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Reclaiming Your Voice · Is Your Way In Your Way?

0:25
Cassandra: There to all of my listeners, and I'd like to welcome you to Is Your Way in Your Way podcast.
0:31
Cassandra: I am your host.
0:33
Cassandra: My name is Cassandra Crawley Mayo.
0:35
Cassandra: And for those new listeners out there, that's actually the name of my book, Is Your Way in Your Way.
0:42
Cassandra: And this podcast is all about what I call personal development.
0:46
Cassandra: It's about having individuals on who have overcome internal and external barriers that was preventing them from living their best life on their terms.
1:00
Cassandra: So, in other words, I want to ask you a question.
1:05
Cassandra: Have you ever felt that there that your past stole your voice or your past has just hindered you from moving forward?
1:15
Cassandra: Or are you just ashamed of your past?
1:17
Cassandra: And you also thought it would break you.
1:24
Cassandra: It all depends on your perspective and your mindset.
1:28
Cassandra: My guest today knows the journey all too well.
1:33
Cassandra: Christine Sodri escaped to communist Poland endured 13 silent years of abuse.
1:43
Cassandra: And somehow she turned her pain into purpose, serving the world as a United Nations peacekeeper.
1:51
Cassandra: So her story isn't just about survival, it is about what happens when you refuse to let your past define your future.
1:59
Cassandra: When you decide that silence is no longer an option, so if you're wondering how to reclaim your voice, rediscover your strength, and live your God-given purpose, this conversation is for you.
2:13
Cassandra: So I'm going to introduce you to Christine Sudri.
2:18
Cassandra: Well, hello, Christine.
2:20
Cassandra: Hello, Cassandra.
2:21
Cassandra: Thank you for having me on your show.
2:23
Cassandra: Yeah, it's a pleasure.
2:25
Cassandra: Girl, let me tell my listeners about the topic.
2:29
Cassandra: Our topic today is reclaiming identity.
2:33
Cassandra: Reclaiming identity.
2:35
Cassandra: And my listeners, hey, I have no better person to talk about this than Christine.
2:42
Cassandra: And you know, I'm going to tell you, Christine, I'm going to tell them a little bit more about you that will qualify you to kind of talk about how to reclaim your identity.
2:53
Cassandra: One of the things I wanted everyone to know that you're an award-winning author of 13 years lost.
3:00
Cassandra: It's a powerful memoir of resilience, redemption, and rebirth.
3:05
Cassandra: With over 31 years of service, you speak internationally about reclaiming one's identity, finding strength after trauma, and living with purpose.
3:16
Cassandra: Your story is a moving reminder that no matter what's been taken, your voice and your destiny can always be restored.
3:26
Cassandra: Wow.
3:27
Cassandra: So let me ask you this take us back to the moment you realize you lost your voice.
3:35
Cassandra: What was going on?
3:36
Cassandra: Um, what did silence feel like for you emotionally and spiritually?
3:42
SPEAKER_01: Wow, I uh was born in Poland.
3:45
SPEAKER_01: My mother died when I was five, and uh my sisters were taken by family.
3:51
SPEAKER_01: My father had left, and I was there with my grandmother hearing about America since I was five, six.
3:59
SPEAKER_01: And there was a man visiting his family there in my village, and he asked me, Do you want to come to America?
4:06
SPEAKER_01: And I heard about it.
4:07
SPEAKER_01: So I felt like it was my destiny.
4:10
SPEAKER_01: You know, also I didn't have anyone.
4:12
SPEAKER_01: Everyone in my family was gone.
4:14
SPEAKER_01: We were all separated, living behind the iron curtain in this little village.
4:19
SPEAKER_01: So when he asked me, I ran home to my grandmother, and I thought this would be so wonderful.
4:26
SPEAKER_01: I could help her.
4:27
SPEAKER_01: Uh, I would have a mother and a father, and I heard America was this great country of opportunity, it was open.
4:34
SPEAKER_01: There's so much that you you would see, you would learn, you could read.
4:38
SPEAKER_01: And so at nine years old, they put me on a plane alone and with a name tag.
4:45
SPEAKER_01: I mean, actually, on the on this picture, that's that's me at the airport the day I left.
4:51
SPEAKER_02: Uh-huh.
4:52
SPEAKER_01: And uh I thought that when I arrived in America, I would still be in touch with my family.
4:58
SPEAKER_01: It seemed all normal and fine.
5:01
SPEAKER_01: And I get to JFK Airport, the stewardess takes me out of the immigration, and there's no one waiting for me.
5:11
SPEAKER_01: And that was my first.
5:13
SPEAKER_01: Like, I remember thinking there was no one, there were people there meeting, hugging, seeing each other.
5:20
SPEAKER_01: And I thought, oh my god, what if he doesn't come?
5:23
SPEAKER_01: What is going to happen to me?
5:26
SPEAKER_01: Oh wow.
5:27
SPEAKER_01: You know, you're nine years old, you don't speak the language, you don't know a soul, you you can't even say help me.
5:33
SPEAKER_01: And I just sat there uh frightened.
5:38
SPEAKER_01: And about an hour or so later, this man showed up, and of course, I recognized him.
5:42
SPEAKER_01: And we went back to Philadelphia.
5:45
SPEAKER_01: We lived in Southwest Philadelphia, and I was so I met my mother, it was late in the evening, and uh I went to sleep.
5:54
SPEAKER_01: And of course, when I arrived, I had suitcases and gifts and and documents and everything, and you know, they had my pajamas, my room, everything was ready.
6:03
SPEAKER_01: I went to bed exhausted.
6:04
SPEAKER_01: I wake up the next morning, and everything was gone.
6:09
SPEAKER_01: Oh, clothing, every gift, every document, everything.
6:16
SPEAKER_01: And I remember like a chill went down my back.
6:18
SPEAKER_01: I'm thinking, oh my god, it was not a very good sign.
6:23
SPEAKER_01: Oh my goodness.
