
• 14:14
  Speaker 2: don't want to be too sentimental off camera. Anyway, YouTube.
• 14:18
  Speaker 2: So it's staying.
• 14:19
  Speaker 1: That's it. Moving on. I have a message here from Devika.
• 14:23
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 14:24
  Speaker 1: She says, OMFG, it's me.
• 14:27
  Speaker 2: Oh, we did say that.
• 14:28
  Speaker 1: Was it Devika?
• 14:29
  Speaker 3: It was when you were talking about Deb and then
• 14:32
  Speaker 3: you changed Deb's name to Devika. And then she's like, my.
• 14:35
  Speaker 2: Name is actually that.
• 14:36
  Speaker 1: She's like, speaking, me, hello.
• 14:38
  Speaker 2: She was like, someone's calling me.
• 14:41
  Speaker 1: I don't remember sending in a message.
• 14:43
  Speaker 2: So this is off the back of Jerika. That's her name, Jerika.
• 14:47
  Speaker 2: I didn't mispronounce that. It's what I like to call, Matt,
• 14:51
  Speaker 2: a rolling joke. Has no end.
• 14:54
  Speaker 1: And it's about to keep on rolling. It's about to
• 14:55
  Speaker 1: keep on rolling. So shout out to Devika.
• 14:59
  Speaker 2: Because it was Deborah and I was like, are you
• 15:01
  Speaker 2: sure that's correct? Devrika, I can't remember. Devrika, that's it.
• 15:05
  Speaker 1: She said, yes, I've been called every possible variation of this.
• 15:09
  Speaker 1: Loki was flipping out hearing the pod say my name, well,
• 15:12
  Speaker 1: close to my name, 50 times.
• 15:14
  Speaker 2: Wow.
• 15:15
  Speaker 3: Wow.
• 15:15
  Speaker 2: It's funny how the world works, isn't it?
• 15:17
  Speaker 1: Isn't it?
• 15:17
  Speaker 2: It just, what do you call that?
• 15:19
  Speaker 1: Coincidence? Coincidence.
• 15:21
  Speaker 2: I think it's more than that.
• 15:22
  Speaker 1: I'm not very woo-woo. Right, it's fate.
• 15:24
  Speaker 2: That's a bit too woo-woo for me.
• 15:25
  Speaker 1: But Jerika, Jerika who is real.
• 15:28
  Speaker 2: She's the OG.
• 15:29
  Speaker 1: She's the OG. Also, we'll say shout out to Donna,
• 15:33
  Speaker 1: who is actually the OG. Oh, sorry. Donna was like,
• 15:36
  Speaker 1: when are you fuckers going to say my name?
• 15:37
  Speaker 2: Yeah, Donna's too IC. She's too second in charge of.
• 15:41
  Speaker 2: The dotas. First in charge is us collectively.
• 15:43
  Speaker 1: Donna, we love you.
• 15:43
  Speaker 2: Well, actually, it's Vicks in charge.
• 15:45
  Speaker 1: Yeah, three IC. Anyway.
• 15:47
  Speaker 2: She's a four IC.
• 15:48
  Speaker 1: But we've got Jerrica. I've managed to track down a number.
• 15:52
  Speaker 2: Wait, we've got Jerrica?
• 15:53
  Speaker 1: I've got Jerrica.
• 15:54
  Speaker 2: Shut up.
• 15:56
  Speaker 1: She's flagging us.
• 15:57
  Speaker 4: Hello.
• 15:59
  Speaker 1: Would that happen to be Jerrica?
• 16:02
  Speaker 4: Is it ever?
• 16:02
  Speaker 2: Yeah! That's amazing.
• 16:07
  Speaker 1: It should exist.
• 16:08
  Speaker 2: It exists.
• 16:10
  Speaker 4: How are you guys?
• 16:11
  Speaker 3: Good.
• 16:11
  Speaker 2: First of all, Jerika, I just want to say I'm sorry.
• 16:15
  Speaker 1: Also, thank you. Any comment that we make is only
• 16:23
  Speaker 1: because we love you.
• 16:24
  Speaker 2: It's fine.
• 16:25
  Speaker 4: There's zero hard feelings.
• 16:27
  Speaker 2: Okay. Can we talk about your name, Jerika? Of course.
• 16:31
  Speaker 1: Because I have never heard the name Jerika.
• 16:34
  Speaker 2: I've heard Jessica, but Jerika is one that I have,
• 16:38
  Speaker 2: it's eluded me until now.
• 16:40
  Speaker 4: Yeah, well, I've only ever met one other.
• 16:44
  Speaker 2: Were you looking in the mirror?
• 16:46
  Speaker 4: It was a really awkward conversation because we kind of
• 16:49
  Speaker 4: had this like, oh, wow.
• 16:51
  Speaker 1: This rumour big enough for the both of us.
• 16:53
  Speaker 2: Yeah, there's only one, there's only one, one Jerrica.
• 16:56
  Speaker 4: Literally. But yeah, so it comes from a book that
• 16:59
  Speaker 4: my mum was reading while she was pregnant with me.
• 17:02
  Speaker 2: Oh, right on Bookly too.
• 17:04
  Speaker 4: Yeah, exactly. It all just fits in perfectly, doesn't it?
• 17:07
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 17:08
  Speaker 4: Don't really know what the story was about. It was
• 17:13
  Speaker 4: something about cavemen and like..
• 17:16
  Speaker 2: Oh, nice.
• 17:17
  Speaker 4: Yeah. So I didn't want to delve too deeply.
• 17:20
  Speaker 2: Imagine finding out all these years later that it was
• 17:22
  Speaker 2: just a spelling mistake in that book.
• 17:24
  Speaker 1: No.
• 17:25
  Speaker 2: They were just like, damn it.
• 17:27
  Speaker 1: Ash, this is a beautiful name which has been..
• 17:30
  Speaker 2: I know, I know, but it's quite unique.
• 17:32
  Speaker 1: I thought you were going to say, imagine if the
• 17:33
  Speaker 1: book was like a bit of a saucy little book.
• 17:35
  Speaker 2: Like Fifty Shades.
• 17:36
  Speaker 4: That's right.
• 17:37
  Speaker 1: Fifty Shades of Jericho. I was going to ask if
• 17:40
  Speaker 1: it was like a cultural, no, it's no affiliation.
• 17:44
  Speaker 3: No.
• 17:44
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 17:45
  Speaker 4: Nothing.
• 17:45
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 17:46
  Speaker 1: Can I ask your full name, Jerrica, if I may?
• 17:50
  Speaker 4: Yeah. So my surname is actually my married name, but
• 17:54
  Speaker 4: obviously it looks like it's Saws, S-A-W-E-R-S. It's actually pronounced Sears.
• 18:01
  Speaker 1: Sears?
• 18:01
  Speaker 2: Jerrica Sears.
• 18:03
  Speaker 1: That is a fucking good name. That's solid.
• 18:06
  Speaker 2: Yes.
• 18:08
  Speaker 1: Like are you a CEO or something?
• 18:10
  Speaker 2: No, I'm a nurse.
• 18:11
  Speaker 1: You are?
• 18:12
  Speaker 2: Are you the CEO of all the nurses? No. Well,
• 18:15
  Speaker 2: you should be.
• 18:18
  Speaker 4: Look, I'd be happy for the promotion.
• 18:20
  Speaker 2: Okay. Well, if anything's wrong with you, go and see
• 18:23
  Speaker 2: Jerrica and put in a good word.
• 18:25
  Speaker 4: I'll get them to call you guys for the reference check.
• 18:28
  Speaker 3: Yeah, please.
• 18:29
  Speaker 2: I wouldn't do that.
• 18:30
  Speaker 1: Out of interest, Jerrica, how did you find us?
