Latest / Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families / Helping Kids Fall in Love with Reading – A Conversation with Sally Rippin

Transcript

Helping Kids Fall in Love with Reading – A Conversation with Sally Rippin · Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

• 0:06
  Speaker 1: One of Australia's most accomplished children's authors, joins me on
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  Speaker 1: the podcast today to talk kids reading and also what
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: it means to be the Australian Children's Laureate. I'm so
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: excited to have somebody coming back to the podcast. Return guest,
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: repeat offender, Stay with us. Welcome to Australia's most downloaded
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: parenting podcast, The Happy Family's Podcast, where we give you
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  Speaker 1: real parenting solutions every day. My name's doctor Justin Coulson.
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: We are joined today by Sally Rippon. Sally is one
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  Speaker 1: of Australia's highest selling female authors ever. Has written over
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  Speaker 1: one hundred books for children and young adults, so many
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  Speaker 1: of them have won awards. You may be familiar with
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: a couple of her series. Several series written, but a
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  Speaker 1: couple of the series that pretty much everyone has at
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  Speaker 1: least a couple of these books on the bookshelf. There's
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  Speaker 1: the School of Monsters series, which is the most recent one.
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  Speaker 1: Billy B. Brown. My kids have still got their Billy B.
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  Speaker 1: Brown books on their bookshelves. Prolific author, current Australian Children's
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  Speaker 1: Laureate and over the last eighteen months, Sally has been
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  Speaker 1: traveling locally and internationally to talk about the way that
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  Speaker 1: we can share stories and support children who might struggle
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  Speaker 1: to read. Sally, thanks for coming back to the Happy
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  Speaker 1: Families podcast.
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  Speaker 2: It's such a thrill. It's really exciting to be here.
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  Speaker 2: And you know, we touch base at the beginning with
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  Speaker 2: the Lariate ships, so it's really great to check in
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  Speaker 2: with how it's or going.
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  Speaker 1: So I'd never heard I'd heard of the word when
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  Speaker 1: we first spoke, but I didn't really understand what the
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  Speaker 1: Australian Children's Laureate was. For people who missed our conversation
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  Speaker 1: twelve eighteen months ago, can you just give us the
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  Speaker 1: quick background. What is the Australian Children's Laureate, why is
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  Speaker 1: it you and what do you do?
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  Speaker 2: So it's a position that is run by a board,
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  Speaker 2: the Australian Children's Lauriate Foundation, and what they aim to
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  Speaker 2: do is to choose the Children's auce at for a
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  Speaker 2: period of a couple of years to represent the interests
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  Speaker 2: of obviously children, but read parents, families and really to
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  Speaker 2: choose a mission statement and to spend those two years
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  Speaker 2: and really using that platform for good in a way.
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  Speaker 2: So my mission statement is all kids can be readers,
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  Speaker 2: And what I mean by that is that we are
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  Speaker 2: always going to have children who struggle to engage with reading,
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  Speaker 2: So we need to look at really imaginative and really
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  Speaker 2: effective ways to ensure if our children don't acquire the
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  Speaker 2: reading skills they need for life, how we can ensure
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  Speaker 2: they can still access stories and have all the benefits
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  Speaker 2: that we know stories and books can bring them.
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  Speaker 1: Sally, I'm going to link in the podcast show notes
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  Speaker 1: to our previous conversation for parents who want tips and
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  Speaker 1: ideas on how they can help their children to fall
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  Speaker 1: in love with reading. Rather than us repeating the same
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  Speaker 1: interview again, I don't think that that's beneficial. People can
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  Speaker 1: go and listen to it. It was genuinely one of
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  Speaker 1: the best conversations that we've had on the pod about
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  Speaker 1: getting kids to read. I really really loved it. What
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  Speaker 1: I'd like to know is you've been doing this now
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  Speaker 1: for eighteen months. The Children's Laureate role is a twenty
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  Speaker 1: four month position. In terms of your goals helping all
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  Speaker 1: children to become readers and engage in stories.
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  Speaker 2: Was there anything.
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  Speaker 1: Specific that you said, I've got to achieve this. This
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  Speaker 1: is something that is tangible, it's measurable. I can hang
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  Speaker 1: my hat on saying I did X, Y or Z
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  Speaker 1: or did it remain a fairly nebulous mission statement. We
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  Speaker 1: need to increase the conversation.
