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Everyday Trance V: Paths out of Hypnosis. Methods and Tools · Gabriel Ellis, PhD | The Curious Mind Podcast

0:01
Hello everyone and welcome to another episode of the Curious
0:04
Mind podcast. My name is Gabriel Ellis and
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today I conclude the series about the other day trance.
0:12
Basically by enumerating many methods and tools that you can
0:16
use in order to reduce the trance effect of the mind.
0:20
Theoretically it is possible to destroy the trance completely,
0:24
but only this is possible if the mental operating system itself
0:29
is changed, because, as I have shown in the last episodes, the
0:34
mind as it is is inevitably a trans producing machine.
0:39
Such a fundamental change in the way the mind functions, like a
0:43
destruction of the trans would be, is a promise part of the
0:48
promise at least of the salvation.
0:50
Mostly in spiritual tradition, sometimes also in religious
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traditions, and as far as we can tell, it started the earliest in
0:59
ancient India with the different religious and spiritual
1:02
traditions there were at that time.
1:05
What seems to be happening with the destruction of the mind and
1:11
the trends of the mind completely is that the layers of
1:18
the mind are filled with not content, but the understanding
1:23
of the mechanics of the mind. This means that when you have a
1:28
feeling, that feeling does not trigger a memory or a thought or
1:34
another mental activity, but instead a feeling is directly
1:37
followed by understanding of the specific feeling as a content of
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the general category of feeling. The perception, again, is not
1:47
followed by a thought, a feeling, a memory or so, but
1:52
followed by an understanding of this specific perception as a
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content of the general category of perception.
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In other words, I understand that the mind must have
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feelings, must have perceptions, and this specific feeling or
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perception that I have is just an inevitable expression of the
2:15
mind machine itself. You probably know the saying
2:20
that if a person becomes unpleasant towards me, that says
2:23
more about them than about me. And you can understand the same
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in a similar way with the mind and its feelings, thoughts and
2:31
convictions. The feeling, thoughts and
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convictions say more about the nature of the mind than about
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the specific content. And this seems to be an integral
2:42
part of what if you want to believe it.
2:45
Enlightened masters are the have as a normal mode of functioning.
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There is always a full understanding that what is in
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the mind, the content of the mind is an expression of the
2:59
mind. Well, if it exists at all.
3:03
Such a destruction, complete destruction of the trans is
3:07
impossible to almost all people. If you want to read a report
3:12
that I find very interesting from a Buddhist teacher and how
3:15
he describes his claimed destruction of the trans and a
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Buddhist term for trans would be avijah which means delusion.
3:25
You can read it in the teachers called Mahabua and for example
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in the lecture series entitled The Path to Arahanship.
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Arahanship means that state of complete salvation or freedom
3:40
from suffering in Buddhist terms.
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And I will leave a link to the site where you find many
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lectures of Mahabua and also this book The Path to our
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Handship. In the description there you can
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also see how much spiritual talent, motivation and years of
4:00
almost non-stop day at night practice are needed to actually
4:05
implement this. There are teachers today who
4:09
think that this complete destruction of the trans can be
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done much more easily and much more quickly, but I would be
4:18
extremely skeptical about this. Also, from my years of
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experience and going to meditation centers, meeting
4:25
teachers, being in monasteries, where I think that even in those
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circles where people dedicate the whole life basically to the
4:34
'cause this is still an extremely, extremely rare case.
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Nevertheless, even if we are not able to completely destroy all
4:45
the possibilities in the mind to produce any trance, then just
4:49
reducing the trance I think can make life worth living.
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And at least this is in my experience as a therapist, and
4:59
it can prevent us from getting lost in trances that are too
5:02
deep or too unhealthy. What you need to know however,
5:07
is that all the concepts and tools, the ones that are well
5:11
presented now, but also the ones that you find in from other
5:15
teachers or self development or self self help videos, all of
5:19
these concepts are tools because they don't create a permanent
5:24
solution. They work only for a limited
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time. And that after a while we have
5:31
to find new concepts and tools that are based on the same
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principles. But we have to be creative
5:38
because the tools and methods that we applied the wear out.
