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I Never Thought I’d Love Independent Living: Connie’s Story at 83 · A Place for Seniors

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to a place for seniors, where we share the real truth about what seniors need.
• 0:05
  SPEAKER_00: This podcast features honest, heartfelt conversations, the ones we don't always have, but matter the most.
• 0:12
  SPEAKER_00: Here we share real stories and simple insights about aging with dignity, choice, and autonomy.
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_00: Together, we bring what we've learned from over 20,000 conversations with seniors and their families, guiding you through some of life's hardest decisions.
• 0:27
  SPEAKER_00: We invite you to listen, learn, and prepare with us, because these conversations matter and the choices we make today shape our tomorrow.
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_00: Hi, and welcome to a Place for Seniors podcast.
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_00: I'm Alison Carmen, and today I have a very special guest, Connie Pielett.
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you very much.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, absolutely.
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_00: So, Connie, I'm so glad you're on because you were a client of mine probably two and a half years ago, through two years ago.
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_01: Almost three.
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_01: Almost three years ago.
• 0:59
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, that's right.
• 0:59
  SPEAKER_00: That's right.
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_00: So um, and we're gonna talk about your journey because I always tell people this is like I found it 16 years ago.
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_00: I thought it was the best thing since sliced bread, but you're an actual resident now for three years.
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_00: So when you were first starting out looking, you were living in a big Mark Taylor fan multifamily apartment complex.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely correct.
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_00: And what was happening?
• 1:29
  SPEAKER_00: Why why did you decide that you wanted to look?
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I had moved from North Carolina to Arizona to be with my grandchildren.
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_01: Uh-huh.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_01: And so I had lived in different apartments, different condos.
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_01: Uh-huh.
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_01: Mark Taylor was the last place that I lived.
• 1:45
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_01: And I would get sick every now and then, and I'd drive myself to the hospital, and my children became very nervous because they would they couldn't get to me.
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_01: And they both have young children.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 2:01
  SPEAKER_01: So they said, Mom, you're making us nervous, you know.
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_01: Why can't you think about uh living in another place that we'd feel more comfortable?
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_00: Has more support and things, right?
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_01: So independent living.
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_01: Independent living.
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_01: And I had never really thought about it because I'm one of those people that always think I'm young.
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I found out real quick once I hit my 80s that I'm not so young and I need help.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_00: It's strange, isn't it?
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_01: Oh.
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_00: When you hit your 80s.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_00: It's like that 80th year, something happens, right?
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_01: Absolutely was because I was still doing splits in my 70s.
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_01: That's right.
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_01: So this was You were a gymnast.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_01: I was a gymnast.
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_01: This was a big adjustment for me.
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_01: Like, why can't I let me know?
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_01: Like your body changed.
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_01: I had nobody to talk to.
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_01: And I do like people, but after when you get to be in your 80s or maybe even 70s, I don't know.
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_01: You don't go out as much.
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_01: How do you meet people?
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_01: Church.
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_01: So I stayed in a lot, not just because of the weather being hot and 18, whatever it was.
• 3:08
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but uh so when my children ask me to start, mom, we'd feel a lot safer if you'd go look.
• 3:15
  SPEAKER_01: And lo and behold, I find this wonderful woman, Alison, who it's the truth to help me go look.
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_01: I didn't even know where to start, Allison.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_01: You know that.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I know.
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_01: And I knew I wanted to look at more than one place.
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_01: And lo and behold, you took me qu around quite a bit so that I could really make I think we went to maybe four or five.
• 3:39
  SPEAKER_01: At least.
• 3:39
  SPEAKER_01: At least four or five.
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_01: Bless your heart.
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_01: You didn't know that you were gonna be doing it.
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_01: But yeah, it was wonderful because I got to choose different places.
• 3:49
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_01: And I didn't even think I was ready to go to a how old were you then?
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_00: Eight three years ago.
• 3:56
  SPEAKER_00: Were you eighty?
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I'm almost eighty-four now.
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_01: So you were eighty four.
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_01: I was close to eighty-one, if not late 79, but I think 80.
