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The Lie Women Have Been Sold: with Reshma Saujani · QUESTION EVERYTHING

• 0:04
  Speaker 1: Big things happen when you're pretty, pretty bold, pretty clever,
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: pretty strong. I'm Danielle Robe, and each week my guests
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: and I have conversations that put a new spin on pretty.
• 0:17
  Speaker 1: This is pretty smart. Reshma Sujhani is on a mission
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: to make life better for women. It started with her
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: nonprofit Girls Who Code, an organization working to close the
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: gender gap in tech. Now Reshma is leading the charge
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: with a plan to pay moms for their invisible labor.
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: She says motherhood in America is broken, and she has
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: a plan to fix it.
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  Speaker 2: We were sold a big lie. I want into it too,
• 0:47
  Speaker 2: and it was like, what did I do wrong?
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: I first saw Reshma's name ten years ago she became
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: the first South Asian American woman to run for Congress.
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: Reshma lost. She did a ted talk about losing about
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: failure in general, and since then she talks about failure
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: often and encourages women to be brave not perfect, a
• 1:09
  Speaker 1: term she's coined.
• 1:11
  Speaker 2: The big aha for me was when I lost, was
• 1:14
  Speaker 2: that failure didn't break me. You know, I thought for
• 1:17
  Speaker 2: so long that if I tried something and I failed,
• 1:19
  Speaker 2: but it would literally physically break me.
• 1:23
  Speaker 1: And as her new book, pay up hits shelves. I
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: cannot wait to talk to Reshma about how that loss
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: paved the way for her biggest wins yet and of
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: course her plan for Moms in America to finally win
• 1:35
  Speaker 1: big two. So this is a journalism one oh one
• 1:43
  Speaker 1: no no, But I want to start our interview talking
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: about failure, and you're into breaking the rule, so I'm
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: just going to break them with you. Can you tell
• 1:51
  Speaker 1: me about your biggest, best, splashiest failure.
• 1:54
  Speaker 2: My biggest splashest failure was definitely running for Congress and
• 1:58
  Speaker 2: like losing spectacularly. You know, I'm the daughter of refugees
• 2:02
  Speaker 2: and my dad used to read me these books about
• 2:04
  Speaker 2: change makers, and from the time I was a little girl,
• 2:07
  Speaker 2: like I wanted to change the world, I wanted to
• 2:10
  Speaker 2: give back. I graduated three hundred thousand dollars in student
• 2:13
  Speaker 2: loan debt, you know, worked in a stream of endless
• 2:16
  Speaker 2: jobs that I hated. Woke up at age thirty three
• 2:19
  Speaker 2: and was like, oh my god, is this it? Like
• 2:20
  Speaker 2: is this the rest of my life? And you know,
• 2:23
  Speaker 2: finally found the courage to quit and I dec had
• 2:26
  Speaker 2: to run for United States Congress and I ran ten
• 2:28
  Speaker 2: years ago before AOC ran, you know, and I ran
• 2:32
  Speaker 2: against a Democratic incumbent, and so it wasn't done like
• 2:36
  Speaker 2: you just didn't go against the democratic establishment. But I
• 2:39
  Speaker 2: thought that I would shake every hand and meet every
• 2:41
  Speaker 2: voter and I would win. And I swore I was
• 2:44
  Speaker 2: gonna win. Even on election day, I swore I just
• 2:47
  Speaker 2: felt it. I was like I'm going to win. And
• 2:49
  Speaker 2: I lost spectacularly. You know. I spent like over a
• 2:52
  Speaker 2: million dollars on like a handful of votes. You know,
• 2:54
  Speaker 2: I got less than ninety percent of the vote. And
• 2:57
  Speaker 2: the next morning when I woke up, I was like wow,
• 3:00
  Speaker 2: Like I thought I would be broken. And the reality
• 3:04
  Speaker 2: was is that the failure that I had it didn't
• 3:07
  Speaker 2: break me in And this was the thing that I
• 3:08
  Speaker 2: was waiting my whole life to do. And it was
• 3:11
  Speaker 2: a big aha moment for me.
• 3:13
  Speaker 1: What was the aha? Because I think somebody like you,
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: who has found such career success and academic success before that,
• 3:21
  Speaker 1: my guess would be that it would feel like a
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: big blow.
• 3:24
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Well, because I think before that it was like
• 3:26
  Speaker 2: I was a good immigrant girl, Like I calculated everything,
• 3:30
  Speaker 2: I timed everything. I never really tried for anything that
• 3:34
  Speaker 2: I didn't think that I would ace. This was the
• 3:36
  Speaker 2: first time that I really went for something that I
• 3:40
  Speaker 2: didn't think that could not happen. I remember, even like
• 3:43
  Speaker 2: before I would walk into any room where I was
• 3:46
  Speaker 2: fundraising or asking for a vote, I would like feel
• 3:49
  Speaker 2: like incredibly anxious and I would have to play out
• 3:53
  Speaker 2: you know what would happen if I lost. It's almost
• 3:56
  Speaker 2: like I had to live my failure to get the
• 3:58
  Speaker 2: courage to stand up in the room. And so the
• 4:01
  Speaker 2: big aha for me was when I lost, was that
• 4:03
  Speaker 2: failure didn't break me. You know, I thought, had thought
• 4:06
  Speaker 2: for so long that if I tried something and I failed,
• 4:09
  Speaker 2: that it would literally physically break me. And that fear
• 4:14
  Speaker 2: of not being able to recover. That's the fear that
• 4:17
  Speaker 2: I think a lot of us have, and it's why
• 4:19
  Speaker 2: we don't do things, because it's easier to give up
• 4:23
  Speaker 2: before you even try than to dare to try something
• 4:27
  Speaker 2: that you never return from if it doesn't work out.
• 4:30
  Speaker 1: The interesting thing is that you most often return, but
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: we can't think about that in the process. That failure
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  Speaker 1: is actually what led me to you. So I feel
• 4:41
  Speaker 1: very grateful for that. I watched your Ted talk Brave
• 4:44
  Speaker 1: Not Perfect, which eventually became a book, and I was
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: enamored by your message. You said that we have a
• 4:50
  Speaker 1: bravery deficit. Can you explain what you mean by that?
• 4:55
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean we have been socialized from the time
• 4:57
  Speaker 2: that we're little girls to be perfect, right, and it
• 5:00
  Speaker 2: often starts with our parents wanting to protect us from
• 5:03
  Speaker 2: physical harm.
• 5:05
  Speaker 1: You know.
• 5:05
  Speaker 2: I had a friend of mine who had a baby,
• 5:06
  Speaker 2: and she was teaching her to crawl, and she's walking
• 5:09
  Speaker 2: right behind her and she's saying, be careful, honey, be careful, honey,
• 5:12
  Speaker 2: be careful, honey, and then she's like and then your
• 5:13
  Speaker 2: face appears in my mind, and I'm like, no, no, no,
• 5:15
  Speaker 2: go baby, go baby, go baby. But it's like natural
• 5:18
  Speaker 2: instinct for girls to want to physically protect them, and
• 5:22
  Speaker 2: then by the time they get eight or nine, we
• 5:24
  Speaker 2: want to psychologically protect them. So when they go to
• 5:28
  Speaker 2: gymnastics class and they can't do a cartwheel and they
• 5:30
  Speaker 2: come home and they're crying, we say, don't worry, honey,
• 5:33
  Speaker 2: you don't have to go again. Let's try soccer tomorrow.
• 5:36
  Speaker 2: And so we start as a young girl getting addicted
• 5:38
  Speaker 2: to perfection, which means that we start gravitating towards things
• 5:41
  Speaker 2: that we're good at. Things that we will get affirmation
• 5:44
  Speaker 2: for and the consequences of that are enormous. You see
• 5:48
  Speaker 2: it in almost every facet, right. You see it in
• 5:51
  Speaker 2: academia where you know, when women declare economics as a major,
• 5:55
  Speaker 2: if they get a beat in an introductory level course,
• 5:58
  Speaker 2: they drop out, whereas guys are like, I gotta beat hell,
• 6:01
  Speaker 2: I got a date, I'm running for president. Different consequences.
• 6:06
  Speaker 2: You see it in acting depression. I mean, the Sercion
• 6:09
  Speaker 2: General just released a report where fifty one percent of
• 6:11
  Speaker 2: those that are committing suicide are girls compared to four
• 6:14
  Speaker 2: percent of boys. Right, that is very much attributed to perfectionism.
• 6:22
  Speaker 2: Social media, you know what I mean, capitalizes on that,
• 6:25
  Speaker 2: and you know, you see this, and you see this
• 6:27
  Speaker 2: in leadership where women, you know, won't apply for a
• 6:29
  Speaker 2: job unless they meet one hundred percent of qualifications, but
• 6:32
  Speaker 2: for men it's sixty. So my point is is that
• 6:35
  Speaker 2: we live these perfectionist lives and if we're waiting to
• 6:38
  Speaker 2: be perfect to live, you know, if we're waiting to
• 6:40
  Speaker 2: be perfect to lead, we'll never close the leadership gap.
• 6:44
  Speaker 2: And the antidote of perfectionism is bravery. And that's why
• 6:47
  Speaker 2: I argue we have a bravery deficit, because the braver
• 6:50
  Speaker 2: we are, the more imperfect we become.
• 6:54
  Speaker 1: I had a friend who was in law school at Loyola,
• 6:56
  Speaker 1: like right outside of LA and she had a professor
• 7:01
  Speaker 1: who gave a final exam and said, you know, I'm
• 7:03
  Speaker 1: going to have a study session if anybody wants to come.