5:43
They simply stop working because we start at some point to copy
5:49
and paste. We have to freshen up the mind
5:52
again to come up with new ways to apply the same fundamental
5:58
principles in order to refresh the mind and to get ourselves
6:02
out of the trances. And also, each tool that I would
6:07
present, it doesn't stand just by its own.
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A simple implementation will not do.
6:13
Each tool comes with its own pitfalls and has to be applied
6:18
carefully. And this is what you have to
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keep in mind as well. OK, basically there are three
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approaches to reducing the trans.
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At least this is how I categorize them.
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Just to give it a little bit of structure.
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One is affirmative, 1 is negating, and there are as a
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third skeptical methods as well. The most important criteria for
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judging whether you're trans is reducing, and luckily we have
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those criteria are, for example, that I learn about the mechanics
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of the mind. I can observe and understand how
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my mind or how mind in general works.
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This is 1 criteria and then there are a few others.
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They can appear in tandem, or they are.
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They can appear more individually, namely empathy
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towards myself, toward us, the general spaciousness of the
7:13
mind, which is the opposite of the trance state of mind which
7:17
is rigid. So my state of mind is more
7:20
vast, has degrees of freedom, has can consider possibilities
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and is not narrowed down. Differentiation, which means I
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can look at the same topic or issue from different
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perspectives and it's my mind is malleable.
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I can change those perspectives relatively easily.
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Curiosity which makes me open to investigate, to find out new
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aspects. Love for myself, even for the
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issues that I developed for other people.
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Courage and self responsible action.
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So these are criteria, not all of them have to be there, but if
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you are in doubt whether you are progressing, progressing in your
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ability to reduce your trans, these are some criteria that you
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can use in order to assess that. One last important principle
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that underlie many of the methods and tools that I will
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tell you now is not to react. Not to react to an internal or
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an external circumstance, at least not impulsively.
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Because in the reaction, the reacting mind, the reacting
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consciousness, it will fill the layers of consciousness with
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trans content depending on how regressed I am.
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If I am regressed and then react to a certain thought, a fantasy
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and image and expectation, the mind will quickly fill up with
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rich dense content that will affirm the trans and will make
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it ever more difficult to get out.
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Good. So let me come to the first
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category of methods, which are the affirmative methods.
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Affirmative basically means that I'm turning my mind towards
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something that might set me free, and I'm strengthening this
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aspect. The simplest method that can
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sometimes help, but it can also be taken superficially, is to
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pause and to describe the situation I am in as it is
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objectively and without judgement.
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For example, I woke up today restless and I'm afraid of the
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future. Or I'm stuck in feelings of
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worthlessness and I don't know what to do.
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My thoughts keep circling around the same questions.
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These could be just objective statements of my factual state
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of mind. The key here is not to judge,
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because judgements are based on convictions.
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Judgements produce unconscious emotions and feelings, and that
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of course, further reinforces the traps.
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What's necessary here is to make the mind firm, to get it out of
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its uncertainty, and to stop the ruminations with a full stop.
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And what is this full stop? It's a description of how the
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situation is now, effectively. It's might be really useful to
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write this down so that I don't have to repeat my objective
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descriptions in my mind. And the first key thing is to
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arrive where I am and not to squirm around in my suffering or
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my uncertainty or my helplessness like a fish in
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panic. From this firmness, clearer
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solution will eventually emerge, especially if you connect them
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with some of the other methods that I'm describing.
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The second tool that I want to mention, this affirmative
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category is responsibility. This step is very much in the
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spirit of Satra, which I based the last episode on, to take
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responsibility for myself and for my actions.
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When you want to do that, realize how undignifying it is
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to shift responsibility for my life and to important decisions,
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either onto other people or onto my own gut feeling, my impulses.
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Even if I make mistakes by taking responsibility, conscious
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responsibility, I will still learn from them.
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At least. I stand up for myself and I talk
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to people, I ask them, I'm investigating, I get
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information, I assess this information, and then I make a
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conscious, informed decision and I stand by it.
