Latest / It's Mom O'Clock / Would You Parent the Same Way If No One Was Watching?

Transcript

Would You Parent the Same Way If No One Was Watching? · It's Mom O'Clock

• 0:01
  Speaker A: Hello?
• 0:02
  Speaker B: You guys, stop. Is it Mom o' clock yet? I'm going crazy. Heck, yeah. It's Mama clock somewhere.
• 0:15
  Speaker A: Anyway, welcome back to Mama Clark. I hope you had a good fourth with your family. Hot dogs, hamburgers, fireworks, yada, yada, yada.
• 0:21
  Speaker B: That was, like, light years away.
• 0:22
  Speaker A: Also, the fireworks are still going on, so it's like my dog is still spiraling.
• 0:26
  Speaker B: I know.
• 0:27
  Speaker A: Okay, tell me your story.
• 0:29
  Speaker B: I have so many stories.
• 0:31
  Speaker A: But just, you're never late, by the way. And you were late today.
• 0:33
  Speaker B: Well, because I had a crazy morning. But so I. Do you know my truck is still at your house?
• 0:38
  Speaker A: Yes. And our neighbors were mad. Yes.
• 0:41
  Speaker B: I mean, yeah.
• 0:42
  Speaker A: I said, don't worry, like, there's stuff down the shore with no power. Made up a whole story.
• 0:45
  Speaker B: We're very responsible. We do not drink and drive. But that leads us to leaving our car at a lot of places. Mostly your house, but. So I don't have my other truck. So my mom wanted me to leave the car seat truck with her just in case because she wants to do something with the kids today. So I had to take my husband's car to come here. Beamer. But it was behind the fence. We have, like, a fence. So it was behind the fence of our driveway. So.
• 1:15
  Speaker A: Wait, behind the fence?
• 1:16
  Speaker B: Yeah. Because we had a block party, so we needed to move all the cars out of the driveway. So the car, he put it. We never put anything behind the fence.
• 1:21
  Speaker A: In your backyard.
• 1:21
  Speaker B: Yes. Like, in our backyard.
• 1:22
  Speaker A: Walked it to the gate.
• 1:23
  Speaker B: He moved the gate. Actually, I really wanted to phone tap him. I wanted to tell him that as I was taking the BMW out of the fence. Should I do it right now?
• 1:33
  Speaker A: Yes.
• 1:33
  Speaker B: He's gonna die.
• 1:34
  Speaker A: Are you so good?
• 1:36
  Speaker B: I'm scared.
• 1:36
  Speaker A: No, don't laugh, though. Put him on speaker. We're pranking Joey.
• 1:40
  Speaker B: I'm so scared he's gonna. What if he just, like, curses me out?
• 1:44
  Speaker A: Good. Let him.
• 1:44
  Speaker B: Okay.
• 1:47
  Speaker A: Just be like, I gotta go. We're recording. Don't even say sorry. Don't even say we're kidding. Just. Just.
• 1:52
  Speaker B: Okay.
• 1:53
  Speaker A: Put him on speaker.
• 1:54
  Speaker B: I am.
• 1:56
  Speaker A: This is obviously a lie, right?
• 1:58
  Speaker B: Yeah, but there's more to the story. Your call has been forwarded to voicemail. The person you're trying. Why isn't he answering?
• 2:06
  Speaker A: This is an emergency.
• 2:07
  Speaker B: Emergency 911. He's probably in a meeting. He's gonna be so mad at me. I'm scared.
• 2:14
  Speaker A: If he's in a meeting. I'm so afraid of him.
• 2:16
  Speaker B: So scared he's gonna be like, what?
• 2:21
  Speaker A: He's not even gonna say hello.
• 2:24
  Speaker B: Your call has been forwarded to Voices.
• 2:26
  Speaker A: Rude. I just. Like, we're just gonna die in a ditch.
• 2:28
  Speaker B: All right, maybe he'll call back. But anyway. Okay, so I get the car out. I don't hit the fence. Okay, But I had to. I had to pull my truck around to the street so I could get the car out. So I get the car out. I keep the car running. I'm Lee as it is. So I run back in the house to say bye to the kids, grab my bag. I run into. I get back into the car. Okay, are you following?
• 2:49
  Speaker A: Following.
• 2:50
  Speaker B: I'm following. The car is already face forward, so I don't have to turn around, Right? So I. So I'm starting the BMW. I get down the driveway, and all of a sudden I hear, hi, Mom. And I turn around. Joey is in the backseat.
• 3:04
  Speaker A: Did you freak out?
• 3:07
  Speaker B: I was like, what the. He was hiding. He was, like, playing a trick on me.
• 3:11
  Speaker A: Imagine you drove all the way.
• 3:12
  Speaker B: Imagine I drove all the way here and Joey's at the podcast.
• 3:15
  Speaker A: I was like, oh, my God, get
• 3:18
  Speaker B: back in the house. He just. He just snuck out and hopped in because I left the door open. He said, hi, Mom. I go, what, did you freak out? Funny. I was like, how'd you get in here? And he was buckled. He was, like, ready to go. Like, not in a car seat because
• 3:33
  Speaker A: it was just the car.
• 3:34
  Speaker B: It was so fucking funny.
• 3:35
  Speaker A: Oh, my God.
• 3:36
  Speaker B: Anyway, made it here. Here we are.
• 3:38
  Speaker A: Was that your crazy morning?
• 3:40
  Speaker B: Well, there was. There was more to it.
• 3:41
  Speaker A: But you're not gonna tell me?
• 3:43
  Speaker B: No, I can't tell on air.
• 3:44
  Speaker A: Okay. Well, I hope everything's okay. Anyway, That's a funny story. One time I did that with my dad, me and my cousin Gianna, and we actually drove halfway to Canada.
• 3:54
  Speaker B: No way.
• 3:54
  Speaker A: Swear to God.