6:24
SPEAKER_01: And within a few weeks, you know, at first I wanted to write to my grandmother, you know, telling them I'm okay.
6:31
SPEAKER_01: So my adoptive father said, fine.
6:33
SPEAKER_01: So I knew not to say anything too emotional.
6:37
SPEAKER_01: So I just have arrived, I'm safe, I'm okay.
6:41
SPEAKER_01: He didn't seem to mind it.
6:43
SPEAKER_01: But then about a few weeks passed by, and you know, I'm a child, I miss my grandmother, I miss my sisters.
6:48
SPEAKER_01: So my second letter, I asked if I could write, and I put a little emotion, I'm thinking about it, I'm missing them.
6:57
SPEAKER_01: And he maybe a few hours later, the next day, he held up the letter.
7:01
SPEAKER_01: He said, You don't have a family, you will never see your family again, you will never write to them, you can't speak about them.
7:09
SPEAKER_01: You are ours.
7:10
SPEAKER_01: We brought you here, and you have no one except us.
7:14
Cassandra: Oh my goodness.
7:15
SPEAKER_01: And that was the beginning of losing my voice, losing everything.
7:21
SPEAKER_01: I lost in that moment, I lost my whole family, I lost my identity.
7:25
SPEAKER_01: I was now here I am, uh, you know, from a foreign country with two people I don't know, didn't speak the language.
7:34
SPEAKER_01: And and of course, my life slowly got worse.
7:39
SPEAKER_01: They, they, they, I don't know what they thought about of me or why they adopted me, but but it was a very uh abusive, it was a very difficult life.
7:50
SPEAKER_01: Um, you know, I had to learn the language, I had no friends.
7:55
SPEAKER_01: I I would sit alone wondering how did I end up in this situation, you know, and and even in school, uh, this was a Catholic school, back then I was the only foreigner.
8:08
SPEAKER_01: So they never taught me the language.
8:09
SPEAKER_01: I sat there for a full year uh uh wrapping kids' uh school books, never learned a word.
8:17
SPEAKER_01: So I thought maybe there was something wrong with me, you know.
8:23
SPEAKER_01: So it was just you know, between abuse at home and telling you you can't write, you're afraid, you have no rights, you're ours.
8:31
SPEAKER_01: We took you out of you know this horrible situation.
8:35
SPEAKER_01: So I was basically fearful and very lonely and very sad, and I had no one, and and just you know, cried for years, and to it sounds bad, but I mean I wasn't even allowed to cry because then they said we've done for you.
8:52
SPEAKER_01: How dare you, you know.
8:54
SPEAKER_01: So I had to wait till they went to sleep to even be sad.
8:59
SPEAKER_02: Oh my goodness, yeah.
9:01
Cassandra: No, yeah, it it was yeah, that's devastating.
9:05
Cassandra: Yeah, and so I definitely understand why, how you lost your voice.
9:12
Cassandra: Um, it can even um I can imagine how you felt emotionally, you know, and even spiritually, just going through that.
9:21
Cassandra: That was unbelievable.
9:23
SPEAKER_01: It was heartbreaking.
9:24
SPEAKER_01: Uh, it was the saddest, you know, you you it's like a death of your whole family, and you're in a foreign land and you have no one, you have nowhere to go to, you don't speak the language.
9:35
Cassandra: Right, right.
9:36
Cassandra: Now, you know what?
9:37
Cassandra: A lot of many of my listeners, I'm not gonna say a lot, they struggle with invisible, I'm calling them prisons, fear, doubt, even guilt.
9:48
Cassandra: So, what were some of your mental walls and how did you begin to break them down?
9:54
SPEAKER_01: Oh, I I was uh uh terrified, you know.
9:58
SPEAKER_01: I I I was afraid of these people, I wasn't allowed to show emotion.
10:02
SPEAKER_01: I had to pretend that I was so grateful to be adopted and to be out of Poland.
10:07
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
10:07
SPEAKER_01: Um, so it it was very fearful, it was very lonely, and I had no one to turn to, you know, I couldn't, no one could help me.
10:16
SPEAKER_01: I I had no family.
10:18
SPEAKER_01: And it just sort of when I ended up going to high school, I actually studied very hard.
10:24
SPEAKER_01: I figured education, once they started teaching me English, education, education, education was going to save my life.
10:33
SPEAKER_01: But once I went to high school, which was the West Catholic Girls High School, and they back then it cost some a couple hundred dollars.
10:42
SPEAKER_01: Uh so the first year they paid, but the second year they said, Well, who are you to us?
10:47
SPEAKER_01: We're not paying for your high school.
10:49
SPEAKER_01: Oh my goodness.
10:51
SPEAKER_01: And we're gonna put you in public school, but I knew that I was getting a good education.
10:57
SPEAKER_01: So, right at that moment, I'm like, okay, I have to find a job.
11:02
SPEAKER_01: Okay, and at 15, you really can't get a job.
11:05
SPEAKER_01: Okay, so I went through the Philadelphia Inquirer, and I figured I'm tall and I was thin, so I I could find something.
11:13
SPEAKER_01: So I found like a little modeling agency.
11:16
Cassandra: Okay.
11:17
SPEAKER_01: And it was just a little family private.
11:20
SPEAKER_01: There was a few models, but it was legitimate.
11:23
SPEAKER_01: There was no, you know, no messing around or anything.
11:27
SPEAKER_01: And uh, and aside from doing a little bit of runway, there was also I was also handing out American Express cards, uh, applications.
11:37
SPEAKER_01: Anyone that signed up, we would get like five or ten dollars.
11:41
SPEAKER_01: And that's how I put myself through high school the first two.
11:44
SPEAKER_02: Wow.
11:45
SPEAKER_01: So that was like once I was able to get a job to pay for my high school, that showed me that I was I could take care of my life, you know, like they wouldn't buy me anything, they wouldn't give me money for clothes, they wouldn't even let me out.
12:03
SPEAKER_01: So, you know, like a lot of times I was just I didn't have no one to go with, but I would just stay home and and just think and imagine and what you know what what can I do with my life?