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_01: And I never even thought about independent care.
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_01: Because I'm one of those I still think I can do everything.
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 4:14
  SPEAKER_01: And I can't.
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_01: So it was an adjustment for me.
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_01: It was quite an adjustment.
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_01: And I have to say it still is.
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_01: Because a lot of times I still think, oh, I can do that, because I'm still driving.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_01: I've just come to the realization that I'm not so good anymore at driving.
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_01: Really?
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_01: Uh yeah.
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_01: So I know that time is coming.
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_01: My children have already asked me for the car.
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_01: Wow.
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, for their children.
• 4:40
  SPEAKER_01: For their children.
• 4:40
  SPEAKER_01: She's got one that's driving now.
• 4:42
  SPEAKER_01: God bless her.
• 4:43
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 4:44
  SPEAKER_01: So I know the minute I stop driving, that's the last bit of my independence.
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_00: Now, do you think it's as serious as if you were living in an apartment by yourself, but now you're at the park where they have transportation?
• 4:57
  SPEAKER_00: Do you think that that makes a difference for you?
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I probably would never give it up if I was on my own.
• 5:05
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, but now you feel like I can because I still have their transportation.
• 5:09
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 5:09
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, cool.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_01: Even though it's within a certain range.
• 5:12
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 5:13
  SPEAKER_01: But um, no, I just see that I could be a danger.
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_01: Plus, I don't like driving at night.
• 5:19
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm still driving, but it's always on my mind because some people have said I wished I hadn't.
• 5:27
  SPEAKER_01: Some are glad they did because they save a lot of money.
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_01: But anyway, back to looking at places.
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 5:33
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 5:33
  SPEAKER_01: So we looked at about at least four or five, maybe.
• 5:36
  SPEAKER_00: I think so.
• 5:37
  SPEAKER_00: We went to uh we went to a couple in we went to one in Scottsdale, we went to a couple in uh Chandler.
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_00: And then we landed on where you live now, which is the park at Copper Creek.
• 5:51
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 5:52
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_00: And it was listening, it was really, really listening to what you wanted.
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_00: I had to really, and I do this with all my clients, is really try to understand what is that one community that you would like that you would feel comfortable in.
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_01: And I really didn't even know at the time through you talking, asking me what do you want, what do you like?
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_01: Yep.
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_01: Because I never thought I'd be in an independent career.
• 6:18
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 6:19
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 6:19
  SPEAKER_01: So, but actually through you asking me what I wanted.
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_00: It helped.
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_01: It helped a lot.
• 6:25
  SPEAKER_01: It helped you realize.
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_01: Because I didn't I hadn't even thought about it.
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_01: I I was just thinking a place to eat and a roof over my head.
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 6:34
  SPEAKER_01: So we can I talk about Yes, absolutely.
• 6:37
  SPEAKER_01: Please, please, yeah.
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_01: So when we got some of the other places that we went to were very nice.
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but it didn't hit me, this is not where I want to live.
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_00: It's it's I always say it's kind of that gut feel.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_00: It's a feeling in your gut.
• 6:53
  SPEAKER_00: Like when you walk in, you almost know.
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_01: And that was that way.
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_01: Because as soon as I saw their dining room, yeah, that had chandeliers.
• 7:01
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_01: And we were gonna have brunch there, and it was a special brunch.
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_01: It was champagne brunch, mimosas, and and well, that's all you had to say.
• 7:10
  SPEAKER_01: Mimosas, I'm in.
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_01: Uh and their food was delicious.
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_01: And it was, it struck me like a country club.
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_01: Not that I ever belonged to a country club, but it was lovely.
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_00: So it meant And you know, it was very similar in pricing to all the others that we had seen.
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
• 7:29
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_01: And I did select a studio.
• 7:32
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 7:32
  SPEAKER_01: Because at that time I figured, well, I can live a little less expensive and still travel, which I wanted to do traveling.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_01: Little did I know that I'd have a few problems here and there.
• 7:45
  SPEAKER_01: So I don't even feel like traveling now.