• 18:33
  Speaker 2: So I've actually been following Ash for a long time
• 18:37
  Speaker 2: from the towelhead days. Still going. Still going strong. I've
• 18:41
  Speaker 2: got nothing else.
• 18:42
  Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah. Yeah, time for some new gear, right?
• 18:46
  Speaker 1: April's going to be real upset.
• 18:51
  Speaker 2: Yeah. No, no.
• 18:53
  Speaker 4: And then, yeah, I obviously came across the pod just
• 18:56
  Speaker 4: through following Ash and then get on to you, Maddie.
• 18:59
  Speaker 4: And I basically.
• 19:01
  Speaker 3: Binged your whole podcast in my very early postpartum days
• 19:06
  Speaker 3: with my eldest son.
• 19:09
  Speaker 2: What's his name?
• 19:10
  Speaker 4: Saved me. He's Hunter. So he's nearly two.
• 19:13
  Speaker 1: Can you spell that for us?
• 19:18
  Speaker 4: Yeah, and then I've got another little boy, Luca.
• 19:20
  Speaker 2: Oh, amazing. Congratulations.
• 19:22
  Speaker 1: Thank you for being a dota.
• 19:24
  Speaker 4: Of course.
• 19:25
  Speaker 1: Please know that any time we say your name, it
• 19:28
  Speaker 1: is only said with love.
• 19:30
  Speaker 6: Oh, yeah.
• 19:30
  Speaker 4: Oh, I know. I feel the love all the time.
• 19:32
  Speaker 4: It's all right.
• 19:32
  Speaker 2: Oh, awesome. Thank you so much.
• 19:34
  Speaker 4: No, thank you guys just for, you know, everything that
• 19:37
  Speaker 4: you do. You do a lot of good. So keep going, please.
• 19:41
  Speaker 1: Just checking, are you still listening at this stage?
• 19:46
  Speaker 4: Sure am. I'm up to date.
• 19:48
  Speaker 1: Okay, great. Do you prefer the lols or do you
• 19:52
  Speaker 1: prefer the more serious topics out of interest?
• 19:55
  Speaker 4: I don't know, actually. I love the lols.
• 19:57
  Speaker 2: Thank you.
• 19:58
  Speaker 4: I love the lols. They are what saved me in
• 20:00
  Speaker 4: my first postpartum journey.
• 20:02
  Speaker 2: Oh, wow.
• 20:03
  Speaker 1: What happened?
• 20:04
  Speaker 2: Do tell.
• 20:04
  Speaker 4: Oh, you know, it's just the first-time mum stuff, right?
• 20:09
  Speaker 4: It's rough. It's like the biggest shock to the system ever.
• 20:12
  Speaker 2: Yeah. It's nice to have a couple of lols.
• 20:14
  Speaker 4: And I had a whole child that didn't sleep and,
• 20:16
  Speaker 4: you know.
• 20:17
  Speaker 1: I feel that.
• 20:18
  Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, yeah. The Dr. Goalie episodes really just, you know,
• 20:21
  Speaker 4: bring it all back. But that's fine. It's good.
• 20:24
  Speaker 1: Have you left this as a review or...? Okay, great.
• 20:30
  Speaker 1: You're off the hook then. Not to turn this into
• 20:32
  Speaker 1: a business call.
• 20:33
  Speaker 3: I know.
• 20:33
  Speaker 2: He's like, are you happy to commit right now? Is
• 20:37
  Speaker 2: it me, the show, or something we haven't mentioned yet? No.
• 20:39
  Speaker 1: Well, I'm glad we could help out.
• 20:41
  Speaker 3: Yeah, no, it's been great, guys.
• 20:43
  Speaker 4: It's really good.
• 20:44
  Speaker 2: It brings me lots of joy.
• 20:46
  Speaker 1: Well, you're welcome. You deserve it.
• 20:48
  Speaker 4: Thank you.
• 20:48
  Speaker 2: If you don't mind, where are you located? What part
• 20:51
  Speaker 2: of the country?
• 20:52
  Speaker 4: I'm just south of Wollongong.
• 20:54
  Speaker 1: Oh, lovely.
• 20:55
  Speaker 2: Shell Harbour?
• 20:56
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 20:57
  Speaker 2: Okay. Lovely spot.
• 20:58
  Speaker 1: Ash knew that already, by the way. I don't know
• 21:03
  Speaker 1: what you're talking about.
• 21:05
  Speaker 4: I call myself a stalker.
• 21:06
  Speaker 2: Cool. Yeah, I'm in the bushes.
• 21:10
  Speaker 1: Jerika, lovely to talk to you.
• 21:12
  Speaker 4: Yeah, you too. Enjoy your day, guys.
• 21:13
  Speaker 2: You too.
• 21:14
  Speaker 1: See you.
• 21:14
  Speaker 3: Bye.
• 21:15
  Speaker 4: Thanks.
• 21:15
  Speaker 2: Bye. Oh, it's nice to put a voice to the night.
• 21:17
  Speaker 2: She's lovely.
• 21:18
  Speaker 1: Isn't she just divine?
• 21:20
  Speaker 2: She is a flat-out Jerika, and I love it.
• 21:23
  Speaker 1: I think I speak on behalf of all of the
• 21:25
  Speaker 1: country when I say people from Wollongong, What a town.
• 21:28
  Speaker 2: It's all over the earth.
• 21:29
  Speaker 1: What a suburb. Yeah.
• 21:31
  Speaker 2: It's a great spot. Beautiful spot. Shout out to my
• 21:33
  Speaker 2: tattoo artist who's also in Wollongong.
• 21:35
  Speaker 1: Shout out to Laura's family. Kim? Kim. Shout out to Kim.
• 21:39
  Speaker 2: Fuck, I'm good.
• 21:40
  Speaker 1: Very good.
• 21:40
  Speaker 2: Very good. Matt, I think it's time for this.
• 21:45
  Speaker 6: Now you need us more than ever. Know that we
• 21:49
  Speaker 6: still have each other. You can send us your doting dilemma.
• 21:53
  Speaker 6: You can send us your doting dilemma.
• 21:56
  Speaker 2: Ella, Ella, Ella, Ella, doting dilemma. Matt, this is the
• 22:01
  Speaker 2: segment where our beloved doters, much like Jerrica, write in
• 22:06
  Speaker 2: any problems that they have that they would love two
• 22:08
  Speaker 2: silly dads to talk about. Thoughts? Great. All right, do
• 22:15
  Speaker 2: you want to go first? You go first because it
• 22:17
  Speaker 2: is book week and you're a great reader.
• 22:18
  Speaker 1: No, the first one's a short one. You take the
• 22:20
  Speaker 1: first one.
• 22:21
  Speaker 2: Don't undermine me like that. This is from Anon.
• 22:22
  Speaker 1: I like your jersey.
• 22:24
  Speaker 2: Thank you. Do you know how long it took this
• 22:26
  Speaker 2: jersey to come from the UK here?
• 22:28
  Speaker 1: Sorry. Vic. This is very important. Let me be me.
• 22:32
  Speaker 1: This is very important. I wasn't shaking my head at you.
• 22:35
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you were. Okay, this is from Anonymous. I appreciate
• 22:39
  Speaker 2: the anonymousness. Wow, I got that out. Is it okay
• 22:43
  Speaker 2: to ask another parent to swear in front of your kids?
• 22:46
  Speaker 1: To not.
• 22:47
  Speaker 2: I was going to say. My next question was going
• 22:52
  Speaker 2: to be, why? See, this is what I mean, Vic. Okay.
• 22:58
  Speaker 2: It's funny. You love taking love at my expense. She's
• 23:02
  Speaker 2: crying over here. Anyway, that smacks it now. All right.
• 23:06
  Speaker 1: This is my kid, Marley. Swear. Swear it out. Fuck you.
