Latest / The Christy-Faith Show / Ep. 2 - Insights from a Second-Generation Homeschooler // Rachel Stanhope
Transcript
- The Christy-Faith Show - Episode 2 with Rachel Transcript What was your very first viral video? it like blew up we went from like 2,000 followers to like 30,000 followers in one or two days like it was like popping it was crazy I was like welcome to the Christy Faith show where we share game changing ideas with intentional parents like you I'm your host Christy Faith experienced educational adviser and homeschool Enthusiast together we'll explore ways to enrich and transform both your life and the lives of your children the world welcome everybody I'm Christy faith I'm thrilled to have our guest on today she is a close personal friend and I invited a friend Rachel was one of the very first people that I saw on Tik Tok and we're going to discuss how we got to know each other what we thought when we were seeing each other on social media but first I want to introduce my wonderful beautiful lovely guest Rachel stanh hope Rachel is a mom of five from Junior High right on down to infancy you live on a small rural Farm in Missouri where you incorporate homeschooling into your homesteading lifestyle you are a second generation homeschooler and feel blessed to have been homeschooled yourself and can share your perspective to everybody here today some of your favorite memories about growing up include being able to enjoy your childhood I can't wait to talk about that being outside without peer pressure traveling ooh I want to hear more about this and having 11 siblings you were raised to be a free thinker from the richness of your childhood experience you have found a passion for sharing your homeschooling knowledge on Tik Tok I'm very curious if that's where you started CU that's where I did and you have a lot of followers on there girl and I've been so proud of you and I love your content so a big warm welcome to Rachel thank you Christie I'm so excited to be here I I find your story incredibly fascinating not only because you're a second gen homeschooler but also your perspective and your journey on social media I wanted to ask you first you were one of my first homeschool social media friends I want to hear because I may not know this what was your very first viral video oh my goodness okay I remember it so clear it was I can't remember exactly how I worded it but it started out like um I was raised or my 11 siblings and I were raised in home in a homeschooling um crunchy non-vaccinating households something along those lines and then I started talking about these holistic books that my mom and dad used and I was like if you don't have these books they're awesome because I have them on hand and it like blew up we went from like 2,000 followers to like 30,000 followers in one or two days like it was like popping it was crazy I was like oh go yes that that was how my first viral video was too and how did that feel when you realized Rachel that several hundred, people have seen you um it was exciting but kind of nerve-wracking at the same time I was like who wants to hear me like I'm kind of a middle child I'm number four so you know the middle child kind of gets you know overlooked but it was I just felt very blessed to have my voice heard that's cool hey what are some of those books we'll put them in the show notes that you were showing on that video Let's see the prescription for Nutritional Health that's one and another one is a home remedies book but it's worded a certain way and I cannot think of it right now you I should have grabbed it it's not nutritional healing is it I think that's a no a really big one okay no this is something thing about home remedies and like Chinese medicine yeah okay all right well I'll ask you later gather them up and we'll put them in the show notes because that stuff always is so fascinating to me how our bodies can you know there's a lot of stuff in nature that is designed to heal our bodies and if we only knew we may not need Pharmaceuticals all the time so I love that why did you first get on Tik Tok um because I was bored like everybody else in 2020 you know I got on and had an account and just posted I I don't even know just random stuff and then I found out my homeschooling friend from Texas also had an account and we were both kind of embarrassed about it we're like wait why should be be embarrassed that we have Tik Tok you know and then we talked and discussed and decided to start a page together that we built up and uh yeah the rest is history very cool and I think you were on before me I only remember a handful of you guys I remember a lot of the homeschooling content was pandemic related and extremely negative towards homeschooling and that was one of the reasons why I got on partially because you seem to have a peace with your homeschooling and that is not something that I have noticed only with you Rachel a lot of the second gen homeschool Mamas and dads that I meet have a piece that all of us strive to have why do you think this is hey hey if you're enjoying the show and don't want to miss out on future episodes hit that like And subscribe button and show us some love with your reviews those five-star ratings really do help us reach more people oh my goodness okay so like the short answer well my my answer would be that I feel like all of us now Millennials or Millennials who were raised in the 90s and 2000s or even the 80s some of us um we got to have a childhood we didn't have to leave the house every day at 6: 7 a.m. sometimes you know earlier for some kids and be away from our parents we got quality family time and we got to have our childhood after school was done two or three hours