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All this in contrast to allowing my unconscious emotion to narrow
12:11
down my perception, to narrow down the field of possibilities
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of understanding, and to thus delegate my responsibility to my
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unconscious, basically to the impulse that might be highly
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regressed. But since responsibility can
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also be a burden, it might be helpful to define a trial period
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for a change. So I am taking responsibility,
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but I don't have to fully swing into it because I might make a
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mistake by making this, taking this responsibility.
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And so I'm getting myself a trial period for a change.
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For example, before I decide whether I take the job, I want
12:56
to try X something. I will try working through a
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book that deals with that topic, or discuss with friends more
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seriously that I have done in the past, or to do a limited
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number of coaching sessions, or to take unpaid vacation for a
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month. In any case, in the end, I will
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decide what I do after such a trial period of trying
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something, not somebody else, and not my impulses or my old
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habits. The third approach, or tool, if
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you like, is to understand my freedom.
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Because responsibility can only work taking responsibility if it
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goes hand in hand with an understanding of my freedom.
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So what I can do is to understand that, basically, and
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to internalize this, to truly understand that this is the
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case, that I'm free. I'm free to think differently.
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I'm free to feel differently and to have different convictions
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than I've had before. I'm not doomed to have the same
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patterns as in the past. I am more than the trans.
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That suggests that I am trapped. And this is very much in the
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direction recommended by Steve Wolinski, who as I described in
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the first episode of this five part series, who developed the
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concept of everyday trance to begin with. 4th approach to
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reflect on the mind machine. This is something that I
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encourage you to do with my description, descriptions, and
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the past three episodes, namely with sentences like this
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feeling. This thought shows how my mind
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works, not how reality is. How my mind works is a mixture
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of how minds work in general, basically of all humans, and the
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habits that I have developed over time.
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It's that mixture. Some of the habits that I have
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were instilled in me by others can be parents, society, peers,
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friends, influences, and some I talked myself into over time
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because something has worked, something that I tried, and then
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I internalized it and made a general rule out of it.
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And then out of that general rule, a habit formed.
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Sometimes it can be healthy. Also, healthy habits can become
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rigid. Sometimes it might have been
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based on regressions and then I internalized something that was
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out of touch with reality to begin with.
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Nonetheless, if I have bad habits, it just shows that
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habits can form in my mind. So I can transform old unhealthy
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habits into healthy habits through insight and practice.
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To do this, I naturally need to know exactly what the habit
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consists of. So I need to have an
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understanding of the mind machine and the specific
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elements side of it. And this I can lay the
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foundation for with the first method that I described, which
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is the objective description of the trans of the trans content.
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What is going on in my mind exactly?
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But I can go deeper than that, both in my reflections alone, in
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my reflections with trusted friends, or for example, in
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therapy. The 5th method is to explore
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instead of to judge. This goes deeper.
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And when you take this next step, just to explore your state
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of mind, instead of judging it, you can ask yourself, what is
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happening in my mind right now? How does it feel to be in this
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specific trance? What does this trance probably
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lead to? Or if I have followed such a
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trance in the past, what were the consequences?
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And such an open exploration of the trans and its consequences
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will make it easier for you to catch yourself next time in the
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trance in the future, and to know which impulses you can
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trust and which you cannot. Because you have understood them
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more fully, You understand, for example, the regression that you
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have and what it does to people around you, what it does to you
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in work environments and so on. You get a deeper understanding
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of the functioning of the trans. And this is a direct result of
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an open and vast exploration. If you want to take an example
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of someone who describes this approach quite in detail, I can
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recommend Jiddu Krishnamurti. He was not a traditional guru.
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He was very psychological and very much interested in the
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mechanics of the mind. And he is trying to inspire
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people in his lectures and his conversations.
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To make such open explorations. The next method is to enrich
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this direction of understanding and exploring fully what is
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going on, namely to localize and feel your body sensations.
