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Sister Wives S6 E5 - Christmas Surprise · My Sister Wives Podcast

• 0:00
  What does the nanny do? OK, so we're done.
• 0:08
  Goodbye. You shut it off.
• 0:12
  Do not twist my words. Do not make me a victim,
• 0:15
  sweetie. Just look at the mountain.
• 0:17
  That's what you saw that day. Just the knife in the kidneys
• 0:22
  over all these years, the sacrifices that I made to love
• 0:27
  you. Season 6 Episode 5 Christmas
• 0:33
  Surprise we are having Christmas
• 0:39
  Christmas in July. All I want for Christmas is July
• 0:43
  weather. That's my wish every fucking
• 0:47
  Christmas. Beautiful, Your song moved me,
• 0:50
  honey. And you know, growing up white
• 0:53
  trash. When I think of July Christmas,
• 0:55
  I think of think there was like a Marlboro cigarette special
• 0:58
  where they would have special signage at the gas station that
• 1:01
  was like welcome to the Marlboro
• 1:04
  And I'm like, OK, of course this
• 1:07
  brand in my mind. Send in your Marlboro tabs and
• 1:12
  you'll get a free cooler for your beer.
• 1:17
  Oh yes, if anyone has any Marlboro points they want to
• 1:20
  mail to me, I'll give them to my
• 1:22
  In the 90s that totally works.
• 1:28
  book. Book it.
• 1:30
  And jump rope for heart. All right, let's move on.
• 1:37
  Well, I hope you enjoyed a little bit of that Christmas
• 1:39
  spirit for the intro of this episode and that you were moved
• 1:42
  by the holiday. Even if it's made-up and you're
• 1:45
  only hearing the Christmas spirit in your ears, please also
• 1:49
  hear it in your heart. And in Kimber's case, that's
• 1:52
  that cavity that's open in the
• 1:56
  As you said, we are 5 episodes
• 1:59
  We're just moving right along and we're going to have a
• 2:01
  Christmas surprise. I don't think you'll be very
• 2:06
  surprised by any of this. But they had to use some kind of
• 2:09
  title. We are at Christine's rental and
• 2:12
  we are packing for moving today.
• 2:15
  Move. Day move, day still.
• 2:17
  Packing and moving that day and they ull U in a van and a moving
• 2:29
  movements throughout the property, throughout the house.
• 2:32
  And Christine grabs a door and
• 2:35
  she goes. They've scuffed a door already.
• 2:38
  Yes, those kids will have to pay.
• 2:40
  Kids. Yes, well, I mean, you know,
• 2:42
  having children does ruin your
• 2:43
  I've always had this but. Yeah, they scuff many a thing.
• 2:46
  No, they're a blessing. A holiday blessing.
• 2:48
  A Christmas blessing children ruining your belongings.
• 2:52
  Oh, we. Just have this quick moment with
• 2:54
  Christine where it's packing up some things.
• 2:55
  There's going to be more than one load, blah, blah, blah.
• 2:57
  We're at the house and then we
• 3:01
  Maddie tells us that she's been enjoying being able to go to
• 3:03
  the new house to escape Hunter when he's driving her crazy.
• 3:07
  And so it was a moment for Maddie.
• 3:09
  We haven't gotten a lot of Maddie moments recently.
• 3:12
  She was alert, awake and I don't
• 3:16
  No, she must have ejected herself for a while so that she
• 3:19
  could live her best life. And we get a clip from Maddie
• 3:22
  here. Surprise, surprise.
• 3:24
  After many a clip last season,
• 3:32
  Yeah, I'm like Hunter must torment her or something.
• 3:34
  I don't. Yeah, there's something there.
• 3:37
  But as we know, Meri still does not have her house.
• 3:40
  Oh no. And if the financing doesn't go
• 3:43
  through, she may have to do other financing is what she
• 3:47
  tells us. And I'm going is this even true
• 3:50
  or just manufactured drama in the sense of the money?
• 3:53
  I'm wondering if they were really suspecting that her
• 3:56
  financing wouldn't come through or if it's like we've been
• 3:59
  discussing in our previous episodes where she just took so
• 4:02
  long that her paperwork is just in process and no one should
• 4:06
  really be that worried about the
• 4:08
  It's hard for me to put my put
• 4:11
  It is because they don't really talk about the process.
• 4:14
  They kind of like hodgepodge together the process and give us
• 4:18
  like tidbits about the paperwork
• 4:22
  approved and when they bring this up, they say we still don't
• 4:27
  know if they will even get financing on her home.
• 4:31
  Which I don't quite understand.
• 4:32
  Well, and in the last episode, if we're on the actual timeline
• 4:37
  here, probably would have only been a day or two before some of
• 4:48
  table where they're Dang Dingle dangling their feet at Chanel's.
• 4:56
  timeline is, is it Frank invited
• 5:03
  Because they could have been pulling clips from past,
• 5:07
  present, future. Put that in there.
• 5:10
  They tell us, though, that this episode is starting off on
• 5:13
  January 2nd, that January 2nd is
• 5:18
  to celebrate Christmas, which is
• 5:22
  or, you know, Christmas Day, blah blah blah.
• 5:25
  So what we can take away from that is that Meri's time between
• 5:30
  Christmas and New Year's was spent wondering if she was going
• 5:35
  to be getting any notifications,
• 5:38
  They're giving Meri more time so
• 5:40
  happens for Leon on Christmas.
• 5:45
  getting their keys right before Christmas, there is an element
• 5:48
  of it's probably just too chaotic, too much to do
• 5:50
  Christmas on Christmas Day and
• 5:54
  Leon's very, very, very sensitive and delicate feelings.
• 5:59
  So when Kody shows up at Christine's house while they're
• 6:01
  unloading and setting up the new
• 6:04
  and enthusiastic, he walks in and he goes, honey, I'm home.
• 6:10
  And I was like, OMG, like, I love honey, I'm home.
• 6:14
  I actually think it's kind of funny.
• 6:15
  I probably would say it if I had
• 6:20
  It's just funny that Kody says
• 6:23
  the kids and is like, oh truly, like, blah, blah, blah.
• 6:26
  Not it. And it's all this like happy
• 6:27
  moment, truly. My little Princess.
• 6:29
  Didn't we just hear from Isabel about how he's not around and
• 6:34
  they don't know where he is? Could be that he's that excited
• 6:37
  to see them because it's been 2 weeks, I don't know.
• 6:39
  I finally get to see my children
• 6:44
  I'm avoiding like the Plague, as
• 6:48
  actually happens during the plague, yeah. 100 Christine
• 6:52
  suggests that they start a company called the Brown
• 6:55
  Family Moving Company for how many times they've moved.
• 6:58
  They're just constantly moving and they're so good at it.
• 7:02
  And I'm like, OK, so Kody cannot be the president or the CEO of
• 7:07
  And then Meri's got to be the workers.
• 7:09
  Meri's got to be HR Meri has to be the entire thing.
• 7:12
  She does 80% of the work when they're moving and in this
• 7:15
  episode they show clips of them hauling things and moving
• 7:19
  things. And Meri's, I was like taking up
• 7:24
  like she could carry a couch on her own.
• 7:26
  She is so good at moving. They do keep showing clips of
• 7:30
  all of the boys, like the older boys moving big pieces of
• 7:34
  furniture together. And they show like a clip where
• 7:38
  Logan is just like standing in the middle of the piece of
• 7:41
  furniture, playing light as a feather, stiff as a board while
• 7:44
  his brothers carry on either end.
• 7:46
  And it's like, Logan, just fucking walk away please.
• 7:50
  That's so funny. Christine tells us that she
• 7:53
  won't miss her rental home with even one fiber of her body.
• 7:57
  So, you know, I get that there's places you move on from and
• 8:01
  you're like, I'm not going to, you know, I'm not going to say
• 8:06
  But not even one fiber of her hot pink knee length skirt.
• 8:11
  Not even one fiber of her brown tights, or not even a fiber of
• 8:20
  under it. You can't even spare one fiber
• 8:27
  From that outfit, wow, sounds like there could have been some
• 8:32
  fibers to spare for her rental. Many a fiber.
• 8:34
  Many a fiber. Wow, thank you for that one,
• 8:37
  honey. That was good.
• 8:38
  Which of course queues up the typical flashback to the move to
• 8:44
  Let's not waste anytime on that. They show us clips then moving
• 8:49
  It's already happened, stop talking about it.
• 8:50
  Because then we get Kody talking about all of the hope that
• 8:53
  they've had along the way to get to where they are, and he's just
• 9:00
  It's like all of these hopes and dreams along the way that we've
• 9:04
  had to get through along the Oregon Trail.
• 9:06
  Hallelujah, he says. Hallelujah.
• 9:09
  Hallelujah. What's it to you I'm.
• 9:13
  Just feeling very festive with the holiday.
• 9:15
  Excuse me, the Christmas spirit entering my body?
• 9:18
  Do you see what ice don't you? Honey, it couldn't be any worse
• 9:26
  than the spirit of Christmas entering and exiting my body
• 9:28
  repeatedly. It would have been good if I
• 9:30
  could have got there, but oh, she couldn't do it.
• 9:32
  She couldn't do it. We get an exterior shot of the
• 9:40
  Brown family cul-de-sac. I finally named the cul-de-sac
• 9:49
  But you know, as we discussed in our last episode, we were really
• 9:56
  notifications, whatever you want to call them, that those bottom
• 9:59
  thirds. And so this episode we got less,
• 10:04
  back to the cul-de-sac, they put it up and it's like, we know
• 10:07
  what this is. We remember.
• 10:08
  We get it, We got it. Good.
• 10:09
  Thanks for wasting our time, TLC.
• 10:11
  As you're listening to this podcast, thanks for wasting our
• 10:16
  time, TLC. We see Meri looking into a van
• 10:26
  A minivan darling? Yes, a minivan and who be but on
• 10:35
  Leon behind the wheel. Staring longingly at their
• 10:41
  future home. It sounds like we went from
• 10:44
  Christmas to Halloween like Scary Movie Leon behind the
• 10:47
  wheel. Meri is gentle parenting the
• 10:50
  shit out of Leon before gentle parenting was a thing.
• 10:54
  Oh, gentle parenting as opposed to rough parenting.
• 10:59
  As opposed to tyrannical parenting, Leon gets gentle
• 11:04
  parented. Even while Leon is being gently
• 11:08
  parented, they are seething. We can.
• 11:12
  I just wanted to say seething. With anger.
• 11:14
  Well, Leon is staring up at that house at the end of the
• 11:19
  cul-de-sac, which is Meri's house, and Meri is apologizing,
• 11:22
  saying there's nothing that she can do about the situation.
• 11:27
  And then Meri asks, how do you feel about this?
• 11:32
  Leon admits that they're jealous and says I'm pissed.
• 11:36
  Off. Yeah, I'm pissed off.
• 11:39
  So aggressive. It's like you're sitting in a
• 11:42
  minivan staring at a house at a cul-de-sac.
• 11:44
  Like take it all in. To us Moi aggressive oh por
• 11:48
  favor. Crack off.
• 11:51
  Of course, Leon talks about being happy for the others, but
• 11:57
  that there's nothing that they can do to change things.
• 12:01
  Oh, and then Leon's crying and says it's just right there and I
• 12:12
  Yeah, the world's smallest violin was playing for Leon.
• 12:15
  And Meri's like honey, I'm just trying to talk to you, just.
• 12:20
  Trying to yeah, some of their back and forths.
• 12:24
  You're right, gentle parent. It's it's sounded like Meri.
• 12:27
  Meri's looking at Leanna going and how does it make you feel
• 12:31
  and what can I do to help you and how can I make that any
• 12:35
  better? I was like, bitch, you can't.
• 12:38
  You asked him to change the fireplace at the last minute,
• 12:40
  and now we're stuck here, sitting in the cul-de-sac in our
• 12:45
  If you would have submitted your paperwork on the 19th instead of
• 12:51
  And not tried to blow a builder Dan for more things to get fixed
• 12:57
  Oh man, you know, then maybe you wouldn't have been disappointing
• 13:04
  Christine and Christine makes a valid point here.
