Latest / Leadership Sandbox: Strategies to Uplevel Workplace Communication, Team Collaboration, and Your Corporate Culture / Episode 145: What Dolly Parton Taught Us About A Life Well Led

Transcript

Episode 145: What Dolly Parton Taught Us About A Life Well Led · Leadership Sandbox: Strategies to Uplevel Workplace Communication, Team Collaboration, and Your Corporate Culture

• 0:12
  Hey friends, welcome back to the leadership sandbox.
• 0:15
  This is the space where we challenge what leaders believe.
• 0:19
  We expose what the behaviors are that they're tolerating,
• 0:23
  also their own behaviors that are creating an environment that may not
• 0:28
  be what they want, all the way to equipping you to lead
• 0:33
  people exceptionally well.
• 0:35
  That is ultimately our goal.
• 0:37
  and equipping you as a leader to lead people exceptionally well.
• 0:42
  I am your host, Tammy J.
• 0:44
  Bond, and excited to have you join me today in the sandbox.
• 0:49
  And today's episode is gonna be a little bit different.
• 0:54
  It's more personal for me.
• 0:56
  It's been a week of interesting developments.
• 0:59
  This is the week that we lost Dolly Parton And if you
• 1:04
  grew up listening to country music like I did,
• 1:08
  you probably just didn't listen to Dolly.
• 1:11
  Somehow she became part of your life.
• 1:14
  You see, I grew up listening to Dolly on an AM radio
• 1:19
  in the truck on the way to horse shows as a kid.
• 1:24
  And there was something about her voice and her stories and the
• 1:29
  way that she carried herself that stuck with me for all of
• 1:34
  these years.
• 1:35
  You know, my mom used to tease the heck out of her
• 1:40
  hair and get it really big and poofy, just like Dolly did.
• 1:45
  And I remember thinking, wow.
• 1:48
  That's really great.
• 1:49
  Maybe I can wear a wig too one day.
• 1:53
  But you know, this morning, as I was sitting drinking my cup
• 1:58
  of coffee and I'm listening to her music and I'm scrolling and reading,
• 2:03
  like probably many of you have been doing,
• 2:07
  all of the things that Dolly did and what she was creating.
• 2:12
  And I was thinking about her life.
• 2:15
  I was thinking about her faith, her stamina, her humor, her business brilliance,
• 2:21
  her generosity that overflowed.
• 2:22
  And the consistency with which she always showed up in the world.
• 2:27
  You know, Dolly Parton didn't simply build an extraordinary career,
• 2:32
  she built an extraordinary life.
• 2:34
  And there's a difference.
• 2:36
  A career is often measured by what you accomplish, what you do,
• 2:41
  and a life is measured by what you contribute,
• 2:45
  how you make others feel in the process, what you stand for,
• 2:50
  and what becomes possible for other people because.
• 2:53
  You were there.
• 2:55
  You were here.
• 2:56
  People talk about Dolly from a perspective of what she or how
• 3:01
  she impacted them.
• 3:02
  They don't talk about all that she produced.
• 3:06
  They talk about who she was.
• 3:08
  And that they talk about how she made them feel, how the music,
• 3:14
  yes, made them feel, but they talk about her kindness.
• 3:18
  Her humility, her faith, her generosity.
• 3:21
  They talk about her ability to enter a room and somehow make
• 3:26
  other people feel seen in the process.
• 3:29
  And that's not just charisma, it's contribution.
• 3:32
  And it raises the question I believe every leader,
• 3:36
  every human being needs to answer.
• 3:38
  Are you creating a body of work or are you creating a
• 3:43
  body of evidence that you were here, that you made a difference?
• 3:49
  Because many of us have become incredibly good at human doings.
• 3:53
  We produce, we answer, we solve, we fix, we manage, we tolerate,
• 3:58
  we attend meetings.
• 4:00
  That's the tolerating part.
• 4:01
  We respond to messages quickly, promptly.
• 4:04
  We race from one task and obligation to the next,
• 4:08
  convincing ourselves that productivity is the proof that our lives matter.
• 4:13
  We wear exhaustion as evidence of our value.
• 4:16
  And look how needed I am.
• 4:19
  Look how much I carry.
• 4:21
  Look how many problems I solve becomes that badge of courage.
• 4:26
  But being constantly needed and being constantly in the know is not
• 4:31
  always evidence of great leadership.
