Latest / Josh and The Giant / Episode 6: The One With the Kindergarten Brawl

Transcript

Episode 6: The One With the Kindergarten Brawl · Josh and The Giant

0:00
Yeah, AIDS. Am I right Pour?
0:02
One out for the homie cause. Grandma is dead.
0:06
RIP to grandma. What's up, everybody?
0:08
Next Tuesday, July the 7th, we're celebrating Meemaw's live.
0:12
Yeah, she. Didn't have that MJ money.
0:15
Yeah. So she, you know, grave with the
0:18
honeys. Yeah.
0:19
No, she ain't cremated her. She's like, she's not going.
0:22
To be there, but we're going to bury the ashes.
0:24
No, she wanted us to throw them out.
0:26
Nah bro, because we got we got pod.
0:28
You know how she went to the casino a lot?
0:29
She wants us to throw her ashes out on the casino floor.
0:32
In the Oh, I thought she wanted you to, like, dump it into the
0:34
machine. Gum up the works.
0:39
Yeah. Jackpot type.
0:41
Thanks, Grandma. Yeah, jackpot.
0:43
More like dead grandma. I got nothing.
0:48
Jackpot. More like J Jack.
0:53
Jack, Jack off, Yeah. Do we know any jacks?
0:56
Any famous jacks? Jack Nicholson like.
0:59
Do you personally know one or? Like, no, like just famous
1:02
Jacks. Jack Harlow.
1:05
Oh. God, wow, that's where we got
1:06
that's where we got Matt Jack. I can't wait for the the camera
1:10
to be on. No Matt Cam, Matt Cam.
1:13
So OK, are we recording already? Yeah, we're recording.
1:16
We go. Did you see the pics of sexy
1:19
Jesus? Boy did I brother.
1:23
And I'm feeling good. Damn it, damn it.
1:29
And he's just like. The camera like, yeah, no, no,
1:33
he was looking at the time. He's like.
1:35
He got that crucifix fit. Crucifix crucifix CrossFit.
1:39
Somebody's already so freaking bro.
1:43
The comments on that pic were. Crazy Yeah bro women.
1:47
What a. Slam and clam, man.
1:50
Hey, come on in the. Comments.
1:52
What? We can't say that.
1:53
Yeah, we cannot say. That how can we not say slam
1:55
and. Clam slam in that clam.
1:58
We're a minute into the episode. Oh my gosh.
2:02
Dude, we're going to keep that in.
2:04
Type B, but anyway. Yeah, no, it was all Jonathan
2:12
Rumi. Yeah, you got to have a little
2:14
bits. I feel like personally, you're
2:17
playing Jesus. You got to have a little bit of
2:19
feel going into the crucifixion season.
2:24
Hey, maybe we keep the shirtless pictures.
2:27
To be fair though, he's also you told me he's 52 years old.
2:29
He's 52 years old. Bro if I look like that one of
2:31
if I ever looked like that ever nevertheless 52 years old.
2:36
How am I So what I don't get how is he not unk?
2:40
Like you're like, oh Josh, you're so unk.
2:42
That's UNK. 52 because he's son. It's so good, Pastor.
2:47
Wow. Yeah, a lot of people want God
2:51
to be unk whenever he's actually Father, Son and Spirit.
2:55
It's so good, it's so good. But you know what Jonathan is
2:59
genuinely what's that? He's a pretty good actor.
3:02
He's a solid actor. Can I?
3:03
Can I throw this out there too? What good looking guy?
3:06
Oh, very good, 52. Let's let's be straight up.
3:08
We're all guys here. We're three guys and no women
3:10
will ever watch. We're three dudes in a very
3:12
small room. And I'm already hot, close
3:14
proximity hot. Yeah, I can smell and feel the
3:17
air off both of these men. Yep.
3:19
But he's a 52 year old single man who I don't know if he's
3:23
like, I got to get married, but I know because I'm a man and I
3:27
was single at a point. And again, if I ever look like
3:30
that, there would be some modicum.
3:32
No matter how much I I was, I was true to Christ, there would
3:35
be a modicum of the hoes. Gonna love this.
3:39
And they gonna love this Mary Magdalene.
3:42
They love this. No.
3:44
No, that's what. OK, Well, she's not.
3:47
Yeah, Come on, gang. We're we made it.
3:49
We're talking about Jonathan Ho. No MO, I'm.
3:53
Over 2 already. We're like 2 minutes in, gosh.
3:55
We are cancelled. Sorry, cancel that.
3:58
No, yeah, but good looking guy. If I look like that at 52, I
4:01
might just say, hey, I'll be I'll be a hypocrite.
4:04
We'll. Be doing We'll be doing pods
4:05
where they were, the beach, for some reason, just nobody's over
4:10
there, just a curtain. No, I get it, I get it.
4:14
But it was quite the thing to wake up to.
4:17
I don't know if he planned posting it at like 6:00 in the
4:20
morning so that everyone just wakes up.
4:22
Went viral. Oh my gosh, Jonathan Roomies
4:25
nipples. It was just there on my screen.
4:28
Jesus. Literally so.
4:31
Well, not literally. Get out of here, I mean.
4:36
I was going to say you went oh for three, but you're going
4:38
like, oh for one with God right now, like I should.
4:40
I think you. Should there was somebody that's
4:42
there's like I feel like once a month someone asks me like so
4:46
like you're just cool with mocking God and I always am
4:48
like, hey dude, where did I mock God?
4:50
But that right there. Anytime.
4:54
Apologies, I do a video kind of goofing on people who speak in
4:58
tongues. Everybody's like, well, you're
5:01
mocking the spirit you. Just want to mock the spirit.
5:03
Because people can't differentiate because they
5:04
identify with that and they go, oh, that's 100% from God, even
5:09
though I never check it or look into it or look into the history
5:11
or look into it, sure. But I had this feeling, I felt
5:14
this someone must be from God. Exactly.
5:16
My pastor, my denomination, my church believes in this.
5:19
So so this so you must be mocking God.
5:21
And I'm like, no, I don't think. You just, you just boop them.
5:28
Through the phone. Can I boop you real quick just
5:32
like that? Cool.
5:33
So what was it? What's up?
5:34
I heard. Must have been the wind.
5:36
I don't know. What are these papers?
5:38
So guys, I'm excited because we're going to open some Pokémon
5:43
packs today and we're going to RIP some packs.
5:46
Yeah, and I grew up playing Pokémon on my Gameboy Color Unk,
5:52
someone said in unison. That's what it was called, OK,
5:54
It was literally. Well, I didn't know if it was
5:56
just a black Game Boy or if you were.
5:57
No, no, it was, I think mine was like yellow or purple, purple,
6:00
purple. So no Game Boy Color playing
6:04
Pokémon, red Pokémon. I mean, all the stuff, yeah,
6:07
yeah, Tars are blast always up all the way through.
6:10
And then a moment hit where I still enjoyed Pokémon, but I was
6:14
like, I can't keep doing this because I don't want people to
6:16
think that I'm like a loser. Yeah, because we grew up.
6:19
We grew up where Pokémon was cool, but we we missed the years
6:22
where like you could be cool still and actively do.
6:26
This, like if I would have showed up in middle school with
6:29
Pokémon cards or told someone hey I'm collecting Pokémon cards
6:31
I would have gotten stuffed into a locker.
6:33
In high school, I did a lot of partying.
6:36
If I went to a party and we were doing whatever, and then I
6:38
pulled out, like I flipped open my DS.
6:41
Yeah, people will be like, all right, get out.
6:43
Yeah, you can't. You're never coming back.
6:45
You're never coming. Back like imagine now.
6:47
If you probably actually would have been better.
6:49
In hindsight, yeah. But like, now you pull up
6:51
anywhere with like, like people wear it around their necks.
6:53
Like I've got APSA, you know, Charizard, whatever type you
6:57
pull up with that 15 years ago with your buddies, they're like,
7:00
what if? This is my loser bro.
7:03
Your Charizard. No one cares.
7:05
Now it's worth 50 grand. Who?
7:06
Cares you could buy their business whatever whatever
7:09
crappy little print shop in some small town they work at, you
7:12
could pull up cash. That very specific, like
7:14
whatever print shop they work at in small town.
7:16
I hate you, Dylan. Anyway.