• 23:12
  Speaker 2: This is from Anonymous. Is it okay to ask another
• 23:15
  Speaker 2: parent not to swear in front of your kids? We
• 23:19
  Speaker 2: had some friends and their kids over for dinner the
• 23:21
  Speaker 2: other night. The dad kept dropping F-bombs with our kids there.
• 23:26
  Speaker 2: My husband at one stage interrupted him and asked.
• 23:29
  Speaker 1: Think that is absolutely perfect behavior.
• 23:33
  Speaker 2: Yeah in your own home yeah i think i think
• 23:35
  Speaker 2: you can ask if it's excessive and it's quite and
• 23:39
  Speaker 2: anyone could pick up and hear it if it's if
• 23:41
  Speaker 2: we're just having a conversation i'm like this fucking guy
• 23:42
  Speaker 2: anyway fine okay but also what are you talking about
• 23:46
  Speaker 2: so secretly anyway i think it's fine as long as
• 23:50
  Speaker 2: it's it's not like hey can you not fucking swear
• 23:53
  Speaker 2: in front of my kids like if you're like hey
• 23:55
  Speaker 2: uh we're just trying to swear around the kids fine
• 23:57
  Speaker 2: no problems there Whenever.
• 23:58
  Speaker 1: You say any swear word, you're always going to say, oh, sorry.
• 24:01
  Speaker 2: And that's what I do because I don't.
• 24:04
  Speaker 1: Oh, did that come out?
• 24:05
  Speaker 2: I don't like, look, I'll be try and be as
• 24:08
  Speaker 2: mindful as possible. But I've been swearing for 36 years.
• 24:11
  Speaker 2: It's really hard.
• 24:13
  Speaker 1: Muscle memory.
• 24:13
  Speaker 2: I've already quit drinking.
• 24:14
  Speaker 1: What else do you want me to give up?
• 24:17
  Speaker 2: Fuck, I feel like a cigarette now. I do notice
• 24:21
  Speaker 2: myself when I accidentally slip out.
• 24:22
  Speaker 1: Have you been told off by another parent before?
• 24:25
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I got told off. I did tell this story
• 24:27
  Speaker 2: where Macy was quite young and a kid threw a
• 24:30
  Speaker 2: block in a pub player pen. That's right. And I
• 24:33
  Speaker 2: told him to fuck off. And he went and got
• 24:35
  Speaker 2: his dad who happened to be a massive bikey. And
• 24:37
  Speaker 2: he was like, he saw me with Macy and how small,
• 24:40
  Speaker 2: saw the blocks everywhere and realized what, you know, put
• 24:42
  Speaker 2: two and two together, a mature man, some would say.
• 24:45
  Speaker 1: Not often you find a reasonable bikey.
• 24:47
  Speaker 2: He was very reasonable. We'll catch up after this. And
• 24:50
  Speaker 2: he came over, saw that and said to me, hey,
• 24:54
  Speaker 2: I'm okay with you telling my kid off.
• 24:55
  Speaker 1: That's fine.
• 24:55
  Speaker 2: But just no language. And I said, look, I'm really sorry.
• 24:58
  Speaker 2: I've got a six month old kid here that a
• 25:00
  Speaker 2: block was, it was just a knee jerk reaction. So
• 25:02
  Speaker 2: I appreciate anyone that would say, I wouldn't take offense
• 25:05
  Speaker 2: to anyone saying, can you just mind your language? Because
• 25:07
  Speaker 2: I think that's so polite to say, hey, do you
• 25:09
  Speaker 2: mind minding your language? If you're going to say it nicely,
• 25:13
  Speaker 2: for sure. If you're going to be a dickhead about it,
• 25:15
  Speaker 2: then I'm going to be a dickhead back.
• 25:16
  Speaker 1: I have been too scared to tell someone to stop swearing.
• 25:19
  Speaker 3: Really? Oh.
• 25:20
  Speaker 1: I was at football.
• 25:21
  Speaker 2: Was it me? Don't be scared. I don't bite.
• 25:25
  Speaker 1: No, I was at the football. And it's hard when
• 25:27
  Speaker 1: you're in a public environment. Yeah, it's a tricky one.
• 25:30
  Speaker 1: That's not child-specific.
• 25:32
  Speaker 2: Football's a tricky one.
• 25:33
  Speaker 1: Like if you're at the playground where it's like, okay,
• 25:35
  Speaker 1: this is obviously an area for kids, then you can
• 25:37
  Speaker 1: kind of be like, hey, man, just watch the swearing.
• 25:40
  Speaker 1: There's lots of kids around. But when you're at the
• 25:41
  Speaker 1: football and people are having a good time, And they
• 25:44
  Speaker 1: were Canberra supporters. You know what Canberra people are like.
• 25:48
  Speaker 2: We're off to Canberra next week, so let's not.
• 25:51
  Speaker 1: Canberrians.
• 25:52
  Speaker 2: Where were they from?
• 25:53
  Speaker 1: Wagga Wagga.
• 25:54
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 25:56
  Speaker 1: And they were losing the game and they were swearing
• 25:58
  Speaker 1: quite a bit and my kids were like, wow, Dad,
• 26:00
  Speaker 1: they're saying fuck a lot. And I was like, should I?
• 26:03
  Speaker 1: I don't want to.
• 26:04
  Speaker 2: In that environment it's tricky because you are at a
• 26:07
  Speaker 2: football game and people are passionate. Yes, it's like.
• 26:09
  Speaker 1: And they were much bigger than me.
• 26:10
  Speaker 2: That too. But, like, I think, I know when we
• 26:15
  Speaker 2: go to the football and stuff, like, Oscar's so used
• 26:17
  Speaker 2: to it anyway, but there's no harm in pre-warning a kid.
• 26:19
  Speaker 2: It's like, look, you're going to hear some passionate people
• 26:22
  Speaker 2: maybe drop some words, some naughty words. Let's just ignore them.
• 26:25
  Speaker 1: But if I tell them off, I would approach it
• 26:27
  Speaker 1: as in like, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. Shut the fuck up. Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.
• 26:30
  Speaker 1: Could you just mind if you just, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.
• 26:32
  Speaker 1: Please don't swear.
• 26:33
  Speaker 2: That's so millennial of you.
• 26:34
  Speaker 1: Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. Have a
• 26:36
  Speaker 1: good time, sorry.
• 26:36
  Speaker 2: I open the door for people and say sorry. It's
• 26:40
  Speaker 2: so millennial of us. But it would be my mum.
• 26:42
  Speaker 2: She would be like, my mum is the perfect staunch
• 26:45
  Speaker 2: that generation where she would be like, do not swear
• 26:48
  Speaker 2: in front of children like that. So when I drop
• 26:50
  Speaker 2: the F-bomb in front of my mum, she's like, do
• 26:52
  Speaker 2: you have to swear so much?
• 26:54
  Speaker 1: My mum did tell me. She wasn't there, but at
• 26:57
  Speaker 1: a school meeting, they had the principal, the teachers, and
• 27:00
  Speaker 1: the parents. And the principal, very senior role, he was
• 27:04
  Speaker 1: a bit of a swearer. And midway through his speech
• 27:08
  Speaker 1: to the parents, with the teachers in attendance, one of
• 27:11
  Speaker 1: the parents stood up and said, do you mind not
• 27:13
  Speaker 1: swearing there are women present? I was like, whoa. How's
• 27:16
  Speaker 1: the balls on that person?
• 27:18
  Speaker 2: I know.
• 27:19
  Speaker 1: Wow. Like, you know, what a brave man.
• 27:22
  Speaker 2: That kid was expelled.