• 7:06
  Speaker 1: So she held office hours and there were fourteen girls
• 7:09
  Speaker 1: or like young women that came, zero men, and the
• 7:13
  Speaker 1: class was one hundred and forty four people. And the
• 7:17
  Speaker 1: women kind of looked around and they were like, does
• 7:19
  Speaker 1: this always happen? Because the professor had been there for
• 7:21
  Speaker 1: twenty years, and she said, not once has a guy
• 7:24
  Speaker 1: attended one of these sessions.
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  Speaker 3: I do them every year.
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  Speaker 1: The women come, they feel like they're underprepared, the men
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: feel over prepared, over confident, and then on the test,
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  Speaker 1: the women overwhelmingly do better. And I it was the
• 7:39
  Speaker 1: first time I thought to myself, I'm a part of this,
• 7:42
  Speaker 1: Like I won't put anything out until it feels perfect,
• 7:46
  Speaker 1: And how much am I missing out on? How does
• 7:49
  Speaker 1: that road show up for us as adults when we're
• 7:51
  Speaker 1: conditioned to be perfect as young girls.
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  Speaker 2: It's why we have you know, less than what twenty
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  Speaker 2: percent of Congress are women, you know, less than twenty
• 8:00
  Speaker 2: percent of Fortune one hundred compies or women. It's why,
• 8:03
  Speaker 2: you know, in every single aspect, we're not leading, even
• 8:07
  Speaker 2: though we're prepared, even though we're more qualified. I would argue,
• 8:10
  Speaker 2: but we're not there, and that a lot of that, look,
• 8:13
  Speaker 2: I want to be clear, has to do with societal
• 8:15
  Speaker 2: racism and sexism and all the structural things that are broken.
• 8:18
  Speaker 2: But there's a piece of that. I'll just speak for myself,
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  Speaker 2: and I think the women that I've spoken to or
• 8:23
  Speaker 2: meant to, that's about us. You know, we think that
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  Speaker 2: we are never prepared enough, ready enough, qualified enough, and
• 8:31
  Speaker 2: we talk ourselves out of it. You know. One of
• 8:33
  Speaker 2: the blessings that I always say that I had. You know,
• 8:35
  Speaker 2: we grew up in a similar place. Right. Everybody from
• 8:38
  Speaker 2: where I grew up went to University of Illinois, Urbana. I
• 8:41
  Speaker 2: went to a state school, right, or they went to
• 8:43
  Speaker 2: community college at Harper, or they went to you know,
• 8:46
  Speaker 2: Northern Right. They didn't go to Harvard, they didn't go
• 8:49
  Speaker 2: to Yale. And for me, growing up as this middle
• 8:52
  Speaker 2: class girl from the Midwest, I thought that the way
• 8:54
  Speaker 2: that I could prove to the world that I can
• 8:56
  Speaker 2: make a difference. Is I had to go to one
• 8:57
  Speaker 2: of those schools because that was the only way that
• 9:00
  Speaker 2: someone was going to take me seriously. Finally, after years
• 9:03
  Speaker 2: and years and years of applying and not getting in
• 9:06
  Speaker 2: and applying and not getting it, finally got in right.
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  Speaker 2: And there I am sitting there at ill law school.
• 9:12
  Speaker 2: You know, in my constitutional law class. Everybody's probably gone
• 9:15
  Speaker 2: to a private school, and you know has been preparing
• 9:19
  Speaker 2: for this moment forever, and I just can't raise my hand,
• 9:23
  Speaker 2: like I cannot speak. I felt so like imposter syndrome
• 9:27
  Speaker 2: right flash forward, you know what that was, you know,
• 9:30
  Speaker 2: when I was in my early twenties, you know, twenty
• 9:33
  Speaker 2: years later, you know, a few years ago, I am
• 9:35
  Speaker 2: like asked by Bill Gates to come speak at the
• 9:37
  Speaker 2: Microsoft sum at his summit, and in the speaking slot
• 9:40
  Speaker 2: that I'm given is between Warren Buffett and Bill Gates.
• 9:44
  Speaker 2: And they said to me, you know, very few people
• 9:46
  Speaker 2: feel comfortable in the spot because both Bill and Warren
• 9:48
  Speaker 2: are sitting in the front, you know, front row, and
• 9:50
  Speaker 2: they're watching you give this talk. And I remember, as
• 9:53
  Speaker 2: I was sitting there about to get up on stage,
• 9:55
  Speaker 2: I was like, wow, I wish that they had given
• 9:58
  Speaker 2: me fifteen minutes rather than to and I was like,
• 10:02
  Speaker 2: I had this moment where I'm like, how did I
• 10:04
  Speaker 2: become this woman? For so long? I was that girl
• 10:08
  Speaker 2: who never thought that I belonged, And I realized it.
• 10:11
  Speaker 2: It's because I have been in so many rooms of power,
• 10:16
  Speaker 2: so many places where I was the only one, and
• 10:19
  Speaker 2: I've gotten an up close view and no offense to
• 10:22
  Speaker 2: the men. And I've met every male CEO, every leader,
• 10:26
  Speaker 2: every president, all of them. And I remember thinking, you
• 10:31
  Speaker 2: you like me, and my girlfriends can run circles around
• 10:34
  Speaker 2: you from Schomberg. And it was this blessing because I
• 10:39
  Speaker 2: had built these men up right, I had built these
• 10:43
  Speaker 2: institutions up I had built these spaces and places up
• 10:47
  Speaker 2: and now I've been in every single one of them.
• 10:50
  Speaker 2: And I realized, I wish I could bottle this and
• 10:53
  Speaker 2: give it to all my girls, all my sins, all
• 10:56
  Speaker 2: of you right to recognize that we are so far
• 11:00
  Speaker 2: more prepared, qualified, ready. And it's society that makes us
• 11:05
  Speaker 2: think this way. But if we could recondition ourselves to say, yeah,
• 11:10
  Speaker 2: I can be that, I can do that, I can
• 11:12
  Speaker 2: create that, I can you know, I got it. Gosh like,
• 11:16
  Speaker 2: that would be so incredible.
• 11:18
  Speaker 1: I've heard you say that you sort of reconditioned yourself
• 11:21
  Speaker 1: with small acts of bravery that built up into larger
• 11:26
  Speaker 1: acts of bravery. If you can give me like one
• 11:29
  Speaker 1: or two anecdotes of small acts, because I think, like
• 11:32
  Speaker 1: I want to apply this to my own life, and
• 11:34
  Speaker 1: I can't even think of where I could on a
• 11:37
  Speaker 1: daily basis.
• 11:38
  Speaker 2: Well, what is like telling you that story?
• 11:41
  Speaker 3: Yeah?
• 11:41
  Speaker 2: Right, telling you that story because you know there could
• 11:44
  Speaker 2: be some men who hear that. But right you're not
• 11:47
  Speaker 2: getting invited there anymore, you know. It's it was like
• 11:50
  Speaker 2: for me when I'm sure I don't know if this
• 11:52
  Speaker 2: happens to you, but like you're in a conversation or
• 11:54
  Speaker 2: room or an event at a bar, at a meeting,
• 11:57
  Speaker 2: and someone says something and you're like, whether it's sexist
• 12:01
  Speaker 2: or racist or just inappropriate, and you walk, you know,
• 12:04
  Speaker 2: you don't say anything, and then you leave and you
• 12:06
  Speaker 2: tell your partner or your best friend or whatever, like
• 12:08
  Speaker 2: and it just sits with you can't sleep at night
• 12:10
  Speaker 2: because you're just like you're thinking about all the combats,
• 12:12
  Speaker 2: all the things that you should have said, but you
• 12:14
  Speaker 2: never said it. So like for me, when that happens
• 12:19
  Speaker 2: nine out of ten times, I actually don't in that
• 12:21
  Speaker 2: moment say speak up right, But now nine out of
• 12:26
  Speaker 2: ten times, the next day, the next week, I'll send
• 12:29
  Speaker 2: an email. I'll put you aside. So I don't hold
• 12:32
  Speaker 2: any of that regret. You know, I don't hold any
• 12:36
  Speaker 2: of that like I and I have the courage to say,
• 12:42
  Speaker 2: I don't think you should have said that or that
• 12:44
  Speaker 2: made me feel like why? And so I feel like
• 12:48
  Speaker 2: that is that has been big or even like when
• 12:51
  Speaker 2: I don't know, maybe it's because I'm five' three Or
• 12:53
  Speaker 2: i'm brown or whatever it, is but every Time i'm
• 12:57
  Speaker 2: in line to, something people cut in front of me
• 12:59
  Speaker 2: all the time to all the. Time, yeah and NORMALLY
• 13:03
  Speaker 2: i just let it, go But i'm, like excuse.
• 13:04
  Speaker 3: Me i'm, Here, Hello.
• 13:07
  Speaker 2: Hello but even, that, Right so when you said, that
• 13:11
  Speaker 2: like the next time somebody cuts in front of, you
• 13:13
  Speaker 2: like say, something, yeah and then you like stop letting
• 13:15
  Speaker 2: people do things to.
• 13:16
  Speaker 3: YOU i really like.
• 13:18
  Speaker 1: That those are even smaller THAN i. Envisioned SO i
• 13:22
  Speaker 1: think those are completely. Doable you. Know so you've said
• 13:26
  Speaker 1: that we are tyrannized by. Perfectionism what is the barometer
• 13:31
  Speaker 1: for perfect versus? Good BECAUSE i can tell just by
• 13:36
  Speaker 1: reading your work and listening to you that you are
• 13:39
  Speaker 1: a person who cares about excellence and you want to
• 13:42
  Speaker 1: put good work into the. World and so how do
• 13:45
  Speaker 1: you determine when something is good enough to put out
• 13:49
  Speaker 1: rather than being obsessed over the perfection of?