7:19
Dylan. Dylan Anyway, no, but you know
7:22
what I mean? Like it's the same thing we were
7:24
talking about the other day, just like also the value of
7:25
Pokémon. Anyway, we are going to open
7:27
those. We're RIP some packs, we're
7:29
going to RIP some packs. We're going to some packs here
7:30
in just a minute and then we're going to end the episode ripping
7:33
some packs. So stay tuned.
7:34
We're going to RIP more packs. But before we do that, this is
7:37
something we did in the secret pilot episode.
7:39
I think Ben is a very talented voice actor.
7:43
My goal through all of this is for him to get so big.
7:47
Forget about me, because he's like a successful animated show.
7:51
My plan to. Yeah, exactly.
7:52
You're going to abandon me at some point, just like everyone
7:56
else. Piece of garbage you.
7:57
I know. Hey, hey, I guess you didn't.
8:01
Put the cigarette. Out on me?
8:02
Yeah, well, not this time. But anyways, yeah, So what I'll
8:06
do is I'll write scripts so that Ben and I can read them just so
8:09
we can practice, so we can stay sharp.
8:11
So this script is for Ben and I. We are both young trainers in
8:17
the Pokémon world. We're so excited.
8:19
We're about to start our journey to collect all the gym badges.
8:22
We're going to go challenge the Elite 4 so that that's us.
8:25
We're in the animated Pokémon series.
8:27
My name is Rowan Ben. Your name is Flint.
8:31
My name's Flint. So are we like kids?
8:32
Yeah. We're kind of like, like how old
8:34
was Ash when he left? Like 13. 13, yeah, he's like 12
8:36
or 13. Yeah, so yeah, we're, we're
8:38
kids, we're leaving. We're like, we just got like our
8:40
first Pokémon. Oh my gosh.
8:41
More. Oh my gosh, so there we.
8:43
Go. So Are you ready?
8:43
We're in character. I'm so in.
8:45
OK, and action Wow Flint, we're finally Pokémon trainers.
8:50
Pokémon make great companions and team mates for.
8:53
Battle. That's right, Rowan.
8:54
They serve many purposes. I catch some of them to be
8:57
friends, some to assist me in collecting gym badges, and some
9:00
of them I catch for food when I'm hungry.
9:03
Yeah, you what? Wait, what?
9:05
You, you eat? You eat Pokémon.
9:07
Like you eat them? Yeah, I ate some fried pitchy
9:11
wings the other day. And don't even get me started on
9:13
a good batch of pan roasted Magicarp.
9:16
I don't know, Rowan. That seems a little like, like
9:19
sadistic. I don't.
9:20
I don't. I don't know, man.
9:21
I mean dude, Pikachu has a good taste, even Mr. Mime has some
9:24
good meat. Good meat, dude.
9:26
What? You ate a Pikachu and a Mr.
9:29
Mime. Those Pokémon don't even make
9:31
sense to eat. They're like off the spectrum.
9:33
What What's what's your deal? Dude Rowan, wake up, there's a
9:36
huge shortage of lab grown meat because the government keeps
9:39
letting a legal. Can you stay in character
9:42
please? Thank you.
9:44
Rowan, wake up. There's a huge shortage of lab
9:46
grown meat because the government keeps letting illegal
9:48
immigrants from the Hohen region just walk into Canto.
9:52
Hey man, I don't care about politics, I just focus on
9:55
Pokémon. Well, maybe you should focus on
9:57
politics, buddy. Illegals are taking our food,
10:00
our jobs. We need to build a wall.
10:02
You ever notice how few white gym leaders we have these days?
10:07
Hey man, I. Don't care what color their skin
10:09
is. I just want to battle the gyms
10:10
for. Do you think the government
10:12
imposed gym DI standards are making gym leaders better or
10:15
worse? Well.
10:18
I If the Canto region wants to flourish like the good old days,
10:22
our government will wise up and start using our tax dollars for
10:25
something good like sending a couple billion to Israel and
10:28
finally building that gosh darn wall.
10:31
Whoa, Flint, I don't think we should be supporting Israel's
10:34
war. Actually, Josh, this is me, Ben
10:36
speaking now. I know we're about to RIP some
10:38
packs of Pokémon cards, but I agree with my fictional Flint
10:41
character. We should donate all the
10:43
proceeds from our cards to the state of Israel.
10:46
It's what God would want. And scene that went, I think
10:51
that went really well. You, you embody that character.
10:54
I feel like it was like you were just kind of like it was natural
10:57
for you. How do you feel that went?
11:00
I think you're a real son of A. It is the second time in a row
11:06
you've known that I care about the bit too much to read ahead.
11:12
You have audio multiple times over of me supporting the nation
11:16
state of Israel, and though that is something I agree with, I
11:21
don't like that you that you snuck that on me.
11:25
So whatever, dude. See, we talked about how you're
11:28
going to abandon me. Yeah, so I.
11:30
Got to get a little blackmail on you so that Hey Ben, Remember
11:34
Me? It's.
11:34
Called colored male. Wait OK, sure it's it's non
11:38
conforming non gendered male. Type Type.
11:40
One day when you're big and famous in LA, you're going to be
11:43
walking on the street and you're going to see me in a little
11:45
cardboard box with a little, you know, coffee cup.
11:48
Spirit change. My voice is going to change.
11:50
Spirit change. And you're going to see me.
11:52
You're going to oh, Josh, I remember you.
11:54
And then it's going to I have so much data of been supporting is.
12:00
So are you in this cardboard box with all this data?
12:02
Yeah, I'm going to keep like the how.
12:04
Rich and famous am I. I mean, I'm thinking millionaire
12:06
by this point. So like we know about a lot.
12:09
Go ahead. Not in.
12:10
The cloud, he can keep it anywhere.
12:12
That's true. It's true.
12:12
But if we're being blunt and I'm, you know, really deep ties
12:15
with Israel, we're in California, right?
12:20
That is, in this hypothetical, we are in California.
12:23
Today was a good date, do you think?
12:25
Weed is. Do you think weed is legal in
12:27
the Pokémon world bro? It's going to be me.
12:29
So you're like, oh, I still have all that black, man.
12:31
I watch. I really wish I would like a
12:34
cartoon and I put that in my mouth on it.
12:37
But here's what I'm going to do straight up.
12:39
I'll just have you taken out. Oh hey, thanks so much for
12:45
listening to the pod. We really appreciate it.
12:47
Hope you guys are enjoying it. And if you are, consider going
12:50
to joshandthegiant.com, checking out our merch and potentially
12:53
becoming a member today. You can do so for as little as a
12:56
dollar a month. And now back to the podcast
13:00
'cause I have. Millions of dollars and you have
13:02
nothing. And I've directized the Israel
13:03
security policy, insurance policy.
13:05
I have the data it it is also in the hands of five of trusted
13:11
individuals who will leak it everywhere if you Take Me Out.
13:14
What? 5 trusted individuals do you
13:15
have as a homeless man on the streets of LA?
13:17
Don't question. I think a lot of that will just
13:19
be ramblings in your mind. Have you ever seen?
13:22
My my imaginary friends have you.
13:24
Do you? Remember the part of American
13:25
cycle whenever he stomps out the homeless man with the dog?
13:28
It's going to be you and I'm going to be Patrick Bateman with
13:32
my Israel money. You said it, not me.
13:35
So there we go. Well, that.
13:37
Was a fun trip anyways now. We're going to actually open
13:39
now. We're actually going to do.
13:40
Do you still want that? Sorry for putting my mouth on
13:42
it. It'll.
13:49
It'll make the packs like it used to.
13:51
Josh having some performance issues.
13:53
There it is. Wow.
13:54
It opens from the top like a box, the one that I'm going to
13:58
live in. Yeah, tight.
14:00
So I do a little, I do a little cheat.
14:03
If I'm being honest with you, a lot of people know how to like
14:05
hold the pack just right and fold it and pop it open.
14:08
Sure, I do this. You go like this, make sure the
14:13
cards are at the bottom. It's a big at you.
14:15
And I do a little. I do a little.
14:17
Snap. Oh, so you don't like to tear it
14:20
with your hands? Yeah, I don't do it like a man,
14:24
I do it like it's OK Stadium. So yeah, here we go.
14:30
So we'll go ahead and I'm going to tell Josh, because Josh
14:34
doesn't remember the last time he opened a pack.