• 13:08
  Christine says Leon has watched Janelle and I be able to have
• 13:14
  babies and Meri couldn't have that.
• 13:16
  They kind of go back and forth and they're they're giving Leon
• 13:21
  grace about their reaction due to the fact that Leon has had a
• 13:27
  lot of disappointments, AKA not having siblings in their life.
• 13:34
  Well, right. And Christine says this whole
• 13:37
  thing reminds me of that. And I was like, Kimber just said
• 13:46
  was a similarity in that. There was a parallel in that.
• 13:49
  Because everybody keeps lying to Leon to placate them.
• 13:53
  I don't know. They think Leon's fragile.
• 13:57
  They think, what of Leon? Because Leon has been the only
• 14:05
  marriage and to follow the doctrine.
• 14:08
  And Leon is the only one not to have any siblings.
• 14:13
  And Leon is the one with big emotions, just like Meri.
• 14:17
  And we all placate to Leon. And we kept our home in Lehigh
• 14:27
  Like there's this common thread, right?
• 14:31
  Some only child syndrome whatnotness in a family of 22,
• 14:48
  they were living in the same home, since they were being
• 14:52
  raised by three different moms, they were being raised
• 14:57
  differently and separately and not as siblings.
• 14:59
  Nature versus nurture with this family.
• 15:02
  It's very interesting to me. Yeah, interesting throwback.
• 15:07
  Christine says she feels safe having all the kids around at
• 15:13
  the cul-de-sac while they're on the couch discussing, and Kody
• 15:19
  it looks like a polygamist compound.
• 15:21
  Yeah, he points out that they're in a gated community with cinder
• 15:31
  little kids in the middle of the cul-de-sac on rollerblades,
• 15:34
  on Razor scooters, each doing their thing on the brand new.
• 15:39
  You remember how smooth roller skates were on brand new, like
• 15:44
  Rolled out asphalt. Oh, that's.
• 15:47
  A three bearing rollerblade, I'm telling you.
• 15:50
  Level 3 on new asphalt. Nothing smoother.
• 15:53
  Nothing smoother than my balls, baby.
• 15:55
  Oh, you took up landscaping all of a sudden?
• 15:59
  I did take offense to when you said that because I do
• 16:03
  landscape. Thank you very much.
• 16:04
  I know that you do, and I know this, which is so sorry.
• 16:07
  I'll apologize on air for making that joke about.
• 16:10
  Manscape with the manosphere. You know, I just didn't want to
• 16:13
  be too cliche blah blah blah, fill in the blanks.
• 16:15
  So Kody makes a joke about how with the gated community and the
• 16:24
  compound. Plague, Plague.
• 16:26
  Plague. Plague.
• 16:26
  And I think Janelle actually comes out and says compound for
• 16:32
  the first time during. Compound Christine wishes Kody
• 16:36
  would just keep thoughts like that in his head.
• 16:39
  Yeah, don't say that, Kody goes it's just silly, like it's us
• 16:44
  being silly. And Christine goes, it's not
• 16:46
  silly. There's a negative connotation,
• 16:51
  so Q the FLDS montage of the compounds.
• 16:55
  Oh my God, Warren Jeffs photo flashes on the screen.
• 17:01
  Oh, he's such a criminal. Well, he actually is.
• 17:03
  I shouldn't laugh at that. He's terrible.
• 17:07
  And behind locked gates is where
• 17:10
  know, against their will. They were held captive well
• 17:13
  against their will and quotes.
• 17:16
  whatever. Christine says that she does not
• 17:19
  want to be related to any of that at all, and she says a
• 17:24
  compound is the absolute opposite of what our homes are.
• 17:28
  Yes, because the compound means fear and control and their
• 17:32
  family and their homes are not
• 17:35
  Opposite of that and there's freedom and we can all go
• 17:38
  wherever we want here. We get a transition to Meri's
• 17:42
  rental where she's packing, taping up some boxes, and then
• 17:46
  we get a shot of her mom packing
• 17:49
  Bonnie's visiting to help with
• 17:53
  Bonnie's calling to town and I
• 18:00
  this show. I have not even watched any
• 18:03
  seasons from the episode that we're recording on.
• 18:07
  I've just seen clips on TikTok
• 18:11
  So I've never seen a shot of Meri's mother from the top of
• 18:19
  the head. Right.
• 18:20
  So I was a little taken aback by
• 18:26
  obviously losing her hair. And I just want to say to
• 18:30
  anybody out there that is female
• 18:37
  your hair, I understand that it fucking sucks.
• 18:41
  And I do swear by Neutrophil. I know it's super expensive.
• 18:45
  They don't sponsor the podcast
• 18:50
  Give yourself some fucking grace
• 18:52
  and we cannot help that shit. So moving on from that, just
• 18:56
  wanted to give some tips and tricks because losing hair
• 19:00
  fucking sucks. I lost it after having babies
• 19:02
  for a while. It's a bitch.
• 19:04
  And maybe you wouldn't expect it
• 19:06
  little bit of a cheap shot to be
• 19:10
  And so we're going to. You know, we give Kody a lot of
• 19:14
  guff for his hair loss, but that's because he's so fucking
• 19:18
  vain. And obsessed with it, yeah.
• 19:20
  Absolutely. I think that it depends on the
• 19:22
  person and you need to know, like when it's like punch to the
• 19:26
  ear or kick to the kidney or a
• 19:29
  And I do not want anyone to ever
• 19:33
  people for their differences. You know this show.
• 19:38
  The thing about it is they put
• 19:42
  Kody is what we know he is. If you have this issue,
• 19:45
  seriously don't feel bad and go to your doctor first because
• 19:49
  might be something wrong. Like really truly.
• 19:52
  So take care of yourselves. Take care of yourself.
• 19:55
  And we don't want any punching.
• 19:56
  We don't want any kicking. We we don't want Grandma Bonnie
• 19:58
  to get kicked in the tooth, no. We don't want Grandma Bonnie to
• 20:02
  get kicked in the tooth. That would be terrible.
• 20:04
  Oh. No, she'd have to wash her mouth
• 20:12
  Danny from Pinnacle Homes. I was like, oh, Danny, that must
• 20:19
  because Meri spent so much time with Daniel the builder.
• 20:22
  Well, I heard Danny and I was like, did Meri just go?
• 20:26
  Oh, Daddy. I was like honey, Danny.
• 20:31
  Danny but with their accent. It was very bizarre and I had to
• 20:41
  And I was so proud of myself because I remembered Daniel the
• 20:44
  builder. I remembered his name and I knew
• 20:47
  I was having a lot of successful moments during this scene.
• 20:50
  Maybe I've been going through a dry spell, Daddy.
• 20:54
  Oh God. Oh my.
• 20:56
  But daddy, I mean, Danny tells them.
• 20:59
  That daddy Danny. Calls to let Meri know that he
• 21:07
  pestered him enough and drove him crazy enough about.
• 21:10
  My mom is here and she's been through so much and I've been
• 21:14
  through so much and Leon's on the edge of a nervous breakdown.
• 21:20
  And Leon hasn't even fully seen it yet.
• 21:23
  Right. We've seen footage of Leon
• 21:25
  seeing these houses pretty much built.
• 21:28
  So, OK, Leon hasn't been able to
• 21:32
  and your crooked mantle. Leon hasn't been able to put
• 21:35
  their own fake marble on the mantle to make sure that it's a
• 21:38
  OK. Leon pulls out a protractor and
• 21:41
  he's like, can I do anything? Can I?
• 21:43
  Can I solve any problems? An Abacus.
• 21:47
  An Abacus. Perhaps to calculate the
• 21:50
  velocity of the corner that needs to happen this way and
• 21:53
  that way to make it even. Look at us saying words and
• 21:57
  things. As they arrived to Meri's house
• 22:00
  and they entered the home, there
• 22:04
  playing. And I was just kind of
• 22:06
  distracted by it because I thought, wow, you would think
• 22:08
  there was a death in the family. But it's just that they haven't
• 22:11
  moved into the house quite yet, and the builder is going out of
• 22:15
  their way to give them a tour of this home that he probably
• 22:18
  shouldn't even do. How many days before Christmas?
• 22:20
  Thank you, Daddy.
• 22:21
  Oh, I think this. Oh, yeah, right.
• 22:23
  Is this before or after Christmas?
• 22:25
  The real 10, Not the Brown Christmas after.
• 22:28
  Betwixt the 2O Not much time. Not much time.
• 22:31
  And so either way, Daddy Danny, hope that Robyn gave you enough
• 22:37
  Bee Gees to pay for. This need a refund.
• 22:40
  Leon compliments Meri's choices,
• 22:45
  the cabinets and the color choice.
• 22:48
  Looks beautiful, mom. So beautiful.
• 22:50
  I love this color. And then Leon says I don't want
• 22:54
  to leave. Can we just stay here?
• 22:57
  Where is Leon from all of a sudden?
• 22:59
  I don't know, does this happen a
• 23:03
  Can we just stay here? I don't want to leave Mama.
• 23:08
  It does happen. Can we?
• 23:09
  Just stay here. It does happen, but you know,
• 23:11
  OK. Well, remember said I was an
• 23:13
  actress. Meri talks about how Leon has
• 23:16
  been confused with the financing
• 23:20
  can't help with any clearing up because she doesn't understand
• 23:24
  herself. Meri says she can't explain to
• 23:27
  Leon why Janelle and Christine
• 23:31
  not. And I went duh, because you
• 23:34
  didn't get your fucking shit done, lady.
• 23:37
  Like it's not some sort of mystical thing that no one could
• 23:39
  ever know. It's like you were behind on
• 23:41
  your shit or you asked for too
• 23:44
  both. And now you're making it sound
• 23:46
  like, well, who knows what Janelle and Christine, what
• 23:48
  those people did with their paperwork to make it work.
• 23:50
  It's like, no, those people didn't do anything wrong with
• 23:53
  whatever. You didn't get your shit in.
• 23:55
  Well, right, that's the most disgusting part of this clip is
• 23:58
  that Meri says Leon doesn't understand financing.
• 24:01
  But that's not even just it. Leon thinks that nobody on the
• 24:06
  job sites or the financing is doing their jobs because, OK,
• 24:11
  all this stuff is getting done
• 24:13
  it getting done here? The people are slacking on their
• 24:16
  jobs here. Meri kind of goes along with
• 24:20
  this and just says, well, they
• 24:23
  people's jobs work and neither
• 24:26
  And like Meri is putting it off on somebody else.
• 24:30
  Yep, absolutely. Putting it off on somebody else,
• 24:33
  as they always do. And I have a feeling that Meri
• 24:37
  is telling Leon that they're not
• 24:41
  taking ownership. I think so as well.
• 24:44
  I mean she says so out loud. It's literally she's blowing
• 24:48
  smoke up everybody's skirt. That's the gist of what it's
• 24:50
  going to come down to and that
• 24:53
  Didn't get her shit done and now
• 24:56
  how it just isn't done. And Leon, they are doing their
• 24:59
  jobs. And just because they're doing
• 25:01
  them over there doesn't mean they're not doing them over
• 25:03
  here, even though we're not over
• 25:07
  My God. And all of a sudden it's
• 25:10
  nighttime and Kody pulls up to
• 25:13
  meeting. Oh, everyone's sitting around
• 25:15
  the table. Another family meeting.
• 25:17
  This family loves a family meeting.
• 25:19
  And they start talking about Christmas and what this means
• 25:23
  and how they're going to do their Christmas.
• 25:25
  And they chat about putting up a
• 25:27
  because she happens to have a Christmas tree.
• 25:30
  Of all the wives. I think that's kind of funny.
• 25:33
  It is Christmas morning. We'll be at Janelle's as Kody is
• 25:37
  rolling up to the house, like quite literally with his bag.
• 25:41
  Kody says, this may be the last time I drag my luggage here.