• 3:55
  Speaker B: You just.
• 3:56
  Speaker A: It's like a. It's a known story to this day.
• 3:57
  Speaker B: Wait, did you know your dad was going to Canada?
• 3:59
  Speaker A: Yes. And we snuck in the trunk, and we stayed quiet halfway there, and then we laughed and he flipped out.
• 4:06
  Speaker B: I mean, Joey could have totally came here.
• 4:08
  Speaker A: Oh, yeah.
• 4:09
  Speaker B: If he didn't say anything. Because I don't. I wasn't even looking. I was rushing.
• 4:11
  Speaker A: Right.
• 4:13
  Speaker B: Canada's crazy.
• 4:14
  Speaker A: Crazy, crazy. Okay, so what are we talking about?
• 4:16
  Speaker B: Okay, today I really wanted Joey to call me back because I wanted to play.
• 4:20
  Speaker A: Well, if he calls mid episode, just answer.
• 4:22
  Speaker B: All right? We're talking about. Would you parent the same way if no one was watching? Okay, so the way you.
• 4:29
  Speaker A: I have to think about this?
• 4:30
  Speaker B: Yeah. Like be honest. If you weren't completely alone with your kids, no grandparents, no friends watching, no other moms at the playground, would you still do the same shit that you do or are you putting on a little performance?
• 4:46
  Speaker A: Okay, I know, I know myself.
• 4:49
  Speaker B: So my thing is, I swear to God, the second that other people are around, like my kids just become like feral. Like they just, they're just act different
• 4:57
  Speaker A: and I'm like, yeah, that's like a known thing though.
• 4:58
  Speaker B: So it's like you're like, you have to be like.
• 5:00
  Speaker A: I swear he doesn't act like this.
• 5:02
  Speaker B: Right? Like he's never done this before.
• 5:04
  Speaker A: He's never done this before. He's a good kid, I promise. I hate even saying like I hate being the mom. Being the mom is like, I swear he's never cried like this before in public.
• 5:13
  Speaker B: That's why, that's why like I'm like,
• 5:15
  Speaker A: like Michael will say it a lot. Yeah, he, he missed his nap. Michael will be like, he hasn't napped.
• 5:19
  Speaker B: He hasn't, he's.
• 5:20
  Speaker A: He's just a toddler. Like he's crying. Cuz he's crying.
• 5:23
  Speaker B: He's so tired. I hate the excuse, but it is such a, it's. I mean it comes out of every mom's mouth. It's like he's never done this before. He's not usually like this.
• 5:31
  Speaker A: Like you're full of.
• 5:32
  Speaker B: Yeah.
• 5:33
  Speaker A: Cuz he does this every minute at home.
• 5:34
  Speaker B: But like I don't know, I just think that sometimes people put on a little performance which you don't need to
• 5:42
  Speaker A: do in front of me if anybody's listening. Cuz I can give a less.
• 5:45
  Speaker B: I mean same.
• 5:46
  Speaker A: But you absolutely feel like you have to put on a front in front of people.
• 5:49
  Speaker B: You think so?
• 5:50
  Speaker A: Yeah, I feel like you.
• 5:52
  Speaker B: Well, you think I put on a, a front.
• 5:54
  Speaker A: Like not, not a different kind of person front. But just like you feel like you need to discipline your kids in front of other people.
• 6:01
  Speaker B: Like you think that I need to act stricter in front of people. Oh, all right.
• 6:06
  Speaker A: Like I could sometimes. I hear you like be like don't do. I'm like em, you wouldn't, you wouldn't say that.
• 6:11
  Speaker B: I could feel that way. Like if I'm trying to follow, like if I was at like my mother in law's house or like someone's house where I'm like a little bit more cautious and nervous. Right?
• 6:19
  Speaker A: That's in front of people. Yeah, in front of people.
• 6:21
  Speaker B: Oh yeah. I would. I walk more on eggshells. Because I'm scared.
• 6:24
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 6:25
  Speaker B: But not. Not because I'm scared of what people think about me. I'm scared of my kids making the mess.
• 6:31
  Speaker A: So, like, let's not forget the point. So the point of this conversation is like, do you feel like you discipline differently in front of other people?
• 6:38
  Speaker B: Yeah, like, I feel like I could. Like, I could if. If I'm like, if my kids are doing something, I'll be like, joey, one, two. And I'll kinda like, what the fuck comes after two? Like, what am I gonna do after two? Like, I don't know, you don't do
• 6:49
  Speaker A: this often, but now you're counting to 1, 2, 3. Because someone else got someone.
• 6:53
  Speaker B: There's a point system. I don't know what I'm doing. Yeah. So I feel like that could happen.
• 6:56
  Speaker A: So you feel like it's in front of people that you feel like you. You don't want to ruin their situation?
• 7:07
  Speaker B: Yeah, I mean, I definitely could feel like that or I could feel, like, pressure. Like, there's a lot of pressure. I think that if you really think about things like social media or like, other parents, like, at the playground, like, you. You do. People try not to compare, but, like, you're always comparing and you're all. And like, when people are like, posting things, like, sometimes I feel like with like, for example, like the elf on the shelf for Christmas. Okay.
• 7:32
  Speaker A: Like, not mid July.
• 7:34
  Speaker B: Yeah, Christmas in July. Like, so if there wasn't such pressure of like the elf on the shelf and other parents, other people talking about it, like, I feel like I wouldn't try to put fucking zip lines through my living room, even though I'm doing it out of, like, the, like, my kids. Like, I want to see the joy in their eyes. But like, come on, it's like, like, do I really have to do this?
• 7:53
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 7:54
  Speaker B: So I am absolutely thinking about either posting that on social media. So, like, people think like, oh, wow, she's a fun mom. Like, something like that. So I. I could see that happening.