• 13:52
  Speaker 2: It, YEAH i, MEAN i think there's a real difference
• 13:55
  Speaker 2: between perfection and. Excellence, so you, KNOW i had a
• 13:58
  Speaker 2: friend of mine who was An olympic and she had
• 14:02
  Speaker 2: an opportunity to go to The. Olympics last time it,
• 14:04
  Speaker 2: was you, know this was her Last olympic. Meet. Wow
• 14:07
  Speaker 2: she goes, up she does her, dive she lands, flat it's,
• 14:11
  Speaker 2: over not. Happening pool's clearing. Out her boyfriend's tapping his,
• 14:15
  Speaker 2: feet being, like come, on let's. Go and she looked
• 14:18
  Speaker 2: at him and she goes give me a, minute and
• 14:20
  Speaker 2: she goes back up and she does the perfect. Dive
• 14:24
  Speaker 2: she did that for. Herself she wasn't going to The.
• 14:26
  Speaker 2: Olympics it was, over but she wanted to prove to
• 14:30
  Speaker 2: herself that she. Could that is. Excellence you. Know the
• 14:34
  Speaker 2: difference between perfection and excellence is like the difference between
• 14:37
  Speaker 2: love and. Obsession, right love Excellence it's a journey every
• 14:42
  Speaker 2: it's not about the. Outcome it's not about the. Destination
• 14:45
  Speaker 2: it's about the, journey. Right the journey in and of
• 14:49
  Speaker 2: itself is a, gift AND i think that that's where
• 14:52
  Speaker 2: we have, to you, know get ourselves toward it and you,
• 14:54
  Speaker 2: know going. Back there is no better example of the
• 14:57
  Speaker 2: tyranny of perfection and how hardwired we are towards IT covid.
• 15:01
  Speaker 2: Nineteen you, know when this pandemic, started a global. PANDEMIC
• 15:05
  Speaker 2: i read somewhere today that one out of ten Older americans,
• 15:09
  Speaker 2: died or was maybe even one out of. Four? Wow,
• 15:11
  Speaker 2: Right but what was happening to us On? Instagram we're
• 15:15
  Speaker 2: getting messages like here's how you bake banana, bread you
• 15:18
  Speaker 2: learn how to play the, guitar lose some of those
• 15:21
  Speaker 2: extra paths like, literally, Right i'm sure you're in a
• 15:25
  Speaker 2: baking sour, dough making banana, bread, knitting. Whatever Was but
• 15:29
  Speaker 2: all this pressure we were, getting and it's why the
• 15:33
  Speaker 2: depression and anxiety rates of women and mothers in particular
• 15:37
  Speaker 2: have skyrocketed over the past two. Years because no one
• 15:41
  Speaker 2: was saying to, us you know, what just, rest just
• 15:43
  Speaker 2: keep your babies and yourself. Alive. Relax, instead we were
• 15:48
  Speaker 2: getting all of this pressure to find ourselves to do
• 15:51
  Speaker 2: things in this you, know spare time that we allegedly
• 15:55
  Speaker 2: were supposed to, have and then we were, Sinking, well
• 15:56
  Speaker 2: what's wrong with? Me why AN'T i baking banana? Bread
• 15:59
  Speaker 2: like you, Know i'm failing as a, Mom i'm feeling
• 16:02
  Speaker 2: as a. Person my husband wasn't feeling that. Way the
• 16:06
  Speaker 2: men in their lives were not baking banana bread and
• 16:08
  Speaker 2: sour dough and knitting or, whatever you know WHAT i.
• 16:11
  Speaker 2: Mean they were just trying to be, live trying to stay.
• 16:14
  Speaker 2: Live and so it is so deeply ruted in our.
• 16:18
  Speaker 1: Society CAN i ask you a tricky. Question it came
• 16:22
  Speaker 1: to me while you were speaking just, Now so bear
• 16:25
  Speaker 1: with me BECAUSE i don't have a, perfect perfectly worded
• 16:28
  Speaker 1: BECAUSE i feel like being a woman In america is
• 16:31
  Speaker 1: like a walking. CONTRADICTION i have read so many books
• 16:37
  Speaker 1: on feminism and how to unlearn so much of this
• 16:42
  Speaker 1: kind of. Behavior i'm very aware of a lot of.
• 16:45
  Speaker 1: IT i observe THINGS i think a lot of people
• 16:47
  Speaker 1: maybe pass, by and at the same, TIME i THINK
• 16:51
  Speaker 1: i play into the game a little bit to try
• 16:53
  Speaker 1: to get, ahead, Right Like i'm wearing red, lipstick and
• 16:57
  Speaker 1: LIKE i try to balance, it BUT i really want
• 17:00
  Speaker 1: to change it for the next. Generation well how do
• 17:03
  Speaker 1: you think about?
• 17:04
  Speaker 2: That, YEAH i, mean, listen this is what my book
• 17:06
  Speaker 2: is on Pay. Up you, know it's it's we were
• 17:09
  Speaker 2: sold a big. LIE i bought into it. TOO i
• 17:12
  Speaker 2: spent ten years kind of spreading the, gospel telling my
• 17:15
  Speaker 2: girls to like take over corporate boarding, rooms doing the
• 17:17
  Speaker 2: same thing, myself wearing My i'm A boss necklace with
• 17:20
  Speaker 2: my hustled sweatshirt and like my red lipstick and my
• 17:22
  Speaker 2: hair blown up to the. Nines AND i really bought
• 17:26
  Speaker 2: into this idea that, like IF i tried hard, enough
• 17:28
  Speaker 2: IF i leaned in far, enough THAT i would rule
• 17:30
  Speaker 2: the world and we would do that for the betterment of.
• 17:33
  Speaker 2: Women AND i did, that you, know to the personal
• 17:36
  Speaker 2: sacrifice of myself in my. Life and you, KNOW i
• 17:39
  Speaker 2: think that that really became clear to. Me you, know for,
• 17:42
  Speaker 2: ME i had five miscarriages BEFORE i had my. KIDS
• 17:45
  Speaker 2: i spent ten years in and out of fertility. Treatments
• 17:48
  Speaker 2: but even WHEN i had my first, SON i saw
• 17:51
  Speaker 2: him an hour a. DAY i didn't see him, WALK
• 17:53
  Speaker 2: i didn't see him, CRAWL i didn't see him. Talk
• 17:56
  Speaker 2: AND i wore that as a badge of honor THAT
• 17:58
  Speaker 2: i believed so much girls Who code and then building this,
• 18:01
  Speaker 2: organization that that's WHAT i was willing to. Sacrifice AND
• 18:04
  Speaker 2: i was told everywhere that that's what it. Took and
• 18:08
  Speaker 2: that's a, lie a big. Lie and so you, know
• 18:12
  Speaker 2: it wasn't UNTIL covid for me THAT i really saw
• 18:16
  Speaker 2: this for so many of us crack and like and
• 18:20
  Speaker 2: see how how toxic that lie, was and that if
• 18:25
  Speaker 2: we had an opportunity to, rebuild what WOULD i want
• 18:28
  Speaker 2: like workplaces to look? Like what WHAT i want my life
• 18:30
  Speaker 2: to look? Like you, Know i'm in the throes of
• 18:33
  Speaker 2: building another Movement Marshall plan For, moms which in many
• 18:36
  Speaker 2: WAYS i feel like it's going to be bigger than
• 18:38
  Speaker 2: the MOVEMENT i build With girls Who. Code And i'm
• 18:40
  Speaker 2: not doing it on five planes a. Week i'm not
• 18:44
  Speaker 2: doing it on six hours of. Sleep i'm not doing
• 18:47
  Speaker 2: it without not seeing my. KIDS i played tennis every
• 18:50
  Speaker 2: morning LIKE i spend, time And i'm building something that
• 18:56
  Speaker 2: is even. Bigger and so that was, Like, WOW i
• 19:00
  Speaker 2: was doing it all. Wrong so you just restructured your.
• 19:03
  Speaker 2: TIME i just restructured my. TIME i restructured my. PRIORITIES
• 19:07
  Speaker 2: i JUST i don't know if YOU i feel like
• 19:08
  Speaker 2: you're gonna relate to What i'm about to. Say but
• 19:10
  Speaker 2: LIKE i am un neurotic in in this way of
• 19:14
  Speaker 2: LIKE i, Have, YEAH i definitely, relate, no meaning Like
• 19:18
  Speaker 2: i'm always like, thinking my mind is always. Thinking i'm
• 19:21
  Speaker 2: always trying to you. Know so it's very hard for
• 19:24
  Speaker 2: me to. Relax like the hardest thing for me to
• 19:27
  Speaker 2: do is go to. Yoga so it's really hard for
• 19:30
  Speaker 2: me to. Chill, yeah you, know and so part of
• 19:34
  Speaker 2: the biggest SO i spent so much time AND i
• 19:37
  Speaker 2: don't think you can be. CREATIVE i don't think you
• 19:40
  Speaker 2: can like make real change unless you're, silent unless you're,
• 19:45
  Speaker 2: quiet unless you're quiet your. Mind So i've just been
• 19:49
  Speaker 2: really practicing, that you, know and allowing myself to at
• 19:53
  Speaker 2: a certain point turn. OFF i MEAN i used to
• 19:55
  Speaker 2: like call all my team members after what are you?
• 19:58
  Speaker 2: Doing IF i go for a. Walk THEN i was,
• 19:59
  Speaker 2: LIKE i, Was, OH i didn't know how to shut
• 20:02
  Speaker 2: down my. HUSBAND i went up to date night to'd
• 20:04
  Speaker 2: be Like i'd be on my phone half the. Time,
• 20:06
  Speaker 2: Right so part of it is just, yes time, management
• 20:10
  Speaker 2: but second just finding time to just relax and be
• 20:15
  Speaker 2: creative and like be, joyful, Right and it's crazy how
• 20:22
  Speaker 2: much more PRODUCTIVE i am in the. MOMENTS i am
• 20:25
  Speaker 2: fully focused and work Because i'm fully focused in.
