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Transcript

Cracking the Connection Code · In 9 Minutes

• 0:04
  Speaker 1: If you had a dollar for every time you heard yourself or someone else say I don't have time for that, you'd probably be rich.
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: I know life can feel like a circus, especially when you're trying to juggle it all, and I know what it's like to be pulled in a million different directions and to feel like there's never enough time to do all the things for all the people.
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: But I really believe that what you want is possible.
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: It just requires some decision making and intentional action.
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: You truly can't make time or find time.
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: You have to set it apart, and I'll show you how to make big moves and take game changing action nine minutes at a time.
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: I'm Jennifer Seiss.
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: I love helping impact-oriented women run their home life and business, gain traction in their day to day and have more time with the people they love the most.
• 0:51
  Speaker 1: My heart is to share what I've learned along the way and help you get more of what you want out of your life and work.
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: Every episode is designed to get you on your way to a quick win.
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: So grab your favorite beverage, pull up a chair and let's start making more of your time.
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: Hey there, and welcome to episode seven of the In Nine Minutes podcast.
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: I'm Jennifer Seiss and I can't wait to connect with you for the next nine minutes.
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: So here is a phrase to live by Connection fuels every area of your life.
• 1:23
  Speaker 1: When you are intentional about connection, it can change the game for you.
• 1:26
  Speaker 1: It can literally move the needle in every area of your life, and this is something I'll touch on on the show over and over, because it is that important.
• 1:33
  Speaker 1: To fuel means to supply or power, and as people, we are hardwired for connection.
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: Research actually shows that our need for connection may be as fundamental as our need for food and water.
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: If you feel like you're spinning your wheels and you aren't really moving forward and you're often wondering if you're doing enough in any area of your life or business, prioritizing connection will help you take action.
• 2:02
  Speaker 1: It will literally move you through the wandering and the wandering to action, and action ultimately leads to the results in your life.
• 2:11
  Speaker 1: If you own a business listen to this 90% of business is relationships, and recognizing the value of that and cultivating relationships is vital, and this is a million percent true for your life too.
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: Building connection can help you calm your central nervous system, improve your self-esteem, give you confidence, boost your immune system, reduce stress and anxiety, and the list goes on and on.
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: Now, human connection is a deep bond that's formed between people when they feel seen and valued, and during an authentic human connection people exchange positive energy with one another.
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: And human connection helps people feel heard and understood and gives you a sense of belonging, and belonging leads to significant growth.
• 3:03
  Speaker 1: When you feel a sense of belonging, you are primed for growth, and if you're in the resource lounge, you know that we stand firmly on the belief that belonging is vital and it is vital to your growth.
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: So when it comes to connection, this applies to everyone.
• 3:22
  Speaker 1: Connection starts and builds one intentional decision at a time, like laying a foundation brick by brick.
• 3:27
  Speaker 1: And when you lay a foundation brick by brick, it's one intentional placement of a brick at a time.
• 3:32
  Speaker 1: It starts small.
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: You don't throw a big pile of bricks on the ground and hope they all fall into place.
• 3:37
  Speaker 1: And after you've started building the foundation, it's likely that you're going to have to adjust the bricks and you're going to have to make adjustments in relationships as well.
• 3:49
  Speaker 1: I have seen the fruit of intentional connection in my own life in so many ways and I know that it's the result of making decisions in advance and setting the intention to cultivate connection consistently over time, and for me, this especially applies with my husband and my kids.
• 4:04
  Speaker 1: Intentional connection is one of the most valuable things you can invest in and it will help you move the needle in every relationship in your life and business.
• 4:17
  Speaker 1: I know that so many of you feel like you're swimming upstream and you're spending so much time on the hamster wheel, and I talk to people all of the time who feel like they can't get where they want to go because they want it all and they don't feel like it's possible to Love on your kids and connect with their husband and be a good mom and be a good wife and be a good sister and be a good friend, and they don't even think they have time to go to lunch with their friends, let alone build more relationships.
• 4:46
  Speaker 1: But I am here to tell you that this is possible for you.
• 4:49
  Speaker 1: You just have to make some intentional decisions and take action towards it.
• 4:54
  Speaker 1: It's easy to think that some people are just better at building connection or better at finding balance, or they just have less to do, but that is really not true.
• 5:03
  Speaker 1: It's really just an excuse that people use not to pursue it Choosing to pursue more intentional connection will be a defining moment in your life, and I'm going to talk more on defining moments in another episode, but for right now, choosing to pursue more intentional connection will be a defining moment in your life.
• 5:24
  Speaker 1: Dennis Waitley, the author of psychology of winning, says you move in the direction of your most dominant thoughts, and what you think about is the very thing you do or don't do.
• 5:33
  Speaker 1: Like, people who think about falling all the time are people that are more likely to fall, and if you think you can't do this, it's very likely that you won't do it.
• 5:43
  Speaker 1: As People, we are hardwired for connection and you are literally made for this.
• 5:50
  Speaker 1: This is such great news.
• 5:52
  Speaker 1: You are literally made for connection.
• 5:55
  Speaker 1: Connection will help you cultivate rich, deep relationships with your family and friends that stand the test of time, and leaning into connection will help you get to know your prospects and clients and and anyone you meet in a whole new way, and it will help you serve people better with a lot with a long lasting impact.
• 6:16
  Speaker 1: So how do you do it?
• 6:19
  Speaker 1: The sky is really the limit and there's no perfect formula, but, as I said it before, it starts with a decision and Setting apart time to take intentional action Now.