12:15
SPEAKER_01: But that job allowed me to meet people, it allowed me to put myself through high school.
12:22
SPEAKER_01: And then later, I like most of the girls were getting ready for college, you know, all of them.
12:29
SPEAKER_01: And I knew that I couldn't do that because if they didn't support my high school, they would not support my college.
12:34
SPEAKER_01: And how would I do it?
12:36
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
12:36
SPEAKER_01: So back then the school had a program where you learned like a skills and admin, typing, shorthand, bookkeeping.
12:45
SPEAKER_01: You went to school half a day and you worked a half a day, and that gave me the ability to learn how to work, to be in a you know, in an environment, and to earn money and to put myself through school to buy a little makeup.
12:58
SPEAKER_01: So that was the beginning of just finding myself and knowing that I could take care of myself.
13:06
SPEAKER_01: Even at 16, I was able to do that, and I think that's so important for all women to realize that.
13:12
Cassandra: Sure, sure.
13:13
Cassandra: So it's like you carry pain um that you've buried for years, and then just by your tenacious, you were very tenacious, for you to say, you know what?
13:25
Cassandra: Number one, I'm gonna get a job because I want to continue in this Catholic school.
13:30
Cassandra: Um, so you started turning your pain into purpose without letting it define you.
13:36
Cassandra: So was there a moment that looking back, was there a sign for you that God had not forgotten you even in your most painful moments?
13:48
SPEAKER_01: Well, the Pope blessed me.
13:50
SPEAKER_01: So yeah, I mean, talk about a defining moment.
13:55
SPEAKER_01: I mean, I went through a lot more, but in the book, you know, once I ended up at the United Nations and Pope John Paul II was elected the first Polish Pope, and I ended up working there by miracle, honestly.
14:11
SPEAKER_01: And I I managed to secure a ticket at the general for the General Assembly.
14:19
SPEAKER_01: There were 2,000 people, and it was like my soul and my spirit and my body lifted, and I didn't even know what I was doing.
14:27
SPEAKER_01: And I got out of my seat, not knowing what I was doing, walking up, begging God to let me sit down because they were going to like either fire me or something.
14:36
SPEAKER_01: My feet kept going and I ended up by the Pope and my arms raised themselves.
14:42
SPEAKER_01: And I remember thinking, Oh my god, I'm so embarrassed, you know.
14:47
SPEAKER_01: And at that moment, the Pope finished a statement and he turned around and raised his hands.
14:52
SPEAKER_01: And I it was like, once I, you know, after he blessed me and I kissed his ring, I remember going home and I remember thinking, God, God noticed me, God knows me, God wanted me to know that he saw me.
15:07
Cassandra: Wow, that's that's that's amazing.
15:10
Cassandra: What a miracle! So it's like you raised your hands, you looked up, it's kind of like I surrender.
15:15
Cassandra: You saw you revered him, you saw him, and like, wow, this is the pope.
15:21
Cassandra: So that definitely was a sign for you to say, oh my god, I am meant for something, although I've been through so much.
15:28
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
15:30
SPEAKER_01: I mean, I didn't even, I didn't even know what I was doing.
15:33
SPEAKER_01: It was just something beyond beyond imagination.
15:38
SPEAKER_01: I remember people telling me, why didn't you tell us you were going to do us?
15:41
SPEAKER_01: We would take pictures of you.
15:43
SPEAKER_01: I had no idea.
15:44
SPEAKER_01: I was begging God to let me sit down because they would fire me or something, you know, or shoot me.
16:11
SPEAKER_01: And so it was it was really uh it was truly a miraculous moment in my life.
16:17
Cassandra: Yeah, so you spent you served over 31 years as a global peacekeeper.
16:25
Cassandra: How did that work bring you healing and meaning to your own story?
16:33
SPEAKER_01: Well, I started first with uh the International Conference on Women in Denmark, uh working with uh Bella Abzog and and uh you know we had an ambassador from Jamaica.
16:45
SPEAKER_01: It was a it was a whole in international conference.
16:49
SPEAKER_01: But in the end, I couldn't go because I had my daughter and I was a single parent.
16:53
SPEAKER_01: So I found another position at the UN with the population fund, and I worked there, which allowed me to go.
17:01
SPEAKER_01: I worked in the information and external relations, which I attended different conferences in an admin position in Barcelona, Mexico City, Geneva, uh, Amsterdam, but I wanted to do more, and I really I don't know how to I wanted to go to Africa.
17:20
SPEAKER_01: My friend Shirley at the UN spoke to me about Africa and how her sister lived.
17:25
SPEAKER_01: And and for some reason I had this, I just really wanted to go.
17:30
SPEAKER_01: And one day I was sitting at lunch and uh a friend was saying, you know, that she got a call from the UN personnel and they needed people as electro observers to go to Angola.
17:42
SPEAKER_01: Mr.
17:42
SPEAKER_01: Shu.
17:43
SPEAKER_01: And I was like, Yes, so I ran back to the office.
17:47
SPEAKER_01: I found his name.
17:48
SPEAKER_01: I called him up and I said, Hello, Mr.
17:50
SPEAKER_01: Shu.
17:51
SPEAKER_01: I hear you're looking for people to go to Angola.
17:54
SPEAKER_01: You know, there's a civil war and they're having elections and all this.
17:58
SPEAKER_01: I will be very interested.
17:59
SPEAKER_01: Can I meet with you tomorrow?
18:01
SPEAKER_01: And so I met with Mr.
18:03
SPEAKER_01: Shu.
18:03
SPEAKER_01: And by the time I was done, he said, Okay, you're going to Angola.
18:07
SPEAKER_01: So about once I got all my releases, I had a one-way ticket to Luanda.
18:13
Cassandra: Wow.
18:15
Cassandra: Wow.
18:15
Cassandra: That was that was uh indicator that you started using your voice because any other time you would have been silent.
18:22
Cassandra: Yeah.
18:22
Cassandra: So yeah, Christine, how explain again.
