Latest / The Hauraki Big Show / OUTRO: Love By The Fireplace
Transcript
- 0:00Speaker 1: Oh.
- 0:10Speaker 2: Fan of the Hurdarcky Picture podcast, make sure you shock
- 0:14Speaker 2: out more from Jay, Smike and Kezy on our Instagram
- 0:17Speaker 2: show Into Them forty seven every weekday on radio.
- 0:23Speaker 1: Thanks Mace, Thanks thanks man. Had the fire on over
- 0:27Speaker 1: the weekend, Flowers. I didn't tell you about that?
- 0:29Speaker 2: Oh yeah, nice.
- 0:30Speaker 3: Also love that you use it.
- 0:32Speaker 4: Yeah, they cleaned them out.
- 0:33Speaker 1: They cleaned them out, and so we But we didn't
- 0:35Speaker 1: have a spark guard. Oh yes, okay, screen bastards or
- 0:40Speaker 1: any of the tools.
- 0:41Speaker 2: Sure you know what I'm saying. Yeah, your poker, your poker, a.
- 0:45Speaker 1: Poker and a stoker and some claws, et cetera, et cetera.
- 0:48Speaker 1: But those all turned up today. So that's good. And god,
- 0:51Speaker 1: it was good. It's a good fire man. Yeah, it's
- 0:54Speaker 1: I was a bit concerned it would be what they
- 0:56Speaker 1: would be. I don't know about the other one, but
- 0:57Speaker 1: it would be one of those ones where the heat
- 0:59Speaker 1: goes straight up the chairman. Yes, you can see the fire,
- 1:01Speaker 1: but there's no heat off the fire. It's just heats
- 1:03Speaker 1: going straight up the chimney. Yeah, you know what I mean,
- 1:06Speaker 1: up the chimney. It's not it's not one of those
- 1:08Speaker 1: the heat comes out of the chimney radiates out and
- 1:11Speaker 1: it's fucking good. But what you notice, of course, is
- 1:14Speaker 1: it can't control the heat sure either, stinking it's not
- 1:19Speaker 1: hold enough. Yeah, somewhere in between.
- 1:21Speaker 2: Well, funnily enough, my wife actually said to me on Sunday,
- 1:25Speaker 2: dem as the fire because I, as you know, love
- 1:28Speaker 2: a fire, and I missed the spectacle of it. Yes,
- 1:32Speaker 2: but actually the heat pump is so much better at
- 1:35Speaker 2: keeping the house.
- 1:36Speaker 4: Warm, right, great, because.
- 1:38Speaker 2: The fire would radiate out about two or three meters
- 1:41Speaker 2: and then die and get sucked up in all the
- 1:42Speaker 2: holes in our Yeah, totally. But the old heat pump
- 1:48Speaker 2: just keeps on pumping.
- 1:49Speaker 4: It keeps on pumping. Baby.
- 1:51Speaker 1: We've got two living areas at our joint, yes, and
- 1:54Speaker 1: so that goes, it goes, it goes, this is out
- 1:57Speaker 1: goes Are you ready for this? Man goes kick? Then
- 2:00Speaker 1: it goes a living area that has a fireplace in it. Yes,
- 2:04Speaker 1: my wife thought would make a perfect dining room. Remember
- 2:07Speaker 1: that dining room table. We had the five thousand dollars
- 2:10Speaker 1: one ivory one. God, yeah, I got ivory legs and that.
- 2:13Speaker 1: And then there's the lounge which is bigger, which has
- 2:16Speaker 1: got the TV and shit. In it, And I said,
- 2:20Speaker 1: I feel like this one that's closer to the kitchen
- 2:23Speaker 1: makes more sense because then we can just that's where
- 2:26Speaker 1: the heat pump is.
- 2:26Speaker 4: Number one.
- 2:27Speaker 1: Sure, and it's close to the kitchen. And we're very
- 2:30Speaker 1: really going to use the dining table. So why don't
- 2:32Speaker 1: we make the other room the dining room and then
- 2:36Speaker 1: we can just close it off, you know, until we
- 2:38Speaker 1: sort of need it.
- 2:38Speaker 2: Sure, Nana, where's the other fire and the lounge.
- 2:44Speaker 4: So there's lounge in the dining room.
- 2:45Speaker 1: There's one of the dining room, one of the lounge, right, okay,
- 2:47Speaker 1: so like both don't have to.
- 2:50Speaker 2: How would you guys feel about having one in your bedroom?
