Latest / Three Damned Dudes / Episode 4 - Gavin is finally here!

Transcript

Episode 4 - Gavin is finally here! · Three Damned Dudes

• 0:36
  Welcome to the Three Damn Dudes podcast.
• 0:39
  Oh, that's a new voice. But before we dig into that, as
• 0:46
  we announced in a previous, was that our last episode?
• 0:48
  That was the last episode, right?
• 0:50
  Jimmy what? Our sponsor.
• 0:54
  It was the last episode. Guys, we have 3 fucking episodes
• 0:57
  and we have a sponsor. So if you're out there sitting
• 1:00
  on your fucking couch and you don't have a sponsor, get
• 1:03
  fucked. Just kidding.
• 1:06
  I bet a lot of our listeners do have sponsors.
• 1:08
  I think they're kind of a mandatory thing in a a, A.
• 1:12
  I mean, you know, we can't judge.
• 1:15
  We've been there. Yeah, I still talk to one of my
• 1:18
  sponsors off and on sometimes when I'm drunk.
• 1:23
  Yeah, which is usually the worst time to talk to him, however.
• 1:29
  Yeah. Yeah, anyways, welcome to the
• 1:36
  Three Damn Dudes podcast, brought to you by Rifle and
• 1:39
  Ratchet Refinishing, located in Taylor, MI, Rifle and Ratchet is
• 1:43
  a veteran owned and operated shop providing seracote and
• 1:46
  laser engraving services. Whether it's rust, corrosion,
• 1:49
  wear and tear, scratches, or you simply treat your firearm like
• 1:53
  absolute shit. I mean, don't like the color?
• 1:57
  They do everything from factory finishes to custom camo, and
• 2:00
  they can't wait to make your dream a reality to shoot.
• 2:03
  But it's not just firearms. It's also automotive parts, game
• 2:07
  controllers, golf clubs, basically anything you can fit
• 2:09
  in an oven. And yeah, their goal is to make
• 2:14
  you say wow when it comes out of the case.
• 2:16
  So thank you Rifle and Ratchet for coming on as our first
• 2:19
  sponsor to this horrific clusterfuck of a podcast.
• 2:25
  However, they have severely upgraded the quality of the
• 2:30
  podcast for us, so they have. That is a very heartfelt thank
• 2:34
  you to them. Yes, Gavin now has a microphone
• 2:38
  and a webcam, so we all sound good and well, we still we sound
• 2:44
  like shit because of our voices. We can't change, but our shitty
• 2:47
  voices sound pretty fucking good now.
• 2:50
  Now you can hear them clearly. We'll see how all this episode
• 2:54
  goes with the three of us because we have a track record
• 2:57
  so far where none of the episodes we do together get
• 3:01
  aired because they are just. Awful.
• 3:04
  I almost ruined it during the ad read and that took a lot of
• 3:08
  self-control. I'm proud of you for not letting
• 3:13
  the intrusive thought win. We did pretty we're doing pretty
• 3:15
  good so far. We're we're 2 minutes and 50
• 3:18
  seconds in and nobody's mentioned Mike's ex-wife so.
• 3:25
  There it is, Jimmy, shut the fuck up.
• 3:29
  Our audience is going to be like, why the fuck isn't there
• 3:32
  an episode this week? And it's like, well, we brought
• 3:35
  the third guy on it. It all went to shit.
• 3:40
  So I actually got asked by a buddy of mine where last week's
• 3:44
  episode was. Yeah, I oh, I got one too, Yeah.
• 3:51
  We've got people looking forward to this now.
• 3:53
  That's scary. I don't know why.
• 3:57
  We're doing good. What are we at?
• 3:58
  We're on. Hang on, let me log in real
• 4:00
  quick. Yeah, let's.
• 4:02
  You can check you can look on Spotify because I don't have
• 4:04
  that. We're really just going to throw
• 4:08
  our stats out there. Well, I mean, yeah, because
• 4:12
  like, they're part of it. The listeners are part of this.
• 4:14
  So yeah. Like so in the last 30 days,
• 4:17
  which encompasses damn near the entire lifetime of this podcast,
• 4:21
  we have had 111 plays. So thank you guys for that.
• 4:25
  That's fucking insane. I was going to be happy with
• 4:28
  like my mom and dad. Well, my dad listening to this,
• 4:32
  my mom wouldn't listen long enough to count as a metric, but
• 4:37
  I I would have been happy with like 5 but 111 with 35
• 4:41
  consumption hours and 10 followers.
• 4:45
  But I will say I'm going to be that douchey YouTube guy guys
• 4:51
  follow. Our Facebook says 72 followers,
• 4:56
  so we're doing pretty good on that too.
• 4:58
  Yeah, I went through and invited a bunch of people that I figured
• 5:02
  were safe to to follow the page, and a handful of them actually
• 5:06
  did. Not everybody fine.
• 5:08
  Go through and do that, but I feel like we have enough mutuals
• 5:12
  that if I invite them, they're probably already following the
• 5:15
  page, so. Yeah, that's fair.
• 5:19
  So breakdown by episode. Episode 1, the spicy one, we had
• 5:26
  45 plays on that. In episode 2, we had 45 plays
• 5:31
  on. In episode 3, we had 19 plays on
• 5:36
  like that 19 number. That's what I expected our
• 5:39
  baseline to be like. That's that's fucking insane.
• 5:44
  And again, thank you for all of you absolute fucking degenerates
• 5:48
  who keep listening to us. Get on here and talk about
• 5:52
  absolute fucking nonsense and bullshit and occasionally hit
• 5:56
  some real topics. You guys, you guys are really
• 5:59
  the why behind what we're doing and and we do truly, deeply
• 6:05
  appreciate you guys giving a shit about the dumb fuckery that
• 6:09
  we get on here and do every week.
• 6:11
  So as long as you keep listening and you keep liking it, we'll
• 6:13
  keep fucking doing it. Absolutely.
• 6:18
  All right. You guys ready to go into the
• 6:20
  the weekly recaps? Yeah, yeah, let's do it.
• 6:25
  OK, so as always, this is a story about my fucking daughter.
• 6:33
  Absolutely. Yeah, still in the trenches with
• 6:37
  potty training as got intended. She's she's real good about
• 6:44
  peeing on the potty, like 70% good about peeing on the potty.
• 6:51
  And just for whatever reason, unless like the force of peeing
• 6:56
  pushes a Duke out, she will not shit on the toilet.
• 7:00
  So couple days ago whenever I wrote this note in our Google
• 7:04
  doc, she hadn't pooped for like 2 days and I'm getting ready for
• 7:11
  bed and I'm like hey you need to go potty before you get in bed.
• 7:13
  And she's like OK so she gets on the toilet and she starts peeing
• 7:18
  and then like rips a straight up fucking man fart like it.
• 7:24
  It was almost concerning And I look at her and I'm like, dude,
• 7:30
  do you need to Duke? And she looks at me and she just
• 7:33
  stupid fucking face. She does all the time.
• 7:35
  She goes, no, I'm a morning duker.
• 7:50
  That's what she said. Out of my fucking 3 year old.
• 7:55
  Daughter's mouth. Hey, you need to go before bed.
• 7:58
  No, I'm a morning duker. I I mean if she's on a schedule
• 8:03
  like. She's not, You know what she is?
• 8:06
  She's an undies duker. Yeah.
• 8:11
  So do you guys have like a kids seat on your toilet?
• 8:14
  Yeah, there's the little 2 step stool and then the potty seat
• 8:19
  that sits inside the the adult toilet seat.
• 8:26
  Yeah. So like, she's usually pretty
• 8:28
  good about climbing up there, but she will also like if
• 8:32
  there's literally anything going on up to and including the
• 8:35
  fucking vernal equinox, she will fight getting on the toilet and
• 8:40
  I don't understand it. That was going to be my follow
• 8:43
  up question because last time I went to visit you and you were
• 8:47
  in the trenches with that, every time you took her into a
• 8:52
  bathroom it was just visceral screaming the entire time.
• 8:57
  You'd think she was being murdered.
• 8:59
  But I'm just. Trying to keep her from getting
• 9:00
  a fucking diaper rash. So I mean, it was I dealt with
• 9:07
  that with my son where sorry, it looked like somebody sounded
• 9:14
  like somebody was opening my door.
• 9:17
  Anyway, I had the same issue with with my son.
• 9:20
  He he peeing was easy. It took a really, really long
• 9:24
  time for him to to poop on the potty and to the point where
• 9:29
  like every all the other kids who were younger than him were,
• 9:33
  were pooping on the body. He was just behind.
• 9:36
  So it's not, it's not uncommon for him.
• 9:42
  He's 6 and he still has to have a seat to to go on.
• 9:47
  He he won't go on the normal, the normal toilet seat.
• 9:53
  Kids are just a pain in the ass when it comes to that.
• 9:55
  So just keep doing what you're doing, it'll come and it'll get
• 9:58
  better and you'll he also does she by any chance does she
• 10:05
  complain about it hurting because she could be OK?
• 10:10
  So she'll like pull the whole my tummy hurts.
• 10:15
  I'm like, do you have to poop? And she goes no.
• 10:22
  And then you go and see her squat in the corner and it's
• 10:25
  like, are you pooping? She was no.
• 10:34
  Yeah, kids, man. Yeah.
• 10:36
  So yeah, I'm convinced that I'm not in the trenches with potty
• 10:40
  training. I'm just in the fucking
• 10:42
  trenches. Yeah.
• 10:46
  And you? Another thing to have two of
• 10:48
  them so you have to go through all of this again.
• 10:52
  Yeah, yeah, and apparently boys are harder, is what I've heard.
• 10:59
  No, I disagree. Jimmy's saying no, but Jimmy
• 11:01
  only has a boy, so. I have a daughter.
• 11:06
  You forget I'm on my 12 year old.
• 11:11
  Yes. That was new information to me.
• 11:15
  Yeah. I knew you had the little boy,
• 11:18
  but. When I was married, we had, she
• 11:21
  had a daughter that I raised up from one year old.
• 11:25
  She's 12 now. I'm still in the picture.
• 11:28
  But yeah, I know girls are, girls are definitely harder than
• 11:31
  boys. I, I would, I would say boys are
• 11:35
  just dumb, you know? Yeah.
• 11:38
  No, that's fair. I'll give you that one.
• 11:40
  They're. They're dumb and that's it, you
• 11:44
  know? Yeah, and you never really grew
• 11:46
  out of that. And that's why girls are easy,
• 11:49
  are harder, because they're smart.
• 11:54
  So. I'm a morning duker.
• 11:56
  That's a totally a girl thing to say just to get out of some
• 11:59
  shit, you know? A boy would say my fart's on the
• 12:05
  floor or something stupid like that, you know?
• 12:08
  Daddy, my fart's on the floor. So another thing that my fucking
• 12:14
  fair last three-year old has done, which at like proud vet
• 12:19
  dad moment. Cringe.
• 12:22
  Any other kind of dad moment? So my wife was getting my kids
• 12:29
  ready this morning after I'd already gone to work and she,
• 12:34
  she and my daughter are walking out of our room and they get to
• 12:38
  the top of the stairs. So like, you walk up the stairs
• 12:40
  of media rights, the bedroom, and then there's the hallway to
• 12:42
  the way they're walking out of my room and there's the stairs
• 12:45
  right there. And I occasionally get drunk and
• 12:49
  bored and Ridley and I will pretend to clear the house, and
• 12:58
  whenever it's time to go do that, I look at Ridley and go,
• 13:01
  hey, kid, guns up. And she goes.
• 13:10
  About. That holding a mini gun.
• 13:13
  No, she's a she's beer can gripping a Shorty M4 if it was
• 13:19
  toddler size. But so Ridley and Jenner are
• 13:24
  walking out of the bedroom and Ridley puts her arm out to stop
• 13:27
  my wife before she breaks the plane of the doorway where the
• 13:31
  stairs are and she goes stop. Mama guns up and then stood at
• 13:41
  the top of the stairs and held security while my wife walked
• 13:44
  down the hallway to get my son and I was just like holy fucking
• 13:50
  shit that is beautiful. As a proud moment.
• 13:55
  Please God, do not do that at daycare.
• 13:59
  That is the last thing I need is the teacher goes to walk out of
• 14:02
  the room and she's like, hey, miss so and so guns up because
• 14:09
  then I have to explain that. And I don't know how to explain
• 14:15
  that. I'll just I'll send the teacher
• 14:17
  this episode of the podcast and that'll that'll explain.
• 14:20
  It do that, Yeah. So I'm the daycare.
• 14:25
  Person, I'm like, listen, I'm, I'm just a fucking degenerate G
• 14:29
  Watt kid, all right? I I don't know what you want
• 14:31
  from me. Somebody allowed me to procreate
• 14:34
  and now it's the world's fucking problem.
• 14:36
  Almost on Facebook all. Right, let me get through my
• 14:44
  recap. So Gavin and I in May are going
• 14:49
  to a fucking Bill Murray show down in DC.
• 14:53
  Well, up in DC for Gavin, down in DC for me.