• 27:23
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 27:26
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I think if it's... With no kids present, wow. Yeah,
• 27:30
  Speaker 2: I think if it's a kid's appropriate environment, like a playground,
• 27:36
  Speaker 2: have that conversation.
• 27:38
  Speaker 1: But imagine someone..
• 27:38
  Speaker 2: But at the football you can't really..
• 27:40
  Speaker 1: Imagine the school assembly.
• 27:42
  Speaker 2: A school assembly and there's no kids there. Mate, swear away.
• 27:46
  Speaker 3: Just bringing it back to the specific dilemma though.
• 27:50
  Speaker 1: Oh, sorry.
• 27:51
  Speaker 3: If you were invited over to a friend's house for
• 27:53
  Speaker 3: dinner and you were swearing... How would you feel if,
• 27:56
  Speaker 3: just say you're invited to Matt's house, you're swearing in
• 27:59
  Speaker 3: front of his kids, and Matt says, hey, can you
• 28:02
  Speaker 3: stop swearing in front of the kids?
• 28:03
  Speaker 2: You have told me that, but I was on loudspeaker
• 28:05
  Speaker 2: in the car.
• 28:06
  Speaker 1: Oh, yeah, I've been like, oh, actually, yeah.
• 28:07
  Speaker 2: I'm like, fucking hell.
• 28:09
  Speaker 5: But for dinner?
• 28:09
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 28:10
  Speaker 3: Like you've been invited into someone else's house?
• 28:13
  Speaker 2: I think for me personally, I'm mature enough not to
• 28:15
  Speaker 2: be dropping the F-bomb and dropping stuff like that in
• 28:18
  Speaker 2: that situation, right?
• 28:19
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 28:20
  Speaker 2: But if... I think if it's with the earshot of
• 28:22
  Speaker 2: the kids and they're blatantly and not even trying to
• 28:26
  Speaker 2: be like, oh, shit, sorry, because it happens, then I
• 28:28
  Speaker 2: might say, hey, look, the kids can hear. Swear away, sailor,
• 28:32
  Speaker 2: but just drop the volume a bit. I think there's
• 28:34
  Speaker 2: no problem with that. If you want to get offended
• 28:36
  Speaker 2: with that, then you're not welcome in my house, so
• 28:37
  Speaker 2: get the fuck out.
• 28:38
  Speaker 1: There he is. Now, this one is also from Anon.
• 28:40
  Speaker 1: So many Anons this week.
• 28:42
  Speaker 2: It's a popular name.
• 28:43
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I wonder where it's from.
• 28:44
  Speaker 2: Well, I should bring Jerrica back up and.
• 28:46
  Speaker 1: See if she might know. But it was in the
• 28:48
  Speaker 1: Life Uncut. I don't know if you've heard of that podcast.
• 28:50
  Speaker 2: Small indie podcast.
• 28:51
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 28:52
  Speaker 2: Look, they could really use your support, but don't. Actually, don't.
• 28:55
  Speaker 1: I wouldn't. It's not that good.
• 28:56
  Speaker 2: Actually, last week's episode, Friday, it's a really good one.
• 28:59
  Speaker 2: There's a guy on there from this podcast, this amazing
• 29:01
  Speaker 2: podcast called Two Dirty Dads. It's not me. And it's
• 29:03
  Speaker 2: not you.
• 29:04
  Speaker 1: It's not Vic.
• 29:05
  Speaker 2: It's not Vic.
• 29:06
  Speaker 1: It's Ash.
• 29:06
  Speaker 2: It's me.
• 29:07
  Speaker 1: This one kicked off. I want to get your take
• 29:09
  Speaker 1: on it, Mr. Wicks, Mr. Wigglesworth. I've got a friend
• 29:13
  Speaker 1: with similar age kids to me. The thing is, over
• 29:16
  Speaker 1: the last two years, her kids have made my kids
• 29:19
  Speaker 1: sick multiple times. In brackets, hand, foot, and mouth, conjunctivitis, gastro.
• 29:24
  Speaker 1: We catch up, and she doesn't say that her kids
• 29:27
  Speaker 1: are unwell, only that they are in the tail end
• 29:29
  Speaker 1: of sickness, like once the kids are already playing.
• 29:32
  Speaker 2: That's too late.
• 29:33
  Speaker 1: Each time this has happened, I've had to take multiple
• 29:35
  Speaker 1: days off work to care for my kids. I ran
• 29:38
  Speaker 1: into her, unplanted. and our kids started playing and after
• 29:41
  Speaker 1: talking for about 10 minutes, she dropped the fact that
• 29:44
  Speaker 1: her child had been very unwell with croup and has
• 29:47
  Speaker 1: been coughing everywhere. She's a fairly close friend and I
• 29:50
  Speaker 1: do catch up with her regularly. We just seem to
• 29:53
  Speaker 1: have differing opinions on sick kids. Would you say something
• 29:57
  Speaker 1: and how? She can be very sensitive and hurt easily,
• 30:00
  Speaker 1: and I don't want to do that, but also it's
• 30:01
  Speaker 1: not fun having sick kids, especially when a catch-up could
• 30:05
  Speaker 1: just be postponed.
• 30:08
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 30:10
  Speaker 2: Look, I think it's polite to say if your kid's sick,
• 30:14
  Speaker 2: like if you're out, because the kids go crazy at home.
• 30:17
  Speaker 2: If you're out at the park and you run into
• 30:18
  Speaker 2: someone and the kids start playing without you even noticing,
• 30:22
  Speaker 2: and then you go, oh, just so you know, I
• 30:24
  Speaker 2: think that's a mistake. Get back, Billy! Yeah, I would
• 30:27
  Speaker 2: be like..
• 30:28
  Speaker 1: She's diseased!
• 30:29
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I'd be like..
• 30:29
  Speaker 1: Fucking get a stick and beat her down. Quick, run
• 30:34
  Speaker 1: back home!
• 30:35
  Speaker 2: Go back where it's safe! I think it's a bit
• 30:39
  Speaker 2: shitty to just know your kid's sick and just let
• 30:42
  Speaker 2: them be out within all the other kids, especially when
• 30:45
  Speaker 2: it's like this person has to take time off work
• 30:48
  Speaker 2: because your kid's sick.
• 30:49
  Speaker 1: It sucks.
• 30:50
  Speaker 2: It's like, look, if my kid got sick because of
• 30:53
  Speaker 2: your kid, if you just said, hey, look, we're a
• 30:55
  Speaker 2: bit unwell, we probably should have... Let's do a play
• 30:57
  Speaker 2: date next week. There is nothing wrong with that whatsoever.
• 31:00
  Speaker 2: I think you being like, oh, you're better off hiding
• 31:04
  Speaker 2: that they were ever sick if you're going to do
• 31:06
  Speaker 2: that because... You're better at letting him play and not
• 31:08
  Speaker 2: saying anything than letting him play for 10 minutes and go, oh,
• 31:10
  Speaker 2: by the way.
• 31:11
  Speaker 1: He's got bird flu.
• 31:12
  Speaker 2: He's got bird flu. That's what they're supposed to do.
• 31:14
  Speaker 1: There he is.
• 31:16
  Speaker 2: What's wrong with some honesty?
• 31:17
  Speaker 1: Or hide it.
• 31:22
  Speaker 2: I think go both ends, but no, go in the middle.
• 31:25
  Speaker 1: I have been guilty. Friends of ours recently had a
• 31:28
  Speaker 1: newborn child and I was like, oh, I cannot wait
• 31:32
  Speaker 1: to come over with the kids and we can meet
• 31:34
  Speaker 1: your new child. And I was like, because, you know,
• 31:37
  Speaker 1: we've also had this fucking run of gastro in the house.
