Latest / Scam Goddess / The Blazin’ Embezzler w/ Brendan Scannell (Fraud Friday)

Transcript

The Blazin’ Embezzler w/ Brendan Scannell (Fraud Friday) · Scam Goddess

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: What's poppin Congregation? Is your girl? Lacey Mosley aka Scam Goddess.
• 0:05
  Speaker 1: Welcome to an episode of Fraud Fridays, where we release
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: older episodes from the Scam Goddess bault. That's right, Fraud
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: Fridays is where we bring back your favorite episodes from
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: behind the paywall. Enjoy this episode from behind the paywall,
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: and as always, stay scheming, scam, come robbery and froll scam,
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: Come robb and froll Scam Goddess. What was poppin? Congregation? Hallelujah?
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: We're back on the Sanctified and save Tuesday for another
• 0:51
  Speaker 1: episode of Scam Goddess Podcast, the podcast that's dedicated to robbery, fraud,
• 0:56
  Speaker 1: cons all those things of the like, and it's also
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: a comedy show. Have y'all picked up on NAG yet?
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: All right, guys, it's me Lacy mostly a ka Scam Goddess,
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: and as always, I'm what, Yes, I'm excited, I'm thrilled,
• 1:09
  Speaker 1: I'm fucking elated for our guests that we have today.
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: You have seen him in the reboot of Heathers and
• 1:16
  Speaker 1: if you did see him in that, honey, you definitely
• 1:19
  Speaker 1: saw him playing Pete Devon in the Netflix, Dark comedy bonding. Okay,
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: that's good. You the do Okay, we got a the
• 1:26
  Speaker 1: Doon King in the house. Honey, Yes, guys, Brendan Scanel, Yes,
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: did I say your last name correctly? Because yes?
• 1:35
  Speaker 2: Okay?
• 1:35
  Speaker 1: Great? Great?
• 1:36
  Speaker 2: Great because it's the don King.
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: Yes, then the King of the dog.
• 1:44
  Speaker 2: But the dogs.
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: Oh god, maybe see I wasn't even going there, Brendan,
• 1:51
  Speaker 1: you took it there. I was talking about the the Dome. Hi, Briandan,
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: how are you?
• 1:56
  Speaker 2: I'm good? Happy Friday.
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: Yes, we are recording on a Friday. I love a
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: good Friday recording. I feel very loose and relaxed, like
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: I have a real job, as if tomorrow means something
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: to me.
• 2:06
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah, it totally doesn't. All I did today I
• 2:09
  Speaker 2: got a rapid test and came bag nag love so
• 2:13
  Speaker 2: I can enter this weekend and do nothing.
• 2:16
  Speaker 1: Yes. Do you know that that's actually something that's risen
• 2:20
  Speaker 1: on dating profiles now. People are putting if they're vaccinated
• 2:24
  Speaker 1: or when their latest COVID test was. I was like, okay,
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: ooh yeah. The dating apps are everybody's trying to advertise
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: themselves like the best candidate possible.
• 2:33
  Speaker 2: I mean, that's how it's kind of always been on
• 2:35
  Speaker 2: the LGBT dating apps, you know.
• 2:38
  Speaker 1: Oh, they've always had their stuff up.
• 2:40
  Speaker 2: No, I mean, you know, people want to know your
• 2:42
  Speaker 2: status and that sort of thing.
• 2:43
  Speaker 1: That's true, that's true, understood. Well, now everybody's doing it,
• 2:46
  Speaker 1: and I appreciate that because they should be. Yes. Wait, okay,
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: so do you have any relationship with scams, Like, have
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: you ever been scammed? Do you like scams? Do you
• 2:55
  Speaker 1: hate scammers? It can be anything.
• 2:58
  Speaker 2: I mean, I feel like this is such a a
• 3:00
  Speaker 2: moment of scam in our culture, you know. So I'm
• 3:04
  Speaker 2: a big fan of, you know, medical scams. I was
• 3:07
  Speaker 2: really into the idea that all of all of LA
• 3:11
  Speaker 2: had these COVID tests at Dodger Stadium for like six
• 3:15
  Speaker 2: months basically, and you would go and you'd drive through
• 3:18
  Speaker 2: and they would test you. And it was this company
• 3:21
  Speaker 2: started by this twenty five year old obviously, and then
• 3:24
  Speaker 2: six months into it, we find out that those tests
• 3:27
  Speaker 2: aren't accurate and haven't been accurate for the past six months.
• 3:31
  Speaker 2: So like people are like going on trips based on
• 3:33
  Speaker 2: their Dodger Stadium COVID tests. People are seeing their families.
• 3:37
  Speaker 2: I saw my family, and of course it's like some
• 3:40
  Speaker 2: twenty five year old who knows somebody at city Hall
• 3:43
  Speaker 2: and got an one hundred million dollar contract for his
• 3:45
  Speaker 2: little startup, so very interested in that, sort of like
• 3:48
  Speaker 2: drop out, somebody pretending they know how to do something,
• 3:51
  Speaker 2: And because we all know nothing about medicine, we're like, yeah, sure, I.
• 3:55
  Speaker 1: Love those two. We actually just talked about one of
• 3:57
  Speaker 1: those with Dianna on a different episode. At two year
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: old in Philadelphia just started vaccinating people and everybody was like, Okay.
• 4:05
  Speaker 2: Who are these people?
• 4:07
  Speaker 1: I don't know, but I love them. I love that
• 4:09
  Speaker 1: they have the audacity and the gall to be like, oh,
• 4:12
  Speaker 1: a global pandemic, let me get involved, let me get
• 4:15
  Speaker 1: my coins up.
• 4:16
  Speaker 2: I love all the cases, like people love just being
• 4:19
  Speaker 2: told that you know how to do something. Like Elizabeth Holmes,
• 4:21
  Speaker 2: the Theoranose person was just like, yeah, we can test
• 4:26
  Speaker 2: all your blood, I guess with one little prick, and
• 4:29
  Speaker 2: she got a billion dollars for it for making.
• 4:32
  Speaker 1: Up the tiny I loved her tiny thing. It was
• 4:34
  Speaker 1: just very tiny and a secret. It's the perfect scam.
• 4:37
  Speaker 1: I live for it. So yeah, okay, I like, I like,
• 4:39
  Speaker 1: you're like an enterprise scammer. You like somebody who's getting
• 4:42
  Speaker 1: in an industry and just completely making up their whole
• 4:44
  Speaker 1: career path.
• 4:45
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm like a Bernie Madeoff type scam person, like, yes,
• 4:48
  Speaker 2: I have all your money, it's right here. I haven't
• 4:51
  Speaker 2: been spending it on till on boats. You know that's
• 4:54
  Speaker 2: right right too.
• 4:56
  Speaker 1: Don't worry about my new plane and definitely is not
• 4:58
  Speaker 1: none of your money.
• 4:58
  Speaker 2: Okay?
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: Would you like to give some more?
• 5:01
  Speaker 2: Like?
• 5:01
  Speaker 1: Oh, I love those, I'm also obsessed. Well, guys, let's
• 5:04
  Speaker 1: get into it. Our first segment here is called What's
• 5:07
  Speaker 1: Hot in Fraud. This is where we warn our listeners
• 5:09
  Speaker 1: about popping frauds on the streets, or we get a
• 5:11
  Speaker 1: listener letter and let you guys snitch on your friends
• 5:13
  Speaker 1: and family. As always, if you want to snitch, just
• 5:16
  Speaker 1: make sure your scam is retired and email it to
• 5:18
  Speaker 1: scam gottess pot at gmail dot com. We love to
• 5:21
  Speaker 1: hear it. So I need a fake name Brendan for
• 5:23
  Speaker 1: this person. We don't care about gender on the show,
• 5:25
  Speaker 1: so it.
• 5:25
  Speaker 2: Can be any Tabitha.
• 5:27
  Speaker 1: Tabitha. Oh, I like Tabitha. That reminds me of my
• 5:30
  Speaker 1: favorite Tabitha, which is Miss Tabitha, the black lady who
• 5:33
  Speaker 1: just says encouraging things in a veilamity voice. Everyone's auntie.
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: Have you heard of Miss Tabitha? No, oh, you gotta get
• 5:42
  Speaker 1: into Miss Tabitha. She'd be on TikTok and she want
• 5:44
  Speaker 1: to insacram and she'd just be like, hey, baby, you're
• 5:47
  Speaker 1: doing great, and I'm like thanks, thanks, Miss Tabitha.
• 5:49
  Speaker 2: It's like asmr Tabitha.
• 5:51
  Speaker 1: Yes, she's a queen, but I'm also managing her.
• 5:56
  Speaker 2: If that's not what she is available for live show's vaccinated, right.
• 6:01
  Speaker 1: I do all of her bookings and all of her payroll.
• 6:04
  Speaker 2: So yeah, she's doing drive in Miss Tabitha at the
• 6:08
  Speaker 2: Rose Bowl next weekend.
• 6:10
  Speaker 1: You'll drive in with Sabbatha.
• 6:11
  Speaker 2: I'm weak.
• 6:12
  Speaker 1: They had those driving strip clubs.
• 6:14
  Speaker 2: What y'all get? It's not a culture I'm dropped into.
• 6:19
  Speaker 1: You don't want to get up there to support the
• 6:20
  Speaker 1: strippers in your vehicle.
• 6:22
  Speaker 2: I'm supporting drag queens in my vehicle. That's about all.
• 6:24
  Speaker 2: That's about as far as I can supports. Drag queens
• 6:27
  Speaker 2: are sort of strippers.
• 6:29
  Speaker 1: Yeah, at times they do strip, and also their wardrobe
• 6:31
  Speaker 1: is very intense.
• 6:32
  Speaker 2: So we'll say burlesque adjacent, which I think we're all
• 6:35
  Speaker 2: in the burlesque umbrella here.
• 6:37
  Speaker 1: That's very true. So Tabitha says, Okay, this is such
• 6:41
  Speaker 1: a minor and petty scam. But I was a savvy
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: seventeen year old. The year was two thousand and seven.
• 6:47
  Speaker 1: Oh okay, I like this, like the year take me
• 6:49
  Speaker 1: back one thousand and seven. The place Senior High School
• 6:53
  Speaker 1: and I worked part time at Baskin and Robins is
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: being a rabbit two people.
• 7:00
  Speaker 2: I thought it was just Baskin Robbins.
• 7:04
  Speaker 1: I always thought it was basking and Robins. She put
• 7:06
  Speaker 1: a dash here, so it's still very unclear.
• 7:09
  Speaker 2: Slash, oh, Baskin, slash.
• 7:12
  Speaker 1: Robins, basketing in his homeboy.
• 7:14
  Speaker 2: Robins or dash Robbins. Like it's like a last name
• 7:16
  Speaker 2: of two people who.
• 7:17
  Speaker 1: Don't they have a dash? Yeah, they have a dash,
• 7:20
  Speaker 1: So I'm not sure, but it's given Batman and Robin.