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_01: But I have to say the one thing that I've just come to realization with I belong where I am in independent living.
• 7:57
  SPEAKER_01: That's great.
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_01: And I never thought I'd say that.
• 7:59
  SPEAKER_01: Wow.
• 8:00
  SPEAKER_01: And the reason I belong there is when you get older, you don't feel like going out as much.
• 8:06
  SPEAKER_01: I didn't feel like driving.
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_01: I always have people around.
• 8:10
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 8:11
  SPEAKER_01: Which is good psychologically.
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_01: Yep.
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_01: Because I was depressed when you met me.
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_01: I know you were.
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_01: Very depressed because I didn't want to go out.
• 8:19
  SPEAKER_01: Knew people.
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_01: I had moved five times already.
• 8:22
  SPEAKER_01: You had.
• 8:23
  SPEAKER_01: Being in Arizona.
• 8:25
  SPEAKER_01: So just you taking me to these places was a pleasure.
• 8:28
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 8:29
  SPEAKER_01: I don't even know if you know that, but I do know that.
• 8:32
  SPEAKER_01: I didn't have to drive.
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_01: Because I don't know where anything is because I have no sense of direction.
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 8:37
  SPEAKER_00: So that was also Plus, it was so much fun getting to know who you were, right?
• 8:40
  SPEAKER_00: And what you've done in your life.
• 8:42
  SPEAKER_00: That's one of my favorite things to do.
• 8:44
  SPEAKER_00: And I think you've had like three careers, haven't you?
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_00: Or two careers?
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_01: Well, when I was 65, I still was working at my full-time job.
• 8:53
  SPEAKER_01: And then I decided I've always wanted to be either a masseuse, massage person, uh-huh, um, an esthetician.
• 9:01
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_01: So I chose esthetician because that's less on your feet.
• 9:05
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 9:05
  SPEAKER_01: So I went back to school for a year while I was working.
• 9:09
  SPEAKER_01: So when I did retire, I went into that doing facials.
• 9:14
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 9:14
  SPEAKER_01: So I loved it.
• 9:15
  SPEAKER_01: You know, it was absolutely wonderful.
• 9:17
  SPEAKER_01: Still had something to do to occupy my time.
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 9:21
  SPEAKER_01: So, but I left that when I moved here to Arizona.
• 9:24
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 9:24
  SPEAKER_01: So that's why meeting people I wasn't going around to apartments.
• 9:29
  SPEAKER_01: I wasn't swimming and doing the things I used to do.
• 9:33
  SPEAKER_01: So now being at the park, there's always people to talk to.
• 9:37
  SPEAKER_01: And it's important when you find a place that the people can still talk.
• 9:42
  SPEAKER_01: Yep.
• 9:43
  SPEAKER_01: You know, that they're friendly.
• 9:45
  SPEAKER_00: It's independent living.
• 9:46
  SPEAKER_01: It's yeah, it's uh But some they're older.
• 9:50
  SPEAKER_01: Older, yeah.
• 9:50
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, absolutely.
• 9:51
  SPEAKER_01: Independent living.
• 9:52
  SPEAKER_01: Even though where I am, I'd say the average age age, I'm not sure, but I think it's in the 80s.
• 9:58
  SPEAKER_00: I think it's 84.
• 10:00
  SPEAKER_00: 83, maybe 83, 84.
• 10:02
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 10:03
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, then I'm right in there.
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you are.
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you are.
• 10:05
  SPEAKER_00: You're right in there.
• 10:06
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 10:06
  SPEAKER_01: So they have many games that you can play.
• 10:10
  SPEAKER_01: They do a lot of activities.
• 10:11
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, all these things are important that you look into when you want to go what you like to do.
• 10:16
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 10:16
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 10:17
  SPEAKER_00: And they are friendly there.
• 10:18
  SPEAKER_01: They they're very welcoming there.
• 10:20
  SPEAKER_01: Very welcoming.
• 10:21
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 10:21
  SPEAKER_01: Which is one of the things I noticed more than anything else.