• 31:39
  Speaker 1: But anyway, we'll come over tomorrow at 12 o'clock. And
• 31:41
  Speaker 1: they were like, um. No. Just maybe we give it
• 31:44
  Speaker 1: another week. And I was like, I just completely was
• 31:48
  Speaker 1: oblivious just to the fact. I just thought we should
• 31:49
  Speaker 1: all be.
• 31:50
  Speaker 2: Gastro killer baby, bro. Also, like, you're very different to me.
• 31:55
  Speaker 2: If someone's had a baby, I'm like, well, I'm not
• 31:57
  Speaker 2: seeing them for ages. Because I've seen babies before.
• 32:00
  Speaker 1: Oh, I'm going to see. What have we got here?
• 32:02
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 32:03
  Speaker 1: What's the weight of it?
• 32:05
  Speaker 2: You could use some gastro and wave it at the kids.
• 32:07
  Speaker 1: But I wasn't offended when they were like, hey, is
• 32:09
  Speaker 1: that cool if we just give it a week if
• 32:10
  Speaker 1: you're sick? And I was like, oh, my fucking gosh,
• 32:13
  Speaker 1: I'm so sorry.
• 32:14
  Speaker 2: If they're going to be.
• 32:15
  Speaker 1: I'm not trying to take down your newborn child.
• 32:17
  Speaker 2: If they're going to get defensive about that, I think
• 32:19
  Speaker 2: there's more of a deeper problem than just the kid
• 32:22
  Speaker 2: being sick. If you're going to get upset and offended
• 32:24
  Speaker 2: by someone saying, hey, your kid is sick. I don't
• 32:27
  Speaker 2: want my kids to get sick because it'll bring the
• 32:29
  Speaker 2: whole house down. We're really busy. I can't, I can't
• 32:31
  Speaker 2: afford to do that.
• 32:32
  Speaker 1: And it fucking sucks. Like Poppy had a little run
• 32:35
  Speaker 1: where she just was sick after week after week and
• 32:37
  Speaker 1: she would get over and then we'll pick it up
• 32:39
  Speaker 1: from someone else. And she was just so snotty and
• 32:42
  Speaker 1: it just parenting is hard. What makes it harder as
• 32:45
  Speaker 1: a sick child?
• 32:46
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 32:47
  Speaker 1: You know, we had to have the cot like propped
• 32:50
  Speaker 1: up on an angle because she was just so much mucus.
• 32:52
  Speaker 1: Every time she'd go to sleep, she'd be like.
• 32:54
  Speaker 2: They need like a mucus vac over them the whole time.
• 32:57
  Speaker 1: Yeah, the mucus sucker.
• 32:59
  Speaker 4: They hate that.
• 33:00
  Speaker 5: The snot sucker.
• 33:00
  Speaker 1: The snot sucker.
• 33:02
  Speaker 2: Oh. How much do you..
• 33:03
  Speaker 5: I still threaten Lily with the snot sucker.
• 33:05
  Speaker 2: Do you still have one?
• 33:06
  Speaker 1: No, but because she's... She thinks you do though.
• 33:08
  Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 33:09
  Speaker 3: Because she won't blow her nose and I'm like, I'll
• 33:11
  Speaker 3: get the snot sucker.
• 33:12
  Speaker 2: There she is. That's good gear.
• 33:14
  Speaker 1: I think, and even if you are really sensitive, I
• 33:17
  Speaker 1: think surely you would understand if a parent said, I'm
• 33:20
  Speaker 1: so sorry, we've just had back-to-back illnesses, is that cool
• 33:24
  Speaker 1: if we take a rain check? Even if you're just
• 33:26
  Speaker 1: meeting up at the park and she's like, oh, by
• 33:28
  Speaker 1: the way, Billy's got 12 cold sores on his face,
• 33:30
  Speaker 1: you'd be like..
• 33:31
  Speaker 2: He's got a sexually transmitted disease.
• 33:35
  Speaker 1: Sorry.
• 33:36
  Speaker 2: I was going to say, if you're getting offended over that,
• 33:39
  Speaker 2: what's your argument there if you're getting offended? The argument
• 33:43
  Speaker 2: for the person who's not sick, who doesn't want to
• 33:45
  Speaker 2: come in contact, it's so solid. It's rock solid. I've
• 33:48
  Speaker 2: got to take time off work. The kid's got to
• 33:50
  Speaker 2: be home all the time. I don't have enough sick
• 33:53
  Speaker 2: leave left anymore because you keep putting your snotty fucking
• 33:55
  Speaker 2: kids near mine. You're not going to come over and
• 33:58
  Speaker 2: look after my kid. It's so concrete, the argument, that
• 34:01
  Speaker 2: if that person's going to get really so upset about
• 34:04
  Speaker 2: it that you can wait a week, I think there's
• 34:07
  Speaker 2: something much deeper to hear that that person needs to address.
• 34:11
  Speaker 2: And I would say that, I would say, look, if
• 34:13
  Speaker 2: your kid's sick all the time, fine, and I'm happy
• 34:16
  Speaker 2: to help you out and see you and I want
• 34:18
  Speaker 2: to see you and I want to be friends, but
• 34:19
  Speaker 2: just be mindful of everyone else.
• 34:21
  Speaker 1: Amen, brother.
• 34:22
  Speaker 2: I also don't, if my kid gets sick off the
• 34:24
  Speaker 2: back of, playing with other families and it's like sometimes
• 34:28
  Speaker 2: your kid is infectious without even being sick i'm not
• 34:31
  Speaker 2: the sort of person to be like your kid made
• 34:33
  Speaker 2: my kid sick i just my kid's sick now right
• 34:36
  Speaker 2: i have seen it before where it's like if people
• 34:37
  Speaker 2: are whinged to me once before it's like that guy's
• 34:40
  Speaker 2: kid made my kid sick it's like well no that's
• 34:42
  Speaker 2: not fair unless they're Actually sick Right there Yeah.
• 34:46
  Speaker 1: I think you can't You can't after the fact Start
• 34:48
  Speaker 1: accusing That sucks And be like That's worse I reckon
• 34:52
  Speaker 1: that's worse You're You're case zero Exactly It was you
• 34:56
  Speaker 1: You are The fucking one That's gonna get you Into
• 34:59
  Speaker 1: a real mess Oh absolutely If I was like Oh
• 35:02
  Speaker 1: hey Hey Sean how are you Like You fucking did it.
• 35:05
  Speaker 3: You did this.
• 35:05
  Speaker 1: Did what, Sean?
• 35:06
  Speaker 2: You did this to us.
• 35:07
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 35:07
  Speaker 2: Yeah. And, like, sometimes, especially with close friends, and our
• 35:13
  Speaker 2: kids play together all the time. They go to school
• 35:14
  Speaker 2: together and they get sick. It just happens, right? And
• 35:17
  Speaker 2: I'll always go to, like, Mike or something. I'll be like,
• 35:19
  Speaker 2: you did this to us. But it's a joke and
• 35:22
  Speaker 2: we're close friends, but he's not that sensitive.
• 35:24
  Speaker 1: Do you like my fake names that I've been putting in? Sean, Tim.
• 35:28
  Speaker 2: Well, Sean's actually a friend of mine, so it's Tim.
• 35:30
  Speaker 1: So your friends are like, ah!
• 35:32
  Speaker 2: Yeah, Mike, Sean and Tim, all part of the same class. Literally. Literally,
• 35:37
  Speaker 2: my kid, Mike's kid, Sean's kid and Tim's kid are
• 35:42
  Speaker 2: all in the same class.
• 35:43
  Speaker 1: Well, this is awkward. Hey, fellas.
• 35:46
  Speaker 2: Whoops. This is Danielle's dilemma.
• 35:51
  Speaker 1: Oh, that rolls off the tongue.
• 35:53
  Speaker 2: Dota Davika and Dota Daniela with a dilemma. Fuck, I'm good.