• 14:56
  Yeah, let me let me set the stage for that, though.
• 15:02
  I get a call from Mike while he is driving with his family to
• 15:07
  Nebraska for Christmas. He's somewhere in what was it
• 15:11
  like Illinois kids screaming in the background?
• 15:19
  He hasn't. He didn't say hi, hello,
• 15:20
  nothing. He goes, hey, general missioner
• 15:23
  seats to where I reply, We're both broken pieces of shit.
• 15:31
  We should probably get seats. Go through that whole
• 15:35
  conversation and then I'm like, what the fuck is this for?
• 15:39
  I was like, I'm getting Bill Murray tickets.
• 15:48
  So I apparently saw that on Facebook way too late and the
• 15:52
  only thing that was left available for two tickets was
• 15:55
  general admission. So Gavin and I are going to
• 15:57
  stand our broke asses somewhere down on the floor and probably
• 16:02
  drink heavily and cry. 100%. But no, it'll be good.
• 16:07
  I'm super fucking excited for that show.
• 16:09
  And if you haven't listened to Bill Murray, not a sponsor,
• 16:13
  you're doing yourself a true disservice.
• 16:16
  I'm also looking at you Jimmy. Mr. I only like 1 fucking song.
• 16:20
  You guys, you guys are going to drive, You guys are travelling
• 16:24
  to go see this band, yes. Yes, we.
• 16:27
  Are, yeah, I don't know if they're that.
• 16:29
  Good, you know, we are that good.
• 16:32
  Well, welcome to the Two Damn Dudes podcast.
• 16:36
  Go ahead and kick Jimmy out of here, all right?
• 16:43
  And last thing, while I was in Nebraska, I, I hit up a buddy of
• 16:48
  mine from my first deployment who has lived a lot of places,
• 16:51
  but generally tends to end up living back in Nebraska.
• 16:55
  And like the last couple times we've gone over the last like 5
• 16:59
  or 6 years, we've just kept missing each other.
• 17:03
  And we finally fucking close the deal, got together and went
• 17:07
  fucking brewery hopping. And it's it was super fucking
• 17:14
  weird and surreal that like I haven't seen this dude in 10
• 17:18
  fucking years, right. And it was like, after all of
• 17:23
  the catching up, it was like I saw him yesterday.
• 17:27
  Like there wasn't there was no significant passage of time.
• 17:30
  Like we were right back in the same fucking relationship
• 17:34
  conversation. Like it was nuts.
• 17:36
  And like that, that was a, a super nice, fucking super
• 17:42
  personally rewarding thing. So the note there is it's
• 17:47
  important to keep up with the boys.
• 17:49
  It's super important to carve that time out and to make sure
• 17:51
  you're reaching out. And when you're able to fucking
• 17:54
  go grab a beer, go grab a coffee, go get lunch, do
• 17:57
  whatever, but keep in touch with the boys.
• 18:01
  And that's my recap. Did you tell them about the
• 18:03
  podcast? Did you tell them to follow us
• 18:08
  on Facebook? I think I did the the big
• 18:14
  Facebook push before. No, I'm conflating 2 people.
• 18:19
  I don't know if he's on Facebook.
• 18:22
  I'll have to look. I'm writing it down on.
• 18:23
  Facebook just for this. Hey man, I need you to get a
• 18:29
  Facebook just so you can follow my podcast page.
• 18:33
  It's super important to no one, but you should do it anyway.
• 18:42
  But no, I definitely told him that we were, we were doing this
• 18:45
  thing. And I think I sent him a link to
• 18:48
  it. I don't fucking remember.
• 18:52
  But alright, Jimmy, what were your last four?
• 18:55
  Oh Merry Christmas by the way, you fucking pieces of shit.
• 18:58
  Yeah, Merry. Merry Christmas.
• 19:00
  And by the time this drops, New Year's will have already
• 19:04
  happened, so. Happy New Year.
• 19:06
  Happy New year boys. May 2026 be better and also so
• 19:11
  much fucking worse and all of the best ways than 2025.
• 19:17
  Cheers boys. The bar can always get lower.
• 19:21
  Cheers. Right, Jimmy, what did you do
• 19:31
  over the last two weeks? Did Santa bring you everything
• 19:34
  you wanted? I was sick, the star of a the
• 19:40
  start of the last episode we did was when I started getting sick
• 19:44
  and it only got worse. Like I was sick for the frigging
• 19:48
  2 weeks man. I'm my voice just came back
• 19:51
  fully yesterday. I still kind of bringing stuff
• 19:57
  up from my lungs and stuff but not as much.
• 19:59
  Thank God I was. I had the fucking plague for
• 20:03
  like 2 weeks dude, it was miserable.
• 20:05
  Now the audience isn't going to understand this, but is any of
• 20:09
  this sickness chili related? No, what we did, we talked about
• 20:14
  the chili thing again on the podcast.
• 20:15
  We. Did.
• 20:16
  We did. We recap the chili, the chili
• 20:19
  debacle, chili strip guts. Yeah, we did.
• 20:31
  We had a good Christmas. I hung out at home.
• 20:34
  I've got all week this week off. Our Christmas bonus was a week
• 20:38
  off so that was cool. So I've just been hanging out
• 20:44
  with the girlfriend and the kids and stuff like that and it's
• 20:48
  been nice. Been a very relaxing despite
• 20:51
  being sick. I probably had the best
• 20:53
  Christmas ever just because of the the cool stuff we did with
• 20:57
  the kids. Craft wise.
• 20:58
  We made a bunch of Christmas crafts and stuff like that.
• 21:01
  We made Christmas pretty memorable for the kids and stuff
• 21:04
  we did as parents. We did a phenomenal job with
• 21:07
  Christmas. I'm not even talking presents
• 21:09
  because I did not spend a lot of money on Christmas, which is
• 21:12
  nice. And I'm still super proud of
• 21:15
  what we achieved this year. So that's good.
• 21:18
  That's I don't, it's pretty much my recap.
• 21:20
  I don't have much. I think I think you have some
• 21:23
  more to talk about. Today.
• 21:27
  So I was going to shameless plug for your your fun buttons you
• 21:33
  can push now and I was going to ask you for a rendition of a
• 21:37
  song of your choice. You ready?
• 21:49
  Because I stay ready and I try to believe it.
• 21:55
  That's all I got you guys, but I got the God button.
• 22:05
  Hey God yes my son, why didn't I get my grown up Weiner?
• 22:13
  Because fuck you. Why does the Christian Church
• 22:19
  boycott a veteran podcast? Well, you see, one of the hosts
• 22:23
  pretends to be God. Oh, I mean episode 2 you told me
• 22:32
  I outlived Jesus and I was like, take that.
• 22:34
  Jesus, technically you did. You're almost 34.
• 22:41
  April, I'm three days older, younger than you remember.
• 22:47
  I, you know, listen, I occasionally make sure I forget
• 22:52
  about things all the time, so I think I remember that at some
• 22:59
  point. I probably definitely did.
• 23:01
  But if I cram more knowledge into my fucking brain, I'm going
• 23:03
  to forget how to tie my fucking shoes.
• 23:05
  Amy forgot my birthday. Facebook tells me and then I
• 23:09
  don't check it until three days later.
• 23:17
  Well, boys, I got my nails did. That was good.
• 23:23
  That's good. Part of my recap.
• 23:24
  There you go. Yes.
• 23:30
  Jimmy is selling the full length video on his foot Finder if
• 23:34
  anyone's interested. Yeah, Yep, yes I am.
• 23:39
  But I went and got my nails did I got a mini putty, So now I'm
• 23:43
  out here absolutely slaying. So I'm happy about that.
• 23:48
  Yes. So, but yeah, yeah, that was
• 23:53
  cool. Went and got some work done, you
• 23:57
  know, no big deal. Did you hit on the check that
• 24:00
  was doing your doing your feet? I did.
• 24:03
  I invited her over tonight so that'll be cool.
• 24:06
  How does Maddie feel about this? She's cool with it.
• 24:11
  She's coming over tonight, so it's cool, you know, But so
• 24:16
  she's a nail tech. So she's going to school to be a
• 24:19
  nail tech and she needs part of it is she's got to do certain
• 24:25
  services. She's got to do a certain amount
• 24:28
  of services before she can advance and take the the big
• 24:33
  test or whatever. So like the school that they go
• 24:37
  to, you can go to to get to get stuff done.
• 24:43
  And because you're get letting students work on you, it's like
• 24:47
  cheaper basically. So for like 23 bucks I got a
• 24:50
  Mani petty. So let's see.
• 24:55
  What's the liability look like on that since it's students
• 24:59
  working on you? Well, she kept getting mad at me
• 25:02
  and. Like cuts off a toe like that.
• 25:04
  Yeah, Well. I.
• 25:06
  I, I told her I, I kept making jokes.
• 25:09
  I kept making jokes. I was giving her a hard time
• 25:11
  because I am an ass. And so they have this.
• 25:17
  So you soak your nails and stuff, right?
• 25:20
  And there's so like there's one bowl you put your nail at your
• 25:23
  hand in and then she works on your nail, your nails, and then
• 25:27
  you put your other hand in. So we've got, I've got this hand
• 25:31
  in the water and she's working on this hand.
• 25:33
  And it's about 5 minutes of soaking in this water that I
• 25:36
  realized my hand's still in the water and she forgot to take it
• 25:39
  out. So I just, I just very casually
• 25:42
  go. So I was like, so what's the
• 25:46
  plan? Are we just like soaking my
• 25:47
  fingers until they look like raisins or she starts laughing
• 25:53
  and she goes, you're such a Dick.
• 25:56
  I was like, I'm just trying to understand.
• 25:58
  I'm trying to learn. Like a Welt goes your tip.
• 26:03
  I'm trying to learn how to do this.
• 26:05
  And so then we started laughing and I got my feet rubbed.
• 26:10
  That was nice. It was, it was, it was very
• 26:13
  nice. It was fun.
• 26:14
  I would do it again. I got made fun of by the boys, a
• 26:21
  terrible outdoorsman when they caught wind of it because I
• 26:23
  didn't send them pictures like I sent to you guys, but I posted
• 26:27
  the thing on Facebook. So immediately my, my, that
• 26:33
  picture gets posted in the group chat and they're, they're like,
• 26:37
  oh, look at Jimmy. What, what did they say?
• 26:44
  I just get it. The first text is it just says
• 26:49
  Jimmy dot dot dot dot dot what the fuck?
• 26:55
  And then and then another person comments a GIF of of Harry and
• 27:00
  Lloyd from the dumb and Dumber when he's getting his toes
• 27:03
  worked on with the grinder. And then they then they scream.
• 27:07
  Then they put the picture of me and getting my nails done.
• 27:10
  The one that you just put on the on the screen there.
• 27:13
  And so I got, I got lightly roasted, which is good.
• 27:17
  And you know, but I would do it. I, you know, I would 100% do it
• 27:21
  again. You know, I was there to support
• 27:23
  her and you know, it's an exciting chapter of her life.
• 27:26
  And so I, I wanted to go and be part of that and she's been
• 27:30
  wanting me to come and be a client.
• 27:31
  So I would do it again. It was funny.
• 27:33
  We had a lot of laughs and I got that day for an hour.
• 27:36
  So it was cool, you know, It was nice, yeah.
• 27:40
  ACT. Act.
• 27:45
  Oh geez. But that is all officially all I
• 27:49
  got for a recap for you. I mean the biggest.
• 27:53
  Question is. That's all right.
• 27:56
  One, yes, also that. But the biggest question is what
• 28:03
  the final product look like, whether what color did you
• 28:06
  choose? Yeah, we'll see them Piggy's
• 28:08
  buddy. Nope, those.
• 28:10
  Aren't piggies, you know? Give the people a reason to go
• 28:16
  find your feet Finder. Ah, yes.
• 28:24
  But yeah, it's funny because she she takes pictures and this
• 28:28
  warms my heart. She takes pictures because she's
• 28:31
  got like a, a nail design Instagram page.
• 28:35
  So she takes pictures of her work.
• 28:37
  So she took pictures of my hands and she took pictures of my
• 28:39
  feet. And it warms my heart because
• 28:43
  what a lot of people don't know is that I have a tattoo on my
• 28:46
  big toe of a camel. And it warms my heart that
• 28:50
  that's going to be on her Instagram page.
• 28:54
  So let's see if you can see it. Oh that is a massive camel toe
• 29:00
  bud. Is my only tattoo.
• 29:06
  Buddy, those are rookie numbers. You're going to bump those
• 29:07
  numbers way. Up.
• 29:09
  Oh yeah. Yeah, I I want to get a call.
• 29:13
  I have a couple ideas. I have some sick ideas, but
• 29:15
  let's do what? We'll talk about that later.
• 29:20
  Yeah, that's fair. Holy shit, Gavin's here.
• 29:24
  Our third damn dude has finally fucking arrived.
• 29:28
  Finally. We've done some light teasing
• 29:33
  about it. Yes.
• 29:35
  Yeah, for the listeners, we have not hit a million subscribers on
• 29:41
  Twitch because we don't have one and we also have not hit
• 29:47
  Kajillion. Followers on Reddit followers.