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  Speaker 2: I think a little bit of both. I think I
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  Speaker 2: made a joke with the program manager of the lawriateship
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  Speaker 2: that even if by the end of my tenure people
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  Speaker 2: know we have a laureate and what a lauriate is okay, yes,
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  Speaker 2: But I think also one of the biggest shifts we've
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  Speaker 2: certainly seen, and this is something that parents behind the
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  Speaker 2: scenes have been advocating for years, is the way that
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  Speaker 2: we teach reading. And so this feels like a huge
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  Speaker 2: shift in our understanding of the way that we acquire
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  Speaker 2: reading skills. And there's been a parent support group that
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  Speaker 2: I have been a part of since my younger son
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  Speaker 2: was identified as being dyslexic or dyslexiccourer support group who
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  Speaker 2: have been lobbying for years and years and years to
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  Speaker 2: effectively change the way we teach reading. So we know
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  Speaker 2: now through neuroscience, the way that our brains are actually
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  Speaker 2: rewired to become proficient readers. So we're born with the
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  Speaker 2: capacity to be able to speak, we hear our parents
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  Speaker 2: talking through the mother's belly, and so we're born with
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  Speaker 2: oral language, but we're not born with the capacity to read.
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  Speaker 2: So now that this is recognized in science, we also
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  Speaker 2: can use science to assess which is the best way
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  Speaker 2: to teach reading. And people use the word phonics really loosely.
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  Speaker 2: They kind of throw that around, and that had been
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  Speaker 2: kind of a little bit of a battering ram. But
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  Speaker 2: there are many things that we can do as parents
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  Speaker 2: to support the way that we're going to be taught
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  Speaker 2: to read.
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  Speaker 1: Let'say, I've got a child who does like to read,
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  Speaker 1: but they only read the one thing. They only read
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  Speaker 1: the one genre. They only read graphic novels, or they
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  Speaker 1: only read books about dragons, or they only read fairy books,
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  Speaker 1: or I don't know, whatever the thing is. And as
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  Speaker 1: a parent, I want my children to expand their world.
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  Speaker 1: I want them to think differently. I want them to
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  Speaker 1: recognize that there are so many other genres that could
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  Speaker 1: be enlightening and delightful, and there's so much out there.
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  Speaker 1: How would you encourage a parent to step into that
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  Speaker 1: conversation or do you think that it's not a conversation
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  Speaker 1: that needs to be had.
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  Speaker 2: Look, I think every conversation is up for having and
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  Speaker 2: I think I think children, like adults, don't like to
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  Speaker 2: be told what to do, and so we like to
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  Speaker 2: feel that we have agency, and so I think choice
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  Speaker 2: can be a really important part of children still being
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  Speaker 2: interested in engage with reading. And so it might be
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  Speaker 2: a compromise, you know, maybe you can go to the library,
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  Speaker 2: or if you can afford to go to bookstore regularly,
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  Speaker 2: maybe the child chooses their own reading material and potentially
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  Speaker 2: you could choose one that you could read together. I
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  Speaker 2: think it's really important that kids see adults reading, because
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  Speaker 2: we don't want to see reading as a punishment. Go
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  Speaker 2: to your room and do your readers the best way
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  Speaker 2: to turn a child off reading. So boys seeing their
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  Speaker 2: dad's reading is really really important. And if their dads
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  Speaker 2: are only reading, you know, the newspaper of the sports pages,
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  Speaker 2: then why would a boy want to pick up you know,
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  Speaker 2: pride and prejudice. So we also going to model the
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  Speaker 2: kind of readers we want our children to be. And
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  Speaker 2: I think also there are other ways just to be
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  Speaker 2: interested in what your children are interested in, and you
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  Speaker 2: might surprise yourself. You know, my youngest son, even though
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  Speaker 2: he wasn't a great reader. He went through this stage
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  Speaker 2: of listening to this horrendous hip hop music, and I
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  Speaker 2: could have fought against that, but I chose to use
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  Speaker 2: it as a conversation starter. So I'd let him choose
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  Speaker 2: the music in the car and I'd say, that's really
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  Speaker 2: interesting about the way they talk about women, and how
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  Speaker 2: do you feel about that, and then we begin a
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  Speaker 2: conversation around that. So I think books can be the
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  Speaker 2: same thing. If you're looking at the books that your
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  Speaker 2: children are reading, are being interested and engaged, you're likely
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  Speaker 2: to find out what it is about that book that
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  Speaker 2: entices them, and that could be great conversations to have
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  Speaker 2: around that. Maybe they want to talk about the hero
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  Speaker 2: in the story, maybe they want to talk about the sidekick.