of all of our school workor all of our subjects we could go outside and play we could enjoy nature explore work in my dad's you know wood shop and go see my grandma and just do things that kids don't really get to do climb trees break our arm I broke my arm at 4 and then I did again at 30 but yeah just being a kid I think that gives you a lot of peace and your childhood experience it was nothing like what mine was even though I'm a lot older than you but yes I think there's something there going to school having that framework of grades what type of homeschooler was your mama she was um I think she was an Eclectic homeschooler she did use um Covenant curriculum and I'm not sure where that falls on The Homeschool Spectrum so I like to think she was eclectic because we used many different methods and I remember you know having days where it was like specifically just go outside you don't have to do book work kind of unschool you know tell me what you learned today at the end of the day type thing oh interesting did your siblings did you and your siblings have strong relationships growing up and have those relationships lasted into adulthood I know there are 11 of you right yes there there are 12 of us total including myself okay and yeah as so my oldest brother he's 40 now which I can't believe you know he's 40 it's like wait that means I'm older but 40's not that old um so he kind of you know he was the older teenager and moved out before I was old enough to really have a relationship with him and then my oldest sister and I I don't know the the I'm part of the four oldest but I didn't get along with the other three I hung out with the twins which were born right after me and then my brother David so my mom always called them the triplets because they're 19 months apart so it was the twins David and I and then you had the younger kids and then the babies kind of and so I just hung out with the boys if I wasn't playing Barbies but we um we had a great relationship as kids I was just their cheerleader and uh no we don't we don't talk as adults unfortunately some of us do I actually have a better relationship with the oldest The 40-Year-Old and we talk often he's a plant nerd and I love plants so we ship each other seeds and bulbs and talk about our plants you know old people things not I'm older than you girl I'm older than your older brother I want to hear what aspects so that really interests me about The Sibling relationships because a big motivator for my homeschooling is I wanted Collective family memories I wanted sibling relationships that lasted well into adulthood and I'm very intentional about that I'm curious what parts of your homeschooling experience growing up have you decided to do differently and what are some things that you really loved that you are carrying on that Legacy um what are some things I am doing different I I think my Approach with homeschool is a little bit different even though I myself am an Eclectic homeschooler I feel like it's different you know there were so many children and my mom was either nursing a baby or pregnant you know so hormones crazy we've been there we understand that um I I don't feel like there was a lot of one-on-one time or if I struggled in a subject I don't feel like there was a lot of help um so what I'm doing different is making sure that I am there you know helping when I can and if I can't help obviously we have more means to find answers and ways to help now than we did in the 90s and early 2000s um so I have to take that into account as well I don't want to feel like I'm pointing the finger at my parents for not homeschooling properly because you know you meet some homeschoolers especially on Tik Tok and are like oh I was homeschooled and it was the worst decision ever and blame blame blame blame I'm an adult I shouldn't blame anybody for anything past present future you know I mean I need to take responsibility um not that I can take responsibility for my childhood education but in a way I can by doing things different or not pointing the finger when it comes to little things you know look at the looking at the whole picture and the situation my my mom was in I mean my dad helped schoola some like with math he would uh but it all fell on her really and if I had five babies running around and older kids and you know constantly at my feet maybe pregnant or a baby I would be losing my ever loving mind okay yeah so I need to take that whole experience into perspective um when I when I discuss my childhood because I don't want it to come off as being blaming or as blaming you know for XYZ not happening the other day I was thinking I was driving and I was having I was fighting negative thoughts trying to like stop them at the the door and I realized how important it is when I also think back to my childhood and both of my parents they were people too who had their own struggles like I was having my struggle that day and how important it is to have Grace because we are mothers who are struggling with our own stuff going on trying to reclaim the story for our own children give them an amazing childhood but we're human too and we have bad days and so I think that having Grace is so important of course with ourselves with our kids but also with our with our family of origin not to say that there there are probably listeners that um had horrific things happen in their childhood that's not what I'm talking about um I'm talking about just in the little things just recognizing that you know if you grew up in a relatively healthy family and things weren't always perfect that just having Grace because your mom was yeah she may have screamed at you because there was a lot going on that she wasn't she may