• 8:04
  Speaker A: So relating it back to disciplining differently, you feel like other people are making you feel like you should be a more strict mom.
• 8:14
  Speaker B: Right.
• 8:14
  Speaker A: So then you start to count to three. You never count to three. Your son turns around and is like, mom, why are you counting the three? Yeah, because you never do that. So you feel like people put pressure on you to, like, be a different mom. So that's why you discipline differently.
• 8:27
  Speaker B: Yeah, I think in front of some people, I definitely do different things.
• 8:32
  Speaker A: I feel like I don't. Like, I Feel like I discipline, do the same. The same no matter where I am. Like, I just. And I'm. I'm a very like.
• 8:42
  Speaker B: Well, also, like, what discipline are you doing for Gia right now?
• 8:45
  Speaker A: Like, exactly. But I'm saying, like, I'm always being like, don't touch that. That's not yours. Like the first time. Like, I'm not like, let them take it and then let them take it again. And then discipline. Like, I'm always disciplined on the first time anyway.
• 8:59
  Speaker B: Right.
• 9:00
  Speaker A: Whereas, like, I feel like if I were to discipline differently in front of people, like, I would do it the first time.
• 9:05
  Speaker B: Yeah.
• 9:06
  Speaker A: So instead of the second or third. But I feel like I always do it the first time anyway. So I don't know. I just feel like there's no, there's no show I'm trying to put on. But I guess the only thing I could say, say is I feel like maybe I discipline the way the person I'm with disciplines. That would be like the only thing.
• 9:32
  Speaker B: Yeah. I'm not even saying, like, I would discipline different. I'm saying like the pressure of like.
• 9:37
  Speaker A: So if so, let's give an example.
• 9:39
  Speaker B: Yeah.
• 9:39
  Speaker A: If your kids were. Okay, this is like a lame example, but left food on their plate and like, they're old enough to like put it in the sink, right?
• 9:49
  Speaker B: Yep. Which they are.
• 9:51
  Speaker A: At your house, they would just put it in the sink.
• 9:53
  Speaker B: Or they would know. Let's just say, like, at my house, they would leave it on the table. They wouldn't. But if we were down the shore with my family and my sister in law, their kids have to take their. Wash it off and put it in the thing. Let's just say, for example, I would want my kids to do that same behavior.
• 10:06
  Speaker A: So you would say, like, put your.
• 10:08
  Speaker B: Come on. You do this at home every day. Like, do it now.
• 10:12
  Speaker A: Do it. Do you think you would like, say like, joey, go put your dish in the sink. Would you be like, you know better than this. Go put your dish in the sink. As if you do it at home? Like, would you put on that kind of front?
• 10:22
  Speaker B: I mean, I don't know. I think my family, like, they know like what goes down at our house. But like, maybe if we were out, like at a restaurant or something, like, something else, like, that would happen. I'd make it seem like they should know better.
• 10:35
  Speaker A: Yeah, I guess. Like, for example, now that you mentioned restaurant, like dinner, I feel like Geo E eats standing up in my living room and watches tv.
• 10:44
  Speaker B: Right.
• 10:45
  Speaker A: And last night he was kind of like running around the restaurant a little bit, like, crawling on the floor. But I guess you just don't do that in restaurants. Like, it wasn't disciplined differently. You just don't do that in a restaurant.
• 10:54
  Speaker B: Yeah, I mean, it's different. It's just like a different environment. Like, for example, I took the kids to a movie, and we went to five guys after, and I was alone with them. So I took all. I had to take all three of them to the bathroom because they all had to go. And I said, we were in this, like, little stall bathroom at five guys. I go, you guys, don't touch anything.
• 11:16
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 11:16
  Speaker B: Okay. Do you know what Vienna does?
• 11:18
  Speaker A: No.
• 11:19
  Speaker B: Hand to God.
• 11:20
  Speaker A: Stuck her hand on the toilet.
• 11:21
  Speaker B: No. To open the knob, the doorknob. She takes her mouth.
• 11:25
  Speaker A: No.
• 11:25
  Speaker B: And opens it with her mouth.
• 11:27
  Speaker A: That is my biggest fear.
• 11:28
  Speaker B: Like, in what world?
• 11:29
  Speaker A: I wouldn't even touch it with my hands.
• 11:30
  Speaker B: But she would never do that at home. Like, it was just, like, some bizarre thing that came over.
• 11:34
  Speaker A: She was like, these.
• 11:36
  Speaker B: That's disgusting. Like, that's disgusting.
• 11:38
  Speaker A: That's disgusting. Like, I barely touch it with my
• 11:39
  Speaker B: mouth, But I was like, don't touch anything. Then she's like, Like.
• 11:43
  Speaker A: Like, why would you do that? Sometimes it's better, like, to not discipline. Cause then they won't do it.
• 11:47
  Speaker B: No. Like, sometimes they just. They go off the rail. Yeah.
• 11:50
  Speaker A: I'm like, don't throw that at the tv. And he's like, this. Hitting the TV with the remote.
• 11:54
  Speaker B: No. I mean, it's crazy, but there are certain times, like, I don't know. Well, I don't do this, but I think a lot of parents would do.
• 12:04
  Speaker A: Like, you could feel it. I'm like, you don't have to tell him to do that. He's fine. Like, sometimes I catch myself doing that because, like, you don't have to discipline. Cause you think I care? Like, I. Not like when we first met, but I feel like when you first came around me with Gio and the kids, like, this is when we were like, I feel like you were worried about
• 12:22
  Speaker B: my kids feeding him cheetos.
• 12:24
  Speaker A: No. Like, just, like, things like, now you're not. Because, you know, like, you're not. Yeah. Like, I just. Like, it's fine. Like, it's no big deal, but I feel like other parents are like, you care. So I care.
• 12:33
  Speaker B: Right? Like, I mean, I think that. I think that way with, like, screen time and, like, healthy snacks.