• 20:27
  Speaker 1: WORKING i feel so grateful for you and people Like
• 20:31
  Speaker 1: Eve rodsky Because i'm thirty AND i felt like the
• 20:36
  Speaker 1: women my age were taught that it's about girl power
• 20:41
  Speaker 1: and anything is possible and sacrifice, it sacrifice anything to
• 20:46
  Speaker 1: make it. Work exactly what you, said even within a
• 20:49
  Speaker 1: system that is often, confining and you are completely flipping
• 20:55
  Speaker 1: that on its. Head you're, saying there's a better. Way
• 20:57
  Speaker 1: there's a different. Way there's a way where you're not.
• 21:00
  Speaker 2: Exhausted, yes, yes, yes, yes is? Such that way was a?
• 21:05
  Speaker 2: LIE i, mean corporate feminism is corporate. Feminism it was
• 21:07
  Speaker 2: a lie that we bought, into, like, oh if you
• 21:09
  Speaker 2: get a, mentor and if you get a, sponsor if
• 21:11
  Speaker 2: you lean, in if you do, this then you'll like.
• 21:13
  Speaker 2: It and then when we didn't make, it we were, like,
• 21:15
  Speaker 2: wait what's? Wrong, yeah women gave up the, choices whether
• 21:20
  Speaker 2: it was, travel whether it was finding a, partner whether
• 21:22
  Speaker 2: it was or was not having a child, right and
• 21:26
  Speaker 2: it was, like what was what DID i do? Wrong
• 21:29
  Speaker 2: the system was lying to you the whole. Time you,
• 21:32
  Speaker 2: know even, Success like to, me success is not necessarily
• 21:36
  Speaker 2: even being in the. Workforce some people just want to
• 21:40
  Speaker 2: be with their, kids take care of their elderly, parents
• 21:42
  Speaker 2: like do, something you know WHAT i, Mean like success
• 21:44
  Speaker 2: is being able to have a life where you're, free
• 21:48
  Speaker 2: free to make the, choices free to move in and
• 21:50
  Speaker 2: out without penalty as you see. Fit and, Like i'm,
• 21:54
  Speaker 2: sorry but that's how men.
• 21:55
  Speaker 1: Navigate AND i think it's what real feminism, is and.
• 21:59
  Speaker 2: It's feminism is and it goes so it goes back
• 22:02
  Speaker 2: to your like LIKE i, too like love a red,
• 22:05
  Speaker 2: lipstick and you, Know i'm An indian. Girl we love our. Hair,
• 22:08
  Speaker 2: Right it's, like so that doesn't mean That i'm not, serious, right,
• 22:11
  Speaker 2: right doesn't mean LIKE i, think being able to fully
• 22:14
  Speaker 2: show up as yourself whatever that looks, like and however
• 22:17
  Speaker 2: that looks, like is. You AND i think every kind
• 22:19
  Speaker 2: of deck in and write about this in my Book
• 22:21
  Speaker 2: From Rosie revere to The Girl. Boss it's like we're
• 22:24
  Speaker 2: sold a different, brand a different we're supposed to fit
• 22:28
  Speaker 2: into and, behave you, KNOW i, mean and it's wild.
• 22:32
  Speaker 1: And you just blew my. Mind you're, right we're sold
• 22:35
  Speaker 1: a different brand each.
• 22:37
  Speaker 2: Generation each generation we're sold a Different we're sold a different,
• 22:40
  Speaker 2: brand and now people are confused because the thing is is,
• 22:44
  Speaker 2: like what's the? Brand, yeah what are we?
• 22:47
  Speaker 1: Selling Gen?
• 22:48
  Speaker 2: Z this is why everyone's so upset because Gen z
• 22:51
  Speaker 2: is like, wow you, know because they're Like, nope not buying. It, sorry,
• 22:57
  Speaker 2: sorry not. Sorry but THEN i think that again the
• 22:59
  Speaker 2: four is, above but, like well this will, Pass and
• 23:02
  Speaker 2: What i'm doing with my books saying, no, no don't
• 23:04
  Speaker 2: let this. Pass let's reinvent the workforce how we want
• 23:08
  Speaker 2: it to work for. Us let's take this opportunity to
• 23:12
  Speaker 2: build because we do have power in our, numbers but
• 23:15
  Speaker 2: we have to be honest about like really saying to
• 23:18
  Speaker 2: ourselves what DO i?
• 23:21
  Speaker 1: Want several years, AGO i tried to swap out as
• 23:27
  Speaker 1: many of my products as possible for clean. DUPLICATES i
• 23:32
  Speaker 1: transitioned my cleaning, supplies detergent and, skincare and that's WHEN
• 23:36
  Speaker 1: i Found. Origins since nineteen, Ninety origins has been the
• 23:40
  Speaker 1: pioneer in active natural. Skincare their team aren't experts in
• 23:44
  Speaker 1: plant science and skin.
• 23:46
  Speaker 3: Biology so what does that?
• 23:48
  Speaker 1: Mean, well, basically it means their products are better for our,
• 23:51
  Speaker 1: skin our well, being and our. Planet so for the
• 23:54
  Speaker 1: next few, Weeks origins is offering Pretty smart listeners a
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  Speaker 1: twenty percent off exclusive discount code to their. Website use
• 24:01
  Speaker 1: the code Pretty smart twenty to get twenty percent off
• 24:04
  Speaker 1: any purchase On origins dot. COM i love the idea
• 24:11
  Speaker 1: of reimagining what work looks, like which brings me To
• 24:14
  Speaker 1: Marshall plan For. Moms So i'm amazed by how you
• 24:19
  Speaker 1: identify a problem and then just. ACT a lot of
• 24:22
  Speaker 1: people identify the problem and continue to point it out
• 24:24
  Speaker 1: at dinner with friends and like on the, couch.
• 24:27
  Speaker 3: And they don't do.
• 24:27
  Speaker 1: Anything so you saw a gender gap in, tech you
• 24:30
  Speaker 1: Launched Girls Who. Code you watch the way the pandemic
• 24:34
  Speaker 1: impacted women's footprint in the labor, force and you sprang into.
• 24:37
  Speaker 1: Actions so you created The Marshall plan For. Moms what
• 24:40
  Speaker 1: did the pandemic illustrate to you about why we absolutely
• 24:43
  Speaker 1: need family?
• 24:44
  Speaker 2: Leave if it demonstrates to me that like the vast
• 24:47
  Speaker 2: majority of the unpaid labor done at home is done by,
• 24:50
  Speaker 2: women and in that, number it's like eighty six, percent
• 24:53
  Speaker 2: and that you, know you can't you, can't you, know
• 24:57
  Speaker 2: raise your hand from that promotion start that, blog launched that,
• 25:00
  Speaker 2: podcast build that. Movement if you are still doing the
• 25:03
  Speaker 2: vast majority of work at, home whether you are in
• 25:06
  Speaker 2: a heteronormative relationship or you are a single, mom you
• 25:11
  Speaker 2: know WHAT i, mean and you have no support structure
• 25:13
  Speaker 2: from government or. Society and so that was you know
• 25:16
  Speaker 2: in this you, know it's, funny LIKE i didn't intend
• 25:19
  Speaker 2: to build this, movement you KNOW i. WAS i was
• 25:22
  Speaker 2: Doing girls Of, codes saving the organization in the middle
• 25:25
  Speaker 2: of a global. Pandemic BUT i was a mom of
• 25:27
  Speaker 2: a six year old or a five year old back,
• 25:29
  Speaker 2: then and a newborn baby who was in public. School my,
• 25:32
  Speaker 2: son my five year was in public. School and so
• 25:34
  Speaker 2: when the school closures, happened and you, know they announced
• 25:38
  Speaker 2: like in two weeks this idea of zoom, school right
• 25:41
  Speaker 2: where you would have to log on your child at nine,
• 25:43
  Speaker 2: o'clock ten, o'clock at eleven, o'clock all the while maintaining
• 25:46
  Speaker 2: your full time. Job because at that, moment most acre
• 25:50
  Speaker 2: centers are shut down because OF. Covid you couldn't let
• 25:53
  Speaker 2: your grandparents or your parents or your caretakers in your, house,
• 25:55
  Speaker 2: right it was just you and your. Kids and you,
• 25:59
  Speaker 2: know we don't live the society where you can't most
• 26:01
  Speaker 2: people can not afford to. Work and all of the
• 26:05
  Speaker 2: data had already shown because we In america have these
• 26:07
  Speaker 2: things called time and use, sheets we knew who was
• 26:10
  Speaker 2: doing the laundry and the, caretaking in the. Schooling it was.
• 26:13
  Speaker 2: Women so the big shock to, ME i was so.
• 26:17
  Speaker 2: Naive THEN i was, like, well when AM i going
• 26:19
  Speaker 2: to get that email asking me IF i can do
• 26:21
  Speaker 2: this or IF i need any? Help and they just
• 26:24
  Speaker 2: assumed right that mothers would be the ones that were
• 26:29
  Speaker 2: homeschooling their children all the while maintaining their. Work and
• 26:34
  Speaker 2: so in that this happens In. September In, december you
• 26:37
  Speaker 2: start seeing these job reports come, out, right and in
• 26:41
  Speaker 2: The december jobs, report all the jobs lost we women
• 26:44
  Speaker 2: and women of. Color and we're still not saying anything about.
• 26:49
  Speaker 2: This and so for, me you, KNOW i spent my
• 26:51
  Speaker 2: life At Girls Who code trying to get women back
• 26:53
  Speaker 2: into the technology. Workforce but we forget is that in
• 26:57
  Speaker 2: the nineteen nineties we were at parody the technology, workforce
• 27:01
  Speaker 2: and then we push women. Out So i'm freaking out
• 27:04
  Speaker 2: In december Because i'm, like wait a, minute, no, no you
• 27:06
  Speaker 2: can't lose three million jobs like that that. QUICKLY i
• 27:10
  Speaker 2: think it's an on and off. Switch this is going
• 27:12
  Speaker 2: to take us thirty forty fifty years to get back
• 27:17
  Speaker 2: to because at the beginning OF, covid women were fifty
• 27:19
  Speaker 2: one percent of all that girl, bossing, right we were
• 27:22
  Speaker 2: fifty one percent of the labor, force the majority of.