• 7:23
  Speaker 1: Like it's like basket and also Robin. I don't know.
• 7:27
  Speaker 1: But so she says she was robbing basket and Robin,
• 7:29
  Speaker 1: and I love to hear it. So the person who
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: owned the store was super old and refused to update technology.
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: We used our credit card machine that was basically from
• 7:37
  Speaker 1: the nineties, and it was detached from our register and
• 7:39
  Speaker 1: hooked up to the damn landline. A mess. I've actually
• 7:43
  Speaker 1: worked with one of those before. I bartended in New
• 7:46
  Speaker 1: York City with one of these where you had to
• 7:48
  Speaker 1: write tabs down and just stick them on top of
• 7:51
  Speaker 1: the credit card and then close everyone out at the
• 7:54
  Speaker 1: end of the night.
• 7:55
  Speaker 2: Oh like a little like swipey thing.
• 7:58
  Speaker 1: No, like a little like we just stuck your credit
• 8:01
  Speaker 1: card on this rail at a bar and then we
• 8:03
  Speaker 1: put a piece of paper on top of it with
• 8:05
  Speaker 1: all the drinks you order, and then at the end of.
• 8:08
  Speaker 2: The night we charged it.
• 8:10
  Speaker 1: Yes, it's on an old time in charge in machine.
• 8:13
  Speaker 2: Interesting. I worked at a cold Stone for like three
• 8:16
  Speaker 2: years in high school and I was like a very
• 8:18
  Speaker 2: much a wizard at the cash register. But yeah, it
• 8:23
  Speaker 2: was not attached to a phone. It's updated.
• 8:26
  Speaker 1: Okay, that's cute. So wait a Coldstone? Was that?
• 8:28
  Speaker 2: Like?
• 8:29
  Speaker 1: Is that what a girl is? Like? Scrape the ice
• 8:31
  Speaker 1: cream with the little paintmenters and then they slip it,
• 8:34
  Speaker 1: cook it.
• 8:35
  Speaker 2: You scrape it, you put it on a cold sheet,
• 8:38
  Speaker 2: and you add like kit kats and stuff and you
• 8:40
  Speaker 2: charge people like fourteen dollars, which was a big scam.
• 8:43
  Speaker 2: People would be like it's how much. And this was
• 8:47
  Speaker 2: in Indiana, which is like you.
• 8:49
  Speaker 1: Know whoa, yeah, that's the way, that's the way.
• 8:51
  Speaker 2: We're like, I came in here for a scoop of
• 8:53
  Speaker 2: butter pecan because that's how they said pecans, and and
• 8:57
  Speaker 2: they're like, this is one hundred dollars.
• 9:00
  Speaker 1: I just love the image of you Brendan like over
• 9:03
  Speaker 1: here giving him a real show, like chop chop chop,
• 9:05
  Speaker 1: slip flip flip, and they're like, that'll be forty dollars.
• 9:09
  Speaker 2: I was like manager of that place. I was running
• 9:11
  Speaker 2: that place, oh see, and a bunch of like high
• 9:14
  Speaker 2: school girls who were on the soccer team and me
• 9:18
  Speaker 2: and we we ran the cold Stone basically in Valparaiso, Indiana.
• 9:22
  Speaker 1: Wow, sounds like you know, way you're making it sound
• 9:25
  Speaker 1: sounds like you were like we ran the coats cold
• 9:27
  Speaker 1: We did, Yeah.
• 9:28
  Speaker 3: We ran the saying you sang yes.
• 9:33
  Speaker 1: I wish I could have visited this skull style. So
• 9:36
  Speaker 1: they were using their bouleg credit car machine. One night
• 9:38
  Speaker 1: when I was closing with another teen worker, she taught
• 9:41
  Speaker 1: me a trick. A trick you say, okay.
• 9:44
  Speaker 2: It's going to be a scam, right, what kind of trick.
• 9:47
  Speaker 1: Is this a legal one? That's what I'm a start
• 9:48
  Speaker 1: calling scams tricks? What are you talking about? We just
• 9:50
  Speaker 1: did a little magic trick and your money went away.
• 9:52
  Speaker 2: What's wrong turning tricks? Stealing?
• 9:56
  Speaker 1: Yes? Yes, So whenever customer bought a hand packed pint
• 10:02
  Speaker 1: and was paying cash six seven dollars something like that,
• 10:05
  Speaker 1: she would pack it and pretend to ring it up
• 10:06
  Speaker 1: but really ring in a kid's cone. That way she
• 10:09
  Speaker 1: could make the change and enter the sale. Then she'd
• 10:11
  Speaker 1: take the extra five dollars and put it in our
• 10:13
  Speaker 1: tip jar. We got really good at this scam. We
• 10:16
  Speaker 1: only did it with pints because there was no way
• 10:18
  Speaker 1: to trace the inventory cones we had to count.
• 10:21
  Speaker 2: Okay, wow, familiar right.
• 10:26
  Speaker 1: We also had two other minor scams going. The teen
• 10:29
  Speaker 1: boys at the quiz Nose across the street would trade
• 10:31
  Speaker 1: us sandwiches for ice cream, and we, of course hooked
• 10:33
  Speaker 1: up our friends whenever they came in. The final scam
• 10:36
  Speaker 1: was trading ice cream for weed, which I'm proud to say,
• 10:39
  Speaker 1: my dorky ass never did love the show. Okay, so
• 10:41
  Speaker 1: you didn't do it, but somebody else was selling fun.
• 10:44
  Speaker 2: So familiar this. We also had a quiz nose across
• 10:47
  Speaker 2: from the cold Stone, and they would bring in stuff
• 10:49
  Speaker 2: and we would give them stuff. One time a guy
• 10:51
  Speaker 2: got fired and as he was being fired, he stole
• 10:54
  Speaker 2: like a whole thing of ice cream, like a huge
• 10:57
  Speaker 2: container of it. But it's like, where do you put that?
• 11:00
  Speaker 1: Josh, I'm proud of him. That's the biddiest thing. How
• 11:04
  Speaker 1: you just try to roll out a bunch.
• 11:05
  Speaker 2: Of the franchise owner.
• 11:09
  Speaker 1: In the night. Cause I'm taking this that of ice cream.
• 11:14
  Speaker 1: I know. I love that for him though. Okay, Josh,
• 11:17
  Speaker 1: we see you king. I feel like this is a
• 11:19
  Speaker 1: fun scam. Seems like you had a crotchety, mean boss
• 11:23
  Speaker 1: and took a couple.
• 11:24
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, you can't trust she sounds like a teenager.
• 11:28
  Speaker 2: You just can't trust teens to run your business.
• 11:30
  Speaker 1: No. And that's the thing about minimum wage, Just like
• 11:33
  Speaker 1: y'all don't want to pay people a living wage. So
• 11:35
  Speaker 1: teenagers who have their income for the most part subsidized
• 11:38
  Speaker 1: by the families that they live in, y'all pay them shit.
• 11:41
  Speaker 1: They should rob.
• 11:42
  Speaker 2: You hire an adult, right.
• 11:45
  Speaker 1: I can't telling people like y'all. I don't understand why
• 11:47
  Speaker 1: people are mad about minimum wage going up when really,
• 11:49
  Speaker 1: maybe your theft will go down because y'all all get robbed.
• 11:52
  Speaker 1: You're paying seven twenty five an hour. I'm stealing something.
• 11:55
  Speaker 1: I don't care where I work. If I work at
• 11:57
  Speaker 1: an office, I'm stealing staples, those little tiny texts. I'm
• 12:00
  Speaker 1: gonna steal that stuff that you use instead of licking
• 12:02
  Speaker 1: the envelope, and I'll rubbing on all my home envelopes like
• 12:05
  Speaker 1: I'm taking I'm.
• 12:06
  Speaker 2: Just going to print everything all my documents at the
• 12:09
  Speaker 2: work printer.
• 12:10
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 12:10
  Speaker 2: I worked at an accounting firm in college randomly, and
• 12:14
  Speaker 2: I yeah, I was supposed to. I had this huge
• 12:17
  Speaker 2: scanning job that I was supposed to like scan all
• 12:19
  Speaker 2: their files into documents. And I would just show up
• 12:23
  Speaker 2: and like scan a file, check reddit, do nothing for
• 12:27
  Speaker 2: like six hours, and then I'd be like, well, bye, I.
• 12:30
  Speaker 1: Love this for you. I mean, that's what you're going
• 12:32
  Speaker 1: to get when you don't pay people. Why should they care.
• 12:35
  Speaker 1: I would do the same thing, but for real, I'm
• 12:37
  Speaker 1: gonna steal anything that's not nailed down. If you're not
• 12:39
  Speaker 1: paying me enough, I don't even care if I need it,
• 12:41
  Speaker 1: I might steal it, walk out the door, throw it
• 12:42
  Speaker 1: in the trash.
• 12:43
  Speaker 2: I just working from home? Are you just like stealing
• 12:45
  Speaker 2: your own?
• 12:47
  Speaker 1: Whenever I get to go to somebody else's office, I'm
• 12:49
  Speaker 1: taking things. I literally went to Sweet Green yesterday and
• 12:52
  Speaker 1: I took forty straws.
• 12:56
  Speaker 2: I'm going to recycle these.
• 12:58
  Speaker 1: Right, I have these straws macholatees.
• 13:01
  Speaker 2: Wait, So when you're like shooting on a set, you know,
• 13:04
  Speaker 2: are you somebody who like at lunch ads extra puts
• 13:08
  Speaker 2: a little bit extra food away to like take home
• 13:10
  Speaker 2: for dinner. Is that your vibe?
• 13:12
  Speaker 1: See? I don't like carrying shit. One of my co
• 13:14
  Speaker 1: stars did me all the time on my last job.
• 13:16
  Speaker 1: But I will ask for certain snacks to be in
• 13:18
  Speaker 1: my fridge and then I'll be like, yee for me
• 13:20
  Speaker 1: is waiting? That's where I'll that's my grift. For sure.
• 13:24
  Speaker 2: It's like a weird job where for a little bit
• 13:27
  Speaker 2: of it, like people will bring you whatever you need
• 13:29
  Speaker 2: so that you don't Basically it's not even like a
• 13:31
  Speaker 2: classist thing. It's like it's so you that don't walk
• 13:35
  Speaker 2: away because if you walk away, they have to find you,
• 13:38
  Speaker 2: and if they've defined you, it's annoying. So they basically
• 13:42
  Speaker 2: it's like you feel like you're being like waited on,
• 13:43
  Speaker 2: but you're just like a baby a baby.
• 13:46
  Speaker 1: Right, you're also a child prisoner. Basically, they're like, get
• 13:49
  Speaker 1: the prisoner some juice so she'll shut up before someone
• 13:52
  Speaker 1: can get this take set up.
• 13:53
  Speaker 2: I know he needs to come play pretend. She needs
• 13:55
  Speaker 2: to be in a good bood to play pretend. Right.