• 12:37
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 12:38
  Speaker B: I don't know. Like, now that my kids are out,
• 12:39
  Speaker A: would you discipline too much if they're on Their screen in front of other people?
• 12:43
  Speaker B: No, but I would try to, like, have them not on their screen.
• 12:48
  Speaker A: Yeah. Like, I feel like last night at dinner, he was fine, so, like, he didn't need a screen.
• 12:51
  Speaker B: Yeah.
• 12:52
  Speaker A: But then my niece got a screen, and I was like, fuck it. You want to watch tv?
• 12:57
  Speaker B: I kind of gave it to you. Yeah.
• 12:59
  Speaker A: Like, I was trying not to give it to him.
• 13:00
  Speaker B: So that's what happened down the shore. So, like, my nieces, they don't have, like, iPads. Like, all my kids have iPads, and they usually have their iPad when they're eating or, like, if they're like, whatever.
• 13:12
  Speaker A: So do they watch TV or no?
• 13:14
  Speaker B: Yeah, they watch tv, too. But so, like, Rocco wanted his iPad while he was eating, and, like, no one else has his iPad. So I was like, okay, Rocco, we're gonna put our iPad away. Like, I was trying to just. Because then it comes. Like, it's a snowball effect. Like, one person wants to do this, and then they all want it, and then it's like, everyone's on their screen, which the new Toy Story movie is all about. That. You got to see it. Yeah, it's all about. Because it's about kids not wanting to play with toys anymore and just on their tablets. It makes you want to throw away every tablet.
• 13:40
  Speaker A: What's. His face is probably on his tablet, doesn't want to play with.
• 13:43
  Speaker B: Yeah, it's really sad, actually. But, yeah, it's a good movie. We just saw it.
• 13:46
  Speaker A: I kind of want to go see it.
• 13:47
  Speaker B: Yeah, you should.
• 13:48
  Speaker A: Is. You're too young.
• 13:50
  Speaker B: Yeah.
• 13:51
  Speaker A: Okay.
• 13:52
  Speaker B: I mean, he could.
• 13:52
  Speaker A: So I'll go see Rock was running
• 13:54
  Speaker B: around the movie theater. We were the only ones in there. It was fun.
• 13:56
  Speaker A: Okay, so what else?
• 14:00
  Speaker B: Cleaning before people come over is a big one. Like, I do that. That's like, I'll. If I know that some. If I know I'm having a play date, if I know even you're coming over, like, I will clean, so you're different.
• 14:10
  Speaker A: So I know we're talking about discipline, but we could talk about.
• 14:12
  Speaker B: Like, we're not even talking about this. We're not talking about any type of parenting change.
• 14:15
  Speaker A: Yeah, okay, so. Yeah, that's a good point, too. Like, you. You. So continue.
• 14:19
  Speaker B: I will speed clean if I know we're having a play date. If I know someone's coming over. If I know, literally, if anyone's coming over, I will speed clean, throw the toys. Don't you dare look into that closet. But I will speed clean, and it'll look like it's okay and manageable. I've got everything under control in this household. Right. Not really.
• 14:38
  Speaker A: The closets, like, everything falls down.
• 14:39
  Speaker B: Everything just, like, tumbles down. But another thing is, like, making your kid apologize. Like, even if.
• 14:47
  Speaker A: Like, would you do that normally?
• 14:48
  Speaker B: Yeah, like, so I have a good example of this. Like, my kids were playing with the neighborhood kids, and Joey kicked a ball and hit another kid in. Or he didn't even kick the ball. I don't. Something happened. It was, like, a total accident. And obviously accidents happen, and you say sorry if somebody gets hurt. So I made him apologize, but the mom got so upset that he, like, did it on purpose. They left my house. It was like, a whole big thing.
• 15:16
  Speaker A: Wait, what?
• 15:16
  Speaker B: Yeah. So it was like, your house?
• 15:18
  Speaker A: It was a play date.
• 15:19
  Speaker B: I mean, no, we were just, like, out. Like, they were on our front lawn. So she left and, like, stormed off and was like, dude. Like, it was just an accident. He. By accident. Like, she thought, like, it was, like, a bully move when, like, it absolutely wasn't. But, like, so in that, did we say sorry? Yeah, he said sorry. And in that, like, instance, it's like, like, what, you're gonna, like, kiss the floor that they're on because he, by accident hit your kid? Like, no, my kid said sorry. And that's it.
• 15:44
  Speaker A: That's it. Yeah, he did it on accident.
• 15:45
  Speaker B: Yeah. So, like, in that scenario, that was one thing, but, like, I don't know. But, like, overly making your kid apologize over something, like, even if they didn't
• 15:53
  Speaker A: really feel the mom, like, needs that.
• 15:55
  Speaker B: Yeah. Like, that's more. I feel like that's more for the mom. Like, it's not, like, for your kid.
• 15:59
  Speaker A: Right.
• 16:00
  Speaker B: I feel like moms do that a lot. Right. Especially at, like, a play date or stuff. Like, you're not really in the.
• 16:04
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 16:05
  Speaker B: Because when you interact with other moms and their kids, and moms are, like, so overprotective of their own kids that it's, like, so annoying.
• 16:11
  Speaker A: Like, I would never, like, be like that in front of, like, I would never, like, again. Like, I'm just like, go say sorry. Like, that's it. I'm not gonna, like, cuddle my son because he got hit in the face.
• 16:21
  Speaker B: Yeah. But, like, also so I would be
• 16:22
  Speaker A: like, it's an accident.
• 16:23
  Speaker B: Let's say. Let's say he didn't do it. And, like, so he was not. So it's fine.
• 16:28
  Speaker A: It's fine. Don't worry about it.
• 16:29
  Speaker B: Right. But some moms are like, no, like that. Like, some moms are like, assholes.
• 16:34
  Speaker A: She doing that? She was like, she was like, no, that was on purpose.