• 35:58
  Speaker 2: Do siblings get birthday presents too? My son is turning
• 36:02
  Speaker 2: two and is a dinosaur obsessed. Who isn't dinosaur obsessed
• 36:05
  Speaker 2: at two? I read a dinosaur book this morning.
• 36:06
  Speaker 1: Why do boys love dinosaurs so much?
• 36:08
  Speaker 2: I think just because they're like.
• 36:10
  Speaker 1: Dangerous.
• 36:10
  Speaker 2: They just like, like Oscar, they just bash everything around
• 36:13
  Speaker 2: the fucking house. If you had a pet dinosaur, that's
• 36:15
  Speaker 2: what would happen.
• 36:16
  Speaker 5: And the names are fun to pronounce.
• 36:17
  Speaker 2: No, they're not because I can't pronounce any of them
• 36:19
  Speaker 2: and people make fun of me for that.
• 36:20
  Speaker 1: Diplodocus.
• 36:21
  Speaker 2: Very good.
• 36:22
  Speaker 1: Thank you. What else you got? That's it.
• 36:23
  Speaker 2: Yeah, Steglosaurus. Is that right?
• 36:25
  Speaker 1: Stegles?
• 36:26
  Speaker 2: Was that chicken?
• 36:26
  Speaker 1: Chicken, yeah.
• 36:28
  Speaker 2: That's a chicken-dinosaur hybrid.
• 36:30
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 36:31
  Speaker 2: Dinosaur nugget.
• 36:33
  Speaker 1: Your brain.
• 36:35
  Speaker 2: What is going on? I went for a walk this morning.
• 36:38
  Speaker 4: That's it.
• 36:39
  Speaker 2: We'll talk about that on for the Wednesdays here. That's
• 36:41
  Speaker 2: a good shit there too. My son is turning two
• 36:43
  Speaker 2: and he's like, don't waffle.
• 36:46
  Speaker 1: Deborah's like, answer the question. Come on, please. Guys, I'm sorry.
• 36:51
  Speaker 1: I finished the washing.
• 36:52
  Speaker 4: I'm sorry.
• 36:54
  Speaker 2: I had to take an ADHD test this morning too,
• 36:55
  Speaker 2: which I'll talk to you about later. All right. We
• 37:04
  Speaker 2: don't have time for this one anymore. My son is
• 37:07
  Speaker 2: turning two and he's dinosaur obsessed and so is his
• 37:10
  Speaker 2: sister who's almost... I brought him one of those live
• 37:15
  Speaker 2: hatching dinosaur eggs for his birthday, and I just know
• 37:19
  Speaker 2: she is going to absolutely lose her mind when she
• 37:23
  Speaker 2: realizes it's not hers. What do you do with presents
• 37:26
  Speaker 2: and siblings at this age? Do I just give in
• 37:29
  Speaker 2: and buy her one too, even though they're bloody expensive?
• 37:33
  Speaker 2: Or is this a good time to try and teach
• 37:35
  Speaker 2: her that it's her brother's birthday and the presents are
• 37:38
  Speaker 2: for him? But also, how do you explain? This is
• 37:43
  Speaker 2: too Danielle.
• 37:45
  Speaker 1: It's a cheeky one, mate.
• 37:47
  Speaker 2: But also, how do you explain to a three-and-a-half-year-old I
• 37:49
  Speaker 2: thought she was four without any absolute meltdown? Yes, I'm
• 37:54
  Speaker 2: scared of my own daughter. Aren't we all? Please solve
• 37:57
  Speaker 2: my first world parenting dilemma before I end up with
• 38:00
  Speaker 2: two dinosaur eggs and significantly less money. Just go with
• 38:04
  Speaker 2: the significantly less money option by the sounds of things.
• 38:06
  Speaker 1: Just go. Just get a crate of eggs of the
• 38:09
  Speaker 1: dinosaur eggs.
• 38:10
  Speaker 2: One for every kid in the neighbourhood.
• 38:12
  Speaker 4: Five money bags.
• 38:13
  Speaker 2: Oh, yeah. Diversify with your eggs.
• 38:16
  Speaker 1: Oh, fuck you guys.
• 38:18
  Speaker 2: I've got an egg in every house. There's one in
• 38:20
  Speaker 2: every room.
• 38:20
  Speaker 3: She's just said it's fucking expensive.
• 38:23
  Speaker 1: It's an egg, guys.
• 38:24
  Speaker 2: My house is five bedroom, four bathroom and 12 eggs.
• 38:27
  Speaker 1: Actually, you know what you could do? Yeah, you could do.
• 38:30
  Speaker 2: Manufacture them yourself.
• 38:31
  Speaker 1: You could just buy some clay and then buy a
• 38:34
  Speaker 1: dinosaur and then just mould it in the shape of
• 38:36
  Speaker 1: an egg and let it dry.
• 38:36
  Speaker 2: Right after you've done your book week costume.
• 38:38
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 38:38
  Speaker 2: Okay, here we go because I did do this. Macy,
• 38:43
  Speaker 2: she's so sweet and I hate to upset her, but
• 38:46
  Speaker 2: unfortunately you've got to have boundaries.
• 38:48
  Speaker 5: And build resilience.
• 38:50
  Speaker 2: Don't care for that as much. Sorry, Vic, I do. Yeah, yes,
• 38:57
  Speaker 2: I apologise. I remember it was Oscar's birthday in June.
• 39:00
  Speaker 2: I remembered. And Macy's in November. And that's the thing.
• 39:03
  Speaker 2: It's quite a distance.
• 39:04
  Speaker 1: It's not like. Because they're like, when am I?
• 39:06
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah.
• 39:06
  Speaker 2: How many sleeps?
• 39:07
  Speaker 1: And I'm like.
• 39:12
  Speaker 2: Equals MC. 163.
• 39:15
  Speaker 1: I'm like, Oscar, you're at school. And they're like, so
• 39:17
  Speaker 1: next week? And you're like, no.
• 39:19
  Speaker 2: Oscar asked me when his birthday was the day after
• 39:21
  Speaker 2: his birthday. And I was like, it's a leap year.
• 39:25
  Speaker 2: He was like, the fuck is that? Anyway, so Macy,
• 39:29
  Speaker 2: I was like, hey, tomorrow it's Oscar's day. And I
• 39:33
  Speaker 2: was also like, but Oscar loves you. So he wants
• 39:35
  Speaker 2: you to be part of the day.
• 39:36
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 39:37
  Speaker 2: You're going to be in charge of giving him the
• 39:40
  Speaker 2: presents that we put out. And she was like, okay, yeah, sweet.
• 39:43
  Speaker 2: And thankfully Oscar was like, do you want to open
• 39:45
  Speaker 2: them with me? And that sort of- Because, I mean,
• 39:49
  Speaker 2: I think you don't need to get two. I think
• 39:51
  Speaker 2: you can say, look, it might be his egg, but
• 39:53
  Speaker 2: the egg's in the house now. Do you understand that?
• 39:55
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you'll get a turn.
• 39:56
  Speaker 2: Think of the psychology of the child here. You're going
• 39:59
  Speaker 2: to get a turn and then your birthday's going to
• 40:01
  Speaker 2: come around and you're going to get something else.
• 40:03
  Speaker 1: Like you're actually winning here. Yeah.
• 40:06
  Speaker 2: And then you can do the same switcheroo when the
• 40:08
  Speaker 2: other birthday comes and be like, You guys had so
• 40:11
  Speaker 2: much fun with the egg that's now at Vinny's or
• 40:13
  Speaker 2: in the bin. Now you've got this and you guys
• 40:15
  Speaker 2: are going to get to play together because it's like, yeah.
• 40:17
  Speaker 2: And I would say if I'm going to give advice, Matt, fuck.