• 13:58
  Speaker 1: I've had the most ridiculous thing I think I've ever
• 14:00
  Speaker 1: had someone bring me on a set was we were
• 14:02
  Speaker 1: shooting on location and one of my contacts just fucking
• 14:05
  Speaker 1: was like, bye, girl, We're done, see you next time.
• 14:09
  Speaker 1: And so someone had to go hit up a friend
• 14:12
  Speaker 1: of theirs who was an optometrist, get my prescription and
• 14:14
  Speaker 1: bring me a contact on set. My fucking abballs.
• 14:18
  Speaker 2: The scammiest thing I ever did was for Heathers. They
• 14:21
  Speaker 2: wanted me to shoot these like this whole promo recap
• 14:24
  Speaker 2: series and it was going to be just me, and
• 14:27
  Speaker 2: I was like, well, are you gonna pay me? And
• 14:29
  Speaker 2: they were like no, and that really pissed me off.
• 14:32
  Speaker 2: And then so when I showed up to do it,
• 14:35
  Speaker 2: because I at the time thought you had to do
• 14:36
  Speaker 2: everything in network asked you to do, which scam you don't,
• 14:40
  Speaker 2: You don't, you really don't. And so they were like, okay,
• 14:44
  Speaker 2: does Brendan have any crafty requests for food? And I said,
• 14:49
  Speaker 2: I only want moon juice. So everything on set that
• 14:53
  Speaker 2: day at Viacom I'm gower in the basement of Viacom
• 14:58
  Speaker 2: in Hollywood, was just like a full spread of moon
• 15:01
  Speaker 2: juice and they did it.
• 15:02
  Speaker 1: Oh my god, that's amazing. For you guys who don't
• 15:05
  Speaker 1: know what moon juice is, moon juice is some expensive
• 15:07
  Speaker 1: sale ass scammy ass juice. Every time I go in there,
• 15:11
  Speaker 1: I see common those, I'll be like, hey, moon juice.
• 15:13
  Speaker 1: This one a celebrity.
• 15:14
  Speaker 2: Shrink, very like activated charcoal almonds for forty dollars.
• 15:20
  Speaker 1: And then you don't feel no different after you drink
• 15:22
  Speaker 1: that shit. You know what, You feel a little lighter
• 15:24
  Speaker 1: because you're a little broker, you know.
• 15:27
  Speaker 2: I think it gives you all gives you diarrhea.
• 15:29
  Speaker 1: But we love that in La.
• 15:31
  Speaker 2: We love that it makes you lose weight, right, I.
• 15:35
  Speaker 1: Mean technically as always, though my disclaimer is a slap,
• 15:39
  Speaker 1: we do not endorse harmful ways of losing weight. We
• 15:44
  Speaker 1: are not fat phobic. But if y'all see me selling
• 15:46
  Speaker 1: some skinny tea, mind your business. Okay. I always told
• 15:51
  Speaker 1: people that at some point in my career, I wanted
• 15:53
  Speaker 1: to sell skinny tea on fit on Instagram.
• 15:55
  Speaker 2: That's like a that's like not your gender things that's
• 15:58
  Speaker 2: like a girl Instagram ad type thing that yes, they
• 16:02
  Speaker 2: can show up in my algorithm, Like all my ads
• 16:04
  Speaker 2: are like, hey, do you want this pair of sweats?
• 16:07
  Speaker 2: And it's a close up of a man's crotch in
• 16:10
  Speaker 2: the sweat, you know, Like it's like, maybe I do
• 16:13
  Speaker 2: need some more shorts that are just a photo of
• 16:16
  Speaker 2: a man's butt.
• 16:17
  Speaker 1: Look great. Sweatpants are lingerie for men. I hope that
• 16:20
  Speaker 1: every man has a pair and they let.
• 16:22
  Speaker 2: That bang bang right now.
• 16:24
  Speaker 1: Yes, yes, Brendon, we love to see it, and you
• 16:27
  Speaker 1: gotta let that bang bang sometimes. Yes scarce Ah, guys,
• 16:36
  Speaker 1: it's time for historic hoodwinks. If this is your first
• 16:38
  Speaker 1: time listening to the show, this is when I will
• 16:39
  Speaker 1: regale Brendan with a famous Khan caper Khan artiste, and
• 16:44
  Speaker 1: we'll get his opinions all throughout today. We're talking about
• 16:47
  Speaker 1: somebody that I think I fuck with. We never know.
• 16:50
  Speaker 1: Sometimes we won't fuck with the scammer. But this is Janie.
• 16:53
  Speaker 1: Excuse me, her name is Janis. I put it a
• 16:55
  Speaker 1: last even je Jenny.
• 17:03
  Speaker 2: I don't know any Genesis, so I.
• 17:05
  Speaker 1: Just like a Genesia that is not. Her name is Janie,
• 17:11
  Speaker 1: but I'm gonna call her Genesia. So Genesia is a
• 17:15
  Speaker 1: seventy three year old bookkeeper and she's been charged with
• 17:18
  Speaker 1: stealing more than a million dollars from her employer and
• 17:21
  Speaker 1: then attempting to cover up the crime by setting her
• 17:24
  Speaker 1: office on Faya.
• 17:27
  Speaker 2: Wow, maybe she is a Genie. Wow. Okay, that's a Janis.
• 17:30
  Speaker 1: That is that's a She's not a Genie. She's definitely
• 17:34
  Speaker 1: a Janis. She's got the Janice haircut.
• 17:37
  Speaker 2: That is like the haircut that every boy has right
• 17:39
  Speaker 2: now because they can't go to a barber.
• 17:41
  Speaker 1: Right. Oh damn. Here's the thing about Janni's is. I
• 17:44
  Speaker 1: really want to root for her, but her face is
• 17:47
  Speaker 1: giving me strong like call the manager like she's called.
• 17:51
  Speaker 2: She looks like all of my female family members. She
• 17:55
  Speaker 2: looks very like giving me those these Irish Catholic fairness,
• 17:59
  Speaker 2: blue eye.
• 18:00
  Speaker 1: A blonde something. But what we call them a bowl?
• 18:03
  Speaker 1: Is that a ball cut? She's got some sideburns. Yeah, okay,
• 18:07
  Speaker 1: it's giving pyrex. The haircut is giving pyrex bowl. But okay, Okay, janis.
• 18:15
  Speaker 2: So let's see what I look that she has a mask.
• 18:18
  Speaker 1: Right, she did have a y'all, she had a mask on.
• 18:21
  Speaker 1: I wonder if she wore it for the fire.
• 18:24
  Speaker 2: She puts in. I don't think that medical mask does
• 18:27
  Speaker 2: anything she's gonna need like a K ninety whatever?
• 18:30
  Speaker 1: Right, can mabe five el?
• 18:32
  Speaker 2: Yeah?
• 18:33
  Speaker 1: So the backstory. Janice Carlson lives in San Jose and
• 18:37
  Speaker 1: worked at Saratoga Real estate company for decades. However, she
• 18:41
  Speaker 1: allegedly embezzled and stole money from twenty fourteen through twenty nineteen,
• 18:45
  Speaker 1: five years on the grift amen.
• 18:48
  Speaker 2: She started late in her life. She was like, where's
• 18:50
  Speaker 2: my retirement fund?
• 18:52
  Speaker 1: Listen?
• 18:53
  Speaker 2: No four oh one K no pension at Saratoga. I'll
• 18:56
  Speaker 2: tell you that. Right.
• 18:58
  Speaker 1: She probably started looking at her savings and said, oh,
• 19:00
  Speaker 1: it's time for crime. And I love that for her, truly,
• 19:04
  Speaker 1: you got to make your own four one case sometimes so.
• 19:08
  Speaker 1: An investigator said she would issue checks from her employer
• 19:12
  Speaker 1: to pay off personal credit cards, her personal home loan account,
• 19:15
  Speaker 1: and her son's home loan accounts.
• 19:18
  Speaker 2: Okay, okay, so she's spreading the wealth.
• 19:21
  Speaker 1: She took care of her baby. We love a supportive mother.
• 19:24
  Speaker 1: You know what I mean. It is women's history months
• 19:26
  Speaker 1: shout out to the women.
• 19:28
  Speaker 2: At that point, he seems like he's probably like in
• 19:30
  Speaker 2: his forties, right, oh yeah, struggling overbought a lot of
• 19:36
  Speaker 2: people over by. That's true in houses may buy too
• 19:39
  Speaker 2: much house.
• 19:40
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you're right about that. Maybe. I also find it
• 19:43
  Speaker 1: funny that she was like, like she's showing up to
• 19:46
  Speaker 1: the bank, she's showing up to chase, you know, credit debit,
• 19:49
  Speaker 1: and she's like, here's your check. Girls, and they're like, okay,
• 19:52
  Speaker 1: this is Sarah Toga Realty on It. Oh yeah, yeah,
• 19:54
  Speaker 1: that's that's my company. I'm Sarah Tooga. That's my name.
• 19:58
  Speaker 2: That's my other name, Sarah Toga.
• 20:01
  Speaker 1: It's hypernated.
• 20:02
  Speaker 2: Yeah, she's got an escorp. You know, we're all committing
• 20:06
  Speaker 2: just a little bit of fraud through our escorpse.
• 20:08
  Speaker 1: Right dash just smitch, you know, for taste. I do
• 20:11
  Speaker 1: fraud to taste. I'm like this tastes like enough fry
• 20:13
  Speaker 1: like this.
• 20:14
  Speaker 2: Peloton is a business expense.
• 20:17
  Speaker 1: It is technically technically it's research, not it's research. I
• 20:23
  Speaker 1: do everything for research. So if I buy any movie,
• 20:25
  Speaker 1: if I go see any play, hell, if I get
• 20:27
  Speaker 1: my car washed. I'm like that was researchild I thought
• 20:30
  Speaker 1: I have to play a role as a car washer,
• 20:32
  Speaker 1: so I need to watch them watch my car. I
• 20:36
  Speaker 1: love a good I love a good tax scam the flavor,
• 20:39
  Speaker 1: So how she did it? On the morning of November fourth,
• 20:42
  Speaker 1: twenty nineteen, Janis arrived to work around seven thirty a m.
• 20:46
  Speaker 2: This is wow, exact love it.
• 20:49
  Speaker 1: She's punctual. You look, you can't be late and robbing
• 20:51
  Speaker 1: the business. Okay, gotta be there first, right, you on time?
• 20:56
  Speaker 1: The ain't asked no questions. She told police that after
• 20:59
  Speaker 1: re entering the office, she remembered an unknown assailant coming
• 21:02
  Speaker 1: up from behind her duct taping her eyes and her
• 21:07
  Speaker 1: mouth is closed, and stripping her body down to her
• 21:12
  Speaker 1: on the west before the place on fire. Okay, now,
• 21:17
  Speaker 1: just so did.
• 21:17
  Speaker 2: They find her like that? Because how did she do?