• 25:47
  Let's hope so. Dragging his roller bag up the
• 25:51
  sidewalk and it's like boom, bouncing over each crack in the
• 25:55
  sidewalk. And he's literally just on
• 25:58
  camera. And they're showing that
• 25:59
  happening. And it reminds me of middle
• 26:01
  school when the people that would show up that like weren't
• 26:04
  cool had roller bags instead of backpacks.
• 26:08
  Well, you were so cool, honey.
• 26:10
  No, I knew it wasn't cool because I had to hide the fact
• 26:13
  that I wasn't popular. Yes, you knew to leave your
• 26:16
  roller bag at home. I fucking knew it, but that
• 26:19
  bitch wanted to come so bad. While they're at this family
• 26:22
  meeting, you would think maybe
• 26:24
  enterprise, my sister, wife's closet, or to continue Christmas
• 26:28
  planning. But no, no details about those
• 26:30
  things other than this special
• 26:35
  He talks about how every year his mom would make caramels for
• 26:39
  Christmas. I need to say caramels because
• 26:41
  they say caramels, and I say caramel because I prefer the
• 26:44
  formal. But I'll try to remember that
• 26:47
  it's caramels. But this year, Kody's mom can't
• 26:50
  make them. We don't know why she's just
• 26:53
  unable to perform her duty. Probably that arthritis from
• 26:56
  cooking for the family for her.
• 26:59
  How many goddamn decades? Is the ranch mom?
• 27:02
  Oh, but don't fear everyone, she's sending her recipes.
• 27:05
  So Kody suggests all the wives can make her caramels and he
• 27:11
  says if someone can make caramels better than my mom then
• 27:17
  And everyone laughs and I held down the vomit.
• 27:26
  They make a joke about how, oh, we'd be doing this the day of.
• 27:34
  And I'm like, do you even know how people make caramel?
• 27:39
  Like, it is not an easy process. Plus it has to cool and harden.
• 27:44
  Like, you might be making that
• 27:46
  caramel in the morning and then it's like 10 hours later.
• 27:50
  We're trying these like, oh. OK.
• 27:53
  Kody, come on, Your mom's been
• 27:56
  don't even know how it's made.
• 27:59
  actually. Kody's like it's an annual
• 28:01
  tradition. My mother, I do it every year.
• 28:03
  I have no idea what it takes. I just eat it.
• 28:05
  I was out with the boys chopping
• 28:08
  Yeah, burying dead animals, that's what he.
• 28:11
  Burying dead animals and cutting
• 28:14
  Chopping down those trees, Janelle tells us that she has a
• 28:18
  secret weapon. Her mom, Cheryl, is visiting for
• 28:22
  Christmas and Cheryl has some extra special insight into
• 28:27
  making this caramel because, oh,
• 28:31
  caramel before. Not because she's a neighbor,
• 28:34
  not because she's a good friend,
• 28:38
  mom's sister wife. And this is where Janelle gives
• 28:42
  us a little bit of back story about her mom meeting Kody's dad
• 28:46
  in this kind of situation that
• 28:50
  Because if you've read their book, and if you've been in the
• 28:53
  Sister Wives universe for a while, you kind of know the
• 28:56
  sordid history of these people.
• 28:57
  They bring it up when they visit the parents ranch earlier on in
• 29:02
  the. Series.
• 29:03
  That's true. That's true.
• 29:04
  And it's kind of glossed over there a bit.
• 29:07
  This is like maybe the second time they're talking about it.
• 29:17
  Kody and Meri. Just even friends they weren't
• 29:26
  with an S comes to meet Kody's dad and ends up falling in love.
• 29:36
  sister. Wife is Janelle's mommy.
• 29:42
  Mommy. Mommy had to make it creepier
• 29:45
  than it already fucking is because.
• 29:46
  Thank you for that. Janelle's mom is Kody's stepmom.
• 29:50
  Yes, well, I mean, it is Christmas.
• 29:52
  They can't just come out and say
• 29:55
  No. But we do get a really cute
• 29:58
  quote from Mama when she's standing by her car and she says
• 30:02
  when in this competition, I'm not sure I'm the secret weapon,
• 30:07
  but I can try I guess. Oh, Cheryl, you know, this is
• 30:14
  the second time at least that they've talked about it.
• 30:16
  Another opportunity for them to give us anything real.
• 30:19
  They don't. It's very whitewashed, very
• 30:20
  glossed over. It's like OK so we find out that
• 30:23
  Janelle's mom fell in love with Kody's dad so.
• 30:26
  But they say it weird so that doesn't really register they.
• 30:29
  Say it in a way so we don't connect those dots quite
• 30:31
  clearly, Kody says. So Cheryl is my mom's sister,
• 30:35
  wife. Instead of saying so, Cheryl's
• 30:36
  my stepmom. It's like caramel caramel,
• 30:39
  right? The other thing that just
• 30:41
  crossed crossed my mind, girl,
• 30:48
  to being married to Kody, was married to Meri's brother.
• 30:53
  Meri comes from cult family. Jenelle was already married to a
• 30:58
  member of the cult. So even the details they give
• 31:03
  that make you go, oh, well, it
• 31:05
  that Jenelle's mom would say, hey, I don't want you joining a
• 31:07
  cult. I'm here to we're going to do an
• 31:08
  intervention. We're going to stop you.
• 31:11
  Well, she was already married to
• 31:13
  married to Kody, so that it just
• 31:17
  Whoa. Because yeah, the timing is
• 31:19
  weird and it's Criss crossing on
• 31:25
  And it makes even less sense because I always could
• 31:29
  understand and rationalize that you would want to protect your
• 31:31
  daughter from joining a cult if you were actually concerned.
• 31:34
  Yeah, but your daughter was already married to one of these
• 31:37
  family members, so it just, it
• 31:42
  Just lies. It's hard to believe them.
• 31:44
  Liars, liars, liars. Meri and Robyn will be making
• 31:50
  caramels together. Oh, excuse me, Caramels together
• 31:53
  because Meri doesn't even have a
• 31:58
  lives in a rental home with a kitchen and Robyn has a kitchen,
• 32:01
  so this is just bullshit. I'm not sure if this entire
• 32:04
  thing was set up by production.
• 32:05
  I don't know. I don't know why Meri and Robyn
• 32:07
  had to work together on this, but.
• 32:09
  Well, when Kody announces the competition, Robyn is just
• 32:13
  beside herself. Oh yeah, because Robyn can't
• 32:15
  microwave popcorn, so. Yeah, Robyn literally can't even
• 32:23
  she's sitting at the table as he talks about a perfect his
• 32:27
  mama's caramels are, and she's just like, shit in her pants.
• 32:32
  Yeah, I think that's why she was like, oh, Meri, you don't have a
• 32:39
  If you need me to boil water, you're going to have to teach me
• 32:44
  credit for it, but if we lose, it's also a funny story and I
• 32:48
  don't have to get credit for it. Robyn always comes out a winner
• 32:51
  in Kody's eyes. Yeah, no kidding.
• 32:53
  Even though she's a loser in everybody else's.
• 32:55
  Yep, when talking about this competition and getting his
• 32:59
  wives, you know, pinning his wives against each other once
• 33:02
  again but through a playful activity ha ha lol.
• 33:04
  We get a sound bite moment from Kody where he says you may be
• 33:09
  thinking I'm a misogynist pig right now but you don't
• 33:13
  understand my genius. It's about getting more caramels
• 33:22
  is there anything TLC won't put on the show?
• 33:25
  Because using women to make you candy and manipulating them to
• 33:31
  having your cake and eating it too.
• 33:34
  Well, and it's and it's like a harmless example in a sense.
• 33:37
  I mean, it's literally supposed to be a playful competition
• 33:39
  thing. It's not like, you know,
• 33:41
  actually underhanded in nature as far as we can see.
• 33:44
  And so for him to be saying this, it's like, of all the shit
• 33:49
  out is that makes you look like a misogynist?
• 33:51
  I don't think so. I think it's a lot of other
• 33:54
  things. The other thing that I would
• 33:55
  like to point out is that Kody says that his mom makes the best
• 34:01
  stakes. Like now you're getting compared
• 34:08
  they ever want to be compared to their husband's mom.
• 34:13
  Like it's, it's a little weird. It's a little Freudian.
• 34:17
  One of the benefits of being single?
• 34:19
  We transitioned to Christine's house in the AM and she tells us
• 34:27
  Lucia's Day. Saint Lucia's.
• 34:29
  Day, St. Lucia's Day, which is a
• 34:32
  Scandinavian holiday. They do it every year where the
• 34:36
  oldest daughters make breakfast for the family.
• 34:38
  And I'm putting daughters in quotes right now because not
• 34:41
  everyone that's going to participate is a daughter today.
• 34:47
  the oldest girl of the family makes breakfast for the whole
• 34:50
  family, not daughters. Oh, the oldest.
• 34:53
  So this is a polygamous family, so there's four girls to help.
• 34:59
  In a normal, dare I say Scandinavian family, it would be
• 35:06
  1 eldest daughter making breakfast.
• 35:09
  Enslaved. For who knows how many fucking
• 35:13
  people, 7. I don't know.
• 35:15
  How many times have you had a sibling born?
• 35:19
  They're the oldest. I've never celebrated St.
• 35:21
  Lucia's Day and I've never had, I mean, my family's only half
• 35:24
  Scandinavian. So we're looking at this from
• 35:26
  like the normal lens. Normal.
• 35:29
  I say that in quotes as always.
• 35:31
  Now they say daughters. So they're scooping 4 of them up
• 35:40
  another holiday for the fun of it.
• 35:43
  But also I. Mean they're just Co opting it
• 35:47
  I mean is it so bad other than the like enslaving your?
• 35:51
  Daughter sexism times 4. I would argue it's 1000 times
• 35:54
  worse 4. Times the sexism.
• 35:57
  You get 4 times the stint in gel or hell.
• 36:02
  OK they seriously why? Because.
• 36:06
  They're traditional darling. Well, we come from this quote
• 36:10
  from Kody. Don't call me a sexist pig to
• 36:12
  this. And either the producers want
• 36:15
  them to look bad, or they don't realize that they just naturally
• 36:21
  the producers just lucked out. Honey, were you ever forced to
• 36:26
  It sounds like you are harboring some previous resentments.
• 36:29
  No, thank God, I'd never heard of this holiday until this
• 36:33
  episode. And that's why I slammed the
• 36:36
  pause button so hard with my big toe that it just, I don't know
• 36:43
  Room. That remote just shot across the
• 36:47
  an opportunity to move on soon, maybe through some therapy.
• 36:50
  I can understand this is one of those things where it's like,
• 36:52
  oh, it used to be fun. We don't do it anymore.
• 36:54
  The oldest in the family, boy or girl, has to make breakfast for
• 36:58
  the family. But I can't believe that anybody
• 37:05
  daughter's mother's, aunts, whatever.
• 37:08
  Right. Well.
• 37:10
  So we find out that there are actually going to be four
• 37:13
  daughters joining. We kind of assumed they might
• 37:16
  include Robyn's eldest, but they
• 37:21
  Aspen, Maddie, Leon and Aurora.
• 37:23
  All four get to make breakfast like it's a gift.
• 37:28
  They don't have to. They get to the gift to the
• 37:31
  family. Labor.
• 37:32
  So the four of them are getting to make breakfast and they're
• 37:36
  going to make crepes. Tasty.
• 37:40
  And the only way you could ever serve a crepe breakfast to an
• 37:46
  entire family is buffet style with trays.
• 37:51
  And this is where shit gets real, real quick.
• 37:56
  Oh yeah, passions heat. Crepes.
• 37:59
  Burn. Well, actually there was a lack
• 38:00
  of heat. And no, there was heat.
• 38:01
  It was. Too, there was direct an excess
• 38:03
  of heat. Thank you.
• 38:04
  Thank you. So what are these?
• 38:08
  They're pans, the aluminum disposable.
• 38:10
  So there's a name for it, I can't remember the name, but
• 38:14
  essentially there's two aluminum pans.