• 29:52
  To our to Reddit. Yeah, because we also don't have
• 29:55
  that. So we figured that's kind of
• 29:58
  fucked up for us to keep cock teasing you guys, so we'll just
• 30:01
  bring them on. Yeah, we'll finally just bring
• 30:04
  him. It was surprise drop on my head
• 30:08
  like when I was a baby so. Yeah.
• 30:13
  Yeah. Hi Gavin.
• 30:16
  So I know who you are. Jimmy kind of knows who you are,
• 30:21
  but who the fuck are you? That's the thing.
• 30:24
  Some of you know me. Most of you probably don't.
• 30:28
  Gavin, I was did six years in the Navy as a cryptologic
• 30:34
  technician maintenance. Ended up getting medically
• 30:38
  retired at the beginning of 23. And since then, it's kind of
• 30:46
  just all gone downhill trying to pick up the pieces of my life
• 30:51
  and get thrown out into the world with virtually no support
• 30:56
  because they don't really prepare you for any of that.
• 31:02
  So it's been been a lot of fun, have a lot of ups and downs.
• 31:06
  It's given me a lot of down time to kind of catch up with the
• 31:12
  people that I'm close with. Go up to, you know, Virginia,
• 31:16
  Maryland area where pretty much everybody is settled and get to
• 31:21
  spend time with them and their budding families.
• 31:26
  Watch them chase toddlers around with shit in their pants and
• 31:32
  just sit back and enjoy it with a beer and not have to deal with
• 31:35
  it and just laugh. But for the most part, it's
• 31:44
  pretty much just been prioritizing my health since
• 31:47
  I've been out. I've had couple of major
• 31:50
  surgeries here and there that kept me down and kind of kept me
• 31:54
  from actually being able to move forward in life.
• 31:58
  But now finally at a good place where I can kind of focus on
• 32:05
  those things and some of those goals that I have definitely
• 32:10
  meant to be one of the, you know, founding members of this
• 32:16
  budding community that we're growing.
• 32:19
  But as it happens, life gets in the way.
• 32:22
  So the past like month or two haven't really had the time and
• 32:28
  order honestly, just the stuff because I've been moving to be
• 32:33
  able to sit down and record with these guys, but finally got to a
• 32:39
  solid place where it's like, all right, cool again, come on to
• 32:43
  the podcast now. Stop teasing everybody as to why
• 32:47
  it's called the Three Damn Dudes instead of these two idiots and,
• 32:54
  you know, actually, actually get into the groove of things and
• 32:57
  start knocking it out. Well, you were there for I
• 33:04
  would, you're definitely a founding member.
• 33:06
  We're only on episode 4. So yeah, setting it up and
• 33:10
  coming up with what we coming up with our name and and and and
• 33:14
  and what we're about and what we want to talk about.
• 33:17
  And just like who we are as a, as a podcast, like you were part
• 33:20
  of all of that. So I, I definitely would, would
• 33:23
  consider you a founding member for sure.
• 33:26
  Like just just because you know, like you said, you had some shit
• 33:29
  come up, you know, and they were good reasons.
• 33:34
  So it's not like, you know, it's not like you were, even though
• 33:37
  you weren't on the 1st 3 episodes, it doesn't mean you
• 33:40
  weren't a part of it. You know what I mean?
• 33:41
  Like would. Like, Oh yeah, no, absolutely.
• 33:43
  Like definitely played the part behind the scenes and supported
• 33:48
  you guys through the first couple episodes.
• 33:50
  And then yeah, it was always the intention of coming in and
• 33:56
  making this a full-fledged thing with all three of us.
• 34:00
  And, you know, just getting after it and seeing who out
• 34:05
  there just enjoys bullshitting with us, whether it's, you know,
• 34:13
  you're doing yard work or you got a long ass commute into work
• 34:17
  and you need something to, you know, let the steam off and just
• 34:22
  kind of laugh for a little bit with us.
• 34:25
  Yeah, Like we're here for you guys, so.
• 34:29
  Yeah, I wrote down to notes when you were when you were talking
• 34:33
  just then and I'm going to go out of order.
• 34:36
  My second note is let the record reflect that Gavin has been here
• 34:41
  since day one, day one of this whole idea of doing a fucking
• 34:48
  podcast. Back to when I put my balls in a
• 34:51
  bowl of soy sauce in Arkansas with two other guys who we
• 34:57
  definitely need to have on its guests because that would be a
• 35:00
  fucking hell of a good show. Oh, absolutely.
• 35:03
  And it breaks my heart that that recording got ruined because
• 35:10
  there were some very fun moments.
• 35:17
  That's that's the way I'll describe that.
• 35:19
  There's some fun moments on there.
• 35:22
  I'm definitely not upset that my nuts are not on camera
• 35:26
  somewhere. I mean, they probably are,
• 35:29
  however. I sent Jimmy.
• 35:38
  So there's some back story to this side quest, and Gavin, I'm
• 35:43
  sorry for stepping on your intro and recap, but this, this is
• 35:47
  fucking good. So I bought this $60.00 mixer
• 35:54
  microphone combo on Amazon and that's what I've been using this
• 35:57
  whole time. Jimmy bought the same thing
• 36:02
  after I did because, you know, it doesn't sound bad for a
• 36:05
  cheap, relatively cheap set up. Right, definitely not.
• 36:10
  And then the beginnings of things, so.
• 36:14
  And then for Christmas our sponsor bought Gavin the same
• 36:19
  setup which so. Rifle and Ratchet refinishing.
• 36:26
  So I've gone through and set all my levels to, you know, sound
• 36:29
  kind of decent and work out all right for what we're trying to
• 36:32
  do. And Jimmy sends me, I don't
• 36:36
  remember if it was on text or Snapchat.
• 36:38
  It was on text. He texted me.
• 36:39
  And he's like, hey, he's like, hey, man, show me your knobs.
• 36:47
  And I get this. And I go, OK, So I look at my
• 36:53
  wife. My beautiful, lovely wife is
• 36:55
  sitting on the couch. And I go, hey, if I sent you a
• 37:00
  text that said show me your knobs, what do you think I would
• 37:03
  be talking about? And she went boobs.
• 37:07
  And I said, OK, fair, that's kind of where my head went.
• 37:11
  If you sent that to a guy, what would you expect to see in
• 37:15
  response? And she said balls.
• 37:19
  And I went, Yep, that's also where my head was at.
• 37:22
  You know how difficult it is to find a picture of a scrotum in
• 37:26
  Google Images? I'll do it right now.
• 37:29
  I bet I can find it immediately. I bet you can.
• 37:32
  I don't know. I.
• 37:35
  Oh, get ready for get ready to get cancelled.
• 37:39
  Jimmy, you can't take a picture of your own balls and upload
• 37:42
  them to Google and then go find that picture of your nuts.
• 37:46
  So I I don't have to go to Google to see your balls, bro.
• 37:54
  So I found a picture of what looked like, honestly a
• 37:58
  vasectomy prep of just nuts on a towel.
• 38:04
  And dude's got like another towel up around his Dong.
• 38:08
  So all you see are are nuts. And I said I responded to
• 38:22
  Jimmy's, show me your knobs. I said no worries, here's
• 38:25
  basically what they look like. And that's the picture I just
• 38:29
  described is nuts on a towel Dong under a gown.
• 38:34
  And Jimmy says, in what scenario do balls need to be placed on
• 38:38
  paper towels? And I said vasectomy, obviously,
• 38:44
  and then proceeded to immediately follow up with boom,
• 38:48
  got him full circle. The joke is complete.
• 38:53
  So now you find folks that listen to the shit show can stop
• 38:56
  hearing about how I got snipped because the joke is now the
• 39:00
  joke's now done. I felt like the joke in that.
• 39:08
  In that instance, you were, but the vasectomy joke is now done.
• 39:16
  So question because Gavin said who we, we, Gavin said who he
• 39:24
  was. What did you do in the military?
• 39:27
  Because we we didn't go over that before.
• 39:31
  Well, we did, but you know what I mean.
• 39:33
  Yeah. Me yes are.
• 39:36
  You pointing to me? I didn't do shit in the
• 39:37
  military. Oh shit.
• 39:39
  OK, so on my screen you guys are OK.
• 39:42
  So sorry that way. What did I do?
• 39:44
  I got promoted in Battlefield. That's what I did in the
• 39:47
  military. That's about fucking.
• 39:48
  It can prestige and Call of Duty bro.
• 39:51
  To be fair, neither one of us has really gone in depth as to
• 39:54
  what we did right so. Yeah, and you know what?
• 39:59
  I'm going to pull up a document that I have kind of prepared, so
• 40:10
  bear with me for three seconds while I try to fucking find this
• 40:16
  thing, OK? Yeah, it's got the thing at the
• 40:23
  bottom. So I started my career as a.
• 40:28
  Tactical Sigander. So how Gavin talked about being
• 40:33
  a ACTM in the Navy, I would have been the equivalent of a center.
• 40:39
  So I was running around doing cool Sigandy things on on small
• 40:48
  teams that you know, like, so again, it's a weird beast and
• 40:54
  it's super like there's a lot of different avenues that you can
• 40:57
  go down and I think for. That that.
• 41:01
  Kind of for a lot of reasons. It's true for like the CT
• 41:04
  community as a whole, it's more of an umbrella than it is a
• 41:10
  focus, so. Yeah, and for for a handful of
• 41:18
  reasons, we're not going to really dig into all the
• 41:20
  different flavors and weird one off things that fall under that
• 41:24
  umbrella. But so unless in 2013, got to my
• 41:31
  first duty station, 2014 and basically did teams shit out of
• 41:41
  that unit for my whole first enlistment.
• 41:45
  And it was honestly, it was the most fun I've ever had
• 41:48
  professionally. They even looking back now like
• 41:52
  that was that was the pinnacle of probably professional life
• 41:57
  for me was doing that job, working those missions, you
• 42:01
  know, having the opportunity to deploy and you don't go see all
• 42:03
  the shittiest parts of the world and, you know, actually do my
• 42:08
  job. So that's where I that's where I
• 42:10
  started out and cut my teeth. From there.
• 42:14
  I jumped over to cyber, which was a super weird, super
• 42:21
  interesting, but super weird coming from kind of a team's
• 42:26
  background going to like a really straight up nerd role.
• 42:31
  But it it gave me the opportunity to really expand my
• 42:35
  horizons and get a lot more technical and not just be the
• 42:39
  dumbass that can turn off and on a computer and go to Google or
• 42:43
  Pornhub. Like I actually know what a
• 42:46
  command line, like I know what the command prompt is, right?
• 42:50
  And that's, that's a fun thing. So after I was a signature, I
• 42:56
  was an analyst and that basically carried me through to
• 43:00
  the end of my, my career in uniform.
• 43:04
  And then I transitioned from military service to contractor
• 43:11
  side and moved into more of a operational level role vice a
• 43:20
  tactical level role of actually like being the doer on the
• 43:23
  ground, you know, putting a putting a kit on, carrying a gun
• 43:26
  around, doing pool guy shit. I transitioned away from that to
• 43:33
  essentially fly a desk full time and figure out how to best
• 43:39
  enable the guys that are now doing the job that I once did.
• 43:50
  That's the, that's the safe wave tops version of my background.
• 43:57
  So really I've just been a nerd for 11 years and that got that
• 44:04
  got super fucking lucky and did some cool shit.
• 44:10
  OK. OK.
• 44:14
  That's a much better answer than the answer you gave when I first
• 44:17
  asked you that question. Yeah.
• 44:19
  I had to. I had to edit that answer out
• 44:21
  because I sounded like a total fucking cunt.
• 44:26
  He answered that question like he was Steven Seagal, man.
• 44:29
  He was like. If I told you I'd have to kill
• 44:31
  you. So the problem is right, there's
• 44:35
  there's a lot of things that teeter on a line and I've got to
• 44:39
  be very careful most of the time with what I'm putting out into
• 44:44
  the ether and what I'm associating myself with one from
• 44:47
  like a personal security perspective, but also from a
• 44:50
  hey, some things we just can't talk about.
• 44:52
  Yes, 100%. And that just kind of comes with
• 44:57
  that territory of what we did so.
• 45:02
  Yeah, your field, your field has a definitely a risk of getting
• 45:07
  in trouble, you know, legally and also, you know, there's
• 45:13
  definitely a safety risk as well.
• 45:15
  If the wrong, if the wrong listener gets a hold of this,
• 45:19
  you know, if we get big enough to where fucking, you know, we
• 45:23
  get the wrong type of listeners listening to this shit, you
• 45:25
  know, you gotta be careful what you talk about.
• 45:26
  So I, I get it. I understand.
• 45:28
  I kind of, I half expected to get a similar answer to the one
• 45:32
  that I first got. But you know, luckily we were
• 45:35
  able to kind of go. There's got to be a way where
• 45:37
  you can talk about it vaguely. Yeah, no, I, I literally.
