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What Happens When a Narcissist Thinks That You Are Done With Them? · The Mental Healness Podcast

• 0:00
  So what happens when a narcissist thinks that you are
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  done for good? When they think that you are
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  finito the relationship has met it's end, but not not when you
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  tell them you're done, when they see it, when they feel it, when
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  they think that you're done for good.
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  What goes on in their minds? How do they act, what do they
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  say, what do they do? That's what we're talking about
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  today, y'all. If you're new here, my name is
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  Lee Hammock. I'm a diagnosed narcissist and
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  welcome to another episode of The Narcissist Code.
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  Welcome back, folks. Welcome back.
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  Welcome back. Yes, I get to sit here and hold
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  my mic now. I got a tripod with my camera's
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  on. I was always had a tripod, but
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  now I have a different one. I have another one.
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  Yeah. And whatnot.
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  So what happened? What goes on in their minds when
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  they think that you're done for good?
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  So some narcissist could absolutely rejoice.
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  Let's get it out the way. Some narcissists want you to
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  leave, right? The reverse discord has
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  happened. They've treated you badly enough
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  and their sinister plan has worked and you're done for good.
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  You're like, I'm finished, I'm done, leave me alone.
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  Don't ever contact me again. Maybe not in that horrible
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  British accent, but you know, they, they, they are, they
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  rejoice. They are happy that you're done
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  for good because this has been part of their plan.
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  This has been part of them plotting and whatnot.
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  So did so they're happy. Some of them rejoice that you're
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  done right. Some of them just like you, you
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  when I, when I say they know you're done, like you're packing
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  your stuff up, right? You're packing the thing, you're
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  packing your house up. You are completely done.
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  Like there's no if ands and buts about it.
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  The you know, you can pack your dishes up, your socks, your,
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  your underwear, everything's gone.
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  Your, your, your ficus, your monstera delicioso, all of it's
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  gone. You packed it all up and you're
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  done. They can tell.
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  Some of them will rejoice and so they can move on.
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  Some of them are ready to move on to a new supply, a new
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  partner or whatever the case may be.
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  And they are ready for this to happen.
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  They are rejoiceful. They are just like, you know,
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  they're, they've been waiting for this moment for a long time.
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  So yeah, some of them will be happy.
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  And that sucks if you're only receiving end of this.
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  It does suck if you're only receiving end of a narcissistic
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  person rejoicing in your sadness, rejoicing and you being
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  done rejoicing and you being like finished.
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  You might be like, you might be sad or you might be happy on the
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  way out the door because now you get that experience, that
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  freedom. I see videos all the time when
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  people are leaving types of relationships and they'll tag me
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  in them and they'll be driving away from the house for the last
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  time and they'll be they'll start crying and then they'll
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  get hyped. They'll be like, it's the house
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  we raised our babies in. Can't believe I'm leaving.
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  Then they get down the road, they'll be like, can't believe
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  I'm leaving. I can't believe I'm leaving.
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  I can't believe I'm leaving. They get hyped.
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  So even if you do get reverse discarded, stay empowered,
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  right, Because again, some of them will celebrate in the the
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  fact that you're done for good. They will celebrate the fact
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  that you are moving out or they're moving out or whatever
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  they got us, they didn't sign the lease, they didn't bought a
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  house, whatever the case may be, they've taken a job across the
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  country. They're moving back in with
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  their parents, whatever they're moving in with their sister or
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  the in law, whoever they, they, they are happy.
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  They're they might not show you that they're rejoicing.
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  They might be not going around the house dancing and singing,
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  right, But they are rejoicing one way in some way, shape or
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  form. You get that right?
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  You understand that, but always a but isn't it always a big old
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  butt, a big fat butt, right? A big old booty.
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  There are narcissists out there who will be upset, who will be
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  sad that the of the fact that you're leaving.
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  Those do exist. Those narcissistic people
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  absolutely 100% exist because most of the time they're going
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  to do this right. The the reverse discard happens
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  if I were I can't even put a percentage on that right.
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  That's the I don't I don't feel like that's quantifiable, right.
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  How many the percentage of narcissistic people did reverse
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  discard as opposed to breaking up with you just to put just
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  doing a discard just totally right.
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  I don't know if that's quantifiable.
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  I don't even know how you would calculate that.