• 10:25
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 10:25
  SPEAKER_01: Plus, the food is good, as I've said that before.
• 10:27
  SPEAKER_00: The food is really good.
• 10:29
  SPEAKER_00: Oh.
• 10:30
  SPEAKER_00: And again, I want to emphasize it was not much of a difference in price than the other places we were going to.
• 10:37
  SPEAKER_00: And there, they don't offer three meals a day every day of the week.
• 10:41
  SPEAKER_00: They offer a breakfast every single day, right?
• 10:45
  SPEAKER_00: And then they offer m dinners between mud five dinners, Monday through Friday.
• 10:50
  SPEAKER_01: But they have a cafe.
• 10:51
  SPEAKER_01: And then they have a cafe.
• 10:53
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 10:53
  SPEAKER_01: And a bistro, right.
• 10:54
  SPEAKER_01: And you can go there from eleven to four.
• 10:56
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 10:56
  SPEAKER_01: Every day.
• 10:57
  SPEAKER_01: Every day.
• 10:58
  SPEAKER_01: And have they have a menu there, too.
• 11:00
  SPEAKER_00: Right, right.
• 11:01
  SPEAKER_01: So you you never go hungry.
• 11:03
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 11:03
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 11:04
  SPEAKER_00: But it's not like the traditional three meals a day, here's your breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
• 11:08
  SPEAKER_00: You're not always socializing at a meal.
• 11:11
  SPEAKER_01: And I really thought, well, only five uh in the beginning, like five meals.
• 11:16
  SPEAKER_01: What about the weekends?
• 11:17
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 11:17
  SPEAKER_01: Well, you almost need the weekend to either go out, you know, or to cook if you want.
• 11:24
  SPEAKER_01: I used to love to cook.
• 11:24
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 11:25
  SPEAKER_00: And you have a full kitchen in your studio.
• 11:28
  SPEAKER_01: I have cooked twice since I've been there.
• 11:31
  SPEAKER_00: I always they always put these full kitchens in, and everybody wants them, but how many people actually use their kitchens?
• 11:38
  SPEAKER_01: I have a microwave.
• 11:39
  SPEAKER_01: I have uh an oven.
• 11:41
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 11:41
  SPEAKER_01: I have a refrigerator, and they look real nice in my apartment.
• 11:45
  SPEAKER_01: Do I use them?
• 11:46
  SPEAKER_01: Not much.
• 11:47
  SPEAKER_01: Refrigeration, I do.
• 11:49
  SPEAKER_00: Sure.
• 11:50
  SPEAKER_01: I just I don't feel like it.
• 11:51
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 11:52
  SPEAKER_01: In a way, it's wonderful to be free.
• 11:54
  SPEAKER_01: That's how I look at it.
• 11:55
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, yes.
• 11:56
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 11:57
  SPEAKER_01: Free now.
• 11:57
  SPEAKER_01: I'm cook when I want.
• 12:00
  SPEAKER_01: And they also have cleaning once a week.
• 12:03
  SPEAKER_00: Once a week, they do your cleaning.
• 12:04
  SPEAKER_01: Which is that never was one of my favorite things to know, right?
• 12:08
  SPEAKER_01: But I would do it.
• 12:09
  SPEAKER_01: That's another way I saw that I was getting older.
• 12:12
  SPEAKER_01: I couldn't do my floors anymore.
• 12:14
  SPEAKER_01: I couldn't vacuum.
• 12:15
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 12:15
  SPEAKER_01: The biggest thing, I couldn't change my linens because I couldn't lift up the mattress.
• 12:19
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 12:20
  SPEAKER_01: So if I have nothing else, just change my linens, I'm happy.
• 12:23
  SPEAKER_01: You don't even have to.
• 12:24
  SPEAKER_00: And they do that.
• 12:25
  SPEAKER_00: You you wash them, you leave them out, and they they change it.
• 12:28
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 12:28
  SPEAKER_01: So it's everything that that I want.
• 12:30
  SPEAKER_01: I am totally independent.