14:35
I don't know if Matt knows exactly what to do whenever we
14:38
open a pack. But for anybody who has opened
14:40
packs before, you know, there's a very thematic thing you're
14:42
supposed to do, especially whenever you're opening packs
14:44
for the Internet. So here's what we're going to
14:46
do. So you open the pack, discard
14:53
the thing. Open the pack you're.
14:55
Going to take this right? Yeah, flick that out of here.
14:58
The back card will be an energy card.
15:01
OK, put that to the front. OK, All right, here we go.
15:05
And we're just going to. You can go 1st and I'm going to
15:07
watch. OK, here we go.
15:08
So we just go boom. And the reason why?
15:12
Do that type. With the energy card is because
15:15
it ensures with these more modern packs that the very last
15:18
card will be quote UN quote the best.
15:22
Card OK, OK, so manky. Oh, OK, so it's.
15:28
Just a it's just a like a hollow.
15:29
What card is it that's AI can't pronounce that?
15:33
That is a. That is a hollow Kafar grigus.
15:39
Kafar Grigus Oh Kofar. Grigus.
15:41
Yeah, I remember that from the from the cartoon.
15:44
Of course who? Who could hit you?
15:45
Charmander, Kafar, Kafarnikus? Use your.
15:50
Yeah, Farty. Brain how do you say Yeah,
15:54
critical looks like it looks like an ancient Egyptian tomb.
15:57
OK, he uses and I can actually read this right here Kafar Kafar
16:02
Gris use your Jewish slaves move.
16:06
Put 6 damage counters on each Pokémon that has an ability.
16:08
That's actually really good. OK.
16:10
So probably $50,000 card right there.
16:13
Oh my gosh, dude. OK, cool.
16:15
Welcome to paying off the rest of the episode.
16:17
So yeah, well, let's just go one at a time.
16:18
OK back got my. Energy I really can't see.
16:22
These so like, that's all right, I'll let you know.
16:24
That's something. That's a scarf.
16:27
No sneezing, bro. Makes for bad podcasting.
16:31
Bro, are you allergic to cash, bro?
16:32
Because that's where we're going to be swimming in.
16:34
Swimming in the money whenever you pull, Yeah.
16:36
Caparticus. I don't know what any of these
16:38
are, but it's not. A good sign, no, But that maybe
16:41
that's. OK, but maybe.
16:44
OK, we got one more. OK, that's a hollow Toga Pi.
16:48
Think that's a Blaziken. Is that your final card?
16:50
That's a hollow. Blaziken, Oh, it's Oh, there's
16:51
one more. Toe tickler.
16:53
What's that saying? I don't know.
16:55
Go ahead and read it. Toga kiss.
16:57
Toga kiss. OK.
16:59
Wait, you said I had a togepi in here too?
17:01
I think so, right? Does it?
17:02
Surely. Oh no, what was that one?
17:05
So so I got. A couple of I also just want to
17:08
remind everybody we don't know anything about.
17:09
Togepi, he's in an egg, which was one of my daughter's first
17:13
words that she learned. Egg.
17:15
Oh. I thought it was Togepi.
17:18
No Togepi, Togepi. Like that's all right.
17:22
So $50,000 right there, but. Also, I also so badly already
17:25
want to open the other packs, but we're going to wait till the
17:27
end of the episode. We'll be the boys.
17:28
Here we go. I'm too old for this.
17:33
That's all right. Aren't we all type really
17:37
genuinely appreciate Matt leaving it on camera.
17:41
Oh my gosh, it's actually additionally.
17:44
Oh, Latinos. Oh no, it's just.
17:47
Latinos. Whoa, wait.
17:47
Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on.
17:49
Don't just jump to the end. Yeah, keep going.
17:51
But I oh, no, that's OK. Something OK, go on.
17:54
I remember that one, yeah. Because just everybody knows
17:57
Josh looked up like the most valuable cards from this set.
17:59
And it was like Latino. It was like a Pikachu in a
18:01
Latios. All right, what's the final
18:04
card? Here we go.
18:05
Two more 01 up. I don't know.
18:09
What that is gouging? Fire.
18:11
Let's see. What is that?
18:12
Oh, that's cool. Sick.
18:15
Oh, oh, oh. So that one's definitely the
18:18
most valuable one that we've. Got to be right.
18:20
No doubt. I don't even know what it is,
18:22
but mess mess brick. Also I know for sure all the
18:26
Pokémon heads are going to be like you guys.
18:27
You're bending them. Don't hold them by the edges
18:30
guys they're cards. We understand some of them have
18:32
value. This piece of.
18:33
Cardboard is worth more than than this piece of cardboard.
18:35
Yeah. All right, I'm.
18:36
Going to get Latinos tattooed if we.
18:39
Get I think my my future is for this room is we just get the
18:44
absolute worst cards graded for no reason.
18:47
But like we have to get them 10s.
18:49
Yeah, like PSA 10s are just the worst.
18:51
Yeah bro, you want my PSA 10 Weedle $50,000?
18:54
Real spell. I don't know yeah that's cool,
18:57
man. You know what's cool about
18:58
Pokémon? They're just so Dang cute and
19:00
they're fun and the art is genuinely good.
19:03
I'm going to look, I'm going to look that card up.
19:05
We can edit this bit out, but. Miss, it's the mesprit.
19:10
If you want to type it in yeah so the way you well you know the
19:13
way you look it up two O 4 out of 191 Mesprit 2O4191 Hey big
19:19
dog that is A at least like a 12/13 dollar card.
19:23
Until we get it graded. And then I can look that up.
19:27
Let's see that's. Pretty tight.
19:29
If we got if we got APSA 10 Mesprit, that's like a wow, OK,
19:34
that's like $170 card at least chuching, chuching my kids.
19:40
Oh my gosh. That's great.
19:41
Thanks, Best, Brett, Matt. Getting none of that money,
19:44
that's going right back to us, right back to Israel anyway.
19:47
Yeah, before Matt had to make it about his hungry kids.
19:52
Gosh. Anyway, big dog.
19:53
Speaking of big dogs, you got to be the dog problem.
19:57
So is you guys probably notice I'm not really on my game this
20:00
week. Yeah, you guys are probably like
20:02
this guy. This guy sucks more than usual.
20:05
Look at. Him not the Well, you threw me
20:07
some energy think. Tight but dark energy.
20:10
No, it's not lost to me that when people watch this, I'm
20:14
like, it's. You're a, you're a pokey hoe.
20:17
I'm like. At the strip club, I'm just
20:19
stripping and I don't want dollar bills.
20:21
I just want poke Pokémon. It's a dollar, Yeah.
20:23
Alright, go ahead, go ahead. There's a mess Brit.
20:26
It's not lost on me that the people that watch this probably
20:30
have a more favourable view of of Ben than me.
20:34
So I want to just apologize to everyone that hates me, which is
20:39
all of you, I'm assuming because it's been a tough couple of
20:42
weeks because we got a new neighbor and they live directly
20:47
behind us. And for whatever reason, snipers
20:50
got a big old dog. Yeah.
20:52
Like when you think of a dog named like Bone Crusher, killer
20:56
like murderer. Like the dog from Sandlot.
20:59
Yeah, but even more muscular, like the dog from Sandlot was
21:01
kind of like. The dog from Sandlot.
21:03
If the dog was actually what they thought it was.
21:05
If it was just a pit bull, yeah, OK.
21:07
Or there you go if it. Was Jonathan Rumi.
21:10
Yeah, the dog from Sandlot. If it was Jonathan Rumi, full
21:14
name Jonathan roommate. So they move in dogs out there
21:22
the day they move in and we're like, oh cool, it's like 2:00 in
21:24
the afternoon. Oh cool.
21:25
The dogs will kind of face off and bark at each other time.
21:28
Well, 11:00 rolls around. This is one hour before
21:33
midnight, 11:00 and they let the dog outside.
21:37
Just let everybody know. Just so you know, it's not the
21:39
good 11:00, It's the one where nothing good happens.
21:41
Yeah. And the dog just.
21:42
Row row row row row. You get the picture.
21:47
I do. So.
21:48
My wife and I so the dog. I got to row row row row that.
21:54
Was a lot. That was a lot better.
21:56
Yeah, you got it out. It's like DMX but a dog.