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  I don't know. I just I feel like I would have
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  to do a sample size and get a group of people and start asking
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  that question. How many of you were were
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  reversed, discarded and just have my own anecdotal evidence,
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  right? It's 'cause it's not going to be
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  scientific. I'm not going to do the
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  scientific scientific method on it, right?
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  But yeah, so some of them will absolutely be sad of the fact
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  that you're done. They'll be, they'll be unhappy
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  that you're finished with them. They'll be losing they some of
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  them will again you, you really done for good.
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  You can't believe you done. Some of them will beg and plead
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  and cry uncontrollable flatulence.
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  You know, they'll start to do stuff.
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  They'll they'll change their behaviors.
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  It seemed like the, it might seem like a damn light switch
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  has went off with this person, with this person because of how
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  differently they're acting with you, how differently they're
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  behaving with you. It might seem like a light
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  switch has went off with this person and you like, what the
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  heck you like, who the hell are you?
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  Who, who are you? You know, because the reason
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  what inspired this video? I'm gonna tell you what inspired
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  this video. I was on threads earlier and a
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  woman literally had made a she literally had made a post on
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  threads. I can read it 'cause I
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  screenshot it. I'm gonna do it.
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  I'm gonna do a shorter video on TikTok about it.
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  She literally wrote this on Threads.
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  She said I woke up this I woke up to this man doing dishes
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  while playing our wedding playlist.
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  All I had to do was go see a divorce lawyer for some effort.
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  This is called love bombing and I'm and I'm not going to fall
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  for it, but I do love a clean house and my playlist is all
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  bangers. You see that right there?
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  She, that woman literally knows that her husband is trying to
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  love bomb her literally because he's hurt because she would have
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  filed for divorce because she want to talk to a divorce
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  attorney getting her ducks in a row.
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  He knows that she's done for good because you don't do that
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  for most people. Don't do that just to be playing
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  around, right? So he knows that she's done for
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  good. So in an effort to try to change
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  her mind, he starts to love Bommy face.
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  He doesn't just try to beg and plead and cry.
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  He starts doing the things that she's always wanted.
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  And she goes on and say in the comments section that she's been
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  asking him to do those things for years, like the wash the
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  dishes. He told her that's a woman's
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  job. He's never he's never going to
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  wash the dishes now. I was like the day after she
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  goes and files for divorce or whatever.
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  He's now he's watching the dishes.
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  Some of them, when they think that you're done for good, they
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  don't want to sit with it. They don't want to accept that
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  as reality. So they're trying to change
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  their reality. They'll try to change what's
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  actually going on. They're trying to change what
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  what, what is going to happen? They're trying to change your
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  mind. And the crazy thing about it is
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  they'll start to do the thing, the things that you've been
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  begging them to do, they'll start to do them.
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  All of a sudden, you like, what the hell?
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  What the helly? What the helly?
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  Peterson? You see what I'm saying?
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  You like, what the hell You like what?
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  What? What are you doing?
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  I've been asking you to watch the dishes for years, for a
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  decade now. You watching the dishes because
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  I filed for divorce. So that means you know what that
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  means. And This is why it should not
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  work. This is why when they start to
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  love bomb or try to do the things that you've been asking
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  them to do for a long time. This is why I truly believe that
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  it shouldn't work or you shouldn't.
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  You shouldn't, you shouldn't accept it because it shows that
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  they could have been doing it the entire time.
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  It shows that they could have been putting in more effort
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  their entire time, but they feel like they didn't have to.
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  But now, because you're leaving now, because you're done, now
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  all of a sudden they want to turn it on.
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  Now all of a sudden they want to give you everything that you've
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  been asking for, everything you've been pleading for,
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  everything that you, you know, they want to give it all to you.
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  They want to give it all to you. Everything that they've been,
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  everything you've been asking for, everything you've been
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  pleading for, begging, for, crying for.
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  Now they want to give it to you right now they want to just sit
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  now. Now they want to now they want
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  to show show you how it works. Right now they want to show you
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  that they they can be the person that you've been asking them to
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  be without you asking. You see, that's manipulation.
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  That is love bombing. That's manipulation on a just on
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  a different level. And it should make it should
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  piss you off because it shows you or not.
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  I might have pissed you off. I might make you might you might
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  laugh and just like there you go, you trying to manipulate me,
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  you. That means you haven't changed
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  because you because you are changing.