• 16:37
  Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 16:39
  Speaker A: I would be mortified.
• 16:40
  Speaker B: Yeah. What about like a grocery store meltdown? Like, if your kid is having.
• 16:46
  Speaker A: I know. I get so embarrassed. I still get so embarrassed.
• 16:49
  Speaker B: First of all, like, it is really hard to negotiate with a terrorist. Like, you cannot negotiate with a crying 2 year old in an aisle that they want this. And like, what do you do?
• 17:02
  Speaker A: I always.
• 17:03
  Speaker B: If you were home and people weren't watching, would you do the same thing that you were doing now?
• 17:07
  Speaker A: I just let him cry.
• 17:09
  Speaker B: So that's, that's what we're talking about.
• 17:10
  Speaker A: I'd be like, all right, go ahead, have your tantrum.
• 17:12
  Speaker B: Right?
• 17:12
  Speaker A: But if I had. Yeah. I would pick him up and be like, why are you doing this right now? Like, for what reason? Like, I still would talk like that. I wouldn't be like, you never do this. Like, I would be like, why are you having a tantrum right now? There's no reason to be. And I would pick him up and leave.
• 17:26
  Speaker B: I. I think I'm a culprit of. If we're in public and it's. And I know it's going to get really bad, I will give in just because I know, like, I have to pick my battles, obviously.
• 17:36
  Speaker A: Yeah, no, of course I would give them the snack if that's what they're tantruming over. But sometimes Jill just like throws a fit and there's no stopping.
• 17:41
  Speaker B: But I'm saying, like, sometimes, sometimes you can, you can stop the tantrum if you. Even though it's not right. If you give them the good behavioral. Right. Like, it's like, okay, fuck, I know if I get. Give him this play doh right now, he'll still.
• 17:55
  Speaker A: Oh, I definitely give them whatever he's crying.
• 17:57
  Speaker B: Yeah. So that's like, that's parenting different. Like, if he was at home, you'd let him cry and you wouldn't do. You wouldn't give him. But since there's people watching, everyone's around, you don't want that.
• 18:05
  Speaker A: But I also feel like when I'm home and he's crying for there's like a certain snack, I'll give it to him.
• 18:09
  Speaker B: Okay, so you're just a pushover.
• 18:11
  Speaker A: I'm just a pushover. But I don't know, like, it's so hard to tell because I truly am myself, like, in all aspects. Like, I don't. I really. Like, I'm even trying to think of like food and, and drinking and water and water bottles like, do I do anything differently when I'm out in public?
• 18:26
  Speaker B: Like, what if you're out in public and, like, a nice woman just, like, wants to give him, like, a little snack, but you would never give him that snack at home, would you say?
• 18:36
  Speaker A: Like, yeah, like, when I'm at my eyebrow appointment.
• 18:39
  Speaker B: Yeah.
• 18:39
  Speaker A: She gives him goldfish, and I'm just
• 18:41
  Speaker B: like, you let it.
• 18:42
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 18:44
  Speaker B: Okay, so that's being different.
• 18:46
  Speaker A: That is being different. Because I don't have it in my house.
• 18:48
  Speaker B: You don't have it in your house, so. And that woman was watching you, so you don't want to say, no, my kid doesn't eat.
• 18:53
  Speaker A: Yeah, that's true.
• 18:54
  Speaker B: Right?
• 18:54
  Speaker A: That's true.
• 18:54
  Speaker B: You're different.
• 18:55
  Speaker A: I'm different in that.
• 18:56
  Speaker B: I mean, in some things, yeah.
• 18:57
  Speaker A: Yeah, that's true. Like, I feel like I just. If I cannot give him certain things all day long and have it in my house and he sees it, I won't. But when he's out, he thinks it's a treat.
• 19:07
  Speaker B: Yeah, you can't like everything, right? Yeah.
• 19:10
  Speaker A: So, yeah, I guess I do do that. Like, I'm not like, no. I def. I've never said no, so.
• 19:13
  Speaker B: Right. Okay. Let's play a little game.
• 19:17
  Speaker A: Okay.
• 19:18
  Speaker B: This is called would you admit this? So we're just gonna take turns answering yes or no. Would you admit to doing this either?
• 19:28
  Speaker A: Like, is this true? Like, yeah, I get what you're saying.
• 19:30
  Speaker B: Okay. Have you ever hidden in the pantry and ate your own snacks?
• 19:36
  Speaker A: No.
• 19:36
  Speaker B: Okay.
• 19:37
  Speaker A: That is always a thing. Do moms actually hide in the fucking pantry?
• 19:41
  Speaker B: So I've never done that. First of all, I don't have a pantry.
• 19:44
  Speaker A: I don't have a pantry I could fit in.
• 19:45
  Speaker B: No. Can see how a mom would hide. Only because, like, you just need one second to yourself, and, like, you want to eat the M and M's, and you don't want your kids to get the M and M's. So, like, you're hiding and you're eating because you don't want to share yourself.
• 19:57
  Speaker A: Like, I've never done that.
• 19:58
  Speaker B: Yeah, I, I, I could see how I don't.
• 20:00
  Speaker A: Or you just don't feel like having them have M and M's in that moment, so you just.
• 20:03
  Speaker B: Yeah. Or, like, you just need a one second to breathe.
• 20:06
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 20:07
  Speaker B: So you hide. I've done that.
• 20:09
  Speaker A: Have you?
• 20:09
  Speaker B: Yeah, I think it might come with multiple, Multiple kids. Yeah, I do that.
• 20:15
  Speaker A: When I'm, like, at a party with, like, people.
• 20:17
  Speaker B: You hide.
• 20:19
  Speaker A: I just hide in the bathroom.
• 20:20
  Speaker B: Okay. Have you pretended a toy was Broken. Because you absolutely hated it.