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  Speaker 2: And it's a really interesting way in to where your
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  Speaker 2: child is at.
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  Speaker 1: I'm listening to you say that, and there are four
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  Speaker 1: things that I've noted as you're talking that I want
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  Speaker 1: to pull out of it, just for emphasis or to
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  Speaker 1: probe a little deeper. The first thing is together. All
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  Speaker 1: the best experiences that we have with our kids when
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  Speaker 1: it comes to read, tend to be together, reading with
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  Speaker 1: your child on your lap when they're young, or laying
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  Speaker 1: on the floor beside them while they're in bed and reading.
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  Speaker 1: I remember reading The Princess Bride by I think it's
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  Speaker 1: William Goldman to my kids, and I did exactly what
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  Speaker 1: the grandpa does in the movies. I skipped over the
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  Speaker 1: boring bits, because he actually includes some boring bits, even
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  Speaker 1: though the entire things of work of fiction. I skipped
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  Speaker 1: over the boring bits that he put in the book
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  Speaker 1: and just read this book and I still just the
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  Speaker 1: love of what a book can give you. The kids
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  Speaker 1: actually said The Princess Bride that sounds like the worst
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  Speaker 1: book ever, like they really didn't want to read it.
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  Speaker 1: And then as we would get to this twist and
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  Speaker 1: this turn and this plot challenge, and I would pause
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  Speaker 1: and I'd just say, oh, I guess we have to
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  Speaker 1: finish it right there, and they would scream, no more page,
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  Speaker 1: one more chapter. And you know you've got them right
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  Speaker 1: when you stop at the climactic moment and you refuse
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  Speaker 1: to read, and because like they're dying for it. The
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  Speaker 1: way that we can build suspense when I'm reading, there's
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  Speaker 1: a book series that's by Obert Sky, It's called the
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  Speaker 1: leven Thumps series, and putting on the voices so a
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  Speaker 1: character called Geth. He's Sean Connery. Basically in my head
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  Speaker 1: show Geth sweeks like this. And there's Clover, who's this
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  Speaker 1: little sicker fant who is like a catlike creature from
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  Speaker 1: another world. And Clover speaks in this really high kind
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  Speaker 1: of I don't know, And the kids they fall in
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  Speaker 1: love with the characters, they fall in love with the voices,
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  Speaker 1: and it becomes this delightful bonding time. You've highlighted the
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  Speaker 1: importance of together and I don't know that there's a
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  Speaker 1: more powerful and profound way to help kids to fall
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  Speaker 1: in love with reading. Why because they fall in love
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  Speaker 1: with you. I wonder if you have any reactions to that.
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  Speaker 2: Oh my heart just sings when you say all of that,
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  Speaker 2: because I think we were chatting before about how addicta's
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  Speaker 2: screens are, and they are they're created to make all
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  Speaker 2: of us addicted. I had to consciously put my phone
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  Speaker 2: to one side if I want to be able to read.
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  Speaker 2: But phone is never going to give you the connection
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  Speaker 2: like that. I mean, all people crave to be seen,
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  Speaker 2: to have someone fully present with them, it doesn't matter
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  Speaker 2: how old we are, and to be able to do
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  Speaker 2: that with a child, there's nothing more magical, and so
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  Speaker 2: there's actually no competition when if you're really serious about it,
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  Speaker 2: if you can put down all your distractions and be
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  Speaker 2: so present with a child, even just for a short
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  Speaker 2: moment each day, what a beautiful thing that a book offers.
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  Speaker 2: And of course there are many people who may find
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  Speaker 2: that challenging. They may not be proficient readers themselves, they
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  Speaker 2: may be just exhausted at the end of the day.