• 45:42
  We can expand on that like personal security bit a little
• 45:49
  bit more because at like 19, the advice you were getting, it
• 45:55
  really, it really kind of hammered that home of like, OK,
• 46:00
  we've got to actually like try not to present yourself as
• 46:05
  military in public. Got to be real careful about
• 46:09
  where you go with who you interact with.
• 46:12
  And if a very attractive girl comes up to you and starts
• 46:16
  hitting on you, they're probably not attracted to you.
• 46:20
  So. Look in the mirror.
• 46:25
  If a ten walks up to you at a bar, that's a fucking honeypot.
• 46:29
  Yes, don't fucking do it. So I think that actually has the
• 46:35
  potential to be something very, very interesting to hear from a
• 46:38
  listener perspective. So I, I want to ask more
• 46:40
  questions about that because that definitely hearing that
• 46:44
  perspective was like it made it kind of was like maybe we go,
• 46:46
  whoa, I would have never even have thought that.
• 46:49
  So so you're saying and and I want to make sure that I heard
• 46:53
  it right and that I understood what you were saying.
• 46:56
  So if you go to any public place, they don't want you to,
• 47:00
  they want you to be careful not to get stopped by vendors and
• 47:03
  stuff because those vendors could be more or less from
• 47:08
  another country here on a visa or something like that, but
• 47:11
  could be here for ulterior like, you know, for they could be
• 47:17
  spies basically or or whatever. You know, they could.
• 47:19
  You're saying that your safety could be jeopardized even out in
• 47:23
  public like that and they could potentially snatch you.
• 47:27
  Is that what you're saying? Yeah, so a lot of the, a lot of
• 47:31
  the root of it is that it is super important to maintain a
• 47:36
  level of blunts with who you were interacting with and in
• 47:41
  what capacity you're interacting with them in, because you
• 47:45
  literally have no idea who the fuck is who.
• 47:48
  Yes, yeah. So, and that was the that was
• 47:53
  the very like fine line you had to walk being like, Oh yeah, is
• 48:00
  this person just being nice or are they, are there ulterior
• 48:05
  motives that, you know, you can kind of deuce if you were out
• 48:10
  and like your dog tags fell out of your shirt or if you were
• 48:14
  just rocking your like GI boots. If somebody who was just sitting
• 48:21
  on their phone looks at you, does a double take and then
• 48:26
  immediately rushes over to you to start trying to get you to
• 48:29
  come over and talk And, and you know, they'll be friendly.
• 48:34
  They're like, oh, what are you doing in the area?
• 48:36
  How long have you been here? What's your job?
• 48:39
  When you start getting into questions like that, it's like,
• 48:42
  OK, now you can kind of tell that like, like they're trying
• 48:47
  to gauge how much potential would you have for information.
• 48:55
  So there's a lot of questions that like that teeter on the
• 48:58
  line and then definitely breach the threshold from just like
• 49:04
  friendly conversation to like, OK, am I actively being
• 49:09
  targeted? Am I being vibe checked?
• 49:11
  What what the fuck is actually going on here?
• 49:14
  So like, think of like a normal bar interaction.
• 49:17
  You sit down at the bar, you're like, hey, man, what are you
• 49:20
  drinking? Jameson and ginger ale or Jack
• 49:23
  and coke or, you know, Jim and whatever.
• 49:26
  Oh, cool. What do you do?
• 49:27
  Yeah, I'm, I'm, I'm in the military.
• 49:31
  Oh, cool, man. What do you do?
• 49:34
  You know, I nothing really cool. I mean, I don't want to talk
• 49:39
  about work. And like, that's that's a solid
• 49:41
  off ramp. Like you could flip it back and
• 49:44
  be like, So what what do you do, man?
• 49:45
  What what brings you to the area?
• 49:47
  You live here or you from here? You visiting?
• 49:49
  What's what's up? But like, if they keep really,
• 49:54
  really honing in on like the, oh, you're in the military, oh
• 49:58
  cool, what do you do? But what do you do?
• 50:02
  And there were. There was, yeah.
• 50:04
  And. There was some questions that
• 50:07
  like they weren't posed to meet, but they were a couple of
• 50:09
  friends that I had that had some interactions where guys weren't
• 50:17
  even trying to be subtle. And at that point it's
• 50:20
  immediate, like, OK, cool, I got to go.
• 50:23
  I'm not interested in anything you're selling, sorry bud.
• 50:27
  I mean, right, it's generally speaking anywhere you're out and
• 50:31
  about, if you're actively wearing a uniform, you need to
• 50:34
  pay attention to the interactions you're having.
• 50:37
  You need to always have in the back of your head that you could
• 50:39
  potentially be a target for nefarious reasons.
• 50:43
  So it it really just comes down to anywhere it in the world, in
• 50:48
  the United States, you truly have no idea who you're talking
• 50:53
  to out in public. Yeah.
• 50:54
  Yeah, like it could be a reporter that you definitely
• 50:57
  don't want to fucking talk to. It could be some fucking dude.
• 51:02
  That right you just you have no idea with on the street
• 51:08
  interactions. Yeah.
• 51:13
  And I will say, well, I got there.
• 51:15
  I was 19, so I take Nick Gappier out of high school.
• 51:20
  I've done a couple of odd jobs and then first, like, I guess
• 51:26
  real grown up job was the military.
• 51:29
  So getting thrown into that environment with that level of
• 51:35
  like, hey, you need to be vigilant, you need to protect
• 51:38
  yourself. It was kinda surreal where it's
• 51:41
  like, dude, I'm still a kid and like, I'm getting that all this
• 51:47
  information of, like, you need to be super careful.
• 51:51
  And there were some of the guys that were my age that, you know,
• 51:55
  really took a part. They're kind of like me where
• 51:58
  they're like, all right, cool. Everybody was kind of on edge
• 52:01
  all the time, paid attention to things.
• 52:06
  So. Yeah.
• 52:10
  Yeah, that's a lot like as a, as a kid, that's a, that's a lot
• 52:14
  like that's, that's, that's some scary shit to hear like that
• 52:19
  would that would kind of like definitely have me looking over
• 52:24
  my shoulder like 24/7 because like obviously you're in the
• 52:27
  military. You're it's a relatively I, I, I
• 52:32
  wasn't in the military. So I can't, I can only guess
• 52:34
  probably a relatively high stress job at times.
• 52:38
  And then when you're out just going about your day, trying to
• 52:42
  unwind because you're, you're out at the mall, you're as you
• 52:45
  know, you're not working, you're unwinding.
• 52:48
  And still you have to have your head looking a head on a swivel
• 52:51
  basically, because you know, and then, you know, you got to keep
• 52:56
  you got to always keep in the back of your head that even if
• 53:00
  you're a good looking dude out in public, if a girl talks to
• 53:02
  you like you have to be paranoid like that.
• 53:04
  That's a very wild, that's a wild way to live as a 19 year
• 53:08
  old man. Like I couldn't imagine.
• 53:09
  Like, Oh yeah. So like when you said that, I
• 53:12
  was like, holy shit, I didn't even think about that aspect.
• 53:14
  Like, I mean, I know, like, I mean, like when Mike was in the
• 53:20
  military and stuff and he'd come home, you know, obviously all of
• 53:23
  us had questions like, what do you do?
• 53:25
  And and then he would always say, you know, basically more or
• 53:28
  less what you, what you said just now, like you're like, I'm,
• 53:33
  I'm in the military. I'm, I'm in, I'm in a field
• 53:36
  where I can't really talk about it.
• 53:38
  Whatever. You think I'm doing?
• 53:40
  That's what I'm doing. You got, you got pretty good at
• 53:43
  answering it. I thought for sure.
• 53:46
  I was like, I know him, I can break him.
• 53:48
  I was like, I can get this information out of him easy.
• 53:50
  He's going to tell me because we're boys.
• 53:53
  But no, apparently he's got some loyalty to Uncle Sam because he
• 53:56
  wouldn't tell me shit. So I think you got.
• 53:59
  Imagination. You got really good at getting
• 54:05
  at giving really generic answers because like when anybody would
• 54:11
  ever ask me what I did or anything like that, if my main
• 54:16
  job was just to maintain equipment, right?
• 54:20
  I, I did a lot more than that in my time and service.
• 54:24
  But through schooling, things like that, like you learned to
• 54:29
  work on electronics, you broke down circuit boards.
• 54:33
  He did a lot of those things. So if anybody ever asked me what
• 54:37
  I did, I was like an electrician, like a pretty much
• 54:41
  anything runs on electricity. I just make sure that it works.
• 54:44
  I don't do anything. That's it.
• 54:47
  And that was always my generic answer of just, yeah, that's
• 54:52
  what I did. I just make sure things weren't
• 54:55
  broken. What's and that's, and that's
• 55:00
  got to be hard to like because I mean, we kind of talked about we
• 55:04
  don't have to dive into details, but you kind of already talked
• 55:07
  about it a little bit like you, Mike, you went through the suck
• 55:14
  and I remember finding out about that.
• 55:20
  And the hardest part about is like, I know you went through
• 55:28
  the suck. I know you made it out of the
• 55:30
  suck, but I don't know what puts you into the suck.
• 55:34
  And that's what sucks because no pun intended, because it's hard
• 55:39
  for like, you know, I like, I love you, man.
• 55:42
  So it's it's hard when I hear that you went through the type
• 55:45
  of suck that you went through it.
• 55:48
  I felt helpless because I can't help you because I don't get to
• 55:53
  know the details of like, I have no idea how to give you advice
• 55:57
  in the situation because I don't know where your head's at
• 55:59
  because I don't know what it was put through.
• 56:01
  You know what I mean? So and that's that's a really
• 56:04
  hard thing for you guys to go through.
• 56:07
  That's got to fucking suck. Not being able.
• 56:10
  To know about the suck. Huh.
• 56:14
  Do you want to know about the suck?
• 56:16
  What do you mean? Do you want me to to dive into
• 56:20
  what you were just alluding to? I mean, if you feel, I mean, I,
• 56:25
  I know personally what happened, I don't.
• 56:28
  So if you want to talk about it, you said you don't have to.
• 56:32
  So a big part of it, right? My first deployment, we had a
• 56:40
  couple operations that went less than ideally and essentially
• 56:46
  the, the bad guys didn't die and some of the good guys did right.
• 56:54
  And like, make no mistake about it, I was never, I was never
• 56:58
  actually cool. Like I was never on the ground
• 57:00
  kicking doors in or fucking, you know, get into firefights.
• 57:04
  I was not that guy. But I, I did feel a significant
• 57:10
  weight of responsibility on some of the, some of the OPS and
• 57:15
  missions that I was supporting when, you know, dudes didn't
• 57:24
  come home. So that, that took, that took a
• 57:33
  a shit ton of years and a shit ton of counseling and therapy
• 57:38
  to, to get to the place I am now.
• 57:42
  But pair that with going through a divorce before I even leave
• 57:50
  for deployment and the crushing realization that I am coming
• 57:59
  back from this deployment to a fucking barracks room.
• 58:05
  Not my apartment, not my dog. I'm I'm leaving fucking whatever
• 58:14
  country to go back to a fucking barracks room.
• 58:19
  And that is my life now. And I can definitely relate
• 58:25
  there with my deployment because I was freshly divorced at that
• 58:32
  point, went out forward and you kind of had some moments sitting
• 58:37
  out there where you're like, I don't have anything come home
• 58:41
  to, you know, so it was kind of crushing.
• 58:49
  And I'm in the same vein as Mike.
• 58:51
  We're like, sure, I did some cool things, but I was never one
• 58:57
  of those like cool guys kicking indoors, things like that.
• 59:03
  But the way I dealt with it was a lot more.
• 59:09
  I didn't get to oversee a lot of those things, but I have a lot
• 59:15
  of friends at the time who were kind of in the roles that like
• 59:19
  Mike was in. But they were 1819 having to
• 59:25
  watch things that really nobody at that age should be watching.
• 59:32
  And some of them couldn't handle it and ended up, you know,
• 59:38
  killing themselves. So I'd go to a couple of
• 59:42
  funerals in a very short amount of time just because we were
• 59:49
  kids getting put into roles that we never should have been in,
• 59:53
  that should have been for some more of the seasoned guys that
• 59:57
  have been through some of that stuff.
• 1:00:01
  And they just, it really kind of make you feel helpless.
• 1:00:09
  Obviously, like hypothetically, because I, I don't know what you
• 1:00:13
  guys did specifically, but if you guys are doing like, for
• 1:00:18
  example, like I, I've heard, I've heard stories of some
• 1:00:23
  people being the guy that's on the screen talking to the guy
• 1:00:28
  that drops the weapons and stuff like that.
• 1:00:30
  And then all of a sudden, you know, there's a delay between
• 1:00:33
  between the time that the button is pressed and between the,
• 1:00:36
  between it hits the target. I have heard horror stories of
• 1:00:41
  somebody getting the go ahead to drop the weapon and then all of
• 1:00:43
  a sudden the guys but the target's family shows up and
• 1:00:46
  goes in the house. You know, and if something like
• 1:00:49
  that happens, that's going to fuck you up, you know, like that
• 1:00:55
  would because I mean, you're fucking one.
• 1:00:58
  You're basically. You're the guy.