• 20:24
  Speaker A: Yes.
• 20:24
  Speaker B: Have you taken batteries out?
• 20:26
  Speaker A: No, I've, like, thrown it away.
• 20:27
  Speaker B: Oh, yeah, I've done that.
• 20:28
  Speaker A: I'm saying it's done.
• 20:29
  Speaker B: All right. Have you ignored your kid calling mom for at least two minutes?
• 20:35
  Speaker A: Yes.
• 20:35
  Speaker B: For two minutes.
• 20:36
  Speaker A: Two minutes is a long time.
• 20:38
  Speaker B: So when was the last time you have done anything for two minutes? Think about it. What do you do for two minutes?
• 20:43
  Speaker A: You had to see me down the shore going to the bathroom.
• 20:46
  Speaker B: Yeah.
• 20:46
  Speaker A: I had Gio on my lap because he wanted to pretend he was pooping.
• 20:50
  Speaker B: Yeah.
• 20:50
  Speaker A: So he sat on my lap, like, this way.
• 20:52
  Speaker B: And you're on the toilet.
• 20:53
  Speaker A: Yep. And he's on my lap pretending to poop.
• 20:55
  Speaker B: Yeah.
• 20:55
  Speaker A: And then Bama's, like, right here. And the door's open because, like, you know, my door, my bathroom down the shore, how you have to, like, move your legs. So I really couldn't. So, like, everybody. My mom's walking by, my dad's walking by, my brother, and they're like, what are you doing? I was like, I'm trying to go to the bathroom. Like, that is all I'm trying to do. So. No, I don't. I don't remember the last time I did something for two minutes. Unless I'm, like, not with anybody.
• 21:15
  Speaker B: No.
• 21:15
  Speaker A: Like, right now.
• 21:16
  Speaker B: Like, but, like, two minutes is actually a very long time to, like, do one time. It. Yeah.
• 21:22
  Speaker A: Like, because even if I go upstairs, my mom's like, I'm my mom. I was like, mom, are you upstairs? Yeah, I'm upstairs.
• 21:28
  Speaker B: I was trying to, like, set a timer to brush my teeth for two minutes. Because, like, that's what you're supposed to do. And I got to, like, 35 seconds. And I was like, yo, this is too long. Like, I don't have two minutes in the morning to do this.
• 21:39
  Speaker A: No.
• 21:40
  Speaker B: And I was trying to teach my kids. Like, I bought a little timer. Because you brush your teeth now. Like, a whole fucking thing.
• 21:45
  Speaker A: No, not like they really have to brush their teeth.
• 21:46
  Speaker B: Oh, yeah, they have to brush their teeth. But, like, also, like, they don't just have to brush their teeth. Like, you actually have, like, Rocco still thinks, like, putting a little bit of tooth, Sucking it maybe, like, putting water and then sucking like that. Oh, I brushed. I'm like, no, like, that's not brushing your teeth. You got.
• 22:01
  Speaker A: Yeah, yeah.
• 22:02
  Speaker B: So but, like, two minutes is a really long time, so.
• 22:04
  Speaker A: I've never done anything for two minutes. Like, three years.
• 22:10
  Speaker B: Okay. Have you given snacks five minutes before dinner? Like, they're so hungry. You just Give snacks before dinner? I think so.
• 22:19
  Speaker A: No, it's so bad.
• 22:20
  Speaker B: It's so funny because if you just, like, hold off and don't give them the snacks, they might. They just might eat.
• 22:26
  Speaker A: The Might eat dinner.
• 22:27
  Speaker B: But it's too hard.
• 22:28
  Speaker A: It's too hard. I definitely give the snack.
• 22:30
  Speaker B: Have you let your kid wear pajamas in public?
• 22:33
  Speaker A: Yes.
• 22:34
  Speaker B: Do you like doing that?
• 22:35
  Speaker A: No.
• 22:36
  Speaker B: I feel like that, like, makes your skin crawl.
• 22:38
  Speaker A: Not. Not bad because he's so cute still. But when I was away on the Bachelorette and Michael. Hey, this is on. Gio was sick.
• 22:45
  Speaker B: Yeah.
• 22:45
  Speaker A: And brought Gio to Coffee's Own. When your husband came down with the kids, he was in pajamas. And for a split second I was like, why the did he leave him in pajamas? And I'm like, the poor kid's so sick.
• 22:54
  Speaker B: Oh, my God, I love a kid in pajamas so much.
• 22:57
  Speaker A: So it's actually so cute.
• 22:58
  Speaker B: My kids, if they wanted to stay in their pajamas to go get bagels the other day, like, earlier.
• 23:02
  Speaker A: Bagels is cute. I'm talking about, like, a play place at, like, three in the afternoon.
• 23:06
  Speaker B: I mean. Yeah, but still. I mean, I still think it's cute. Joe, my husband, hates it. They have to be dressed like. Well, he didn't live in pajamas. You were in the house.
• 23:17
  Speaker A: My mom was like that too.
• 23:18
  Speaker B: Like, that to me is so funny. But, like, he's very.
• 23:20
  Speaker A: But like, in the morning it's cute. Like, I think my mom would be like, leave him in pajamas. Go get coffee and, like, he'll come. But I'm talking about, like, when we're going now.
• 23:27
  Speaker B: I get it. But there was a fees. We're gonna talk about phases. But there was a phase where Joey wouldn't leave the house unless he was in, like, Spider man pajamas.
• 23:38
  Speaker A: I know.
• 23:38
  Speaker B: It was like I couldn't get him dressed unless he was in these specific Spider man pajamas. And Spider man in the whole outfit. It's. It's.
• 23:46
  Speaker A: It's trending towards that.
• 23:47
  Speaker B: Okay. Have you left Target because your kid was screaming ever? Like, like, totally left a place with,
• 23:55
  Speaker A: like, stuff in the cartoon.