22:00
Yeah, like if DMX. You ever noticed dogs do copy
22:04
DMXA lot? It's man talk about the black
22:08
community getting things stolen away from them again.
22:11
Go back to Motown in the 50s. Seriously, don't get me started.
22:14
Like Elvis Presley, just steal it.
22:15
Yeah. Can I do this?
22:17
Yeah. OK, So he, he barks a lot.
22:19
And it's 11:00. So I'm like, hey, I'm a sleepy
22:22
boy. One thing you guys don't know
22:24
about me, when I don't get my beauty sleep, I turn into a
22:27
little bit of a cranky pants. Yeah, right.
22:32
Midnight rolls around, Still going. 1:00 AM, Two AM, 3:00 AM.
22:37
It's 3:00 AM And this is just about every night except for
22:45
weekends for the last couple of weeks.
22:47
Yeah, I've been crashing out. I've been hallucinating.
22:51
I've been barking back at the dog, yes.
22:55
Because real quick, I think people also don't understand
22:57
because even I, whenever you first told me, I was like, yeah,
22:59
there's a dog barking outside. You can't just sleep.
23:01
Josh and Sydney have two dogs that are very reactive.
23:04
But we keep them inside. Yeah, they they stay inside, but
23:07
even still you were telling me like they will still react.
23:10
To the dog barking. And then all of a sudden, their
23:12
dogs are barking. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
23:14
So I'm barking at the dog. I'm yelling.
23:17
I I went over at midnight one night to the the individual's
23:21
house to be like. Hey.
23:24
Got kids. Can you put your dog inside
23:26
forever, please? Right.
23:28
Wasn't home at midnight, so they probably work night shift.
23:30
Whatever. Respectable.
23:32
I get it. Yeah, dude.
23:34
So after a couple of weeks, I called the cops.
23:39
I did. What a can?
23:41
I did hand of the year. I looked in the mirror and I
23:45
realized I'm a tax paying citizen type.
23:48
I it's it my kids aren't in school yet.
23:49
It's about time I leaned on my tax dollars, the ones that
23:52
aren't going to Israel. so-called the cops and actually,
23:58
and they came out and you know what?
24:00
They did absolutely nothing. They were like, yeah, dude, that
24:04
dog sure is barking. And then they're like, no one's
24:06
home, So what are you going to do?
24:09
Because to be fair, I mean, what are they can't take it in?
24:12
No, they can't just take the dog.
24:14
They're not animal control, no. Now in my mind I would go call
24:18
animal control. But this is it, the dogs not
24:19
outside during the day. So Animal Control is gonna pull
24:22
up and be like. What a well kept little pup is
24:24
animal control just during the day operation?
24:26
I think I mean animal control doesn't work.
24:28
Nights do that. That's crazy.
24:29
They should. Animals go to whatever.
24:31
But they don't apparently because like this situation.
24:35
So yeah, this dog don't. Hey, yeah, your sleep schedule's
24:38
kind of like how late do you stay up?
24:40
I stay up pretty late and then I get up decently early, but I've
24:43
kind of, for the most part, I'm pretty fine with it.
24:45
Yeah. Like I've kind of just, and I
24:47
think just because my dad always woke up early and I always
24:50
stayed up playing video games. Yeah.
24:53
Even whenever like our son stays somewhere else, like somewhere
24:55
else stays at my parents. Even we just kick our son out or
24:59
whenever we're like figure it out.
25:01
Go down the road, there's a house down there, Josh said.
25:03
There's a house where a dog's barking.
25:04
Yeah, but no, like we'll still, I'll still wake up pretty early
25:08
even after staying up late. Do you remember when you were a
25:10
kid? And, OK, you stay up late,
25:13
you're playing video games. Yeah, maybe you're like,
25:15
whatever. It's not a school night.
25:18
You got school off, but your dad still got work.
25:20
So you're playing video games. And it's, like, 4:00 AM Yeah.
25:23
And you're up to witness your dad getting up for work 100%.
25:26
And it's just like, you know, he's got like maybe some
25:29
underwear on, kind of like scratches.
25:37
You know, and then he's kind of just like pissing and then he
25:40
like stops by your room and sees your.
25:42
House at the same time, or we're like in the bathroom at least.
25:45
Well, no like you typically. Anybody who doesn't know Josh
25:48
grew up in East Texas, which is essentially in the 19th century.
25:53
Josh grew up in a one room home. Log cabin.
25:57
Yeah, a shack, they called it. No, but yeah, for sure.
26:00
Like, it was always funny. And it was also funny because
26:02
the best part for me was not so much my dad's, like, grumblings
26:06
and noises, but the look of, of disappointment because whenever
26:09
he was my age, I mean, even then, he was like, I was
26:12
probably working. Yeah.
26:14
I couldn't just stay up all night playing Black Ops with my
26:16
friends. So like, even whenever he's
26:18
doing this. Oh, sorry, nerd sucks.
26:20
Yeah. Oh, sorry.
26:21
You grew up in the 80s, Loser Garbage.
26:25
And what's funny is my dad watches all of our episodes, so.
26:28
What do you think? For the people watching this
26:31
that grew up in like the 70s and 80s, what did you do for like,
26:33
fun? You just had to like go places
26:36
all the time. And my dad showed up, my dad
26:38
developed addictions and then he worked and then they also had
26:41
children early. So a lot of for a lot of people
26:44
life before TV and like the Internet was really popping was
26:48
a lot like sub-Saharan Africa now where they just they don't
26:51
have a lot going on. So they just.
26:53
Procreate. Bang it out, yeah.
26:55
Fair enough. I mean, I get it.
26:58
Like it's like I gotta do something like.
27:00
You gotta do something because that's the other thing you think
27:01
about, like a single person in the 1800s, They're just at home.
27:05
No wonder so many people, I mean, Van Gogh cut his ear off,
27:08
right? Yeah.
27:08
Because he's just like God. I would do women.
27:13
Am I right? There's.
27:14
Hype yeah, for sure, for sure. Hey, if I know Broads, you know
27:19
what I mean. Hey, hey, she van to like go,
27:22
you know what I mean? But but yeah, bro, so that
27:28
sucks. I wish I I genuinely, I'm so
27:31
tempted to play you guys. The voice notes that Josh sent
27:33
me the other. Night no it that was mid crash
27:36
outs. I think you.
27:38
I was crying. In my you like voice memoed me
27:41
and you're like I I think initially like trying to like
27:43
talk about the pond we were. Talking about whatever and Josh
27:45
sends me a voice note back where in the middle he diverts into
27:49
just straight this boop dog and just try to do it and I am it is
27:55
like late at night. I'm sitting in my living room
27:57
and I I am Dang near pissing myself laughing.
28:00
It was the IT was the best thing you.
28:01
Probably heard the dog barking in the back.
28:03
Because at one point Joshua was here.
28:05
I'll go outside so you can hear this dog.
28:08
I used up all my money for the pod into the swear jar.
28:12
I was so angry. 100% my kids were waking up.
28:16
It's like midnight. I'm like of course you're up
28:18
because the dogs bark. Just echoes.
28:20
Man, dude, yeah, that's the part that would upset me the most.
28:23
As soon as, like, Benji would wake up, I'd be like, oh,
28:27
something is happening now. Yeah.
28:29
Like, we got it. Yeah, Yeah.
28:30
Now that that sucks. And that was the idea behind
28:32
going to their house. But it's like, oh, of course
28:34
you're not home at midnight like a.
28:35
Well, there's also the thing in the back of your mind where it's
28:37
like, what kind of person am I about to deal with?
28:40
If they're even home. That's also true.
28:41
I was kind of like, am I about to meet my demise?
28:43
Gosh, I have to like fight a guy whenever I'm already.
28:46
And you do become a. Cranky pants.
28:48
It's so funny the amount of times we've been like, because
28:51
you know, we're real tough guys, so we'll play like Settlers of
28:53
Catan and I'll look over in Josh's literally.
28:57
So I just imagine that Josh going over to somebody's house,
28:59
like, hey bro, get your dog up. And then if somebody was even
29:03
just like, no, it's like, all right, well, I'm going to go
29:07
call the cops. If you can imagine what he'll be
29:09
over here. The most intimidating figure.
29:11
You're scared. I don't know.
29:13
I'm scary in settlers. Yeah, you're.
29:15
I know I look sleepy, but I'll win.