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  Speaker 2: So listen to an audiobook together and talk about it.
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  Speaker 2: You know, there are so many sophisticated stories that you
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  Speaker 2: can share with your children that a child appropriate. You know,
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  Speaker 2: they don't have to be some of the stuff that
• 9:45
  Speaker 2: you watch together on television. You might kind of hesitate
• 9:48
  Speaker 2: about bringing a small child into that space, but you
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  Speaker 2: can have complex ideas you can talk about really branch
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  Speaker 2: into emotional awareness by reading books together or listening to audiobooks.
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  Speaker 2: And like you say, it's the greatest connection you can
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  Speaker 2: have with the chart and it can take practice. It
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  Speaker 2: doesn't come easily for everybody, but it's so well.
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  Speaker 1: So we are joined today by Sally Rippon, prolific author,
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  Speaker 1: current Australian Children's Laureate, and over the last eighteen months
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  Speaker 1: Sally has been traveling locally and internationally to talk about
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  Speaker 1: the way that we can share stories and support children
• 10:29
  Speaker 1: who might struggle to read. Sally, you do these interviews
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  Speaker 1: all the time, day in, day out. You're talking to
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  Speaker 1: people about the same stuff all the time, getting kids
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  Speaker 1: to love reading, and trying to achieve your overarching mission
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  Speaker 1: of helping books to be part of children's lives. Because
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  Speaker 1: you do so many of these interviews, I have a
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  Speaker 1: question that's going to be quite different, and it's putting
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  Speaker 1: a lot of pressure on you as I asked this question,
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  Speaker 1: So I apologize for this, But because you get so
• 10:53
  Speaker 1: many of the same questions, I'd love to know what's
• 10:56
  Speaker 1: the best question that you've been asked recently. What's a
• 10:59
  Speaker 1: question that you've pulled and gone wow. I wish more
• 11:02
  Speaker 1: people ask questions like that.
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  Speaker 2: Oh, you have put me on the spot, even though
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  Speaker 2: you warned me you would ask this one. I think
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  Speaker 2: questions can be really confronting, and this is something I
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  Speaker 2: really learned raising teenagers as well. Is that just to
• 11:15
  Speaker 2: put someone on the spot and ask a teenager a
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  Speaker 2: question I always find really challenging. Your mind goes blank
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  Speaker 2: and you can't come up with anything funny or or smart.
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  Speaker 2: So I think for me, I have found the most
• 11:27
  Speaker 2: interesting conversations have come from what we're doing right now.
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  Speaker 2: I'm really interested in who you are and how you
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  Speaker 2: think and what your experiences are, and in turn, then
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  Speaker 2: it prompts me to exchange some of my experiences. And
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  Speaker 2: I found that really with my three boys as they
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  Speaker 2: were growing up, particularly as teenagers, that I think people
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  Speaker 2: forget to listen to teenagers, and I certainly would often
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  Speaker 2: make those mistakes, and teenage boys can be really hard
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  Speaker 2: to get out of their shelves, and so I would
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  Speaker 2: find ways to incidentally have conversations and connections with them.
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  Speaker 2: So you know, the parallel sitting in a car having conversation,
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  Speaker 2: listening to music, going on walks together is so much
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  Speaker 2: less confronting than just sitting across the table from them
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  Speaker 2: and saying, how is your day? Then they don't know
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  Speaker 2: what to so probably maybe what I'll do by answering
• 12:16
  Speaker 2: that question is give an example of a teenager who
• 12:19
  Speaker 2: I felt answered the question of all the adults in
• 12:22
  Speaker 2: the room. And so I was lucky enough to be
• 12:24
  Speaker 2: asked to attend a PD for teachers out at a
• 12:27
  Speaker 2: massive school and vulnerable talking to them about how we
• 12:30
  Speaker 2: can best support neurodivision kids in the classroom. And before me,
• 12:34
  Speaker 2: who was supposedly the expert because I've written a book
• 12:36
  Speaker 2: for parents and supporting eurodivision kids, they asked a year
• 12:39
  Speaker 2: eight girl to get up and do a PowerPoint and
• 12:41
  Speaker 2: talk about what it was like to have ADHD and
• 12:44
  Speaker 2: go through school. And she prepared this beautiful PowerPoint and
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  Speaker 2: she talked about the challenges but some of the cool
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  Speaker 2: things about having ADHD too, And when it was time
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  Speaker 2: for me to stand up, I was like, my job
• 12:54
  Speaker 2: here is done. Pretty much. She is telling you everything
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  Speaker 2: you need. You don't need to hear it from me.