18:26
Cassandra: Okay, you were still at your adopted family's home, and you came, you got out there, you found the job, then you went to the United States.
18:39
Cassandra: How how did they know you had a job at the at the UN or no?
18:44
SPEAKER_01: What happened between okay?
18:46
SPEAKER_01: So once I graduated, okay, I was still with my adoptive parents.
18:50
SPEAKER_01: Right.
18:50
SPEAKER_01: I uh tried to contact my family in Poland because before I left at eight years old, I memorized the address.
18:57
SPEAKER_01: Oh, that one day I might need to find them because God knows what can happen.
19:06
SPEAKER_01: So at 18, I wrote a letter to my family and I put all their names, all my sisters and my grandmother.
19:14
SPEAKER_01: And it was it was taken under pretense by the postman who had a daughter with the same name and pretended to be my family.
19:24
SPEAKER_01: So that was another fraud that happened to me.
19:27
SPEAKER_01: At 18, I get this letter from this girl saying, I'm your sister, and it didn't seem right.
19:33
SPEAKER_01: There was no heart in there.
19:34
SPEAKER_01: And I'm thinking, you know, so she asked for money, so I sent some money and yeah, but then I said that this wasn't right, so I stopped that.
19:45
SPEAKER_01: Okay, and I was working in the Social Security Administration.
19:48
SPEAKER_01: This I was such a good student that the US government sent me a notice for an interview, and I got the job in the reconsideration uh determination unit of social security.
20:01
SPEAKER_01: And with that, a few years later, I received a phone call from Chicago from a man who said he was look, he was looking on behalf of my sister for me.
20:13
SPEAKER_01: Now I had a fraud done already once at 18.
20:17
SPEAKER_01: Yes, this is in 20, 23, 22.
20:20
SPEAKER_01: So I said, Your sister wants you to write to her.
20:23
SPEAKER_01: She's been looking for you.
20:24
SPEAKER_01: I said, Yeah, right.
20:26
SPEAKER_01: I said, if this is my sister, I will tell you this.
20:30
SPEAKER_01: You tell her to write to me, and it has to be in English.
20:34
SPEAKER_01: And if I think that's my sister, I will write back.
20:37
SPEAKER_01: And if I don't think it is, I won't.
20:41
SPEAKER_01: So of course, months, months later, I received this letter, dear Chris.
20:46
SPEAKER_01: I am your sister Elizabeth.
20:48
SPEAKER_01: We've had been searching for you all our lives, we have never given up on you.
20:53
SPEAKER_01: You have, you know, other two other sisters.
20:56
SPEAKER_01: This is and of course it felt right.
20:58
SPEAKER_01: And I tears flew, and my identity was completely lost because for 13 years I was this single, battered, lonely child.
21:09
SPEAKER_01: You know, and here I now am this other person who has a family and sisters.
21:14
SPEAKER_01: So it was just such an overwhelming shock to mentally.
21:21
Cassandra: Yeah.
21:21
SPEAKER_01: But you know, I tried to, even though I was in shock and I was trying to to deal with it, I did invite my sister Teresa, who came to the US first, and she stayed with me.
21:34
SPEAKER_01: And so I needed to put all my papers together.
21:37
SPEAKER_01: Because when I left these people, you know, at 19, yeah, I had documents.
21:41
SPEAKER_01: So I had to contact, I didn't even know if I was legal.
21:44
SPEAKER_01: I had to contact courthouses.
21:47
SPEAKER_01: I had, you know, there was no Google, so I had to call, trying to remember when I was naturalized, when I arrived, you know, to recreate my life.
21:56
SPEAKER_01: Once I got my passport, I needed a visa to go to Poland to see my family.
22:02
SPEAKER_01: And my sister Teresa, when she arrived, she said, Well, there's a Polish diplomat coming to the General Assembly who can help you get a visa to communist Poland.
22:14
SPEAKER_01: So when he arrived, she contacted him and he said, Well, come to the United Nations, bring all your papers, and I will help you get a visa to communist Poland.
22:25
SPEAKER_01: So I took the train, I went to New York, I went to the United Nations, and I met with him.
22:31
SPEAKER_01: And I remember thinking, Oh my God, this feels so right.
22:36
SPEAKER_01: I, you know, I'm I'm still not all American.
22:40
SPEAKER_01: I am born in another continent.
22:42
SPEAKER_01: So being with all these nationalities, being with the world felt So right.
22:47
unknown: Yeah.
22:47
SPEAKER_01: And I just happened to mention to him, I said, this must be an amazing place to work.
22:52
SPEAKER_01: And just and he said, Well, why don't you go to personnel and apply?
22:58
SPEAKER_01: I'm like, no.
22:59
SPEAKER_01: He said, No, go and apply.
23:01
SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, no, I I, you know, I didn't go to college.
23:05
SPEAKER_01: I had to go to work.
23:06
SPEAKER_01: He said, look, just go apply for like an admin position for a secretarial.
23:11
SPEAKER_01: Just try it.
23:12
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
23:13
SPEAKER_01: So after some convincing, I went, I applied.
23:17
SPEAKER_01: And of course, they did the checkups.
23:19
SPEAKER_01: I they called me in for tests and interviews.
23:22
SPEAKER_01: And I got that's how I ended up at the United Nations.
23:25
Cassandra: Wow.
23:26
Cassandra: Good for you.
23:27
Cassandra: So you left Chicago.
23:29
Cassandra: No, Philadelphia.
23:30
Cassandra: Okay, because at one time you said you went to Chicago.
23:33
SPEAKER_01: No, my my sister's friend called from Chicago looking for Oh, okay.
23:38
Cassandra: Okay.
23:39
SPEAKER_01: There's a lot of Polish community in Chicago.
23:41
Cassandra: I see that.
23:42
Cassandra: Yeah, yeah, it certainly is.
23:44
Cassandra: I used to live in Chicago.
23:45
Cassandra: You're exactly right.