29:16
Don't. Even get me started, we don't
29:18
have enough time to talk about settlers.
29:19
But Speaking of dogs, what's like if you described a dog to
29:24
somebody who's never seen a dog the back?
29:28
Dude that was crazy. Thank you bro, I know that was a
29:30
good transition. I mean, pretty quick, because
29:32
especially at this point, I mean, back rooms I don't even
29:34
think will be in theaters anymore.
29:35
But golly, good film. Good film, dude.
29:38
Film. I loved it.
29:39
Yeah, I loved it. I think I, I think horror is in
29:43
such a Dang good place. People who have heard me talk
29:47
about it are probably tired of me talking about it.
29:49
But goodness gracious, I love horror movies.
29:51
And we're we're eating good. Me and the wife are going to go
29:53
see Obsession tomorrow. Just saw Hokum recently.
29:57
There's such good horror series. There's such good horror movies.
30:01
I'm just, yeah, I'm like a pig in the pig style.
30:05
Yeah. Real quick, styes.
30:09
This is completely off topic. Like styes in your eye?
30:11
Yep. You ever get one of those?
30:13
Yes, I. Got one of those in college
30:15
really bad and it wouldn't go away.
30:17
And I was in college so I didn't want to go to the doctor.
30:20
And I had a dude in one of my classes, he's a Latino fellow.
30:23
He just goes hey, bro. Because I thought it was like
30:27
something cultural, like, hey, maybe this is like, oh, OK, OK.
30:29
He's like, hey bro, just put a little drop of piss in it.
30:32
I was like, what he's like, take a piece like a little bit of
30:35
your piss and put it on your sty.
30:37
Piece of piss. Just a little tiny bit of piss.
30:39
Yeah, a bit of piss. And I was like you're crazy.
30:43
Couple days went by, I was still there and I will admit I did put
30:48
a drop of piss in my sty and guess was it what wasn't there
30:51
the next morning. The Sty.
30:53
Bye bye, I'm not a doctor. Hold up.
30:56
But did it like Burn? No.
30:58
OK, I've got good piss. All right, stop.
31:01
I mean, good strain. OK, that has nothing to do with
31:04
chicken. Yeah, but yeah.
31:07
Oh my gosh. I mean, I'm saying I'm not a
31:09
doctor. This.
31:10
This isn't a HIPAA violation, but if you get a bad sty.
31:14
Bro, how many things? Like how many things did God God
31:17
knew? Like all the uses of our pee.
31:22
You know what I mean? Because I've also heard people
31:23
talk about that with a ear infection.
31:24
Like all those, all the uses of our body in general.
31:26
Like the fact that like, poop is good fertilizer for soil.
31:30
Bro humans like survived and we survived before modern medicine.
31:34
We survived before I mean a lot of stuff in modern medicine.
31:37
Lord knows even within like, relatively modern history,
31:40
people were doing wild things and yet somehow still just
31:43
persevered. Yeah.
31:45
So it's like, yeah, it's a great thing that we have a lot of the
31:47
medication. And I'm not about to, like, go
31:49
off into a Tain to the, like Christian Scientists and be
31:51
like, doctors are from the devil, you know what I mean?
31:53
But you can't like there is something in when we talk.
31:57
About we can do a. Different little conversation.
31:59
How many people are getting prescribed Doctor Strange
32:02
doctors? He's from the.
32:03
Devil. That is true dude, but to be
32:08
fair, how much more Christ like a thing can you get than at the
32:12
end of Doctor Strange whenever he just straight up humiliates
32:15
essentially the devil? Your Mama.
32:17
This big flaming head thing. And he's like, I'll just keep
32:19
making you repeat till you're pissed off.
32:22
Yeah. How much?
32:23
How much? You know what I mean?
32:24
You know what I mean? Cue the Philip Anthony Mitchell
32:26
edit. You are the Doctor Strange of
32:29
the story. You go to the devil, you go to
32:33
Dormammu, this omnipotent, omnipresent being, and you go I
32:38
will spit and step on your foot in your own realm, the king of
32:43
this world. I'm a son of the king.
32:46
You know what, Philip? Anthony Mitchell.
32:47
Yeah, bit came to my mind. It's not a bit.
32:49
It's a it's bit. We love your skits, man.
32:53
When you're on the stage. The the one that came to my mind
32:55
when you said his name right there was when he he's like,
32:57
ain't nobody's pipe game worth going to hell.
33:00
Over So good. So good.
33:02
He's got that, like that Brooklyn accent.
33:03
Yeah, yeah. Over, over.
33:06
Yeah. Ain't nobody's pipe.
33:08
Yeah. So going all the way back,
33:10
what'd you think of the back rooms so.
33:13
I'm not a scary movie guy. No, I'm a little baby.
33:18
So I went in my wife. Is it 'cause you're scared of
33:20
them or you just don't like them?
33:22
I just don't like it. Like they just kind of like
33:24
marinate with me and then I'm like, oh, I'm thinking about
33:26
this too much. I'm gonna need to like.
33:27
Stuff, you know, I kind of just need like stuff in my life and
33:30
that's fair. It's like, I feel like the news
33:32
is like whatever you just read. Bad story, bad story.
33:35
It's like when I watch. Some you need positivity, I need
33:37
something happy. Was that the freaking Oh, that
33:39
was the thing. Why would I throw the good one?
33:41
I thought you did. You were just throwing thousands
33:43
at but not to smooch them. I'm.
33:45
Sorry, love it, love it. So yeah, I'm not a big scary
33:52
movie guy. Yeah, but I went because my wife
33:53
is she she likes scary movies. And we had a date night and I
33:56
was like, I'm not gonna say no to a date night, right?
33:58
So we go. They hit the Pentagon again.
34:02
Sorry. Go ahead.
34:06
Why do they make it? It could have been a hexagon.
34:08
Like it's so why the the why an asymmetrical shape?
34:14
A Pentagon? It's like making it a trapezoid.
34:16
They worship the devil. What do they call it?
34:18
A trapezoid? Oh.
34:20
It's Satanic. It's Satanic.
34:21
It's Satanic. Yeah.
34:22
Freaking government. Obama.
34:24
Yeah. Obama with the Pentagon.
34:25
Obama and 9/11. Bullish family.
34:27
Go ahead. Yeah.
34:29
God, you ever seen that South Park episode?
34:32
No. Oh, OK, That's fine.
34:34
No. I've seen the Mormon one.
34:35
That's it in the one. I've seen a couple.
34:38
I've seen a couple. There's a whole South Park
34:40
episode where it like, it's revealed that Obama's whole
34:42
presidential run, him and, oh, Michelle and a couple other
34:46
people are actually like thieves.
34:48
So they're trying to do a big heist.
34:50
And then at the end of the episode, he's like, you know
34:52
what, Michelle, what if we actually give this presidential
34:55
thing a try and she's like, oh, Barack.
35:00
And then he just remains president.
35:02
Go ahead. That was.
35:04
Oh, Michelle. See, that's actually good.
35:08
Let me tell you something, Player.
35:11
Who? Who was that?
35:12
Michelle Obama. Always, always sunny, but he's
35:20
like, somebody's got to tell Dutch who's running these
35:23
errands for the. Day.
35:24
Oh my gosh, that's a good one. So good dude So.
35:27
Back rooms. I went in and I'm like, oh boy,
35:30
I'm going to be a little baby or whatever.
35:32
But I liked it because I went in kind of maybe not knowing what
35:39
it was. Yeah, I, I knew a little bit
35:41
about like the lore, I guess the backrooms or whatever, and like
35:44
the pictures and stuff. But it truly like you're kind of
35:47
just anxious the entire movie. They did a good job with like
35:50
the, the music behind it and like taking their time with like
35:53
getting to anything whatever. So I, I in the movie, I'm like,
35:57
wow, I feel like I've literally just been hanging onto an
35:59
electric fence for the last hour.
36:02
But it was like, in a way of entertainment, I guess.
36:06
Yeah. So I, I liked it.
36:07
I respected the respected the art.
36:09
Yeah. It wasn't like a like a cheap
36:11
thrill movie. No, it was something free.
36:13
And there was like a really good story there.
36:15
Yeah. Like, what is it like?
36:16
It's not accepting who you are isn't always a beneficial thing
36:22
or a positive thing. And sometimes we see that in,
36:24
like, bad people because, I mean, the main character, the
36:26
backroom, he's a bad guy. Yeah.