• 6:32
  Speaker 1: Did you know that you can build Intentional connection with your kids in just nine minutes a day?
• 6:38
  Speaker 1: Studies show that when you are intentional about the first three minutes when they wake up, three minutes when you reconnect with them at the end of the day after daycare or school or work, and the three minutes before they go to bed, when you're intentional about those three pieces of time that add up to nine minutes, you can build intentional connection, and it's actually more productive connection than Interrupted connection.
• 7:08
  Speaker 1: So here's some more ideas for building connection in nine minutes of focus bursts.
• 7:15
  Speaker 1: It might seem challenging, but with with focused effort, you can make meaningful progress, which is really important.
• 7:22
  Speaker 1: And it's gonna take practice and that is okay.
• 7:26
  Speaker 1: So one way to do it is to have daily check-ins, even if you have to put a reminder on your phone to do this.
• 7:34
  Speaker 1: Take a few minutes each day to check in with everybody in your family, ask other day went, ask them questions that go beyond their day to day, lean in and listen and show genuine interest in what's happening in their life and what happened in their day, and this can really help them feel that piece of being seen and heard.
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: Another way to do this is to express gratitude.
• 7:56
  Speaker 1: In just a couple of minutes, you can Express real, genuine gratitude and tell someone something specific that you appreciate about them, something that they did that made a positive impact on you.
• 8:09
  Speaker 1: And when you practice this, it will cultivate a sense of appreciation and it will strengthen bonds.
• 8:16
  Speaker 1: And you can also teach your kids to do this too.
• 8:20
  Speaker 1: They can do it with their siblings, with anyone in your family, with people in their class, and this is a really good tool to teach your kids.
• 8:29
  Speaker 1: Okay, share a meal Sounds basic, right, but when you share a meal and you ask open-ended questions that lead to deeper discussions, like what made you smile today, what was hard for you today, and you kind of create this atmosphere of connection during meal times, you are going to build fortified connection.
• 8:50
  Speaker 1: And you can also build connection over a meal in the car.
• 8:53
  Speaker 1: Turn off the music, put your phones away and connect.
• 8:56
  Speaker 1: Another thing is share acts of kindness together.
• 9:00
  Speaker 1: Take a couple of minutes to perform small acts of kindness for people in your family, for your neighbors, and do something together.
• 9:09
  Speaker 1: Invite people into this and you can make it really quick.
• 9:12
  Speaker 1: It doesn't take long to put a note on your neighbor's door.
• 9:15
  Speaker 1: It doesn't take long to deliver some banana bread that you made yesterday or different things like that, and the list goes on and on.
• 9:25
  Speaker 1: Active listening is huge and whenever you engage in a conversation, practice active listening.
• 9:30
  Speaker 1: Focus on what the person you are listening to is saying, keep eye contact, show genuine interest, ask questions, and this actually will create deeper connection because it demonstrates you are being fully present and attentive.
• 9:46
  Speaker 1: One of the things we always did was pizza on Sunday nights Frozen pizza, homemade pizza, pizza delivery, you name it.
• 9:54
  Speaker 1: But the kids knew we were having pizza night on Sundays and my husband and I even kept it going when they went off to college, and our boys kept the tradition going too and they had pizza night as well, and we are going on 20 years of pizza nights.
• 10:06
  Speaker 1: But it was a great way to go over our schedule for the week as the boys got busier, we made plans, we played games, we asked questions and we really connected over that time, especially when we were going in a bunch of different directions.
• 10:19
  Speaker 1: So if you want more moments of connection, you can make an intentional decision towards it and take action.
• 10:29
  Speaker 1: I'm going to share more ideas on how to build connection over time on the show and I share them on Instagram as well.
• 10:36
  Speaker 1: So check that out and, just when you're together, try to be more present and focused when it comes to your clients, if you own a business, set apart time to check in with them, help them feel seen, heard and understood and lean into that relationship with them.
• 10:52
  Speaker 1: So I want to challenge you today to make a decision to set apart time to build more intentional connection and, as I mentioned, it doesn't need to take all day.
• 11:03
  Speaker 1: Nine minutes of focused, intentional connection can have a greater impact than five to 10 hours, even of interrupted connection.
• 11:09
  Speaker 1: So who do you want to build deeper connection with?
• 11:12
  Speaker 1: Think about it and then take action towards it.
• 11:14
  Speaker 1: Reach out to them today.
• 11:16
  Speaker 1: Set apart the time today and watch what happens.
• 11:19
  Speaker 1: And, as always, here's to more intentional connection and less grind.
• 11:23
  Speaker 1: Nine minutes at a time.
• 11:25
  Speaker 1: Thanks so much for listening today.
• 11:31
  Speaker 1: Do you have questions you'd love to ask, but don't because you aren't sure who to ask, or you'd rather not let the world in on not having it all together?
• 11:38
  Speaker 1: I get it.
• 11:39
  Speaker 1: I get lots of questions all the time, from parenting to business development, to Bible study, recommendations to the best meal to serve a crowd and even how to navigate hard conversations.
• 11:49
  Speaker 1: My husband and kids call me Google and since I'm a problem solver by nature and love research, it sort of fits.
• 11:56
  Speaker 1: So I am so excited to answer your questions.
• 11:59
  Speaker 1: You can share your questions with me by DMing me on Instagram at Jennifer Seiss, and I'll answer your questions on an upcoming episode.
• 12:07
  Speaker 1: So here's to more intentional connection and less grind, nine minutes at a time.