23:46
Cassandra: Um so how do you stay grounded um in gratitude and faith after everything you've been doing?
23:57
Cassandra: I mean, how do you, I mean, you've been through a lot, you know, and we all have a story, but it was something about you who who was silent, didn't lost your identity, didn't know all the luggage and papers you bought with you, they disappeared, they hid those.
24:16
Cassandra: And you you're just a very, very resilient.
24:21
Cassandra: What where does that come from, you think?
24:25
SPEAKER_01: Well, I think some of it came from my grandmother, who I adored.
24:28
SPEAKER_01: She was very strong and very, she had this really, she was very quiet, but I I admired her because she just when my mother died, when the my sisters were taken away, when my father left, she just kept going.
24:42
SPEAKER_01: She never complained, she never said anything bad, she just kept going, just moving forward.
24:50
SPEAKER_01: And I think seeing that quiet strength allowed me to realize that no matter what happens, just keep going, one foot in front of the other.
25:01
SPEAKER_01: And the other important thing that you know, once I I left my adopted parents, yeah, I felt in my heart very deeply to let them go, let that go.
25:15
SPEAKER_01: I just felt so true that if I held the hate, the sadness, the anger, all these emotions, all these negative emotions in me, and wanted to get even with them or wanted something from them for all that that they did, sure, I would carry them like velcro attached to me.
25:35
SPEAKER_01: And I knew it was so important just to let that all go and move forward and just just go take the next step to the future, to to you know, to my future.
25:47
Cassandra: Now, you know what?
25:48
Cassandra: That that's easy to say, you know, a lot of people like okay, I'm gonna let that go and move on.
25:56
Cassandra: Was there steps you took?
25:58
Cassandra: Like, how did that happen?
25:59
Cassandra: I mean, you didn't did you you didn't wake up the next morning and say, okay, that's it.
26:05
Cassandra: I mean, was there a daily practice, a mindset that keeps you from slipping back?
26:10
SPEAKER_01: Oh, well, yes.
26:12
SPEAKER_01: Actually, I was doing yoga.
26:14
SPEAKER_01: I um I was doing some yoga.
26:17
SPEAKER_01: First, I was I reached out to some help books, and one of the books that I found, I I don't even know how, was uh Erroneous zones.
26:26
SPEAKER_01: And that was like how to control the thoughts in your mind, how to how to look, you know, how to pattern your life.
26:34
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
26:34
SPEAKER_01: I read that book, it was like a Bible in a way.
26:39
SPEAKER_01: And then I a friend of mine that I worked with in Social Security Administration, she was a tiny woman, but she had this amazing body.
26:48
SPEAKER_01: I mean, she was like this, just amazing.
26:51
SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, Mary, how do you look so amazing?
26:55
SPEAKER_01: Uh-huh.
26:55
SPEAKER_01: And she says, Well, I have this book.
26:57
SPEAKER_01: It's called Weight Control through Yoga.
27:00
SPEAKER_01: And so, of course, I bought it.
27:03
SPEAKER_01: And it started out with very easy exercises, you know, they're just simple, but they're like there's three days, three different, you know, steps, and they rotate.
27:13
SPEAKER_01: And I kept doing that, you know, and I think between reading and absorbing the information from that book about how to look at life, how to control your what what your mind thinks, how how important your thoughts are for your reality.
27:32
SPEAKER_01: I think that helped me a lot to sort of look for the right focus, how to how to project my life, how to see my future, how to, how to sculpt my future.
27:44
Cassandra: That was very, very important.
27:46
Cassandra: Right.
27:47
Cassandra: So what you did, well, first of all, it sounds like to me, and I notice people call you Chris instead of Christine, right?
27:53
Cassandra: Well, they call me everything.
27:56
Cassandra: Chris, Christine, right, Christine, what yeah.
28:00
Cassandra: Well, um, you know, what you know, when you said, okay, I made a decision, and to me, that was a turning point because you made a decision.
28:13
Cassandra: And once you make that decision, it's kind of like for me, I thought, I thought in a time in my life, many times in my life, I was just sick and tired of being sick and tired of all the stuff that I went through.
28:25
Cassandra: But yet, you know, and I wanted my listeners to know that you can say it, but you have to execute it, you have to do something to get you out of that.
28:36
Cassandra: You can it's easy to say, I'm I'm gonna let that go.
28:39
Cassandra: But what you did is I always say when the student's ready, the teacher will appear.
28:43
Cassandra: So all of a sudden you found this book, the zone, the zone book.
28:48
Cassandra: Erroneous zones, yeah, that changed your thinking.
28:52
SPEAKER_01: It's that allowed me that give me more ideas on how to think, how how your thoughts impact your actions.
29:00
Cassandra: Exactly, exactly.
29:01
Cassandra: So I I wanted to say that so individuals will know that what if in the event, and my listeners that have been stuck in in and trying to overcome obstacles, my hope is that when they hear guests like yourself to say, Dang, if she did it, I could do it.
29:20
Cassandra: Chris has been through so much.
29:22
Cassandra: I mean, she she got got off the plane at JFK and nobody was there, and she sat there and she waited, and then when she saw the guy, he took her home, and then the next day he took all of her things.
29:34
Cassandra: I mean, just think of that past, how the past can the past has a lot to do with your future.
29:41
Cassandra: You can either be bitter about it or you can be better about it.
29:46
Cassandra: And I don't know whether you having a daughter, you had a child, whether that was something to say, I have to.
29:54
Cassandra: Was that a um a mechanism you think that you had that?
29:59
Cassandra: Okay, I have a daughter, because a lot of people I've heard say, I'm living for my child.
30:03
Cassandra: I actually heard somebody say that, and I was like, wow, if something happened to their child, what would happen to them?
30:10
Cassandra: You know, but people live for other people.
30:14
Cassandra: Did your child having a child did that help you to move forward?
30:18
Cassandra: What do you think?
30:19
SPEAKER_01: It did help me to refocus, you know, it helped me, it helped me focus, it helped me to make sure I had a job.