• 4:33
  Sometimes it's evidence that we've built systems and teams and lives that depend.
• 4:39
  Too heavily on us.
• 4:40
  Eventually, all that doing begins to crowd out our being.
• 4:45
  Let that land.
• 4:46
  We become our titles, our calendars, our appointments, our accomplishments, our responsibilities,
• 4:51
  Dolly showed us something different.
• 4:53
  She worked incredibly hard, but she never appeared to confuse her work
• 4:58
  with her worth.
• 5:00
  She knew who she was.
• 5:02
  She wasn't always seeking applause.
• 5:04
  She knew what she believed, what she stood for, where she came from,
• 5:10
  her roots.
• 5:10
  She understood her giftings and she used them to bless others.
• 5:15
  She never diminished herself through the laughter.
• 5:18
  She pointed out.
• 5:20
  Where there was opportunity to laugh at oneself and not take yourself
• 5:25
  so seriously.
• 5:26
  She could make light of her carefully created image,
• 5:29
  but that humor never made her less credible because Dolly, Dolly got serious.
• 5:35
  And when she did that, people listened.
• 5:38
  They leaned in further.
• 5:40
  Why?
• 5:40
  Because there was enormous substance behind the image.
• 5:44
  She understood business.
• 5:45
  She understood personal ownership.
• 5:47
  She understood her audience.
• 5:48
  And she understood that brand is not simply a logo, a color palette,
• 5:54
  or a catchphrase.
• 5:55
  A brand is the expectation people carry about who you will be
• 6:00
  when you show up.
• 6:02
  Dolly's brand was remarkably consistent.
• 6:04
  You expected warmth.
• 6:05
  You expected humor.
• 6:07
  You expected excellence.
• 6:08
  You expected her faith to show up.
• 6:11
  Her generosity, you expected Dolly to be Dolly.
• 6:14
  And that may sound simple, but there's tremendous discipline behind the kind
• 6:20
  of consistency.
• 6:20
  Many leaders change depending on who enters the room.
• 6:24
  They're one person with their employees, another person with their customers,
• 6:29
  and someone completely different with the board member.
• 6:32
  And when the person with power enters the conversation, they change.
• 6:37
  Their values change under pressure.
• 6:39
  Their standards change when accountability becomes uncomfortable.
• 6:42
  Their behavior changes depending on who's watching.
• 6:45
  Then they wonder why people don't trust them, why people are leaving,
• 6:50
  why people are shutting them out.
• 6:53
  People struggle to trust what they cannot consistently predict.
• 6:57
  Dolly's life reminds us of that.
• 6:59
  Consistency doesn't isn't about becoming rigid, right?
• 7:02
  Or perfectly polished.
• 7:04
  It means that there's a recognizable thread running through your decisions and
• 7:09
  your actions and your contribution.
• 7:11
  The question is not whether you make mistakes.
• 7:14
  The question is whether people can still recognize who you are when
• 7:20
  life becomes difficult.
• 7:21
  They can recognize your values.
• 7:23
  Can they recognize your character?
• 7:25
  Can they recognize how you treat people when there is nothing for
• 7:30
  you to gain?
• 7:32
  That is your real brand.
• 7:34
  Not the image you manufacture, the experience you repeatedly create.
• 7:38
  Dolly also understood the difference between attention and contribution.
• 7:42
  Attention asks, did they notice me?
• 7:45
  Contribution asks.
• 7:45
  Did something become better because I was here?
• 7:49
  Those two are very different ways to move through the world, friend.
• 7:54
  Attention wants recognition.
• 7:55
  Contribution accepts responsibility.
• 7:57
  Attention needs an audience.
• 7:58
  Contribution is willing to work quietly.
• 8:01
  Attention asks how many people are watching.
• 8:04
  Contribution asks how many people are being served.
• 8:07
  Dolly certainly knew how to capture attention, but she also knew what
• 8:12
  to do with that attention once she had it.
• 8:16
  She redirected it towards something larger than herself.
• 8:20
  She used her success to create jobs.
• 8:23
  She used her influence to support communities.
• 8:26
  She used her resources to put books into the hands of children.
• 8:31
  She used her voice to remind people that.
• 8:34
  Where they begin does not determine how far they can go.
• 8:39
  That is what it looks like to turn visibility into responsibility.
• 8:44
  And leaders, that's where I want to challenge you.