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So not just the content of the mind in terms of feelings and
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thoughts and convictions, but for example, you can ask
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yourself, where in my body do I feel this trance now and how
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does it feel? And then to observe the feeling
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without trying to change it. You're exploring.
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This might might sound familiar to you.
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A therapy method that is basing its processes on such an
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exploration of the body sensations is focusing.
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It's currently quite popular again I believe, and if you are
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interested to investigate this further, you can read books
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about it or even watch videos with some examples.
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The last method in this affirmative section I want to
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mention is loving appreciation. Even if what you find out, and
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it probably will, is unpleasant, you still find out something
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about yourself, about your life, about your access to the world,
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and that is always valuable. There should be an instinct that
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this valuable insight that I get makes me more open towards
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myself and towards others, towards the world.
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And this is the feeling of appreciation or of love that I
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can develop, I can encourage to grow inside of me because it
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will increase my degrees of freedom.
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It will increase my mental flexibility to release me from
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the rigidity. Of the trances.
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And so it's overall a very healthy and important aspect
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that should be accompanying my explorations.
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If you find that during your explorations you are very harsh
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and rigid and technical, this is already an indication that you
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might go towards the direction of resentment or of repulsion or
20:42
of negativity, and the to focus on the loving, appreciating
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qualities of the heart and the mind will counterweigh that.
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OK, so these were the tools and the affirmative section.
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Now I come to the tools and the negating section.
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And negating means basically to turn away from the trans and to
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turn away from what maintains it in order to weaken it, in order
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to stop giving it fuel. The first approach here is to
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devalue the current trance, for example, with sentences like or
21:24
understandings inside. Like, just because I think it
21:28
and just because I feel it and I'm convinced of it, it does not
21:32
necessarily mean that it's true. You know, those impulsive
21:38
judgements that I have in my mind about myself, about others.
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World history is full of people who have thought and felt with
21:46
utter conviction and yet they were completely wrong.
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It is just my mind in the loop and I want to get out.
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This is an example for a monologue within myself that
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comments on what is happening, that understands that my mind is
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in the trance and I make the firms I create a firm stand
22:10
inside of me that I understand that this is delusional and that
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I want to get out of it. Basically this is signaling the
22:17
unconscious that I'm open to its support in order to open me up
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more and not to feed into the rigid tracks.
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The second tool here that I want to mention is focused breathing.
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You can direct your attention to the always to the same point of
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noticing your breath again and again.
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For example, the sensation of the nostrils.
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In Buddhism, this concentration approach is also called
22:49
summertime meditation. And even though focusing on the
22:52
breath is quite popular, it matters actually very little
22:56
what you're focusing on. But it has to be a clearly
23:01
noticeable perception. It can be the breath, It can be
23:07
a word which is in India, Indian language is called mantra.
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So I can repeat a certain word that inspires me or calms me
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down again and again in my mind. I don't have to kind of hope for
23:21
esoteric manifestations of what that word is about.
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It is something that I should be able to focus on easily.
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It can be, if I'm a Buddhist, I can repeat my mind Buddha.
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If I'm admirer of freedom, the freedom of the human mind, I can
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tell myself freedom. It's not so important what it
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is. It should be just easy to follow
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it again and again. It should be denoting something
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positive. OK, so it can be the breath, it
23:49
can be a mantra, it can be the hard quality of kindness or
23:54
love, or it can be simply a touch sensation.
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So for example, in Zen there are traditions where people sit and
24:03
their thumbs touch and to focus on that touch sensation can be
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that focus. So it can be something
24:11
completely neutral, but something that is there all the
24:14
time. Important here is when people do
24:18
such concentration meditation techniques.
24:22
When you do that, don't accept, at least not for a too long
24:26
time, the background moods that you have.
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Sometimes I sit down and I feel back of my mind some tiredness
24:35
or lethargy or irritability, and then I think that it will, you
24:41
know, dissipate. It will go away with time.
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But if after a few minutes I notice that it's still there and
24:46
it's bugging me, I should direct my attention towards that mood
24:52
and consciously let it go. There is some skill to it.