have been stressed about money that day or something and just having Grace for we're human too and we have our own struggles and we're trying to do our best raising our kids not as an excuse for any type of maltreatment or abuse in any way shape or form I hope that's clear but that General posture I think is is healthy and it helps you not Harbor resentment too cuz that's not a healthy place I love Yeah it ill feelings you know absolutely because I I mean I do feel like my parents did the best that they could do for our homeschooling and upbringing with the information they had available then you know because they couldn't just order curriculum online every year or press a button and have CTC math or teaching textbooks right there at their fingertips I mean it was dialup and it was going to look at curriculum you know to the fairs the homeschooling fairs and things like that and that was a lot of work you know yeah and that's why we have the term box curriculum which we use that as just regular terminology but the origins it doesn't make sense now there's nothing to relate it to but back then when you were homeschooling you lit Lally got a box on your doorstep and that was your curriculum from whatever company your mom bought from and back then you said your mom was eclectic on The Eclectic side but I would say most families in that generation were buying box curriculum and what that means is kind of one company that teaches all the subjects and you order a grade level for each of your kids and that's how you did it and the box came to the door so yes well see my mom so so we grew up pretty poor actually my dad built furniture he was a master Furniture builder in little old Tarkington Texas like nowhere and so my mom really had to be strategic when she bought curriculum we would go to downtown Houston to a homeschool store there was like one store where you could buy secondhand you could buy all kinds of different things and she would gather up curriculum see what she had last year I mean we had the big rubber erasers erasing you know the previous year to just save money because with that many kids it's gonna I mean it costs me a lot with four kids I don't even want to think about how much it cost her to homeschool all of you know us absolutely a different time before we continue I want to share with you a program that has been a game changer for our home school at our Learning Center we instructed and helped kids through pretty much every math program on the market and we know firsthand how important a solid math Foundation is for our kids Futures finding the right homeschool math program that didn't compromise academic Excellence but also one that didn't put me or my kids through the ringer was a challenge until one day I tried CTC math you guys the rest was history first off it's a Mastery based program which means your child gets a solid grasp of the material it's also loaded with mixed reviews ensuring that kids never forget what they've learned the questions are adaptive too which keep students confident and progressing at their own pace but the best part all the teaching grading and testing done for you with CTC math there's no compromise on Excellence your child gets a top-notch education and you just made your homeschool life easier visit CTC math to start your free trial today what would be one piece of advice that you would give to a a newer homeschooling mom who is scared out of her wits to start homeschooling I would tell I would tell that Mom to breathe and take it one day at a time probably to find her homeschooling style first before she just jumps in because before I got on Tik Tok I didn't even know there was such thing as homeschooling style it was just homeschooling she does it a little different than I do type thing um but I've really learned so much since being on Tik tokk but I think that helped open my eyes to certain curriculums I may not have even looked at had I not taken you know a Style finding quiz I actually think I took yours first um to see what my homeschooling style was but it was so fun and so enlightening and has really helped shap myo more did you feel like my quiz did a good job and it nailed okay good hundred % um and I like that let me just let me let me just brag on it a minute I like that your quiz unlike any I I took a bunch of different ones but yours said that I was eclectic which I had already known but it also said that I was a little Waldorf as well which I hadn't even thought about and the explanation that you have there was so wonderful and I was like this opens a brand new door for me it was just wonderful oh that's so good to hear and you know why we give you those secondary ones in the quiz is because we knew we needed the quiz to be five minutes if I was giving you guys a 100 questions I'd be able to nail you but how do I do this in five minutes so we had some pretty targeted questions that could be this or lean towards this and that was a way that we could condense the quiz to make it five minutes while still being accurate and also giving Mama other options to say okay yeah this is this really really resonates with me so I'm glad it was kind of risky because we we wanted it to be accurate as accurate as possible um but also quick and you can't always do those two things together right so right yes yes I've taken those quizzes too where it's like ad nauseum they're just lasting so long and then at the end of the day because it's sponsored by a curriculum company you're going to come out whatever style that curriculum company that is selling their curriculum whatever right so it's a traditional you know you always have to look at who is sponsoring those quizzes because if it's a curriculum