• 1:01:00
  It does. It does.
• 1:01:02
  You're basically the guy that let that happen.
• 1:01:04
  You told it to happen. It's not your fault that it
• 1:01:06
  happened. It's not but, and and again,
• 1:01:10
  this is not to a specific example of anything that I've
• 1:01:13
  heard, like this is just stuff that I've, you know, I've heard
• 1:01:15
  another podcast and stuff like that.
• 1:01:17
  So but that's obviously going to be like if that something like
• 1:01:24
  that happens, that's going to be the type of shit that's fucking
• 1:01:27
  with your head. So that's got to be the type of
• 1:01:29
  shit you got to talk to talk about like.
• 1:01:33
  It's it's kind of a double edged sword though, because on one
• 1:01:37
  hand, you can't talk about a lot of the shit that's really
• 1:01:42
  fucking you up. But when you're together with
• 1:01:47
  the guys you were deployed with or with the boys and you're
• 1:01:49
  sitting around a fire having couple glasses of whiskey or
• 1:01:54
  something like that, you can tell the good stories.
• 1:01:58
  You can tell the parts where you had fun of where you were back
• 1:02:03
  on base chilling and, you know, getting into some shit that you
• 1:02:08
  probably shouldn't have been getting into.
• 1:02:11
  And it makes it makes it lighter, you know where it's
• 1:02:16
  like, yeah, you can't talk about the bad, but you can sure shit
• 1:02:20
  talk about the good with the guys that you were with and it
• 1:02:26
  it helps. Yeah, there's a, there's a
• 1:02:31
  therapeutic aspect to like when I got together with Dan, like
• 1:02:35
  Dan's been disassociated from the military for fucking years
• 1:02:40
  at this point. But like, there's certain things
• 1:02:44
  that we both experienced so we don't have to talk about, right?
• 1:02:49
  Like we both know that we were there.
• 1:02:52
  Like, hey, remember that one time back in that place, Like,
• 1:02:54
  yeah, dude, that was fucking wild.
• 1:02:56
  That was absolutely fucking wild.
• 1:02:59
  And then like, yeah, like, hey, that was, that was the ship
• 1:03:04
  part. Like, hey, man, they remember
• 1:03:05
  when that dude fucking did the thing in the place and all those
• 1:03:08
  dudes died. Yeah, that that was a lot of
• 1:03:13
  therapy, but then you turn around and it's like, yeah, I
• 1:03:17
  remember that one time we were in whatever state doing that
• 1:03:20
  training and fucking so and so ate shit on the fucking pavement
• 1:03:24
  Dog. That guy's a fucking nerd.
• 1:03:27
  That was such a good this is good fucking course, right?
• 1:03:30
  Like there's there's something to and that's that's largely why
• 1:03:36
  I had on the hey, keep in touch with the dudes that you were out
• 1:03:39
  there with. Keep in touch with the dudes
• 1:03:40
  that you went through this shit with because you don't have to
• 1:03:43
  talk about all the spicy aspects of it that'll get you in
• 1:03:46
  trouble. But you guys have that shared
• 1:03:49
  experience. You don't have to go through all
• 1:03:50
  the fucking super squirrely details of it and relive every
• 1:03:54
  second of it. It's that knowing nod of like,
• 1:03:57
  yeah man, that fucking sucked. But we're still here a decade
• 1:04:01
  later. We're still here getting a
• 1:04:03
  fucking beer and just living life like we made it through
• 1:04:08
  that thing that we both know we went through, but we don't have
• 1:04:13
  to talk about it. Absolutely.
• 1:04:18
  That helps having a shared experience with somebody for
• 1:04:20
  sure. Yeah, Yep.
• 1:04:22
  So on a lighter note, I asked Mike this question and you don't
• 1:04:29
  have to answer it right away if you need to think about it, but
• 1:04:31
  it's one of the it's it's it's one of my favorite questions to
• 1:04:35
  ask somebody that served is when you were everybody seems to have
• 1:04:42
  a funny story, multiple funny stories of boot camp and
• 1:04:45
  everything like that, Whether it be that's the the the thing
• 1:04:49
  about human beings is we have the extraordinary ability to
• 1:04:55
  adapt and learning new ways to fuck with people and have.
• 1:05:00
  What was the funniest thing you've seen somebody have to do
• 1:05:05
  as like a punishment or was there and, and also like, were
• 1:05:11
  you ever punished in a funny way?
• 1:05:15
  Like is there anything that comes to mind as something that
• 1:05:18
  or even and, and Mike, feel free because I didn't necessarily ask
• 1:05:22
  you this. Is there anything that happened
• 1:05:24
  to you in the military that just makes you laugh your fucking ass
• 1:05:29
  off because it was just still goddamn funny?
• 1:05:33
  OK, I've got two things from boot camp that I can vividly
• 1:05:39
  remember, which granted I don't remember 90% boot camp.
• 1:05:44
  I was on autopilot. I stayed in the Gray.
• 1:05:48
  I didn't like, I did my job and that was pretty much it.
• 1:05:52
  I didn't stand out. I wasn't a shit bag.
• 1:05:55
  I was right there in the middle and like in the middle enough to
• 1:06:02
  where even though I was given like a roll of responsibility
• 1:06:07
  when we graduated, my first RDC was like, I didn't know you were
• 1:06:13
  in my fucking division until this moment.
• 1:06:19
  But the two biggest things that come to mind is the first couple
• 1:06:23
  of days you get there, you're going through intake, they're
• 1:06:26
  called P days, the processing days, right?
• 1:06:29
  So you're getting all your gear, you're getting all your medical
• 1:06:34
  evaluations, you're getting your boot camp glasses, your BC GS
• 1:06:39
  birth control glasses of what they're called for all the guys
• 1:06:44
  that need them. There was one guy in my division
• 1:06:48
  that had a prescription that was so fucking thick it was
• 1:06:55
  ridiculous. Like his prescription lenses
• 1:06:59
  were like that fucking thief and the RDC's lit him up like to the
• 1:07:05
  point where one of them left to go to a store out in town bring
• 1:07:12
  back 2 bottle like 2 of the glass bottles of coke and feed
• 1:07:17
  them and put them on his face and was like is this what you
• 1:07:23
  fucking see every day? My second experience was I had
• 1:07:35
  to get my bottom wisdom teeth pulled when I was in boot camp.
• 1:07:39
  I was about halfway through. I was the only person in the
• 1:07:43
  division that had to get put under anesthesia.
• 1:07:47
  Ford. Everybody else was like numbed
• 1:07:49
  up, yanked the tooth. Mine were so impacted, they
• 1:07:52
  actually had to put me under. So I'm walking back with the
• 1:07:58
  fucking, you know, battle buddy. The guy that takes me, he's
• 1:08:01
  going, he's taking me back to the ship.
• 1:08:04
  He's fucking holding me up. We happened to cross paths with
• 1:08:10
  our division marching got the RDC with them.
• 1:08:14
  They're going to do like fucking PT or something and he sees me
• 1:08:20
  and luckily it was it was our second RDC so he was a super
• 1:08:24
  chill dude who just funny all around.
• 1:08:27
  I'm still keep in touch with him the day.
• 1:08:31
  Gavin, what's an RDC? It's a recruit, division
• 1:08:35
  commander. Thank you.
• 1:08:37
  So kind of like drill Sergeant, drill instructor, it's just what
• 1:08:42
  the Navy calls it, RDCS. But we're crossing paths with
• 1:08:48
  them and we're on the opposite sides of the street and he sees
• 1:08:55
  me fucking wobbling. Like can't stand on my own.
• 1:08:58
  I'm high shit. And he yells out and he goes
• 1:09:03
  damn Bryce look at you how the fuck are you feeling and I
• 1:09:08
  yelled back top of my lungs. I feel fucking great.
• 1:09:13
  Hard to see. He laughed his ass off 3 days
• 1:09:20
  later when I got off of the fucking like SIQ the second
• 1:09:25
  quarters to where I could do like intensive training again
• 1:09:32
  PT. He lit my ass up for screaming
• 1:09:37
  that while I was high as shit. But honestly, it was the
• 1:09:42
  funniest fucking experience I had at that time 'cause I was
• 1:09:48
  just high as shit so. That's hilarious.
• 1:09:57
  So for for, I guess I think I know the answer, but for anybody
• 1:10:04
  who doesn't, why did you get lit up for answering it in that way?
• 1:10:12
  Because you're definitely not supposed to answer in that way.
• 1:10:16
  It's supposed to be very structured as like we didn't
• 1:10:24
  call them RDCS, we'd call them petty officers because I mean,
• 1:10:28
  that was their rank. So it would the structure would
• 1:10:31
  normally be Petty Officer, this recruit, blah, blah, blah, end
• 1:10:36
  with Petty Officer, something along those lines, right?
• 1:10:40
  It had be structured. There was never an I.
• 1:10:44
  It was this recruit and you had to address them a certain way.
• 1:10:50
  I was high as shit. So all of that went right out
• 1:10:52
  the fucking window. And I was my job before I joined
• 1:10:58
  the military was blue collar. I worked on water mains, laid
• 1:11:02
  pipe, things like that. So that came to the forefront
• 1:11:08
  and that blue collar came out of me and I just started screaming
• 1:11:12
  fuck in the middle of the street.
• 1:11:16
  And there was like, Yep, I might get your ass for that later.
• 1:11:20
  You heard it here first, folks. Gavin at 19.
• 1:11:23
  That motherfucker laid God damn pipe.
• 1:11:26
  I laid thick pipe. Oh yeah, so.
• 1:11:30
  OK, you, you might be a little, you've been a little generous
• 1:11:33
  right now. Yeah, he.
• 1:11:38
  Laid perfectly fine pipe. I've got small hands.
• 1:11:41
  It was thick to me, but it's. Oh fuck's sake.
• 1:11:57
  So did you, when you got out of the military, did you go into
• 1:12:06
  that field like plumbing or whatever?
• 1:12:09
  Not at all. I had the intention of kind of
• 1:12:16
  continuing what did the military service, moving more into that
• 1:12:21
  IT role, but had a couple of health issues.
• 1:12:27
  That got it. Mike is over there dying.
• 1:12:29
  What are you dying for? Yeah, because Kevin hasn't laid
• 1:12:32
  pipe since he was 19. I fuck you I I have laid
• 1:12:41
  significantly average pipe since then, all right.
• 1:12:45
  Only marginally subpar. Pipe.
• 1:12:49
  It was good enough to get me married so.
• 1:12:52
  Twice. Twice so.
• 1:12:56
  My God. I don't know if that says
• 1:12:57
  something about me or about the others, however.
• 1:13:04
  Hey man, quarter inch PVC still carries water.
• 1:13:10
  I mean, technically that's all I'm shooting now, but.
• 1:13:15
  I think they did your vasectomy wrong.
• 1:13:18
  See, Gavin? Gavin looks and sounds like he'd
• 1:13:21
  be laying pipe like this. This is voice, you know, just
• 1:13:25
  some fucking 2 inch thick pipe, you know, So that's what his
• 1:13:30
  voice. Why do you think I fuck with the
• 1:13:33
  lights off? There you go.
• 1:13:41
  You see, nowadays Gavin just turns the lights down, lights a
• 1:13:44
  couple candles, sits on the toilet, grabs his Trump brand
• 1:13:49
  lotion and makes masturbation great again.
• 1:13:55
  Hey, I resent the lotion comment.
• 1:13:58
  Wow, I will be I'm. Sorry some.
• 1:14:00
  I will be the first to say that I am a dry beater.
• 1:14:06
  I, I yeah, me too. I'm a proud dry.
• 1:14:08
  Beater yeah, me too. Me too. 100% I'm with you.
• 1:14:13
  We'll die on that hill. You, you brought up so much
• 1:14:16
  lotion and immediately the first thing that came to mind was MAGA
• 1:14:19
  Schmegma for some reason, and I have.
• 1:14:21
  No, the first thing that came to mind was fucking tanning lotion.
• 1:14:25
  And I was like, I'm going to go to the fucking girl and pull my
• 1:14:28
  pants down. She's like, why is your Dick
• 1:14:30
  orange? I was like, well.
• 1:14:32
  This. Branded lotion.
• 1:14:40
  Oh my God. No I actually I had a buddy of
• 1:14:43
  mine we were TDY fucking somewhere conus and he went to
• 1:14:48
  Walmart and got a maybe not Walmart but he somewhere got a
• 1:14:54
  bottle of like trump lotion what the fuck?
• 1:14:59
  And he put in our group chat with everybody on the team
• 1:15:02
  including our staff and coic. Hey boys, about to make
• 1:15:06
  masturbation great again. That's something that lives rent
• 1:15:19
  free in my head. Thanks a lot Nick, you fucking
• 1:15:21
  piece of shit. Is that the same Nick that I'm
• 1:15:27
  thinking of? No, no, that's it.
• 1:15:30
  And now I can't say his last name because that's, yeah, not
• 1:15:36
  not that Nick. And Nick, I'm pretty sure that
• 1:15:39
  Nick listens to this show. Nick.