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  Speaker 2: You actually just needed to hear it from your young people.
• 13:02
  Speaker 2: Ask them what is it like in the classroom for you?
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  Speaker 2: Is I to challenge what are the challenges? And kids
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  Speaker 2: can have the most amazing responses. And that's how I
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  Speaker 2: try to stay open and keep learning. Is actually turning
• 13:13
  Speaker 2: around on other people and asking them, you know, what
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  Speaker 2: are you thinking? Especially young people. Young people are so
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  Speaker 2: happy if you asked them that question.
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  Speaker 1: Yes, Sally, another one. I love the experience, but number two,
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  Speaker 1: my summary of what you've said when I'm asking you
• 13:26
  Speaker 1: one of the best questions you've been asked recently is
• 13:29
  Speaker 1: is that it's not really about the questions. It's about
• 13:30
  Speaker 1: the dialogue. It's about the insight that comes as we
• 13:33
  Speaker 1: bounce ideas off each other, which means that if we
• 13:35
  Speaker 1: want our kids to engage with us and converse with
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  Speaker 1: us and open up books and read them, it really
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  Speaker 1: is about somehow, as you said, bringing them out of
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  Speaker 1: their shells and helping them to be open and curious
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  Speaker 1: and consider that there might be a worldview or an
• 13:50
  Speaker 1: opportunity to step into empathy that they hadn't considered before.
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  Speaker 2: Absolutely, and for us to model that we need to
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  Speaker 2: be open and curious as to how they see the
• 13:58
  Speaker 2: world and how they're going.
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  Speaker 1: With Yeah, Yeah, beautiful. Modeling seems to be coming up
• 14:02
  Speaker 1: over and over and again in this conversation. In your
• 14:05
  Speaker 1: last answer, you referred to curiosity and your love of
• 14:09
  Speaker 1: asking questions. This is an unusual thing for the guy
• 14:12
  Speaker 1: who's doing the interview to do, but you're obviously a
• 14:17
  Speaker 1: prolific author, You're right for children all the time, and
• 14:20
  Speaker 1: you think deeply about a lot of things. I've got
• 14:23
  Speaker 1: a PhD in psychology and we share a lot of
• 14:25
  Speaker 1: mixed interests. I'm wondering if you have anything that you're
• 14:29
  Speaker 1: curious about that you like, let's turn the tables. Is
• 14:32
  Speaker 1: there something that you would ask me.
• 14:34
  Speaker 2: I love that. I think that's such fun.
• 14:36
  Speaker 1: I've always a bit nervous about it. It's like, am I
• 14:38
  Speaker 1: putting this person on the spot. It's am I making
• 14:40
  Speaker 1: this conversation about me? Is this too narcissistic? An ego oriented?
• 14:43
  Speaker 1: It is not meant to be. It's just I think
• 14:46
  Speaker 1: it's about the dialogue.
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  Speaker 2: Right that. I'm really curious in how you find boys
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  Speaker 2: are managing in the world. I know you're writing and
• 14:58
  Speaker 2: researching a book about boys, but you also were a boy,
• 15:03
  Speaker 2: and so I know there was some really interesting conversations
• 15:07
  Speaker 2: that you started around adolescents the series that I think
• 15:11
  Speaker 2: a lot of people have seen, And I wonder how
• 15:13
  Speaker 2: you feel like boys are fairing and doing the research
• 15:16
  Speaker 2: and studying this book. I brought up three boys, but
• 15:18
  Speaker 2: my youngest is now twenty two. I think it's hard
• 15:21
  Speaker 2: for them. And even my kids were adolescents.
• 15:24
  Speaker 1: So first of all, adolescents that the Netflix series turned
• 15:27
  Speaker 1: the world upside down, and I did write a lot
• 15:29
  Speaker 1: about it. One thing that I didn't do and the
• 15:31
  Speaker 1: series have been criticized quite a lot. Is statistically it's
• 15:34
  Speaker 1: quite unrealistic that the events portrayed in the series would
• 15:38
  Speaker 1: actually occur, and I think that that's definitely worth noting.