- 2:53Speaker 1: I would never use it, you know, I just don't
- 2:55Speaker 1: think you're in there long enough. I had a mate fireplace, Yeah,
- 2:58Speaker 1: I mean I've had I've had a bedroom before that's
- 3:00Speaker 1: got a fireplace in it.
- 3:02Speaker 2: He shall remain nameless, Brenda Love Grow. You will never
- 3:08Speaker 2: guess who it is, Leeheart.
- 3:11Speaker 4: But she would.
- 3:12Speaker 2: Say they had a fireplace in their beddream.
- 3:17Speaker 4: Judith Collins.
- 3:18Speaker 2: And when Helen Clark said, partnerlet said fire in the
- 3:24Speaker 2: bed dream, it was always a signal that, you know,
- 3:28Speaker 2: a bit of the.
- 3:29Speaker 3: Old love making in front of Yeah, man, so you
- 3:36Speaker 3: love making in front of the fire, You've done it?
- 3:38Speaker 4: You would have want that?
- 3:39Speaker 3: Have never done it?
- 3:40Speaker 2: Definitely? I have many times.
- 3:42Speaker 4: I don't know if I have, because I don't think
- 3:45Speaker 4: I've never had a fire.
- 3:45Speaker 3: The only place with the fire is my parents house
- 3:47Speaker 3: and total, I'm not about to make love.
- 3:50Speaker 2: That was the first time I did it. What made
- 3:53Speaker 2: love in front of a fire?
- 3:54Speaker 4: Whereabouts?
- 3:55Speaker 2: Was at at your parents house?
- 3:56Speaker 3: Who are you making love with?
- 3:57Speaker 2: There's none of your business, Keezy.
- 3:59Speaker 4: You mind your bloody bull.
- 4:02Speaker 3: You're making you know you're saying it was at my house.
- 4:04Speaker 3: I just think I deserve to know who you're making
- 4:05Speaker 3: love with.
- 4:06Speaker 2: Well, it's not your house. It's Ron and Don's house.
- 4:09Speaker 2: And I hang on Mon and Don's house.
- 4:12Speaker 3: What did you say, Ron?
- 4:15Speaker 4: So that night it was yeah, No, I.
- 4:18Speaker 2: Definitely had made made love in front of a fire?
- 4:21Speaker 4: How hot? How hot was it?
- 4:23Speaker 2: Are we with two cos? But I mean on many
- 4:28Speaker 2: different occasions.
- 4:30Speaker 1: Anyway, The end of my story is that my wife,
- 4:32Speaker 1: my wife said no, My mom turned up, yeah, and
- 4:35Speaker 1: Mom sedested the same thing that I had suggested. What
- 4:39Speaker 1: a good idea, What a good idea? That is Marge.
- 4:43Speaker 1: So now we'll be swapping that around.
- 4:45Speaker 3: We should tell Marge to tell your wife that she
- 4:47Speaker 3: hates the head board.
- 4:50Speaker 2: That's still you know, there's nothing there's nothing that wives
- 4:53Speaker 2: loved more than advice from mother.
- 4:55Speaker 4: In law to be fear from anybody except you. Yes.
- 5:00Speaker 1: Yeah, although on the weekend, this is another thing I
- 5:03Speaker 1: did and we didn't talk about it on the show.
- 5:04Speaker 1: I was doing some renovating. I did some renovating, renovating
- 5:08Speaker 1: outside and water blasted the house and water blasted the tolls.
- 5:13Speaker 1: We've got like a patio with huge PAVs. Yes, and
- 5:17Speaker 1: they were didn't realize how fucking disgusting and filthy they
- 5:21Speaker 1: were until we water blasted them. Amazing, Yeah, it is.
- 5:24Speaker 1: And my wife was loving the fact that I was
- 5:26Speaker 1: doing some work outside. She hasn't looked at me like
- 5:29Speaker 1: that in years.
- 5:31Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, It's like when I chop wood. When you
- 5:37Speaker 2: get wood, you know, when I get wood and I
- 5:39Speaker 2: chop it up when I call it and I'm just
- 5:42Speaker 2: wearing my shorty shorts.
- 5:48Speaker 3: Are you using a guillotine?
- 5:52Speaker 2: But he would splintering all over the place. My wife
- 5:56Speaker 2: comes out with a cool glass of lemonade. Lemonade goes
- 5:59Speaker 2: back and side, put the fire on inside, puts the
- 6:03Speaker 2: fire on, making you know you know what I'm saying about.
- 6:08Speaker 3: I thought you didn't have a fire.