• 12:32
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 12:33
  SPEAKER_00: So I would say you're even more independent than you were when I found you at your apartment.
• 12:39
  SPEAKER_01: Well, you know, that's really the truth.
• 12:40
  SPEAKER_00: Is it true?
• 12:41
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 12:41
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 12:42
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, like sometimes it hurts me to say that, but it's it's absolutely true.
• 12:46
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 12:47
  SPEAKER_01: I'm socializing more.
• 12:48
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 12:49
  SPEAKER_01: I'm eating more.
• 12:52
  SPEAKER_01: You don't look like it.
• 12:53
  SPEAKER_01: You look great.
• 12:54
  SPEAKER_01: They serve dessert every night.
• 12:57
  SPEAKER_01: When I cooked, I never made dessert every night.
• 12:59
  SPEAKER_01: Now we get dessert every night.
• 13:01
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 13:01
  SPEAKER_01: And it's so hard to say, no, I don't care for anything.
• 13:04
  SPEAKER_01: So I take it.
• 13:05
  SPEAKER_01: A lot of times I'll take it home, go up to watch a movie late at night, and that's when I eat.
• 13:11
  SPEAKER_01: And the other thing is the food quantity is so big.
• 13:15
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 13:16
  SPEAKER_01: They almost encourage you to take it home.
• 13:18
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 13:19
  SPEAKER_00: Remember, I remember when we were at the brunch, and I've gone to several others, but they brought out big boxes, right, for everybody to take home as much as they wanted to take home, which is, you know, unbelievable.
• 13:32
  SPEAKER_00: Unbelievable, really.
• 13:33
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 13:34
  SPEAKER_00: A whole meal, you know, you could take home.
• 13:36
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 13:36
  SPEAKER_01: And there's sometimes I don't feel like eating, so I'll box it up.
• 13:40
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 13:40
  SPEAKER_01: And bring it home.
• 13:41
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 13:42
  SPEAKER_01: Excuse me.
• 13:42
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 13:43
  SPEAKER_01: So um independent living is not what I thought it was.
• 13:48
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 13:48
  SPEAKER_01: I own it.
• 13:49
  SPEAKER_00: It's not what most people think it is.
• 13:50
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 13:51
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 13:51
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 13:52
  SPEAKER_00: It's usually I'll I'll check with somebody maybe a month or so, maybe even three months later.
• 13:59
  SPEAKER_00: Like I think I saw you four or five months later.
• 14:02
  SPEAKER_00: You looked 10 years younger.
• 14:04
  SPEAKER_00: You still look younger than when we first.
• 14:09
  SPEAKER_00: But you do.
• 14:10
  SPEAKER_00: It's always great to hear.
• 14:12
  SPEAKER_00: But you know, when you said you were depressed, which I always pick up on, almost every single one of my clients is.
• 14:18
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, very much so.
• 14:19
  SPEAKER_00: Almost every single one.
• 14:20
  SPEAKER_01: I hated to admit it, but it's right.
• 14:22
  SPEAKER_00: And it's hard to say that, right.
• 14:24
  SPEAKER_00: But you it creeps up on you, right?
• 14:26
  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't, you don't notice it.
• 14:28
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, I was there five years and it had been happening every year.
• 14:31
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 14:32
  SPEAKER_01: And I was moving every year.
• 14:33
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 14:34
  SPEAKER_00: So Were you moving because of the price of the rent was going up, or what was making you move?
• 14:40
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe just trying to get comfortable again?
• 14:42
  SPEAKER_01: No, the first couple of years I had a place where uh I had a condo, which was the two bedroom condo.
• 14:50
  SPEAKER_01: Uh price was right because the people were snowbirds or something.
• 14:54
  SPEAKER_00: Oh yeah, sure.
• 14:55
  SPEAKER_01: They They were only there three months out of the year.
• 15:01
  SPEAKER_01: So for two years I rent two and a half.
• 15:03
  SPEAKER_01: I rented from them.
• 15:05
  SPEAKER_01: Sure.
• 15:06
  SPEAKER_01: Um but then I'd have to put my stuff in storage.