30:26
SPEAKER_01: To me, okay, my daughter was very important, but if I didn't have a job, uh-huh, we would have no life.
30:33
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
30:34
SPEAKER_01: I mean, there are my daughter and I, we had some issues because she thought she wanted a mother that stayed home with you know with her and and just that's it.
30:44
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
30:44
SPEAKER_01: First of all, it's not my nature.
30:47
SPEAKER_01: I I have to, I I want to, I need to work.
30:51
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
30:51
SPEAKER_01: Not only that, I had to work.
30:53
SPEAKER_01: What would who was going to take care of us?
30:55
SPEAKER_01: So I don't think that ever came into her mind.
30:58
SPEAKER_01: But my daughter was my focus.
31:01
SPEAKER_01: I, you know, I had to let go of everything.
31:04
SPEAKER_01: She was, she was, I had to do the best I could for her.
31:07
SPEAKER_01: I also like I made sure I saved every penny before she was born, that I got an apartment, that that it looked nice, that I had the job, that I found a good babysitter.
31:17
SPEAKER_01: So everything I had to, you know, and I was alone.
31:20
SPEAKER_01: There was no one to help me, not a soul.
31:24
SPEAKER_01: Oh but even though my daughter felt that she was denied a mother, and she said I was a latchkey kid, da da da, you know, but I always had a job.
31:37
SPEAKER_01: To me, money, if you don't have money, you don't have a roof, you don't have food, right?
31:44
SPEAKER_01: You don't have the dignity for yourself as a human that you are worth, that you are working, that you are helping your family, that you are doing something.
31:53
SPEAKER_01: And that was so important to me.
31:56
SPEAKER_01: I had to, I mean, I wanted to, but I had to work.
31:59
Cassandra: I had no choice.
32:01
Cassandra: Okay.
32:01
Cassandra: So, so my listeners, now I'm not saying you have to go out and have a baby, you know, to get your focus, you know.
32:08
Cassandra: Um that's that's what Chris Chris had, you know, but but she also had to do some self-improvement.
32:17
Cassandra: She knew that in the situation she was in emotionally, physically, she couldn't stay that way.
32:25
Cassandra: She she even just said, I had to do something, you know.
32:30
Cassandra: Um, so that's all about the mindset.
32:32
Cassandra: And when you start reading that book, and when you met this lady that was doing yoga, and she talked to you about um the yoga exercise and all of that, so that was very, very helpful.
32:45
SPEAKER_01: It helped me a lot.
32:46
SPEAKER_01: It cleared my mind, yeah, it settled me.
32:49
SPEAKER_01: It just it was very, very and also it got me in a really great shape, right?
32:55
Cassandra: Okay, good, excellent, excellent.
32:58
Cassandra: So if your 13 years of silence could teach one lesson to every woman listening today, what would that lesson be?
33:09
SPEAKER_01: Be in charge of your life, make it make it your mission.
33:14
SPEAKER_01: I looked at life like this life is a bus.
33:18
SPEAKER_01: Okay, you're either a passenger on that bus or you're the bus driver of your life.
33:23
SPEAKER_01: Okay, I never want to be a passenger in my life.
33:29
SPEAKER_01: You always want to be the driver of your life because women, a lot of times, well, the man will take care of me, or that this will do that, and we allow others to we become passengers in our lives.
33:44
SPEAKER_01: We need to be drivers of our lives.
33:46
SPEAKER_01: Yes, I I met a man, we fell in love, we got married, he was wonderful, but he respected my work, he never took demands, he never, you know, I was the chief of board of inquiry.
33:59
SPEAKER_01: I ended up doing that work.
34:00
SPEAKER_01: He was an assistant secretary general, and he respected me, and we worked together.
34:07
SPEAKER_01: He never told me, Don't work or don't do this.
34:09
SPEAKER_01: He would ask me, Do you want to do this?
34:12
SPEAKER_01: Should we do you know?
34:13
SPEAKER_01: So it was always a collaboration, even though there was a huge age difference.
34:17
SPEAKER_01: We had mutual respect for each other.
34:20
SPEAKER_01: So I think that that's very important.
34:24
Cassandra: Okay, all right.
34:25
Cassandra: Um, your grandmother was she around when you started, you started working, you got it social.
34:35
SPEAKER_01: Well, my grandmother died at 70.
34:37
SPEAKER_01: She never knew what happened to me.
34:38
Cassandra: Oh, wow, okay.
34:40
SPEAKER_01: She died never knowing.
34:41
Cassandra: Okay.
34:42
SPEAKER_01: She died in 70, and I didn't get the letter till 77.
34:46
Cassandra: Okay.
34:47
Cassandra: All right.
34:48
Cassandra: Okay.
34:49
Cassandra: But yet she made an impact, and she didn't know it.
34:52
Cassandra: Yeah.
34:53
Cassandra: Yeah.
34:53
SPEAKER_01: It was her strength, her quiet strength, her dignity.
34:57
SPEAKER_01: I just, I, I just, I just, you know, had such oh my god, I missed her so much when you know when I came to this country.
35:05
SPEAKER_01: It was so much.
35:07
Cassandra: What what triggered you to write that book, The 13 Years Lost?
35:14
SPEAKER_01: That's a milestone.
35:15
SPEAKER_01: So many things happened to me, you know.
35:17
SPEAKER_01: I've been blessed by the Pope.
35:19
SPEAKER_01: I've been held up at gunpoint.
35:20
SPEAKER_01: I crossed the Congo on the barge.
35:23
SPEAKER_01: I I've been in uh Russian supply planes going over Angola.
35:27
SPEAKER_01: I I mean, so much happened, and it was always.
35:31
SPEAKER_01: And I thought, I went through so much hell and I managed a life, and I thought, I need to share it.
35:39
SPEAKER_01: Maybe there's someone, there's a woman, there's someone that could read it, and and maybe get something out of it that you can do it, that you have the strength never to give up on yourself, ever.
35:51
Cassandra: Yes, right.