• 27:25
  Speaker 2: Workers so we were getting, there like the you know
• 27:28
  Speaker 2: WHAT i, mean the prize was like in our we
• 27:30
  Speaker 2: could taste. It and SO i really wrote an op
• 27:35
  Speaker 2: ed just BECAUSE i was, pissed being, like we need
• 27:37
  Speaker 2: A marshall plan for. Moms and the crazy thing was
• 27:40
  Speaker 2: IS i started reading the comment section and not about,
• 27:44
  Speaker 2: you but every time you write from, sure if you
• 27:45
  Speaker 2: write something you read the comment, sections you really realize
• 27:48
  Speaker 2: then what you're you know what you're. Onto and the
• 27:51
  Speaker 2: crazy thing was in the comment, section people who were
• 27:55
  Speaker 2: on the left were, saying, well what about the? Dance
• 27:58
  Speaker 2: even though all of the losses were, women they were
• 28:01
  Speaker 2: still asking about, men both men and, women men and,
• 28:06
  Speaker 2: women mostly. Women and on the right people were, saying,
• 28:10
  Speaker 2: well motherhood's a. Choice you don't get. Anything why SHOULD
• 28:14
  Speaker 2: i my taxes pay for your? Childcare or you're paid
• 28:17
  Speaker 2: leave or this or, That and in, particular The United
• 28:20
  Speaker 2: states is one of the only industrialized nations that doesn't
• 28:23
  Speaker 2: offer paid. Leave so In, march when everyone was sick
• 28:26
  Speaker 2: and you had that, cough your company was going to
• 28:29
  Speaker 2: penalize you for taking. Leave you were going back to.
• 28:31
  Speaker 2: Work that's how this virus, spread, Right and so the
• 28:38
  Speaker 2: vast majority of women in our country go back to
• 28:41
  Speaker 2: work two weeks after having a. Baby you, Know american
• 28:44
  Speaker 2: dad spend seventy percent of them spend less than ten
• 28:47
  Speaker 2: days off once they have a. Child so we just
• 28:50
  Speaker 2: don't have a normal functioning society which says if you are,
• 28:54
  Speaker 2: sick if your child is, sick if you need to
• 28:57
  Speaker 2: take care of somebody who's in your household that you're caring,
• 28:59
  Speaker 2: for you can have paid time. Off and that is
• 29:03
  Speaker 2: really in many. WAYS i think what really broke us
• 29:07
  Speaker 2: as a. Nation and the shocking thing is is two years,
• 29:10
  Speaker 2: later after having this, conversation after seeing all these women,
• 29:13
  Speaker 2: leave after seeing the travesty on our children and our
• 29:16
  Speaker 2: societies at our, health we still haven't passed paid leave.
• 29:19
  Speaker 1: Yet SO i just want to read a few statistics
• 29:23
  Speaker 1: from your website BECAUSE i think they're. Jarring two point
• 29:26
  Speaker 1: three million women left the workforce in the last. Year
• 29:28
  Speaker 1: you said it's up to. Three it was.
• 29:31
  Speaker 2: Three in the, beginning but it's women are starting to,
• 29:33
  Speaker 2: return but they're not returning to the same jobs that
• 29:35
  Speaker 2: they had.
• 29:36
  Speaker 1: Before so you, said as you, said thirty years of
• 29:39
  Speaker 1: progress erased, overnight and two x rate women of color
• 29:43
  Speaker 1: are leaving the workforce compared to white, men and the
• 29:47
  Speaker 1: sacrifices of moms were allowing the country to. RUN i
• 29:53
  Speaker 1: can't quite wrap my head around what the loss of
• 29:58
  Speaker 1: two point three million women in the work force looks
• 30:01
  Speaker 1: like ten twenty thirty years down the. Road what ramifications
• 30:05
  Speaker 1: do you.
• 30:05
  Speaker 2: SEE i, mean it's. ENORMOUS i mean it's enormous for
• 30:09
  Speaker 2: so many, women for, example who were working as nurses
• 30:14
  Speaker 2: but then needed a job that was quote more, flexible,
• 30:17
  Speaker 2: right and so they downshifted their. Careers you're seeing a
• 30:19
  Speaker 2: lot of downshifting and going into other industries where they make,
• 30:23
  Speaker 2: less you know WHAT i, mean and they're not operating
• 30:26
  Speaker 2: maybe at at their fullest, potential o their fullest, dreams you.
• 30:29
  Speaker 2: KNOW i think you're seeing a lot more women who
• 30:31
  Speaker 2: are leaving senior, positions you, know looking for more, flexibility
• 30:35
  Speaker 2: and so you, know for, example in. Tech fifty percent
• 30:37
  Speaker 2: of women leave three years into being in the in
• 30:40
  Speaker 2: the tech, workforce and a lot of that is when
• 30:42
  Speaker 2: you talk to, them is you, know because of you,
• 30:45
  Speaker 2: know the inherent work we need to do in terms
• 30:48
  Speaker 2: of discrimination and, racism but also because they, say, WELL
• 30:51
  Speaker 2: i don't see anybody who looks like.
• 30:53
  Speaker 1: Me all of my friends that are attorneys say the same.
• 30:56
  Speaker 2: Thing, yeah and we're not in offices right, now SO
• 30:59
  Speaker 2: i don't think we. Recognize if everybody went to the office,
• 31:02
  Speaker 2: tomorrow you would see far fewer women and far fewer
• 31:07
  Speaker 2: women in senior. Roles Right so both for salaried employees
• 31:11
  Speaker 2: and hourly, workers there's a, huge huge shift. Happening the
• 31:15
  Speaker 2: other thing is is that you lose forty percent of
• 31:17
  Speaker 2: your income if you leave for more than one, year
• 31:21
  Speaker 2: and so we penalize women who go in and out
• 31:24
  Speaker 2: of the work. Worce many companies have algorithms that just
• 31:26
  Speaker 2: spit your resume, out so it's very hard even once
• 31:30
  Speaker 2: you take that time off to. LEAVE i, mean listen,
• 31:33
  Speaker 2: again going back to all of these studies that are
• 31:36
  Speaker 2: talking about mental, health AND i, mean we have an
• 31:38
  Speaker 2: epidemic in our country right now in terms of the
• 31:40
  Speaker 2: mental health of our young. People you're a, mother you're a,
• 31:43
  Speaker 2: parent you're feeling, that and you work for an employee who's,
• 31:47
  Speaker 2: LIKE i want to see you in the office five
• 31:48
  Speaker 2: days a. Week, uh you got to take your kid to,
• 31:50
  Speaker 2: Therapy you got to, support you know WHAT i. Mean
• 31:53
  Speaker 2: you have other things that you have to, do and
• 31:54
  Speaker 2: so you're gonna, again you need to, Work so you're
• 31:58
  Speaker 2: not gonna take that, job but you're gonna take another.
• 31:59
  Speaker 2: One we're gonna take a pay, cut you know WHAT i,
• 32:01
  Speaker 2: Mean and you have maybe greater. Skills and so that is,
• 32:05
  Speaker 2: happening so that numbers of women that are you'll see
• 32:09
  Speaker 2: women are starting to quote, return but they're not returning
• 32:11
  Speaker 2: at the same. Level and that's the other conversation that
• 32:14
  Speaker 2: we're not. Having it really is shocking to, me. Shocking
• 32:19
  Speaker 2: you're gonna remember this because two years from, now three
• 32:21
  Speaker 2: years from, now front page of The New York times
• 32:23
  Speaker 2: is gonna be like what happened to the? Women like
• 32:25
  Speaker 2: we're gonna and it's so.
• 32:27
  Speaker 1: Frustrating, right the answer is right in front of.
• 32:30
  Speaker 2: Us, well we can do, now we can start working
• 32:32
  Speaker 2: in and out and then we don't have to deal with.
• 32:34
  Speaker 2: That you know WHAT i mean three four years from,
• 32:37
  Speaker 2: now when it's so late that we're waiting for another
• 32:39
  Speaker 2: generation to come in and we're, gonna you, know girl
• 32:42
  Speaker 2: boss them right to get them back Into and so
• 32:45
  Speaker 2: it's like this vicious cycle that happens over and over
• 32:48
  Speaker 2: and over. Again that is What i'm trying to. Prevent,
• 32:50
  Speaker 2: so you, know one is really just literally like standing
• 32:53
  Speaker 2: in front of EVERY ceo to The president of The
• 32:55
  Speaker 2: United states and being, like what are you gonna? Do,
• 32:58
  Speaker 2: like what is your? PLAN i? WANT a woman's jobs
• 33:01
  Speaker 2: are in every single state in The United, states government
• 33:05
  Speaker 2: in quite, freeing in every. COMPANY i want somebody stating
• 33:07
  Speaker 2: there with a spreadsheets was saying how many women? Left
• 33:11
  Speaker 2: were the levers That i'm gonna? Pull how DO i
• 33:14
  Speaker 2: get them?
• 33:14
  Speaker 1: Back you?
• 33:15
  Speaker 2: Know and we literally have to count back to where
• 33:17
  Speaker 2: we were and better than we were. Before and that
• 33:19
  Speaker 2: means that we have to make really big kind of structural, changes,
• 33:22
  Speaker 2: like you, know we shouldn't be arguing about come to
• 33:25
  Speaker 2: the office like if, done let's talk about how can
• 33:29
  Speaker 2: we design the office in a way that allows people
• 33:32
  Speaker 2: to have.