• 23:57
  Speaker B: Yeah. Like, you just had to go.
• 23:58
  Speaker A: Yeah, I think so. Once or twice.
• 24:01
  Speaker B: I think I have.
• 24:01
  Speaker A: And, like, it's all about. It's, like, so crazy because, like, no one gives a flying. But, like, you just feel like you can't parent how you want to parent when you're out in public. The same as how you would parent when you're home. Like, you just can't. Like, it's just like, because what I want to do is like, strangle you. Strangle you. Like, it's just, like, so hard. But people, like, don't care. I. Have you ever walked past a woman and their kid, and they're screaming at their kid, and you're almost like, oh,
• 24:29
  Speaker B: my God, yes, yes.
• 24:30
  Speaker A: So I, like, they don't give a fuck because I do that at home.
• 24:34
  Speaker B: I was at a play place once, screaming. This woman was with her two small children, like, two under two, and she had one hooked like this and dragging the other one because they needed to leave the play place. The kids were screaming, they didn't want to leave. And I was like, I feel, like, been there.
• 24:50
  Speaker A: I feel you.
• 24:51
  Speaker B: I am you. But, like, I don't want people to look at me the way I'm looking at you like that. Like.
• 24:56
  Speaker A: But I'm talking about, like, using their mouths to their kids.
• 24:58
  Speaker B: I mean, yeah, she was screaming at
• 24:59
  Speaker A: them like, I don't care. You're not getting that. You're not a good girl. You're. You're going home, and you're going in your room, locking the door. Like, why are you talking like that in public?
• 25:08
  Speaker B: Yeah, I don't.
• 25:09
  Speaker A: But that's how she parents at home, probably, so she's the thing. I won't do that.
• 25:13
  Speaker B: So you're changing.
• 25:14
  Speaker A: I'm changing.
• 25:15
  Speaker B: Honestly, it's hard.
• 25:16
  Speaker A: I'd be like, all right, dude, like, ahead, cry, Cry.
• 25:18
  Speaker B: But that's the whole point of this. This whole episode is so you do and I do. I think we're all forget.
• 25:25
  Speaker A: I'm thinking the other way.
• 25:26
  Speaker B: No, like, everybody caves a little bit because I think of secondhand embarrassment.
• 25:32
  Speaker A: You're just embarrassed.
• 25:34
  Speaker B: And I hate being embarrassed.
• 25:35
  Speaker A: So crazy. Because, like, I'm not usually embarrassed, but, like, that embarrasses me also.
• 25:40
  Speaker B: It's. It's a little judgy, like, so I
• 25:42
  Speaker A: don't think I yell at my kid.
• 25:43
  Speaker B: Yeah. Like, let's just say you're at Target and your kid is having an epic meltdown, tantrum beyond belief over nothing, really. And everyone's staring and it's like, okay, like, I could do one of two things. Like, I could just pick my kid up right now and run. Or I could try to, like, de. Escalate the situation, but maybe I'll get frustrated and words will come out, and then everyone's looking at me the same way. So it's like, how do you handle it if people are watching? And if people aren't watching, what are you doing?
• 26:11
  Speaker A: Like, I'm hoping to, like, look at somebody and someone Being like.
• 26:14
  Speaker B: Right, thanks.
• 26:15
  Speaker A: What about the situations where, like, you're with somebody, you know, like me and you?
• 26:19
  Speaker B: Yeah.
• 26:20
  Speaker A: Like, have you ever felt like,
• 26:24
  Speaker B: like embarrassed by how I'm parenting or embarrassed or like, parenting? Yeah.
• 26:27
  Speaker A: Like looking at me and judging me for the. What I'm. How I'm parenting and vice versa. Like, have you ever felt that way you could be honest?
• 26:33
  Speaker B: No, not with you, but I. I definitely have felt like, with close people. With close people.
• 26:38
  Speaker A: Like, so. Because, yeah, we parent differently.
• 26:40
  Speaker B: Yeah.
• 26:41
  Speaker A: In terms of like, well, plus, you have three kids. I have one, so it's like very different.
• 26:44
  Speaker B: Right.
• 26:44
  Speaker A: But I'm a big. Like, you're not doing, like, I talk like this and I talk loud and like, that's how I talk to my kids the first time around. You don't talk like that. So, like, when I do that, do you feel a certain way?
• 26:55
  Speaker B: No.
• 26:56
  Speaker A: Does it bother you at all?
• 26:57
  Speaker B: No.
• 26:57
  Speaker A: Are you. What about in terms of like, do you feel like you wish you would do that? Do you ever, like, be like, I wish I could just take a page from her book or. No. Either.
• 27:06
  Speaker B: No, not really. I just feel like you can do your thing and I'll do my thing. And also I just. I feel like I have a grasp on how my kids would handle certain things.
• 27:16
  Speaker A: You just know.
• 27:17
  Speaker B: So I just. I mean. Yeah, I think so.
• 27:20
  Speaker A: Like, you ever been around somebody? We're like, I should. I wish I could parent a little bit. Like them to take a page on the rock.
• 27:25
  Speaker B: Yeah. I'm sure. I can't think of like, a specific example, but I'm sure there are.
• 27:30
  Speaker A: Like, I've never been around somebody where I'm like, I wish I. I mean, because there's one person, like, I guess like my. My cousin who has three boys. She's like, so calm. Like, I am very hectic. If, like, there's a lot of people around a lot of kids pool. And I don't know if it's the age thing, but, like, my cousin also has like a one year old, so.
• 27:53
  Speaker B: But she's calm.
• 27:54
  Speaker A: Yeah. She just like, knows. It's almost as if she knows he's okay.
• 27:58
  Speaker B: Yeah.
• 27:59
  Speaker A: Like, I don't know unless I'm looking. But like, she's so just like, she can be herself unless she's internally freaking out. I have no idea.