36:28
And you come to realize that. And sometimes those people like
36:32
them coming to peace with themselves can often be their
36:35
destruction. Yeah.
36:36
So it's like sometimes coming to peace with yourself isn't always
36:39
the best thing for you to do. Yeah.
36:40
Sometimes it's like, hey, you might be a bad person you need
36:43
to fix. This sometimes the worst parts
36:45
of you. Kill you.
36:46
Yeah. Which also I don't think there
36:48
was any point in the movie where I was like looking at the main
36:50
character, like wow, this guy's a stand up fella.
36:52
No. No, but I mean, I saw it.
36:54
Yeah, but they definitely were leaning into and and and
36:56
intentionally. Again, at no point is the movie
36:58
trying, like you said, trying to paint him as a good guy.
37:00
But there is that classic thing of like my my wife, my ex-wife,
37:04
the old Dunnellon Jane pretty quick.
37:06
You're like, oh, you were just yeah, this is a solid guy.
37:08
Yeah, yeah. But anyway, yeah, Backrooms.
37:10
Backrooms, I'll give it. Like if we combined all the Gods
37:15
Not Dead movies, They're Rotten Tomatoes.
37:16
Can we not? That'd be that'd be back rooms
37:19
for me. If you combine all the gods not
37:21
dead. Movies Rotten Tomatoes like to
37:22
7075% Rotten Tomatoes. Oh man.
37:25
Oh, I would say I'd give it like a 90.
37:28
Even a 90. There wouldn't be really much.
37:30
The only thing that I would change, and I think I told you
37:32
and said this, whenever we first get in the back rooms, they're
37:35
really like steeped in it and they're really like, whoa, this
37:39
is weird. There's a few minutes of him
37:41
just walking around where it's like, I get it, it's a
37:45
mysterious place. Whoa.
37:47
There's no all the stop sign is backwards and stuff.
37:50
Which again, really well done, sure, but there's a couple
37:53
minutes I think to be cut. If they don't come out with a
37:56
sequel, they have to go to throw a fit.
37:58
They have to, and we have to have a sequel, I think, with
38:01
more of Mark. Hey, Matt, more of Mark
38:05
Duplass's character. And I don't think we'll get any
38:08
more of anybody else from it. I mean, we definitely won't get
38:10
Chew with all the Geo four. Yeah, because he's dead.
38:12
Then he's dead. I would like to see like
38:15
something else, like a little bit more with his because he's
38:17
like alternate. He's like, yeah, yeah, creature
38:20
that's still alive. Is it still alive?
38:22
Well, do you think it's alive or dead?
38:23
Because we see it wrapped up kind of in that room, which is
38:27
crazy, by the way, which they bring the monster into the real
38:31
world. Yeah.
38:32
Which maybe that means he's dead.
38:34
It's definitely dead. Also, I'm going to say this, the
38:36
monsters, you, you're out. The movie, you're like, oh,
38:39
these things are scary. Yeah, I come face to face with
38:42
one of those, bro. She not worried about it.
38:44
She takes that Dang like hat rack, busts its leg out.
38:48
As soon as she does that, I'm like, oh, I could put hands.
38:51
On and you can eat them. Oh, so there's.
38:53
Also that I feel like you couldn't eat Captain Clark
38:57
though really well because Captain Clark bleeds.
39:00
Did you notice that whenever she starts bashing his head in, he
39:03
starts bleeding? So he's not like the kind of
39:06
like messed up versions of people that have like the
39:08
multiple faces and stuff. He's like his whole own kind of
39:12
being almost to a degree, interesting.
39:14
I think that's kind of what I took.
39:15
From it yeah, but Kevin just Mickey Mickey Mouse villain
39:18
Mickey Mouse series it. Bleeds.
39:19
I mean, it's a classic. It's Arnold and Predator.
39:21
If it bleeds, we can kill. It moves so slow.
39:24
It's like, okay, I really feel like, I mean, look, unless I let
39:27
him grab me, obviously he's mad strong, sure, unless I let him
39:29
like grab me and pick me up and bite into my shoulder like
39:31
freaking Clark did like an idiot.
39:33
Like it just be like, it's so bro, as soon as it picks you up,
39:36
I'd be like, Jesus Christ, Oh God, have mercy on me, bro.
39:39
I'm dying soon, yes, but yeah, I'm putting hands on it, I
39:43
think. What's up guys?
39:44
We're going to get right back to the podcast, but wanted to stop
39:46
and say thank you. Thank you so much for watching
39:48
or listening to Josh and the Giant.
39:50
Wherever you do, If you haven't, take some time to go to
39:53
joshandthegiant.com and support us.
39:55
Consider becoming a member. Check out our merch.
39:57
I definitely haven't pissed myself.
39:58
Guys. Thank you again so much for
40:00
supporting the pod. God bless.
40:01
Speaking. Speaking of putting hands on, I
40:04
saw a video just the other day from Smosh classic Internet
40:09
creating classics Mosh. And they were going through, I
40:11
believe, like a Reddit questionnaire thing.
40:14
And they came through with these these rules and a question that
40:18
was basically if you were in a room, let's say 20 by 20, kind
40:23
of standard classroom. OK, OK.
40:25
And you were just you had to fight wave after wave, endless
40:30
waves of kindergarteners. Yeah.
40:31
OK. And they were released, I
40:33
believe it was 5 at a time in 32nd increments.
40:36
OK, how many could you be? My answer was essential.
40:41
And look, I'll, I'll be honest, there's probably a little bit of
40:43
ego here. I said at least 100.
40:46
Oh, easily. See, here's here's the only
40:49
thing. Easily.
40:50
Here's the only thing. And I'll give it this, some
40:52
difficulty comes being blunt. I'm a big guy.
40:55
I'm going to get tired quicker than you're going to get tired,
40:58
OK, But 30 seconds, I think as the waves go on, that's going to
41:05
get real tight. I was going to say, until you
41:08
just die from exhaustion, that's true.
41:10
Like, it's not hard to like. Kill you don't have to kill
41:14
won't OK, you don't have to kill them, but it's one of the rules
41:17
was whenever they become unconscious, they get like
41:20
evaporated. Oh yeah, because it because it's
41:22
a simulation. Yeah, and I really think I can
41:25
just Bah, I would saw. A5 year old square in the face
41:29
clean. I would and it wouldn't be
41:31
nothing. Well, it it would be something
41:33
for me internal. Oh no.
41:34
But as soon as I know it's a simulation.
41:36
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. There goes all my morals.
41:38
Real spell, bro. I'm going noon to six on just
41:40
like whatever kids want up by the legs and just swinging
41:43
around. Well, that's that's kind of low
41:44
key. My here's the thing though,
41:47
think about because I googled it.
41:48
The average kindergartner weighs like 40 to 50 lbs.
41:53
That's a lot to swing around. It's OK for more than that's
41:55
fine. It's OK.
41:57
It's OK, It's like I said, until because they're trying to kill
42:00
you, right? Yeah, I think they're trying
42:02
like they're trying to overwhelm you.
42:04
Easy. Yeah.
42:05
Until like the body, like I, I would probably go on however
42:13
long until my body's just like exhausted so.
42:14
How many? How many do you think?
42:16
Like if you had to put a number on it though.
42:17
It released every 30 seconds 5 because.
42:22
That means in 10 minutes. 4000 that's.
42:27
So what is that? 5 year olds?
42:28
Yeah, 4000 released. What's the quick math on that?
42:33
Divided by 5 every 30 seconds, that's a lot of 10 minutes long
42:37
time. 60 that's 60 an hour. Dude, that you?
42:42
You realize that? No, wait, 10 a minute?
42:44
Is that 600 an hour? Yeah, 600, so 600 an hour.
42:49
So yeah. So you're saying 4004 thousand?
42:52
You're looking to go for what, 6?
42:53
Hours of fighting, probably. Go for 10.
42:55
I'm making it 6000 now do. You think you get 10 hours for
42:58
10 hours of street fighting 5 year olds?
43:03
They're so tiny they're fine. Or there's little.
43:05
Here's the thing though. That's so many.
43:08
I want a real answer, Josh, that is a.
43:11
Real answer, you just know. Matt, how many do you think?
43:13
Hold on, what's your what is your stamina like for running?