• 38:16
  The lowest has some water in it, the top has the food in it, and
• 38:21
  then there's like a candle, like a little kerosene candle
• 38:24
  underneath. So it heats the water, which
• 38:26
  spreads the heat to heat the entire piece of food or whatever
• 38:33
  situations where you can't help it.
• 38:36
  Someone's just going to look bad.
• 38:38
  Maddie has been just ragging on everyone.
• 38:43
  Hey, there needs to be water between the two layers or the
• 38:46
  food is going to burn. I remember Christine telling me
• 38:51
  that, and every single other daughter, Aspen, Leon, Aurora is
• 38:59
  So they start lighting the things and then of course they
• 39:14
  that actually lit the burners and decided that their decision,
• 39:27
  Nope. Is it Aspen?
• 39:30
  Nope. Oh, is it the Ghost of Christmas
• 39:37
  Oh, it's Leon. And they pointed out that, hey,
• 39:40
  it was Leon that made the decision, and Leon just can't
• 39:45
  handle that and yells I did it, I'm sorry guys.
• 39:50
  And storms off. Thank you for the storm off
• 39:56
  sound effects that sound like a horse trotting away.
• 39:59
  Coconuts tapping together, Monty Python style.
• 40:02
  Definitely slammed down some shit on the stove and then
• 40:05
  turned around and booked it out of that room.
• 40:08
  Like my attitude is here. Listen to it.
• 40:11
  I'm pissed. I just don't even know how to
• 40:13
  describe this scene because it's so ridiculous.
• 40:15
  Because they're like fighting over these weird giant ways that
• 40:22
  fuck this is and they think that it happens in cafeterias, but
• 40:25
  this is like, this is a family cafeteria and I can't even think
• 40:33
  Warming trays. But there there's a name for
• 40:36
  them, I. Just so it's just like so funny
• 40:38
  because we get this weird, absurd way that they have to
• 40:41
  serve breakfast because their family is so big.
• 40:44
  And then they're fighting over how to serve this like weird
• 40:48
  breakfast that it's like Leon is just all of a sudden they're
• 40:53
  making a scene Much Ado about nothing.
• 40:55
  They're trying to get some sort of heated rivalry going on
• 40:59
  because there's literally no fucking reason to film this.
• 41:03
  Well, Maddie was kind of jabbing at everybody.
• 41:06
  Maddie actually took out one of those kerosene things and was
• 41:09
  reading the instructions, being like, you're supposed to like
• 41:11
  this when you do the thing. Like just reiterating that she
• 41:18
  Who was right? I guess it was me.
• 41:20
  I guess y'all were wrong and Leon could not handle it.
• 41:24
  But do Meri and Kody unloading some of someone's belongings
• 41:29
  into someone's home, not into Meri's home because she doesn't
• 41:32
  have her home friendly reminder.
• 41:34
  And Meri is talking Kody's ear
• 41:39
  Oh, Leon's upset. Imagine that.
• 41:42
  So exciting and new. But sometimes Leon's not upset.
• 41:46
  It's, you know, hot and cold up and down here and there all
• 41:49
  around the square. And Kody says, well, sounds like
• 41:53
  you, Meri. Sounds like you, Meri.
• 41:55
  It feels like it's more about you, Meri, and how you're
• 41:59
  reacting to Leon. And he tells Meri I'll handle
• 42:02
  it. I can handle this.
• 42:05
  It's a little crummy that he's
• 42:08
  about you instead of about your child.
• 42:11
  Yeah, it has vibes of a little
• 42:15
  like, let me tell you about how it is.
• 42:17
  But I hate to say it, I kind of agree with him.
• 42:20
  It's like, Meri, you just seem
• 42:23
  necessary and making things worse in many ways, withholding
• 42:27
  things and kind of ushering Leon
• 42:31
  Well, Leon's upset sometimes and
• 42:33
  And I don't get it. It's like, Meri, you don't get
• 42:35
  anything. You just pretend like you don't
• 42:37
  understand these things when really you should very clearly
• 42:40
  understand what's going on. But there are two peas in a pod,
• 42:43
  as we said in our last episode
• 42:46
  I have a hard time with this because it sounds like Kody's
• 42:48
  like, oh, you're just too emotional.
• 42:50
  Like God forbid you a period the
• 42:54
  And then he sounds also like he's just being realistic and
• 42:58
  like, hey, you're emotional too.
• 42:59
  Quit making about yourself because it's about our child and
• 43:08
  weird shit, talking about how she understands now that she has
• 43:14
  couple years, and now she knows what it must have been like for
• 43:17
  Kody to deal with her. I see me in them so much.
• 43:25
  Oh God. Meri just goes on and on about
• 43:33
  because of how hard it is to deal with Leon and realizing it
• 43:37
  must be just as hard to deal with her and kind of talks about
• 43:46
  where Kody says, baby, Meri's being dramatic.
• 43:48
  You just don't know. And this is The thing is like,
• 43:55
  She's always upset. She's always all over the place.
• 43:58
  about her child who's always upset and all over the place is
• 44:02
  the story that you're both are
• 44:05
  place. What's going on here?
• 44:08
  And Kody's just trying to be one
• 44:10
  manosphere and come in and say, listen, I'm going to lay down
• 44:13
  the law. I'm going to tell Leon what
• 44:16
  needs to happen. I'm going to give Leon some life
• 44:24
  sitting inside in the family room or the living room or the
• 44:29
  You never know where they are. And oh, he's got some things to
• 44:34
  say to Leon. First, Kody starts out by just a
• 44:44
  tell? This is not gentle parenting,
• 44:47
  OK? This is not understanding how to
• 44:55
  Feeling OK? Do you get upset when I ask you
• 45:00
  that question? Are you feeling OK, Kimber?
• 45:01
  Are you mad at? Me are you?
• 45:03
  Oh, I I never ask people that. I don't want to know the answer.
• 45:07
  Kody also tells Leon. Well after.
• 45:09
  You know that ice breaker? Yeah, best ice breaker ever.
• 45:14
  Tony just dives right in and tells Leon.
• 45:17
  When you're mad about what's going on in your life, you still
• 45:20
  need to be a sweet person. A sweet person.
• 45:26
  You need to not wear your struggles on your sleeve so
• 45:28
  much. Your mom is dealing with the
• 45:31
  same thing. You'll have a better life and a
• 45:34
  lot more friends if you have a
• 45:40
  Value into what you do have. Yeah, yeah.
• 45:44
  AKA, not what you don't have, not the house that you've been
• 45:46
  staring at longingly across the street.
• 45:49
  That you've been yelling at from
• 45:52
  to slap. Why not the?
• 45:54
  Underwriter across the face, like you've been a spoiled brat,
• 45:58
  which is what we have been saying on this podcast for many
• 46:01
  episodes. And it's unlikable.
• 46:03
  And do I think you have to be a sweet person?
• 46:07
  No. Do I think you always have to
• 46:08
  have a chipper disposition? No.
• 46:10
  But do I think Leon needs to hear this?
• 46:12
  Fucking yes. Like it's probably just one of
• 46:15
  those moments in life where it's
• 46:18
  walking on egg shells around you
• 46:20
  gloves. Everyone's kind of over it and
• 46:23
  you're going to. You're alienating people.
• 46:27
  Another thing to point out with the word that he uses being
• 46:30
  sweet, you may be struggling, but you really need to be sweet
• 46:36
  with everybody else. It's a very odd word to pick and
• 46:43
  I don't think a lot of us would use that word in a similar
• 46:47
  situation. I think if I was saying that,
• 46:49
  I'd be like, you may be struggling, but you really need
• 46:51
  to be kind with everybody else.
• 46:54
  I don't know another parent that would just automatically go to.
• 46:58
  You need to be sweet.
• 47:00
  Right. With everybody else, it's just a
• 47:04
  very strange word to jump to out
• 47:08
  words and the English language.
• 47:11
  So yeah, he's basically Leon. Keep sweet.
• 47:16
  Yep, little Warren Jeffs vibes in there.
• 47:18
  It doesn't matter what you're going through.
• 47:20
  And it's obviously a spectrum, right?
• 47:22
  If you're upset about every single thing and everything's
• 47:24
  driving you nuts, you know, take a moment and evaluate.
• 47:27
  And he literally suggests to Leon, if you're getting upset,
• 47:34
  Come back when you're a little more able to go with the flow.
• 47:43
  Yeah, which? We know they're great at.
• 47:45
  So many better ways to phrase it than keeping sweet and having a
• 47:49
  chipper disposition. I think the suggestion and the
• 47:59
  I probably needed to hear it at some point.
• 48:01
  I'm sure my dad was like, you know what?
• 48:03
  If you were just a little nicer, people would be a little nicer
• 48:07
  people are probably just going to have to hear in life.
• 48:10
  Kinder to them, softer to them, nicer to them, sweet.
• 48:15
  And he uses sweet so much. They all do in, but particularly
• 48:22
  So many uses of the word sweet. It was sweet and she was sweet
• 48:29
  different word? It's so obnoxious.
• 48:30
  I think that I've only described a strawberry that way before.
• 48:33
  Right. Like I would assume I would
• 48:35
  describe food as sweet. Or if someone did something
• 48:39
  really really nice for me, I might be like that's so sweet,
• 48:43
  Very strange. No, it's a very odd use of the
• 48:49
  Well, Speaking of culty, we're going to go back to the Brown
• 48:53
  family called a Sack Woo. And it's Christmas morning on
• 48:58
  January 2nd. Meri is hoping that since it's a
• 49:06
  miracle and get into the home. And Meri's been sitting by that
• 49:13
  pager, I mean phone, waiting for that call.
• 49:17
  Technically, it's a business day, she says.
• 49:20
  Technically, it's a business day, and everyone's gathering at
• 49:26
  There's children, there's adults, there's presents,
• 49:29
  presents, presents, presents. And Kody tells us that they're a
• 49:37
  that's 66 presents to be all around.
• 49:39
  And yeah, there's a lot of presents.
• 49:42
  It didn't seem crazy to me because they are a large family.
• 49:46
  presents for a lot of people. I don't really get if that was
• 49:49
  directed by a producer director like prompted because it didn't
• 49:53
  seem strange to me. I don't know.
• 49:56
  It does look insane because they
• 49:59
  like from the balcony. Yeah.
• 50:01
  So from like the top shot, it looks like a ton of presents.
• 50:05
  It looks like Whoville people and the presents and the big
• 50:09
  tree and yeah. And truly scrumptious is little
• 50:12
  Cindy Lou. Little Cindy Lou Who with her
• 50:15
  little whisper hair, our favorite of them all.
• 50:19
  The kids are all opening their
• 50:21
  There's a lot of excitement. I didn't see a lot of people
• 50:24
  eating crepes, so unfortunately we never saw where.
• 50:26
  Saint Lucia's Day. Oh, I guess that must have been
• 50:28
  a different day. I don't know, I'm confused.
• 50:30
  It's so hard with Joseph Smith's
• 50:34
  Christmas and Saint Lucia's Day.
• 50:35
  There's so many. Hanukkah.
• 50:36
  And Hanukkah that they couldn't even fit that in this year.
• 50:40
  There was just so many holidays and it's tough to keep track.
• 50:43
  One person that they show getting a gift that I thought
• 50:47
  was adorable was Gabe. And there is like a towel or a
• 50:54
  going to we're going to reveal your gift, Gabe.
• 50:57
  And they pull it up and it's a brand new bike.
• 51:01
  And Gabe's reaction's really cute.
• 51:03
  And it was just cute how the siblings got in on hiding the
• 51:06
  bike without wrapping it and pulling the cloth away.
• 51:09
  Yeah. Yeah, it was a cute moment.
• 51:13
  And then America's favorite sister, wife Robyn, tells Kody
• 51:20
  The Christmas spirit is inside of her and just leaking out of
• 51:29
  choked up. He takes a pause and he pulls
• 51:33
  out a piece of paper, more pieces of paper for gifts.
