Latest / Loud & Lifted / Quick Lift: How to Overcome Self-Doubt and Build Executive Presence
Transcript
- 0:00Welcome to Loud and Lifted. I'm your host, Betsy
- 0:02Hamm. And in this quick lift episode, we're revisiting
- 0:05the powerful conversation with Jill Avey, leadership
- 0:08and career coach and founder of Sister Smart,
- 0:11who helps women step into bigger roles with confidence
- 0:13and clarity. This episode unpacks what's really
- 0:16standing in our way. And spoiler, it's not just
- 0:19a lack of skill or experience. It's our mindset.
- 0:22We talk about limiting beliefs, saboteurs, and
- 0:25the pressure to please, and what executive presence
- 0:28really means. And under 10 minutes, you'll walk
- 0:30away with powerful reframes, tactical tools,
- 0:33and a reminder that confidence is a practice,
- 0:35not a personality trait. Let's dig in. The first
- 0:46key takeaway, your saboteurs are loud, but you
- 0:49can talk louder. Jill talked about limiting beliefs
- 0:52and how they're your saboteurs. And just to clarify,
- 0:55a limiting belief is the internal story that
- 0:58you believe because you've been telling it to
- 1:00yourself for so long. So we all do that. Maybe
- 1:03I'm not good enough. I'm not smart enough. I'm
- 1:06not outgoing enough. Any of those things can
- 1:08be limiting beliefs you have about yourself.
- 1:10So what do you do? You have to change that. And
- 1:13it starts with one identifying what are those
- 1:15limiting beliefs that you have been telling yourself
- 1:17that aren't true. Then you have to challenge
- 1:20those limits. limiting beliefs that you have
- 1:21and you need to reframe them. You need to start
- 1:24telling a different story. It's just a shift.
- 1:27Jill said about saying, and that's not like me.
- 1:29When you think of some of those limiting beliefs,
- 1:31you're retraining your brain to become the version
- 1:34of who you want to be. I gave the example when
- 1:37she was talking about it, even sometimes it can
- 1:39be something very tactical. In the beginning
- 1:41of my career, I remember thinking I wasn't good
- 1:43with numbers. I wasn't good with accounting or
- 1:46finances and that kind of thing. And I started
- 1:48to believe that just because at that time marketing
- 1:50people weren't typically good with numbers. And
- 1:53I realized that wasn't really true. Sure. It's
- 1:56not my strength, not probably the best thing.
- 1:58I'm never going to be hired to be a VP of finance,
- 2:00but I started to believe that. So I had to really
- 2:02start to flip the script. I did some work, so
- 2:05I became better at that as well. But I started
- 2:07saying, no, I like numbers. I'm not bad at math.
- 2:09I'm not bad at numbers. And eventually, I started
- 2:12to believe the story, essentially, that I was
- 2:15telling myself. And I stopped saying that to
- 2:18other people, because that's part of it, too,
- 2:20is when we're constantly putting ourselves down,
- 2:22oh, I'm not organized was Jill's example, then
- 2:25people start to repeat that back to you. So now
- 2:28you're having that reinforced as well as having
- 2:30it in your own head, which we just have to kill
- 2:32it all. We just have to stop. and we need to
- 2:35reframe it and we need to start telling ourselves
- 2:37a different story. So action item for this one,
- 2:41pick one of those limiting beliefs, one of those
- 2:44thoughts that you have in your head and rewrite
- 2:46it. Start with a that's not like me and follow
- 2:50it up with the behavior or mindset you want to
- 2:52embody. Second takeaway, executive presence isn't
- 2:55a buzzword, it's your next level. Executive presence
- 2:59is what signals to others that your leadership
- 3:01ready. It's made up of communication, gravitas
- 3:04and appearance. But it's also your authenticity
- 3:07and how you treat people. Am I? Previous career.
- 3:11I heard that word a lot when you got to a certain
- 3:13level a director level and you wanted to be at
- 3:16that VP level or management level They would
- 3:18talk about executive presence and I remember
- 3:20not completely understanding what that means
- 3:23because let's be honest It's sort of subjective
- 3:25and it's different to everyone and I think depending
- 3:27what company you're at the expectation is different
- 3:30So all you can do is think about how are you
- 3:33showing up? And I think I've mentioned pie on
- 3:36multiple episodes and I'm really excited that
- 3:38we'll have Linda here to talk about Pi soon,
- 3:41but part of the Pi performance image exposure
- 3:44is that image. So it's how people talk about
- 3:47you when you're not in the room. How do they
- 3:48describe you? How do you portray yourself? How
- 3:51are you perceived in meetings and on teams calls?
- 3:55Are you present and engaged and poised and confident?
- 3:58Or are you sitting in the back of the room? Are
- 4:00you not speaking up? Are you sort of slouched
- 4:03over and just coming across like you aren't the
- 4:05expert in whatever area that you probably are?