43:16
Like do you have you ever, Josh play you play wreck, you play
43:19
wreck sports and. Stuff and 1/2 that makes.
43:22
Sense. Yeah, he's he's not I look,
43:24
everybody look at the screen right now.
43:26
Very seldom. Everybody look at the screen
43:27
right now. Matt put it make it wide screen.
43:29
Jonathan Rumi, there's a difference here.
43:31
OK, there's a difference here. Jonathan Rumi.
43:34
All right, calm down. Jonathan Rumi when I get out,
43:39
but for me when I get home. So yeah, fair enough.
43:41
Josh definitely has a stamina. I think he could last longer.
43:44
No doubt. Do you get to drink water while
43:45
you're going? Like, is there like a water jug
43:47
where you're like? No, you're just in the room.
43:48
He. Lasts longer, we have more.
43:50
Fun. We do have more fun because
43:52
here's the thing, I am like I I would be I would be curious how
43:56
many one hit knockouts so many get so, so many.
44:01
Look, like I said in my video, I said 100 all all of them.
44:03
That's true. Well, I think at a certain
44:05
point, whenever you're so tired, you are like starting, you're
44:08
like on your knees like old, like old wrestling.
44:09
Whenever they, they would show that they're real exasperated
44:13
and they're just swinging back and forth.
44:14
I think that's what I'm doing. Whenever I'm at a certain point,
44:16
I'm just on my knees and I'm like, come on, you son of a gun.
44:20
And then five more kids just appear and I'm just taking them
44:23
out. I'm taking bites out of kids
44:24
because I don't care. They're fake.
44:25
They're simulations. I'm also picturing like regular
44:28
kids. Yeah.
44:29
They're not. They're not like, yeah, no.
44:31
That's true. They're just a regular kid.
44:33
There's no power. Like that's where some mosh
44:36
messed up. They're talking about, well, if
44:37
they latch on to you and they do, they grapple you.
44:39
Well, let's be. Blunt.
44:40
Kind of graspy. Blunt those guys also, I think
44:43
they were just, I don't know, they yeah, they were like, oh
44:46
man, like 5. It's like, all right, I'm not
44:48
doing that. I'm not saying like the first
44:50
wave is taking me out. Yeah, but 6000 is insane.
44:54
I mean, I just think yeah, at least probably at least OK, I'll
44:58
say a couple 100. Fair.
45:00
OK. What's 10 minutes?
45:02
It's 60. So it's 606 hundred.
45:05
Per last 10 minutes. Max Well, here's the thing also,
45:08
you have to think about 600 per hour.
45:10
You're saying 6000, Matt, you're saying 10 minutes.
45:13
So maybe so, OK, 15 minutes. And that was what we figured.
45:16
It's 150 a 150, yeah. Yeah.
45:20
There also is something to be said I think for me, generic
45:24
white male breaking news Generic white male completely
45:28
overestimates himself on podcast.
45:31
Like well and also we yeah. And again, it is five at a time.
45:35
It's not 6000 kids in a room versus you because that would be
45:38
more cinematic that. Would be.
45:39
Yeah, yeah. And there's also a part of me
45:41
that kind of doesn't like that they disappear because I kind of
45:43
want to. I feel like that would like,
45:44
reinvigorate me if at a certain point I turned around and I just
45:46
saw the mounds of children that I had not got.
45:51
Now, here's a real question. We talked about maybe going like
45:53
grade by grade or whatever. Let's just straighten up.
45:56
Let's go straight to 9th graders.
45:58
Oh, because I mean at that point.
46:00
Today. These days.
46:01
Bro I mean they're basically they're the same, same.
46:03
Rules like 5, yeah. That's true.
46:06
That's. Oh my gosh.
46:08
I mean, 30 seconds. Oh, so what's the, what's the,
46:10
what's the spread on like boys versus girls?
46:13
Oh. Because like 5 year olds it
46:16
doesn't really matter, but like you get to a certain point
46:18
where. Yeah.
46:19
You know, testosterone starts to kick in a little bit.
46:21
It's like true. You get a wave of like.
46:23
I'd say that's like it's. 2:00 and 3:00 and then three and two,
46:26
two and 33. OK, OK.
46:27
You get you get 2 Britney Griners.
46:30
Some just beasts. Oh, bro.
46:32
But but at the same time, if I got because I remember the
46:36
basketball chicks and volleyball chicks whenever I was at school,
46:39
as long as they don't kick you because those volleyball chicks,
46:41
they got like thighs on them. Yeah, I don't think they're
46:43
going for the kicks. And most look, most kids at that
46:46
age, they don't know how to fight.
46:47
But kids these days, I mean, we've talked about it.
46:50
I want to get my kid in like BJJ tomorrow so those kids bro, they
46:54
might beat the brakes off I. Was going to say I might not
46:56
make it 30 minutes with 9th graders.
46:59
I love how much confidence you have. 30 minutes that would be,
47:04
how many waves that would be what?
47:05
What? Did you say a?
47:06
100 it's two waves a minute, so that's 60 waves with 9th
47:10
graders. Yeah.
47:13
I think a first wave, a couple minutes.
47:15
Still, there's also 9th graders that are tiny.
47:18
You don't get, you don't get to just have the midgets.
47:21
I'm talking about just. Like scrawny?
47:23
Yeah, there are scrawny ones, I feel like.
47:25
Yeah, maybe not. If we dressed you up like
47:27
Conquest, you'd actually do more.
47:30
It's like, well, yeah, just get you serious.
47:33
What is it? He says like, oh, whenever he
47:36
first appears, isn't it Like prepare for my.
47:40
What is it? I don't remember.
47:41
Oh my gosh. That was a good voice acting
47:44
though. Prepare for my whatever worm.
47:47
You know what I'm talking about. Yeah, Yeah, yeah.
47:49
Jeffrey D Morgan killed that. I didn't even watch the show,
47:50
but a lot of clips anyway. So yeah, I mean, we would agree.
47:53
And I guess I really at that point, it is like small adults
47:56
stand ready for my arrival. Yeah.
47:58
What hold is it? Stand ready for my arrival,
48:01
worm. And then 9th graders are like,
48:04
why? And then just shut up, drop off.
48:08
Oh, bro. That would be the other thing
48:09
with the because the 9th graders would be so sassy.
48:13
Like dude, let's get the fat guy.
48:15
I'd be like what the hold up bows Boom boom boom bro.
48:20
Yeah, they would hurt my feelings.
48:21
So quick. I can't tell you you're.
48:24
Tired already? I'd be like, no, who?
48:27
By the way, that was me in high school because we had three
48:28
floors in our high school and sometimes I had to get to the
48:31
top floor. Dude, I would yawn so much.
48:34
I'd be like, it's like 10:00 AM, Yeah.
48:38
It's like you're like. I'm there.
48:39
You know. I grew up in the 1950s.
48:41
Guess how many floors my high school had?
48:44
Well, I don't think yours was actually in a building.
48:47
White was just out in a fail. Was it your?
48:49
Was it your school technically also?
48:51
In like the church? Well, have you ever seen, has
48:56
anybody ever seen holes? Of course that's that was Josh's
49:00
childhood. What did John, you told me
49:02
earlier, Josh's kids bring in some flowers.
49:05
Josh just starts nibbling on one like a damn donkey.
49:08
This is actually yeah, yeah. Did anyone, does anyone ever
49:11
like like honeysuckle grow on or like sweet grass, sweet weed,
49:14
like just kind of like chew on what I mean?
49:16
Josh's childhood was like a Mark Twain novel.
49:20
It's like me and Black Jim were going.
49:23
I was. Painting the white picket fence
49:25
and then I laid my head against the tree Friday.
49:29
Yeah, our 7th grade teacher made us read that out loud, and she
49:32
made us read the words. Oh yeah, we're going to.
49:35
Read because it's historically. Active.
49:36
We're like yo bro To Kill Mockingbird.
49:39
Books we had To Kill a Mockingbird, Scarlet Letter,
49:41
What was the one The lottery we. All looked at Daryl.
49:44
Oh yeah, What? Was up with the books they made
49:47
let's read as kids. They're like, hey, you're going
49:48
to read this book about a community that has to select out
49:52
of a hat who they're going to stone to death every year.
49:54
And then, hey, here's the one about the the town wind a.
49:56
Little white woman was murdered and everybody think it's the
49:59
black guy. And we say the N word a lot.