• 28:08
  Speaker B: I mean, maybe she just has three
• 28:09
  Speaker A: boys and one's in the pool.
• 28:11
  Speaker B: Well, I think probably nothing phases her anymore.
• 28:13
  Speaker A: Yeah, maybe that.
• 28:14
  Speaker B: Three boys. I don't know what else.
• 28:16
  Speaker A: Like, sometimes I wish I'm like, I Wish I could take some of that.
• 28:20
  Speaker B: Yeah.
• 28:20
  Speaker A: But I know maybe it comes with more kids.
• 28:22
  Speaker B: I think it might just. I think.
• 28:24
  Speaker A: I don't know how she was with Juan.
• 28:25
  Speaker B: Crazy, right? Because it, I think things change because
• 28:29
  Speaker A: you're just centered around. Like with you, sometimes you just can't discipline one kid because you got two other things that are going on next to you that are probably a bigger problem.
• 28:38
  Speaker B: Right.
• 28:38
  Speaker A: Whereas, like, I have one kid, like, all I have to do is discipline one kid. So, like, that's what I'm focusing on. So it's like major.
• 28:44
  Speaker B: Yeah.
• 28:44
  Speaker A: Whereas like, you, it's like split yours up.
• 28:46
  Speaker B: Yeah. Well, it's like that, it's like that meme where it's like people with more than three or more kids could just be like, totally unbothered because they just know. Yeah, right. So I think that happens. And yeah, I think everyone's just gonna parent everyone parents differently.
• 29:02
  Speaker A: And like, people agree with you. People don't agree with you. You act different, you do this. But I think at the end of the day, like, you should just treat your kid the same way you would always treat because then they're just gonna be. Yeah, like, I don't think you should discipline way differently at home than you do in public or in front of other people.
• 29:18
  Speaker B: No, you should try not to do that. But I totally can understand how things could be a little different if you are in public. Okay. For our listeners out there, what's one thing you swore you'd never do as a parent that you now do all the time? You swore you would never do it, but you still do it. Think about it. Comment?
• 29:38
  Speaker A: Wait, I don't want to answer this.
• 29:40
  Speaker B: Oh, you can answer it. Swore I never do mine. I know mine. I really, I remember every, every time I would go to a restaurant, I said, I would never, ever be that parent that would allow my kids having screen time at a restaurant. I remember thinking, that's so horrible. What? How could they just not be like, talking to their kids? And that's just like so disconnected. Like, I remember, like, how could they just throw them the phone? Like, that's just like. Like as a 16 year old up until.
• 30:09
  Speaker A: Yeah, right.
• 30:10
  Speaker B: 30. And I'd be like, I would never do that. And here I am. Here's your iPad.
• 30:17
  Speaker A: Yeah, but not when I.
• 30:22
  Speaker B: You can't think of one thing that you were like, I would never do. And then you. I would never let your kid drink gas milk. But you never did it. No, I would never give your kid an antibiotic.
• 30:37
  Speaker A: No.
• 30:38
  Speaker B: But you did it.
• 30:40
  Speaker A: I never said never with these things. I guess, like, I never thought I would, like, have him in my bed.
• 30:48
  Speaker B: Oh.
• 30:48
  Speaker A: Like. Because I feel like I grew up in my parents bed and I stayed there till I was like, literally 12.
• 30:52
  Speaker B: Yeah. Didn't you love that?
• 30:54
  Speaker A: I loved everything. I've never slept in my bedroom for 12 years. Yeah. But I was just like, I'm not doing that. Like, I'm not doing that because then I. I know. I don't mind it when they're. If it were to happen first year,
• 31:06
  Speaker B: second year, it happens a couple times.
• 31:08
  Speaker A: I know. So if it would happen for two years and it goes away, then I'd be like, okay, fine. But I know it stays, so. But now he's. He.
• 31:15
  Speaker B: He knows he's in your bed.
• 31:16
  Speaker A: Yeah, but he. Every night he falls asleep, and then we put him in his crib and he sleeps the whole night in his crib. So if that's the case, that's all good. So I guess in the bed is the thing.
• 31:24
  Speaker B: Honestly, whatever works for sleep.
• 31:26
  Speaker A: Yeah. Honestly, I kind of love him in my bed right now. It's so cute. And he wakes up in the morning, he'll say, mommy, wake up.
• 31:33
  Speaker B: Okay.
• 31:34
  Speaker A: He's like, lay with me.
• 31:35
  Speaker B: Honestly, if you look back at it, like, he's only this small for so long. Just let them in your bath.
• 31:40
  Speaker A: I know I do. But then I'm like, sometimes I'm tired.
• 31:44
  Speaker B: I know, I know.
• 31:45
  Speaker A: I don't sleep when he's in my bed.
• 31:46
  Speaker B: I've been there.
• 31:47
  Speaker A: All right, well, let's wrap this up, because I don't even know what the we talked about.
• 31:50
  Speaker B: We talked about how we would parent differently if no one.
• 31:54
  Speaker A: You don't. We know. What else?
• 31:56
  Speaker B: I think it's so funny when you say that I don't yell because I yell all day long.
• 32:00
  Speaker A: You don't yell.
• 32:01
  Speaker B: I do yell.
• 32:02
  Speaker A: You definitely don't yell. I yell like I feel like I've seen your kids do. And I'm like, I would be yelling right now. And you don't. Yeah, like, I would definitely be like, what are you guys doing? Don't do that. But, like, I feel like either you know your kids and they're gonna stop or you know, or you don't see it, or you just don't yell. Like you're just. Your first instinct is not to be like, don't do that. Mine is.
• 32:24
  Speaker B: Yeah, maybe.
• 32:26
  Speaker A: And that's that.
• 32:27
  Speaker B: That's that.
• 32:28
  Speaker A: And that's just how I grew up. So. Okay, top for now, we're off the clock. Ciao.