• 21:22
  Speaker 2: How do you do that by yourself?
• 21:25
  Speaker 1: Questions that need answers. I mean, you can tape your
• 21:27
  Speaker 1: mouth and then your eyes, and then I bet if
• 21:30
  Speaker 1: you like really rolled around on some duct table, you'll
• 21:33
  Speaker 1: probably get it around your wrist and you do your
• 21:35
  Speaker 1: ankles first, hands last.
• 21:38
  Speaker 2: Right, So she's saying she showed up to work at
• 21:42
  Speaker 2: a real teap, a realtor's company. Okay, so not a
• 21:46
  Speaker 2: place where money is held in any sort of vault.
• 21:49
  Speaker 2: And somebody tied her up and lit the place on fire.
• 21:53
  Speaker 2: Mm hmm.
• 21:53
  Speaker 1: That's what she said. That's what she said. That happened
• 21:56
  Speaker 1: to her. And they stripped her down too, They didn't
• 21:59
  Speaker 1: they nothing else happened, but for some reason, they did
• 22:02
  Speaker 1: not want her to wear her clothes, which I feel
• 22:04
  Speaker 1: like that's just she watched too many movies and.
• 22:06
  Speaker 2: She was watching too much Fatal Attraction.
• 22:08
  Speaker 1: What else? What else? They cooked my rabbit. They also
• 22:11
  Speaker 1: cooked my rabbit on the stove, y'all.
• 22:13
  Speaker 2: Like Janni's definitely has a bunny, right.
• 22:17
  Speaker 1: She definitely has a bunny who got cooked on this day.
• 22:21
  Speaker 1: So reports say that she did not have a memory
• 22:24
  Speaker 1: of anything else related to the assault until she was
• 22:26
  Speaker 1: awoken by fire sprinklers and being helped by the firefighters.
• 22:31
  Speaker 2: This sounds seductive for me, like I'm getting deeply like
• 22:34
  Speaker 2: she read this in an erotic book.
• 22:36
  Speaker 1: It's a little warning.
• 22:37
  Speaker 2: It's a little warning.
• 22:38
  Speaker 1: Right, it's giving Shonda Rhymes, it's giving Bridgerton. It feels
• 22:41
  Speaker 1: like the firemen pick you up, and then I don't
• 22:44
  Speaker 1: know y'all have a romp and a flames.
• 22:46
  Speaker 3: I don't know.
• 22:49
  Speaker 2: Is that actually like just having sex surrounded by fire?
• 22:54
  Speaker 1: The carbon monoxide really adds to the sexual experience. So yes,
• 23:01
  Speaker 1: very horny this description and this setup. So after Janice
• 23:06
  Speaker 1: was rescued, she was treated for a cut to the
• 23:09
  Speaker 1: back of her head and a broken nose. Okay, commitment.
• 23:13
  Speaker 1: So Janice, did you hit yourself with a bag of
• 23:15
  Speaker 1: orangees because that's what it's oranges? I don't know, or
• 23:22
  Speaker 1: like if she had to hit herself in the back
• 23:23
  Speaker 1: of her head to was she just in her rocking
• 23:25
  Speaker 1: back and forth in the corner, just hit the nose,
• 23:27
  Speaker 1: hit in the head.
• 23:29
  Speaker 2: You hate that moment for Janice where she's like, just
• 23:31
  Speaker 2: fucking do it.
• 23:32
  Speaker 1: Janice, you gotta just hyping herself up. You've been letting money,
• 23:37
  Speaker 1: you stupid bitch. This is perfect, Brendan. That voice is
• 23:43
  Speaker 1: absolutely perfect. That's definitely Jannis, Like.
• 23:45
  Speaker 2: I have been pinned. I'm auditioning for Janice. I just
• 23:49
  Speaker 2: bought the rights to Janie's story.
• 23:52
  Speaker 1: Honestly, you should. This would be a great role for you, Brendan, Seriously,
• 23:55
  Speaker 1: because I definitely see her this way. She's probably just like,
• 23:57
  Speaker 1: my son needs this money.
• 24:01
  Speaker 2: Real left turn for.
• 24:02
  Speaker 1: Brendan right, They were like wow, yeah, so he went
• 24:05
  Speaker 1: from bonding on Netflix. So yeah, he's in a lifetime
• 24:07
  Speaker 1: movie called Janice the Horny Fire.
• 24:13
  Speaker 2: Is it Janie a Denise?
• 24:15
  Speaker 1: We call her Genie, but it is Janie, but I
• 24:17
  Speaker 1: feel like it's Janie or Deanie in the Horny Fire. Sorry, Brendan,
• 24:23
  Speaker 1: now why I want this for you? Let's make it happen.
• 24:27
  Speaker 1: So soon after being released from the hospital, she immediately
• 24:30
  Speaker 1: filed for workers compensation and injury benefits.
• 24:34
  Speaker 2: You know, doing the paperwork. Why wouldn't it be suspicious
• 24:38
  Speaker 2: not to right, That's.
• 24:40
  Speaker 1: Absolutely what she should do. So deputies became suspicious of
• 24:43
  Speaker 1: a crime when they noted that nothing had been taken
• 24:45
  Speaker 1: from the scene and later documented the embezzlement.
• 24:49
  Speaker 2: So so did the blighting it on fire lead to
• 24:56
  Speaker 2: them finding about out about the embezzlement. She cook her
• 25:01
  Speaker 2: own book.
• 25:02
  Speaker 1: I literally, she physically cooked the book like it was
• 25:05
  Speaker 1: stir fried. But I wonder if she knew that people
• 25:08
  Speaker 1: were about to catch on or something. But here's my thing. Janis, Okay,
• 25:12
  Speaker 1: if you want to fake a robbery, yes, go the
• 25:15
  Speaker 1: fire direction, absolutely, but are you trying to tell me
• 25:18
  Speaker 1: that a man came up to you from behind dumc
• 25:20
  Speaker 1: taped you, stripped you naked, and then began embezzling over
• 25:25
  Speaker 1: four years time. He was like, what's your passwords? Your
• 25:29
  Speaker 1: old bitch, and then he was like, yes, I'm gonna
• 25:31
  Speaker 1: embezzle so many checks. So but the next four years, girl.
• 25:36
  Speaker 2: I'm always curious about like these people's not to talk
• 25:41
  Speaker 2: about it, but acting skills, like when they're being interrogated.
• 25:44
  Speaker 2: You know, it's like, uh, you know what. He wrapped
• 25:46
  Speaker 2: the duct tape around my eyes before, so you know,
• 25:49
  Speaker 2: I really couldn't get a look good look at him, right.
• 25:52
  Speaker 1: I don't like it.
• 25:52
  Speaker 2: I don't believe it. I don't believe it.
• 25:55
  Speaker 1: I also feel like she was telling this story like
• 25:57
  Speaker 1: it was a Ya novel, Like I feel like she
• 25:59
  Speaker 1: sat down and they were like, would you like some coffee?
• 26:01
  Speaker 1: And she was like, no, no, I'm fine. So what
• 26:04
  Speaker 1: happened was a strong man with burly hands ravaged me.
• 26:11
  Speaker 1: First she took my eyes, then my mouth.
• 26:15
  Speaker 2: Like he stripped off my pants from Delia's, my blouse
• 26:22
  Speaker 2: from Marshalls, and as.
• 26:24
  Speaker 1: It cascaded to the floor, I thought, is he gonna
• 26:28
  Speaker 1: kill me.
• 26:30
  Speaker 2: There, like ma'am, ma'am, I am wet.
• 26:36
  Speaker 1: She thought she need to distract them with how warrior
• 26:37
  Speaker 1: it was, because yeah, why are they breaking into the
• 26:40
  Speaker 1: Saratoga Realty not stealing anything, stripping you naked and setting
• 26:45
  Speaker 1: the place on fire, Like, since the math ain't mathing,
• 26:48
  Speaker 1: we need some more maths.
• 26:49
  Speaker 2: No motive. There's no motive here.
• 26:52
  Speaker 1: Right, and the only person who has motive is you,
• 26:55
  Speaker 1: So you know, something didn't add up makes sense, And
• 26:58
  Speaker 1: the case was immediately classified as a suspicious circumstance rather
• 27:02
  Speaker 1: than an assault and kidnapping. So damn, my cold sist.
• 27:05
  Speaker 1: Janice didn't even get away for a second.
• 27:07
  Speaker 2: Uh huh.
• 27:10
  Speaker 1: Authorities quickly ruled out any public threat. So this is
• 27:13
  Speaker 1: how she got caught. Apparently, it wasn't long after Janice
• 27:17
  Speaker 1: was confronted with an accounting irregularity that the office had
• 27:20
  Speaker 1: been set on fire. So just like we were.
• 27:22
  Speaker 2: Saying, like, this is an impulsive move. If you can
• 27:26
  Speaker 2: cook the books, you can uncook the books. You know.
• 27:29
  Speaker 1: I think we actually have some transcript right now from
• 27:32
  Speaker 1: that actual conversation that happened at Janie's workplace. Hey, excuse me, Janie,
• 27:38
  Speaker 1: could you come in here?
• 27:40
  Speaker 2: Yeah, what is it? Bill?
• 27:42
  Speaker 1: Hey Janie, So I just want to talk to you
• 27:44
  Speaker 1: about some checks that we got. There's a little suspicious.
• 27:47
  Speaker 2: Oh my god, where's my riner?
• 27:50
  Speaker 1: Wait? Jannie?
• 27:51
  Speaker 2: Wait?
• 27:51
  Speaker 1: Why are you looking for your lighter? Wait? We just
• 27:53
  Speaker 1: want to figure out why Saratoga Realty is making personal
• 27:57
  Speaker 1: payments directly to European wax Center. It looks like several waxes.
• 28:02
  Speaker 1: In fact, that year package was purchased with a check
• 28:04
  Speaker 1: from Saratoga Realty.
• 28:06
  Speaker 2: Sorry, Bill, I thought you said you liked a landing strip.
• 28:09
  Speaker 1: No, no, no, no, we were talking about a home that
• 28:11
  Speaker 1: we had that has a landing strip for a private plane. Yeah, okay,
• 28:16
  Speaker 1: seems like a simple mistake. Yeah, you can go back
• 28:18
  Speaker 1: to your office, Janis.
• 28:18
  Speaker 2: Oh thanks, I actually don't have an office. I sit
• 28:20
  Speaker 2: out in a cubicle, just out in the you know,
• 28:23
  Speaker 2: the the bullpen.
• 28:24
  Speaker 1: Okay, Yeah, you can go back there, you can go okay, thanks,
• 28:27
  Speaker 1: all right, Well that's up to me.
• 28:29
  Speaker 2: I gotta call my son. I gotta call my son
• 28:33
  Speaker 2: on his landline that I pay for.
• 28:37
  Speaker 1: Oh my god, that's a little So that's what happened, guys.