• 8:48
  What are you doing with the influence you already have?
• 8:52
  Not the influence you hope to have someday.
• 8:55
  Not the platform you're still trying to build,
• 8:59
  not the audience you believe you need before you can make a difference.
• 9:04
  What are you doing with what you already have in your hands?
• 9:09
  Who becomes braver because of the way you lead?
• 9:13
  Who becomes more capable?
• 9:15
  Who feels seen?
• 9:16
  Who discovers a possibility they could not see before you entered their life?
• 9:22
  What are you building that can continue serving people when you're no
• 9:27
  longer standing in the center of it?
• 9:30
  Because true leadership is not measured by how lost everyone becomes when
• 9:35
  you leave.
• 9:36
  It's measured by what continues because you were there.
• 9:40
  Dolly Parton built things that will continue on without her.
• 9:44
  And people she never met will continue discovering that their dreams are
• 9:49
  not ridiculous simply because they're big.
• 9:52
  That's legacy.
• 9:53
  Legacy is built through ordinary decisions we make every day.
• 9:57
  It's built in how we treat the person who cannot do anything
• 10:02
  for us.
• 10:03
  It's built in whether we tell the truth when silence would be easier.
• 10:09
  It's built in whether the private behavior matches our public message.
• 10:13
  And it's built in whether we use our power to elevate ourselves
• 10:19
  or expand the possibilities for others around us.
• 10:22
  And it's built Whether we remain connected.
• 10:25
  To who we are while accomplishing everything we're here to do.
• 10:30
  So, how do we stop being consumed by human doing and begin
• 10:35
  leading ourselves as whole human beings?
• 10:37
  We begin separating our worth from our productivity.
• 10:41
  You're not more valuable because your calendar is full.
• 10:45
  You're not more important because everyone needs something from you.
• 10:49
  And you're not leading exceptionally well if your success requires you to
• 10:54
  disappear from your own life.
• 10:56
  We begin asking better questions.
• 10:58
  Not only what did I accomplish today, but who was I while
• 11:04
  I was accomplishing it?
• 11:05
  Did I create clarity?
• 11:07
  Did I add value?
• 11:09
  Did I demonstrate courage?
• 11:10
  Did I treat people with dignity?
• 11:13
  Did I contribute something meaningful?
• 11:15
  More importantly, did my behavior match what I claim to believe?
• 11:20
  Perhaps the biggest question, if I continue living and leading exactly as
• 11:25
  I am today, will I be proud of the life that creates?
• 11:30
  And that's a hard question.
• 11:32
  Because it removes our good intentions from the equation and it forces
• 11:37
  us to examine the evidence.
• 11:40
  Dolly Parton's life leaves us with evidence, evidence of her creativity and
• 11:45
  discipline and faith, evidence of business brilliance.
• 11:48
  evidence of extraordinary generosity and evidence that you can be wildly successful
• 11:53
  without becoming disconnected from your humanity.
• 11:55
  You do not need Dolly's voice, you do not need her platform,
• 12:01
  you do not need her business empire.
• 12:04
  You need the courage to know who you are at every turn.
• 12:09
  You need the discipline to remain consistent.
• 12:12
  You need humility To laugh at yourself without diminishing yourself.
• 12:16
  And she did that so well.
• 12:19
  And the generosity to use what you have to be of service
• 12:24
  beyond yourself.
• 12:25
  Lead yourself well enough that your work sounds just like you.
• 12:29
  Lead yourself well enough that success expands your ability to contribute rather
• 12:34
  than feeding your need to feel important.
• 12:37
  And live in such a way that the people you touch are
• 12:43
  better because you were here.
• 12:45
  That's more than building a successful career.
• 12:48
  That's building a life of contribution.
• 12:50
  That's building a legacy.
• 12:52
  That's a life well led.
• 12:54
  And Dolly Parton showed us how beautifully it could be done.
• 12:59
  Thank you, Dolly, for the music, for the laughter, for the memories,
• 13:04
  for the books, for the faith, and for the example that you led.
• 13:10
  And for reminding us that we never need to make ourselves smaller
• 13:15
  to make other people feel seen.
• 13:17
  I will always love you.
• 13:20
  Until next time, friends, remember great leadership is not the exception,
• 13:24
  it's the expectation.
• 13:26
  Lead yourself well before leading others.
• 13:28
  God bless you.