• 1:15:41
  I'm not talking about you, buddy.
• 1:15:42
  I'm talking about the other one, our favorite third award, Pfc.
• 1:15:48
  Cheers buddy. Yikes.
• 1:15:54
  I like how your podcast in alcohol seems to be whiskey.
• 1:15:59
  Yeah, actually. So let's move into the the
• 1:16:08
  feedback from published episodes because I've gotten a couple
• 1:16:12
  point to point messages from from friends and and friends.
• 1:16:17
  Tell them to start leaving comments so everybody can see
• 1:16:20
  them. Actually one of the guys, he is
• 1:16:24
  one of the commenters on our episodes.
• 1:16:28
  I love the one about Derek. I'm not about Derek.
• 1:16:32
  Makes me fucking. Laugh, I'm, I'm going to let you
• 1:16:36
  respond to that. I don't want to touch that.
• 1:16:39
  So you need to get the app that lets you respond to that as the
• 1:16:42
  podcast. Yes, yeah, you need.
• 1:16:45
  'Cause I'm, I'm not, I'm not touching Derek and Derek is not
• 1:16:48
  hanging. Is your tree still up?
• 1:16:50
  Yeah. OK, All right.
• 1:16:53
  I I was going to do it. Hey, where's your other kid?
• 1:16:59
  No, go, go get your other kid. I need a name and a face
• 1:17:04
  unfortunately. He might not want to have those
• 1:17:07
  public details out you. Know, I don't think, I don't
• 1:17:12
  think Gavin knows about this. Gavin doesn't know because he
• 1:17:15
  didn't listen to the episodes that got published.
• 1:17:17
  I have not. I'm a piece of shit.
• 1:17:20
  We'll see. We'll see if he finds this
• 1:17:22
  funny. So, so, so this is the third
• 1:17:29
  time I've talked about this on a podcast.
• 1:17:31
  People have told me it's hilarious, so I know it's funny
• 1:17:34
  like I and when I tell them about it, they laugh really
• 1:17:36
  hard. Maddie does not think it's
• 1:17:38
  funny, but Maddie's wrong. A. 100%.
• 1:17:44
  They make these ornaments at the at the thrift store or not
• 1:17:48
  thrift store about the hobby store.
• 1:17:49
  So Michaels and stuff like that. And they come with stock photos.
• 1:17:54
  And so when I was divorced, when I was going through my divorce,
• 1:17:58
  I had to make sure that I did Christmas right.
• 1:18:01
  So I made sure that I got like a bunch of decorations for the
• 1:18:04
  house and stuff like I wanted to, I wanted to make sure that I
• 1:18:07
  did Christmas right. And so I, I bought, I had
• 1:18:12
  already had the tree, but I wanted to buy more ornaments and
• 1:18:14
  stuff like that. And I found these, my mom had
• 1:18:17
  gotten me these, these little ornaments that you can put your
• 1:18:20
  kids pictures in. And I wasn't going to do that.
• 1:18:24
  I was, I was completely happy with keeping the stock photos in
• 1:18:27
  it because it's hilarious. I've got random kids in my tree.
• 1:18:30
  So when people come and ask who these kids are, I get to tell
• 1:18:33
  them a different story every time.
• 1:18:36
  Like, like, who the fuck is this kid that's in my tree?
• 1:18:41
  It's fucking Derek, dude. That's my son.
• 1:18:46
  That's my son from a previous marriage.
• 1:18:49
  And I, dude, it's my favorite part of Christmas is getting the
• 1:18:54
  ornaments out because I see Derek and I just start laughing
• 1:18:58
  and it's so stupid. It's funny.
• 1:19:05
  But I had I had Derek and then I had another one that had a a
• 1:19:11
  little girl in it and she wasn't as funny.
• 1:19:16
  But unfortunately my mom had bought more and took the stock
• 1:19:24
  photos out and put our real photos in it.
• 1:19:29
  So and we had we had one, we were one, we were one ornament
• 1:19:38
  shy of having enough to have all of the actual kids in the
• 1:19:42
  ornaments. So I had the sacrifice the
• 1:19:45
  little girl ornament to put our kid, our kids picture in it.
• 1:19:49
  And I made sure to keep the photo.
• 1:19:52
  I will be buying another ornament.
• 1:19:54
  She will be coming back next year.
• 1:19:56
  She will be back in the tree because, you know, I, I some
• 1:20:02
  days I like what's. Her name?
• 1:20:03
  Some days I like these kids more than my real kids, you know,
• 1:20:07
  like they're, they, they hold the special place in my heart.
• 1:20:10
  Jimmy. What was her name?
• 1:20:13
  Jalissa. All right, I propose boys, a
• 1:20:16
  moment of silence for Jalissa for Christmas this year.
• 1:20:21
  Play taps. She will be back next year.
• 1:20:34
  She will return as. I think a moment has passed.
• 1:20:39
  You know, coming full circle to the beginning of the episode.
• 1:20:44
  I wish I would have known about these like Michael's decorations
• 1:20:50
  couple weeks ago because Mike, not even Mike Jenna specifically
• 1:20:57
  tried to get me to fly up to take care of their dogs while
• 1:21:04
  they were in Nebraska under the guise of oh, you can go and see
• 1:21:08
  ski and his family who's an hour away.
• 1:21:12
  So I would have to drive an hour there, spend 3 or 4 hours with
• 1:21:17
  them, and drive an hour back to an empty house to take care of
• 1:21:22
  your dogs. If I knew about these like pre
• 1:21:26
  made ornaments I 100% would have said yes to that offer.
• 1:21:33
  Gotten 1 taken a picture of Mike's ex-wife and put it in
• 1:21:38
  there and hit it on the tree somewhere.
• 1:21:42
  Oh my God. Yes, and waited to see how long
• 1:21:45
  it took him to notice. You're never allowed to dog sit
• 1:21:50
  again. I love that.
• 1:21:55
  That would have been running Johnny as fuck.
• 1:21:58
  It was a. Running joke shit.
• 1:22:00
  We were. We were going to make his
• 1:22:02
  ex-wife the third. Damn dude.
• 1:22:06
  My ex-wife and her lawyer. That's right, her lawyer.
• 1:22:11
  Just waiting for a fucking defamation case.
• 1:22:16
  We'll never fully name Dropper, no, she'll just be known as
• 1:22:20
  Alcunte So. Oh, that's that's exotic.
• 1:22:24
  Is that Brazilian? Yes, yes.
• 1:22:26
  I should know I married her but. Man, so I bought one, one of the
• 1:22:38
  one of the fun things that me and Maddie like to do is we like
• 1:22:42
  to go to thrift stores and we found she does not understand
• 1:22:50
  this, this she's she's funny as shit.
• 1:22:53
  Maddie's hilarious. The picture thing that I find
• 1:22:57
  funny, the random pictures of people, she does not share that
• 1:22:59
  same that same thing. And we were, we were looking at
• 1:23:05
  picture frames and somebody had had donated their wedding
• 1:23:11
  photos. It was a picture frame with all
• 1:23:14
  of their wedding photos. And like they were legitimate
• 1:23:17
  wedding photos. So I seen it and my eyes lit up.
• 1:23:21
  I wanted it. I wanted to put it up on the
• 1:23:22
  wall. And she was looking at me.
• 1:23:24
  She's like, absolutely not. She's like, it's not funny.
• 1:23:27
  And I was like, it's hilarious. I was like, I was like, the
• 1:23:31
  fact, the fact that you don't want some random people's
• 1:23:35
  wedding photos on our wall, It was like is, is is bumming me
• 1:23:38
  out a little bit. But I had the opportunity to do
• 1:23:42
  something funny and I am, I'm a little disappointed in myself
• 1:23:46
  that I didn't do it, mainly because it would have took too
• 1:23:51
  much effort for a lack of a laugh because she wouldn't have
• 1:23:54
  thought it was funny, but I would have, but it would have
• 1:23:56
  just been me laughing at her basically.
• 1:23:57
  And I don't want to do that. I bought her a picture frame
• 1:24:03
  that's got like, it's like a bunch of different pictures,
• 1:24:06
  picture frames in one, you know, like like a basically like they
• 1:24:09
  would put like a family photo then yeah, I bought it like it's
• 1:24:12
  a pretty nice picture frame. What I wanted to do is go back
• 1:24:16
  to that thrift store and buy those wedding photos and put
• 1:24:21
  them in the picture frame and then and have it be like a
• 1:24:25
  double whammy like, hey, I got you this really nice picture
• 1:24:28
  frame. I wouldn't remember those
• 1:24:29
  wedding photos you told me I couldn't get at the thrift
• 1:24:32
  store. But I'm I didn't do it though,
• 1:24:36
  because she wouldn't have thought it was funny and only it
• 1:24:38
  would have been too much effort for no laugh basically.
• 1:24:41
  But. We would have thought it was
• 1:24:42
  funny. I dude, I would have thought it
• 1:24:44
  was hilarious but I just pictured me being the only one
• 1:24:49
  on Christmas Day laughing and also in the doghouse so I didn't
• 1:24:52
  do it. It wouldn't have.
• 1:24:55
  I wanted our first Christmas together to be cute and not not
• 1:24:59
  that, so I didn't do that. Jimmy, listen, if you ever end
• 1:25:03
  up in the doghouse that hard, there you go.
• 1:25:10
  Yep. That's that's all you buddy.
• 1:25:12
  Sharing a bed with you. If we're both, I mean, I'd
• 1:25:17
  probably be in the doghouse if you just showed up one day, so
• 1:25:20
  yeah, we'd be spooning on the couch.
• 1:25:22
  I just picture like, oh, is that?
• 1:25:24
  Is that the couch? That's a couch bed.
• 1:25:27
  Yeah. So that is well that is a love
• 1:25:29
  sack sectional that is configured in such a way that it
• 1:25:34
  fits a queen size mattress Topper in the event that
• 1:25:39
  somebody wanted to hypothetically of course, lay
• 1:25:43
  down and take a nap in this office, not bedroom in the
• 1:25:47
  basement of my house. See, I legit thought that was
• 1:25:50
  your guys's bed. So when you showed me your bed,
• 1:25:52
  like I thought you were offering me a space and you're in Jenna's
• 1:25:55
  bed. Now let's just picture the three
• 1:25:57
  of us. No.
• 1:26:03
  Move over, Jenna, I got it. Fucking cuddle Mike.
• 1:26:07
  Go get in the dog bed with Tripoli.
• 1:26:09
  Get the fuck out. We're cuddling, getting in the
• 1:26:12
  way, we're harmonizing our snoring.
• 1:26:19
  Fuck all the way off. Oh man, But yeah, what else?
• 1:26:28
  You. Got so some some feedback from
• 1:26:31
  published episodes that I've gotten, and I'm curious, Jimmy,
• 1:26:34
  if you've gotten anything else but one was that wow, you guys
• 1:26:39
  swear a lot. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, we
• 1:26:43
  fucking do. There's a reason that I clicked
• 1:26:45
  the button to be 18 and up on our Spotify.
• 1:26:51
  It's to protect the children because they don't need to hear
• 1:26:53
  us say fuck, shit, cunt, damn and bitch.
• 1:26:57
  On the other flavors of things. The next comment, which
• 1:27:03
  actually, astonishingly from the same fucking dude, is that he
• 1:27:09
  cannot wait for funny diaper changing stories.
• 1:27:14
  I have two or three that are pretty fucking good, but we'll
• 1:27:19
  save them for the next episode. And the last bit of feedback I
• 1:27:26
  got from fans of ours or just, you know, casual listeners,
• 1:27:30
  whatever we want to call them, was that stock photos and
• 1:27:35
  Christmas ornaments are, in fact, fucking funny.
• 1:27:38
  Yes, Maddie. Yes, that stock.
• 1:27:43
  Was in Christmas, shit is funny. Fuck.
• 1:27:46
  Yeah, there's not a single person, with the exception of
• 1:27:50
  Maddie, that I pulled that to that hasn't left.
• 1:27:53
  It's hilarious. I can literally name 1.
• 1:27:58
  It is so funny, like it's stupid, yes, like it is.
• 1:28:03
  It's definitely a weird thing that I'm passionate about, but
• 1:28:08
  it is funny like when, when I see when I see this young man's
• 1:28:13
  face in my Christmas tree, I laugh every time, dude.
• 1:28:16
  It warms my heart. Derek's.
• 1:28:19
  Derek's going to get a fucking STEM degree and six years when
• 1:28:23
  he gets into college. Derek's going to be the 4th man,
• 1:28:29
  the 4th DM dude. One day I think we got to find
• 1:28:35
  him. I hope he's not still 7.
• 1:28:40
  That would make us really weird. I'm assuming he's 7.
• 1:28:48
  I don't know. I don't a lot of a lot of a lot
• 1:28:54
  of days in that young man's life that I I feel like I missed.
• 1:28:57
  So I don't know, but I'm. So we've in the past, we've
• 1:29:08
  toyed around with the idea of hitting, hitting new stories
• 1:29:11
  that are just interesting, not necessarily related to anything
• 1:29:15
  or just in general interesting stories that come up on on like
• 1:29:20
  Google News, right? So one of them that caught my
• 1:29:25
  attention was a Apparently somehow the algorithm decided
• 1:29:31
  that The Economic Times quote of the day needs to needs to be
• 1:29:37
  seen my by my fucking eyeballs and on.