35:52
Cassandra: And that book is all about that 13 years when you were lost, and that's how you got the title because of what you experienced for 13 years.
36:03
SPEAKER_01: Yes, it was the 13 years I was gone.
36:06
SPEAKER_01: Yes, from nine to 22.
36:08
SPEAKER_01: I never heard from my family, I never saw my family, I never was able to speak about my family, not even cry about them.
36:16
SPEAKER_01: Wow, wow.
36:18
Cassandra: So what does living your best life mean to you now?
36:27
SPEAKER_01: I think, you know, I I've worked hard.
36:29
SPEAKER_01: I've I've you know, I've always been focused and trying to do the best I can.
36:36
SPEAKER_01: So now, you know, my husband unfortunately has passed, so I'm I'm trying to put my life together as much as possible, but I'm close with my daughter, I'm actually I'm close with my family, I'm gonna visit my sister Ella and I'm gonna go to Poland next year.
36:53
SPEAKER_01: So just to and have good friends and have peace.
36:58
SPEAKER_03: Okay.
36:58
SPEAKER_01: When I'm when we moved to Florida, I wanted people that that that weren't drama queens.
37:05
SPEAKER_01: I wanted good people in my life, I wanted kindness and love, and just and that's what I have found.
37:13
SPEAKER_01: And and so, you know, as much as I'm you know, he was we were together for 30 years, as much as I miss him, and and and yeah, uh thank God I I'm you know, I'm enjoying life, I've written the book, I'm able to speak about it, maybe hopes help someone with it.
37:34
SPEAKER_01: So life is good.
37:37
Cassandra: Okay.
37:38
Cassandra: So for my listeners, based on what you've been through, and no matter where they're starting from, it's if the day is the day, um, that they make that decision like you did, and say, okay, I'm not gonna deal with the past, I'm gonna move forward.
37:57
Cassandra: Um, how can how can the listeners begin to do the same as you?
38:04
SPEAKER_01: First, realize the past is is the past.
38:09
SPEAKER_01: There's nothing that you can change.
38:11
SPEAKER_01: There's nothing, there's nothing, it's it's there, it happened.
38:15
SPEAKER_01: The only thing you can do from your past is learn what you don't want and try to figure out what you want in your life, how you want your future to be.
38:25
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that's the only reason to have past.
38:28
SPEAKER_01: Not to dredge it, not don't carry it with you, don't bring it to every situation, don't make decisions based on what happened to you.
38:36
SPEAKER_01: The moment is present, it's the moment now, how you see your life, what next door do you open?
38:44
SPEAKER_01: That's what's important.
38:45
SPEAKER_01: The past was long ago.
38:48
SPEAKER_01: Yes, it broke your heart, it it damaged your your self-esteem, it made you lonely.
38:55
SPEAKER_01: But now you have the moment to make choices on your own, let it go, and the sooner you can slowly let that person let that time just have at peace, put it somewhere and let it be.
39:11
SPEAKER_01: And now your future is up to you.
39:14
SPEAKER_01: You are in charge, you are the bus driver.
39:17
Cassandra: Right, right.
39:18
Cassandra: I love it when you said um, because a lot of us think about what we don't want and how bad things are, opposed to thinking about what we do want.
39:29
Cassandra: Yeah.
39:29
Cassandra: So when you focus on not what you don't want what you do want, then that shifts your mindset because energy.
39:39
Cassandra: It does, it really does.
39:41
Cassandra: Um, so that wow.
39:43
Cassandra: So what's next for you, Chris?
39:47
SPEAKER_01: Well, um I guess just talking about my book and and you know, doing book signings, book presentations, and then the next year I plan to go to Poland and spend some time with my family again.
39:59
SPEAKER_01: Well, and my daughter, I'm going next this month to be with my daughter and the grandkids.
40:04
SPEAKER_01: So just spend time with family and friends, and and you know, promote my book.
40:10
Cassandra: Sure, absolutely.
40:12
Cassandra: Um, and then you have you've been having a lot of book signings as well.
40:17
Cassandra: Yes, right?
40:18
Cassandra: That's yes.
40:19
SPEAKER_01: I was in we have a new book uh shop here in Naples, books on third, which I just did.
40:25
SPEAKER_01: I'll be in Barnes and Noble in Naples this Saturday.
40:28
SPEAKER_01: The following Saturday, I'll be in Fort Myers.
40:31
SPEAKER_01: Uh I'm just meeting with a lady who wants me to do a also book presentation.
40:36
SPEAKER_01: I'm with the circumnavigators group that I'm going to be doing a presentation.
40:40
SPEAKER_01: So there's just, yeah, I'm I'm keeping trying to be busy, you know.
40:46
SPEAKER_01: Exactly.
40:47
Cassandra: You live in your purpose.
40:48
Cassandra: Yeah.
40:48
Cassandra: And that's a great feeling.
40:51
Cassandra: Well, Chris, you are were a delight.
40:54
Cassandra: Um, I am certain that my listeners, number one, was like, wow, she's been through a lot.
41:01
Cassandra: Wow, look where she is today.
41:04
Cassandra: And if she can do it, I can do it as well.
41:07
Cassandra: So I just I just want to thank you for your time.
41:11
Cassandra: Um, I don't, I don't, I don't want to say, you know, somebody, you know, people sometimes say, if I could live my life over again, what would I do?
41:21
Cassandra: And just listening to you, I don't know if you would do anything different.
41:27
Cassandra: Because look where you are today, because what you went through helped you to be where you are.
41:33
Cassandra: You would not have written the book.
41:35
SPEAKER_01: I know, I know, but it was so painful.
41:38
SPEAKER_01: It was, you know, trying to write the chapters, especially about my mother and the family.
41:44
SPEAKER_01: I mean, it's still, it was just I don't know.
41:48
SPEAKER_01: You know, in one way I wouldn't be where I am, but the pain was it was horrible.
41:53
Cassandra: Enormous.
41:54
Cassandra: You know, yes, yeah, yeah, it was enormous.