• 33:33
  Speaker 1: Flexibility, well WHEN i was In, CHICAGO i did a morning.
• 33:36
  Speaker 1: SHOW i interviewed this, Woman Ellen, bravo who's From milwaukee
• 33:39
  Speaker 1: and is like has a book from twenty years ago
• 33:42
  Speaker 1: talking about family. Leave and she was the first person
• 33:45
  Speaker 1: to bring this to my. Attention AND i, Said, ELLEN
• 33:48
  Speaker 1: i want to buy into all of this BECAUSE i
• 33:50
  Speaker 1: believe it in my. Heart but how do you economically
• 33:54
  Speaker 1: make this viable for? Companies how do you tell them
• 33:56
  Speaker 1: it's in their best interest? Financially and she said to, Me,
• 34:00
  Speaker 1: danielle the number one expense for companies is, turnover and
• 34:06
  Speaker 1: none of them recognize. It and so keeping a woman
• 34:09
  Speaker 1: on the, job even if it means being more, flexible
• 34:12
  Speaker 1: is completely financially to their.
• 34:15
  Speaker 2: Benefit, YEAH i, mean girls are crossing a huge. Organization
• 34:20
  Speaker 2: ninety five percent of the people who are from here.
• 34:21
  Speaker 2: Women there's always somebody who's. Pregnant there's always someone who's taking.
• 34:25
  Speaker 2: Time and before The New York state offered paid, leave we.
• 34:28
  Speaker 2: DID i did because it was really important to. Me
• 34:31
  Speaker 2: it has not hurt our business or or if anything
• 34:35
  Speaker 2: is enhanced for that. Reason because when you take care
• 34:38
  Speaker 2: of someone when they've had a, child and you say
• 34:40
  Speaker 2: take your, time you, KNOW i mean we will support,
• 34:42
  Speaker 2: you we will pay you to take your. Time they're
• 34:44
  Speaker 2: with you forever that loyalty is. Unmatched and the other
• 34:48
  Speaker 2: thing that's happened is like people kind of figure it
• 34:50
  Speaker 2: out and you you, know people pitch in and you
• 34:53
  Speaker 2: learn to build other skills and so it's never been
• 34:57
  Speaker 2: AND i say this again as a, business as A,
• 34:59
  Speaker 2: ceo it has never been a detriment. Financially it's been a.
• 35:04
  Speaker 2: Benefit SO i think that again this is like this,
• 35:06
  Speaker 2: myth you, KNOW i mean that we've kind of but
• 35:09
  Speaker 2: anybody who's offered this benefit in a meaningful way does
• 35:13
  Speaker 2: not feel like it's like broken their, business even for
• 35:15
  Speaker 2: a small.
• 35:16
  Speaker 1: Business so the build Back better plan or the BILL
• 35:21
  Speaker 1: i should, say family leave was left out of. It
• 35:25
  Speaker 1: and the only thing that was left out Your instagram.
• 35:29
  Speaker 1: EXPLODED i mean as soon as it was left, out
• 35:32
  Speaker 1: you were the first person to. POST i read almost
• 35:36
  Speaker 1: all of the messages and it was the first time
• 35:39
  Speaker 1: THAT i had seen men. Angry, yeah what do you
• 35:43
  Speaker 1: think that shift? Was why did they decide to pitch in?
• 35:46
  Speaker 2: Now BECAUSE i think that men have spent the past
• 35:49
  Speaker 2: who you, were spending more time with their, children and
• 35:52
  Speaker 2: you know they love. It so many days are touched
• 35:54
  Speaker 2: to LIKE i want to take my kids to school every.
• 35:56
  Speaker 2: Day i'm not going to go work for a company
• 35:58
  Speaker 2: that doesn't allow me to do. That so here's the
• 36:00
  Speaker 2: opportunity that you, know we're going to be really pushing
• 36:03
  Speaker 2: for a for marcial plan for. Moms is like we
• 36:05
  Speaker 2: gaslight men at work when they take.
• 36:08
  Speaker 3: Leave you.
• 36:08
  Speaker 2: Know THE ceo Of, palenteer the ward Chaired, palentteer said
• 36:11
  Speaker 2: you're a loser if you take paid, leave and so
• 36:15
  Speaker 2: that is really the attitude THAT i see in Corporate
• 36:18
  Speaker 2: america all the. Time the second thing, is let's be.
• 36:21
  Speaker 2: HONEST i think men see the motherhood, penalty so there
• 36:24
  Speaker 2: is a paid differential once you have a, child and
• 36:27
  Speaker 2: they see the way that moms are treated in the,
• 36:29
  Speaker 2: workforce and their opportunities, change their upper trajectory, changes and they're, like,
• 36:33
  Speaker 2: WELL i can't do that to my career. Too and
• 36:36
  Speaker 2: SO i feel like they are in solidarity with us
• 36:41
  Speaker 2: in wanting that to. Change and a big thing that
• 36:43
  Speaker 2: we're going to be pushing is making sure that there's
• 36:45
  Speaker 2: gender neutral paid leaf. Policies you should not offer eight
• 36:48
  Speaker 2: weeks for a mom and two weeks for a. Dad
• 36:51
  Speaker 2: because here's the thing that the biggest thing THAT i
• 36:53
  Speaker 2: learned is that corporations have a role to play in
• 36:56
  Speaker 2: gender quality at. Home you, know my husband AND i
• 36:59
  Speaker 2: first got. Married the, laundry he you, know did the,
• 37:01
  Speaker 2: groceries he did, everything AND i was, like put my
• 37:04
  Speaker 2: feet up On. Netflix, right we don't have a, baby
• 37:08
  Speaker 2: AND i take leave and he really. Doesn't and everything
• 37:10
  Speaker 2: in our relationship. Changed and it's just BECAUSE i started
• 37:14
  Speaker 2: doing these things and then they became my things THAT i,
• 37:17
  Speaker 2: did my. Expertise you.
• 37:19
  Speaker 1: Changed people say.
• 37:20
  Speaker 2: That by all the things, right you, know you booked
• 37:22
  Speaker 2: the kids to play, dates you're in. Charge AND i
• 37:26
  Speaker 2: really think that if we had, basically IF i had
• 37:28
  Speaker 2: taken the first eight weeks off and he had taken
• 37:30
  Speaker 2: the second eight weeks off or whatever it, was we wouldn't.
• 37:33
  Speaker 2: Have and this is the perpetual fight in our. Relationship
• 37:36
  Speaker 2: so my point is is that and he's one of
• 37:38
  Speaker 2: the good, ones.
• 37:39
  Speaker 3: You know WHAT i.
• 37:40
  Speaker 2: MEAN i think that if companies start offering paid you,
• 37:44
  Speaker 2: know gender neutral paid, leave they can help start shifting
• 37:47
  Speaker 2: that gender ratio of who does domestic work at, home
• 37:50
  Speaker 2: who does the unpaid. Labor norway is a great example
• 37:53
  Speaker 2: of how this has, happened and this can happen very.
• 37:56
  Speaker 1: QUICKLY i was a poly side, major and one of
• 37:59
  Speaker 1: my professors always, said or post a question to, us
• 38:02
  Speaker 1: do laws change people or do people change? Laws AND
• 38:05
  Speaker 1: i came away after four years and, THOUGHT i think,
• 38:09
  Speaker 1: Both like why don't we do it at the same?
• 38:12
  Speaker 1: Time you, know SO i like what you're. PROPOSING i
• 38:15
  Speaker 1: think that's.
• 38:15
  Speaker 2: RIGHT i will, say, THOUGH i think rollout. Matters SO
• 38:20
  Speaker 2: i think offering paid leave in and of itself without
• 38:23
  Speaker 2: having a conversation about what we're trying to achieve and
• 38:27
  Speaker 2: how we're trying to achieve it is not. Helpful and
• 38:30
  Speaker 2: that's the one thing in this, moment you know why
• 38:32
  Speaker 2: again for martial mard for. Moms you, know we don't
• 38:35
  Speaker 2: have a moment that is for, moms buy. Moms every
• 38:38
  Speaker 2: mom's movement has been about climate change for your, kids
• 38:41
  Speaker 2: gun reform for your, kids MOTHERS a gets drunk driving
• 38:44
  Speaker 2: to save your. Kids but because moms have been treated as,
• 38:48
  Speaker 2: martyrs to think about what we can ask for things for,
• 38:51
  Speaker 2: ourselves moms matter as seen as. PROBLEMATIC i, mean even
• 38:56
  Speaker 2: as they talk about the child tax credit that's in the,
• 38:58
  Speaker 2: bill they talk about it in terms of child. Poverty,
• 39:02
  Speaker 2: no IT'S i should get a check for all the
• 39:05
  Speaker 2: unpaid labor THAT i do because you, know at this,
• 39:07
  Speaker 2: moment so many people in your generation in, particular, right
• 39:09
  Speaker 2: we have the lowest birth rate. Ever every study shows
• 39:12
  Speaker 2: That millennia is, LIKE i don't want to have, kids
• 39:15
  Speaker 2: and this has been a CONSEQUENCE i think in many
• 39:17
  Speaker 2: ways after the past two, years as they watch us
• 39:20
  Speaker 2: and they, say uh, uh LIKE i don't want to
• 39:24
  Speaker 2: be treated that. Way so we've got to have this
• 39:27
  Speaker 2: cultural shift because any society that, doesn't you, know have
• 39:31
  Speaker 2: a growing birth rate is one that doesn't.
• 39:33
  Speaker 1: Survive we haven't talked about why paid leave is also
• 39:36
  Speaker 1: a racial justice, issue and you have so much to
• 39:39
  Speaker 1: say about. That can we dig in a little?