• 1:29:44
  Right. What you have to give me one
• 1:29:47
  second. I got that fucking meds.
• 1:29:52
  Edit this out, you bitch. I was.
• 1:29:55
  I was doing this. You weren't paying attention.
• 1:29:59
  No, I saw it and then I got to a logical stopping point and then
• 1:30:03
  I was like, oh, Gavin's go to walk.
• 1:30:05
  Did you? Did you take his headphones off?
• 1:30:09
  Now you can hear all this shit that we're going to talk.
• 1:30:14
  Oh, fucking hell. So yeah, like I said, let the
• 1:30:20
  record reflect that Gavin's been here since fucking day one.
• 1:30:25
  He just hasn't been on a microphone behind a webcam, or I
• 1:30:29
  guess in front of a webcam. It's because I've had neither of
• 1:30:33
  these things since yesterday. Yeah, yeah, our sponsor Rifle
• 1:30:40
  and Ratchet came in clutch and ordered him the mic and sound
• 1:30:44
  board setup and Merry Christmas. But do you have a webcam?
• 1:30:48
  Yep, thank you. Forgot what was.
• 1:30:56
  That fucking was that. Was a burp.
• 1:31:01
  Oh yes, a mouth fart. Like, yeah, it's like, well,
• 1:31:06
  Jimmy's got to go check pants. Hold on.
• 1:31:10
  So yeah, for whatever I'm going to need to see it, I'm going to
• 1:31:20
  need to inspect that butthole and make sure there's no Duke in
• 1:31:22
  there. You can send it to me via your
• 1:31:26
  fee Finder if you want. Freaking love I love having.
• 1:31:34
  The best thing we did was all get the same mic and fucking
• 1:31:39
  sound board set up and also the worst thing we did was give
• 1:31:44
  Jimmy a God damn sound board that he.
• 1:31:46
  Can control it's it's it's a lot of temptation.
• 1:31:54
  It's, it's going to be really hard to behave.
• 1:32:00
  It's just having all of this at my fingertips is, is really
• 1:32:05
  cool. You know what that sounds like?
• 1:32:08
  That sounds like something like you're on a microphone, like
• 1:32:11
  speaking to a crowd. You know, that's what that echo
• 1:32:15
  reminds me of. Like you're in a large room
• 1:32:17
  giving like a wedding speech, you know?
• 1:32:27
  So yeah, there's a hole, there's 12345, there's ten different
• 1:32:31
  sounds that we can press that hopefully you guys can hear.
• 1:32:36
  I can't hear them because I'm Bluetooth and on my wow, wow.
• 1:32:44
  Hey Mama, guns up. My I got some good ass sounds
• 1:32:51
  on. We got we got to figure out how
• 1:32:53
  to might need another sound board, I think.
• 1:32:58
  Oh God. Jimmy, what's an ass sound?
• 1:33:05
  It's a good one. We can clip that.
• 1:33:07
  Yeah, yeah. We can clip that.
• 1:33:09
  We need. I need another.
• 1:33:10
  In that second one. I need to get a sound board that
• 1:33:14
  where I can put my own sounds on.
• 1:33:19
  I think we all just need to move to Michigan.
• 1:33:21
  I agree and we can do this fucking bullshit in person.
• 1:33:24
  I agree. I agree.
• 1:33:26
  Or or Now hear me out. Nope.
• 1:33:29
  Hear me out. We all moved to Nebraska.
• 1:33:36
  I I see your face, Gavin. I.
• 1:33:39
  See your face? Corn in Nebraska.
• 1:33:42
  Corn and hairy women. Well, hopefully that's not going
• 1:33:48
  to fucking matter for you for for next forever.
• 1:33:53
  I was looking out for Gab. OK.
• 1:33:54
  Yeah. You know what eats all that
• 1:33:58
  fucking corn, Jimmy? Hairy women.
• 1:34:03
  And also like 180 inch fucking deer.
• 1:34:08
  No, no, no, no. Deer that make that thing
• 1:34:11
  hanging over your head look like it should have walked for
• 1:34:16
  another year. I held the fucking sheds, Jimmy.
• 1:34:21
  Of the girl. Fucking monsters out there bud.
• 1:34:23
  Nebraska. Yes, Nebraska.
• 1:34:26
  Where even is Nebraska on the map?
• 1:34:29
  It's in the United States. It's right in the fucking middle
• 1:34:32
  where all the corn is and the hairy women I.
• 1:34:34
  Feel like tornadoes on. Our entire demographic that's
• 1:34:38
  listening out of Nebraska. That's fine, they've got.
• 1:34:41
  What all the three of them .8% of hairy women that listen to
• 1:34:46
  our podcast? Yeah, damn, there goes my shot.
• 1:34:49
  Just kidding, Jess, I love you. Don't.
• 1:34:52
  Don't stop listening. That was a joke.
• 1:34:54
  I don't think you're a hairy woman, but you might eat corn.
• 1:34:57
  I guess is. She in Nebraska.
• 1:35:01
  For legal reasons, maybe. Definitely hairy.
• 1:35:05
  Probably, yeah. OK, so welcome to the Two Damn
• 1:35:08
  Dudes podcast. Listen, my step sister-in-law is
• 1:35:17
  the only female that I can confirm actually listens to any
• 1:35:20
  of these fucking episodes. So I'm not going to talk shit
• 1:35:23
  about her because I found out over Christmas that she and I
• 1:35:27
  are the family emergency fucking response team because my niece
• 1:35:32
  fucking found the corner of the cat tree that is on top of the
• 1:35:36
  cat litter like cabinet and punched a hole through her
• 1:35:40
  fucking scalp. So she and I got to go in there
• 1:35:44
  and play fucking CLS Marine and whatever the fuck the Navy calls
• 1:35:49
  CLS. There's there's Corpsman and
• 1:35:56
  then there's. I mean, they're still.
• 1:36:02
  CLS. Candor, Yeah.
• 1:36:06
  No, but she's a, she's a reformed MP or MA or whatever
• 1:36:12
  the fuck you guys call it. Yeah, but she's super, she's
• 1:36:18
  super duper fucking cool. So heard kids running around,
• 1:36:24
  you know, as one does at a family get together at
• 1:36:27
  Christmas, and then heard thunk and then kid kept running and
• 1:36:33
  then about 30 seconds later heard crying that turned into
• 1:36:39
  screaming. And I'm sitting on the couch
• 1:36:41
  with my third drink for the day going.
• 1:36:47
  That's not my kid. That's not my problem.
• 1:36:52
  And then about 30 seconds after that, I hear, oh, that's a lot
• 1:36:56
  of blood. And I went.
• 1:36:57
  Well, that's now my fucking problem.
• 1:37:01
  Head wounds bleed like crazy. Just like dude.
• 1:37:05
  Heads and faces, just they just bleed like a ridiculous amount.
• 1:37:10
  Yeah, like I remember when I was a little boy, I was playing on
• 1:37:16
  the other side of the fence. There was another little boy and
• 1:37:18
  we were playing and he threw a like on the.
• 1:37:21
  Small. Yeah, very similar.
• 1:37:26
  Great ending by the way. You guys want to watch a good
• 1:37:28
  movie? No spoilers, I haven't seen it
• 1:37:34
  yet. This is really sick of me but
• 1:37:36
  I've never laughed harder on a movie is when I saw that.
• 1:37:40
  But I talk about a fucking plot twist.
• 1:37:46
  Dude. I remember I was in high school
• 1:37:51
  and the girl I was dating was telling me that she cried
• 1:37:54
  hysterically at that movie. And I watched it because, you
• 1:37:57
  know, I wanted to have something to talk about with her.
• 1:38:00
  And I very quickly became an asshole because I laughed really
• 1:38:04
  hard at that movie, at the. End there was that Swamp Thing.
• 1:38:09
  No, no. And I love that we call her that
• 1:38:15
  does. Anybody else know that we call
• 1:38:17
  her that or do I have to edit that out?
• 1:38:19
  No, keep it in. I think just me and you.
• 1:38:25
  I think me and you are the only ones that call her that.
• 1:38:27
  I don't remember why I started calling her that.
• 1:38:32
  I have no idea. But fuck, what were we talking
• 1:38:38
  about before you? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 1:38:40
  So the boy on the other side of the fence, he threw the small
• 1:38:42
  log and it hit me in the head. And honestly, it, it, it opened
• 1:38:47
  it just, it, it tore the scalp just a, just a little bit like a
• 1:38:51
  pinhole, barely even a cut. My whole fucking head was just
• 1:38:57
  doused in blood. Dude, I thought I was dying.
• 1:38:59
  The kid. It was funny because we hadn't
• 1:39:01
  met that kid's parents before. And his parents came running
• 1:39:05
  over because he ran in the house.
• 1:39:08
  He he I had to have been like 7 which this little boy had to
• 1:39:15
  have been like 5 and he ran into the house screaming I killed the
• 1:39:20
  neighbor kid. I killed the neighbor kid
• 1:39:23
  because he thought he killed me based off of the amount of
• 1:39:26
  blood. And what's funny is I forgot all
• 1:39:28
  about this until you brought this up.
• 1:39:30
  Like this memory just came running back to me.
• 1:39:33
  So like my parents are like washing my hair trying to find
• 1:39:35
  why I'm bleeding so heavily, trying to get the blood to stop
• 1:39:38
  and everything. It is crazy how much I had an
• 1:39:41
  open an open head wound blades man it's nuts.
• 1:39:45
  Yeah. Yeah, but right here, that
• 1:39:48
  whole, wow, that's a lot of blood and I'm up and moving
• 1:39:52
  toward where I heard that from. And I see that Jess is also
• 1:39:56
  moving in that direction. And I'm like, all right, sick.
• 1:40:00
  At least somebody else who is like been basically trained on
• 1:40:04
  how to apply a fucking tourniquet and treat for
• 1:40:06
  bleeding is on deck and we're we're good.
• 1:40:11
  So I'm just going to interject and say if you're applying A
• 1:40:15
  tourniquet to the head, I think you're doing it wrong.
• 1:40:17
  I can. Do it around the neck.
• 1:40:25
  Listen, listen my daydreams. Off it just starts choking up
• 1:40:29
  this fucking kid because she ran into a fucking kitten hand
• 1:40:33
  though dude. Listen, my daydreams and reality
• 1:40:37
  are not the same things, OK? My neck does not.
• 1:40:41
  None of my belts fit well, all right?
• 1:40:43
  I've tested them all, and none of my guns taste good either.
• 1:40:47
  They all taste like CLPI. Mean 9 nose not bad it's.
• 1:40:50
  Fucking bullshit. But we're over there like
• 1:40:54
  starting out with like just dry paper towels trying to find out
• 1:40:58
  where the fucking bleed is coming from and whether it's a
• 1:41:02
  gash or a cut or a, a puncture or what the fuck is going on.
• 1:41:09
  And get to the point where we're like, all right, cool.
• 1:41:13
  It's a puncture which branches off to fuck.
• 1:41:16
  It's a puncture. That means my primary concern
• 1:41:20
  becomes infection. So right, transition from dry
• 1:41:25
  paper towel to wet paper towel to plan on some of the blood and
• 1:41:29
  try to just like make sure that that is in fact the only spot
• 1:41:32
  that is a problem. And then move to like legitimate
• 1:41:37
  gauze just hovering the wound and lightly.
• 1:41:41
  No, you're not packing a fucking head wound.
• 1:41:44
  I mean, if it's a, it depends on how the puncture is.
• 1:41:47
  If it's just like a little gas, you just kind of stuff it and
• 1:41:51
  then. Wrap.
• 1:41:51
  Yeah, just just apply it, apply direct pressure and then wrap.
• 1:41:56
  But you're not. You're not.
• 1:41:57
  I OK, I don't mean packing as in like you're fucking threading
• 1:42:01
  like quick clot into it. I mean like you put a piece of
• 1:42:05
  gauze to like put pressure into the puncture.
• 1:42:09
  Yeah. And I mean, worst case, like
• 1:42:11
  right, you're not going to put an H compression bandage on it.
• 1:42:14
  But like, you can put a single twist over the spot to apply
• 1:42:19
  pressure on the spot however, right?
• 1:42:24
  Applying light direct pressure with gauze and swapping out
• 1:42:29
  every probably 45 seconds to a minute and then transitioning
• 1:42:34
  from holding pressure with gauze to wiping blood with a fucking
• 1:42:40
  wet paper towel eventually And right, this felt like forever
• 1:42:45
  but grand scheme of things probably took all of 6 minutes,
• 1:42:50
  maybe got the bleeding to actually fucking stop.
• 1:42:57
  And no one was more astonished than me.
• 1:43:01
  I'm like holy fuck it's not bleeding anymore.
• 1:43:04
  Holy shit it worked. I still remember my training,
• 1:43:08
  fuck. Right.