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  That means you haven't changed, you see, because you haven't
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  been given any effort for years now when I'm all the way out the
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  door now you want to give this effort.
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  That's manipulation. So it might be funny when it
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  starts to happen. So what if I tell people all the
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  time, don't fall for the love bomb phase later on.
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  Love bombing doesn't just happen at the beginning of
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  relationships, it can happen throughout.
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  I called it, y'all know what I called it the love pop.
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  There could be little love pops throughout the relationship,
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  right? And those love pops happen like
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  this when they start. Hey, I actually, hey, I know you
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  filed for divorce or whatever, but I actually just signed us up
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  for some marriage counseling session.
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  I know you want to break up with me, but I actually went and
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  talked to I actually scheduled my own personal therapy
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  appointment. I know you want to end it all
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  and don't want to be with me anymore.
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  I know you, I'm the last person you want to talk to, but I
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  actually, you know, cut the grass.
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  Actually, you see what I'm saying?
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  You don't want to just start it. When they start to turn it on.
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  It looks like manipulation. There's a lot of manipulation.
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  True change takes time. True authentic change does take
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  time. It really, really does, right?
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  True authentic change takes time, effort, and energy because
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  the only acceptable apology is consistent change behavior.
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  Like they shouldn't. You, you, you know, you see what
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  I'm saying? They should be wanting to make
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  these changes even with they should be wanting you to make
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  these changes even without you saying it right.
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  They should already be doing it. They should already putting the
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  work in behind the scenes, going to therapy, going to counselor,
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  not making a hey babe on the way to church this morning.
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  I know, I I know I told you I was an atheist, but guess what?
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  I'm going to church. I found God.
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  I found God and God told me that you should give me another
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  chance. Yes, God did say that.
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  How you going to tell me what God said?
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  You see, some of them will lose their minds.
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  Some of them are so possessive of you y'all that they will do.
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  They will if they think you're going for good.
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  If they think you're going to leave for good, they might try
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  to take you out of here. This is why sometimes they out
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  when you're leaving a narcissist.
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  The best way to do it is to not tell them until you're out.
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  I know you might have kids and the situations are different and
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  whatnot, but you might not want to tell them until you're out
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  the door because some of them will lose their minds and try to
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  actually harm you and put their hands on you or unalive you.
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  Some of them, some of them will try to send you to meet your
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  maker because they're so upset and angry that you got away that
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  you're leaving them that you're they can't.
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  They don't want to think about you being with somebody else,
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  even though they haven't treated you the best, right, even though
• 10:54
  they haven't done that for you, even though they haven't been
• 10:57
  the best person for you. They'll try to make it seem like
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  you need to give them another chance because y'all have this,
• 11:02
  y'all have that. But anyway, y'all, I'm going to
• 11:04
  start my storytelling thing over here pretty soon.
• 11:07
  If you want to send your story in for me to react to, you don't
• 11:10
  have to use your real name. Whatever I can protect safety
• 11:13
  first. Send your story into
• 11:14
  info@mentalillness.net. Your age.
• 11:18
  Send a detailed story. Y'all.
• 11:19
  I'm going to start doing like those videos like Ray William
• 11:21
  Johnson does, except I'm going to start telling them about
• 11:24
  toxic relationship.net. So if you want to Share your
• 11:26
  story in an animated way or I'm telling, I'm sharing it.
• 11:29
  I'm talking about it and helping you out at the same time.
• 11:32
  It can help other people send it to info info at mental illness
• 11:36
  dot net and like I said, just put put in there just like hey,
• 11:40
  some people have already sent them in I'm working on those
• 11:42
  now, but put in there just anonymous that way.
• 11:46
  I'll yeah, I'll make a name up. I'll just create create your
• 11:48
  character. He did subscribe, but y'all, it
• 11:51
  is always mental. This is out peace.
• 11:54
  Before you leave make sure to hit that subscribe button if you
• 11:56
  haven't. It just helps us reach more
• 11:58
  people. Also everything I have is
• 12:00
  available at mentalillness.net. My coaching, my courses.
• 12:04
  I have a couple of courses that can help you understand and help
• 12:06
  you heal and also have a support group all available at
• 12:09
  mentalillness.net. Check my site off everything
• 12:11
  y'all and I will see y'all later.
• 12:13
  Peace.