company you're probably gonna come out the style of what they sell so yes that was one of the reasons why I made it too yeah I wanted one with you know no ties it just because I'm all about helping mama so okay absolutely um I want to hear what is a favorite read aloud that you have read to your kids kids and I should have asked you do you incorporate read I just made the assumption that you incorporate read aloud not everyone does actually um so we do it as a family um and we do a lot of audiobooks because my oldest is 12 and then I have a 10-year-old and 8-year-old and six-year-old so really when I read books it's more geared towards my eight and six-year-old my big girls are like we're prein we're too big for this you know um so we do it as a family and um my husband usually does the reading and we're working on The Chronicles of Narnia right now and they have okay loved The Chronicles of Narnia it has been just wonderful for them you know learning new words even I have to stop and be like okay this word means this or wait what does this mean let's look it up real fast you know and we just I think we have loved that very much as a family that's wonderful I'm in that same boat too where I have such an age gap between my oldest and then the younger three we're in Farmer Boy right now and to them it's a page Turner which I know the audience is gonna laugh they're like don't stop is his pumpkin gonna win first place right at the county fair and then but you know what I have my older child in some serious more intellectual books but as a family on audio whenever we're in the car right now we're reading The Hiding Place so I'm just like you in that way where you kind of when there is a big age Gap not the oldest is not always interested in reading that one again right so I get it well if I had to pick my favorite theing one powerful book I haven't read that one we haven't done that yet but it's on my list it's heavy it's really heavy but I think it's important and it opens up so many conversations about history and my oldest has been asking me some pretty serious ethical questions as well what would you have done Mom right yeah right so that's been interesting because those de audience knows yes yeah and it's a story about Corey tenen boom who hid Jews in her home for a while before their home was raided so we are right at the point now where she has and this is a true story where she has been arrested and she is not sent to a concentration camp yet but I remember reading that uh as a young girl and it having a profound impact on me it was probably the first book I read where I had an emotional uh experience with it yeah and I don't I can't say that for many books we went over Corey tinboom in our um we have a Tuttle Twin series and it has the book they titled courageous Heroes and so it has some details in a summary on Corey tinboom I think there's probably six to eight pages it's it's quite detailed for a a summary you know um and I was reading that to the kids when I was pregnant with Jasper and I couldn't even get through the last couple Pages without crying and then I'm making them cry and I'm like I have to stop and come back you know and it was it was very touching especially for my older girls it I could tell that was that was a lot for them to yeah to take and and so important and so much better than a textbook than reading about those events out of a textbook that is so dry to have that emot to really walk a mile in someone else's shoes for a minute is so valuable for our kids yes I want to hear I know I'm not going to let because you know with our Voxer conversations where I've probably Voxer you crying laughing we have our little appointment every week where I'm now I'm like Pavlov dogs you know that experiment where like you ring the bell and you you salivate for the food that's how I am when I drop my girls off at theater on Mondays I get in the car and then I box her Rachel I'm like Hi how are you but I know something that I've really enjoyed about our friendship is we like to talk about deeper things and philosophical things you're a very thoughtful person your friendship has been an absolute gift you are a treasure to me if you're comfortable I would love for you to share something that you are working on personally right now in what way are you experiencing growth either as a mom as a homeschooler or in any way that could Inspire us and just give a little peek into Rachel life um okay so I am currently which I have been the last probably since I was pregnant with Jasper so 10 months now it's it's an ongoing thing working on ourselves um changing the way I speak to my kids you mentioned earlier uh briefly how you know maybe mom was screaming at you because all these emotions yeah you know that is kind of a household I grew up in um and I don't resent that because of what she was going through I don't know you know I was a child but I feel like it has definitely spilled over into my parenting and I don't know I think just the last year or so I've really put more thought into the way I speak to my kids I always try to be kind but it doesn't always come off kind because like you said we're humans um so changing the way I speak to my kids and one way is you know if they ask Mom can I have this Apple for the millionth time my son loves apples I'm like I don't care I've stopped saying I don't care instead I say of course you can have the apple or I don't mind if you have the Apple because they're starting to say what I say and I've even talked to him about it I do care if you have that Apple I care you know if you're hungry I do care but I think something is little as simple as I don't care we're just so used to saying it's like saying when