- 6:10Speaker 2: Puts the heat pump back on the day when we
- 6:12Speaker 2: did and I was chopping wood and stuff.
- 6:14Speaker 4: We did chopping wood and then putting the heat pamp on. Yeah.
- 6:18Speaker 3: The whole Big Show week days from four on Radio
- 6:22Speaker 3: Hurarchy Wy Big Show Podcast.
- 6:26Speaker 2: The Heat Pumps great, man, I am loving it. It's
- 6:28Speaker 2: really good. For the first time disaster. You know, our
- 6:33Speaker 2: house is warm killder. Yes, we did, and it was
- 6:41Speaker 2: fully for that month that we had it, and it
- 6:44Speaker 2: was an actual reading. So no, man too thirty.
- 6:51Speaker 4: That's not bad. Yeah for three of you.
- 6:54Speaker 2: But like you, I sit back suspiciously and go I'm
- 6:59Speaker 2: just waya for the next one.
- 7:00Speaker 4: That's going to be a du the next one.
- 7:03Speaker 2: What's your what's your power?
- 7:05Speaker 4: Billy?
- 7:05Speaker 3: I think it's like two hundred every six weeks or something.
- 7:09Speaker 2: It's a month. It's monthly, isn't it.
- 7:11Speaker 4: Yes?
- 7:11Speaker 3: No, no, no, It depends who your thing is. Whereas
- 7:13Speaker 3: we're on one, were you top up turn it dolls
- 7:15Speaker 3: at a time?
- 7:16Speaker 4: Oh?
- 7:16Speaker 2: You chop it up?
- 7:17Speaker 4: Are you going one of those meters.
- 7:19Speaker 3: Lucy does it. I don't do it, and but you
- 7:21Speaker 3: top up your account turn it dolls at a time
- 7:23Speaker 3: and then it uses and it chips away at it.
- 7:26Speaker 3: But then there's a free hour, like you can select
- 7:28Speaker 3: your free hour of power every day and blah blah blasht.
- 7:30Speaker 4: We've got Are you interesting?
- 7:32Speaker 3: It's a week? Can we drop up every six weeks
- 7:35Speaker 3: or so?
- 7:36Speaker 4: I don't know.
- 7:36Speaker 3: Maybe it's electric. Can we the free hour of power?
- 7:38Speaker 3: Can you pick when you want to use it? Yeah,
- 7:40Speaker 3: well we've got a new one. We were worth somebody else.
- 7:42Speaker 4: Now I think we're going to change.
- 7:44Speaker 1: You can have free you get free power on the
- 7:46Speaker 1: weekend between nine and five. So we're just we're just
- 7:50Speaker 1: turning every light in the house on.
- 7:52Speaker 2: Do you trust the Do.
- 7:54Speaker 4: I trust it? Yes?
- 7:55Speaker 1: Because it's not you can see it's got thirteen ten
- 7:58Speaker 1: and I'm not scared of ghosts.
- 8:00Speaker 4: It's yeah, I do trust it.
- 8:02Speaker 2: Yeah. I just you know these deals that they have
- 8:06Speaker 2: and they go, oh yeah, free power from bullshit. They'll
- 8:09Speaker 2: still fucking charge you. Yeah, I'll just put it somewhere else.
- 8:13Speaker 3: Well, when we first joined this thing that we're on,
- 8:15Speaker 3: Lucy was every day would pick the hour of power
- 8:18Speaker 3: be like, when do we put the dishwash on whatever
- 8:20Speaker 3: it might be? Select that hour. But and it's great
- 8:23Speaker 3: and you save a ship load of money, except you
- 8:25Speaker 3: eventually can't be fucked doing it, and then you stop
- 8:28Speaker 3: doing it, and then you're just on their power plan.
- 8:30Speaker 3: So we need to switch to one that you guys
- 8:32Speaker 3: are doing stuff.
- 8:32Speaker 2: You guys don't shower separately that way?
- 8:35Speaker 3: What have you been shower separately?
- 8:37Speaker 2: I mean you shower together to save Yeah, yeah, yeah,
- 8:42Speaker 2: absolutely no, not in my house. No, oh really do you?
- 8:45Speaker 2: You don't shower with your wife do your murky?
- 8:48Speaker 4: It's disgusting.
- 8:49Speaker 3: You know we shower together? Is then who washes your back?
- 8:54Speaker 4: Nobody?
- 8:55Speaker 3: You got dirty back?
- 8:56Speaker 2: You wash your back?