• 15:10
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 15:10
  SPEAKER_01: Find another I did that for two and a half years.
• 15:12
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, and so you would find another place for those three months that they had.
• 15:15
  SPEAKER_01: And then I either wanted to be closer to my children, whatever.
• 15:18
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 15:19
  SPEAKER_01: So I'd move.
• 15:20
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 15:20
  SPEAKER_01: Which now that I'm at the park at Copper Creek.
• 15:23
  SPEAKER_00: Uh-huh.
• 15:24
  SPEAKER_01: Um because I I this is my home.
• 15:28
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 15:28
  SPEAKER_01: This I'm never leaving again.
• 15:31
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 15:32
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 15:32
  SPEAKER_01: Although I'm a little bit further than I wanted to be from my children, but that might be a good thing.
• 15:40
  SPEAKER_01: And I think a lot of the people will know what I mean.
• 15:43
  SPEAKER_01: That might be a good thing.
• 15:44
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 15:44
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 15:45
  SPEAKER_00: Well, you have your own friends now.
• 15:47
  SPEAKER_00: I have my own friends.
• 15:48
  SPEAKER_00: You have your own life now.
• 15:50
  SPEAKER_00: Really good point.
• 15:51
  SPEAKER_00: You have your own life.
• 15:52
  SPEAKER_00: I have my own life now.
• 15:53
  SPEAKER_00: It's not circling around the kids and even speaking about I have my own life, I met a gentleman there after the first year.
• 16:02
  SPEAKER_00: Great.
• 16:03
  SPEAKER_01: He came over and sat with me at the table in the dining room, which is a wonderful way to make it.
• 16:08
  SPEAKER_00: To get to know people.
• 16:09
  SPEAKER_00: Sure.
• 16:09
  SPEAKER_01: Um.
• 16:10
  SPEAKER_01: And he sat at the table.
• 16:11
  SPEAKER_01: We've been dating now for a year and a half.
• 16:14
  SPEAKER_01: It's fantastic.
• 16:14
  SPEAKER_01: So it's something else that I never even anticipated.
• 16:19
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 16:20
  SPEAKER_01: Certainly wasn't looking for it and met a wonderful person.
• 16:24
  SPEAKER_01: Wow.
• 16:25
  SPEAKER_01: Everybody knows him.
• 16:26
  SPEAKER_01: He's kind, he's sweet, and all that.
• 16:28
  SPEAKER_00: That's so nice.
• 16:29
  SPEAKER_00: That is so nice.
• 16:30
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 16:31
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 16:31
  SPEAKER_01: It really is.
• 16:32
  SPEAKER_01: Because when I left, I had lost my husband.
• 16:36
  SPEAKER_01: He was my ex, but we were very good friends.
• 16:38
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 16:39
  SPEAKER_01: And he passed away.
• 16:40
  SPEAKER_00: In North Carolina when you left there.
• 16:42
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 16:43
  SPEAKER_01: So uh this this was kind of like a blessing in disguise.
• 16:48
  SPEAKER_01: Somebody to talk to.
• 16:49
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 16:50
  SPEAKER_01: Somebody to share our lives about our children.
• 16:53
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 16:54
  SPEAKER_01: Which is really what life when you get older is all about.
• 16:57
  SPEAKER_01: Your grandchildren.
• 16:58
  SPEAKER_00: Who your grandchildren mostly and friends.
• 17:00
  SPEAKER_01: And friends.
• 17:01
  SPEAKER_01: So independent living is not what I thought it would be.
• 17:06
  SPEAKER_01: I've met a gentleman.
• 17:08
  SPEAKER_01: I've met friends.
• 17:09
  SPEAKER_01: I'm eating good.
• 17:10
  SPEAKER_01: I didn't even eat that good by myself.
• 17:14
  SPEAKER_00: That's really a good point.
• 17:15
  SPEAKER_00: That's a really, really good point.
• 17:16
  SPEAKER_00: You weren't eating well.
• 17:18
  SPEAKER_00: Now, since it's included with all everything else, I make sure I eat.