• 1:43:12
  But yeah, my niece ended up going to, I don't remember if it
• 1:43:16
  was urgent care or the hospital and getting looked at because
• 1:43:20
  like, right, there's a lot of things you just don't fuck with.
• 1:43:23
  And the. Head, head, neck or back injury
• 1:43:27
  is number 11 and 1:00 on that list of things that like, hey, I
• 1:43:33
  can, I can get it good enough, but you need to go see a real
• 1:43:38
  adult because I'm not a real adult.
• 1:43:41
  I can get you good enough to travel, but I know go see, go
• 1:43:46
  see a, go see a doctor. But they, they fucking glued the
• 1:43:52
  spot shut and she was back in like 4 hours.
• 1:43:58
  And it, yeah, just that like, I feel like one of these episodes
• 1:44:03
  we're going to talk about the proverbial switch and when that
• 1:44:09
  flips and what happens afterward.
• 1:44:11
  Yeah, definitely not in this episode, because we're at an
• 1:44:15
  hour 52 and 16 seconds. I was gonna say we're we've been
• 1:44:19
  going for a little while. But but yeah, we will, we will
• 1:44:24
  talk about that switch and when it flips.
• 1:44:28
  But to call back to the whole news story thing that I think we
• 1:44:35
  talked about, but whiskey, I mean, bourbon's a beautiful
• 1:44:39
  thing. I apparent, yeah, 'cause The
• 1:44:42
  Economic Times, apparently my algorithm on my news, my actual
• 1:44:47
  news, don't laugh at me. Jim, it's like 20 fucking
• 1:44:50
  minutes ago. I know I didn't remember, buddy.
• 1:44:54
  You know how many times this thing has gotten hit and not
• 1:44:57
  bled a lot? Like we we didn't talk about
• 1:45:02
  that with the thought we talked about that an hour ago.
• 1:45:05
  We talked about the fact that it was a thing, and then we
• 1:45:08
  sidetracked real fucking. Yeah.
• 1:45:10
  Yes. But apparently The Economic
• 1:45:12
  Times is on my news news feed, not on my Facebook news feed.
• 1:45:17
  And it it gave me a a quote of the day.
• 1:45:21
  And funny enough, it's given me quotes of the day since then
• 1:45:25
  when I started realizing it was giving me quotes of the day.
• 1:45:30
  And I don't know when I put this in there, but it was last
• 1:45:32
  updated 29 December. So it's at least accurate as of
• 1:45:38
  yesterday. But it's a The title is Quote of
• 1:45:44
  the Day by Aristotle, and the quote is.
• 1:45:48
  You've got pants, shit them. Be a man.
• 1:45:54
  Be a man. The these guys are funny as
• 1:45:59
  fuck. The quote by Aristotle is anyone
• 1:46:05
  can become angry, that is easy, but to be angry with the right
• 1:46:12
  person and to the right degree, at the right time and for the
• 1:46:17
  right purpose and in the right way.
• 1:46:21
  God, Aristotle, have you not heard of fucking commas?
• 1:46:26
  That is not within everybody's power and is not easy.
• 1:46:34
  So according to Aristotle, it is not easy to be angry with the
• 1:46:38
  right people to the right degree, at the right time, for
• 1:46:41
  the right purpose, in the right way.
• 1:46:44
  And you know what? Whenever he fucking wrote that
• 1:46:47
  some fucking amount of years ago, I I would argue that that's
• 1:46:54
  still fucking rings true. Oh absolutely.
• 1:46:58
  It takes a certain level of intent and emotional like
• 1:47:06
  maturity and intellectualism to be able to take that step back
• 1:47:15
  and kind of rein in, be like, yeah, OK, I'm angry.
• 1:47:19
  Why am I angry? I'm angry at this person for
• 1:47:24
  this thing. Cause dealing with CPTSDPTSD,
• 1:47:32
  all the kind of flavors of it, you know how easy it is for
• 1:47:37
  anger to come up and just be ever present where it is.
• 1:47:44
  OK, I'm angry, but I'm angry at fucking everything and everyone
• 1:47:50
  right now. So being able to take that step
• 1:47:54
  back, that's definitely something I can say I've
• 1:47:58
  struggled with. So I can relate to that heavily.
• 1:48:12
  Yeah, and that's actually that's a really good fucking point that
• 1:48:21
  we will definitely be diving into in subsequent episodes.
• 1:48:26
  So things that I've written down for next episode ideas are the
• 1:48:30
  switch and being emotionally aware and present in the moment,
• 1:48:39
  which I think is probably Harkins.
• 1:48:41
  So what you were just getting at of being able to identify like,
• 1:48:45
  hey, this is the emotion. It's presenting as anger.
• 1:48:49
  But I know that anger is a secondary emotion, and there's
• 1:48:52
  something behind that anger that is driving me to be angry and
• 1:48:56
  causing me to outwardly be this fucking person.
• 1:49:01
  And it's probably not entirely a military background that tells
• 1:49:04
  me that violence and force of action keeps me alive.
• 1:49:10
  But we will definitely dig into the psychology and all of that
• 1:49:13
  fucking wonky brain shit. Next.
• 1:49:16
  In another episode, because boys, we are almost at 2 hours.
• 1:49:20
  Absolutely, I agree with that. It's been a good two hours,
• 1:49:25
  though. It was a good.
• 1:49:26
  Two hours I feel like we've talked about some really like we
• 1:49:30
  hit some some heavy shit and then we we laughed about your
• 1:49:37
  your other son that we. Only sometimes talk about.
• 1:49:42
  And I say that because I keep forgetting his fucking name.
• 1:49:46
  It's Derek. God damn, we talked about Derek.
• 1:49:50
  That was fucking funny. OK, Yep, that's how we know the
• 1:49:53
  episodes coming to an end when the bourbon is hitting Mike.
• 1:49:59
  Yeah, yeah, it hit 30 fucking minutes ago and we just kept
• 1:50:02
  fucking going, all right? But we will.
• 1:50:06
  We will definitely be talking about some of those things in
• 1:50:09
  future episodes. So boys, let's get to a sign
• 1:50:12
  off. Jimmy, you got any?
• 1:50:13
  You got any saved rounds or alibis?
• 1:50:17
  I got to find a little catch phrase to end my episodes on for
• 1:50:20
  this podcast. I haven't.
• 1:50:23
  I haven't put any thought in. You don't want to.
• 1:50:24
  You don't want to tell people to keep their lives crossed.
• 1:50:27
  No, no, no. And that would be really funny.
• 1:50:34
  Just steal other catch phrases and use it on this one.
• 1:50:38
  That would be. Hilarious.
• 1:50:40
  Is that? Is that Bobby's catch phrase?
• 1:50:42
  Yeah, some of our at some of our listeners will.
• 1:50:46
  It'll be like Easter eggs for some of our listeners, Like,
• 1:50:49
  yeah. Yeah, yeah, for for Joe, our
• 1:50:53
  only listener that knows about both of your lives.
• 1:50:56
  We've got it. We've.
• 1:50:57
  Both of your families, we have a.
• 1:50:59
  Few, I think. I think we have a few that that
• 1:51:01
  came over. I'm not 100%.
• 1:51:05
  I mean not necessarily that came over, but are dabbling in in
• 1:51:08
  both a little. Bit both.
• 1:51:10
  In both, yeah, yeah. Because it's not, it's not a
• 1:51:12
  competition. It's not about who, No, who has
• 1:51:15
  more, who has less or who's taken from what.
• 1:51:17
  Like we, we can both occupy this space and coexist.
• 1:51:22
  Yeah, absolutely. So, but yeah, no, I'll come up,
• 1:51:28
  I'll come up with something I'm sure I kind of want to touch
• 1:51:32
  actually, you know, just kind of want to touch on.
• 1:51:37
  Might bring this up a couple times, you know, so because you
• 1:51:40
  never know when, when listeners are going to start.
• 1:51:42
  Are they going to start on episode 1 or are they going to
• 1:51:44
  come across this one? You know, as a group, you know,
• 1:51:49
  as we as we progress and pick up sponsors, I think it's important
• 1:51:53
  for our listeners to know that when we when we pick up a
• 1:51:57
  sponsor, it is going to be a company that we fully back and
• 1:52:01
  stand behind. You know, something that we use
• 1:52:04
  rifle and Ratchet did my 450 Bushmaster.
• 1:52:09
  The reason why my gun looks so fucking cool is because of rifle
• 1:52:12
  and Ratchet. He did, he did the work on my
• 1:52:15
  gun. He's done work for people that I
• 1:52:19
  know Andy's family, but so we definitely stand behind
• 1:52:25
  definitely stand behind anybody that we choose as sponsors.
• 1:52:29
  It's not like we're just going around looking for companies
• 1:52:33
  that we that'll just throw US money or anything, you know, so
• 1:52:37
  we have integrity and stuff like that.
• 1:52:39
  So if if we are willing to say that were brought to you by
• 1:52:42
  somebody, it's because we fully stand behind the the company and
• 1:52:45
  what they and what they do so. Absolutely.
• 1:52:48
  This isn't, it's not about the money for us, it's about just
• 1:52:52
  engaging with the audience and making sure y'all are having as
• 1:52:56
  good of the time as we are through all this debauchery.
• 1:53:01
  So. I mean, right, it's, it's about
• 1:53:05
  engaging with the audience, but it's also about making sure that
• 1:53:10
  the three of us carve out time in the week to just get on and,
• 1:53:17
  and check in and bullshit, right?
• 1:53:20
  It's, it's making sure that we're maintaining that
• 1:53:22
  relationship. And that is more important than
• 1:53:25
  I have words for right now because I killed my bottle of
• 1:53:28
  bourbon earlier. So I'm going to try.
• 1:53:33
  But really, this whole thing for me, the root of it was having
• 1:53:39
  that constant reminder to to reach out to the dudes, to the
• 1:53:43
  goons, to the boys, to the guys that I served with, the dudes
• 1:53:46
  that I was adjacent to, to the dudes that I was downrange with.
• 1:53:50
  And, and giving me that reminder to reach out and say like, hey,
• 1:53:54
  man, I hope you're doing OK. And whether I get a response or
• 1:53:58
  not, like, it doesn't matter because I know at the end of the
• 1:54:00
  day, like Luke said on the last episode, that message is going
• 1:54:04
  to be there. Or, you know, that Facebook
• 1:54:07
  video is going to be in someone's Messenger account.
• 1:54:10
  It's going to fucking be there. And maybe on a bad day they're
• 1:54:14
  going to be like, damn, this guy sent me 400 fucking videos over
• 1:54:17
  the last year and a half. What the fuck is this guy's
• 1:54:21
  leave me the fuck alone? Or like damn, that guy thought
• 1:54:24
  about me 400 times over the last 480 days.
• 1:54:30
  Now. OK, somebody does give a shit.
• 1:54:33
  If you take what Luke said and instead of looking at looking at
• 1:54:38
  it as from the perspective as this is a friend reaching out
• 1:54:42
  and you like like pretend it's coming from a stalker, it
• 1:54:45
  completely changes the meaning of everything that that Luke
• 1:54:48
  said, man. I mean, yeah, that's why you
• 1:54:50
  don't send randos fucking Facebook videos or call them 400
• 1:54:55
  * / a year and a half. That's why you called the boys
• 1:54:59
  that. Is that Maddie?
• 1:55:00
  Why are you? Flipping me off.
• 1:55:02
  Why isn't she flipping you off? Jimmy, she came in hot boys.
• 1:55:07
  You tired of fuck all? Middle finger flying.
• 1:55:10
  Damn. I can hear her.
• 1:55:16
  She said don't put shit on my cat's bed asshole because I had
• 1:55:19
  the GoPro case sitting on the cat condo we just got.
• 1:55:22
  Oh, it's her cat now. Beads is a Beads is a damn dude.
• 1:55:26
  Damn Beads is not Maddie's. Dude, I know the audacity.
• 1:55:36
  Maddie. What's funny is she can't hear
• 1:55:48
  you, but she did it because she didn't hear.
• 1:55:53
  She didn't hear you. That's why she's like, Oh no, I
• 1:55:57
  can hear it a little bit. Maybe don't tell her that I told
• 1:56:01
  her she sounds like a fucking Tuscan Raider.
• 1:56:03
  Because I don't have to get fought by your girlfriend.
• 1:56:06
  She'd whoop your ass I think Probably.
• 1:56:09
  Probably because I have a. She beats me.
• 1:56:11
  I've got a time. Yeah.
• 1:56:12
  Whatever. Yeah.
• 1:56:16
  Jimmy, listen, keep breathing if you're in danger, all right?
• 1:56:21
  Gavin. Hey, we got to go.
• 1:56:23
  We got. To go now.
• 1:56:24
  And I think I just shook my pants again.
• 1:56:27
  Again, All right, I want. To talk about it.
• 1:56:35
  OK, so for Jimmy, for Gavin, for and for Maddie, this has been an
• 1:56:41
  episode of the Three Dams. Dude, holy fucking shit.
• 1:56:45
  This has been an episode of the Three Damn News Podcast.
• 1:56:47
  Thanks for fucking showing up.