24:56
I can accept it. I can get close to it.
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I can consciously take it out of the mind, but I should not allow
25:06
it to linger on because it will affect the quality of my
25:11
concentration. It will disturb it eventually.
25:15
So this was the approach that basically is summertime
25:19
meditation. This is also something that you
25:21
can look up and it's a very effective tool, if I put it
25:26
right, to reduce my trans in the moment.
25:30
The next approach is something that can be called bear
25:34
perception. Bear awareness maybe is a little
25:38
bit misleading, even though you find this term as well floating
25:42
around in literature and on the Internet.
25:45
What it means is that I perceive my sensory perceptions
25:53
consciously, fully, but without concepts and without the
25:59
background moods. It means that when I open my my
26:03
eyes, I see what patches of color, shape, texture.
26:11
What I don't see is door, computer, lamp, plant, tree.
26:18
These are already concepts. Concepts are made-up by
26:21
experiences, made-up by the mind, concepts we do associate
26:26
with certain events, with certain memories.
26:30
And then we are in the merry go round of the trance.
26:34
I look at the tree and I wonder why it doesn't look healthy and
26:38
that I should water it, I should take care of it.
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And then I start to lament the situation of trees in general
26:45
and why people don't do anything about it and so on.
26:47
So it's so easy when I already start to see the concept or
26:53
perceive things as concepts. It's so easy to get lost.
26:57
So what is very important when I do this?
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Bare perception. Or in better meditation terms,
27:07
This is basically the Pasana approach.
27:11
What I need to take to make sure what to take care of is that my
27:15
perception is, so to speak, naked.
27:19
I catch it before the concept arises.
27:23
By doing that, I'm emptying the mind of all those layers that
27:27
depend on concepts in order to grasp the next association.
27:31
This is the fuel that makes the trans continue and by stopping
27:37
to give it this fuel, by really stopping at the level of the bad
27:42
perception of what the eyes, so to speak, or the the ears really
27:47
perceive before forming concepts, I'm emptying the
27:52
layers of the mind and as a side effect I'm narrowing the washed
27:57
out present. I narrow it down.
28:00
So by experience, people who practice this notice that the
28:05
present time becomes shorter and shorter.
28:08
They become very acute and perceiving split seconds at a
28:13
time and not anymore as we do in our normal state of mind to
28:18
perceive 0.11 second or even one second or two second as the
28:22
perceived present time. The next method is de
28:27
identification. For example, you can repeat
28:30
internally this particular thought, this feeling, this
28:34
belief, this conviction is in me.
28:37
I perceive it that comes up inside of me, but it is not me.
28:41
It is not mine. I am potential.
28:44
I am vastness. I am the potential for all
28:48
possible feelings, as the past has shown.
28:52
I'm the potential for all possible convictions, as my life
28:57
has shown. Because I've changed, my
28:58
convictions so often already become before I became too rigid
29:03
of all possible thoughts. And because I'm this vastness,
29:07
I'm letting go of this specific feeling, this specific belief or
29:12
conviction. This practice is also known in
29:17
Buddhism. It's called anata not self or
29:20
anata sanya, which is the perception of not self.
29:24
And I can practice this extensively, of course, in the
29:29
moments that I have the capacity for it, going to the tram,
29:34
taking a walk. Of course, when I work I cannot
29:37
do this so much. But this is something that I can
29:41
promote in my mind as a practice.
29:44
It helps in the very moment, but maybe even more importantly, it
29:49
contributes to lay the foundation to easy devaluations
29:55
of the trans in the future. And this is something that we
29:58
hope to achieve that in the future that becomes more and
30:02
more fluid and easy to step out of the trances, to recognize
30:05
them early and to step out of them.
30:08
And next method is now I am very practical, pragmatic, simple,
30:15
with less effectiveness if you will, but it might be helpful in
30:21
the moment, a change of scenery. Simply change the way you feel
30:26
in your body through exercise, taking a bath, going to the
30:30
sauna, or simply change the room by going outside.