• 17:24
  SPEAKER_00: How is your budgeting?
• 17:25
  SPEAKER_00: This is what I always say is that it's include it's all inclusive.
• 17:28
  SPEAKER_00: So you've got your rent, you've got your utilities, your Wi-Fi, your cable, meals, transportation, housekeeping, everything included, plus activities, plus parties and things that they put on.
• 17:40
  SPEAKER_01: Plus I have PT on site.
• 17:42
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, yeah.
• 17:42
  SPEAKER_01: PT on site.
• 17:43
  SPEAKER_01: That most insurance companies will cover it.
• 17:46
  SPEAKER_01: Mine does.
• 17:47
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 17:47
  SPEAKER_01: So I go there twice a week.
• 17:49
  SPEAKER_00: Great.
• 17:50
  SPEAKER_01: Because one of the things as you get older, you're off balance.
• 17:56
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 17:56
  SPEAKER_01: You lose your balance.
• 17:57
  SPEAKER_01: You lose your balance.
• 17:59
  SPEAKER_00: Here's a gymnast talking to us about our balance, right?
• 18:01
  SPEAKER_01: Killing me.
• 18:02
  SPEAKER_01: Killing me that I because I have fallen.
• 18:05
  SPEAKER_01: That's one of the reasons I'd go to the hospital when I lived by myself.
• 18:08
  SPEAKER_01: Oh.
• 18:09
  SPEAKER_01: Because I'd fall and I would have a big cut or whatever.
• 18:12
  SPEAKER_01: So I'd drive myself at 12 or 1 o'clock in the morning to the hospital and then drive home.
• 18:19
  SPEAKER_00: I don't think you're unusual.
• 18:20
  SPEAKER_00: I bet a lot of people do that.
• 18:21
  SPEAKER_01: Oh.
• 18:22
  SPEAKER_00: I bet a lot of people do it.
• 18:24
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, it's terrible.
• 18:25
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 18:25
  SPEAKER_01: Because I will not call an ambulance.
• 18:27
  SPEAKER_01: No, right?
• 18:28
  SPEAKER_01: They won't.
• 18:28
  SPEAKER_01: Because it wakes everybody up and I hate that.
• 18:30
  SPEAKER_01: And I do like to sleep.
• 18:33
  SPEAKER_01: So they've got the PT and OT, occupational therapy.
• 18:38
  SPEAKER_01: Uh and as you get older, you get arthritis, and I'm Do you do their exercises?
• 18:45
  SPEAKER_00: Do you go to their exercise classes or do they have those?
• 18:48
  SPEAKER_01: No, I haven't been because they're usually at 10 o'clock in the morning and I'm sleeping beyond 10 o'clock.
• 18:55
  SPEAKER_00: You're a late sleeper.
• 18:57
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, I love to sleep.
• 18:58
  SPEAKER_01: I can stay up all night, but I love to sleep.
• 19:00
  SPEAKER_01: You're a night owl.
• 19:01
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 19:01
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 19:02
  SPEAKER_01: So, but they have those facilities, which is great.
• 19:04
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 19:05
  SPEAKER_01: Because I've just re-upped my time at PT.
• 19:09
  SPEAKER_01: At PT.
• 19:10
  SPEAKER_01: Because I want to be able to, you have to walk.
• 19:12
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 19:13
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm always afraid that I'll because my sister, I lost my sister because she was not unable to, she was in bed for three years.
• 19:21
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, wow.
• 19:21
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm always afraid that if I don't walk, I'm going to lose that ability.
• 19:26
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 19:26
  SPEAKER_01: But I don't do enough of it.
• 19:27
  SPEAKER_01: So there's PT to encourage me to do that.
• 19:31
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 19:32
  SPEAKER_01: Good.
• 19:32
  SPEAKER_01: PT, OT.
• 19:35
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, it's everything that you need.
• 19:37
  SPEAKER_01: That's why I went, I belong where I am.
• 19:40
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 19:40
  SPEAKER_01: Absolutely belong.