• 39:40
  Speaker 2: Bit, listen seventy percent Of black women are not only
• 39:44
  Speaker 2: the single, breadwinner but the single care. Taker and you,
• 39:48
  Speaker 2: know if we are going to get to racial, equality you,
• 39:50
  Speaker 2: know we have got to start repairing our structure of.
• 39:53
  Speaker 2: CARE i saw this At girls With. Corod you, know
• 39:55
  Speaker 2: fifty percent of girls a teacher are black and brown
• 39:57
  Speaker 2: and under the poverty, line and so many nice to
• 40:00
  Speaker 2: have done everything to learn how to. Code you, know
• 40:02
  Speaker 2: when the pandemic hit and their moms were essential, workers
• 40:05
  Speaker 2: they they couldn't go to, School we're Getting Wi fi
• 40:08
  Speaker 2: and burger, king parking lots and taking care of their, siblings,
• 40:10
  Speaker 2: right all of. It you, know we have all these,
• 40:12
  Speaker 2: policies like we go To india And, africa we, say
• 40:15
  Speaker 2: let girls. Learn we know everywhere across the world that
• 40:17
  Speaker 2: when girls are saddled with caretaking, responsibilities they cannot be. Educated,
• 40:21
  Speaker 2: well guess, what the same thing is happening here in
• 40:23
  Speaker 2: The United. States and so all of these black and
• 40:26
  Speaker 2: brown girls that were marching up into the middle, CLASS
• 40:29
  Speaker 2: covid decimated their you, know their hopes and, dreams and
• 40:33
  Speaker 2: so fixing the care, infrastructure you, know is at the
• 40:37
  Speaker 2: heart of.
• 40:37
  Speaker 1: That Kristin jillibrand, said to provide paid, leave you have
• 40:41
  Speaker 1: to value women and their. Work and valuing women and
• 40:44
  Speaker 1: their work is a hard thing for The United. States
• 40:47
  Speaker 1: one of the THINGS i was thinking about was so
• 40:51
  Speaker 1: much of the care lends on, Women and is it
• 40:54
  Speaker 1: by choice or is it because we're statistically paid? Less
• 40:58
  Speaker 1: and so it wouldn't be a smart decision for the
• 41:03
  Speaker 1: husband to take a step down from his. Work it
• 41:05
  Speaker 1: would make sense for the woman. TOO i think it's
• 41:09
  Speaker 1: all of the.
• 41:10
  Speaker 2: Above even if you look at what's, happening you, know
• 41:13
  Speaker 2: with our tax code for, example, right our tax, code
• 41:16
  Speaker 2: and this is massively affecting women of, color because even
• 41:20
  Speaker 2: when we think about paid, leave paid leaves shouldn't just
• 41:21
  Speaker 2: be for you, know wealthy salaried. Employees it should be for. Everyone,
• 41:27
  Speaker 2: Right we got to approach the fight this. Way you,
• 41:30
  Speaker 2: know whether it's subsidizing childcare or paid, leave we all get.
• 41:33
  Speaker 2: It and whether you are black or, brown rich or,
• 41:36
  Speaker 2: poor if you want to spend time with your, child
• 41:39
  Speaker 2: you should get a right to do, that you. Know
• 41:41
  Speaker 2: and the way that our tax code is written is
• 41:44
  Speaker 2: that if you are, rich we are going to tax
• 41:46
  Speaker 2: you so, high especially if you're dual income, earners that
• 41:50
  Speaker 2: you have to have that conversation at home and say
• 41:51
  Speaker 2: it doesn't really make sense for you to. Work and
• 41:53
  Speaker 2: the person who that affects is a. Woman if you are,
• 41:57
  Speaker 2: poor we are going to make the cost of childcare
• 41:59
  Speaker 2: so expensive that you have no choice but to. Work
• 42:02
  Speaker 2: and what we're saying to, you you, know someone who
• 42:05
  Speaker 2: is poor and sometimes a woman of, Color you are
• 42:08
  Speaker 2: a bad. Mom you are not a good. Mom so
• 42:10
  Speaker 2: we want, you we want you to go to. Work
• 42:12
  Speaker 2: and what we're saying to you, wealthy often white. Woman
• 42:15
  Speaker 2: you're a great, mom so we want you to stay at.
• 42:18
  Speaker 2: Home so the entire tax, STRUCTURE i would, argue is
• 42:21
  Speaker 2: racist right in the way that we approach. This how
• 42:25
  Speaker 2: we pay for childcare. Workers you, know parking lot and
• 42:28
  Speaker 2: tendants make more than childcare. Workers that's just a sign
• 42:31
  Speaker 2: of how we value our kids and how we value our.
• 42:34
  Speaker 2: CARETAKERS i you, know every Everything i've been able to
• 42:38
  Speaker 2: do in my life is because Of, audrey you, know
• 42:40
  Speaker 2: who has cared for my. Children Every time any any ted,
• 42:44
  Speaker 2: talk any, book any girls are, good that's her because
• 42:47
  Speaker 2: she was my. Partner you know WHAT i mean in
• 42:49
  Speaker 2: allowing me and again just goes back to, ANSWER i,
• 42:53
  Speaker 2: mean so many of these women you would think that
• 42:54
  Speaker 2: they're doing it by, themselves you, know because again there's
• 42:58
  Speaker 2: like shame in that we as a, mom you don't
• 43:02
  Speaker 2: get help and you have to pretend that you're doing
• 43:05
  Speaker 2: all of it when that's a. Lie and we need
• 43:08
  Speaker 2: to celebrate the women in our lives who are helping
• 43:11
  Speaker 2: us make this, happen often women of, color and we
• 43:15
  Speaker 2: need to fight for them to make sure that they
• 43:16
  Speaker 2: are paid, fairly, adequately justly richly because of what they
• 43:21
  Speaker 2: do for, us our, families in the, world in our,
• 43:24
  Speaker 2: society and so so. AGAIN i MEAN i think that
• 43:26
  Speaker 2: there's just, again so much of this is so, interconnected
• 43:29
  Speaker 2: right between, patriarchy, race big, life corporate, feminism, right it's
• 43:36
  Speaker 2: so it's so. INTERCONNECTION i think the thing is is
• 43:38
  Speaker 2: that so many of us see like NOW i, see
• 43:41
  Speaker 2: now you, see and you, KNOW i think you're having
• 43:45
  Speaker 2: so many incredible women and. MEN i was never talking
• 43:49
  Speaker 2: about these issues a year. Ago, NEVER i wasn't even
• 43:53
  Speaker 2: thinking about. THEM i would write about this my. BOOK
• 43:56
  Speaker 2: i would get annoyed IF i went to a speaking
• 43:58
  Speaker 2: gig and someone was, like, well, well you know what
• 44:00
  Speaker 2: DO i do about life? FAMILY i would literally wave
• 44:05
  Speaker 2: and be, like don't ask me, that don't worry about.
• 44:07
  Speaker 2: It that's how MUCH i had bought in to this.
• 44:12
  Speaker 1: Line SO covid is what switched the light.
• 44:14
  Speaker 2: On, yeah BECAUSE i was, like this is. Rigged it's
• 44:17
  Speaker 2: never gonna, happened this is never going to happen, Never
• 44:23
  Speaker 2: LIKE i feel like for, me it's, like throw out
• 44:27
  Speaker 2: that word work life, balance don't ever say. It throw
• 44:30
  Speaker 2: out all your girl, Boss i'm a, hustler blah blah blah.
• 44:33
  Speaker 2: Blah but you throw in the, garbage you, know and,
• 44:36
  Speaker 2: like we have got to fix this, issue demand for
• 44:40
  Speaker 2: these structural, changes because if you don't have paid, leave
• 44:43
  Speaker 2: if you don't have affordable, childcare if you don't have you,
• 44:46
  Speaker 2: know if you don't close the mother and a. Penalty,
• 44:48
  Speaker 2: remember eighty six percent of women that are over forty
• 44:51
  Speaker 2: in the workforce are. Moms so even when you talk
• 44:54
  Speaker 2: about the pay, gap it is not between childless women and.
• 44:59
  Speaker 2: Men it's between mothers and. Fathers and so we're not
• 45:04
  Speaker 2: even the language that we're, using the data that we're,
• 45:07
  Speaker 2: using what we are talking about are the wrong. Things
• 45:10
  Speaker 2: like IF HBr writes another article on getting a sponsor or,
• 45:13
  Speaker 2: Mentor i'm going to like shout this from a mountaintop
• 45:17
  Speaker 2: and be like stop, right because it's like that's so
• 45:21
  Speaker 2: we're all focused on getting our mentors and our sponsors
• 45:24
  Speaker 2: and like blah blah blah. Blah none of that. Matters
• 45:28
  Speaker 2: because if you're still doing eighty six percent of the
• 45:31
  Speaker 2: housework at, home if you still are the vast puguier
• 45:35
  Speaker 2: salary is going to, childcare if you still don't get paid,
• 45:37
  Speaker 2: leave you're not focused on these. Things you, know it
• 45:41
  Speaker 2: doesn't matter if you have that because all you're doing
• 45:45
  Speaker 2: is all of it and you're.
• 45:46
  Speaker 1: Exhausted so you brought me to my last question. Beautifully
• 45:53
  Speaker 1: there's a quote on Your instagram about the problem with
• 45:57
  Speaker 1: today's lean in Girl boss. Feminism you say the problem
• 46:00
  Speaker 1: is that asks women to succeed despite a lack of structural.
• 46:02
  Speaker 1: CHANGES i think about this often in my own. Life
• 46:09
  Speaker 1: in many, ways in our, country you have to completely
• 46:12
  Speaker 1: defy the odds to, quote live The american, dream pull
• 46:16
  Speaker 1: yourself up by your. Bootstraps there's also a notion of
• 46:19
  Speaker 1: if that you buy into the fact that this is
• 46:23
  Speaker 1: statistically so, difficult you become a victim in your own.