• 51:37
  But this piece of paper is actually a Social Security card
• 51:41
  that says Robyn Alice Brown. He announces to everyone the
• 51:47
  gift. It's a Social Security card.
• 51:49
  She's changed her name and here is a certificate saying she did
• 51:53
  so. And it's so great because they
• 52:00
  you know, not a sarcastic, you know, asshole thing, but
• 52:05
  literally just like, yay, slow clap.
• 52:07
  And I'm like, Oh my God, so good.
• 52:10
  And of course, Kody and Robyn hug and they kiss.
• 52:13
  They do a little kiss in front of the other sister wives
• 52:16
  breaking the rules. And it was quite a moment,
• 52:20
  Christine yells from the side. That's so cool.
• 52:22
  And I went, why? Why is everything cool?
• 52:27
  Why is everything real and cool? It's so cool.
• 52:30
  It's so real, but it's cool. Like why?
• 52:32
  They have a little tidbit of Kody talking and he says it's
• 52:38
  probably the biggest surprise I've ever had.
• 52:41
  It shocked and awed me, shocked and on me.
• 52:45
  It takes a lot to shock and awe Kody.
• 52:48
  He's he's hard to impress. And then, like, we cannot just
• 52:58
  Yeah, I didn't catch if it was blurred or not.
• 53:03
  It'd be fun to go freeze frame it and capture that number and
• 53:08
  See this maybe? Like brand new please.
• 53:11
  Report yourself to the FBI's Most Wanted list for most debt
• 53:18
  if you tried to steal her Social Security number.
• 53:20
  It's a little odd. They've shown large checks to
• 53:24
  the camera, and obviously the cameras blurred them.
• 53:27
  Now they're showing a Social Security card and it's like you
• 53:30
  tell motherfuckers. Stop.
• 53:32
  Stop showing your PPI or your PII or whatever.
• 53:35
  Trying to lose your own identities.
• 53:37
  We know it's been a rough go, OK, we know you've been
• 53:41
  separated for two plus years. But please, nobody wants to be
• 53:49
  They have struggled and they have had so many ups and downs
• 53:56
  Christ Almighty, for real. As we know, Kimber gladly
• 54:00
  accepts that information. Only if you fall in love with me
• 54:08
  importance of all of them having the same last name, even if
• 54:12
  they're not legally married. You know, it's to signify that
• 54:18
  A kept woman Christian says that most women in plural marriage do
• 54:27
  super important to her because of her children and having the
• 54:37
  It seems to be a thing, right? Now Robyn Shit Stain Brown is
• 54:43
  now dubbed Robyn Alice Brown of the Brown family, fourth wife of
• 54:55
  Queen of the Brown family called.
• 54:59
  Us I'm supposed to add I'm supposed to add Queen of the
• 55:03
  Browns is. There a gas leak in here?
• 55:06
  Are we at Robyn's house? I'm.
• 55:07
  Just acting out what I'm. Are we victims of her Munchausen
• 55:14
  covenant between them, between Kody, the wives, and God.
• 55:18
  So, you know, even though they're not legally married,
• 55:21
  them taking his last name as a covenant between him, them and
• 55:26
  We see all of their gorgeous wedding photos again, and the
• 55:31
  waterfall flowers, and Meri's wedding and the little workout
• 55:39
  flowers. Got to have the waterfall
• 55:42
  flowers. Was that in the gymnasium where
• 55:43
  they got married? Yes, the gymnasium and then over
• 55:50
  It's a biblically sanctified marriage.
• 55:54
  It was a big dull to me, a big dill.
• 56:00
  So you know, Robyn changing her name and giving him a Social
• 56:04
  Security card on Christmas morning was a big dill.
• 56:07
  Very touching, very moving. The baby Jesus wept.
• 56:10
  But fuck all the work that these women have done to get these
• 56:14
  homes because you know what? These homes were a gift from
• 56:18
  God. Yes, Kody let's the whole family
• 56:30
  This is the biggest gift our family could ever receive
• 56:34
  outside of our relationships with each other and of course
• 56:38
  the testimony from God. Yeah, he's basically telling his
• 56:45
  Always appreciate it. Always be thankful for it.
• 56:48
  Like, do not forget where this comes from.
• 56:50
  Do not forget your roots. This is the follow up from when
• 56:54
  he started that last episode. He said you should all respect
• 56:59
  And so now he's just continuing the story.
• 57:01
  You know, respect the homes, respect us that only the
• 57:04
  testimony from God should be more than this.
• 57:07
  Very moving. So after opening the 666 gifts
• 57:22
  stay up for this caramel competition quote.
• 57:27
  As a man getting caramels from all of his four wives because he
• 57:47
  Wow, so make sure you add that to the Sister Wives playlist on
• 57:55
  Spotify. Chris, Eye of the Tiger.
• 57:57
  We hear how each of their journeys has been going in this
• 58:03
  Carmel River. Christine's have all burned.
• 58:07
  Christine has borrowed so much Karo syrup from Janelle for her
• 58:13
  burnt batches that Janelle has noticed the syrepa missing.
• 58:18
  Christine's first two batches were destroyed by her own
• 58:21
  incompetence, so she's on her third batch making these
• 58:24
  caramel. She's going to make these
• 58:26
  caramel so good. Janelle's cooking with her mom,
• 58:30
  and you know, that's that. Cooking with their mom?
• 58:34
  Noticing or missing syrup. Pretty sure hers were the ones
• 58:42
  Nice. Wet.
• 58:43
  And Christine is focusing really hard on making the proper
• 58:49
  caramel because Christine gets accused of cheating all the
• 58:53
  time. Oh yeah, she's a cheetah.
• 58:55
  And so she's kind of trying to vindicate herself.
• 58:58
  And this is when Meri and Robyn keep going on and on about how
• 59:09
  right now and they talk about Christine and how Christine's a
• 59:14
  cheater. Maybe we should nap instead of
• 59:28
  So they go and have a nap and then they go to a store and
• 59:38
  they're just like, Meri says to the clerk.
• 59:43
  How's the dill? We have a caramel competition
• 59:47
  going on. We have to have the best
• 59:51
  caramels and Robyn this whole time is like chittering.
• 59:55
  Can't stop giggling. I thought she was high.
• 59:58
  I thought she was too. It's like this it.
• 1:00:00
  Was weird. She throws herself on the
• 1:00:03
  counter at one point, kind of half.
• 1:00:05
  Like what? And Meri's describing to the
• 1:00:08
  clerk how she's going to pass their caramels off as their own,
• 1:00:15
  Yeah, and as if it's even that exciting.
• 1:00:17
  Or anyone. Cares.
• 1:00:18
  Oh my God, It's like they're the first people to ever be let in
• 1:00:23
  And they're like dying laughing. Totally.
• 1:00:25
  And then Meri says lies are always OK as long as you tell
• 1:00:30
  the truth later. Oh, interesting.
• 1:00:32
  God Forgives all. Now, darling, you glossed over a
• 1:00:38
  When Meri and Robyn are in the kitchen discussing how they're
• 1:00:45
  unfortunate store has some caramel caramel, Excuse me?
• 1:00:48
  They joke about your husband, which I loved cause Meri's like,
• 1:00:56
  And then Robyn's like, Oh no, no, no, he's your husband.
• 1:00:59
  And I kind of thought it was, I don't know, it stuck out to me
• 1:01:04
  Well. Perhaps like it was a little pre
• 1:01:09
  But yeah, it's your husband, not mine.
• 1:01:11
  Oh, I don't have a husband either.
• 1:01:12
  It's your husband. You know what I'm saying?
• 1:01:15
  When the husband's away, the sister wives will play.
• 1:01:18
  And so you know, is this significant?
• 1:01:21
  No, but I just wanted to mention it because your husband, your
• 1:01:25
  husband. I actually thought it was a
• 1:01:27
  little funny and kind of like, when in life are you ever going
• 1:01:30
  to have the opportunity to say your husband?
• 1:01:31
  It's like, no. It was kind of funny because
• 1:01:33
  they were like, why did your husband make us do this?
• 1:01:36
  I don't know. He's not my husband.
• 1:01:37
  He's your husband. Why did your husband make us do
• 1:01:40
  this? It was.
• 1:01:40
  Funny. It is funny because people
• 1:01:41
  always say that about the children, right?
• 1:01:43
  Like, well, your child, blah blah blah.
• 1:01:45
  It's like your child as well. So I thought that bit was a
• 1:01:48
  little funny. Did it warrant Robyn barreling
• 1:01:53
  No. But it was funny.
• 1:01:55
  She wasn't even like cute laughing by this point.
• 1:01:57
  It was like ugly laughter, like. Yeah, she was high this whole
• 1:02:02
  time. It's ridiculous.
• 1:02:03
  Yeah. After the store, they arrived
• 1:02:04
  back at Robyn's house to try to doctor up these unfortunate
• 1:02:08
  store bought caramels. Caramels to look homemade and
• 1:02:11
  their approach is a little like are you effing kidding me?
• 1:02:16
  I mean, it seems like they were talking about rolling them and I
• 1:02:23
  them. And Meri says, well, they're
• 1:02:25
  just like this, but they're flattened.
• 1:02:27
  So they start like warming the caramels up in their hands and
• 1:02:34
  their hands. Yeah, yeah.
• 1:02:36
  And it's like, just imagine, like the sweaty hands, like
• 1:02:38
  smashing the caramels and then everyone unrolling the caramels
• 1:02:41
  and creating them. You're going to be as wet as
• 1:02:44
  Janelle's caramel caramel. Nothing's wetter than that
• 1:02:47
  caramel. Nothing's wetter than Janelle's
• 1:02:49
  caramel, it looked. Damp.
• 1:02:52
  As musty as Robyn's basement now, Robyn tells us.
• 1:02:58
  I'd make a horrible shoplifter. I'm too nervous in her stupor
• 1:03:05
  because she's laughing like an uncontrollable idiot.
• 1:03:09
  She's like a hyena this entire. Oh, it's so disturbing.
• 1:03:12
  And you know, what crossed my mind was, you know, Robyn, you
• 1:03:24
  than going into a store and just slipping something in her
• 1:03:31
  She's not smart enough to do it, so she has to do what we all
• 1:03:36
  fucking hate most in the world and ask a man to embezzle and do
• 1:03:44
  She just plays innocent even though she's playing the puppet
• 1:03:48
  strings and she gets it all. She's got that Kody wrapped
• 1:03:52
  around her little disgusting finger cut to the taste test of
• 1:03:57
  these caramels. Oh, everyone's been, I know you
• 1:03:59
  all have been waiting for the outcome of this competition.
• 1:04:02
  Everyone's been waiting on the edge of their seat.
• 1:04:05
  What's going to happen? What's going to happen?
• 1:04:08
  This is where I just wrote because we're they're showing us
• 1:04:14
  taste test. Was it a paper plate?
• 1:04:16
  It's just. A plate and all I wrote is 1 is
• 1:04:20
  wet. There definitely was a wet one
• 1:04:29
  It is glossy. It is shiny.
• 1:04:31
  There might be droplets of wetness on it.
• 1:04:34
  It left a snail trail on the blade.
• 1:04:36
  It sure did. When Kody puts these caramels in
• 1:04:42
  the first one that he tries is a bit soft and he didn't say
• 1:04:47
  that it was wet and he didn't say that it slipped out of his
• 1:04:51
  mouth and he had to put it back in.
• 1:04:52
  But. It was soft.
• 1:04:54
  It was soft #2 not to be confused with the bowel movement
• 1:05:00
  was very yummy. He thought it tasted great, but
• 1:05:04
  it wasn't as wet as his mom's or
• 1:05:07
  sure. And it tasted different than his
• 1:05:10
  mom's. When he popped that caramel in
• 1:05:11
  his mouth, he said this doesn't taste like my mother's caramel.
• 1:05:17
  And Kody questions them if it's either of their mom's recipes.
• 1:05:21
  Robyn, is this your mom's recipe?
• 1:05:23
  Meri, is this your mom's recipe?