30:36
Or change your breathing by adopting a breathing method of
30:39
long inhales or exhales or just long exhales, which have proved
30:44
to calm the body and mind down. And often enough, when we are on
30:50
trans, we also have a rigid body posture, would also have a rigid
30:54
breath. And so to start on that level,
30:59
to change the body, the posture, change the breathing style might
31:04
contribute to take us out of the trance or clean up your room.
31:10
Either way, whatever we do, when we change the scenery, the inner
31:15
scenery or the outer scenery, is that we introduce a new element
31:19
and we kind of disrupt the constant self referential snot
31:26
that is in our mind, which is the trance.
31:28
We force the mind to acknowledge that there's something new and
31:32
to relate to that view. Something that goes in that
31:40
direction and contributes to the practice of it is my ability to
31:45
ground my ground myself. This is the next method I can
31:50
direct my attention to perceptions in my real
31:54
environment. So instead of being in my head
31:55
all the time and thinking about consequences, guilt, angst,
32:01
shame and so on, I can focus on what I actually see right now or
32:06
hear. And this can be on a more
32:08
conceptual level. It's much more demanding to do
32:11
it non conceptually, as I described regarding the Bipasana
32:14
meditation here I can force myself to see, OK, this door is
32:19
brown, I can hear a dog barking. Grounding myself can also be
32:25
done through again, physical, physiological experiences.
32:30
I can walk barefoot for example, and thus introduce a new element
32:36
into my mind and to my perception.
32:39
I can stand still barefoot for example, and feel the solidity
32:44
of my stance in the ground. This is literally a grounding
32:49
practice. Or I can create strong body
32:53
sensations. Again, either do sport, but not
32:58
something light in the sense that I'm doing healthy,
33:00
something healthy for myself as I described in the previous
33:04
method, but to do to create a strong sensation.
33:08
I can do push ups until my arms hurt, or I can do intense yoga,
33:14
or if I need stronger stimuli in order to Take Me Out of the
33:17
trance, I can hold ice cubes in my hand or take even a cold
33:22
shower. And when I take a cold shower,
33:25
believe me, there is no way that I can hold on to my negative or
33:29
my trance thoughts so much, at least for a while.
33:33
My mind will be blown in a literal sense, like as if it is
33:39
cleansed. It's not holding for a very long
33:41
time. But sometimes when I'm really
33:43
suffering and I don't know how to get out of my head, both
33:47
change of scenery or intense bodily sensations or grounding
33:53
myself can really help. The last tool that I want to
33:57
mention is my understanding of my values and needs in contrast
34:03
to my impulses. This is something that is more a
34:06
therapeutic process. Certainly I use it in my
34:10
therapies, and what it means is that I do have an understanding
34:15
of what the trans wants me to do.
34:17
But I bring up conscious reflections of what my actual
34:22
needs are, what my actual values are.
34:25
And I remind myself that I want to Orient, orientate my thoughts
34:29
and my actions towards these values and needs, which
34:34
represent me so much more than the regressive impulse that I
34:37
have, this repressive, the regressive sorry, gut feeling
34:41
that I have currently. I have created also a few
34:45
episodes for this approach. One example how I can do this,
34:51
for example about needs, is that I create a needs landscape or a
34:57
needs map. What it means is that I think
35:01
about what I want in my life. I don't have to be, you know,
35:07
reinventing the wheel here. I can look up what fundamental
35:10
or important needs are and then go from there.
35:13
Security, safety, joy, connection, power, you know, all
35:19
of these things and I can position them.
35:21
I can cut out, you know, boards and move them around on a large
35:27
piece of paper and then connect the ones, for example, that are
35:31
more power and self efficacy oriented.
35:34
Connect more than those that are more based on feelings and
35:40
interpersonal connection, those that are more towards security,
35:45
which is job, money and so on. And then I can give them
35:48
colours, green for currently fulfilled, yellow for so so and
35:54
red for chronically under fulfilled.
35:57
And then I have a map of my needs and their fulfillment.