• 28:39
  Speaker 1: I was real live footage from Janis getting caught and
• 28:44
  Speaker 1: then ironically the office guy set off fire. Weird, bizarre. So,
• 28:48
  Speaker 1: investigations found that Janis had already allegedly stolen more than
• 28:52
  Speaker 1: forty four thousand dollars from her employer.
• 28:55
  Speaker 2: That's not having that much. That is not that much.
• 28:58
  Speaker 2: I'm sorry forever. How many years?
• 29:01
  Speaker 1: Wait a minute, though, so it was over five years.
• 29:04
  Speaker 1: But that's the first discovery, right, it's the forty four k.
• 29:07
  Speaker 1: More fraud was also discovered that allegedly involved Janis totally
• 29:10
  Speaker 1: more than five hundred and eighty thousand dollars from multiple
• 29:14
  Speaker 1: other financial institutions. Because remember this is real estate, so
• 29:17
  Speaker 1: they're working with a lot of banks. They're working you
• 29:19
  Speaker 1: know what I mean, they're closing these deals. So as
• 29:22
  Speaker 1: for Janis's assault and injuries, investigators said they appear to
• 29:25
  Speaker 1: have been self inflicted. Shocker as detectives found no evidence
• 29:30
  Speaker 1: suggesting she was working with an accomplice. I don't know.
• 29:33
  Speaker 1: Maybe she had her son hit her a couple of times.
• 29:35
  Speaker 1: He had to do something.
• 29:36
  Speaker 2: He had earnest keating isn't there. Did she burn the
• 29:38
  Speaker 2: cameras down?
• 29:40
  Speaker 1: That would be wise. Let's see. It says that Janice's
• 29:44
  Speaker 1: thumb print was also found on a piece of unspecified
• 29:48
  Speaker 1: arsent evidence.
• 29:51
  Speaker 2: I don't know what lighter.
• 29:53
  Speaker 1: You know, unspecified evidences, you know those are evidence also
• 29:58
  Speaker 1: showed that Janice herself had used an accelerant to light the.
• 30:02
  Speaker 2: Fire, like gasoline or riddling.
• 30:07
  Speaker 1: You know, as the tone. You know. I don't know
• 30:10
  Speaker 1: anything about starring fires, but you know something.
• 30:12
  Speaker 2: A nail polish remover, you know how the girls do.
• 30:17
  Speaker 1: I'm very curious, Okay, So what was her hope with
• 30:21
  Speaker 1: lighting the fire that maybe the computer would catch fire
• 30:23
  Speaker 1: and then all her embezzlements would be gone. I don't know.
• 30:26
  Speaker 2: She has to know that everything is in the cloud, right.
• 30:29
  Speaker 1: This is the most terrifying place in the world, the cloud.
• 30:32
  Speaker 2: This is just pure desperation.
• 30:34
  Speaker 1: Honestly, the cloud is the reason I don't send nudes
• 30:37
  Speaker 1: to people like I once had a guy asked, well,
• 30:40
  Speaker 1: guys are asking for news or girls too, but I
• 30:42
  Speaker 1: don't send news. But one time a guy kept asking
• 30:44
  Speaker 1: me for nudes. So finally I drew a picture like
• 30:46
  Speaker 1: a stick figure with some titties, and then I put
• 30:49
  Speaker 1: a real picture of my face on the top, and
• 30:50
  Speaker 1: I was like, here you go.
• 30:54
  Speaker 2: I hope you never get hacked for that. Right. People
• 30:57
  Speaker 2: will be like, Lacey is a freak.
• 31:00
  Speaker 1: It's worse than a nude. They're like, what is she into?
• 31:04
  Speaker 2: She's got a child's drawing of a huge set of titties.
• 31:09
  Speaker 1: And her real face like haphazardly photoshopped onto it. Yes,
• 31:14
  Speaker 1: that's when you see that I have real problems. Right,
• 31:22
  Speaker 1: So let's talk about Janison. Her time, time for her crime.
• 31:26
  Speaker 1: Oh so, the Santa Clarita District Attorney's office said that
• 31:31
  Speaker 1: Carlstrom will be arraigned on arson grand theft, workers compensation fraud,
• 31:38
  Speaker 1: and filing a fake police damn it, through the whole
• 31:41
  Speaker 1: library houses.
• 31:42
  Speaker 2: Wow, even the workmen's comp.
• 31:46
  Speaker 1: Damn it.
• 31:47
  Speaker 2: That should get wrapped into the cover up crime, you know. Right.
• 31:50
  Speaker 2: Come on, if I was her public defender, because she
• 31:52
  Speaker 2: does not have the money to pay for a defender, right,
• 31:55
  Speaker 2: I'd be like, judge, come on, now, look at Janis.
• 32:00
  Speaker 2: Don't do this to her and show the show them.
• 32:02
  Speaker 1: Your sad face, like yeah, like what is Janice really
• 32:05
  Speaker 1: gonna do to society? Like she's a feeble older woman.
• 32:09
  Speaker 1: Let Janie live. Also, y'all didn't have to throw this
• 32:12
  Speaker 1: many books at Janie. They're gonna throw the whole fucking
• 32:14
  Speaker 1: Harry Potter series. At heard it was like in the
• 32:16
  Speaker 1: prison and also this one, and like like.
• 32:20
  Speaker 2: Goddamn book seven split in.
• 32:22
  Speaker 1: Two, Like this's a lot of books. I mean, JK.
• 32:25
  Speaker 1: Rowling is a turf boot. But but they threw a
• 32:29
  Speaker 1: lot of books in my ses. So over the past year,
• 32:31
  Speaker 1: the Sheriff's office said they collected evidence indicating that carlshrum
• 32:35
  Speaker 1: Janis was embezzling hundreds of thousands of dollars from her employer,
• 32:39
  Speaker 1: with the latest estimate being bound more around like the
• 32:42
  Speaker 1: five baby that we thought, Okay, that's not bad.
• 32:44
  Speaker 2: Good amount. You can show somebody who's like, you know,
• 32:48
  Speaker 2: I'm only gonna take a little bit each year, you know,
• 32:50
  Speaker 2: pad the books, but not like take the whole book, right.
• 32:53
  Speaker 1: I mean, one hundred k a year is a big pad.
• 32:55
  Speaker 1: Uh yeah, But I still love it for her, Honestly,
• 32:59
  Speaker 1: I don't understand why she would draw more attention to
• 33:01
  Speaker 1: herself by drawing like making this fucking fire like but
• 33:03
  Speaker 1: it's just move, move towns, change the name a wig,
• 33:11
  Speaker 1: give us a wig moment, okay, but burning down the
• 33:15
  Speaker 1: office just seems very counterprodeicting.
• 33:18
  Speaker 2: But it's definitely like she's deeply unwell at that time,
• 33:21
  Speaker 2: like not feeling great, right, nervous, like imagining Janis right before,
• 33:25
  Speaker 2: just being like I can't believe I'm about to fucking
• 33:27
  Speaker 2: do this, right, a life of crime though, Yeah, true, definitely.
• 33:33
  Speaker 1: Panic And she was about to get discovered and maybe
• 33:35
  Speaker 1: have to go to jail anyway. So if you don't
• 33:37
  Speaker 1: have to go to jail anyway, you might as well
• 33:38
  Speaker 1: sprinkle some arsony, you know, really make it cute for
• 33:41
  Speaker 1: the girls.
• 33:42
  Speaker 2: I might as well just die in jail. I have
• 33:44
  Speaker 2: no retirement, that's true.
• 33:46
  Speaker 1: Jail is it's a bad retirement plan. But they will
• 33:50
  Speaker 1: house you and feed you.
• 33:51
  Speaker 2: There's a library sometimes.
• 33:54
  Speaker 1: Right, you go to white collar jail, they have you know, cricket.
• 33:57
  Speaker 1: You know you can make a sweater. Why are you jealous?
• 34:01
  Speaker 1: Cute Martha was living cute up in there.
• 34:04
  Speaker 2: They're like, welcome to white color jail. Where you are British.
• 34:08
  Speaker 1: Everyone's automatically British. It's just what happens in white cole
• 34:12
  Speaker 1: of jail.
• 34:13
  Speaker 2: Yes, I'll jealous, Okay, come through accents.
• 34:16
  Speaker 1: Thank you, thank you, my special skills. So, when Janis
• 34:20
  Speaker 1: was interviewed by detective, she admitted making fraudulent payments and
• 34:24
  Speaker 1: setting the fire to conceal the Damn Janie, you just
• 34:28
  Speaker 1: saying like abstole.
• 34:29
  Speaker 2: Goddamn deny, Janie, deny.
• 34:33
  Speaker 1: He was supposed to get in there and do the
• 34:34
  Speaker 1: shaggy It wasn't me like you're supposed to get in there.
• 34:38
  Speaker 2: No, she did not hold up to scrutiny.
• 34:40
  Speaker 1: No, not at all. She also confessed to making up
• 34:43
  Speaker 1: the story about being assaulted by the unknown suspect. Okay,
• 34:46
  Speaker 1: I hope at least your son did the punching or
• 34:48
  Speaker 1: something like. He had to do some kind of work
• 34:50
  Speaker 1: for this. I feel like she was doing all the
• 34:52
  Speaker 1: work and the sun was.
• 34:53
  Speaker 2: Her own damn nose. Didn't have to do that.
• 34:56
  Speaker 1: He at least better be doing some dishes if he
• 34:58
  Speaker 1: went breaking her nose and helping her out.
• 35:00
  Speaker 2: You know they're taking his house right now.
• 35:03
  Speaker 1: Damn they are, huh because they know about it. Oh,
• 35:06
  Speaker 1: and the Feds are petty. They will take anything that's
• 35:08
  Speaker 1: not nailed down. I feel so bad for old Janie's
• 35:11
  Speaker 1: This is just tragic. Guys, if you're caught in bezzlin,
• 35:15
  Speaker 1: just try to move. I don't know, weave the.
• 35:17
  Speaker 2: Country and we just don't take care of our elderly,
• 35:21
  Speaker 2: you know, right, and I get that she's she said
• 35:24
  Speaker 2: she's in her seventies, right, seventies still working. That is
• 35:29
  Speaker 2: that's the real criminal prime here is that at age
• 35:31
  Speaker 2: seventy three, I still have to be going into Sarah
• 35:33
  Speaker 2: tooga realty.
• 35:35
  Speaker 1: Right, Oh, you're right about that. Honestly, I'm on Janis's side, like,
• 35:40
  Speaker 1: get mad, honey, steal all the money. I'm sorry, You're
• 35:43
  Speaker 1: gonna probably spend a little time in jail, and these
• 35:45
  Speaker 1: are your twilight years. But maybe that could be a
• 35:47
  Speaker 1: fun change because when you are all like you need
• 35:50
  Speaker 1: a new purpose and maybe like going on bad.
• 35:53
  Speaker 2: Like my grandma she got remarried at seventy eight, So
• 35:56
  Speaker 2: this is a time where like Janie could be, you know,
• 36:00
  Speaker 2: meeting the new sugar daddy, like she didn't have to
• 36:03
  Speaker 2: go this direction, like she still has it the vava voom.