• 1:05:25
  And it's like Kody, get these women's mother's recipes out of
• 1:05:28
  your mouth. Roger keeps saying because it's
• 1:05:32
  walnuts, not pecans or something.
• 1:05:34
  Yeah, it's these nuts, not those nuts.
• 1:05:36
  Like who gives a fuck? Puts nuts in their caramel first
• 1:05:43
  to caramel so I don't know anything about this.
• 1:05:45
  Chris told me a story after we met.
• 1:05:48
  Betty was allergic to caramel. And then obviously I kind of
• 1:05:52
  like what how can that be? And he admitted that it was a.
• 1:05:58
  You know, you could tell the lie as long as you ask for
• 1:06:00
  forgiveness. Yeah.
• 1:06:01
  The true story is when I was a young child, I made-up that I
• 1:06:04
  was allergic to caramel because I'm not actually that much of a
• 1:06:07
  fan. Now as an adult, I'll eat some
• 1:06:11
  like it. And people would always be like
• 1:06:13
  pushing caramel, especially when you're a kid.
• 1:06:15
  They're just. Pusher.
• 1:06:16
  They are pushers. They're like pop that Werther's
• 1:06:18
  in your mouth. And I'm like, it's wet and
• 1:06:20
  tastes like my mother. Like I don't like it.
• 1:06:22
  You know, it's it's it's I just, I made-up that I was allergic to
• 1:06:28
  like, you have to eat this. And I'd be like, I don't want
• 1:06:31
  to. You're not.
• 1:06:32
  How many times did people try to force to do caramel the child
• 1:06:37
  they felt the need to lie? It happened enough times for me
• 1:06:42
  to fabricate a story that I was allergic to caramel so people
• 1:06:46
  would stop forcing it on me. It was terrible.
• 1:06:50
  What's so funny is that people used to be obsessed.
• 1:06:54
  With Werthers, yes, I'm telling you it's part of my childhood.
• 1:07:00
  It followed me for years and years because I would just tell
• 1:07:03
  people I'm allergic. Of course, eventually you get
• 1:07:05
  old enough for people start putting the pieces together that
• 1:07:09
  And I'm like, I don't know, I'm allergic to it.
• 1:07:11
  I I have no idea. But of course as an.
• 1:07:14
  Adult. It's just kind of like some
• 1:07:17
  other wet things. I just have not gone there.
• 1:07:20
  I don't like it. Get it out of my face, get it
• 1:07:23
  out of my mouth. But.
• 1:07:24
  There's a good where there's and there's a bad where there's the
• 1:07:28
  good where there's it's a little moist has a give to it.
• 1:07:34
  That's like a hard candy almost. And I'm dying because that you
• 1:07:41
  Like on the counters everywhere. Your grandma had em, your mom
• 1:07:45
  had em. Remember the commercials?
• 1:07:46
  Like yes, the grandpa giving it to the grandson my Werther's
• 1:07:50
  original. True.
• 1:07:52
  Yeah. Oh my God.
• 1:07:53
  Memory's unlocked. Right.
• 1:07:54
  And I was going, I'm allergic to that shit.
• 1:07:56
  I'm scared. Oh my God.
• 1:07:58
  Obviously as an adult I came clean and said no, I just don't
• 1:08:01
  like it. Please stop putting it in my
• 1:08:03
  mouth. Can you guys tell us what
• 1:08:05
  happened to Werther's? Did the Browns get a hold of
• 1:08:08
  their factory for these caramels of theirs?
• 1:08:10
  Yes, they actually went to the factory and Werther's is no
• 1:08:13
  longer a thing. It got browned down, shut down.
• 1:08:17
  Brown to the ground.
• 1:08:19
  Now, according to Kody, the third caramel he tried was just
• 1:08:24
  right. Just like the porridge in the
• 1:08:26
  bed, in the chair. And whatever happened to, is it
• 1:08:28
  Goldilocks in the Three Bears?
• 1:08:32
  I said it and I thought that I
• 1:08:36
  put down the hair from the tower.
• 1:08:37
  And so I was like, oh, that's not even the right one.
• 1:08:39
  And it's like, no, Chris, it was
• 1:08:41
  It was the right one. We were talking about the
• 1:08:43
  mattresses that they were trying.
• 1:08:45
  Yes. Well, was it a pee under the
• 1:08:47
  mattress? The Princess and the pee
• 1:08:49
  Princess. There was just so many things
• 1:08:51
  happening and someone was trying
• 1:08:53
  throat and I said enough, enough, enough.
• 1:08:56
  I don't want your cream savers
• 1:09:03
  I'm strictly chocolate. I like.
• 1:09:06
  Milk chocolate. I like milk chocolate better
• 1:09:09
  than dark chocolate, but there's
• 1:09:12
  kinds of chocolate. Just nothing.
• 1:09:13
  Strawberry. That third caramel hit Kody in
• 1:09:16
  all the right places. It tasted just like his mother's
• 1:09:19
  caramel. And turns out that that third
• 1:09:23
  one was Christine's caramel. She got it right.
• 1:09:27
  She won once, not by cheating,
• 1:09:33
  caramel. All she had to do was try, try,
• 1:09:38
  try again. Which is how you get better,
• 1:09:41
  rat. Thanks, Racine.
• 1:09:42
  That's how you get better, rat.
• 1:09:44
  Thanks, Racine. If she had tried as hard to be a
• 1:09:49
  Honestly. She might be the Mauricio
• 1:09:52
  Obansky of today's world, but. It is honestly, you know,
• 1:09:55
  Caramel's not easy to make. Listen, I've never tried.
• 1:09:57
  I was allergic. Burns.
• 1:09:59
  Burns so easily. Yeah.
• 1:10:01
  Like your nostrils would have just burned up inside because of
• 1:10:05
  It's bring me the EpiPen. Very hard to make.
• 1:10:08
  I'm a Baker, I love to bake. I would never attempt to make my
• 1:10:23
  Right. I've never met another person
• 1:10:25
  allergic to caramel. I know like I think you, I think
• 1:10:30
  What a magical moment for everyone listening to be able to
• 1:10:35
  Kind of a big deal. Thank you for being here on our
• 1:10:38
  Christmas morning. So in this back and forth, they
• 1:10:41
  do give a pan over to Janelle where she's tasting one of Robyn
• 1:10:53
  taste buds of a. What true trash eater?
• 1:10:57
  Because I'm like, yeah, that fakey fake taste of the fake
• 1:11:01
  sugar and the fake this and fake that.
• 1:11:04
  Like yeah, you can tell. Yeah, you can tell she's been
• 1:11:07
  there. She's popped that in her mouth.
• 1:11:09
  Before a fellow Dorito fan.
• 1:11:11
  At this point we have a couch moment where Meri and Robyn
• 1:11:14
  confessed to everything that they did and when they started
• 1:11:18
  talking I'm like they don't know.
• 1:11:19
  They don't know like this didn't
• 1:11:21
  Like how is this not a thing? But it really feels like the
• 1:11:25
  other wives didn't actually know
• 1:11:28
  they're confessing or when Meri's confessing.
• 1:11:30
  Robyn is laughing uncontrollably, like she is not
• 1:11:34
  able to usher even a sentence fragment.
• 1:11:36
  It is just. Like she was, Yeah, when they
• 1:11:39
  were buying them with the clerk.
• 1:11:40
  This is the funniest thing that's ever happened to Robyn in
• 1:11:44
  Like a teenager with her best friend that's like giggling in
• 1:11:50
  giggle fits going on. Yeah, meanwhile she's a mother
• 1:11:56
  Yeah, and while this ridiculous exchange is happening, Kody
• 1:11:59
  decides to get up and abruptly leave the couch out of fake
• 1:12:03
  protest that they would even try to pass off a store bought
• 1:12:07
  Carmel for the kind his mother used to nurse him with.
• 1:12:11
  This brings about a wonderful opportunity for Christine to
• 1:12:15
  talk about the family mission statement.
• 1:12:17
  In case you've missed it, we've been drafting this family
• 1:12:22
  mission statement for a hot minute.
• 1:12:24
  It's been going on and going on. Don't forget that for Joseph
• 1:12:28
  Smith's birthday, Christine gave them pieces of paper with their
• 1:12:31
  name and what they, as individuals, contributed to
• 1:12:33
  their first brainstorming session.
• 1:12:35
  Now we're coming back for session #2 and Janelle is so
• 1:12:39
  excited. She is enthused as ever.
• 1:12:42
  Meanwhile, I see Robyn about to start breastfeeding Saul and
• 1:12:46
  then they cut back to Christine. And so it feels very unnecessary
• 1:12:51
  And Christine goes, what's our and goal?
• 1:12:55
  What's our end goal, everybody? What's our end goal?
• 1:12:59
  Well, Janelle says. I still don't see the end goal
• 1:13:04
  She does she.
• 1:13:05
  Doesn't see the end. She does say that about their
• 1:13:07
  activity. Not sure that anyone really
• 1:13:10
  responds to that. I didn't track other than when
• 1:13:13
  the kids were giving sarcastic
• 1:13:16
  are being Pooh Pooh heads. Yeah, they were referring to.
• 1:13:21
  The children as Pooh Pooh heads and they literally showed
• 1:13:23
  Hunter on the ground being like blah blah blah blah blah like
• 1:13:27
  no one cares except for Christine she really cares.
• 1:13:31
  They decide that they're going
• 1:13:35
  that they want reflected and write them on one piece of paper
• 1:13:39
  and that they're going to work
• 1:13:41
  there. And Robyn is fighting for them
• 1:13:44
  not to remove the word financial
• 1:13:49
  mission statement. Well, we need financial and I'm
• 1:13:53
  like, yeah, you do you money hungry whore.
• 1:13:56
  She is adamant that they keep financial.
• 1:13:59
  She doesn't want to let that go.
• 1:14:01
  It's very important to her that their family is financially OK,
• 1:14:05
  and it's just interesting. It's weird because financial
• 1:14:09
  stability is a fundamental building block for a lot of
• 1:14:13
  families. It's not that she's wrong and
• 1:14:15
  not having some sort of addressing something where
• 1:14:18
  you're talking about maybe success or doing your best,
• 1:14:20
  because there's ways that you can talk about finances without
• 1:14:23
  actually talking about the finances, right?
• 1:14:25
  Like we always strive to do our best, we achieve our goals, we
• 1:14:35
  We make enough to send our kids to college.
• 1:14:39
  Education is important, so we work towards finances for
• 1:14:43
  education or financing education.
• 1:14:45
  Hello, financing education. She doesn't even deduce it to
• 1:14:52
  anything like truly integral to the family's morals.
• 1:14:55
  Yeah, and their goals that they've said from the beginning
• 1:14:58
  that every kid needs to go to college, and she does.
• 1:15:00
  Yeah. Can't connect those dots.
• 1:15:02
  No, no. I don't know that that even
• 1:15:05
  wrapped anywhere. I feel like the scene just kind
• 1:15:06
  of ended. Was there any tie up to all
• 1:15:09
  this? No.
• 1:15:09
  Yeah, it just kind of stopped and then all of a sudden we're
• 1:15:14
  So like, OK, that was just a scene and.
• 1:15:16
  We've been getting a lot of whiplash again.
• 1:15:19
  Yeah, this episode. And we find out that it's
• 1:15:22
  January 3rd, so it is the day after their holiday.
• 1:15:24
  Excuse me, Their Christmas party and Mona is going to meet them
• 1:15:31
  So Meri finally did get some good news.
• 1:15:34
  She's been approved. She's getting the keys, and it's
• 1:15:38
  When they get to the house, they're inside and they're
• 1:15:41
  signing documents on the island. And I was wondering, could they
• 1:15:45
  see the paperwork with those uneven pendants?
• 1:15:46
  Could they even see what they were signing?
• 1:15:49
  It's all just a mystery. Oh my gosh.
• 1:15:52
  And Mona sounds so excited to be done with them.
• 1:15:55
  Like she's literally like, just so glad we could get this done
• 1:16:00
  Yeah, Kody's like, Mona, you're a trooper.