50:01
It's like, whoa, yeah, I grew up in a small town.
50:05
Shout out to everybody that graduated makes the 100.
50:08
It's fine. It's cool you come from a
50:12
different time. Yeah.
50:14
And now look at you, bro. You, you push weight.
50:17
Push weight. Yeah, dude, you're What does
50:19
that mean? Drug dealer.
50:21
So. OK, man.
50:22
So, yeah, Kindergarteners, Josh can take basically 6000.
50:26
Basically a town, a town of kindergarteners.
50:29
I'm going to give myself hundreds.
50:31
I think I can take hundreds, Matt, pretty much the same boat.
50:34
Or you think 100? Yeah, 152 159th graders.
50:37
We all agree that's basically adults.
50:39
Ball games. Little adults, yeah.
50:41
It's just how are we doing that day?
50:43
Definitely got a stretch in between rounds.
50:45
For you guys, I'm 57, I'm not. I'm looking up at all the 9th
50:49
graders. No.
50:50
Well, some of them you're eye to eye, yeah, but you still get,
50:53
you still got like man strength. They don't have that.
50:55
Man strength is different strength.
50:57
Is different, that's true. You would that I feel weirdly
51:00
stronger. Yeah.
51:01
Yeah. You know, I was talking about,
51:02
like, whipping around, like, 50 lbs.
51:04
Benji, you've picked Benji up. Yeah, he's thick.
51:07
And that's the thing. He's not fat.
51:08
The dude is like, I always call him as a hairless chimp, and
51:10
I'll be whipping him around and he's like 40 something pounds.
51:13
He's dense. Yeah.
51:14
That's actually crazy to say out loud.
51:16
Benji. My son is almost the size of a
51:17
kindergartner. What?
51:18
I mean, he's getting there in age.
51:19
Yeah. Makes sense they grow so.
51:23
So old. Anyway, man, I don't know about
51:28
you guys. I am itching for the other
51:31
packs. For the other packs, OK, And
51:33
before we call this one a wrap, I think we get to that pack.
51:37
Well, lucky for you, I actually wrote another script.
51:39
No, I didn't. Oh my gosh, I wouldn't do that
51:43
to you. Guess you would.
51:44
Yeah, I would. Yeah.
51:50
Type Type. Pokémon gotta catch them all.
51:55
Yeah, with the heart. So true.
51:58
Yes. You teach me and I'll teach you,
52:05
Pokey. Did it with my mouth.
52:07
This this trading guard game says 6 plus we are not the
52:13
intended audience. All right, gang.
52:14
All right, here we go. What you got what you got?
52:16
2 Here we go, the old shrewdl. Oh, let me know if there's any
52:27
like full arts. I've seen like 4 trap niches
52:31
already, they're just snatching the stack in the deck.
52:34
Oh my God. Cheng Pao.
52:38
Cheng Pao. Cheng Pao.
52:41
Very good, very good. We got some hollows.
52:44
Yup, Yup, type. I'm rocking with it.
52:50
Keep it off the money. Still haven't even opened my
52:52
pack yet. Oh my gosh.
52:54
Dude, I can take 6000. Kindergarteners, don't worry.
52:57
Yeah, I bet you can. Big dog do you need give him the
53:01
scissors? Give.
53:02
Me the scissors. You teach me and I'll teach you.
53:05
Got it. JK, for everyone wondering at
53:09
home, I am a grown man. Yeah, I'm a big boy.
53:12
JK from the J man because I'm going to say JFK Jew man.
53:16
Josh is Jewish ethnically, not religiously.
53:19
He's a good Christian man. You call yourself a Messianic
53:22
Jew, right? Go ahead.
53:25
Just just open the pit. Don't.
53:27
I'm going to do another Ben Shapiro impersonation.
53:29
So what I do? I throw this one away.
53:31
Yep, they. Didn't go very far.
53:34
I take the back one which is an energy card likely.
53:37
Put it in the front. Suspense.
53:40
Type let's go, let's go. I'm so excited for that.
53:46
OK, OK, OK. Intense.
53:51
Oh my gosh. This is going to be such a.
53:53
Good pull I can fill. It in my.
53:56
Plums, this is going to pay for the whole box.
53:59
Stop it. Oh, well, actually, why?
54:03
It's cool. No, no.
54:05
Yeah. Just hand it to me.
54:06
I'll show it to you in a second. The last one.
54:08
Is that the last one? Yeah.
54:10
All right. Iron Crown, OH.
54:12
No way. Is that the one?
54:14
Whoa. Is that the Pikachu?
54:15
Pikachu EX238? Is this?
54:17
Hold on, I'm supposed to throw that on the floor?
54:20
Oh my gosh, let me take a picture.
54:23
But need to chat to see. Do I need to smile?
54:28
Oh, it's not for that. Do I need to smile?
54:34
This might be worth something at the very least 10s of dollars.
54:39
As chat looks. I will open mine.
54:42
Yeah, OK, Yes, it's weird. It was.
54:45
At the last one. Stunt, Stunt Fisk.
54:47
Yeah, it's either last or second to last today I.
54:51
Don't know. Thank you Flapple Trio.
54:58
Trio, Trio. Chain.
55:00
Whoa. Chain.
55:01
Whoa, chow cellos. I don't know if that one those
55:06
cellos. Shrewdles yo it's the same 1YO
55:12
stop yo stop yo go dude. 200 and. 60 yo wait a minute, wait a
55:21
minute. Wait.
55:22
Hold up. These are hollow.
55:24
Mine's. Mine's.
55:25
Hollow. Is yours hollow?
55:27
It like me Shannon, it like. You see it?
55:29
ChatGPT says that's the that's the Pikachu X #238 slash 191
55:36
special illustrator rare from surging sparks.
55:39
A seriously good pull based on current raw card pricing and
55:43
this is on it pulled it from like 3 different yeah websites.
55:47
It's roughly near mint and up ungraded 300 370 lightly played.
55:56
So if you've actually lightly played 260 still wow PSA 10
56:00
often around 1000. Shut.
56:02
Stop. You're joking.
56:07
Do not hold it by the edges like that again, because chat saw
56:10
that in your holy way. Sorry chat.
56:12
Holy cow, dude. OK.
56:15
So I think I said this at the beginning of the episode.
56:17
I don't quite remember. We're going to do this every
56:19
single episode moving forward. Not getting paid for it.
56:22
Yeah, dog, that is so nuts that that happened in the first
56:26
episode. What a rush.
56:27
What a rush. Maybe dog, pig dog.
56:32
You have to send them in the PSA.
56:33
OK, more than likely. Well, we'll we'll talk about
56:36
that. We'll talk about it.
56:37
Maybe what we'll do with whatever.
56:38
But dude, what a wonderful weekend there and what a
56:42
wonderful way to end the episode.
56:43
Amazing. Also a we'll talk about this in
56:45
a minute. But guys, thank you so much for
56:48
watching. Thanks.
56:48
For singing around. If you want to see this pod
56:50
continue, please consider becoming a member, go to
56:53
joshandthegiant.com. Consider picking up some merch
56:55
whenever we drop something. That will be soon, pretty soon
56:57
there's going to be some maybe at this point there will be some
57:00
members exclusive content beyond just the first episode of the
57:03
pod and that's going to keep on coming.
57:06
So you can join for as low for a limited time, as low as a dollar
57:09
a month and. I'm going to say this too, if
57:11
you want to be a Joel Osteen member, we do not have a Joel
57:14
Osteen member yet. Nope.
57:15
In our cult, no. We are dedicating members,
57:19
members, members. We're not going to do anything
57:21
bad. We are dedicating the last
57:25
credits scene to just shout out Joel Osteen members type.
57:28
I'm talking your name forever edged in Josh in the giant
57:31
history. Yep, just got to be a member.
57:33
And you know, I'll put this out there, whatever name you want up
57:35
there, What if it's not your name?
57:37
Whatever. Whatever you.
57:38
Pay that money. Whatever combination you pay
57:43
that money. You want Jeffrey Epstein?
57:45
You want Osama bin Laden? What?
57:46
The word up there? You want eight?
57:48
Hey man, really appreciate you guys watching this episode.
57:52
Can't wait to see you on the next one.
57:54
Love you guys. Love you guys.
57:55
Bye. Josh and the giant Giant.