• 15:41
  Speaker 1: But those people who are getting caught up on that
• 15:43
  Speaker 1: are missing the broader point, and that is that there
• 15:46
  Speaker 1: is a really big challenge for our boys today in
• 15:49
  Speaker 1: terms of how they are relating to one another, how
• 15:52
  Speaker 1: they're relating to girls, and how they're relating to themselves,
• 15:56
  Speaker 1: their quest for identity. It's really a really tough time.
• 16:00
  Speaker 1: The short version is, I don't think that boys on
• 16:02
  Speaker 1: the whole are doing nearly as well. I've got a
• 16:06
  Speaker 1: whole lot of stats in my new book about how
• 16:07
  Speaker 1: for every ten girls who finish high school, only eight
• 16:10
  Speaker 1: boys do. For every ten girls that go to university,
• 16:12
  Speaker 1: only seven boys do. For every girl who graduate university,
• 16:15
  Speaker 1: the only six point seven boys do, and so on.
• 16:17
  Speaker 1: And then when we look at the negative behaviors being
• 16:21
  Speaker 1: involved in fights or taking drugs or blah blah blah,
• 16:25
  Speaker 1: as boys get older, for every ten girls who are
• 16:27
  Speaker 1: doing it, there are multiples of that in the boy
• 16:29
  Speaker 1: side of things that are doing it. The boy side
• 16:31
  Speaker 1: of the equation. So to me, that's a really big
• 16:35
  Speaker 1: challenge that we're facing. In Harry Potter and the Curse Child,
• 16:39
  Speaker 1: the Harry Potter book that was not written by JK.
• 16:42
  Speaker 1: Rowling and the one that went on to become the
• 16:44
  Speaker 1: stage play, the authors have Draco Malfoy and Harry as
• 16:49
  Speaker 1: adults having a conversation about their teenage children. Draco has
• 16:53
  Speaker 1: this beautiful, beautiful line that he delivers to Harry as
• 16:56
  Speaker 1: they're having this really challenged discussion. Raco says, people say
• 17:02
  Speaker 1: that parenting is the toughest job there is. It's not
• 17:07
  Speaker 1: growing up is, And I just there's so much empathy
• 17:11
  Speaker 1: in that. There's so much beauty in that really simple observation.
• 17:17
  Speaker 1: And I think about your question, and I asked myself,
• 17:20
  Speaker 1: born in nineteen seventy five, I'm fifty this year. Would
• 17:23
  Speaker 1: I rather be a child of the seventies and eighties
• 17:28
  Speaker 1: or would I rather be a child today? And I
• 17:30
  Speaker 1: don't have to think about it for a millisecond. I
• 17:33
  Speaker 1: know the answer. And writing this book about boys has
• 17:37
  Speaker 1: been a really profound experience for me, especially as a
• 17:41
  Speaker 1: father of girls, to step into the world of boys,
• 17:43
  Speaker 1: to look at the things that they're doing to demonstrate
• 17:46
  Speaker 1: that their masculinity isn't precarious, The way they're trying to
• 17:50
  Speaker 1: either embrace or fight against manbox beliefs, the way that
• 17:54
  Speaker 1: they police one another with this boy code, the impact,
• 17:59
  Speaker 1: the overarch devastating impact of pornography in their lives, and
• 18:06
  Speaker 1: so much more. It's really tough. I mean, you've raised
• 18:10
  Speaker 1: three boys. When you look at what they've been through,
• 18:13
  Speaker 1: would you rather be a girl or a boy being
• 18:15
  Speaker 1: raised today?