somebody is being so goofy you're like oh you're stupid you don't mean it intentionally like you don't literally mean they're stupid you're just laughing um and so that just got me thinking and I'm like I don't want to say those things to my children whenever that's not true because then they're just going to when I really don't care about something you know for example are they going to take it literal so that is what I have been working on and that is what I'm going to continue working on creating a streamlined successful homeschool can be hard the pressure is high and the weight of the responsibility often leads to self-doubt second guessing and feeling overwhelmed with the excessive amount of advice and options out there we love our kids at the same time the stakes are high we don't want to mess this up so how do we build a home homeschool our kids will thank us for when they're adults the first step to pulling this off is joining Thrive homeschool Community where you learn the eight-step plan to build an undeniably successful homeschool each year and each kid presents us with Uncharted Territory but with the right plan you can rest in the security and confidence that you are doing a great job the path is easy join Thrive say a quick hello to all your new friends start The eight-step Homeschool success Suess framework and kiss anxiety goodbye it's risk-free no contracts you can cancel any time go to Christy faith.com that's CH s y- fi.com enter promo code podcast at checkout for $10 off your first month see you inside I love that I think that's a message all of us needed to hear is be careful with our words and I think we can accidentally and inadvertently just because of patterns you know talk to our kids in ways that we don't want and it isn't that true when it's a I was when it's a little mirror where you're like where did you learn to talk like that oh oh yeah yes absolutely oh my goodness I feel like I see that more and more every day I want to hear about a time where you faced a significant challenge or obstacle in your mother Gathering or homeschooling and how you overcame it so when my oldest was five we had already started homeschooling we had made the decision to homeschool my husband was going through a time where he didn't have a lot of work so finances were tight it was stressful and I thought okay I had just had Lucy she wasn't even a year I think she was three months old and I thought I have to go to work and I had worked before at this Cafe as a Sur as a waitress and so I decided I needed to go back to work to help pay our bills help pay for our life and I hired my sister to come babysit the kids for me when I went to work morning shift and it was about three months I think she was in there and I just I couldn't take it every day she came home her well first of all they put her in kindergarten because she wasn't reading as well as they wanted her to read but all the other subject she tested in second grade for so I was a little bitter that they decided to put her in kindergarten we were we were doing a certain diet with her because she's always had congestion and I made her lunch to take I fed her breakfast every day before she left and every day she came home she said you know we she'd get there a little early and the teachers would have her sit with all the kids eating breakfast and she said that the teachers would tell her she has to eat breakfast which consisted of like chocolate chip muffins and chocolate milk and all of these sugary breakfast things that we do not eat like that's not breakfast in my house it never has been that's a snack you know that's a sweet treat um to us breakfast is hearty but so that was a little upsetting that they were having her eat even though I I asked her you know did you tell them you already had breakfast or maybe tell them you're not hungry yes ma'am I told them you know this but they said I had to eat it that was that was frustrating but the teacher would do some type of game or activity that involved them you know maybe counting or alphabet phonic something like that where they would receive candy as a reward so I had talked to the teacher and said I don't want Madison getting this because we don't do food coloring and I don't want her consuming all of this sugar because we don't eat that um she personally Madison she gets very sick when she consumes too much sugar I mean she like vomits and we've had episodes we're waking up in the middle of the night where I'm like trying to you know get her up after a birthday party and she had you know one too many cupcakes or and one too many is like two for her she's always has been real sensitive to that even after I talked to the teacher though it was still like well I don't want her to be left out so I'm going to do it anyways kind of had was her attitude and I was like no no this is my child and you can't respect that that's that's disrespectful like that's not okay with me um so all of those things just kind of turned me off to whatever she had been learning to to the whole idea and I was like I am not going to do this anymore like absolutely not I we can stay on The Struggle Bus I will come home from work which my husband was so happy because he he wants me and I want to but I am so blessed to have a husband who wants me to be home and raise our children and not leave you know be the primary caregiver for our children and that is what I want um but I'm blessed to have a husband like that so he was so leave when I said I'm quitting I'm coming back home the Lord's going to work it out for us and so we um unenrolled her from school and never looked back but that was very challenging um as not only a mom but a homeschooler is oh I felt like she had to