36:05
And so this can serve as a reminder that I have to take
36:09
care of actualizing and fulfilling those needs that I
36:15
have chronically undernourished and also to make sure that I
36:19
continue to satisfy the really important needs that are in the
36:23
green. So this would be the approach of
36:26
a needs map. And this can Take Me Out from
36:29
the regressive trance that I am right in.
36:31
That suggests me to me that one thing is super important.
36:35
I have to stand up for myself and tell my boss what I think,
36:39
for example, And this is the only thing in my mind covering
36:45
the complexity of all of the needs that I have.
36:48
So just to be able to step back and to identify what this
36:54
specific impulse stands for and how it relates to the others
36:57
that it could destabilize. For example, my sense of
37:01
security and my needs for security can be super important.
37:05
Even more valuable is to understand my virtues and my
37:11
values because when I do this, ideally, if they're truly
37:17
represent what I think they are, the most authentic
37:23
representation of who I am and who I want to aspire to be.
37:29
And so again, this is in stark contrast to the regressive
37:33
impulses, to the trans impulses, to the trans thoughts and
37:37
convictions. It reminds me of you know who I
37:41
want to be as a person, that I want to be courageous, that I
37:44
want to stand up for myself. I want to be compassionate to
37:47
others. I want to be truthful, patient,
37:51
understanding, and whatever your values and your virtues are.
37:55
And thus with this reminder to Take Me Out of the rigidity and
38:00
the simplicity of the trans. OK, so that was the category of
38:07
negating methods. And now the last one is the
38:11
category of skeptical methods. The first one is skeptical
38:17
devaluation, the impulse thought or trans feeling that I
38:24
currently have. And this is what I need to
38:26
remind myself of. It may be right or it may be
38:30
wrong. The impulse itself, as already
38:33
discussed, doesn't tell me if it's true or not, or if it's
38:36
helpful or not. So if not the immediacy and not
38:42
the kind of the the trans suggestion.
38:46
If this is not what tells me if this is right or healthy for me,
38:50
then I need to ask myself what is?
38:52
What is a good criterion for myself?
38:56
And here I can again use my needs and values, or I can go
39:00
into an open exploration. Either way, this will help me to
39:05
create a differentiation. And differentiation always
39:09
counters the trans because trans suggests that things are easy
39:14
and things are urgent. And when I differentiate, it
39:19
allows me to have a broader perspective, to take more
39:23
aspects of myself and others into account.
39:27
Again, help yourself with writing it down.
39:31
Help yourself with having conversations with trusted
39:34
people around. It can be even strangers.
39:36
It can be therapists of course. Either way, to use skepticism in
39:43
order to differentiate and devalue the trans as it is now.
39:48
The second method is to promote an alternative view on the
39:52
situation that I am in. You could ask yourself, how
39:55
would someone else see and value the situation that I am in?
39:59
And for that I can imagine a specific person, for example,
40:02
somebody that I trust. How would that friend or mentor
40:07
react to the situation that I am in currently?
40:10
Would they have the same trans feelings and trans thoughts and
40:15
trans convictions? If I know this person well, I
40:21
can learn from that model even in my mind and it could Take Me
40:25
Out. It can show me that there are
40:27
different perspectives possible on this situation that seems to
40:31
be so urgent in my trans conviction.
40:36
The third tool is to relativize. For example, I can ask myself,
40:42
Will what I am feeling right now, this impulses that I have,
40:46
will they stand the test of time?
40:48
Will they still be important in a month or in five years?
40:53
This is basically a reflection of impermanence, knowing and
40:56
understanding that evaluations, that impressions, that
41:02
judgements change over time, obviously.
41:05
And this is also a well known practice in Buddhism.
41:08
It's called Anicha sanya or literally translated the
41:13
perception of change, the perception of things as they
41:18
don't stay in permanence. The 4th method is to produce
41:25
counter evidence or it's basically a devil's advocate
41:29
method, which is think of a situation or believe that
41:34
challenges your current conviction.
41:39
Think of how you could challenge your own convictions at this
41:43
very moment. Find a number of weak points in
41:49
your logic, which means to step out of the trance, try to see it
41:55
from the outside, and apply the skepticism through criticism.