• 19:41
  SPEAKER_00: And and you have a sense of belonging there.
• 19:45
  SPEAKER_00: A huge sense of belonging.
• 19:46
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
• 19:47
  SPEAKER_00: So it's the right people, right?
• 19:48
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm always telling people what we do, because we know all the communities.
• 19:53
  SPEAKER_00: I do, my other advisors do.
• 19:56
  SPEAKER_00: We do a matchmake.
• 19:58
  SPEAKER_00: We're constantly trying to match you to a community that fits well.
• 20:03
  SPEAKER_00: And I remember the bell went off in my brain when you said you loved to go have a brunch with a carving station and all of that, right?
• 20:13
  SPEAKER_00: And it just so happened.
• 20:15
  SPEAKER_00: And I thought, ooh, Kelch uh park at Copper Creek has brunches.
• 20:19
  SPEAKER_01: You knew it.
• 20:20
  SPEAKER_01: I knew it.
• 20:21
  SPEAKER_01: You saved it for last.
• 20:22
  SPEAKER_01: I did.
• 20:23
  SPEAKER_01: Which absolutely was like when I walked in, it was just, I I couldn't believe it.
• 20:29
  SPEAKER_00: Like, is this for real?
• 20:31
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, this.
• 20:33
  SPEAKER_01: And then all the people were friendly too.
• 20:35
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, oh yeah.
• 20:35
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 20:36
  SPEAKER_01: So I mean, you do know what you're doing.
• 20:39
  SPEAKER_01: I have to say that.
• 20:40
  SPEAKER_01: You didn't tell me that I might also meet somebody.
• 20:43
  SPEAKER_00: No, I didn't know that.
• 20:44
  SPEAKER_01: I didn't talk about matchmaking.
• 20:46
  SPEAKER_01: You even did that.
• 20:47
  SPEAKER_01: I even did that.
• 20:49
  SPEAKER_01: So I know.
• 20:50
  SPEAKER_01: Well, um, it was it's most of the people that are thinking about I didn't even think about it, um, independent care are concerned about they're in a big home.
• 21:02
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 21:03
  SPEAKER_01: And they figured, oh, I've got too much stuff.
• 21:06
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 21:07
  SPEAKER_01: And they don't want to downsize.
• 21:09
  SPEAKER_01: They say they want to downsize.
• 21:10
  SPEAKER_01: But they really don't.
• 21:11
  SPEAKER_01: They don't.
• 21:11
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 21:12
  SPEAKER_01: You know, they're coming from 3,000 square feet.
• 21:14
  SPEAKER_01: I just met a gentleman and woman husband and wife.
• 21:18
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 21:18
  SPEAKER_01: And they went, I just don't know if I can give up my 3,000 square feet.
• 21:23
  SPEAKER_01: What do you need it for that's to clean, take care of?
• 21:26
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 21:26
  SPEAKER_01: So that's their big concern.
• 21:28
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 21:29
  SPEAKER_01: Um, can they adjust?
• 21:31
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm in the smallest place there is.
• 21:33
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 21:33
  SPEAKER_00: And I we're going to pause for just a second because this is too good.
• 21:38
  SPEAKER_00: And we've got to come back.
• 21:39
  SPEAKER_00: We're going to have Connie back for our next um uh podcast.
• 21:44
  SPEAKER_00: So I want to thank you for joining us, Connie.
• 21:46
  SPEAKER_00: We're going to keep going, but we're going to just pause here for a minute.
• 21:50
  SPEAKER_00: And Connie is at the park at Copper Creek in Chandler, one of my favorite places for independent living.
• 21:55
  SPEAKER_00: And I am with um my I own and am the founder of A Place for Seniors.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_00: And you can always go to our website.
• 22:02
  SPEAKER_00: We have seminars that you can go to the event page.
• 22:06
  SPEAKER_00: And if you go to a placeforseniors.org and then look for the event page, you can register for one of our seminars where we talk about this in more depth.
• 22:16
  SPEAKER_00: And I look forward to seeing you on the next podcast.
• 22:20
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you.