be in school learning but she was only five she didn't have to be there um so you know that was a time I just felt intimidated well it didn't help that our neighbors at the time were the principles of the elementary school and so they were like a close eye on us and like your kids need to be in school and stuff and I just wanted to be nice but it really wasn't a good relationship anyways um so I was like I don't care what you think I'm doing what I want to do that sounds like every homeschool mom yeah yeah what is something that you just can't get behind it doesn't have to be homeschool related but it could be so what's something that you just disagree with spill it let me dry my sweaty hands oh no oh it's so controversial but it's okay you know um oh good is it really everyone's allowed to have their own opinions okay so don't come for me no I'm just kidding um I I cannot get behind radical unschooling um I just I can't I I have seen it firsthand and I have read the studies and they're wonderful but I feel like there comes a point maybe in um High School when a when a kid hits high school and they're they don't know the things that they should know because you haven't made you know made the decision to sit them down and learn all of their multiplication tables they're not going to choose to sit down and pick up that workbook that you laid on the table strategically placed for them to hopefully pick up yes and it's it's actually not for me either and I see that when I read John Holt and Peter gray so many of the points that are made in those books are phenomenal and I agree 100% and then based on my educational background where I would get kids who were in fourth grade and not reading or I have known unschoolers who learned no math until High School there comes a point where doors start to close and so often when when I'm coaching a mama who unschooling is very appealing to her I often ask this is a radical lifestyle choice so you need to read up on this because what can happen is it's very appealing in the younger years and it's great and then Panic sets in and you decide you don't want to be an unschooler um I'm thinking of a person that I was actually coaching very recently regarding this utter panic I made a big mistake my kids are now going to be behind I don't know if they're going to be able to get into college that type of thing and then that's a big thing to have to change that when you so it's like it's kind of a very I think it's a very serious educational decision that is a huge Buy in and I think a lot of people don't understand first they don't understand unschooling but also they aren't really un I think most people that I meet who call themselves unschoolers aren't really unschoolers because they want their kids to have foundations do you find that too I mean I know there are the radical ones out there but and so and I'm a big proponent of you know this because you hear me in office hours all the time is literacy foundational skills a lot can be interest Le so much in our home schools can be interest Le and but there are some certain things that require foundational Learning Blocks that need to be in place over a progression of many years in order to have a highly literate individual or an individual that has the reasoning to be able to look at word problems and be able to work through those math problems and things like that so you know you thought you thought that was G to be controversial it is I don't think I have I don't think I think it is um just just because I do follow some some unschoolers some radical unschoolers on social media and it's very offensive to them and I don't I don't want to offend them you know me I I want to I want to State my thoughts and opinions but I don't don't want to make them feel like they're a horrible person or a bad homeschooling parent because they choose that you know I would never I would never you know do that um but like because my mom didn't Implement a handwriting curriculum I I don't believe it was there but when I graduated and started working with these girls that were my age I got so one of my first jobs besides a movie theater I got hired on at inhibit Sports as assistant manager right away she said you're homeschooled will you be my assistant manager I was like um sure I guess I don't know so whenever children get older they're you're going to have that push back and that you know comes back to unschooling as they get older you're going to have that push back are they are they going to graduate and have you know not know all their multiplication tables or have horrible penmanship or what whatever it may be and then start resenting you as a parent for that you know I don't want my kids to have any resentment towards me for choosing to homeschool them yeah um and so if I can help in any way like buying the right curriculum that can help them I'm going to do that because I want them yes to feel like they had a great experience being homeschooled one of the reasons why I started the community was I wanted to help moms create homeschools their kids thank them for later yes I love that so Rachel where can the listeners find you I have YouTube my handle is oh hey it's Rachel I also have is that on Instagram as well as Tik Tok I also have Instagram and Tik Tok if you want to find me you're probably going to find me on Tik Tok once a week with a video good well I love it and we'll put all of those links to those Handles in the show notes I have valued your friendship so very much I feel like we've grown together very fast in a in a really good healthy way and I just want to thank you Rachel for being on the show today I can't wait to share this with everybody thank you so much for having me