42:03
Related to this is the next method, which is to ask myself,
42:07
is it helpful? Is it healthy?
42:09
Does this thought or feeling or conviction that I currently have
42:13
in my trance state really help me now?
42:17
Is it really a representation of what I know is healthy for me?
42:22
And if not, what would be actually helpful?
42:25
What would be actually healthy? 6th method is to ask myself how
42:32
I am Co creating the problem, Co creating the suffering that I'm
42:36
in right now. You can ask yourself, am I
42:39
projecting something onto others, Other people?
42:42
For example, am I distracting myself from the real issue by
42:49
feeling guilty, by seeing how I dislike other people, how I
42:54
blame them for my situation? Is this a distraction or is this
42:59
real? Is the feeling and the impulse
43:02
that I have a symptom, an expression of a problem that I
43:06
don't want to face, that I have avoided to face?
43:11
And if So, what is it that I'm actually avoiding, for example,
43:14
to take responsibility, for example, to leave a toxic
43:18
environment, be it at work or in a relationship.
43:23
And then I can understand, Oh, I will.
43:25
My, my Organism, my unconscious has used the trans in order to
43:30
create a world that at least I can deal with.
43:35
But if I pull the curtains away and I see what my actual problem
43:39
is now, I understand that the system, my system wanted to
43:42
protect me because I've no idea how to leave this work, how to
43:47
leave this relationship or to deal with my responsibility if I
43:54
take the guilt or shame away. And so I understand that I need
43:59
to develop some skills and thinking or problem solving.
44:04
This can be daunting, but at least now I know if I pull those
44:08
curtains away. And the last method in this
44:12
skeptical approach is, which is sometimes necessary to patiently
44:16
accept my current ignorance, as I said.
44:19
As I said right now, I don't know exactly what is true right
44:24
now, or how to solve the issue, or what would be the next
44:27
healthy step. But also, I don't need to know
44:30
right now, and that's fine. I can give myself time to think
44:35
about, to contemplate complex issues that lie behind the
44:40
trance. I will write down what I know,
44:42
for example, and I will look at it tomorrow.
44:47
I can discuss it with a friend. I can go through it alone.
44:52
I can discuss it in therapy. I will take myself the time and
44:58
maybe out of that will grow a new understanding and new
45:02
aspects that contribute to the solution so that my system does
45:07
not have to make me regress, does not have to produce trans
45:13
content, trans feelings, trans convictions in order to save me
45:17
from the complexity that I now discovered.
45:22
OK, again, I'll repeat the disclaimer that I gave in the
45:25
beginning. All of these methods have the
45:27
pitfalls. Nothing will just work, and
45:29
certainly if it works, it will stop working at some point.
45:32
What you need is again and again, not every day, but every
45:35
couple of months at least. After a year or two, you will
45:39
have to refresh yourself and to understand those basic
45:43
principles that I understood, to not react, to understand the
45:47
trance that I am in, to skillfully and healthily turn my
45:51
minds towards other content. How do I apply this now?
45:55
I will forget the methods that I used in the past.
45:58
They're used up. We'll create something new for
46:00
myself. As I mentioned, most of these
46:05
tools you can do on your own. You can do with groups, you can
46:09
do with friends, you can meditate, and so on.
46:11
But some of them and more are also best embedded in
46:16
therapeutic processes. Some people have the skill to do
46:20
it alone. They can buy therapeutic books
46:22
and they can work through the tables and exercises.
46:26
And for some people, it's just better and more healthy to do it
46:29
on in conversations. This is what I do.
46:33
This is what I like to do. I employ those methods and more
46:37
in my therapies. If you're curious, again, you
46:40
can find a link below for free 30 minute sessions so that you
46:44
can see and find out if working together is good for you.
46:48
Other than that, I hope that regardless of therapy, that
46:52
you're benefiting from this content.
46:54
I hope to see you in the next episode and wish you all the
46:57
best. Until then, bye.