- 8:58Speaker 4: Well?
- 8:58Speaker 3: We yeah, we know that you don't put any soap
- 9:01Speaker 3: on your body at all days.
- 9:03Speaker 2: Very very fond of the sandal wood and coconut liquid sea.
- 9:08Speaker 4: Ever an imperial leather man.
- 9:10Speaker 2: Yes, yeah, yeah, I was.
- 9:12Speaker 4: How good was that?
- 9:13Speaker 2: I was even a brute man for a while.
- 9:14Speaker 3: I'm a brute man now I'm a brute man.
- 9:17Speaker 2: I sort of grew out of it, though, Yeah.
- 9:20Speaker 3: My granddad was. Yeah, yeah, it reminds me of him.
- 9:23Speaker 2: It's all all the old fellas, but I like brute
- 9:26Speaker 2: after shaved brute soap.
- 9:27Speaker 1: That's what I got for Christmas once off a mates
- 9:31Speaker 1: family with them and they gave me it was the
- 9:34Speaker 1: after shave, the odor toilet that was high flammable. Yes,
- 9:38Speaker 1: the stick, after shave, the spray to the odor. It
- 9:41Speaker 1: was a Christmas pack, so I kept it and I
- 9:43Speaker 1: gave it back to the father the following Christmas.
- 9:47Speaker 2: Excellent. I think I got that same pack one year maybe, yeah,
- 9:50Speaker 2: pretty another one, you mean pretty stick, et cetera.
- 9:53Speaker 3: I love the after shave. It burns like a motherfucker.
- 9:55Speaker 4: I used to kill you so good.
- 9:58Speaker 2: I used to. I'm try. I don't remember who used
- 10:00Speaker 2: to give me soap on the ropes. You went through
- 10:04Speaker 2: those for a while.
- 10:04Speaker 1: They were handy when I was in jail, man, I'll
- 10:06Speaker 1: tell you what. Yeah, because yeah, it was you just
- 10:10Speaker 1: get wrapped it around your rest and have it handy.
- 10:12Speaker 3: But is that the idea behind it?
- 10:14Speaker 4: Yes? Yes? Is it that big of oh yeah?
- 10:17Speaker 2: When I when I was in drop so yeah, yeah,
- 10:20Speaker 2: when I was in prison, keizy, I wore around the
- 10:22Speaker 2: neck twenty four to seven.
- 10:23Speaker 4: Yeah right.
- 10:27Speaker 1: It was sort of carved into the shape of a kouser, yeah,
- 10:32Speaker 1: which made which made it easier when people bent over
- 10:34Speaker 1: in the share to clean out their nuts.
- 10:37Speaker 2: Oh so remember Mike Laine's story about the nurs Do
- 10:41Speaker 2: you hear that?
- 10:42Speaker 4: Yeah?
- 10:43Speaker 3: Was it to do with putting a tarp down?
- 10:45Speaker 4: And it wasn't the anal beads.
- 10:48Speaker 3: I heard that you had a million times from different people.
- 10:51Speaker 1: This one was he was trying to convince his partner
- 10:54Speaker 1: at the time that she should give it a go,
- 10:56Speaker 1: you know back door those there were some discussions around it,
- 10:59Speaker 1: and he thought, well, who am I? Who am I
- 11:03Speaker 1: to put this kind of pressure on my partner when
- 11:05Speaker 1: I have never tried myself. And this thought occurred to
- 11:08Speaker 1: him while he had a brand new.
- 11:10Speaker 4: Bar of soap lane and he jammed it up as
- 11:15Speaker 4: anus and it's like sweet air.
- 11:18Speaker 2: Is true story that would have hurt true story.
- 11:22Speaker 3: Like obviously the size of but also just the soapiness.
- 11:25Speaker 4: It's a real it's a real chod situation you've got there.
- 11:28Speaker 2: But also what was discussing about it was when he
- 11:30Speaker 2: put the sack back on the little dish there.
- 11:32Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, you know, oftentimes you go to somebody's
- 11:35Speaker 1: house and they'll have pubic here on this So.
- 11:38Speaker 4: Yeah, this was worse.
- 11:40Speaker 2: It was streaked with.
- 11:44Speaker 3: What excrement, disgusting story, He's disgusting. Listen to the Hurdy
- 11:55Speaker 3: Big Show Fort'll seven every week down on Radio Hurdarcky.
- 12:00Speaker 2: Feeling a bit woozy, fellos, Bye
- 12:08Speaker 1: Mhm