• 40:20
  Speaker 1: I told you it would happen. I told you.
• 40:22
  Speaker 2: I am a big fan of getting the kids things
• 40:27
  Speaker 2: that they both can use for their birthday, right? So
• 40:30
  Speaker 2: Macy loves playing with her dollhouses, right? But then Oscar's
• 40:33
  Speaker 2: not a real big fan of that. But the dollhouse
• 40:36
  Speaker 2: also needs a car.
• 40:38
  Speaker 1: There he is.
• 40:38
  Speaker 2: Right?
• 40:39
  Speaker 3: There he is.
• 40:40
  Speaker 2: And, you know, if I buy a Lego car for
• 40:43
  Speaker 2: Oscar to build, he's also building it to go in
• 40:46
  Speaker 2: the garage of Macy's.
• 40:47
  Speaker 1: You're outsourcing as well.
• 40:48
  Speaker 2: Very good. I told you.
• 40:50
  Speaker 1: The weasel.
• 40:51
  Speaker 2: The innings I'm doing over here, I'm just flat batting
• 40:53
  Speaker 2: shit all over the fucking pitch here.
• 40:54
  Speaker 3: Well done.
• 40:55
  Speaker 1: Thank you.
• 40:55
  Speaker 2: I get a clap from Vic after I sassed her
• 40:58
  Speaker 2: as well. Must have been good.
• 41:00
  Speaker 1: As Jen Muir often says, fuck the kids.
• 41:03
  Speaker 4: I know.
• 41:04
  Speaker 2: It's actually on the front of her book.
• 41:05
  Speaker 1: She says that quite a lot. Each meltdown is a
• 41:08
  Speaker 1: lesson learned. She says something like that, I believe.
• 41:12
  Speaker 2: Something along those lines. Oh, yeah.
• 41:13
  Speaker 5: But I know you like to buy two presents.
• 41:16
  Speaker 1: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
• 41:17
  Speaker 2: That was very accusatory. Whoa. You did once.
• 41:20
  Speaker 1: No, hang on a second. Can you guys just back
• 41:22
  Speaker 1: the fuck off?
• 41:23
  Speaker 4: Back off.
• 41:24
  Speaker 2: And that's all we've got time for.
• 41:26
  Speaker 1: You guys, okay.
• 41:28
  Speaker 2: You admitted to it.
• 41:29
  Speaker 5: Are there two sides of the coin here?
• 41:30
  Speaker 1: I think I did.
• 41:31
  Speaker 2: Can I say, you don't question. Vix listened back to
• 41:34
  Speaker 2: every single episode. We have not done that. Have you?
• 41:37
  Speaker 1: Yes. Damn it.
• 41:38
  Speaker 2: No. I would trust this accusation.
• 41:41
  Speaker 1: I think I got her. I can't remember what I
• 41:44
  Speaker 1: had for breakfast. So who knows what I did for
• 41:46
  Speaker 1: the last birthday party. I think I did get, yes,
• 41:50
  Speaker 1: Vic is looking at me.
• 41:51
  Speaker 2: You remembered the birthday though.
• 41:52
  Speaker 5: For Macy's birthday, you bought Lola a present.
• 41:55
  Speaker 1: For Macy's birthday?
• 41:56
  Speaker 5: Sorry, for Marley's birthday.
• 41:57
  Speaker 2: Now your accusation is just not credible.
• 41:59
  Speaker 1: Because you've got the name wrong. Cracks are in your story.
• 42:02
  Speaker 3: I've got a lot of kids' names in my head today.
• 42:04
  Speaker 1: You're an unreliable witness.
• 42:06
  Speaker 2: Vic also didn't have a very good night's sleep.
• 42:07
  Speaker 1: Very fair. I think I bought one gift. So, yeah,
• 42:12
  Speaker 1: you're right.
• 42:13
  Speaker 2: Would you do it again? That's the question.
• 42:14
  Speaker 1: No, no, no. Whenever I see a meltdown, I'm like, yes, cry.
• 42:18
  Speaker 1: Cry more. Yeah. You're getting stronger, child.
• 42:23
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 42:24
  Speaker 2: Oh, that's so good.
• 42:25
  Speaker 1: I love that actually.
• 42:25
  Speaker 5: That's a good reframe.
• 42:26
  Speaker 2: Thank you. I think like if you want to buy
• 42:30
  Speaker 2: another present.
• 42:31
  Speaker 1: The kids need to learn.
• 42:32
  Speaker 2: Go for it. But you're just delaying the inevitable conversation.
• 42:36
  Speaker 2: And I know that it'd be an easier conversation down
• 42:38
  Speaker 2: the track, but you don't want them. The trigger response
• 42:40
  Speaker 2: to someone else's birthday is that they get something too.
• 42:43
  Speaker 2: You're already getting party bags at other people's birthdays and
• 42:45
  Speaker 2: then you're getting presents. The birthday becomes insignificant. It's like,
• 42:48
  Speaker 2: for example, this morning with the book thing, April was like,
• 42:51
  Speaker 2: should we drop Oscar off to school before or after?
• 42:53
  Speaker 2: I said before because it's not about him. It's about Macy.
• 42:55
  Speaker 2: Similar concept.
• 42:56
  Speaker 1: You've got to fight the parent guilt. Stay strong. Stay
• 42:59
  Speaker 1: strong out there.
• 42:59
  Speaker 2: Fight the guilt. Poke them with a stick. That's all
• 43:01
  Speaker 2: I was saying.
• 43:02
  Speaker 1: Put it on a shirt. Okay, Ash, this is just
• 43:04
  Speaker 1: a real quick one that I'm going to squeeze into
• 43:06
  Speaker 1: the end of this episode.
• 43:07
  Speaker 2: Squeeze away, my guy.
• 43:08
  Speaker 1: This is Oreo gate. This has been in the news.
• 43:11
  Speaker 1: This has been in the news. Headline news. A mum
• 43:14
  Speaker 1: has sparked a lunchbox war after demanding other school parents
• 43:18
  Speaker 1: ditch the treats to stop her daughter feeling jealous. who
• 43:21
  Speaker 1: was in the right. We're talking about Oreos here. So
• 43:23
  Speaker 1: she has messaged into the school parent group on WhatsApp
• 43:27
  Speaker 1: and said, hey, everyone, little issue with packing lunches. And
• 43:31
  Speaker 1: the parents are like, of course, what's the problem? And
• 43:34
  Speaker 1: she said, can we refrain from putting certain items into
• 43:36
  Speaker 1: your lunchbox with your children? They were like, oh, is
• 43:38
  Speaker 1: it like allergies or what is it? And she's like, well, Oreos,
• 43:42
  Speaker 1: because my daughter wants Oreos. And every time she sees
• 43:44
  Speaker 1: your kids with the Oreos, she wants Oreos. And I'm
• 43:46
  Speaker 1: not going to give my child Oreos. So you have
• 43:48
  Speaker 1: to stop putting Oreos in your lunchbox.
• 43:50
  Speaker 2: I think that There he is. She needs to set
• 43:53
  Speaker 2: the expectation with her kid and not everyone else's.
• 43:55
  Speaker 1: Wow.
• 43:56
  Speaker 5: Parenting guru over here.
• 43:57
  Speaker 2: Jesus Christ.
• 43:58
  Speaker 1: I don't know what you've been doing lately.
• 44:00
  Speaker 2: I told you I went for a walk and I
• 44:01
  Speaker 2: did an ADHD test this morning.
• 44:03
  Speaker 1: I do like. I do appreciate the confidence, the nerve
• 44:07
  Speaker 1: of this mum, sorry, the confidence of this parent to
• 44:10
  Speaker 1: write in and be like, hey, can you just all
• 44:12
  Speaker 1: adhere to my standards?