• 36:07
  Speaker 1: You're right, and she not, you know for a seventy
• 36:09
  Speaker 1: three year old. There's some she could be out here
• 36:11
  Speaker 1: pull with some men. She could get her somebody totally
• 36:13
  Speaker 1: or women whoever she prefers.
• 36:15
  Speaker 2: Also think Princess diaries, glow up. We could do it.
• 36:19
  Speaker 1: Jans. Let us make you over, because prison is trash
• 36:21
  Speaker 1: And no way am I trying to glamorize prison because
• 36:23
  Speaker 1: a prison industrial complex is asked, and y'all know that
• 36:26
  Speaker 1: from me. But I will say, like jan is like,
• 36:28
  Speaker 1: if you want an instant makeover, via Brandon will make
• 36:30
  Speaker 1: you over. It gets you a man. What's a little
• 36:33
  Speaker 1: felony when you seventy three? Nobody cares if you're a fella, Like,
• 36:36
  Speaker 1: that's cute. That's called a checkered past.
• 36:41
  Speaker 2: Complicated.
• 36:42
  Speaker 1: Exactly would I set fire to the place if I
• 36:45
  Speaker 1: had embazled it? I feel like I.
• 36:47
  Speaker 2: Would be too afraid. I think I'd be like, just
• 36:50
  Speaker 2: take me. I don't think I had it, would have
• 36:52
  Speaker 2: it in me to burn down a building.
• 36:54
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it just feels like a huge risk. Also, like
• 36:56
  Speaker 1: what if you burn it down and the fire girls
• 36:58
  Speaker 1: don't get there quickly enough.
• 37:00
  Speaker 2: Somebody is happens to be there before you, cooking their
• 37:03
  Speaker 2: own books, you know, and you kill some y I
• 37:07
  Speaker 2: just couldn't live with myself. Also, I have a great
• 37:09
  Speaker 2: respect for property and the ownership, you know, the man
• 37:14
  Speaker 2: that sort.
• 37:15
  Speaker 1: Of thing, the man you know, boots love locking them,
• 37:18
  Speaker 1: they're taste.
• 37:19
  Speaker 2: I'm sure it was like an architecturally significant Saratoga Real Deco.
• 37:26
  Speaker 1: You know Andy Warhol's been in the Saratoga Realty. Oh yeah, yeah,
• 37:31
  Speaker 1: so it's actually a historical landmark. Yes, we really care
• 37:35
  Speaker 1: about Saratoga Realty a lot. Okay, guys, well let's get
• 37:38
  Speaker 1: into our scammer of the week. So Scammer of the
• 37:42
  Speaker 1: week is where we highlight a famous charlatan who's really
• 37:45
  Speaker 1: truly worthy of our praise or maybe not. We never know.
• 37:49
  Speaker 1: So today, oh, Brendan, Today we're talking about a Brandon.
• 37:53
  Speaker 2: Oh hello, not a Brandan, but a brand Oh my
• 37:55
  Speaker 2: Starbucks name.
• 37:58
  Speaker 1: That's probably so much easier. You know, any ways, are
• 38:01
  Speaker 1: to mispronounce Lacy. I get an ubers and they're like, hey, Lacai.
• 38:04
  Speaker 1: I'm like, is it?
• 38:05
  Speaker 2: Oh no?
• 38:06
  Speaker 1: II yeah. And in school when you had the automatic
• 38:10
  Speaker 1: lunch machine, did you have the automatic lunch machine in
• 38:12
  Speaker 1: school that would like basically announce to everybody if you
• 38:15
  Speaker 1: were poor.
• 38:17
  Speaker 2: We did not, I don't think so it was maybe.
• 38:19
  Speaker 1: I don't know if it was just my school. But
• 38:20
  Speaker 1: when you bought lunch at school, you had to swipe
• 38:23
  Speaker 1: your little school card and it would take money off
• 38:26
  Speaker 1: of your account and then if your account was low,
• 38:28
  Speaker 1: so it would be like thank you la ci and
• 38:31
  Speaker 1: it would like talk and then if your account was
• 38:33
  Speaker 1: would be like account balanced hello, and I'm like why
• 38:37
  Speaker 1: are you?
• 38:37
  Speaker 2: Oh no? Still that I went to like this tiny
• 38:42
  Speaker 2: little Catholic school. I graduated with like fourteen people, like
• 38:45
  Speaker 2: I had no there was like no lunch. She had
• 38:49
  Speaker 2: to bring your own lunch.
• 38:50
  Speaker 1: So oh now I mentioned like a little house on
• 38:53
  Speaker 1: the prairie like.
• 38:54
  Speaker 2: Deeply, yeah, I had pigtails.
• 38:58
  Speaker 1: I ran through the field to get to the school,
• 39:00
  Speaker 1: which was in one.
• 39:01
  Speaker 2: Room now like ethic school uniform learned no math, only
• 39:06
  Speaker 2: learned religion.
• 39:07
  Speaker 1: Yes, that's good for you. There's a lot of math
• 39:09
  Speaker 1: and religion. Something about some loaves and some fishes. You
• 39:12
  Speaker 1: could do math with that. That's a word problem, right.
• 39:16
  Speaker 2: That's a puzzle. That's calculus.
• 39:18
  Speaker 1: How many wines did Jesus turn from water? Like? You know?
• 39:22
  Speaker 1: Things that the girls need to know. Yeah, I don't
• 39:25
  Speaker 1: know why my school machine did that, but it would
• 39:27
  Speaker 1: snitch on us. It'd be like you balance low and
• 39:30
  Speaker 1: I'm like, okay, you gotta ym Like why is the
• 39:32
  Speaker 1: machine talking at all? Curious?
• 39:34
  Speaker 2: This must be someone else's card, right.
• 39:37
  Speaker 1: Why are you trying to shame children? It's not like
• 39:39
  Speaker 1: I got money to put on the card. Oh wow,
• 39:42
  Speaker 1: I didn't realize that that was abnormal until now. So guys, Brandon,
• 39:47
  Speaker 1: back to Brandon. He was arrested February seventeenth, twenty twenty one,
• 39:52
  Speaker 1: on charges of false reporting. We're going back to another
• 39:55
  Speaker 1: false report. Let's stay the thing here. False reporting to
• 39:58
  Speaker 1: law enforcement. Love it. They believe he faked his own
• 40:02
  Speaker 1: kidnapping in order to be excused from his job at
• 40:06
  Speaker 1: the tire store.
• 40:07
  Speaker 2: No, this is him not worth what calin sick.
• 40:12
  Speaker 1: Brandon is so young looking.
• 40:15
  Speaker 2: He's young but looks old to me, like he's got
• 40:19
  Speaker 2: like the goatee moment that's like I'm trying to become
• 40:22
  Speaker 2: a man.
• 40:23
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and he's got a very spotty beard, Like his
• 40:27
  Speaker 1: beard is definitely not four G.
• 40:29
  Speaker 2: He's giving me his face. He's got kind of like
• 40:31
  Speaker 2: Matt Dylan hair from the nineties, or like a Johnny
• 40:35
  Speaker 2: Depp cut.
• 40:36
  Speaker 1: I see it, I see it. His eyes are giving lifeless,
• 40:39
  Speaker 1: they're not really giving a lot of depth behind there,
• 40:43
  Speaker 1: so we might need to be putting him away. His
• 40:46
  Speaker 1: brows would be good if he brushed them. I don't
• 40:48
  Speaker 1: know why I'm going through this whole little boy's face.
• 40:50
  Speaker 1: But yeah, his mustache, his mustache has a strong two bars.
• 40:55
  Speaker 1: We need more signal from the mustache.
• 40:57
  Speaker 2: But yeah, he's got a great cut though. Loving the cut.
• 41:00
  Speaker 1: Because he got a product in it. Okay, So Brandon
• 41:03
  Speaker 1: worked at a car shop in Coolidge, Arizona, where he
• 41:06
  Speaker 1: installed tires and drove around the area to pick up
• 41:09
  Speaker 1: parts for the store. Police said, drove around the area
• 41:12
  Speaker 1: to pick up parts.
• 41:14
  Speaker 2: Okay, sure, I don't know that world. I imagine that's
• 41:17
  Speaker 2: part of it.
• 41:19
  Speaker 1: Sounds sketchy. And then he also would drive around the
• 41:21
  Speaker 1: area for you know, parts, lying around.
• 41:24
  Speaker 2: Do you know how far are various jobs replacing tires parts.
• 41:29
  Speaker 1: Our car parts? Be they just be lying around.
• 41:32
  Speaker 2: Whenever I have an audition for like something that's like
• 41:35
  Speaker 2: a cop or anything, I'm like, yeah, so talking like
• 41:39
  Speaker 2: you know that life I tried. Basically, I'm basically just like,
• 41:44
  Speaker 2: I wonder if I could not come across as gay
• 41:45
  Speaker 2: in this audition. You can?
• 41:49
  Speaker 1: You can you? Or you just do as I don't know.
• 41:53
  Speaker 1: I turned down cop auditions at the moment because I
• 41:56
  Speaker 1: can't be a lovable cop. If there was like a
• 41:58
  Speaker 1: despicable cop who came around, maybe I would do that,
• 42:00
  Speaker 1: but I've seen some dishes were like she's a cop
• 42:03
  Speaker 1: and she's fun, and I'm like, hmm, no, not my
• 42:06
  Speaker 1: experience with cops.
• 42:09
  Speaker 2: Not sorry, sorry Jake Johnson in that movie Let's Be Cops.
• 42:13
  Speaker 1: Right, I once had okay, the weirdest, Okay, not the worst,
• 42:17
  Speaker 1: because I don't want to bum you guys out, but
• 42:18
  Speaker 1: I've had some bad experience with police because hello, I'm black.
• 42:21
  Speaker 1: I'm openly black. I'm coming out as black today like
• 42:25
  Speaker 1: I do every day when I leave my house. But
• 42:27
  Speaker 1: I once got pulled over after leaving a catering event
• 42:29
  Speaker 1: in downtown LA. And you know how downtown LA has
• 42:31
  Speaker 1: like eight lanes but they all one way. Well, I'm
• 42:34
  Speaker 1: from Texas. I don't understand that. So when I first
• 42:36
  Speaker 1: got here, I was just like lanes and fully didn't
• 42:39
  Speaker 1: read these signs. So I was driving down the wrong
• 42:41
  Speaker 1: lane of like an eight lane street trash. I get
• 42:44
  Speaker 1: pulled over by a cop on a motorcycle, which I'm
• 42:47
  Speaker 1: already like motorcycle. I don't like anybody on two wheels.
• 42:49
  Speaker 1: It just feels like a scam.
• 42:50
  Speaker 2: Like how you's a very terminator too for me, where
• 42:53
  Speaker 2: I'm like, you're heady fucking kill me exactly.