- 4:08So Executive presence is really important whether
- 4:11you want to be a VP CEO or just you want to continue
- 4:14to grow in your career you really need to think
- 4:16about how you're being portrayed and how you're
- 4:19showing up and what you need to do in order to
- 4:22be to that next level and I'm sure if we all
- 4:24stop and think about people on leadership teams
- 4:26that we've worked for in the past you can think
- 4:28okay. Yeah, that person was really good, but
- 4:30their executive presence they walked into the
- 4:32room and everybody knew that they were in charge
- 4:35and they were going to be the ones making the
- 4:36decision so It's a confidence thing, right? Again,
- 4:39it kinda goes back to that confidence part. It's
- 4:41how you carry yourself, the confidence, the poise,
- 4:44the relationships. So this week, the action item
- 4:47is ask yourself, do I carry myself like a leader
- 4:50that I want to be? And then pick one area, whether
- 4:53it's your voice or your posture or boundaries
- 4:55or kindness, and level it up. And actually, I
- 4:58think the great part of this is too, is somebody
- 5:01that you trust, have that conversation, ask them
- 5:04for feedback. How do I show up? What do you think
- 5:06about my presence when I'm in the room? Whether
- 5:08it's your boss or a peer, it's great to get that
- 5:10outside person. The next key takeaway is busyness
- 5:13is not a badge of honor. We as women are socialized
- 5:17to be helpful, pleasing and nice, but too often
- 5:21that turns into chronic busyness and burnout.
- 5:23Now let's recap. Have you been listening to prior
- 5:25episodes? How many times we talk about being
- 5:28busy and overwhelmed and work -life balance.
- 5:30I mean, it's come up so much and that's because
- 5:32it's an issue. It's an issue for us as women,
- 5:35especially where we try to take on so much. So
- 5:39the juggling and the prioritizing is so important.
- 5:42So how do you get better? There's a reason we
- 5:44just kind of have to take a step back as we've
- 5:46talked in other episodes about looking at our
- 5:47calendar, being intentional, setting boundaries,
- 5:50scheduling time for what really matters, and
- 5:53just chill. Action item for this week. I know
- 5:56this has been an action item in the past, but
- 5:58say no to one thing this week that is not aligned
- 6:02with your goals. Reclaim your time with intention.
- 6:05And if you need more details on that, go back
- 6:07and also listen to Julia's episode from a few
- 6:09weeks ago. And the last key takeaway, confidence
- 6:12is built through gratitude and wins. Now, again,
- 6:15confidence has come up a lot in prior episodes
- 6:17and we've talked about you have to grow your
- 6:20confidence the same way that you grow your muscles
- 6:22and it's through practice and reps. Now, I really
- 6:26liked what Jill talked about with the mindset
- 6:28work and being intentional and the positive affirmation.
- 6:32She recommends that a very simple but powerful
- 6:35habit that you can do daily is write down three
- 6:38things you're grateful for. and what's going
- 6:41well every day. It's so easy, right? There's
- 6:43always three things to be grateful for. Maybe
- 6:45it's something really big. Maybe it's something
- 6:47really small. Maybe it's something as much as
- 6:49a client that you were trying to get a hold of
- 6:51finally called you back or gave you a compliment
- 6:53or you got put on a great project. It can be
- 6:56little things and it could be bigger things,
- 6:58but think about what you're grateful for every
- 7:00day and write it down. It's a great habit to
- 7:02get into. We also talked about keeping a victory
- 7:05folder or a win journal. And I love this. And
- 7:09as I mentioned on the podcast, it's something
- 7:10that I did and I don't know why I stopped, but
- 7:13having a victory file or folder or a wins journal,
- 7:15whatever you want to call it. It's just taking
- 7:17anything that was a win or a victory and putting
- 7:21it in one place, whether it's an email or somebody
- 7:23says something really nice about you, gives you
- 7:25a compliment. Maybe it's results of a campaign
- 7:28that you were part of, but put all of that in
- 7:30one spot. call it your wind journal, call it
- 7:33your victory notebook, but just continue to compile
- 7:35that. It's such an awesome thing in order to
- 7:38go back and look at that and say, oh, okay, wow.
- 7:40It helps to build your confidence, helps you
- 7:42to give you that credibility. And hey, let's
- 7:44be honest, honestly, if you were thinking about
- 7:46interviewing for a job in the future, you have
- 7:48this little wind folder that you can go back
- 7:50to and be able to pull ideas of things that happened
- 7:53that went really well. That to me is the bonus.
- 7:55The more important part is building your confidence
- 7:57by keeping track of those wins and what you did
- 7:59well. You're not too busy, too emotional, too
- 8:02under qualified or too late. You're capable and
- 8:06the only thing standing in your way right now
- 8:08just might be the story that you're telling yourself.
- 8:11Huge thanks to Jill for helping us reframe those
- 8:13beliefs and show up as the leaders we were meant
- 8:15to be. If this quick lift episode resonated with
- 8:18you, please send it to a friend who needs to
- 8:20hear it. Make sure you're following us on Instagram
- 8:22at Loud and Lifted Podcasts and subscribe wherever
- 8:25you listen to podcasts so you don't miss the
- 8:27next conversation. Until next time, keep leading,
- 8:30keep rewriting and keep getting loud and lifted.