• 44:13
  Speaker 2: Yeah, but you're giving yourself a name.
• 44:15
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I know, for sure. But props for asking. Fuck it.
• 44:19
  Speaker 2: It's also like this, right? If you're hanging out with
• 44:22
  Speaker 2: another family, their rules in their house are different to
• 44:25
  Speaker 2: the rules in my house. So like, for example, with you,
• 44:29
  Speaker 2: you've got the screen rule, right? But other kids come
• 44:31
  Speaker 2: over that don't have that rule. And then maybe when
• 44:34
  Speaker 2: they leave, Marley might go, they get to watch Screen
• 44:36
  Speaker 2: Time on these days or whatever. And you go, okay, great.
• 44:38
  Speaker 2: That's great for them. But they have their own rules
• 44:41
  Speaker 2: in their house. Like they have their own Oreo rules.
• 44:43
  Speaker 2: I've got my own Oreo rules. Don't fucking touch them.
• 44:45
  Speaker 1: Okay?
• 44:47
  Speaker 2: Because they're mine. But like I think to ask. Every parent.
• 44:51
  Speaker 2: If you're going to ask every parent in that thing,
• 44:54
  Speaker 2: I think it's best to make it more inquisitive than saying,
• 44:57
  Speaker 2: can we not? Maybe be like, what sort of stuff
• 45:00
  Speaker 2: are you guys putting in your lunchboxes? Because I feel
• 45:01
  Speaker 2: like my kid's not eating it. Just to suss out
• 45:03
  Speaker 2: and be like, oh, really? I didn't think we were
• 45:05
  Speaker 2: doing that. And make it more of a collective issue
• 45:07
  Speaker 2: than just yourself.
• 45:08
  Speaker 3: I think it was the tone of this mum was like,
• 45:10
  Speaker 3: how dare you put Oreos in and upset my daughter?
• 45:13
  Speaker 2: I love how we're reading people's text tone. That's my
• 45:15
  Speaker 2: favourite thing to do. Yeah, I get it. But like
• 45:18
  Speaker 2: I said, frame it more as inquisitively of what other
• 45:21
  Speaker 2: people are packing. Because it might be the fact that
• 45:24
  Speaker 2: one kid had an Oreo one day, but everyone else
• 45:26
  Speaker 2: has a Cocoa Pops bar. Or someone has like this,
• 45:29
  Speaker 2: someone has that. There was always that kid who had
• 45:31
  Speaker 2: Maccas at school.
• 45:32
  Speaker 1: It would be a great life to live if everybody
• 45:35
  Speaker 1: would just adhere to all of your requests.
• 45:37
  Speaker 2: There's so many things I would like everyone to do.
• 45:39
  Speaker 1: Can you all just walk your kids to school because
• 45:41
  Speaker 1: I find it hard to find a park in the mornings?
• 45:44
  Speaker 2: Can people stop driving the exact speed limit?
• 45:46
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 45:47
  Speaker 2: It's so annoying. Either go under or over. Adhere to me.
• 45:51
  Speaker 1: You know what I mean? I like it. I mean..
• 45:54
  Speaker 2: It would feel good.
• 45:55
  Speaker 1: It's funny. I mean, I'm not in the receiving end
• 45:58
  Speaker 1: of it at all. So from the outside, I'm like,
• 46:00
  Speaker 1: all power to you.
• 46:02
  Speaker 2: It's like..
• 46:03
  Speaker 1: It's ridiculous.
• 46:04
  Speaker 2: Every... I just think like I'm too self-conscious about writing
• 46:09
  Speaker 2: something like that in case everyone's just talking shit about.
• 46:11
  Speaker 1: Behind my back.
• 46:12
  Speaker 4: Because here we are.
• 46:13
  Speaker 1: You're a good person.
• 46:14
  Speaker 2: Thank you.
• 46:15
  Speaker 1: You're a good person. Not to say this person is
• 46:16
  Speaker 1: not a good person.
• 46:17
  Speaker 2: I think go with a more inquisitive angle if you're concerned,
• 46:20
  Speaker 2: but then also set the expectation of your child.
• 46:22
  Speaker 1: Can you imagine if you said to your partner like, hey,
• 46:24
  Speaker 1: this is fucking ridiculous. We've got to ask everyone else
• 46:27
  Speaker 1: not to pack Oreos. Should I send the message? And
• 46:29
  Speaker 1: the other partner's like, yeah, send it. What's the worst
• 46:31
  Speaker 1: that can happen?
• 46:31
  Speaker 2: He's not listening anymore. He's tuned out. I'm telling you
• 46:35
  Speaker 2: right now.
• 46:35
  Speaker 1: And then it's like, oh, woke up with 1,000 messages.
• 46:40
  Speaker 1: What's happened?
• 46:40
  Speaker 2: She's like, what should I write this year, man?
• 46:41
  Speaker 1: Do whatever you want. It's on like..
• 46:44
  Speaker 2: Put his back on.
• 46:44
  Speaker 1: It's on like the Gold Coast Bulletin. What's that? It's
• 46:48
  Speaker 1: on the Gold Coast Bulletin. It's on the Korean Mail.
• 46:51
  Speaker 2: It's on the Adelaide Advertiser. And then she'd be like,
• 46:54
  Speaker 2: you said it'd be fine. And he's like..
• 46:57
  Speaker 4: What?
• 46:58
  Speaker 2: I don't remember anything you told me.
• 46:59
  Speaker 1: Did I say that?
• 47:00
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I didn't say that. But yeah, look, just set
• 47:03
  Speaker 2: the expectation with your kid.
• 47:04
  Speaker 4: That's it.
• 47:05
  Speaker 2: That's all I got to say. And furthermore.
• 47:09
  Speaker 1: Let's get out of here.
• 47:10
  Speaker 2: If you've got a Dota dilemma, please send it in
• 47:12
  Speaker 2: to us. If it's ridiculous and funny, that's great. But
• 47:15
  Speaker 2: if it's serious and you want a serious answer.
• 47:17
  Speaker 1: More so if you have a funny name.
• 47:19
  Speaker 2: Funny names are all about.
• 47:20
  Speaker 1: We don't care what the problem is. We just want
• 47:22
  Speaker 1: to read your name out. Yes.
• 47:23
  Speaker 2: And if it rhymes and starts with a D, perfect.
• 47:26
  Speaker 1: Bingo.
• 47:27
  Speaker 2: But if you enjoyed this episode, please leave a review.
• 47:29
  Speaker 1: Subscribe.
• 47:30
  Speaker 2: Thank you. Now, you can leave a comment on individual
• 47:33
  Speaker 2: episodes on Spotify or you can leave one overarching comment.
• 47:36
  Speaker 2: like a CEO review of the other little reviews, like
• 47:40
  Speaker 2: a parent review, if you will.
• 47:42
  Speaker 1: Please.
• 47:42
  Speaker 2: Or you can join us on social media.
• 47:44
  Speaker 1: Tick tocking dads, tick tock, Facebook groups, shorts on YouTube, Instagram, YouTube.
• 47:50
  Speaker 1: Don't mention YouTube. And we'll get out of here. We're
• 47:52
  Speaker 1: going to go.
• 47:52
  Speaker 3: Okay.
• 47:52
  Speaker 2: Bye. Bye.
• 47:53
  Speaker 3: Bye.
• 47:53
  Speaker 2: Bye.
• 47:53
  Speaker 4: Bye.
• 48:04
  Speaker 1: Two Doting Dads podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country
• 48:07
  Speaker 1: throughout Australia and their connections to land, sea and community.
• 48:11
  Speaker 2: We pay our respects to their elders past and present
• 48:14
  Speaker 2: and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait
• 48:16
  Speaker 2: Islander peoples today. This episode was recorded on Gadigal land.