• 46:26
  Speaker 1: Life how do you not let recognizing these structural inequalities
• 46:31
  Speaker 1: allow you to opt?
• 46:32
  Speaker 2: Out, oh it emboldens me, more, right because it feels,
• 46:36
  Speaker 2: LIKE i, mean the point is as funny as you
• 46:39
  Speaker 2: were talking IS i think it's the same thing we
• 46:42
  Speaker 2: do to, immigrants to people of, color to, women to you,
• 46:46
  Speaker 2: KNOW lgbtq communities or trans. Community it's like we, say,
• 46:50
  Speaker 2: well if you didn't make, it you weren't exceptional, enough
• 46:54
  Speaker 2: because it's all a, meritocracy and that basically says to
• 46:59
  Speaker 2: all of. Us it keeps us from focused on the,
• 47:02
  Speaker 2: structure and NOW i see, right and so now to
• 47:07
  Speaker 2: me as we, are you, know forming in. SISTERHOOD i
• 47:12
  Speaker 2: think that, like we can fight the, structure you, know
• 47:15
  Speaker 2: we can bring about structural. Change it's almost harder to
• 47:19
  Speaker 2: be individually perfect than it is to, say, oh let's
• 47:23
  Speaker 2: let let's fight the. STRUCTURE i just think they collectively. Brave,
• 47:27
  Speaker 2: YEAH i love that that's, right collectively. BRAVE i think
• 47:31
  Speaker 2: the thing is on this particular. Issue you, know there
• 47:36
  Speaker 2: is like if you talk to, like you, know a
• 47:38
  Speaker 2: friend of mine was at her yoga class and her
• 47:40
  Speaker 2: six am yoga teacher, said you're, Guys i'm, SORRY i
• 47:42
  Speaker 2: can't teach this class. ANYMORE i got to take care
• 47:44
  Speaker 2: of my. Kid my husband's a, jerk, RIGHT i don't
• 47:47
  Speaker 2: have any. Childcare it's too. EXPENSIVE i can't teach this class.
• 47:49
  Speaker 2: Anymore and my, friend you, know she's, marsh she's. Provad
• 47:53
  Speaker 2: pmtam went upturned and she, said, well do you know
• 47:54
  Speaker 2: about this bill that's happening In. Congress and she was, like,
• 47:57
  Speaker 2: OH i thought that bill was about roads and. Bridges
• 48:00
  Speaker 2: if you ask the mass majority of women what is paid,
• 48:02
  Speaker 2: leave they won't. Know so we don't even know that
• 48:07
  Speaker 2: we're entitled to these things that women in other countries,
• 48:11
  Speaker 2: Have these things that are these are the things that
• 48:13
  Speaker 2: are standing in in the way of our, potential of our,
• 48:17
  Speaker 2: joy you, know of our. Happiness and so you, KNOW
• 48:21
  Speaker 2: i think that there has to Be and that's Why
• 48:23
  Speaker 2: i'm so excited about my next. Book it's like it
• 48:25
  Speaker 2: is like short. Manifesto here's everything you need to, know,
• 48:28
  Speaker 2: right and this is what we're gonna. Do but we
• 48:30
  Speaker 2: got to. Organize AND i always, say Like i'm hopeful
• 48:33
  Speaker 2: because you, know we need to go from rage to.
• 48:35
  Speaker 2: Power but like we are in the throws between what's
• 48:38
  Speaker 2: happening With roe. V wade and what's happening with the
• 48:41
  Speaker 2: laborforce right, now we're in the throes of the next
• 48:44
  Speaker 2: movement of. Women and it cannot be like the movements
• 48:47
  Speaker 2: of the. Past it cannot be about one or two
• 48:50
  Speaker 2: or three leaders that are you, know that we, glorify
• 48:53
  Speaker 2: that we, brand that we build. Up it's it's got
• 48:56
  Speaker 2: to be about our own, education in our own sense
• 49:01
  Speaker 2: of like we are all in this. Together we cannot
• 49:03
  Speaker 2: fight for payleave for me and you and not, her
• 49:06
  Speaker 2: you know WHAT i, Mean that's not right it doesn't.
• 49:08
  Speaker 1: Work we've seen it not.
• 49:10
  Speaker 2: Work we've always been pitted against one. Another AND i
• 49:12
  Speaker 2: actually think that this, moment even though there's been different
• 49:16
  Speaker 2: degrees of, suffering different degrees of like, pain there's a
• 49:21
  Speaker 2: collective shared experience that we have gone through as women
• 49:26
  Speaker 2: over the past two years that has made us feel
• 49:29
  Speaker 2: again so, unseen so, unrespected so. Undignified that it is
• 49:36
  Speaker 2: we are on the cusp of something, huge you. Know
• 49:40
  Speaker 2: BUT i think that again with this, book it's like
• 49:43
  Speaker 2: we kind of got to like draw the lines for
• 49:46
  Speaker 2: everybody connect the dots and dots are so clear in
• 49:50
  Speaker 2: my head right now than they've ever.
• 49:51
  Speaker 1: Been it's amazing BECAUSE i think they're unclear for a
• 49:55
  Speaker 1: lot of. People So i'm excited that your book is coming.
• 49:58
  Speaker 1: Out are you able to talk more about? It when
• 50:00
  Speaker 1: does it come?
• 50:00
  Speaker 2: Out it's Out march fifteenth In middle Of Women's. Instrument
• 50:05
  Speaker 2: it's Called Pay. Up i'm the proudest of this. Book
• 50:07
  Speaker 2: this is the best Thing i've ever written and the
• 50:09
  Speaker 2: best Thing i've ever like. Pushed AND i think that
• 50:11
  Speaker 2: there's a moment in an, opportunity you, know to really
• 50:15
  Speaker 2: change things once and for. All LIKE i want to
• 50:17
  Speaker 2: finish this fight once for.
• 50:19
  Speaker 1: All i'm with, you AND i actually think it's. POSSIBLE
• 50:23
  Speaker 1: i do.
• 50:23
  Speaker 2: Too AND i know it's probably people think Maybe listen's
• 50:25
  Speaker 2: a crazy thinking that, like do you see what's happening this?
• 50:28
  Speaker 2: ReCore do you see what's happening in the? World, Like
• 50:30
  Speaker 2: BUT i actually, like this is exactly the moment where
• 50:34
  Speaker 2: we radically think differently about, things and that's what we.
• 50:39
  Speaker 1: NEED i THINK covid was the first time that the
• 50:42
  Speaker 1: word reimagined meant anything to, people, like, oh we can redesign.
• 50:46
  Speaker 2: Things, yeah and we don't not do it that. Way
• 50:49
  Speaker 2: you don't have to do it that. Way that's.
• 50:50
  Speaker 1: Right what is a book that should be required reading
• 50:53
  Speaker 1: for every human? Being?
• 50:55
  Speaker 2: Oh, gosh, well right NOW i am Reading The bug With,
• 50:57
  Speaker 2: Keita so for, me it's like My i'm taking a.
• 51:01
  Speaker 2: CLASS i think, that you, know It's i've been thinking
• 51:05
  Speaker 2: about this a. Lot this was the only crisis where
• 51:08
  Speaker 2: people didn't move closer To god and, spirituality AND i
• 51:11
  Speaker 2: think that that is also what is deeply. Problematic and
• 51:15
  Speaker 2: so whatever that is for, you, know whether that's a meditation,
• 51:17
  Speaker 2: book whether that's The, bible you, know whether that's kurn,
• 51:20
  Speaker 2: like whether that's a gita. LIKE i think it's, like you,
• 51:23
  Speaker 2: know the tour. LIKE i think it's like trying to
• 51:25
  Speaker 2: find something that is going to move you and inspire
• 51:30
  Speaker 2: you and also help you slow.
• 51:33
  Speaker 1: Down you, know nobody has ever said that on this. Podcast, no,
• 51:37
  Speaker 1: really no one's ever said. That I've i've now interviewed
• 51:40
  Speaker 1: almost one hundred. PEOPLE i really really like. THAT i
• 51:45
  Speaker 1: do A i have a card deck That i'm going
• 51:49
  Speaker 1: to send, you but it's fifty Two.
• 51:50
  Speaker 2: Are we to do like a? Terror card? Reading?
• 51:52
  Speaker 1: WRITING i WISH i was that. Talented, no it's fifty
• 51:55
  Speaker 1: two questions for deeper conversation AND i pickle on at,
• 51:58
  Speaker 1: random so you just have to.
• 51:59
  Speaker 3: Tell me when to.
• 51:59
  Speaker 1: Stop so what would younger you not believe about your
• 52:04
  Speaker 1: life today.
• 52:05
  Speaker 2: THAT i find it hard to still have? FUN i
• 52:08
  Speaker 2: do do that was so fun WHEN i was.
• 52:10
  Speaker 1: YOUNG i know it's also a female thing, productivity, right
• 52:15
  Speaker 1: like cleaning the garage seems. Fun, lastly what is the
• 52:19
  Speaker 1: smartest decision you've ever? Made you?
• 52:21
  Speaker 2: Know running For? Congress my little six year old broke
• 52:24
  Speaker 2: it down to me that. Day he's, Like, mommy if
• 52:25
  Speaker 2: you didn't, run you wouldn't have Started girls Of code
• 52:27
  Speaker 2: And i'm, like you're. Great IF i didn't run and,
• 52:28
  Speaker 2: LOSE i would never have Started girls Of. Code and
• 52:31
  Speaker 2: IF i didn't, START i wouldn't started with marshallaing. Mom
• 52:33
  Speaker 2: so all roads lead to that wonderful.
• 52:36
  Speaker 3: Decision all, right today is a good.
• 53:05
  Speaker 1: Day to have a good.
• 53:05
  Speaker 3: Day i'll see you next.
• 53:07
  Speaker 2: Week m.
• 53:12
  Speaker 1: Hm