41:57
Cassandra: Well, my listeners, I want to thank you for listening.
42:01
Cassandra: I want you to start reclaiming your identity.
42:05
Cassandra: Chris, how can my listeners get in touch with you?
42:08
Cassandra: Or either there's some that may want you to speak or talk about your story, how can they get in touch with you?
42:13
SPEAKER_01: Well, first I have a website, Christensadry.com.
42:17
SPEAKER_02: Okay.
42:17
SPEAKER_01: I'm uh on Instagram, Christine Sadry.
42:21
SPEAKER_01: I'm on Facebook, Christine Sadry, and it's open.
42:25
SPEAKER_01: And you know, if someone was interested in getting in touch with me, just either uh, you know, get on Facebook, send me a message, um, you know, or or check out the website.
42:36
SPEAKER_01: And even on LinkedIn, Christine Sadry.
42:39
Cassandra: Okay, okay.
42:41
Cassandra: Well, again, thank you.
42:43
Cassandra: And as I tell my listeners, bye for now.
42:45
Cassandra: Look at her book, 13 Years Lost.
42:48
Cassandra: And I'm a matter of fact, I'm gonna get that book.
42:51
Cassandra: I I would love to hear your story.
42:54
Cassandra: I heard it, but I like to read about it because I'm sure it's more in it than what we've talked about today.
42:59
Cassandra: Oh, there's a lot.
43:03
Cassandra: Definitely a lot, right?
43:05
Cassandra: Well, thanks again, God bless, and and I always say bye for now.
43:23
Cassandra: Oops, hey, okay, I I cut you off.
43:28
Cassandra: Well, I I I thank you so much.
43:30
Cassandra: This what an incredible story.
43:32
Cassandra: I I don't, I you know, I always say uh God doesn't put more on you than you can bear.
43:38
Cassandra: And sometimes I wonder.
43:40
SPEAKER_01: I wonder listen, believe me, I thought, God, you know, why?
43:45
SPEAKER_01: I what have I done?
43:46
SPEAKER_01: I mean, it was I feel like I lived several different lives.
43:50
SPEAKER_01: And Poland was a whole life, and Philadelphia was this whole life, and now in the United Nations is it so it's like I've lived so many lives.
44:00
SPEAKER_01: You know, I'm done.
44:02
Cassandra: We just say you're done.
44:03
Cassandra: You're done.
44:04
Cassandra: Well, um, I well, first of all, your book, this podcast is gonna come out next year.
44:10
Cassandra: Okay, uh, it's almost it's almost next year.
44:14
Cassandra: It's almost can you believe that?
44:16
Cassandra: Oh my god, yeah, and when it does, I'm gonna let you know.
44:21
Cassandra: I'm gonna send you the links.
44:22
Cassandra: I'm gonna promote it on all my websites.
44:24
Cassandra: Yes, I'm gonna have the um the MP3, which is just us talking, the MP4, which is our video, and um, I'm gonna also send you some graphics of us okay for all of your social media platforms that you can use.
44:40
Cassandra: And I just I just wish you the best.
44:43
Cassandra: I that that spotlight.
44:46
Cassandra: Live promo is about when you have an opportunity to read it, and I'm certain you'll have questions.
44:52
Cassandra: I want you to reach out to me.
44:54
Cassandra: Okay.
44:55
Cassandra: Um, it's it's just a promo.
44:58
Cassandra: When when this podcast goes live, you will have a promo in the middle of our of our podcast, okay, indicating your book, talking about your book, your life, just a little synopsis.
45:13
Cassandra: Okay, because I didn't even know what that was.
45:16
Cassandra: Yeah, yeah.
45:16
Cassandra: So you could market what you do on this podcast.
45:21
Cassandra: Okay.
45:21
Cassandra: Right.
45:22
Cassandra: And and these podcasts, they, oh my gosh, they're on every platform.
45:26
Cassandra: They come over and over.
45:27
Cassandra: I mean, it's amazing.
45:29
Cassandra: My first podcast, I saw it on on um LinkedIn today.
45:33
Cassandra: I'm like, yeah, because it keeps going over and over and over.
45:39
Cassandra: So just imagine how many people see it.
45:42
SPEAKER_01: And I hope it helps some women, I really do.
45:44
SPEAKER_01: I just, you know, especially these days.
45:47
SPEAKER_01: God, we need help.
45:48
Cassandra: I know, I know.
45:49
Cassandra: Well, I tell you, it helped me.
45:51
Cassandra: I learned a lot.
45:52
Cassandra: Um, I learned how important resilience is, not to give up.
45:57
Cassandra: And there are times I felt like giving up, you know what I mean?
46:00
Cassandra: I know, yeah, but but we're still here.
46:03
Cassandra: We are, yeah.
46:05
Cassandra: Thank you.
46:06
Cassandra: Well, thank you for having me, Cassandra.
46:08
Cassandra: Okay.
46:09
Cassandra: Oh, one other question.
46:10
Cassandra: How did we connect?
46:11
Cassandra: Because you're not on pod match.
46:13
SPEAKER_01: Um, no, I had a PR lady, uh, Sue, kiss a day.
46:18
SPEAKER_01: So I'm gonna go go on pod match, but right now I've just had so many things going on, but I I'm going to join that.
46:26
Cassandra: Oh wow, yeah, awesome.
46:28
Cassandra: Okay, because I was like, how can we connect?
46:30
Cassandra: Because I couldn't find you.
46:31
Cassandra: Yeah, I had to do some deep research for on you to say what is she all about?
46:36
Cassandra: Who is this person?
46:37
Cassandra: Yeah, who is she?
46:38
Cassandra: Oh wow.
46:39
Cassandra: Well, again, thank you.
46:41
Cassandra: Bye for now, and happy holidays to you as well.
46:46
Cassandra: Okay, bless you.
46:48
Cassandra: Bye.
46:51
Cassandra: Uh I don't know.
46:53
Cassandra: I got you.
46:57
SPEAKER_02: Okay, that's all I just ended up.