• 42:55
  Speaker 1: So he pulls me over and he's like, hey, do
• 42:58
  Speaker 1: you know why I pulled you over? And I was like,
• 43:00
  Speaker 1: what's up? And I would never talk like that to
• 43:02
  Speaker 1: blues off, so I was like, oh, no, officer, I don't. Also,
• 43:05
  Speaker 1: I'm British. That makes me like a little bit more
• 43:08
  Speaker 1: of a white black than more. Do you like that,
• 43:12
  Speaker 1: isn't it? I do that for cops and also for
• 43:16
  Speaker 1: any historical black figure movies because they love to pick
• 43:19
  Speaker 1: British black actors. I'm like, well I can do that too.
• 43:22
  Speaker 2: I that's Harriet right.
• 43:26
  Speaker 1: Thank you guys so much for having me, and today
• 43:28
  Speaker 1: I would love to play Ariot Tubman Aria. It has
• 43:30
  Speaker 1: been the dream of mine to be Ariot Aria admen
• 43:36
  Speaker 1: area the strongest cock me accent. I would love to
• 43:40
  Speaker 1: be Aria. I mentioned it so much for the slaves.
• 43:44
  Speaker 2: Don't say the first letter of any word that's.
• 43:47
  Speaker 1: British for the alaves, Like even when you definitely need
• 43:51
  Speaker 1: the first slaves, I'm like, oh, don't beat me, I'm alive.
• 43:58
  Speaker 1: How's that guy? So my accent slip out, so yeah,
• 44:02
  Speaker 1: you know I'm putting on the funk. Right. He goes
• 44:04
  Speaker 1: have you been drinking tonight And I was like no.
• 44:06
  Speaker 1: I left the catering event so I was working. But
• 44:09
  Speaker 1: I was like no, and he was like, blow on
• 44:11
  Speaker 1: my hand.
• 44:14
  Speaker 2: Excuse me, blow your hot breath onto his hand.
• 44:18
  Speaker 1: Yes, he asked me to blow on his hand. I
• 44:21
  Speaker 1: guess to see if he could smell the alcohol to
• 44:24
  Speaker 1: fuck with me.
• 44:25
  Speaker 2: Did he bring his hand up, Yes, he brought his hand.
• 44:29
  Speaker 1: Oh, he brought his hand and his face close to mine,
• 44:32
  Speaker 1: and he was like, blow on my hand. So like
• 44:35
  Speaker 1: I was like, am I blowing in your mouth? Wasn't happening?
• 44:38
  Speaker 1: And then you know I'm black. So I was like, okay,
• 44:41
  Speaker 1: don't kill me.
• 44:45
  Speaker 2: That is not COVID friendly. Okay, but is that a procedure?
• 44:49
  Speaker 1: Brendany can you tell me blowing on the hand?
• 44:51
  Speaker 2: I think maybe you just got me too, Like now,
• 44:57
  Speaker 2: I don't think you. I don't think that's the thing.
• 45:00
  Speaker 1: Give me drinking at night, suck on my finger, and
• 45:02
  Speaker 1: then I'll sell it. What.
• 45:05
  Speaker 2: It's like that episode of Friends where Joe is like,
• 45:07
  Speaker 2: you know, that's how they do pants, and the guy
• 45:10
  Speaker 2: who's been making his pants his whole life has been
• 45:12
  Speaker 2: cupping his balls.
• 45:13
  Speaker 1: You know. Yeah, that's how they do pants pants from
• 45:17
  Speaker 1: the back. No oh man, boy, oh boy, that's only
• 45:21
  Speaker 1: happened to me one more time, and I'll just say
• 45:23
  Speaker 1: it because we're on the subject. I was in London
• 45:25
  Speaker 1: and I had a doctor who like every time I
• 45:28
  Speaker 1: would come because I'd had a cyst removed, but it
• 45:30
  Speaker 1: was like near my butt, so this is so tor bi.
• 45:34
  Speaker 1: I had to like get take my panties off and
• 45:36
  Speaker 1: get it like dressed every day until it healed. And
• 45:40
  Speaker 1: I got some freeze surgery that I stole from London
• 45:42
  Speaker 1: and thanks Chelsea Westminster, I'll never pay you, bitch. When
• 45:47
  Speaker 1: the doctor would always be like, you know, you always
• 45:50
  Speaker 1: made a skinny little nikas and he was talking about
• 45:52
  Speaker 1: my thongs and I was like, oh, yeah, I can
• 45:53
  Speaker 1: wearing thongs and he was like, you know, you're so fit,
• 45:56
  Speaker 1: and I was like, I do be running and then
• 45:58
  Speaker 1: I didn't know that fit mint.
• 46:00
  Speaker 2: Like hot hot. Yeah.
• 46:02
  Speaker 1: I'm like ask naked and he's like you're so fit.
• 46:05
  Speaker 1: I'm like, thank you, sir, I do be runny.
• 46:08
  Speaker 2: He was. He like, I feel like we're really cracking on.
• 46:12
  Speaker 1: Maybe, Oh lord. I was obliviate.
• 46:14
  Speaker 2: I lied to a gay doctor obviously, because you have
• 46:17
  Speaker 2: to different needs, and sometimes like these doctors can be
• 46:22
  Speaker 2: a little bit like over familiar, you know. Like one
• 46:26
  Speaker 2: time I had a doctor, the nurse practitioner in the
• 46:28
  Speaker 2: office like swab my mouth, you know, and he went
• 46:31
  Speaker 2: really deep and I was like and he was like,
• 46:33
  Speaker 2: you need to work on your gag reflex. And I
• 46:35
  Speaker 2: was like, excuse me, you're you're a medical professional, sure
• 46:42
  Speaker 2: for you?
• 46:45
  Speaker 1: You were like, I don't. I have one gay doctor.
• 46:48
  Speaker 1: He is my urgent care doctor who I love to
• 46:51
  Speaker 1: visit because I love to panic, and he's like that too,
• 46:54
  Speaker 1: but I receive it like I'll come in panic about
• 46:57
  Speaker 1: something he's like, lazy, why are you worried about this?
• 46:59
  Speaker 1: And he's like, you don't have any of these diseases
• 47:02
  Speaker 1: I really need to, Like he'll just come to therapise
• 47:04
  Speaker 1: me sometimes and I'm like okay. But also there's a
• 47:06
  Speaker 1: really hot nurse at my doctor's office that is so
• 47:09
  Speaker 1: fucking hot, and I was trying to like track him
• 47:11
  Speaker 1: down because I think like we belong together. One time
• 47:13
  Speaker 1: he like did my intake and I was like, this
• 47:16
  Speaker 1: man is beautiful. And every time I go to see
• 47:19
  Speaker 1: the doctor over there, I always have something really embarrassing.
• 47:23
  Speaker 1: And then He's always there when I have something embarrassing,
• 47:26
  Speaker 1: Like when COVID first started, I thought maybe I had
• 47:28
  Speaker 1: COVID because I had a flu and I didn't have COVID,
• 47:33
  Speaker 1: but I was like, hey, what are They were like
• 47:35
  Speaker 1: what are your symptoms? And I was like uh, And
• 47:37
  Speaker 1: the hot guy was there and I was like, diarrhea.
• 47:46
  Speaker 1: It's cute, though, like the cutest diarrhea you could imagine,
• 47:49
  Speaker 1: like it don't even doctors.
• 47:51
  Speaker 2: Is really hot and he's always just like okay, so
• 47:54
  Speaker 2: like how many sexual partners? And I'm always like, well,
• 47:57
  Speaker 2: you know, just.
• 47:57
  Speaker 1: Waiting on mister right, does Jesus count.
• 48:04
  Speaker 2: I'm free tonight?
• 48:06
  Speaker 1: Right, He's the only one I let inside of me?
• 48:08
  Speaker 1: So what's up? Yes, trying to be hot for medical professionals.
• 48:14
  Speaker 1: I love it. Big tangent, back to what's happening here?
• 48:18
  Speaker 1: So Brandon. On February tenth and about five twenty five pm,
• 48:22
  Speaker 1: the police responded to a report about an injured man
• 48:25
  Speaker 1: in an area near the train tracks. Okay, train tracks, dude,
• 48:29
  Speaker 1: also sounds like.
• 48:30
  Speaker 2: You come through old timey villain.
• 48:33
  Speaker 1: We love an old timey villain. So the caller reported
• 48:37
  Speaker 1: that a man was going in and out of consciousness.
• 48:40
  Speaker 1: When the officers arrived, they found a man later identified
• 48:42
  Speaker 1: as Brandon, with his hands bound behind his back and
• 48:45
  Speaker 1: a belt and a purple bandana stuffed in his mouth.
• 48:49
  Speaker 2: Hmmm.
• 48:50
  Speaker 1: I love that the people who call the cops were like,
• 48:52
  Speaker 1: he's going in and out of consciousness and y'all didn't
• 48:55
  Speaker 1: notice who was caught up.
• 48:57
  Speaker 2: That's definitely his belt because he needs it right.
• 49:00
  Speaker 1: Ants are hanging off and it matches his shoes. Did
• 49:03
  Speaker 1: you just like pick your work outfit?
• 49:05
  Speaker 2: And was like a theme this week of just people
• 49:08
  Speaker 2: tying themselves up.
• 49:11
  Speaker 1: Also, the time that he looked doesn't look very tight.
• 49:14
  Speaker 1: It feels like he could wriggle out of that. Am
• 49:16
  Speaker 1: I crazy? No, you're not, okay? So guys, we're looking
• 49:19
  Speaker 1: at a photo of this man Brandon, laying in a ditch.
• 49:22
  Speaker 1: He did a very good job of rolling around his
• 49:24
  Speaker 1: sand ditch to just really give us ashiness, give us panic.
• 49:28
  Speaker 2: Like a blue short sleeve button down with the collar popped.
• 49:33
  Speaker 1: Yes, so it feels as though this is his work uniform.
• 49:37
  Speaker 1: He did pop his collar before he faked his kidnapping,
• 49:40
  Speaker 1: because you know, gotta stay fresh. Kidnappers not gonna catch
• 49:45
  Speaker 1: him slipping okay. So yeah, So when the officers arrived,
• 49:51
  Speaker 1: they found a man later identified as Brandon with his
• 49:54
  Speaker 1: hands bound behind his back and a belt and a
• 49:56
  Speaker 1: purple bandana stuff in his mouth. Right. A photo from
• 49:58
  Speaker 1: the police department showed Brandon with his hand time he's
• 50:00
  Speaker 1: lying on the ground, giving us a cute kidnapp moment.
• 50:03
  Speaker 1: So Brandon told officers that after completing an errand that morning,
• 50:08
  Speaker 1: he returned to his home where two masked men abducted
• 50:11
  Speaker 1: him near his vehicle, struck him in the back of
• 50:13
  Speaker 1: the head, and knocked him unconscious. Brandon said, the men
• 50:17
  Speaker 1: drove me around in a vehicle before they let me
• 50:20
  Speaker 1: out in an area where I was found. Okay, okay, so.