• 18:17
  Speaker 2: I one hundred percent agree with you. I think it's
• 18:20
  Speaker 2: I think what women have had as an umbrella and
• 18:25
  Speaker 2: as a model is feminism, so we have something to
• 18:28
  Speaker 2: work towards. Yes, what men have been living under, young
• 18:32
  Speaker 2: men is this umbrella of toxic masculinity. So they're saying, well,
• 18:36
  Speaker 2: what who do I model myself on? You know, what
• 18:39
  Speaker 2: do I aspire to? Just identifying as a straight white
• 18:43
  Speaker 2: man can actually make them feel bad about themselves because
• 18:46
  Speaker 2: of how that term is used today. And I think
• 18:50
  Speaker 2: it's really sad that boys are finding it so hard
• 18:54
  Speaker 2: to get the support they need because we have got
• 18:56
  Speaker 2: so good at knowing how to support girls, at giving
• 18:59
  Speaker 2: them go to work towards. And I think there is
• 19:02
  Speaker 2: an empty space now that boys don't know how to
• 19:05
  Speaker 2: step into. But I also just want to jump in
• 19:07
  Speaker 2: and say how much I love it that the answer
• 19:12
  Speaker 2: to your questions came from what is essentially a children's book,
• 19:15
  Speaker 2: and I just think, here, I guess here's the problem solving.
• 19:21
  Speaker 2: Is that if we do engage with the child's world,
• 19:24
  Speaker 2: if we do access what children are going through, and
• 19:27
  Speaker 2: we can do this through watching things with them, talking
• 19:30
  Speaker 2: about the books they're reading or the music they're listening to,
• 19:33
  Speaker 2: whether you like it or not, there is a portal
• 19:36
  Speaker 2: there that we can not only access our own childhoods
• 19:39
  Speaker 2: and remember how we felt growing up, but hopefully from
• 19:41
  Speaker 2: that space connect with our own children, because yeah, it's
• 19:44
  Speaker 2: really hard and it's very different when we're growing up.
• 19:47
  Speaker 2: So if we're not tuning into that, we're going to
• 19:49
  Speaker 2: miss opportunities to connect with them. And that was my
• 19:51
  Speaker 2: takeaway from adolescents that they lost connection with their son.
• 19:55
  Speaker 2: You know, whether or not those things he did could
• 19:56
  Speaker 2: have really happened. For me, The key was as soon
• 19:59
  Speaker 2: as you lose connection with your child, someone else would
• 20:02
  Speaker 2: jump in and make that connection with them, and that's
• 20:05
  Speaker 2: where the danger starts. Believe.
• 20:06
  Speaker 1: So my definition of connection is when you feel seen,
• 20:10
  Speaker 1: heard and valued.
• 20:11
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that your parent is really present there for you
• 20:13
  Speaker 2: and curious to how you feel.
• 20:15
  Speaker 1: And I'm not sure that there are too many better
• 20:17
  Speaker 1: ways to create connection, to create a feeling of being seen,
• 20:20
  Speaker 1: heard and valued than to sit down and read a
• 20:22
  Speaker 1: book together.
• 20:23
  Speaker 2: Absolutely, that's the takeaway for today.
• 20:25
  Speaker 1: I reckon it's a pretty tidy way to finish this conversation, unplanned, unscripted.
• 20:29
  Speaker 2: But I like it so good.
• 20:32
  Speaker 1: Sally Rippin The Australian Children's Laureate eighteen months into a
• 20:35
  Speaker 1: twenty four month stint, and again, such a delight to
• 20:39
  Speaker 1: talk with you. I love our conversations every time. Thank
• 20:42
  Speaker 1: you for being with me on The Happy Family's podcast.
• 20:44
  Speaker 2: It's always much pleasure. And I'm so glad that it
• 20:46
  Speaker 2: remained open and curious, because I think that's how the
• 20:48
  Speaker 2: best conversations are.
• 20:49
  Speaker 1: Yeah, thank you so much. We will link to some
• 20:51
  Speaker 1: notes about the Australian Children's Laureate in the show notes,
• 20:54
  Speaker 1: as well as a couple of more popular series of
• 20:57
  Speaker 1: Sally's In case you have young kids who would love
• 21:00
  Speaker 1: to or who you would love to have those mind
• 21:03
  Speaker 1: expanding experiences, check the show notes for that. The Happy
• 21:05
  Speaker 1: Families podcast is produced by Justin Roland for Bridge Media.
• 21:08
  Speaker 1: Mim Hammonds looks after research, admin and resources. If you
• 21:12
  Speaker 1: would like more information about making your family happier, visit
• 21:15
  Speaker 1: us at happy families dot com, dot a