• 1:16:03
  And it's two years into this. She's been working with them for
• 1:16:13
  them for two whole years. And she looks like Mona, looks
• 1:16:24
  This is it. It's like the end of a chapter
• 1:16:28
  Home, I'm going home and I if I remember correctly, Mona helped
• 1:16:32
  them get into the rentals. So she did this is it.
• 1:16:35
  They've been working with her since they were residents of
• 1:16:38
  Utah, criminals in Utah. And then they did their what is
• 1:16:41
  it called when you go across the desert, they're Exodus.
• 1:16:44
  Voyage. Whatever the Jews did to get out
• 1:16:49
  They took their pilgrimage to Las Vegas to live down the
• 1:16:54
  street from Robyn's bearded mother and her stepdaddy uncle.
• 1:16:57
  And Mona's been there for them
• 1:17:00
  the entire time. God bless Mona.
• 1:17:03
  And she's finally going to be able to put down all the
• 1:17:06
  disguises and just be her normal
• 1:17:10
  doesn't want to have to hide from the Browns and not let
• 1:17:13
  them know who she really is. Yep, I'm going to miss her.
• 1:17:17
  Because who she really is probably violates their sacred
• 1:17:21
  covenants and testimonies from
• 1:17:23
  Yeah, those crystals, those nipple tassels.
• 1:17:27
  In the arms of the angels. In Memoriam In memoriam for
• 1:17:33
  Mona, it's like she's still alive.
• 1:17:34
  We're just mourning the loss of this fabulous character.
• 1:17:37
  I am just mourning the loss of
• 1:17:43
  You know, like all of the versions of her I dream of
• 1:17:46
  Jeannie's mom, biker chick, Christmas.
• 1:17:50
  Yes, blossom, fortune teller, Goddess nipple.
• 1:17:57
  Queen nipple. Queen.
• 1:18:01
  Yes, Mona. I chant in the woods and moon.
• 1:18:06
  Charge. Moon Charge.
• 1:18:08
  Wound Charge. I chant in the woods and moon
• 1:18:10
  charge my pussy. Mona.
• 1:18:12
  Yes. I'm just going to miss every
• 1:18:14
  version of Mona. Mona hard hat Mona was one of my
• 1:18:17
  favorites. Hard hat, Mona.
• 1:18:19
  Yes. No, don't leave us.
• 1:18:21
  Don't leave us with these people, Mona.
• 1:18:23
  Don't leave us with the Browns.
• 1:18:25
  She's like, I'm going home and we're like, we're still here.
• 1:18:27
  We're at the Brown family. Cul-de-sac, help us, help us.
• 1:18:30
  Our abysmal jail that we've made for ourselves in these boots
• 1:18:35
  that we record. Yes, we've built our own prison
• 1:18:37
  and now we're living in. It I'm in a curtained box of
• 1:18:41
  emotion. Oh God.
• 1:18:41
  Oh no. Oh no.
• 1:18:43
  Step Brothers. Hot off the heels of Mona
• 1:18:45
  slipping a caramel in her. Oh, sorry, I'm getting my scenes
• 1:18:51
  workplace to surprise them with the news.
• 1:18:55
  Oh, those little devils. They spoke to Leon's manager
• 1:18:59
  previously and worked something out so that Leon could leave
• 1:19:02
  work to go see the house. There's going to be coverage for
• 1:19:08
  The owner. Oh, the owner.
• 1:19:10
  Excuse me, not manager, owner. Leon must have the wool pulled
• 1:19:15
  Does that mean? It's kind of embarrassing when
• 1:19:23
  So it's just like. Right.
• 1:19:24
  Like I would have been in their juvenile and then during it been
• 1:19:33
  Like seriously. Leon is probably the type of
• 1:19:36
  person that has had Meri call in sick for them before though.
• 1:19:39
  Oh my. God totally.
• 1:19:40
  That's why I'm like oh this just gives me the cringe really hard
• 1:19:44
  because I feel like it seemed like Meri and Kody were friends
• 1:19:49
  with said boss and owner they. Sure, Familiar enough.
• 1:19:54
  Yeah, my parents wouldn't have been calling my McDonald's
• 1:19:57
  manager when I was 15 to tell them they're 1617, to say, oh,
• 1:20:04
  house. They would have been like the
• 1:20:06
  you want Chris to have a job after today?
• 1:20:08
  Chris needs the sticks. He's the best at getting the
• 1:20:10
  fries out from under the fryer, bitch.
• 1:20:12
  Exactly. I was the fry king.
• 1:20:13
  They're like, we can't make those caramel sundaes without
• 1:20:16
  him. I would like to let everybody in
• 1:20:23
  working. Christopher, what the fuck did
• 1:20:30
  McDonald's ice cream machines not working because of my lies
• 1:20:36
  Oh, I have a caramel infection. Oh God.
• 1:20:40
  Meri tells us that Leon was the happiest she's seen them in a
• 1:20:44
  very long time. Oh, how touching.
• 1:20:47
  I wish I was moved. And then we immediately cut to
• 1:20:53
  things from Meri's rental to her home.
• 1:20:56
  They're playing dramatic, somber Christmas music, something about
• 1:21:05
  homes, they put in a clip of Kody saying that he thinks this
• 1:21:10
  was their best Christmas ever and then they show clips from
• 1:21:16
  the cabin Christmas from two years ago.
• 1:21:19
  Yes. And.
• 1:21:21
  When they were all sick at that cabin.
• 1:21:23
  They were all sick, yes, but they choose to show clip after
• 1:21:33
  the foggy border. So it's obviously like we're
• 1:21:36
  looking into the past. Mona's nipple rings are letting
• 1:21:39
  us look into the past and they're just showing crying
• 1:21:44
  clips of this Cabin Christmas. And they're happy tears.
• 1:21:48
  You motherfucking liars. You just expect us to forget how
• 1:21:57
  into the cabin on that sled. She almost broke her leg.
• 1:22:00
  She. Made everyone's PJ's still.
• 1:22:02
  Yes, they set up that tree that was so tall that it was like, oh
• 1:22:09
  They had to take the snowmobiles up to the house at first.
• 1:22:12
  There were so many beautiful things with that house.
• 1:22:15
  The hot tub, the ice dams that Kody was breaking down.
• 1:22:18
  See Fond memories, A beautiful Christmas, and they're playing
• 1:22:27
  Before. This this is the saddest thing
• 1:22:32
  And they're, it's just weird. It's like, this was a good time.
• 1:22:36
  As if they didn't fucking shoot the show and show us what they
• 1:22:39
  had shot. It's just like, I don't know,
• 1:22:42
  these editors are nuts. Like they must be nuts.
• 1:22:45
  Well, they think we're idiots,
• 1:22:48
  but we're not that dumb. No, we remember this Christmas.
• 1:22:52
  It reminds me it was better than
• 1:22:54
  child. I.
• 1:22:55
  Know like I was jealous of that Christmas.
• 1:22:57
  I was jealous of that Brown family Christmas I.
• 1:23:00
  Was you know. Yes.
• 1:23:02
  If I could just stay at a chalet
• 1:23:06
  happy. Oh well, one of these days,
• 1:23:08
  honey, we will. We'll record an episode from a
• 1:23:17
  Hold our own cult following gathering at a chalet up in the
• 1:23:23
  mountains for the deadbeat loser family.
• 1:23:26
  Yes. We should.
• 1:23:27
  That's our goal, cult. This is a good idea.
• 1:23:30
  A good goal. If you guys want us to start a
• 1:23:36
  a cult circle. Encourage others to join our
• 1:23:38
  cult once it started. Of course, now we're not going
• 1:23:42
  top of this. It's actually going to happen.
• 1:23:51
  Well, never. Never say never.
• 1:23:53
  I mean. I could quit all of my other
• 1:23:55
  ambitions and just do the cult. There are times when I truly do
• 1:23:59
  wonder why I am such great friends with the largest member
• 1:24:03
  of the manosphere, and perhaps it's cult vibes.
• 1:24:05
  Are you saying that I have natural leader vibes?
• 1:24:09
  I think that's what I just heard.
• 1:24:11
  I think I heard that I should be the leader of A this I'm I'm I'm
• 1:24:18
  gift to myself. I'm starting a cult.
• 1:24:21
  Perfect. To wrap up this episode,
• 1:24:24
  Christine tells us that plural families can't buy homes
• 1:24:27
  together. It's just not done.
• 1:24:29
  And Kody says we found a way. And Christine responds.
• 1:24:35
  It's a miracle. Kody says we found a way to
• 1:24:40
  exist in a plural family in a monogamous world.
• 1:24:44
  And that's how we wrap up the Christmas in July.
• 1:24:46
  I mean, excuse me, Christmas in January episode from the Browns.
• 1:24:52
  all was the next episode. Coming up on I got.
• 1:24:59
  Up on at the end. I got a little chubby you guys.
• 1:25:01
  I'm really excited. I got to head some blood flowing
• 1:25:04
  to my previously caramel covered
• 1:25:07
  I can't remember what the first part was, but the second part
• 1:25:11
  was Robyn standing in a family
• 1:25:15
  looks like a Laura Ingalls Wilder school.
• 1:25:17
  Teacher a floral silkish skirt
• 1:25:23
  with another long sleeve sweater
• 1:25:25
  Yes, and when she says skirt she
• 1:25:28
  Ankle length skirt like. Curtains.
• 1:25:30
  She is not looking like a 16 year old Aeropostale pusher.
• 1:25:37
  She is looking like a purity speech busher.
• 1:25:43
  Purity Pusher. Purity busher, yes.
• 1:25:48
  You guys, it's an episode we've all been waiting for and we're
• 1:25:51
  very excited about. I'm titillated, my caramel is
• 1:25:55
  wet, and I'm ready to hear Robyn
• 1:26:00
  How do we go from white wedding night negligee over a long
• 1:26:07
  sleeve top? This.
• 1:26:10
  Yeah, she looks like a Sunday school teacher.
• 1:26:12
  Well, they are in church in their, you know, family room
• 1:26:15
  because there's no real church, because it's a cult.
• 1:26:17
  And she's there to spread the gospel, not spread her legs.
• 1:26:22
  The opposite. Get that caramel wet enough to
• 1:26:25
  tack those legs together and keep your purity intact.
• 1:26:29
  I am imagining Kody treating his
• 1:26:34
  and having spotlights up top that Hunter and Logan have to
• 1:26:38
  be in charge of. And he's like, when the lights
• 1:26:40
  are on me, No, no, look at me,
• 1:26:43
  When the lights are on me, I am a different person.
• 1:26:46
  I am your prophet, Kody Brown.
• 1:26:50
  Prophet from the Brown family cul-de-sac.
• 1:26:53
  I mean, what else would a narcissist do?
• 1:26:55
  It's really moving to me. Touching, in fact.
• 1:26:58
  It mirrors. What I'm going to do is starting
• 1:26:59
  a cult. Speaking of Janelle's sweet wet
• 1:27:04
  caramel, it's time for mustard
• 1:27:09
  And our mustard seed, rather than just being a seed put into
• 1:27:12
  the ground, will be a caramel covered mustard seed this
• 1:27:15
  episode. And you know, ladies first, of
• 1:27:18
  course. My caramel covered mustard seed
• 1:27:25
  is going to go to. I am going to give it to Kody.
• 1:27:33
  Hey, hold on, brace yourself. I need something to hold on OK.
• 1:27:37
  I believe Kody stepping in to speak to Leon in obviously a
• 1:27:47
  time of distress for Meri and Leon was the right choice.
• 1:27:54
  Yeah. And I think a dad in the similar
• 1:27:56
  situation might have ignored it,
• 1:28:00
  child go at it when stepping in was the right decision.
• 1:28:05
  And that's a little ahead of his
• 1:28:09
  Yeah. Because men are just not as in
• 1:28:13
  tuned to their children's like
• 1:28:23
  built in innate thing. I feel like with moms that's
• 1:28:29
  hard to explain. And you just kind of are attuned
• 1:28:31
  to what your child needs. And it can either be super
• 1:28:35
  overwhelming, like Meri was obviously overwhelmed with her
• 1:28:39
  emotions for Leon and kind of feeding on it and like
• 1:28:44
  replicating it because they're
• 1:28:47
  They're both dealing with trauma, just in a different way.