• 50:24
  Speaker 2: It's been reading up on the is everyone reading the
• 50:28
  Speaker 2: same manual? And how to kidnap yourself? Like hit yourself
• 50:31
  Speaker 2: on the back of the head.
• 50:33
  Speaker 1: That's a sweet spot. Okay, here's my curiosity.
• 50:37
  Speaker 2: What's the crime?
• 50:39
  Speaker 1: No shame branded but why would two people go out
• 50:44
  Speaker 1: buy some ski masks for five ninety nine on Amazon?
• 50:48
  Speaker 1: Don't tell me why I know, and then sheltering your
• 50:51
  Speaker 1: home and and take you, take you Brandon?
• 50:54
  Speaker 2: What is he said? Like, there's no motive? Here, like,
• 50:58
  Speaker 2: is he what do they want from him?
• 51:00
  Speaker 1: What were you going to give them, Brandon the.
• 51:02
  Speaker 2: Day off work? Is he just literally avoiding work?
• 51:06
  Speaker 1: Judge about the belt and the shoes that you're wearing
• 51:08
  Speaker 1: during this abduction. I don't know if you have anything
• 51:10
  Speaker 1: to give them, Brandon, no shame, but I'm curious. So
• 51:15
  Speaker 1: he was taken to a hospital where he was evaluated
• 51:17
  Speaker 1: and interviewed by the police. This is when he told
• 51:19
  Speaker 1: investigators that he had been kidnapped because his father had
• 51:22
  Speaker 1: a large amount of money hidden throughout the desert.
• 51:26
  Speaker 2: Okay, this is Sola Buff's Holes, right.
• 51:29
  Speaker 1: I was like, so, your daddy is the nigga from Holes.
• 51:32
  Speaker 2: Dig It up, bab dig it up, dig it up.
• 51:37
  Speaker 1: They're saying that the whole time they were driving me around.
• 51:42
  Speaker 2: I was kidnapped by Armpit and one of the other
• 51:45
  Speaker 2: characters trolls.
• 51:49
  Speaker 1: Yo, what was that one who didn't talk?
• 51:51
  Speaker 3: It was the whole Zero because he didn't say anything,
• 51:54
  Speaker 3: and Zero pulled up fifty chapter that that book is
• 51:59
  Speaker 3: fifty chapters, and I'm remember reading it in grade school
• 52:02
  Speaker 3: and being like, I just read a fifty chapter book.
• 52:05
  Speaker 1: Same same. They had lots of spaces in between them, sentences,
• 52:08
  Speaker 1: but it was still fifty chapters and I took the
• 52:10
  Speaker 1: w So this is how he got caught. For days,
• 52:15
  Speaker 1: detectives tried to investigate his account by reviewing surveillance video
• 52:18
  Speaker 1: of the area and interviewing people that he mentioned. Hospital
• 52:21
  Speaker 1: records show that Brandon had no concussion or injury to
• 52:24
  Speaker 1: his head, and text messages reviewed by detectives did not
• 52:26
  Speaker 1: show a messages or phone calls that Brandon described. Eventually,
• 52:30
  Speaker 1: and after repeated confronting Brandon with problems in his story,
• 52:34
  Speaker 1: detect basically they were like, branding you lion, branded you lion.
• 52:39
  Speaker 1: He was like, no, mom for real, zero and that
• 52:41
  Speaker 1: nigga RP came and then we rode around in a
• 52:45
  Speaker 1: Ford exploor and then they left me by the train tracks.
• 52:48
  Speaker 2: There were no text, snow emails, snow calls, contactless crime.
• 52:55
  Speaker 1: Right, contactless crime. You've heard of contactless delivery. We also
• 53:00
  Speaker 1: have contactless ground. It's very healthy and safe. I appreciate it.
• 53:04
  Speaker 1: So they're basically like, Brandon, girl, you lie and stop
• 53:06
  Speaker 1: with the lies, and eventually he breaks because hospital records
• 53:12
  Speaker 1: show that you know, none of this shit was true.
• 53:14
  Speaker 1: So eventually he basically says his story was fabricated and
• 53:18
  Speaker 1: no kidnapping or saw occurred. Duh. They also determined that
• 53:21
  Speaker 1: the story of hidden treasure was false. Damn, you didn't
• 53:24
  Speaker 1: even had no treasure for real.
• 53:26
  Speaker 2: It's a tall tail.
• 53:28
  Speaker 1: He goes in there and he files like a stolen
• 53:30
  Speaker 1: like insurance claim for the missing treasure. Uh man, not
• 53:34
  Speaker 1: think goes through. They also determine that basically a manager
• 53:39
  Speaker 1: from the tire store declined to comment on the arrest,
• 53:42
  Speaker 1: and according to Brandon's Facebook profile, he no longer works there.
• 53:46
  Speaker 1: The profile's now private, So I'm guessing he just did
• 53:51
  Speaker 1: all of this to get out of work.
• 53:54
  Speaker 2: I mean, to avoid getting fired for skipping a shift.
• 53:59
  Speaker 1: It just feels like a like what happened is sick.
• 54:01
  Speaker 1: Maybe he had called us sick too many times it
• 54:03
  Speaker 1: was time to call hi kidnapped.
• 54:04
  Speaker 2: Right, that's desperad that is Brandon. Just show up, Brandon,
• 54:11
  Speaker 2: you don't want to go.
• 54:12
  Speaker 1: Your child must be really bad if you were rather
• 54:14
  Speaker 1: late in a ditch next to the train.
• 54:16
  Speaker 2: Tracks out of the house. It's not like you're at
• 54:19
  Speaker 2: home watching Netflix, like making case a dias, which is
• 54:23
  Speaker 2: what I do all day. But it's like, what do
• 54:26
  Speaker 2: you You're just getting yourself really dirty.
• 54:28
  Speaker 1: You're in your you're in your uniform. You could have
• 54:31
  Speaker 1: just went to work like we had to do this.
• 54:34
  Speaker 2: Brandon's already running an errand in the morning, driving around
• 54:38
  Speaker 2: picking up parts.
• 54:39
  Speaker 1: Guys, have any of you called and kidnapped? Let me know?
• 54:42
  Speaker 1: Is this a good strategy? Should I try to?
• 54:45
  Speaker 2: So? I still like, don't really believe when people are sick,
• 54:48
  Speaker 2: because I would just pretend to be sick all my
• 54:50
  Speaker 2: childhood to stay out of school.
• 54:52
  Speaker 1: That was wise of you, I mean, and truly you
• 54:54
  Speaker 1: were actually sick. You were sick of going to school.
• 54:57
  Speaker 1: That's sick that I was sick.
• 54:59
  Speaker 2: I was sick of it.
• 55:00
  Speaker 1: It's like I'm sinking a shit. I'll be own because
• 55:03
  Speaker 1: I'm tired of it. Okay, it okay, And when I
• 55:08
  Speaker 1: get well, I'll let you host. No, but it won't
• 55:11
  Speaker 1: be soon, So don't even wish that. Okay, push me
• 55:15
  Speaker 1: a long recovery because that's what I need. Oh yes, okay, guys, man,
• 55:20
  Speaker 1: what a fun episode. We've reached the end, and I
• 55:22
  Speaker 1: have to let Brendan go before I do that. Brenda,
• 55:24
  Speaker 1: we always ask where do you want people to find
• 55:27
  Speaker 1: you and your content?
• 55:28
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah, go watch go watch Bonding on Netflix. It's
• 55:32
  Speaker 2: really quick. It's a little BDSM comedy. There's two seasons
• 55:35
  Speaker 2: of it, but they're both really short episodes, like fifteen
• 55:38
  Speaker 2: minutes each. And uh, yeah, I'm trying to stay off
• 55:41
  Speaker 2: social media right now, so don't find me there.
• 55:43
  Speaker 1: Oh okay, cleanse yourself, cleanse your mind. I love that.
• 55:47
  Speaker 1: I loved it. I love how you get roped into
• 55:49
  Speaker 1: this crazy world and then you're like fully a part
• 55:52
  Speaker 1: of it. I had to finish it, but I started
• 55:54
  Speaker 1: Bonding not too long ago, and I was like, okay.
• 55:56
  Speaker 2: Yes, it just really gets like the Loin's going.
• 56:00
  Speaker 1: It does. It's very hort there's a lot of leather.
• 56:02
  Speaker 1: There's a lot of leather. It's it's you look really
• 56:05
  Speaker 1: hot in it too. It's it's great. It's a feast
• 56:07
  Speaker 1: for the eyes and for the brain.
• 56:08
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's all about looking good.
• 56:10
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's all my only scam.
• 56:13
  Speaker 2: They're making these cameras so intense now they need to
• 56:16
  Speaker 2: stop blurring up like what happened.
• 56:19
  Speaker 1: To the nineteen twenties cameras. Man, I wish I could
• 56:21
  Speaker 1: have acted in the twenties and then everyone was talking
• 56:24
  Speaker 1: like this and John, it's gonna be a big Red Rosa.
• 56:27
  Speaker 1: Like nobody had to act in the in the fifties.
• 56:30
  Speaker 2: No, they were all just like fresh out of vaudeville,
• 56:32
  Speaker 2: like what's the pictures?
• 56:34
  Speaker 1: The talkies? Why you get yourself in the talkie? Uh? Things?
• 56:38
  Speaker 1: People said things like why I wanna like I.
• 56:40
  Speaker 2: Wish a lot of old timy villains doing stuff near
• 56:44
  Speaker 2: the train stations.
• 56:46
  Speaker 1: Which is where this this episode clearly got its inspiration from,
• 56:49
  Speaker 1: with lots of old timey villains. Love you guys, you
• 56:53
  Speaker 1: Vaudeville comedian criminals. Guys. If you want to find us,
• 56:56
  Speaker 1: scamcot his pot on all platforms. If you want to
• 56:59
  Speaker 1: send us your scams, just make sure they're retired scamoddesspot
• 57:02
  Speaker 1: at gmail dot com. And if you want to follow
• 57:03
  Speaker 1: me in my Shenanigans, d iv A l A c
• 57:06
  Speaker 1: I Diva Lacy on all platforms. I'm back on ABC's
• 57:09
  Speaker 1: The Con guys, so look out for that. We're telling
• 57:11
  Speaker 1: us a new fuss for Reese Honey at me as
• 57:14
  Speaker 1: a con expert, the biggest con I pulled off so far.
• 57:16
  Speaker 1: Stay Skaming, Scam Goddess. This has been an Earwolf production
• 57:22
  Speaker 1: in association with Team Coco. Scam Goddess is starring me
• 57:26
  Speaker 1: The Scam Goddess aka Lazy Mosley. Scam Goddess is produced
• 57:30
  Speaker 1: by Chelsea Jacobson and engineered by Marina Bayez with research
• 57:34
  Speaker 1: by shehrilyn vera Say scaming