• 1:28:50
  Trauma, I'm going to say as how they're viewing it.
• 1:28:55
  So they're both going through a big life thing and they're, you
• 1:29:00
  know, Meri doesn't have the right coping skills.
• 1:29:02
  So how can Meri show Leon the right coping skills?
• 1:29:05
  And Kody, I don't know if it's
• 1:29:12
  recognize this or he is just used to having to deal with this
• 1:29:15
  with Leon and Meri so much, which is what it seems like.
• 1:29:18
  But I applaud Kody for recognizing that tumultuousness
• 1:29:22
  that was like just going to get worse and worse and worse and
• 1:29:27
  stepping in and actually being a
• 1:29:33
  Whether or not the way he handled it was particularly
• 1:29:36
  great is beside like the point
• 1:29:39
  Making. But given the religion, given
• 1:29:44
  the history, given the vocabulary that the family still
• 1:29:47
  uses, I think that this was a bit out there for him and I
• 1:29:53
  think it was good to see it. For me, it felt a little bit
• 1:29:58
  like Kody was almost reacting out of frustration.
• 1:30:01
  You know what I mean? Like, I think he might have just
• 1:30:04
  been because that's what I self identified with.
• 1:30:06
  It's like, I've had enough. I don't want to hear this
• 1:30:08
  anymore. Just let's fucking do something
• 1:30:10
  other than what you're doing. And so I think there might be an
• 1:30:13
  element of that, but I don't disagree with what you're
• 1:30:16
  saying. I mean, it is one of the first
• 1:30:17
  times we see Kody step up and actually try to handle something
• 1:30:21
  with one of the kids that isn't just discipline because it's
• 1:30:24
  usually the things we've seen,
• 1:30:27
  I need your help to discipline
• 1:30:29
  line. And while this is somewhat
• 1:30:31
  keeping Leon in line, it didn't rub me the wrong way.
• 1:30:35
  No, I think there's probably a
• 1:30:38
  contributing to why Kody decided
• 1:30:43
  But I think for the most part,
• 1:30:49
  have been handled differently because we've seen him handle
• 1:30:52
  some of the other children with anger.
• 1:30:54
  We saw it recently with Janelle's boys when Christine
• 1:30:57
  was over there with her kids too.
• 1:31:00
  And we saw him get frustrated and we saw him hit sit down and
• 1:31:03
  literally like huffing and puffing about the situation.
• 1:31:07
  And the way that he handled the situation with Leon and Meri
• 1:31:12
  was like, a lot smoother and a lot either practiced because
• 1:31:16
  he's been down that road with them before, or just calmer
• 1:31:21
  because he understood what needed to be done and was
• 1:31:25
  like, OK, just step back. I got this.
• 1:31:27
  Yeah. So.
• 1:31:28
  Listen, I mean, you're giving a mustard seed to Kody.
• 1:31:30
  I know. And I'm not disagreeing so.
• 1:31:34
  I am picking purely on this one instance because it stuck out
• 1:31:39
  to me just because it's so different from what we know of
• 1:31:43
  Kody, yeah. So I feel that.
• 1:31:46
  Well, my mustard seed this episode, this Christmas episode
• 1:31:50
  goes to one Janelle Brown because I enjoyed that she said
• 1:31:56
  to us, you know, I'm actually surprisingly looking forward to
• 1:31:59
  this caramel cook off thing. And it's because she had a
• 1:32:02
  secret weapon, her mom there to help her and she had a couple
• 1:32:07
  of cracks. I always love that when she's
• 1:32:09
  doing the family mission statement work, she's always has
• 1:32:14
  a comment like, the end is not
• 1:32:18
  trying to make it through, you
• 1:32:20
  And I love that because, yeah,
• 1:32:24
  It's not, you know, families have mission statements.
• 1:32:26
  You know, it is what it is. How many working sessions do you
• 1:32:29
  need? Clearly a lot.
• 1:32:31
  And I just thought that she was funny this episode.
• 1:32:33
  I enjoyed her laughter. And I just liked watching her
• 1:32:37
  family continue to fill the house and whatever.
• 1:32:39
  So I think that Janelle gets my mustard seed for this episode.
• 1:32:42
  Janelle and Christine are a lot alike.
• 1:32:45
  Can you see Christine make funny
• 1:32:48
  the my sister's closet. Oh, my God, These meetings, if I
• 1:32:51
  show up and I'm not yawning, you're lucky, like.
• 1:32:54
  And Janelle, when she gets out
• 1:32:59
  of humor. Yeah.
• 1:33:01
  And so it's just kind of unfortunate that things had to
• 1:33:05
  play out the way that they did
• 1:33:07
  could have been allies together.
• 1:33:09
  Yeah. Yeah.
• 1:33:11
  And eventually they do become that.
• 1:33:13
  But yes, there's. But I I don't know that.
• 1:33:15
  Well, right and Kody pens them against each other the whole 9
• 1:33:22
  centered shit stains. That doesn't make sense.
• 1:33:26
  Shit stain centered caramels, yes.
• 1:33:28
  Oh, caramels with a little shit stain on the outside.
• 1:33:31
  So how do you shit stain this week?
• 1:33:33
  What are you going to do about that shit stain?
• 1:33:36
  Can I give it to Mona for leaving us?
• 1:33:38
  Oh, we can't send Mona off with a shit stain.
• 1:33:42
  Fine. I know, even though we are all
• 1:33:51
  Meri. Good choice.
• 1:33:54
  It's because I think Meri hides things from Leon and let's Leon
• 1:34:00
  get upset about things kind of out of selfishness and to
• 1:34:05
  console Leon. And on top of that, I think that
• 1:34:21
  her own making. I don't know what to tell you.
• 1:34:26
  late. It didn't look as good as you
• 1:34:29
  made it out to be. You invited your mom here before
• 1:34:35
  Inferring to Leon that it was other people's fault or no they
• 1:34:39
  know how to do their job instead of correcting like.
• 1:34:42
  It's not that they don't know how to do their job, like
• 1:34:45
  passing the blame. Passing the blame in a very
• 1:34:49
  backhanded way. Like Leon doesn't understand
• 1:34:51
  their jobs, so Leon doesn't get that they're doing their jobs.
• 1:34:57
  explain it. It's bull shirt as.
• 1:34:59
  Well, it's bull shirt. Listen, Meri, that shit stain's
• 1:35:01
  been building up for a hot minute.
• 1:35:03
  Meri has been smearing that stain all around for episodes
• 1:35:07
  now. And I almost forgot Meri and
• 1:35:11
  Robyn teaming up about this caramel thing.
• 1:35:15
  Oh yeah, and Meri's comment about how lying is OK as long as
• 1:35:24
  The gist of that comment is very
• 1:35:32
  It's very hide it until it blows
• 1:35:35
  Right. Yeah, it's almost like she lied
• 1:35:38
  about having a caramel allergy
• 1:35:40
  It's just disturbing. That dirty whore.
• 1:35:45
  Well, my should stain this episode goes to her partner in
• 1:35:48
  crime, the one who could never
• 1:35:51
  too bad at lying and she's just too giddy and she's just
• 1:35:54
  laughing like an out of control schoolgirl.
• 1:35:56
  And that would be Robyn Brown.
• 1:36:01
  The Robyn. Alice Brown.
• 1:36:02
  Oh, excuse me, Alice. That's right, Her legal name is
• 1:36:06
  finally there. It's finally Robyn Alice Brown
• 1:36:11
  changing her last name for the
• 1:36:14
  Yeah, that's a little shit stainy to me.
• 1:36:16
  That's just purely based on trying to give Robyn a shit
• 1:36:18
  stain. Of course, I don't really care
• 1:36:20
  about people's last names changing.
• 1:36:21
  Purely based on the fact that she was probably trying to
• 1:36:24
  commit fraud again and avoid credit card debt.
• 1:36:27
  Well, this is it. Fraudulent, Fraudulent Robyn.
• 1:36:30
  Allegedly. Allegedly, of course.
• 1:36:33
  And that laughter was just unbearable.
• 1:36:36
  The giddy, giddy, giddy. I'm a 13 year old having fun
• 1:36:39
  with my friend. It was like, bitch, you're a
• 1:36:42
  fucking grown ass woman. This is insane.
• 1:36:44
  I mean, when you and I laugh like that, it's not because
• 1:36:46
  we're at a store buying caramels
• 1:36:50
  No your husband, no your. Husband.
• 1:36:52
  And you're thinking our caramels
• 1:36:55
  I mean, the entire thing is just
• 1:36:59
  or interesting. And she made it seem like they
• 1:37:01
  were having the time of their lives.
• 1:37:03
  It was full of second hand embarrassment for me.
• 1:37:06
  It made me think that Meri and
• 1:37:10
  beforehand and Meri could handle
• 1:37:14
  couldn't. Oh yeah.
• 1:37:15
  It felt like a teenage girl drinking for the first time with
• 1:37:23
  understand reality and thinks that stupid situations are
• 1:37:27
  funny. Like the whole thing just didn't
• 1:37:33
  It was cool and it was real and it was weird and I'm
• 1:37:37
  preemptively giving her part of my should stain because of our
• 1:37:44
  Although we haven't heard it, it is definitely giving me a
• 1:37:48
  sneeiry taste in my mouth. And then kissing Kody like a
• 1:37:53
  wanton slut in front of her sister wives on Christmas
• 1:37:56
  morning after giving him her fraudulent, I mean real Social
• 1:38:04
  would never do anything like that.
• 1:38:06
  Obviously I am a woman of Joseph Smith teachings and I would
• 1:38:10
  never do anything like that. Oh my goodness.
• 1:38:14
  Yep. Our Keep Sweet Moment this week
• 1:38:17
  is another entry from our Season 6 Episode 1 giveaway for
• 1:38:22
  some beautifully handcrafted towels that the spirit of Meri
• 1:38:29
  Projected in my dreams. Projected into your dreams, This
• 1:38:37
  a YouTube submission from Magna M2, Magna Magma Magma M21819 and
• 1:38:51
  I'm just going to tell you guys to go back to.
• 1:38:55
  Oh yeah, go back and look. Entries and look and you'll
• 1:38:59
  obviously know who we're talking about and we appreciate it a
• 1:39:01
  lot. Absolutely.
• 1:39:02
  I'm sorry that I can't read. I'm a little like Robyn right
• 1:39:06
  now. This user insert name says the
• 1:39:14
  centric business at a convention in Saint George where even she
• 1:39:22
  trying to sell steak at a vegan convention.
• 1:39:24
  Which is very true. Their mustard seed goes to
• 1:39:28
  Christine for her blatant honesty and good support during
• 1:39:31
  my sister wife's closet meetings.
• 1:39:33
  And an honorable mention goes to the woman at the convention that
• 1:39:39
  Oh, when she told Robyn I'm going to go to the bank to get
• 1:39:50
  M21819 for your submission. We greatly appreciate it.
• 1:39:53
  Thank you again to everyone who left your mustard seeds and shit
• 1:39:59
  We loved reading your mustard seeds and we even more enjoyed
• 1:40:10
  allergic to caramel. It was really fun and I hope
• 1:40:13
  that everybody keeps putting their shit stains and mustard
• 1:40:16
  seeds on the comments of the platform that they listen on
• 1:40:20
  because it makes me laugh out loud and I like to laugh out
• 1:40:24
  loud. Don't like Robyn?
• 1:40:26
  Don't like to laugh out loud as much as a 1 Robyn Brown does?
• 1:40:31
  I love that if people just started leaving their mustard
• 1:40:35
  seeds and shit stains on every episode that would be so fun to
• 1:40:38
  read. It would be so fun.
• 1:40:39
  That would be great. We are going to be your new
• 1:40:43
  prophets. Don't worry everyone, we'll give